The ride back to Coventry was filled with silence. It was just Grayson and myself; Candace would be joining us on Saturday. We had been driving for about 45 minutes and so far neither one of us had uttered more than two words. It was late; the dashboard clock glowed 12:53am and I know he had to be exhausted from his long day. And we still had another hour or more to go. The traffic was lighter than normal, but wouldn't become sparse until we were another good half hour down the road.

I shifted in my seat and rubbed my swollen eyes. They hurt and, at the moment, I wanted nothing more than to fall into the welcome arms of sleep. But I knew only horrible dreams would plague me and that would be if I could even get to sleep.

"You alright?" Grayson finally broke the silence and I looked over to find him watching me.

"No."

"Me either." He turned back to the road.

I sighed and tucked some limp hair behind my ear. "This sucks."

"You're telling me."

"I can't believe it's really happening. That... that he's really gone..." my voice broke and I pressed my lips together in an attempt to keep some kind of composure.

"Me either," he echoed softly.

I cleared my throat some. "Let's talk about something else."

"Okay." He flexed his hands on the wheel, watching the lights from the car ahead of us. "Who was that guy that brought you back tonight?"

I hadn't meant that, and I hadn't meant for them to even meet, but once the cab had gotten us back to Grayson's apartment complex, Andrew had insisted on seeing me inside, saying I was in no condition to make it on my own. He thought I'd end up misreading the elevator numbers and end up on the roof. I tried to tell him I was okay, but it didn't work and the two met very briefly when Andrew spotted my brother as I opened the door to head inside.

"You met him, you know his name."

"Yes, we met for like five seconds and I learned his name, but who is he?"

I sighed, not wanting to get into the semantics of my relationships with people. "His name is Andrew Holden and he's an architect. He lives in LA, but he's out here working on a big project. And when you stood me up-"

"I didn't stand you up," he interrupted me. "I told you after you got back that I was called in to some late night emergency meeting."

"Okay, when you had emergency meetings and your building lost all telephone service-"

"Morgan, I told you that I hadn't been able to call because I can't just tell the president of Johnson & Johnson that I needed five minutes to call my sister."

I contained the eye roll that wanted to slip out. "Fine, anyway," he scowled at that, but I ignored it, "when I realized you weren't going to be home in time for dinner, I called him and wet met up."

"Are you seeing him?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no. We are strictly friends."

"Are you seeing anyone?"

I frowned some. "Why are you asking me that?"

He shrugged. "Just making conversation."

"Yeah, somehow I feel it's a little more than "just conversation"," I finger quoted the last part of my sentence.

"Maybe it is." He glanced my way. "I'm just wondering how you're getting along out there, alone."

Was he trying to piss me off on purpose? "First off; I'm not alone, and second of all; I'm getting along just fine, thank you."

"Why are you getting so defensive?" His tone changed to a softer demeanor.

I rubbed my head, wishing that the silence was still filling the car. "I'm not getting defensive."

"You are, Morgan." He glanced over at me again.

I blew a puff of air from between my lips. "I'm tired of people thinking that I'm all alone out there and that I'm not moving on with my life; that I'm hiding and wasting away." I shook my head. "I'm not doing any of that."

"We only think those things because you ran away from here and for the past year and a half have refused to see any of us," His tone had lost the edge and held genuine notes of concern.

"I know and I didn't mean for it to go down that way. I just...wanted a fresh start."

"Without your family?"

The lights from the dashboard reflected on his face and I thought I detected a disheartened expression. It made my chest ache. "I know I hurt you guys and I'm so sorry. I guess I was just afraid you would remind me of Hugh and I didn't want anything that'd remind me of Hugh."

His eyes met mine. "I get that, but you have no idea the kind of grief and turmoil it put Mom and Dad through."

My gaze dropped to my lap. "I know."

"And look what you lost because of it; the last few years left with Poppy."

Hot tears began to sting my eyes. "Don't remind me, please."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, the last thing I want to do is make you feel guilty. You don't need that on top of what you're already going through. What we're all going through."

I brushed some stray tears from my cheeks. "I don't want you mad at me."

He slowed the car some as the traffic ahead of us slowed down. "Morgan, I'm not mad at you. I was mad at first, seeing how upset our parents were, but not anymore. Now, I just feel sad for you."

"Please don't," I shook my head and looked in his direction, "I'm okay, really. Yeah, it was hard and still is, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him...but I can finally see that light at the end of the tunnel."

Grayson reached over and gave my hand a comforting squeeze. "Good. We just want you happy again, that's all."

"I know," I nodded and returned the squeeze before he took his hand back to help steer the vehicle. "I’m getting there; it's been a long time coming, and a very slow process, but I’m getting there."

“That’s all that matters.”

“Right.” I smiled through the tears that shone in my eyes. I hadn’t really noticed too much until tonight, but it was true; I was slowly becoming happy again. And when the time was right, I would tell them about Alex.

~*~*~*~*~

It was late, but my parents were still awake when we got back to Coventry. They were in the living room with my mimi, drinking hot coffee and staring at the floor with somber expressions. My mother’s eyes were red and puffy and my mimi looked like someone had ripped the heart right out of her chest. I went straight to her and wrapped her petite body in my arms, holding her close.

The five of us sat there for another hour, or so, crying and hugging, comforting one another the best we could and trying not to fall to complete pieces. It was emotionally exhausting and when I finally dragged myself up to the bedroom, I barely had enough energy to brush my teeth and change into some sleep clothes. I think I was out before my head hit the pillow.

It wasn’t until the sun hit me squarely in the face and my eyes peeked open that I remembered I hadn’t called Alex. With a groan, I buried my head under my pillow and pouted at not remembering to do that. I knew he would have been able to provide some type of solace for me, even just the sound of his voice was comforting in a way.

Peeking from under my pillow, I noted it was barely 9:30am, way too early California time to make the call. I would just have to make sure I took a few moments to slip away from everyone and get a hold of him later. I’d only been gone a week, but I already missed him something awful. Which was odd to me, but in a way felt strangely normal.

I pouted at that thought and finally tossed the covers from me. I could hear people moving about downstairs and knew family would be arriving soon and I would need to help with whatever my mom needed. This probably meant washing linens and towels and preparing the last guest room for whoever might stay there.

I slipped from the bed and gathered some clothes then headed for the shower. I might feel like crap, but I was going to try to at least look like I felt okay.

Thirty minutes later, I entered the kitchen to find my dad and brother seated at the table finishing up their breakfast. They were both dressed and ready for the day and each pouring over different sections of the morning newspaper.

I set my phone on the counter and grabbed a mug from the cupboard, pouring myself a fresh cup of coffee. "Where are Mom and Mimi?"

"They went with your Uncle Spencer to speak with the director at the funeral home," my father explained, glancing over the top of his paper at me.

I pouted and added some creamer to the black liquid. "Is everyone coming into town today? Do we need to call anyone?"

"Already taken care of," came my brother's response.

"Oh." I held the warm mug with both hands and took a small sip, feeling the scalding liquid heating my mouth and throat then down into my stomach. It felt nice and I took another, sighing at the warmth that filled me.

"You're mimi is going to be staying with us."

I looked over to my father. "That might be best. Who is gonna stay at her place?"

"Your Aunt and her family. They're arriving tonight from Germany."

"Makes sense." I took another drink of the coffee then looked to my cell phone as it gave its familiar ring. Reaching over, I lifted it and checked the screen; Dianna.

"I'm going to take this in the living room," I spoke to Grayson and our father before hurrying from the kitchen. Once in the quietness of the parlor, I lifted my phone and answered it, "Hello?"

"I just had to call and tell you that thanks to your dog, Manuel is now talking about possibly going to look for one for us," Her unenthused voice greeted me. "I hope you're happy."

I chuckled low; Dianna was never one to make small talk. "Hello to you too and I'm thrilled. It's about time you two talked about getting a puppy."

"Ooh no, not a puppy. Maybe, maybe a dog; a year or two old. But no puppy. I'm not about to clean up after any mongrel or try to train them. No matter how much Manuel promised he'd do it, you know that shit would be left up to me."

"True," I laughed low, "okay, so a dog. Where are you looking at? The Humane Society? They get hundreds of precious guys that need good homes."

"Heh, we go in there and my luck we'd come out with four of 'em."

"Aww." I couldn't help the smile that tugged at my lips.

She sighed and I imagined she was scowling. "Daisy is doing well. Though, you may not get her back once you get home because my husband might take her hostage."

My eyes drifted towards the kitchen. "Well, you're going to have to hang onto her for a bit longer...I have no idea when I'll be getting back to LA."

Dianna paused. "What happened?"

I could feel the tears pricking my eyes. The words felt stuck in my throat and I had to force them out, "Poppy...died last night."

"What?! Ooh God, Morgan..."

"Yeah." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Honey, I'm so sorry..."

I could hear the sympathy in her voice and I had to force myself not to cry. "I wasn't even here. I...I was in New York. I should have been here."

"No, Morgan, don't say that. You did what you had to do."

"I should have been here," my voice trembled.

"Don't do that, Morgan. Don't beat yourself up. You had no way of knowing."

I wiped at my eyes again. "I...I know, but I could have...done something. I could have...told him goodbye. I didn't even get to say goodbye." I sank into an armchair and buried my face in my hand.

"Oh, honey..." she sighed and was probably at a loss for words on how to comfort me. “What can I do? You want me to come out there?"

"N...no...you got too much going on. Your... your book is due and...you have those meetings with your publishers. I...I can't let you do that."

"I can reschedule them easy."

"Please, not on my account. I.. I have my parents and...family out here. I'm..." I wet my bottom lip and knew I was about to lie through my teeth, "I'm okay."

She was quiet for a moment, but then finally agreed. We spoke for a few more minutes and she asked for the address to my parents place, insisting that she was going to send flowers if she couldn't be out here for support. I relayed the information and, after promising to call her the following day, we finally hung up.

With a heavy sigh, I slouched more in the chair and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe I should have told her to come on out, I was going to need someone to help keep me sane and Dianna knew exactly how to do that.

I didn't want her to have to reschedule all her meetings though, on my account. This new book of hers was a big deal and putting things on hold would cost a lot of money, not to mention, if she had any appearances or book signings scheduled. Changing even one thing could set off a domino effect and throw everything off balance.

I was just going to have to get through this on my own.

~*~*~*~*~

My family came in hordes on Friday; aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, friends and friends of cousins. Being a small town, the news spread quickly and people were bringing casseroles over before we had even decided on a day for the funeral.

I kept myself busy with tidying the house and finding room in the fridge for all the food. My mom, uncle and mimi finally returned from the funeral home and sat around the table discussing the funeral preparations. Of course, they wanted to wait for Lindsay before making any final decisions and then I was sent over to Mimi's to help prepare it for their arrival.

It was a long and rather exhausting day, physically and emotionally, and I didn't make it back to my parents place until after ten pm. My aunt and her family were due to arrive by midnight and I knew I'd be expected to wait up to greet them with everyone, but at the moment all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and try to get some sleep.

I climbed the porch steps slowly, enjoying my last few minutes of quiet. The lights from inside shone through the tiny spaces between the curtains and the window and I knew most of my family were just on the other side.

I had stayed busy for most the afternoon and evening and no one had really been given a chance to talk to me. Which, on my part, I deemed a good thing. I knew they'd want to ask how things were going, how California was treating me, if I was feeling better. They were wondering why I had left so abruptly, why I felt the need to move across the country, if I was going to be coming back home.

It had been hard enough explaining everything to my parents and Grayson; I was nowhere near ready to explain things to anyone else. The thought of all the questions, looks and whispers made my stomach churn and I found myself seeking refuge on the porch swing.

The night was calm with a slight chill in the air. There wasn't a cloud overhead and all the stars twinkled brightly, the moon full and casting eerie shadows around the yard and out in the street. I was half tempted to go lie in the yard and watch the sky; you didn't see the stars in the city. All the bright lights from Los Angeles dimmed them; such a shame really.

Deciding I didn't have the energy to move off the swing at the moment, I rubbed my arms and wondered how long I'd get away with hiding on the porch. Probably at least until my Aunt Lindsay arrived. Another hour or so. That would only be if I could handle the chill in the air and not be forced inside to seek warmth.

As I swung lazily in the porch swing, I listened to the sounds of the crickets and frogs that lived out in the yard. It dawned on me that not only did I miss the stars, but I missed all the sounds of the nighttime as well; crickets, frogs, locusts, the occasional coyote howl. I'd left a lot behind when I had run to California. Not just my family, but all the things I had grown up with. The small town vibe meant a lot to me and it wasn't until I was back that I realized just how much it did and how much I missed it.

And Hugh.

I hadn't forgotten what day it was and for the first time I felt somewhat grateful that I had been busy enough not to dwell on it. But it loomed over me and a heavy feeling was settling in my chest. Maybe I should go inside; that might be better than taking a trip down memory lane.

I had just risen from the swing when the sound of a vehicle caught my attention and I turned to find a car pulling alongside the curb. It rolled to a stop and parked under a streetlight and I lifted my brows. I had thought my aunt and her family weren't arriving till closer to midnight, but maybe they had gotten lucky and the plane had made good time and landed early.

Watching the dark sedan, I half expected the doors to fly open and my cousins to come spilling out, but after a moment, no one emerged. That seemed a bit odd and I took a step closer to the steps, half intending to see who was inside, half worried I may not want to.

Finally, after what felt like an hour, but was probably more just a few minutes, the interior light came on and the driver's door opened. Apprehension had grown inside me the very moment I realized this was not my aunt and uncle and I nearly bolted for the house when I saw the movement. Horrible thoughts were racing through my mind and I choked back a scream.

Nothing bad ever happened in Coventry. People left their front doors unlocked, their keys in the car, neighbors watched out for neighbors and the worst crime was teen vandalism. But as a figure emerged from inside the vehicle, I suddenly had thoughts of burglary and murder. I was too adjusted to the crimes of bigger cities.

The sound of the car door being shut seemed faint against the pounding of my heart in my ears and as badly as I wanted to bolt into the house, my feet wouldn't let me move. I felt frozen in place. The scream caught in my throat was now making its way into my mouth and as I opened it to let it out, I suddenly recognized the figure.

Alex.

A feeling of relief washed over me and I nearly sagged against one of the white support columns. A million questions filled my mind and I knew my brain was working in overload trying to process everything. Tears sprang to my eyes and instead of a scream; a strangled sound came out instead.

And then I was moving; off the porch and across the yard towards the street. I don't remember doing that. One minute I was on the porch, the next I was throwing myself into his arms, feeling them wrapping around me and hugging me close.

His scent, his warmth, the sound of his heartbeat, the feel of his chest; it flowed through me and tears spilled from my eyes. I pressed my face into his chest and inhaled all that was Alex. He was here. I don't know how or why...but he was. And at the moment, that's all that mattered.