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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you so much guys! You have no idea how grateful I am for all your wonderful words and awesome reviews! I really take what each of you says to heart and I try my hardest to get the chps done in a timely fashion for you ..and make 'em something you'll love! I hope you'll keep the comments coming because I'm having too much fun with this story. So please enjoy this chp! :)

 

The shady tree lined road of Memorial Drive was familiar to me. Too familiar. And the cemetery that sat at the end with wrought iron gates and bold black lettering almost made my stomach churn.

“What are we doing here?” I questioned Alex as he drove us under the arch labeled with Coventry Cemetery. This really was the last place I wanted to be today.

He kept his dark eyes on the path ahead of us. “When was the last time you were here?”

I fiddled with the seatbelt. “Two years ago.”

“Just his funeral? Or have you come after that?”

I felt a little guilty about my next words, “Just his funeral.”

His dark eyes met mine. “How come?”

I sighed and tugged on a strand of my hair. “Do we have to talk about this?”

“No,” he shook his head and slowed a bit more, moving around a car parked on the side of the path, “but you do have to tell me where his plot is.”

My brows lifted. “Why?”

“Cuz, that’s where we’re going.”

“What? Why?”

He slowed at an intersection. “Right or left?”

I sank back into the seat. “Right. Then another right and it’s just past the large stone that says Benson on it, under the willow tree.”

He followed the directions and soon we were parked at the edge of the path, Hugh’s grave across the way.

I stared out the front windshield then brought myself to meet Alex’s gaze. “Why did you bring us here?”

He reached over and pushed the release on my seatbelt. “This morning with the sunrise, you realized that you are really able to overcome and that you’ve got so much left to live for.”

I waited for him to continue, not speaking a word.

He pushed the belt from around me and sat back, releasing his own. “And now, it’s time for you to realize that you’ve got to say goodbye.” His hand shot out and caught my chin before I could look away or argue. “You’re not forgetting, you’re just saying goodbye. Letting go isn’t the end of the world, Morgan; it’s actually the beginning of a new life.”

I felt a lump form in my throat and could only nod. I knew this day would one day eventually come. I had been dreading it, trying to push it away, trying to hide from it. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I took off to California. I didn’t want to say goodbye. But now I knew I needed to. It was time to let Hugh rest in peace and let me live in peace. It was time for me to let go off all the suffering, lost, helplessness and sorrow I’d been holding onto so strongly for the last couple years. It didn’t mean I was forgetting Hugh, I would never forget Hugh. And it didn’t mean that he would mean any less to me, it simply meant that I was finally accepting that there are just some things that no matter how badly you want them, they just cannot be.

“Hey,” Alex brushed away a stray tear, “Henry Beecher once said; ‘What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose.’.”

I blinked some. “Who is Henry Beecher?”

He chuckled. “A prominent figure from the 19th century. It’s a quote.”

“Oh.”

“It’s true though.”

I watched him and gave a nod. “Yes, it is.”

He chuckled again then leaned over me and opened my door. “Do you want me to go with you?”

I caught his shoulder before he could sit right again. “No.”

His face hovered just inches from mine. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” I nodded some then closed the space between us and kissed his mouth softly.

He grinned against my lips and kissed me back, keeping it soft and sweet, just nibbling gently at my mouth.

Finally, he sat back and gave my hand an encouraging squeeze. “I’ll be here.”

“Kay.” I pushed some stray hair from my face and finally slipped from the vehicle. Shutting the door, I adjusted the bottom of my shirt around my waist and crossed in front of the car, heading slowly onto the grass towards Hugh’s grave.

Inside, my heart was starting to beat a little faster and I could feel my palms growing damp. I rubbed them on my jeans then fiddled with the hem of my shirt, needing to keep them busy with something. The lump that had started in my throat in the car was now the size of a golf ball and I nearly turned and fled back to the safety of the car quite a few times. But my feet kept on and soon I was standing before his grave, the headstone still polished and a shiny black.

My teary eyes read over the words inscribed on the front and I slowly sank to my knees.

Hugh Gregory Weston
February 4th 1982-April 20th 2007
Cherished son, loving husband; forever in our hearts

I read the headstone over and over until the words blurred from the tears in my eyes. “Hugh…” I managed out in a small, shaken tone. Gingerly, I reached out and my fingers smoothed over the cool marble. “I’m… so sorry….I… should have come sooner, I should have come… a lot sooner.”

A soft wind blew through the trees and the leaves rustled.

“I just…. I didn’t know how to handle it. What….what to say…” Despite the tremors in my voice, it held up. I took a shaken breath and wiped my cheeks with the sleeves of my long sleeved shirt. “I still….I still don’t know what to say.”

The breeze tickled my face and I glanced around. Could there be some kind of supernatural force at work? After a moment, I frowned at that thought. There were no such things as ghosts, or spirits passing messages from beyond.

“But, I’m here now,” I continued. “And….I’ll be coming back when I’m in town. I…I’ll never forget you.” I touched the stone again and the breeze took that moment to blow stronger, sending goosebumps racing along the back of my neck.

I tried to push it out of my mind. “I’ve…met someone.” I could feel my stomach starting to churn and tried so hard to squelch the fear that wanted to grow. “His name is Alex…and he’s….” I searched for the right words, “he’s…so wonderful to me. He really likes me….and….” I almost felt guilty with the rest of the sentence, “I really like him too.”

Suddenly, the breeze stopped and a quietness filled the air around me. My eyes darted around. Okay, that was weird.

Trying to shrug it off, I smoothed my hands on my jean clad legs and took a shaky breath, letting it out slowly. “So…that means that I have to let you go…..I’ve…been holding on to you for far too long. And…” fresh tears began filling my eyes, but I didn’t wipe them away, “and I can’t do that anymore….you’re…. you’re gone and …I have to move on.”

The wind blew softly again, like it was caressing my face.

My eyes closed and I sat there quietly for a minute, listening to the leaves rustling and a bird in the distance. And in that moment, I knew everything was going to be okay. Hugh was letting me go and I was ready to let go.

Blinking my teary eyes open, I touched his name on the cool stone, allowing my fingers to trace the lettering. “This is goodbye,” I whispered. “Thank you for everything we had and shared. You’ll always have a place here,” I touched that spot over my heart, “forever.” And with that, I kissed my fingertips then pressed them to the headstone, holding them there and just letting the tears silently flow.

Finally, after they had dried from my cheeks, I made my way back to the car and slipped inside. Alex handed me a tissue and I wiped my eyes, cheeks and nose.

“You okay?” He questioned, not moving to start the vehicle quite yet.

I only nodded, already feeling like another weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I knew from somewhere up in the heavens, wherever Hugh was at, that he was smiling down at me.

Alex shifted and leaned over, placing a kiss to my temple before sitting back and reaching for his seatbelt. “You ready to go?”

I cleared my throat before responding, “Yeah.”

He hesitated. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I looked to him, watching him with a mixed look of admiration and gratefulness. “Yeah.” I reached out and took his hand, drawing it to my mouth and pressing a gentle kiss to it. “I’m really okay.”

“Good,” he sounded relieved then finally started the car and put it into drive. “So, where to now?”

I straightened my shirt then pulled my own seatbelt over my chest and snapped it into place. “Anywhere but home; I’m not ready to see them yet.” ‘Or leave you’, I thought to myself.

“Okay,” he stated once we were driving along the path and heading for the exit. He reached over and took my hand, resting it on his leg. “We’ll go find something else to do.”

That sounded wonderful to me. As I relaxed back in the seat and watched out the side window at the headstones we passed, I thought back on the past couple years of my life. Sometimes, you wake up to a day that affects your whole life. A day that changes the way you think about everything and everyone. A day that changes things and you know nothing will ever be the same. That happened to me on April 18th 2007 and it happened to me again today.

~*~*~*~*~

That something else ended up being relaxing in Alex’s suite at the hotel, lying on the sofa with my head in his lap and his fingers stroking through my hair. I stared up at the creamy white ceiling and wiggled my bare toes, my feet propped up on the arm at the other end. It was just past dinner time and we’d pulled through the drive-thru of a Wendy’s on the way to the hotel. I was full again, but not as stuffed as earlier. And now I was just relaxing and trying to not think about my family that was probably worried sick about me. Maybe I should call them. My mom had left several messages on my phone, which I’d managed to avoid listening to until after I finished my Frosty.

“What’s wrong?”

Alex’s question cut through my thoughts and I brought my eyes to his face. “Just thinking about if I should call my parents; they’re worried sick, I’m sure.”

He played with the ends of my hair. “You might should.”

“What would I tell them?”

His eyes twinkled at me. “That you met some sexy man who has swept you off your feet and taken you away to his hotel room.”

I laughed and nudged his arm. “Oh yeah, right.”

“You could do it just to see what they say.”

I giggled then slowly sat up, swinging my feet to the floor. “I need to tell them something.”

“What I suggested.” He reached out and poked my side.

I jerked and grabbed at his hand. “I can’t tell them that.”

He laughed then leaned forward and kissed my neck. “Tell them that you’re with your friend and will be home later. They have no reason to worry and you’re perfectly safe.”

I snatched up my phone from the coffee table there and rose to my feet. “I’ll try; we’ll see how well it goes.” Then flipping it open, I pressed my mother’s memory and listened to it ring.

She answered on the second ring, “Hello?”

“Hey, Mom,” I greeted her, glancing over to Alex.

“Morgan? Where are you, honey? I’ve been trying to reach you all day.”

I wet my bottom lip. “I’m with a friend, Mom. I’m sorry I didn’t get your calls, we’ve just been busy.”

“Doing what? Who are you with? Your note was very vague. What time did you leave this morning? Your father was up at six and you were already gone.”

I chuckled low at her barrage of questions. “Just…doing things. I can’t stay at the house with everyone sitting around talking about Poppy all day, Mom. As much as I love you and I love him,” a tremor sounded in my voice, “but I just… I can’t do it.”

She sensed the tone of my voice. “Alright, that’s okay, honey. We were just worried about you.”

I rubbed my forehead and sank back down onto the couch, my shoulders sagging some as Alex reached over and smoothed his hand over my back. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

“It’s okay, baby. You’re an adult and you don’t have to answer to us.”

“I know, but I don’t want to worry you. I’m okay though.”

“Alright, Morgan.” I wasn’t sure if she really believed me.

I gave a nod and peeked to the phone. “I’ll be home later.”

“Tomorrow is Poppy’s visitation. It starts at six, but they want us at the funeral home by five.”

“I’ll be there, Mom. I’ll be home long before that. Tonight even.” My tone softened, “No worries, okay?”

She sighed through the phone. “Okay, baby. Just, be careful. I love you.”

I smiled. “I love you too. Bye.” Lowering the phone, I flipped it shut and looked to Alex.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad.”

“Not at all.” I shook my head and sank back fully into the back of the couch, stretching my legs out in front of me. “She’s dying to know who I’m with though and what we’re doing.”

He chuckled and slipped my phone from my hands, placing it back on the coffee table. “When do you want me to meet them?”

I met his gaze, feeling chills going through me at the way those eyes looked at me. “Um…when do you want to meet them?”

“Whenever you want me to.”

I studied him, just taking in everything I could; his eyes, the shape of his lips, his long lashes, the scar on his ear, how his brows moved slightly from his facial expressions.

“What?”

I smiled softly and reached a hand to his face, smoothing my fingers over his cheek. “The moment I met you, I stopped existing and started living.”

A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth and his hand reached up and caught mine. “The moment I met you, I knew you were exactly what I needed.”

“Really?” My eyes searched his face, a strange sensation entering my chest.

He gave a little nod and brushed some hair from my forehead. “Really. You were a mess; in tears with your hair all askew, but I knew in that instant that…you were everything I would ever need.”

The strange sensation inside my chest grew even more. “I….I was so lost and alone…and afraid. And you,” tears began to fill my eyes as I remembered that day, “didn’t give up on me. You….brought me back from the edge… you gave me direction and meaning again.”

His thumb wiped the tears from under my eyes. “I just pointed you in the right direction.”

I shook my head, feeling that sensation starting to squeeze my chest and cause more tears to spring to my eyes. “You…were everything I didn’t know I needed.”

“But you know now, right?”

I nodded and grabbed his hand, kissing his palm then his wrist. Inside, the pressure was filling my lungs and I knew I probably needed to say something, but at the moment I could hardly breathe.

“What are you thinking?” Alex questioned softly.

I watched him, that pressure spilling into the rest of my body and the strange feeling making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up straight. Suddenly, I knew what it was. I was in love with this man. That thought brought me crashing back to reality and I reared back from him, a look of fear crossing my eyes.

“Whoa, what’s wrong?” He held my hand firmly, not letting me escape. “Morgan?”

“I… I need to go,” the words stammered out and I tried to rise from the couch, but Alex still held my hand.

“What’s going on?” He tugged me back to a sitting position. “You’re suddenly freaking out. What happened?”

I just shook my head, having the strongest need to suddenly be out of that room and away from him.

“Morgan!” He grabbed my shoulders and forced our eyes to meet, a firm expression on his face. “What are you running from? Something you don’t want or something you’re afraid to want?”

I shrunk under his harsh gaze, biting my bottom lip to hold back any tears that may want to escape.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Alex continued when I didn’t give a verbal response, “because I’m thinking it too.”

That made my blood freeze and I gaped at him. “Wh…you…” the words were caught in my throat.

“Yes.” He nodded firmly. “Morgan, I-”

“Don’t say it!”

He blinked at the words that spilled from my lips, but didn’t let it faze him. “Yes.”

“No,” I shook my head, “you can’t.”

Alex lifted one brow as he watched me. “Why not, you do.”

“No.” I tried to rise again, but he pulled me back down.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

And then he was cutting off my next words with a kiss; one so hot that it scorched my blood and stole my breath away. It was demanding, but not forceful, and as his tongue invaded my mouth and claimed it for his own; I was pulled under and lost in all that was Alex. He made my head spin and I quickly lost all thoughts with our conversation. All that filled me was the need for more, the want for more and the desire for more.

My hands began to roam over his back and up into his hair and he pulled me closer, pressing our chests together. I could feel his hard chest and stomach against my own and it made my insides tremble. The growing need was getting stronger and I began to kiss him back with just as much want as he was giving me.

One of his hands held the back of my head firmly to keep our mouths together, the other began to smooth over my side, his thumb brushing the side of my breast. When I arched more against him, he took that opportunity to shift us and lay me back against the sofa, moving over me, our mouths never breaking contact.

My fingers curled into his shirt and inside my chest, my heart was beginning to beat so loud and hard I thought it was going to come right out my mouth. But I didn’t care about any of that, I only wanted more of what he was offering. And whatever he gave, I took.

And then as quickly as it started, it ended. Alex tore his mouth from mine, his chest giving ragged heaves against my own.

A throaty whimper sounded from me as he broke the kiss and I shivered, feeling my lips puffy and face flushed. I kept my eyes closed, trying to keep my mind from clearing and my thoughts from organizing.

“Let me make love to you.”

His words cut through me like a knife to butter and my eyes fluttered open, meeting his gaze. Chills shot down my spine and I could only squeak out a response, not even sure what I was saying.

“Is that a yes?” He placed a soft trail of kisses along my neck, his teeth nipping ever so lightly.

I found myself nodding my head and murmuring out the response he oh so badly wanted to hear, “Yes.”

And then he was lifting off me, taking my hands and helping me stand from the couch.

Inside, I felt like a ball of nerves. It had been years since I’d been with a man and Hugh had been the only man at that. Thoughts of not being good enough, or not doing the right thing or him hating it filled me and I nearly stopped walking.

But Alex urged me on, kissing my knuckles and letting those intense eyes of his bore right into me. “It’s going to be okay.”

For some reason, his words calmed me and I allowed him to guide me toward the bedroom. Once there, he pushed the door open then kissed my mouth softly. “You trust me, right?”

I could only nod, not able to find words at the moment.

“Good.” He offered up a comforting smile and touched my cheek. “Then just trust me, okay, baby?”

“Okay,” I whispered out and watched as he kissed my fingers then led me inside the bedroom, the door closing securely behind us.