Hours later I lay stretched out in a lounge chair on my balcony, just staring out into the night and hearing the waves crash upon the shore. Daisy was at my feet, curled into a ball, dozing. I watched her for a moment, thinking over how I’d feel if Daisy got cancer. I’d be scared to death. More so because I’d already lost a husband, I didn’t want to lose the only other precious thing I had left. Maybe that’s why I related to my beach angel so easily.

We had stayed, sitting in those chairs, neither speaking until they had brought Bernie back out. He was still wrapped in my sheet and I felt tears prick my eyes at how helpless he looked.

My forlorn companion had accepted him in his embrace and talked softly to him, promising lots of yummy treats and new toys, then together we’d headed for our vehicles.

I reached my Saturn first, and Daisy whined as I forced her into the car. She wanted to stay with Bernie.

I wasn’t sure what to say as I turned and faced him, reading the expression of hopelessness that covered his face. So I simply said if he needed anything, he knew where to find me.

He thanked me and I watched as he continued on towards his SUV. Then I slipped into my vehicle and was on my way.

Daisy watched out the back window the entire way home. Then she moped around, barely touching her dinner and curling up with me as I stretched out on the balcony.

I watched her then turned my attention back overhead, taking in the twinkling stars. One shot across the sky and I closed my eyes, making a wish.

Please heal Bernie.

It was simple yet it surprised me, and then I realized that I didn’t want anyone to ever have to go through what I had. A dog was nothing like another human, but the loss could be devastating.

Sitting up some, I reached over and grabbed my phone, dialing a number then holding it to my ear.

“Hello?” I was greeted with a sleepy voice.

“His dog is dying.”

“Wha…Morgan?”

I glanced towards the receiver. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

“Yes.” Dianna replied. “What time is it?”

“Like midnight I think. I’m sorry … I can let you go.”

“Well, I’m awake now. What’s up? Who’s dying?”

“His dog.”

“Whose dog?”

“Remember that guy I told you about…”

There was a pause. “The angel?”

“He’s not an angel and yes. Bernie is his dog.”

“Who the hell is Bernie?” She was so confused.

“His dog. Daisy’s dog-friend.” I explained, reaching and touching her head as she stirred a little.

“Daisy’s dog-friend is your angel’s dog? What a small world.”

“He’s not an angel.”

“How do you know?”

I sighed and pushed some hair from my face. “He’s as human as you and me.”

“Not all angels are spiritual ones. Some are very human.”

I ignored her. “Bernie has cancer.”

“Dogs can get cancer?”

“Yes. The vet found a lot of tumors and he’s running tests on them. The results should come back tomorrow.”

“Today.”

“What?”

“The results should come back today. It’s already tomorrow.”

My brow furrowed. “Are you trying to confuse me?”

She gave a sigh. “So, how did you find out about this?”

So I relayed my tale, starting with finding Bernie passed out in the yard, and ending with how Daisy was handling the situation.

Dianna listened without saying a word until I had finished.

“And you still don’t know his name?”

I blinked, caught off guard by that random question. “Uh…” Then it dawned on me that neither of us had introduced ourselves. In fact, we had hardly spoken after I had taken his hand and told him I wasn’t leaving. Words just hadn’t seemed right.

“I really need to meet this guy.”

I lifted a brow. “Why?”

“Well, either he’s so damn hot that you are rendered speechless each time, hence the forgetting to get his name. Or, every time he’s around, you go mute.”

I frowned. “I don’t go speechless or mute. It just…never comes up.”

“Maybe so.” She gave a yawn and I found myself echoing it. “So his dog is dying? That’s pretty sad.”

“Yeah it is…” I sighed and tugged my shirt down some. “I didn’t know what to say. Things like ‘it’ll be okay’ or ‘things get better’ are not something you want to hear when you’re going through something like that.”

“Sometimes just knowing someone is there with you is enough.”

I gave a little nod. “Right. I think it helped that I stayed with him.”

“Did you at least get his number?”

I eyed the phone, already seeing the wheels turning in her head. “Do not even take it there.”

“Where?”

“You know where.”

“Morgan,” Dianna chuckled low. “I was merely asking so you could call and check on the dog. He is Daisy’s dog-friend. You’re the one who went there with it.”

“I did not go anywhere.”

She chuckled again. “I think sometimes life has a way of working everything out on its own time.”

I think I wanted to knock her in the head with the phone. “Go back to bed, you’re talking gibberish.”

“Mmkay.” She sounded so amused.

I frowned. “Go to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Today.”

“What?”

“It’s already tomorrow.”

I just shook my head. “Good-night, Dianna.” Then I clicked the phone off and tossed it into the chair next to mine.

Whatever she had been implying, or not implying, made me frown. I didn’t even know the guy, how could there be any feelings there? He could be a serious nut job, or a psychopathic killer. Hell, I didn’t even know his name. How could she even begin to think that there was anything more than acquaintances and compassion for his situation involved?

I rolled my eyes at what she had brought up and pushed myself from the chair, Daisy lifting her head to watch me. Grabbing up the phone, I started back into the house with it. Whatever Dianna had been not suggesting was suddenly filling my head. I tried to push it away but it fought back and with a frown I fell backwards across my bed. We were nothing more than two people who happened to meet and share a sad encounter. He had needed someone, and not wanting him to feel alone like I felt, I had been that someone.

But something in the back of my head told me I was the one speaking gibberish.

~*~*~*~*~

Friday morning I went for a long run. Put my ipod into the athletic clip and strapped it to my arm, then tied on my tennis shoes and was out the door. Usually I took to the roads, but today I decided to run along the beach. Sometimes, when something was bothering me I’d just run. For some reason it helped to purge me and cleanse my soul. My feet pounding hard on the pavement, my chest heaving, the sound of my heart thudding in my ears; it was all soothing to me. And I’d come back feeling somewhat better.

I didn’t run for a long time after Hugh died. I didn’t have the energy, desire or need. My father had told me one time, after I’d settled in California, that I was still running, just not in the same sense. I had locked his words in the very farthest box in my mind. But that morning as the sun beat down on me, and my feet kicked up some of the hard packed sand, I wondered if maybe he was right. Had I run from Connecticut, my family, my entire life? I had only been trying to start over. And I didn’t want to be reminded of my dead husband every day, or have to continuously answer question upon question about how I was feeling or how I was coping, or how things were going. The six long months I did endure them had been excruciatingly painful.

A month ago I’d started running again. I’d woken up and had the sudden urge to dig out my cross trainers and get out there. Of course I didn’t get as far as I used to be able to. But now I was back to running three times a week and it was getting easier. I usually tried to get it in before work, but a few times I had to go in the early evening. Dianna went with me one time, then swore never again.

But that Friday, despite the diminishing lump on my forehead, I was at it again. As I ran, keeping my breathing even and my abs tucked in, I thought about my clientele and hoped they hadn’t minded when Zoe had called to reschedule my appointments for next week. I hadn’t gotten a phone call, so I assumed things were okay. I was supposed to show a house that afternoon, but now my calendar was wide open and I had nothing to do. I could take Daisy to the park, or I could go bother Dianna. I could meet up with Anna for lunch. I could clean my house, go grocery shopping, lie on the beach and tan. Zoe mentioned a vacation; I could drive up the coast.

I still hadn’t made my mind up when I returned home. Maybe I’d just watch TV all day or something.

Daisy greeted me as I headed into my house, and I left the sliding door open for her. She trotted out to do her business and I swiped a bottled water from the fridge, taking a long drink. Glancing to the time, I headed for the stairs and up them to get a shower and get dressed.

Thirty minutes later I came down the stairs to find Dixon Giles in my living room. He was standing at the fireplace looking over the pictures I had on the mantle.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

He whirled around upon hearing me, a guilty look covering his face. “Hey, sorry… um…your backdoor was open so I just kinda…slipped in.”

I frowned at him; he’d nearly given me a heart attack. “Have you not heard of using the bell?”

“I did. But when you didn’t respond, I became worried.”

“Well, did it occur to you that maybe I was busy?”

He shrugged like it hadn’t. “I was worried. You have a head injury, what if you were splayed out across the floor?”

I wasn’t going to argue with him. “Please don’t just come into my house again.” Crossing the room, I whistled for Daisy and watched as she trotted back in, eyeing Dixon all warily. Where the hell had she been when he’d first come into the backyard? Probably looking for lover boy; Daisy was no watchdog.

“Alright, I won’t. I apologize.” He watched the dog uneasily and I almost smirked.

“Thank you.” I rested my hands on my hips. “So what can I help you with?” The sooner this sleezeball left my house, the better.

“I was just stopping by to see how you were doing. We all miss you.”

I shrugged. “I’m doing okay. Tell everyone I miss them too.”

He gave a little nod. “Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good, but thanks.” I was waiting for him to lunge at me or something.

Dixon gave a little nod then glanced towards the fireplace. “So … I didn’t know you were married.”

I felt my breath catch. “Excuse me?”

He motioned towards the pictures neatly arranged on the mantle. “Your wedding photo.”

“That’s…you…. It….” I frowned. “You… should go; you’re going to be late.”

His dark eyes blinked slowly. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

I ignored him and headed for the front door, undoing the locks.

“Oh, I get it.” His tone became cynical. “A divorce, but you just can’t let go yet.”

In a flash, I whirled and stalked to him, my eyes blazing. “Shut up! You know nothing about me!”

He didn’t even bat an eye. “Such a shame. That’s so unhealthy, you know. I bet he’s remarried and every-”

But I cut him off when my palm connected sharply with his cheek, sending a crack through the room. “Get out! Get out of my house!”

Dixon grabbed his cheek, a red spot immediately appearing. “Fuck! You need to calm down.”

I yanked the door open. “Don’t tell me to calm down. Get out of my house.”

He frowned at me then moved past me and out onto the stoop. “You’re acting like a crazy bitch.”

I just glared at him, swinging the door shut so hard it caused the wall to shake.

He had some nerve. To come into this house without permission, look through my personal belongings then make rash judgments about things. And his attitude had shown his true personality. I always knew he was a sleaze. He should have been lucky the only thing I did was slap him when it fact, I wanted nothing more than to tear his hair out. If we ran into each other at work, he better watch out.

It wasn’t until I had locked the door again before I realized I was trembling.

Daisy nudged me leg and I glanced to her.

“What is it, girl?”

She moved past me and back to the living room, standing by the open patio door.

“Heh, yeah we need to close that.” I joined her then went about sliding the door shut and getting it locked. “The last thing we need is that asshole trying to come back in.”

She barked a response and for a moment I really thought she understood. Rather she did or not, she knew he was bad news and wanted him to stay out as well.

Least we agreed on that.

~*~*~*~*~

I got ready for bed relatively early. After Dixon had been kicked out, I’d ended up cleaning the house top to bottom. I’d always heard that when people were angry, they cleaned. And that turned out to be true. By the time I was finished, my shoulders ached, my back was sore, my hands scrubbed raw, but I fell a hell of a lot better. I relaxed in a bath, soothing my muscles and trying to wash the thoughts of the day away. I just wanted to forget about Dixon and his behavior. And make sure I was on my toes when I returned to work on Monday.

The steam from the water filled the bathroom and I rested my head back against the tub, my hair clipped up to keep it from getting wet. This was nice; I loved my bathroom. It was large, with a deep Jacuzzi tub and marble walk-in shower. Little round lights lined the vanity and the mirrors wrapped around, allowing you views from every angle. It was a safe haven and many nights I’d find myself relaxing in a bubble bath, seeking solace from the harsh world.

As I relaxed there, I thought back to the animal hospital. I had told him to call me if he needed anything and I wondered if he would. If he did, what could I even do? There wasn’t anything to say in that situation that they would even care to hear. Just being there was enough, Dianna had said. I could try that, but it might be a little awkward considering I didn’t know him. What was I even thinking; he had his own friends and people who could be there for him. He had only needed someone last night and I had filled in.

I pushed him, his dog, and the whole situation out of my head.

Three more weeks would be the second anniversary of Hugh’s death. I still wasn’t feeling any better than I had a year ago. As I swirled my toes in the water, I wondered what life would be like today if he were still here.

We’d be living in Connecticut, and he’d shovel the drive every time it snowed. By now we would have probably added to our family; a little boy, or girl, with his charming smile and my beautiful blue eyes. And on the weekends we’d all go to the zoo, or the park. I wondered how many children we would have had, where we’d have gone on our summer vacations. What kind of father he would have been…what kind of mother I would have been. Then I wondered if I’d ever have children. Or was I going to be alone the rest of my life?

And in the warmth of the bathroom, I felt a chill move through me.