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Author's Chapter Notes:

Much thanks to each and every one of you that has left me feedback since I started posting this fic. I really appreciate it and it really does motivate me to write more. I'm glad everyone seems to be enjoying the story and I hope you all continue to do so.

I was surprised so many of you like ketchup on your eggs lol, that's great though. Me? I don't even like eggs lol. Thanks for letting me know! Hope you'll keep the feedback coming. Enjoy the update! :)

 

The next couple of days passed smoothly. Alex did indeed come over for a couple hours on Sunday. We spent most the time outside on the patio watching Daisy chase butterflies then ordered some Chinese Takeout before he left to return home. He kissed me again just before heading out and it left me as breathless as that morning in his kitchen. I realized I wasn’t against his kisses, nor was I against him. I did know I wanted to take things slow; very slow. The last thing I needed was to rush into any kind of a romantic relationship when I was still trying to learn how to overcome my grief and move on with my life. And if I did have some freak-out moments and tried to push him away, something told me he wouldn’t be so easily swayed. It felt soothing to know that I would be allowed to handle this and heal in my own way, on my own time without the fear of him growing tired and moving on.

I realized I didn’t want him to move on.

That frightened me. We hadn’t known each other long, we were just getting to be comfortable around the other and starting to get to know one another in depth, but I knew I didn’t want him leaving.

“Well, you seem in better spirits today.” Anna perched herself on the edge of my desk.

It was Tuesday and I had just gotten off the phone with the Kyle Weatherly. Things were moving along perfectly for the purchase of their dream home and it would only be a matter of time before inspections were being done and we were drawing up contracts. The Martin’s, however, weren’t as fortunate. The bank hadn’t come through on their lien and so they had to start all over again. We had some appointments Thursday to see some new listings that had come over at the end of last week. I was still waiting to hear from Mr. Playboy; Peter Berkins. He was supposed to call this week with his decision on the one beach house we had found that seemed to fit what he was looking for. The Lord only knows if he’d make an offer. I was hoping.

“Mmhmm, I had a good weekend.”

“Really?” She arched her brows as a sly little grin formed on her lips. “What did you do?”

I shrugged. “Well, on Sunday, I just lazed around, but Saturday I went over to Catalina Island with a friend and spent the day there.”

“Oh yeah?” She watched me with a look I hadn’t deciphered yet. “Why didn’t you tell me this yesterday?”

I leaned forward and began to collect the papers for the Weatherly account. “You were out most the day showing houses. I think we only talked in passing.”

“True,” she was quiet for a moment, “so, who’s the friend?”

I blinked then glanced to my watch. “Crap, what time is it?”

“11:30.”

“Already? I’ve got to meet someone at noon across town. Shoot.” I quickly rose to my feet and grabbed up my bag.

“You’re not going to tell me who you spent Saturday with?”

“No, I’m late.” I rifled through my bag and pulled out my keys. “I’ll talk to you later though, kay?” Then without waiting for a response, I hurriedly strode towards the doors that would take me out to the parking lot and my car.

I hadn’t been trying to avoid Anna’s question. She would probably think so, but that wasn’t the case. I had a friendly lunch date with Andrew at noon and if traffic were as horrible as normal, I’d probably be ten minutes late. The time had completely escaped me.

It was rather convenient on my part that my friend’s questions had come when they had, I didn’t want to avoid her, but I didn’t want to tell her about Alex. Dianna was the only one that really knew anything about him and for the time being that’s how I wanted it to stay. I couldn’t lie to Anna though and she’d see right through my “just a friend” line. I was going to have to use the next couple of hours to think up some kind of truthful response.

~*~*~*~*~

“There you are.”

Andrew greeted me with a relieved expression as I was led to the table in the cozy little Bistro by the hostess.

“Yes, sorry I’m late. I got wrapped up with work.” I set my purse on the table and gave his hand a squeeze when he stood and stretched it towards me.

“It’s no problem, I was thinking traffic.” He placed a chaste kiss to my cheek then pulled out my chair. “Have a seat.”

I thanked him then smoothed my a-line skirt and slipped into the seat.

“So, how are you?” He questioned once we were both settled again and the server had stopped by to take our drink orders.

I nodded some and fiddled with the edge of the menu. “Doing good, thank you. How are you? How was New York?”

“I’m excellent,” He flashed a charming grin showing off his dimples, “and New York is New York, busy and bustling and wonderful.”

“How’s your project coming along?”

Andrew gave a chuckle and smoothed his tie. “It’s still there. Things got off to a rough start, but they’re beginning to settle.”

“Oh,” I made a little face then gave a nod, “well that’s good.”

“Yes it is.” He smiled again then thanked the girl that brought us our drinks. We requested another few moments to look the menu over and she moved off to check on another table.

“Guess that means we should look at the menu.” I laughed low and flipped it open, taking a minute to read over the selections. “I’ve never been here, what’s good?”

“Everything,” came his response. “Are you in the mood for a sandwich, salad…steak?” His piercing blue eyes glanced overtop his menu to me.

“Um… maybe a salad or a sandwich; nothing heavy or filling.”

“They have a really good turkey burger.” He pointed it out to me and I read the description over.

“I dunno…”

“Chicken Caesar Salad?”

“Hm…no.”

“The Ahi Tuna Salad?”

“No….” I rubbed my head. I wasn’t sure what I was in the mood for.

From across the table, Andrew chuckled low. “Are you even hungry?”

I glanced over to him. “Well, yeah… I just… I don’t know what I’m in the mood for.”

He studied me and it made me want to squirm in my chair. “Is something bothering you?”

“No.” I shook my head and tucked some hair behind my ear.

I wasn’t sure if he believed me or not, but he smiled and turned back to his menu. “They have good Panini’s.”

I read the selections over, but didn’t see anything that caught my eye. “I think I’ll do a wrap. Ooh, they have a roasted turkey one.”

“I’ve had that one, it’s very good.”

“Okay, that’s what I’ll have.” Satisfied with finally making a decision, I set my menu down and leaned back in the chair. “What are you going to get?”

Andrew blinked some then gave a laugh that made me smile. “I dunno yet. I’ve been so caught up in finding something you’ll like I forgot all about myself.”

I giggled a little bit. “I’m sorry.” And then I was flipping the menu open once more and reading it over. “Okay, let’s see here… what are you in the mood for?”

“I think I want the fish tacos. I had started to read about them before you arrived.”

I wrinkled my nose in a cute manner. “Fish tacos. That doesn’t sound very appealing.”

He gave a light hearted laugh. “They’re delicious. They come with salsa, sour cream, Spanish rice.”

“Ew, but fish with Mexican styled food? How is that good?”

“I’m not sure,” he chuckled then gave a shrug, “it just is.”

I let it drop and soon we ordered the meals. Andrew told me about the different issues he was facing at work with the new project while we waited for the food to be prepared. After it had been served, I talked about the three clients I had been busy over the last week with. He laughed as I filled him in on Peter Berkins and then he asked if he had hit on me yet. Thank goodness he hadn’t, or I wouldn’t be able to help him. He’d be finding himself a new realtor, or a sexual harassment lawsuit, or quite possibly, both.

After the plates were cleared away, and we were relaxing in that ‘after lunch’ atmosphere, Andrew leaned back in his chair and smoothed his tie, just watching me with those piercing eyes.

“So, other then your clients, what’s been going on with you?”

I lifted my brows. “What do you mean?”

“I’m assuming your whole life doesn’t revolve around work.”

“Oh,” I chuckled and shook my head, “not at all.”

He gave a low laugh of his own and watched me with amusement. “So, what else have you been doing?”

I tilted my head and thought back over the previous week. “I’ve spent some time with some friends, went to the beach, tried out this seafood place over in Calabasas, went to Catalina Island on Saturday and…” I shrugged some, “have just been around. I don’t have a very exciting life.”

He lifted his brows. “You want an exciting life? How about coming out to New York this weekend and joining me at this dinner thing the Mayor is having.”

I blinked, “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

I think my eyes grew three sizes. “You… you want me to fly to New York and go to dinner with you and the mayor?” I had thought we were just friends.

Andrew remained casual about the whole thing. “You said you had a boring life. That’d make it a little bit exciting.” He held up his hand, using his fingers to gesture ‘a little bit’.

I wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. “I…that’s….”

“You’d have a good time. You could come Friday afternoon and the dinner is Saturday night. We could go sightseeing during the day and then have brunch somewhere Sunday before you head back home.”

I did not know this man well enough to fly across the country for a weekend with him. “I don’t know, Andrew … I have work, and that’s so sudden. Besides, where would I stay? Last minute flights are expensive. Dinner with the mayor of New York sounds like a serious thing, I wouldn’t have anything to wear appropriate enough. And last time I checked we were just friends…what you’re suggesting sounds a little more serious than that.”

He reached across the table and took my hand. “It’s as serious as we make it. I know you want to just be friends and that’s all this dinner would be, a friendly dinner.”

I still wasn’t sure I could agree to something like that. “I… dunno,” a sigh, “I just told a friend I couldn’t go to the Grand Canyon with them because it was too sudden and I didn’t know them well enough.” My eyes searched his. “New York is a lot farther than the Grand Canyon.”

“True, but you’re from Connecticut. You’ve probably been to New York a hundred times. And you could see your family if you wanted to instead of sightseeing.” He ran a hand over the front of his shirt. “As for the expenses, I’d pick up the tab and no complaints from you,” He pointed a finger at me as he spoke that last part. “Friend to friend and,” he chuckled low, “I need a date for this dinner…even if it’s just a friendly date.”

I rubbed my forehead; I just wasn’t comfortable with this idea. “I don’t know, Andrew.”

He wet his bottom lip and gave a little nod. “That’s okay. I understand if you’re not comfortable with the whole idea.”

“I think we just need to be closer friends before you start paying for me to fly to New York for a weekend.”

He chuckled. “I really need a date for this dinner thing. I have a friend in New York that was going to go, but her mother is having surgery and she had to fly home to be with her.”

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” He squeezed my hand then finally let it go. “I’ll find someone though.”

“Of course you will.”

“Yeah,” he watched me with a little grin, “and next time I have an affair to attend to here in LA, I’m calling you.”

I returned his grin with one of my own. “Well, next time you do, I’ll go with you.”

He leaned forward and took the bill the server had set down. “I’m holding you to that.”

I giggled softly and watched as he paid the bill, refusing money from me, then together we headed from the restaurant and bid our goodbyes before parting ways.

It was on the way back to the office that I realized I still didn’t know what I was going to tell Anna.

~*~*~*~*~

“So, who’d you go to Catalina Island with?”

She had cornered me at my desk just before five. I thought she must have forgotten about that question because she hadn’t tried to get any answers since I had gotten back from lunch. And now I knew why; she wanted me to think she had forgotten so I wouldn’t try to high tail it out of there or avoid her. She was sneaky, that’s for sure.

“Why are you so curious?” I remained calm and began clearing my desk of papers.

“Was it a date?”

Darn it. “Um….maybe.”

“Maybe? Ooh, Morgan! Who are you dating?”

I sighed and set the folder in my hands onto the desk. “Keep your voice down, I don’t need the entire office hearing about my personal life.”

Anna chuckled and lowered her voice, leaning in towards me. “Sorry.” She waited just a moment then spoke again, “So, who was this date with? I thought you weren’t really ready to get back into the swing of things.”

“I’m…” I wasn’t sure how to explain it. “Well… I’m not really, but… this isn’t like… normal dating. We’re…um….” What were we? I didn’t even know.

She watched me, waiting for me to continue my explanation.

I sighed and rubbed my head. “I don’t know what we are, but we went to the Island on Saturday and spent the day.” I wasn’t telling her about the rest of the date.

“What do you mean; you don’t know what you are? You went on a date, right? You’re dating. Unless…you don’t like him and want to see him again?” She chuckled low at that. “Was it a bad date?”

“No,” I shook my head and swiveled in my chair some, “the date went well and we got along great.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “Are you worried because you don’t think you’re ready to date yet?”

“A little bit.”

“You just take it one date at a time, Morgan,” her head tilted as she spoke. “Don’t let him rush you into anything and if you need to space them out …do so. Keep the ball in your court.”

“He wants to know what happened with Hugh. What kind of guy he was.”

“Does he know you were married?”

I nodded, remembering how I’d just let it all out that night on his couch.

“Does he know Hugh has passed?”

Another nod.

“And now he wants details?”

“Right.”

“How do you feel about telling him?”

This is where my emotions became mixed. “I don’t know. I want… him to know, but I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it. I don’t think I want him to see me that vulnerable and…hurting. I don’t want to give him the power to hurt me more. Or to know what could tear me apart completely.”

Her eyes searched my face. That was something I appreciated so much about Anna, she may have no idea what was going on, but she never dug deep enough to make me spill. When I was ready to tell her, I would and until then she’d wait. I knew she had to be madly wondering who this guy was and where we met, but she wouldn’t ask until I volunteered the information on my own.

“Do you think he would do that?” She finally questioned in a gentle manner.

I wet my bottom lip and shook my head. “No.”

Her smile was a comforting one. “Then what are you waiting for?”

I mulled it over in my head; the new realizations Anna had helped me with were making my chest feel a bit lighter. “What if something happens? What if we get close and then…he’s taken away too?” I could feel tears threatening to appear in my eyes. The thought of having to go through that heartbreak and grief and all the emotions was just too much. I couldn’t do it again.

“Aww, Morgan…” she sighed and reached out, touching my shoulder. “God never gives us what we cannot handle. If you really truly could not go through something like that again then it won’t happen.

“I’m not handling it now and he did it.”

She pressed her lips together and just watched me, gathering her thoughts before speaking again.

“You’re surviving, Morgan. You’re coming through that horrible tragedy slowly, but surely. Yes, you’re going to have scars, but it really is making you a stronger person; as cliché as that sounds. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. And now you’re being molded and changed into this new Morgan, who can use her past experiences to help herself and those around her. You’re learning things about yourself you didn’t know, you’re learning things about people that you did not know, and you’re learning things about life in general that you did not know. Horrible things happen to people every day, but with every tragedy comes something beautiful and amazing and it may take awhile to see it, but it’s there.”

I listened to her, realizing that she was right about everything. I was left scarred and damaged, but I was a stronger person now and I was a different Morgan than before Hugh’s death. And I could take my experiences and the lessons I had learned, take the horrible tragedy and do nothing, sit on it and wallow in my misery, or I could take the situation and make the most of it, use it to help others. I wasn’t entirely sure what the beautiful thing that had come out of losing my husband was yet, but I certainly hoped I figured it out soon.

“You’re right.” My eyes met her own.

She gave a nod, keeping her tone gentle and soft, “I know. And I can tell there’s something going on with you about this guy. I don’t know him, but I know that you wouldn’t allow yourself to be involved with someone that wasn’t right for you. I say, take that blind leap of faith and go for it. Tell him what happened to you, let him know and come into your world. Let your walls down, Morgan. You may find it’s easier than you think. Besides, you may find out what you’re leaping into is more wonderful than where you jumped from.”

’It’s easier than you think.’ Her words echoed in my ears. ’What you’re leaping into is more wonderful than where you jumped from.’

Was she right?

There was only one way to find out.