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Chapter 45


One morning, I woke up thinking everything that had happened was just a dream.

Of course, I don’t get dreams like that often these days. Reality does hit at some point or another. Because I was an actor – wanted to be, I mean - I was never big on reality. Avoidance was freaking awesome that way. That’s how I got into it, anyway. I wanted to escape the crap at home, so I’d pretend to be someone from TV or movies, like Star Wars, the best movie ever. I wanted to pretend to be anything that wasn’t me. That never changed.

When you make avoidance your life, it’s hella hard to let that way of coping go. But now, avoidance gets you killed. Reality like this overrides old habits dying hard. “Do or die” takes on new meaning these days.

It’s like this now, to quote the mighty Yoda (Star Wars. Well, I guess I’m the new world’s pop culture expert!)… “Do or do not. There is no try.”

And you know what I’ve noticed? You tend to live up to that when you’ve got no damn choice. And you cling to whatever life raft you have. Or whatever person you have, and you keep him or her as close to you as you can. You open up to them in ways you don’t with any of the others you come in contact with.

Everyone here, it seems they’re closest to the person they ran into first. I think it’s because that was the person they had to depend on for everything, the person they instinctively clung to, if that makes any sense. It’s true for almost everyone.

Except AJ, but AJ’s just weird anyway.

It’s true for me.


P.S. (Wait, do you P.S. in journal entries? Note to self: Ask someone.) Song quote of the entry! I think I’ll put in one for every entry from now on, so I can try to keep the songs from history alive. At least till I can’t remember anymore songs. Maybe after that, it can be movie quotes or something. Genius like that can’t be forgotten.

“You stumbled in and bumped your head
If not for me then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I’m alive and well
Will you be there a-holding my hand
I’ll keep you by my side
With my superhuman might
Kryptonite”

- Three Doors Down, “Kryptonite”


Tuesday, April 17, 2012
1:20 p.m.


“The storm’s cleared up today,” he heard her say, as he fed Spunky some dog food they’d gone looking for in the pet supplies section. At least the fact that they’d hidden in a Target had come in handy – no having to hunt for anything they needed. Nick’s eyes skipped over to Riley, who was watching the doors intently, while keeping carefully obscured by the racks. It was so strange to him, hiding in the Target. The place was so empty and quiet, nothing like it should be. Random carts were left overturned, some empty, others with various items inside. His eyes went back to her; she’d been tense throughout the past couple days. Beyond the zombie stress, he knew. That was what frustrated him already; she was always on guard with him, even when she thought she wasn’t. It was easily infuriating when their lives literally depended on each other.

“That’s good. Maybe now they won’t smell us.”

“No, I think the opposite happened.”

“What do you mean?” She had his full attention now.

“Rain tends to wash away everything, so smells become more enhanced, in a way. All the odors death brought are gone, beyond the rotting corpses roaming around, obviously. All smells of humanity are out the window.” She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, her eyes not fully meeting his.

A sigh released from his chest, as he nodded. “You’re saying they can probably smell us better now.”

“Pretty much.”

“That would explain it then.”

“Explain what?” she asked, as he reached down to scratch Spunky’s head, his gaze still fixed on Riley. You’d think she was asking the weather, from the casualty of her tone, yet in her eyes, the fear was clearly written in bold print. Her hands seemed like they had minds of their own, because in the smallest of ways, they couldn’t stay still. They’d tap or scratch, or, as in the current moment, clench and unclench.

“The moans are louder, like there’s more. You haven’t noticed?”

“I try to block out the moans. They screw with my head too much. It’s harder to try and forget that…”

He let her leave her thought unsaid. Nick knew what she was saying. He felt the same way himself. The moans did something to you. It was why, after Sunday night, he’d gone and found one of those white noise makers, stuck in batteries, and played it just to drown out the moans. Anything was better than those. And he used to be a man who hated noise of any kind as he tried to rest. How quickly things had changed.

“… I know, but I think there’s more out there wandering around, getting random whiffs of us, than there used to be.”

“Now there’s something I just wanted to hear. Why, thank you, Nick; that just made the sun shine that much brighter!” Sarcasm dripped heavily from her voice, like the statement had been marinating in it all day, waiting for that moment.

“So how did you get that scar on your stomach?” he decided to ask, having wondered that since she’d mistaken him for a zombie the day before, but forgotten to ask. For some reason, the question took the opportunity to come right back to him. Not to mention, it forced the discussion to make an about face.

“…Why do you want to know?”

He shrugged, as he started walking amongst the racks, back to their makeshift camp. Riley followed behind with Spunky between them, trotting happily. She rolled her eyes at his silent, yet telling response and remained quiet. He glanced back with a slight smirk, glad he’d been able to change the subject in such a smooth manner. They’d return to it, he was sure. Nick felt they both knew that they couldn’t remain in their current spot much longer, but, for the moment, he wanted denial. Just for the moment.

“I’ll tell you how I hurt my head; how about that?”

She paused. Her hands started to twist again, unbeknownst to her. Birds attached to wrists. Nick almost chuckled aloud at the image in his head that followed the thought. Nick’s gaze kept on her, however, while he waited for her response. His mind ran though other tactics if this one didn’t work; his tongue ran across his lips in a thoughtful manner. After a few minutes, she lifted her blue-eyed stare to meet his dead on.

“Fine.”

They strolled over to their spot and sat somewhat comfortably upon the many sleeping bags. Spunky curled up against Nick, resting her golden head upon his lap, keeping her eyes open for signs of danger. It made Nick smile at the reminder that his faithful companion was still with him, that she had managed to survive, despite being in the house with his toddling, undead half-brother. He shook his head, as if the physical action could actually take the thought away. While lost in his thoughts, he noticed Riley ripping open a bag of Doritos and opening a Pepsi from their food pile, saying nothing, as she herself was lost within her mind.

“Okay… so…”

“Look, I got it about a year ago.”

Nick smirked at her, waiting for her to continue. They had to pass the time somehow, and, to be honest, trying to get her to talk about anything personal was like pulling teeth. So he wasn’t going to let up just yet. He grabbed a Twinkie and ripped it open, wondering idly if they really did last forever. Seemed like they’d find out now, wouldn’t they? He stuffed the Twinkie into his mouth, grinning at her, his mouth filled with the golden pastry. She laughed, and he smiled more sincerely, after swallowing, of course. He had to admit, there was one beauty to the end of the world: it gave him a chance to start over. She didn’t know him as the loser he used to be. No one did – if there was anyone else left – and it felt good. It was just tragic that the price was so high.

“…And?” he nudged, when she didn’t continue, not wanting to ponder this sort of subject any longer.

“…Maybe a little less. I was driving along the highway, not paying attention ’cause I was watching the rain and talking to my boss on my phone. It was about this new assignment about the war, and I really wanted it, even though I knew who it was probably going to go to. I was so focused on the rain and the call… well, I didn’t see this car coming. If I had, it wouldn’t have happened. I could’ve avoided it.”

“You veered off your side?”

Riley shook her head, brushing her hair out of her face. “Not me. This stupid drunk sorority girl had and was heading for me straight on. I didn’t notice till I glanced up seconds before. Thank God I at least did that. Probably why I’m still here. I veered away immediately, but not enough. I wasn’t wearing my seatbelt cause I’d been on the phone when I got in my car. I cared only about my career, screw everything else. Just how I am. I went through the windshield, and it tore up my stomach like hell. I’m lucky my ass wasn’t paralyzed.”

“What about the college girl?”

“She had her belt on, and she came out better than me. In fact, she sobered up damn quick and, once she was able to get out, came to help me. That’s how I know she was in a sorority; it was on her sweatshirt.”

“I don’t get why you didn’t wanna tell the story. It’s not that bad.”

“It is when I finish. You know what my thought was when I thought I was gonna die? It was, I can’t die. I haven’t really made it as a reporter yet, not the way I want to. So I can’t die. It wasn’t of my family or friends. No, it was my damn career. And now… after… everything… it messes me up, Nick. I was given a reality check before everyone became fucking zombies. Did I listen? No, and now it’s too damn late.”

“You’re human. That’s all it means.”

She rolled her eyes at him, blowing a puff of air at a stubborn lock of hair that didn’t wish to leave her face. “I know how I was, and look what I got for it. I was happy when the damn war started; it helped my career. I tossed away everything that mattered for something that doesn’t mean shit anymore. That’s something I won’t forget anytime soon. I’m a selfish bitch, but I’m not stupid. Forget it, though.”

“Riley-” he tried. He knew it was hard, living with regrets, with no chance of redemption because everyone in the world you loved was gone. There was so much Nick knew he could have done to try and bring his broken family back together, and now it could never be. Thoughts like that, they haunted a person. He’d wasted his life, and now he’d been given a chance to start over without a stigma. Hadn’t they all? Within the darkest of clouds, could there really be a silver lining? Or was he just being selfish, too?

“Your turn to talk.”

“See, you think yours is bad. Heh. I got mine from a bar fight.”

“A bar fight? You? Seriously?”

He felt his teeth grind against each other. “Yes, me. Seriously.”

“Sorry, you just don’t look the type. At all. Especially since you said you were trying to be an actor.”

“I am the type. It was some frat boy, and he pissed me off. I was drunk beyond reason, so I started hitting him. He got the best of me, and last thing I saw was a stool coming at me. Shithead got me upside my own head, and I ended up in the hospital with a concussion. You were right when you said it looked like someone was trying to kill me; he was drunk as hell, too, dude. My last two days in the ‘normal’ world were spent unconscious. I wonder if my own family even gave a shit about where I was those two days.” He gave her a somewhat bitter smile. “I’m no better. We’re all human.”

She digested this and stood, finishing off her soda and tossing the bottle aside the now half-empty bag of chips. He watched Riley for a response and, not surprisingly, she didn’t give him one. Rather, she changed the subject. “Speaking of being human, I had a thought. Maybe we should try and find a radio.”

“No power.”

Riley rolled her eyes at him. “No shit; it’s called batteries. The whole country may not be like this. We can see if there’s, like, an emergency broadcast or something. Hell, we’re alive; we can’t be the only lucky bastards out there.”

Nick nodded. He got to his feet, and Spunky whined at her pillow moving without her approval, before getting up as well. “You have a good point.”

“I know I do.”

“Modest, huh?”

“Always.”

The two walked down towards the electronics department, neither saying much. It seemed like both felt they’d said too much before. Nick beamed down at Spunky, trotting faithfully between them with no worries at all. How nice that had to be.

First radio they found on display, Nick pulled off the shelf and checked the back. “D batteries.”

“How many?” Riley called out, as she jogged over to them.

“Six!”

Two packages of batteries were tossed his way within moments. Setting the radio down quickly, he ran to catch them, stumbling in the process. He fell to the floor with a thud, sliding a bit across the linoleum floor, yet the batteries landed in his hand, the way he’d wanted them to. She ran back over and chuckled. “Sorry, I should’ve just brought ‘em over.”

He looked up at her sheepishly, trying not to wince. That hurt more than he’d like to admit. “Might’ve helped.”

Riley held out a hand. He gripped it and let her help him up. “Let’s pop those suckers in and see what we get.”

As they did so, Nick looked back at her. “Wait, we know Florida is probably a dud. How we gonna know if anyone’s alive if we can’t hear it on Florida radio?”

“National Emergency Broadcast System. In times of a nationwide crisis, they can do a country-wide broadcast from any major base. So we should be able to pick it up if anyone is doing that. That’s the only chance we have.”

“God bless our paranoid government.”

“Exactly.”

Turning the knobs, Nick slowly scanned through the stations. “Nothing… more nothing. Static, there’s a change. Back to nothing…”

“Try AM.”

“Nothing times a million…”

“This-this is…”

“Go back! I heard something!”

“Nothing…”

“Nick! Back!”

Nick jerked the dial backwards, and through the static, a human voice suddenly crackled out of the speakers.

“This is Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Richardson, of the United States Air Force, stationed at MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa, Florida. I am urging any survivors of the catastrophic events that have claimed our country to make their way here, to Tampa. I wish I could tell you that the base is free of the living dead…”

“But I bet you can’t,” Nick heard himself say, knowing that kind of luck was impossible.

“It isn’t.”

“Thought so.”

“Shhh!”

“But we do have the means to get rid of them. Weapons. Supplies. All the resources we need to survive on. There are other survivors here at MacDill. I repeat: There are survivors here…”

“Well that settles that,” Nick said, turning off the radio. “You were right.”

“But is it really any better than our current situation?” Riley questioned, leaning against one of the shelves, wringing her hands as she kept her eyes on him.

“Supplies.”

“We have those.”

“Weapons.”

“We make do.”

“Theirs are better. Military base, more people. Besides, remember earlier, like you said? They can smell us better. Better to leave now than when they eventually break in here. You know it’s gonna happen.”

Riley stayed quiet as he stepped closer to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. A simple gesture. “I know. I just don’t want to go out there,” she explained, her gaze shifting down. Spunky barked loudly, as if in agreement with Riley. He reached out, tilting her chin upwards towards him.

“Better we go on our terms, than on theirs.”

***


“Are you ready?”

They were in the clothing department yet again. The two had divided to pack up supplies in the backpacks they’d grabbed back in sporting goods. Food, water, each a set of clothes, basic light essentials, just in case they didn’t get to the base as soon as they’d like. They may not get lucky twice and get stranded in supply heaven the way they had in the Target. He glanced at Riley. Her hair was now tied back, her hoodie on, paired with tight jeans, and she had a determined look on her face. Her crowbar was gripped tightly in her hands, her knuckles almost white. He was likely holding his battle axe just as firmly.

“Of course.”

“First car we find.”

Spunky barked excitedly.

“Yep.”

“Don’t fight unless necessary, Riley.”

“No shit.”

“Let’s go.”

They headed for the door. From their demeanor, one would think they were just done shopping for the day. Up went the large gate, and they peered through the doors, watching the ghouls roam the street in search of any prey. Prey they smelled, but couldn’t find. The two looked at each other, nodded, and burst through the door. They raced out into the parking lot, looking around helplessly at all the cars. Nick screamed with joy as he saw what he needed just lying on the pavement: a keychain, and hanging from it, a small keyless entry remote for a car. “YES!”

Riley was slamming her crowbar through a zombie’s skull. Spunky knocked over another, growing furiously. “What?”

“Keys!” Nick yelled victoriously as he held them up, running over towards her.

“Sweet! Push the remote then!”

“I am!” he obliged, then blinked when he realized their latest problem. “Shit.”

“Now what?!” she said, as she turned to him. “Nick! Behind you!”

Jumping forward as a zombie lunged, Nick swung his axe around, almost slicing the head clean off its neck. However, just a thin layer of tissue and muscle held, leaving the head hanging from the neck like a door hinge. The body stood for a moment before crumpling to the ground.

“We have a problem.”

“Really now? I thought all these fucking zombies were just good exercise for us. Of course we have a problem!”

Sometimes he quite liked Riley, and other times, she drove him crazy with her neverending sarcasm. “I mean another problem!”

“What then? And can we make this quick before more reach us? They’re slow, but they DO move.”

“Can you tell what car this goes to?” he asked, shoving the keys in her face. That was when it dawned on her; he saw it in her eyes as the realization hit.

“…No.”

“Yeah, see, we have a problem.”

“Well, let’s start testing cars.”

They ran towards the first car they spotted. It was a nice blue truck, a Ford, even. Nice, sturdy… it wouldn’t do too badly against any undead they spotted on the road. Nick pushed the unlock button, and they lunged for the doors, but neither would budge.

“Damn,” he cursed, as they went to the next one. Luckily for them, the parking lot wasn’t completely packed. Nick knew they’d be screwed if it was. As the undead army formed around them, a circle growing ever smaller as they closed in, Nick and Riley went from car to car, trying their luck, failing with each and every try.

“Fuck it!” Nick yelled. “Let’s just hotwire a car.”

Riley turned, as they came to the next car. “Do you know how to hotwire a car, genius? ’Cause I sure as hell don’t.”

At that, Nick looked a bit sheepish, as he felt his anger simmer down a bit. “…No.”

“Okay then.” She tried the handle of the next one. Nick didn’t think it’d be this car anyway. It was a bright pink Volkswagen Beetle convertible. The white top was down, and the car was covered in yellow flower decals. It felt like the most ridiculous car he set eyes upon in a long time.

So, in the end, of course it was the car the remote key belonged to. Riley cheered as the door opened in her hands. The two tossed their bags into the backseat, where Spunky hopped as well, while Nick jogged around to the passenger side. He tossed her the key he still held in his hand. “I can’t believe this.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“It’s a fucking Barbie car!”

“You wanna just walk to that damn base, then?”

“No, I’m good.”

Riley nodded as she started the car. “Good. Get the damn top up while I get us out of here.” She floored it, and the car lunged forward on its way out of the parking lot.

They were surrounded, and soon she’d have no choice but to hit the zombies straight on – an option Nick really didn’t want her to use without at least having the top on. Of all the cars, this was likely the worst protection possible. Stupid piece of shit Barbie car! his mind screamed, as he kept trying the switch for the automatic top that refused to go up.

They were inches away, her foot flooring the gas, as they raced towards too many zombies to count. Riley shot a glance towards Nick. “The TOP, Nick… any day now.”

“I can’t get it to fucking go up!”

“Do it manually then, before we have corpses falling in the car!” she screamed, as he reached over his seat, tugging on the top with all his might. Spunky was running from window to window, barking and growling wildly from both the craziness and the dead beings wanting to consume them.

“Nick!”

“Go UP, you piece-of-shit car!”

He was thrown forward on the first impact. As he was still holding the top, it was tugged forward with him. Nick landed in his seat, breathing a sigh of relief, until his ears registered Riley’s screams. He looked up, and stuck in the top was a skinny blonde zombie. She’d have been pretty if alive, he knew. Her body looked like it was once well-kept, her pale violet, spotted breasts popped through a torn, skimpy shirt. Unable to reach them, the zombie moaned and swiped at them, staring at them with glassy blue eyes.

“Damn, if she was alive, I would’ve done her.”

Smack! He felt Riley’s hand slap him upside the currently uninjured part of his head. “Are you fucking kidding me?! Get her out!”

Coming to his senses, he reached for his axe and slammed it atop her small, golden head. Spots of brown blood spurted out at him before the zombie fell still. Nick reached up and shoved the dead girl out of the roof, pulling it shut completely as his head almost hit it from the bump the body caused when Riley ran it over. He gave Riley an impish grin. “What?”

‘If she was alive, I would’ve done her?’ Unbelievable. She had no brains, Nick.”

“Only cause I slammed an axe into them.”

“Yeah, and it’s not like a lot came out.”

“She was still hot,” he joked.

“And dead; don’t forget dead,” Riley reminded him, keeping her eyes firmly on the road. Still, he saw the smile creep up along her face, despite herself. Nick chuckled as he glanced back at his golden retriever, who’d settled down comfortably in the backseat now that the chaos had dissipated a bit. Reaching into the back, he rifled through his bag and pulled out a clear, thin, plastic case. He took out a CD, something Riley hadn’t used in ages, and popped it into the CD player, a rarity to find in cars those days. He watched as recognition lit up beneath her dark blue eyes.

“It’s close to midnight, and something evil’s lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze, as horror looks you right between the eyes
You’re paralyzed
‘Cause this is thriller…”


“Are you kidding me?”

Nick simply grinned at her, running a hand through his mussed blonde tresses casually. Her look of disbelief was priceless, even in the given situation. She couldn’t keep looking at him in surprise, as she had to watch the roads to avoid overturned cars, traffic jams, and such. He shrugged, as he turned up the volume. “I spotted it as we gathered up supplies. Come on, you gotta have a sense of humor when everything goes to shit.”

“You. Are. Something. Else.”

“And how can you not grab Thriller? It’s a classic!”

“Yes… but…”

“But nothing! We’re living the music video! When I saw it, I knew it was essential to have the music.”

Now she was laughing, her eyes sparkling amusedly at him, as they sped down the road. “Like I said, Nick, you are something else.”

“That’s what I’m told.”

“But trust me, I’m glad you are.”

“Thanks, Riley.”

“No problem. But Nick?”

“What?”

“Next time you find keys… make sure it’s not to a damn convertible, will you?”

He laughed along with her. Nick knew they were both in lighter spirits as they got further away from the Target. Neither could help themselves. The two kept beaming at each other in ways Nick felt they hadn’t felt free to do before. He knew now that they weren’t alone. It was the first sign of hope they’d found, among all the signs of the hell their world had become almost three days before. He felt like celebrating, and damn if he wasn’t going to show it.

“Cause this is thriller, thriller night
Girl, I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try
Thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, thriller!”


“Nick, do you really need to sing along?”

“Well… yeah…”

For now, that was all Nick needed, as the small pink Beetle made its way closer to what would soon become their new home.

***
Chapter End Notes:
Happy Halloween! :-)