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Chapter 66


I’ll never feel safe again. I realize that now.

Prior to this year, I’d never suffered a major tragedy in my life. I’d never been in a life or death situation. Being a military wife, I’d known plenty of others who had, but never myself. Then I lost the baby, and for the first time, I knew the full meaning of grief. And then the zombies rose, and I knew fear.

Now I know what it’s like to try to overcome that fear, to try to go on with life and pretend that all is normal, and to fail. The truth is, although life has gone on for a select few of us, nothing will be normal again, not even when we try to make it so. I wouldn’t say it was easy for us to be lulled into a false sense of security, but somehow, it happened. We’d been living outside the church for a month, and we truly believed that the base was clear, that it was secure. As long as we stayed within its walls, the undead couldn’t get us.

We were wrong.

Inside the base, we tried to find things to do to keep ourselves sane, to keep our lives as normal as possible. We discovered ways to have fun and forget our grief and our fear, if only for awhile.

We were naïve.

Even on the base, zombies were still a threat. And now I know that, for as long as the dead walk the earth, they’ll continue to hunt us.

We are vulnerable.



Sunday, July 8, 2012
Week Twelve

Gretchen wasn’t really an outdoorsy person, nor was she the type of woman who felt comfortable flaunting her figure in a bathing suit, but even she was looking forward to a day at the beach.

She enjoyed the ride in the back of the pick-up truck, feeling the wind whip through her hair and the sun beat down on her bare back and arms. In one of the houses on base, she’d found a swimsuit that fit her, and she wore it under a pair of shorts for the ride to the beach. She knew she didn’t look nearly as good as Riley, who sat across from her in a cute bandeau bikini that showed off her athletic body, but in this new, undead world, she didn’t really care.

Brian and Nick were in the cab, and once they’d pulled the pick-up into an empty parking lot, they turned off the engine and eagerly jumped out. They came around back to lower the tailgate and grab the supplies they’d brought – a cooler with drinks and a little picnic lunch, some towels, and a beach umbrella they’d borrowed from one of the houses – while Gretchen and Riley climbed down from the truck bed. Gretchen looked around; they were at the very tip of the peninsula on which the base was located, and she’d never been that far. To her left was a small marina, packed with boats, and to her right, a wide strip of beach, sprinkled with palm trees and a few little pavilions. Out in front of her, stretching all the way to the horizon, was water. Technically, it was just Tampa Bay, but it might as well have been the open ocean, for as far as she could see.

“This looks awesome,” said Nick, a big grin on his face.

Riley nodded. “I can’t believe we’ve been here this whole time and never come down here.”

“I know! Man, I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without going out on the ocean.”

“I can’t wait to get in the water,” Gretchen chimed in. The sun was starting to become uncomfortable; she could feel it baking her skin. The water looked invitingly cool and refreshing.

“Well, let’s go then!” Like a little kid, Nick shouted, “Last one in’s a rotten egg!” and took off running. Brian chased him. Riley looked at Gretchen and grinned; then she ran after them. Gretchen laughed and followed them at her own, leisurely pace, carrying the supplies they’d forgotten.

Ahead of her, she watched Nick wrangle off his t-shirt as he was running and drop it in the sand. Brian was right behind him, as they charged straight into the water with a huge splash. Riley kicked off her flip-flops and went in after them. Gretchen set down the supplies, took off her shorts and shoes, and dug out the sunscreen she’d made sure to find and bring along. She didn’t know about the other three, but without it, she’d soon look like a lobster. She applied a liberal amount, rubbing it into her arms, legs, chest, and as much as she could reach of her back.

“Need help?” She looked up, and Brian was standing there, dripping. Behind him, she saw the trail of his footsteps leading up from the water, where Nick and Riley were splashing each other. Like Nick, he’d taken off his shirt, and she realized that, despite living with him for almost three months, it was only the second time she’d seen him without a shirt. Her eyes dropped to the scar that ran down the center of his chest, and she wondered if he, like she, was just the slightest bit self-conscious.

She smiled at him. “Sure.” Handing him the bottle of sunscreen, she turned around and held her hair so that he could get the back of her neck and shoulders. Despite the heat, a shiver ran through her as she felt his hands on her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake as they rubbed in the cool cream. It felt good, yet it was strange to have another man touch like this, even in a platonic way. Usually, Shawn would be the one doing this for her, and in that moment, she missed him terribly. A sudden wave of guilt washed over her, as she imagined him fighting zombies, trying to get home, while she was down here relaxing on the beach, as if she were on vacation.

Brian must have felt her stiffen. “Sorry – little cold, huh?” he laughed, misreading her tension. “I’ll warm it up this time.” He squirted out some more sunscreen and rubbed it between his hands before he brought them up to her shoulders.

“Thanks,” she said, trying to get her mind off her husband. “I guess it’s stupid to worry about skin cancer when there are zombies to deal with, but I don’t really want to peel for two weeks after I get burned.”

“Nah, this was a good idea,” replied Brian, his hands light on the nape of her neck. “I should put some on, too.”

When she felt his hands come off her, she turned around. He squirted another blob of sunscreen into his palm and started to rub it over his own skin. She couldn’t help but watch as his hands ran up and down his own arms; for such a little guy, he had really nice arms. They were muscular, without being too bulked out – she didn’t care for bulky guys. He had a couple of tattoos on his left arm; she had noticed them before. The one on his shoulder was of a cross on a rock, with a banner beneath that said “Rock of Ages.” Even if she hadn’t known he had once been a minister, it was obvious religion had been important to him. Below that, encircling his upper arm, was a band of words. She’d asked him once what they said, and his eyes teared up as he explained they were lyrics to a song he’d written for his wife and sung at their wedding. Gretchen had found herself wondering about his wife; she must have been something special. She hoped Leighanne had appreciated him when she was alive, had realized how lucky she was to be married to a man like Brian, had loved him as much as he obviously loved her.

She watched the way his hand slowed down over the tattoos, rubbing them carefully, as if the sunscreen might smear the ink. His fingers moved lovingly over the words he had penned, words now permanently etched upon his skin as an everlasting symbol of love for his wife. It made her wish she had something to represent Shawn that way. When they finally found each other, maybe they could get matching tattoos. AJ might know how to do them; he’d certainly spent enough time in tattoo parlors to learn.

The bottle of sunscreen made a loud, squelchy farting noise as Brian squeezed out more, and they both laughed. Gretchen kept laughing as Brian moved to his chest, putting a dab of sunscreen over each nipple, then drawing a U-shape with it over his stomach to make a smiley face. It was such a juvenile thing to do, but it was still funny. She giggled, and he grinned, rubbing it in until the face disappeared. That was Brian; serious one minute, a clown the next. She got the impression that he had always been the type of guy who used humor as a defense mechanism.

“Thanks,” he said when he was finished, closing the bottle and handing it back to her.

“Sure,” she replied, shoving the bottle back into her beach bag. She pulled out the towels and spread them across the sand, while Brian set up the beach umbrella, angling it to create a patch of shade.

A high-pitched shriek rang out across the water, causing Gretchen’s heart to leap in her throat as she spun around. Brian had already started running toward the ocean, but suddenly stopped in his tracks, sending sand flying up from his feet, as he saw the same thing Gretchen did: Riley was sitting on Nick’s shoulders now, her head thrown back with laughter, as he held on to her legs.

Brian glanced back over his shoulder and met Gretchen’s gaze, and they both shook their heads, laughing, as Gretchen’s racing heart gradually slowed down. Even on a gorgeous day like this, she was going to be constantly on edge, always watching for signs of danger. Riley and Nick, the happy couple, seemed to be having fun, but she knew she was not going to be able to relax enough to truly let her hair down.

Even so, when Brian said, “Well? Shall we join them?” she nodded and followed his footsteps from the dry sand to the wet sand and on into the water. The waves, warm as bathwater, lapped over the tops of her feet and swirled around her ankles, rising up to her knees and then her thighs as she waded out further. The water was above her waist when she and Brian finally reached Nick and Riley, who was still high above the waterline on Nick’s shoulders.

“C’mon, let’s play chicken!” shouted Nick, his shining face still sporting the same goofy grin. He was definitely back in his element. “Get on up there, Gretchen,” he said, swatting one of Brian’s shoulders.

Gretchen looked doubtfully at Brian, not sure he could even support her. Nick was broad-shouldered and tall, and Riley was trim and tiny, but she probably weighed the same as Brian. He seemed more confident, though, and grinned sportingly at her. “C’mon, get on,” he said, lowering himself into the water. He went under, squatting on the ocean bottom long enough for her to maneuver her legs over his shoulders, and then he rose up again, his arms wrapped around her legs to hold her on. As she was lifted out of the water, Gretchen teetered unsteadily for a few seconds before finding her balance in her perch on Brian’s shoulders. He felt bony enough to break beneath her, but as she’d thought before, he was stronger than he looked and stood quite steadily in the water.

“Ready?” said Nick, turning so that he and Riley were facing Brian and Gretchen and moving in closer, so that the two women were within arms’ reach of each other. “Three… two… one… fight!”

Before Gretchen could even brace herself, Riley had pushed her backwards. She could feel herself sliding off Brian’s shoulders and dug her knees in, trying to hold on with her legs, but to no avail – off she went, toppling backwards into the water. She surfaced, spitting salt water, and wiped off her face. Nick and Riley were laughing, but Brian asked, “You okay?”

“Fine,” said Gretchen, breathless. “That was… quick.”

“Rematch!” said Riley. “C’mon, you can do better than that.”

Reluctantly, Gretchen climbed back on Brian’s shoulders, and they played again. She was ready this time and lasted a lot longer before Riley finally knocked her off. She wasn’t surprised to find out that Riley was competitive, even more so than Nick, who was egging her on. Brian was almost as bad, though, and kept insisting they go again.

“Why don’t you get on my shoulders this time?” Gretchen finally suggested, laughing. She was only kidding, but to everyone’s amusement, they actually did try it. She was not as strong as Brian, though, and couldn’t support his weight on top of her nearly as well as he’d managed hers. They switched partners and had her hold Riley when Brian sat on Nick’s shoulders, which worked out better, and Brian and Riley put up a good fight before he finally knocked Riley into the water for the first time.

“Sorry, Rye,” he apologized immediately when she surfaced, looking almost appalled at himself for beating a woman, but Riley was laughing.

“Suuure, you are,” she said sarcastically. “It’s okay; I let you win – I wanted to get wet. It’s way too hot to be out of the water that long!”

“Ohh, I see how it is,” Brian replied, equally sarcastic, and they all laughed.

Done with chicken fights, they simply swam. The ocean water was warm, but kept them cool compared to the sweltering heat on land. They stayed low, dunking beneath the surface occasionally to keep their heads and shoulders wet. Without realizing it, they had drifted further out into the bay. Gretchen was no longer standing in waist-deep water, but water that came up to her neck. She treaded water, her toes barely skimming the ocean bottom. The beach was in sight, so this didn’t concern her.

Until Nick suddenly screamed.

“What the FUCK!” He whirled around in a spray of water, his arms flailing with panic as he tried to keep afloat.

“What?” Brian demanded, his voice sharp with alarm. Gretchen was already propelling herself backwards, towards the beach.

“Something fucking bit me!” Nick shouted, his voice shrill. His blue eyes were wide, practically bulging out of his head.

“Are you sure?” asked Riley, her own eyes widening with horror.

“I… I dunno… felt like it! Something definitely grazed my leg,” Nick insisted, though as they all looked frantically around, they could see nothing beneath the water, no dark shadows.

“Let’s go in,” Gretchen said nervously, beckoning the others to follow her. “We should take a look at it.”

Nick didn’t need to be told twice. He started paddling after her, and Brian stayed close to him, but Riley hung back. All of a sudden, they heard her started to laugh. It started out as a snicker, then exploded into a full-blown belly laugh. They all stopped, their feet finding the bottom as they turned back to look at her.

“I’m sorry!” Riley sputtered through hysterical laughter, slapping the water. “I shouldn’t have… I just didn’t think you’d be so gullible!”

Nick’s jaw dropped, and his face took on the look of a wounded puppy. “That was you?!” he cried in dismay.

Riley laughed harder. “It was just a little pinch!”

“Fuck you!” At first, Nick looked legitimately angry, and Gretchen couldn’t blame him, but then he let out a shaky laugh, drawing a wet hand weakly over his face. “Damn, I shoulda known… I thought a fuckin’ shark bit me.”

“Shark?!” said Brian and Gretchen at the same time, and she knew he had been thinking the exact same thing she had. “You thought ‘shark’ and not ‘zombie’?”

Nick snorted. “What would a zombie be doing way out here? You think they got the coordination to swim? Fuck no, man… Didn’t I ever tell you I’m afraid of sharks?”

Brian laughed. “No! You? The ocean lover? You’re afraid of sharks?”

“Yes,” admitted Nick grudgingly, now sounding embarrassed. “I always have been, ever since I was a little kid. Probably cause I spent so much time in the ocean. I mean, you hear about shark attacks in Florida sometimes… doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. And okay, so yeah, I probably just watched too much Jaws as a kid, too…”

“Da-dun… da-dun…” Predictably, Riley sunk low in the water and started humming the Jaws theme, as she glided smoothly toward Nick. “Da-dun-da-dun-da-dun-da-dun…”

“Stop!” Nick sounded like a little kid again, as he twisted out of her reach, splashing her in the face. “Seriously, Rye, don’t; it freaks me out!”

Riley’s giggle sounded more like a gurgle through the faceful of water, but once she’d wiped her eyes, she smiled apologetically and said, “Alright, alright, I’ll stop. I didn’t know it was like a phobia for you.”

“Well, it is,” said Nick. He wasn’t really mad at her, but Gretchen could tell he was serious. It was a little funny that a happy-go-lucky guy like Nick was so deathly afraid of sharks, but Riley’s practical joke wasn’t. They were all paranoid about being attacked by zombies, and even out here in the ocean, they hadn’t left that fear back at the beach.

They had just decided to head in for their picnic – in fact, Gretchen and Riley had already started swimming for shore to get it set up – when it happened. There was a sudden shout, quickly silenced, and then Nick screamed. Again. Gretchen quickly looked back, but Riley said, “Don’t. He’s just trying to scare us. Payback, you know?”

Gretchen couldn’t see Brian.

“He just went under!” Nick shouted, twisting left and right in the water, looking all around. “Something dragged him under!”

Gretchen’s stomach lurched, but Riley insisted, “They’re fucking with us. He’s just holding his breath underwater. Wait, he’ll pop up laughing in a few seconds.”

Riley didn’t even turn around, but Gretchen waited and watched. No Brian.

Nick suddenly went under, and she gasped, afraid he had been pulled under too, until he popped back up, sucked in a breath, and went down again. He was searching, she realized. Searching for Brian. Gretchen had already started swimming toward him when he surfaced again, screaming, “Help me! Help me look!”

She fought the waves, spitting out salt water each time one of them crashed into her face, frantically trying to make it to Nick, who seemed to be drifting further and further away. “BRIAN!” she shouted, looking all around for signs of a disturbance underwater. With the waves, it was hard to tell. The water was too deep here; she couldn’t see through it at all.

“BRIAN!” she heard Nick yell helplessly.

And then, as if he’d heard their calls, Brian suddenly crashed through the surface between them, his arms windmilling wildly, as if he were trying to fight off an invisible force. He flailed and thrashed in the water, trying to keep himself afloat, but too panicked to do a good job of it. His head kept going under, before he fought to get it up again.

Gretchen and Nick swam toward him as fast as they could, coming in from opposite directions. Gretchen reached him first and slipped her arms under his, holding him up as she tried to swim backwards, kicking furiously to keep them both afloat. But he was heavier than she’d expected, and she didn’t have the strength to swim with him.

When Nick appeared, it was easier. He grabbed one of Brian’s arms, and she grabbed the other, and together, they towed him through the water, making a beeline for the beach.

“What happened?” asked Riley, her face stricken, as they grew near.

Brian shook his head, too out of breath to answer. No one spoke until they were safely on the beach. Brian collapsed in the sand, his thin chest heaving, and coughed out mouthfuls of seawater. Not sure what else to do for him, Gretchen sank down beside him and clapped his back, like she would to burp a baby, waiting for him to catch his breath again.

Finally, Brian rasped, “We’re not safe here. They’re in the water, too.”

“It was a zombie?” gasped Gretchen, her heart hammering in her chest. “Are you sure?”

Brian nodded grimly. “I’m sure. It must’ve been walking on the bottom. It grabbed my ankle from underneath me and pulled me down.”

“Did it bite you?” Riley asked, and Gretchen saw her eyes shoot down to Brian’s bare ankle. It looked unscathed. There was no sign of blood on his body or on the sand beneath him.

He shook his head. “I don’t think it wanted just my leg.”

“Braaaainsss…” moaned Nick under his breath. Gretchen and Riley both looked at him, shocked that he would make a joke at a time like this.

But Brian grinned weakly. “Maybe so. It dragged me all the way down. But I fought it off before it could sink its teeth in.”

“It’s still out there…” said Nick, now staring out at the bay. They all followed his line of sight, watching… waiting…

And then a dark shape rose out of the waves. It was a head, they realized, as a pair of shoulders followed, and then a torso. Gretchen drew in a breath and held it, frozen in fear, as the zombie staggered slowly, but surely into the shallows. Nick and Brian were both right; it looked much too clumsy to swim, which meant, with no need for oxygen, it had simply been walking around on the ocean bottom, waiting for prey to drift within its reach. And surely, it wasn’t the only one. The water was probably teaming with the undead. Tampa Bay had become the Undead Sea.

“Let’s go,” she said shakily, as the zombie grew closer. The water was below its waist now, and it was near enough that she could how bloated it was from the water, its pruny skin sagging off its decomposing flesh. Its cloudy eyes bulged from its puffy, gray face, and water trickled from its open mouth as it let out a moan that raised goosebumps on her skin. “Let’s just go.”

“No,” said Nick, and when she glanced at him, she saw that his jaw was set. “Not before we kill this thing.”

“With what?” asked Riley, looking around. “None of us brought a damn gun.”

“Then we’ll have to improvise.” Nick looked around, too, and his eyes came to rest on the beach umbrella. He hurried over it and yanked it out of the sand. The bottom was pointed, like a stake. Gretchen felt sick, imagining how he was going to use it. “Grab the cooler, Rye,” Nick added, and Riley hurried to get the small cooler, still heavy with their lunch. “Gretch, you take Brian and head for the truck.”

Gretchen felt guilty for being relieved, but she didn’t protest being let off the hook. She helped Brian to his feet, as Nick and Riley crept closer to the waterline, weapons in hand, waiting for the zombie to make it out of the water. Her eyes fixed determinedly on the truck, she heard, rather than saw, the confrontation that followed – the hungry moan of the zombie, the guttural shout from Riley, the thud of the heavy, plastic cooler colliding with bony skull, the moist splatter of something hard plunging through something soft.

When Gretchen finally chanced a glance back, Nick and Riley were trudging towards them, carrying the cooler and her beach bag, and the zombie lay still on the sand, the colorful beach umbrella protruding from one of its eye sockets.

“We can come back tonight and have a little bonfire on the beach,” said Nick, so deadpan that she couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not. “But for now, let’s get the hell out of here.”

Gretchen couldn’t agree more. They climbed back into the truck and peeled away. She sat in the back with Riley, hugging her knees to her chest. Despite the sun beating down on her, she couldn’t stop shivering.

***