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I bet you thought that this story was going to be your typical boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy, boy leaves, they meet years later and eventually live happily ever after right? And I bet you thought that boy was going to be Nick all along too. Not quite so simple. Back then, Brian was it for me. He made me laugh, all the time, he was really easy to talk to and we ended up spending a lot of time together because he and Nick became really good friends and of course Nick and I were also good friends. A few months went by and I began to realize that Brian and I were starting to spend more time alone together. I don’t know if it was coincidence or if he somehow planned it but I didn’t mind at all. It was only about three months after I had met the guys that Brian and I shared our first kiss. Actually it was my first kiss ever and it was perfect. We had never really talked about liking each other as more than friends, it was always insinuated. But the day Brian kissed me verified everything. If only it were that easy. You see, Brian was four years older than me which might not seem so bad except for the fact that I was only fifteen at the time. As much as Brian and I liked each other, something about the relationship didn’t seem right because of the age difference. But there was no denying that we had a connection so we pushed aside our worries and decided to try a relationship. Looking back I think we were doomed from the start. We had chosen to keep the relationship a secret because we were afraid of what everyone might think. Deep down I knew it was wrong to hide it but I also knew it was probably wrong to be together too. So for the next three months we found time to be together and for the first time I was really happy.

That was until the group got notice that the album was almost finished. Everyone was beyond excited. I was so happy for the guys to be doing something they all clearly loved so much and the prospect of it actually turning into something was exciting for everyone. And then reality started to sink in. Management had told to guys that if the album did what they predicted it would then the guys needed to prepare themselves because they were about to take off. They would be touring the world and promoting the group with live performances, interviews, radio, everything they could have ever hoped to do and more! I was so happy for them and crushed at the same time. What did that mean for me? I had become such great friends with all the guys, especially Brian and now I had to deal with the fact that they were leaving. I was going to be loosing some of my best friends, not to mention my boyfriend.

The next few weeks were torture for me. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. It was all so bittersweet. The guys had officially named the group the Backstreet Boys after having had a lunch meeting at a small restaurant called the Backstreet Market. It was during this meeting that they learned of all the new adventures they would be embarking on so it only seemed fitting. They were flying high on excitement and adrenalin of what was to come in their future and there I was watching it all unfold before my eyes, impossible to do anything. On the outside I held it together. I put on a fake smile and continued to give the guys my love and support while on the inside I was falling apart at the seams. I knew the day would come when they would get on a plane and take off on their amazing journey together and I would be left behind to watch from a distance as they sky rocketed to fame. My biggest fear was that I would be forgotten and I would have my heart broken by five guys that I had come to know and love in such a short period of time.