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I was now sixteen and the Backstreet Boys were just about to head out on their journey, starting with an international tour in Germany. Everything had happened so fast as my mind continued to reel with thoughts and worries of what was going to come in the next few days. Brian and I had not really talked about what was going to happen to us once he left but I knew it was next to impossible at this point in his life to somehow manage to carry on a long distance relationship with a girl he really shouldn’t even be with in the first place.

The guys were going to be shooting the first video off their album and had asked me to be in the video. I was a little surprised that were still thinking about me in all of their crazy adventures but I was happy to accept. The day was so much fun and I got my first glimpse of what their world was about to become. Seeing all five of them standing there in matching outfits, singing together and making a video, really solidified to me that this was it. I knew right at that moment that they were going to be big. I could have never predicted in that moment exactly how big they would eventually get but I knew they were going to be something.

Later that day Brian pulled me aside for the much needed talk we had been waiting for. He told me that he had told the guys about us and had suggested that I go on tour with them. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I thought for sure that Brian was going to break up with me but instead he was asking me on tour. However my initial excitement quickly faded when I realized what this meant. He told the guys about us! Now instead of being afraid of a break up I was afraid of what the guys were going to think of me. Brian told me that they were not very happy with the idea of us being together and that it probably wasn’t a good idea so early into their career to have me tagging along. I couldn’t blame them. They had no idea what they were in store for and I didn’t want to interfere in any way. Brian and I agreed that it was best if we called it quits for now. He told me he would always love me and that if things were going good on the tour he would love for me to come visit him at some point. I was also relieved to hear that the other guys felt the same way and wanted me to come see them once the tour kicked off. Of course I was upset that Brian and I were over but I knew deep down that I wasn’t loosing him or any of other guys forever so I would be okay.

I had been feeling like I was becoming more distant from Nick ever since I had gotten together with Brian and I didn’t want him to leave thinking something was wrong between us. The day before he left we ended up going to one of our favorite ice cream shops in town to talk. I had always felt really comfortable around Nick and I could never thank him enough for introducing me to the rest of the guys. If it weren’t for him I would have never met Brian. I asked how he felt about Brian and I and surprisingly he said he was okay with it. He was more upset that we had hid it from everyone but he did admit that if we had been open it probably would have weird between him I since two of his best friends were dating. But we couldn’t change the past and I was glad the he and I were able to sort things out and get back to where we were as friends right from the very beginning.

The day they left was hard for everyone. I cried like a baby when it came time for them to board the plane. I gave them all a big hug and kiss on the cheek and wished them luck, even though I knew they didn’t need it. It was really difficult saying goodbye to Brian because I had a feeling that after he left things would never be the same between us. We had left our relationship open knowing we both still cared for each other very much but I knew even if the timing ever was right again that it probably wouldn’t work. We had left on good terms and I cherished my friendship with Brian more than anything in the world. Leaving Nick was almost as hard. He and I had a bond that we just couldn’t deny. I knew our friendship would last forever, I just hoped that the next time I saw him he would be the same person I was watching walking onto that plane. I hoped all of them stayed the same.