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I was so glad that the guys were doing so well with the Backstreet Boys and I hoped that if their success was this good over seas that it would take off in the States too. But for now we were all happy to live in the moment and take in everything we could. By some miracle the guys actually had a day off while I was visiting and Nick, Brian and AJ (as he was referring to himself now) wanted to take me sightseeing. We had come across some athletics center and Nick and Brian wanted to head in to see what kind of sports they had. AJ and I decided to check out some the stores they had just a few blocks away. I had always had a great time hanging out with AJ. We could really relate to a lot of things from our screwed up families to our passion for shopping! AJ was always so witty and I loved his sarcastic humor but most of all I loved how caring he was. I never really understood why he was so determined to transform into the “bad boy” when quite frankly that was literally the opposite of who he really was. If I ever needed someone to talk to and I didn’t feel comfortable telling Nick or Brian, I knew AJ was only a step away. He always had the best advice to give and was never judgmental.

It was during that afternoon with AJ that I started to realize that maybe I felt more deeply for him than just friendship. I was nearing nineteen, had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do with my life and I had finally moved on from Brian. I felt like I was ready for another relationship but I was hesitant to start something with another friend. I was lucky to have ended things so well with Brian and I knew that it might not always work out so smoothly. But there was something about AJ that just drew me in and I couldn’t help but find myself falling fast for him. He must have sensed a change in my behavior towards him because soon he was asking if I was okay. I felt like I should distance myself from him and chose to head back to the hotel leaving him behind, probably feeling just as confused as I was.

Later that day AJ somehow managed to corner me alone and was very persistent in finding out what was wrong with me. I thought that if I could hold in my feelings until I got home then maybe they would go away by the time I saw him again. But I never got the chance find out if that would have worked because next thing I knew AJ was kissing me in an empty hallway of the hotel. At first I was surprised. I wasn’t sure what kind of signals I was giving off but I thought I had done a pretty good job at covering up my feelings. I guess not because soon AJ was telling me he felt the same way too. I was scared at first to let it go any further than just one kiss but there was no denying the attraction I had for him so the next thing I knew AJ I were on our way to becoming a couple. Now I bet you never saw that one coming either right? Trust me, it kind of threw me for a loop too but for the next two years I was so happy with AJ I couldn’t complain. That’s right, Alex and I dated for over two years and it was great! We made the long distance work for us. I actually think that if we had a normal relationship it probably wouldn’t have lasted as long. When we were together sparks flew. Our relationship was based on so much passion. You know the phrase “Leave and keep him coming back for more”? Well that was us. I would visit as much as I could and when I did, there was fire, and just when it was getting to be too hot, I would leave. We would have our cool down period and then it would start all over again. Eventually I think the fire would have consumed us if we didn’t get away from each other and probably would have destroyed us. But I won’t ever know how it really should have ended like, or even if ever should. You know when I said my life is never easy. Well this is where it starts to get really complicated.