~*~Brian’s point of view~*~

I didn’t want to be here. Which was ironic considering it was sort of because of me that we were meeting in the first place. I’d made that call to AJ, asking if he were ready. In doing that, I’d gotten the ball rolling again.

It had been a long time since the five of us had been together in one place. And so much had changed since then. Who knew what type of music we’d record, if we did follow through with this plan to put out another CD? The music scene had changed drastically since we were topping the charts. Who knew if our fans had remained faithful to us, had been patient for us to come back? How many had outgrown us?

Everything was simply overwhelming. I hadn’t realized how much so until today. We were at Kevin’s house, firing up the grill in the backyard. There was a nice breeze and a clear blue sky.

Originally, Howie had suggested having this at my place. “It was your idea, after all,” he’d said. But I didn’t want the responsibility of hosting; rather, I wanted the freedom to leave if need be.

Howie was pouring himself some soda. AJ was smoking a cigarette. Kevin put some burgers onto the flames.

He was the only one who wasn’t here yet.

AJ stood up and his knee popped. “Ouch!”

Howie laughed “Maybe it is time to change our name to Backstreet Men. Do we still have those canes from Yes I Will? I think AJ’s going to need one.”

“I’m sorry, but which one of us has reached his thirties?” AJ raised an eyebrow.

He’d changed, but for the better. There were more tattoos (and counting), and he hadn’t lost the sunglasses or unique fashion sense. But when you looked into his eyes, AJ was looking back at you, not the downfalls of fame that had stolen him from us for a time.

Howie had passed the thirty mark. I didn’t want to think about how soon I’d be following him. He was consistently… well, Howie though. Ever the peacemaker, which I was sure would come in handy before this day was done. He’d lost the “Jesus” hair and was dressing more businesslike these days.

Then there was Kevin. He’d also lost the long hair. We’d been looking more like Hanson than the Backstreet Boys for awhile, which I’d mentioned. I remembered hanging out with them- all of them- one night, before we’d gone our own ways. Howie had mentioned our trademark song. He started singing I Want It That Way as I broke out into the chorus of MMMBop.

Things were already getting tense at that point, so the only one who thought it was funny was me. But oh, well.

“You look thrilled to be here,” Kevin observed, when Howie and AJ had gotten into their own discussion, about some random collection of AJ’s. Howie was laughing about whatever it was.

I didn’t answer.

Kevin looked at his watch, seeming a little annoyed himself.

“Think we’re ready to do this?” I asked after a moment.

He smiled wryly. “You should’ve thought about that before telling us we were.”

I’d called AJ. Kevin was family, so it was no problem to call him. And Howie, of course. He was as easy-going as ever. Which was why I’d gotten him to call the final member of our group.

“Yeah, Kevin, you’re probably right.”

He shrugged. “Well, I usually am.”

“And as modest as ever,” I rolled my eyes. I turned around to see what in the world Howie and AJ were talking about when I heard the latch of the wooden gate beside the house being lifted. It swung open, and there was the youngest member of the Backstreet Boys.

Nick Carter.

It was a household name, as was our group name. It was weird that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen him. We’d spent a decade traveling the world, seeing each other daily. And then… it changed.

Nick was still tall, his blonde hair a little shorter and a little darker. He was wearing a rock band t-shirt and baggy jeans that should’ve been a size smaller.

“Hey,” he said, awkwardly.

“Hey man,” he and AJ did a special handshake.

“I was wondering when you were going to show up,” Howie said, but with a friendly smile.

“Just making an entrance. Save the best for last,” Nick joked.

Without thinking, I let out a grunt of disagreement. The record company had certainly agreed with that statement. They’d thought as highly of him as he thought of himself.

Nick heard and looked over at me. “Hey, Brian,” he said uncertainly.

“Burgers are done,” Kevin saved me. “Last one here gets to serve.” He handed Nick the spatula and gave him a pat on the back.

It was a small gesture, but Nick didn’t miss it. He looked surprised, but gratefully went over to the grill to do as he was told. Kevin was accepting him back into the group, no questions asked. He was looking towards the future.

I was surprised at this development, too. Howie wanted to get along with everybody; he’d even visited Nick on his solo tour. AJ had created other problems during Black and Blue, causing us to postpone tour dates so that he could straighten his own life out. He probably considered it hypocritical, therefore, to judge Nick for what he’d had a part of, too. Besides, AJ wasn’t the fan of confrontations.

But Kevin? As the oldest member of the group, and just a strong-willed personality in general, I’d counted on him being with me on this. When did he miss the opportunity to scold the baby of the group?

I felt completely outnumbered now. I wasn’t ready to simply let everything go.

We sat down at the patio table under a huge umbrella, although the sun was already lowering itself in the sky. The conversation stayed away from music for awhile, instead focusing on catching up on other aspects of our lives. But inevitably, we circled back to why we were here.

“You know,” AJ said, “I’m getting sick of hearing about how we’ve broken up. Heck, people tell me we are. I’m like, ‘Wouldn’t I be one of the first to know?’” he laughed. “And they’re like, ‘It’s been such a long time.’ Um, not really!”

Kevin agreed. “We were touring throughout 2001. Then we released Drowning and the Chapter One CD. No, it really isn’t long when you think about it.”

“That break’s an eternity in the music business,” I interjected, breaking the silence I’d kept throughout the meal.

“Yeah, but we need to prove to people that it was just that- a break,” Howie said. “The media acts like none of us have spoken this millennium.”

“Hey, that reminds me of a CD. It was a pretty good one,” AJ joked.

Meanwhile, I’d shot a glance at Nick. He was looking at me, too.

Breaking the eye contact, he stood up. “Who wants another burger?”

AJ and Kevin did, so he returned to the grill.

“We’re going to be facing a lot of questions about where we’ve been,” Kevin said practically. “Everyone knows we’d gone back into the studio. I mean, we sung If You Stay at some of the shows last tour. And we’ve got the new record company now.”

I was astonished to see what lengths he was going to in order to avoid bringing up certain facts. But I kept my mouth shut.

“We’ll work out what to say,” Howie said. “Nothing we haven’t gone through before. The important thing is that we’re all on the same page now.”

I wanted to laugh. Were we all just going to pretend that everything was peachy in boy band land, and jump right back into singing ballads?

Nick nodded eagerly. He was getting off easy, and he knew it. I wished he’d wipe that smug look off of his face.

No, Brian, I told myself. I wasn’t the type to start fights.

“The sooner we jump back into the studio, the better,” Howie continued. “We could have the CD out as early as next summer if we work hard enough.”

“Yeah,” Nick agreed. He’d also been staying silent, manning the grill. “And I was thinking we could go with more of a rock direction this time. You know, something we’ve never really done before.”

“That might be cool,” AJ agreed.

I looked around incredulously. Nick finally came back around, and now he was calling the shots?

“You mean make it sound more like your CD?” I couldn’t stay quiet anymore. This was the Backstreet sound, not his sound.

“No,” Nick looked flustered. “I just thought it would be an interesting way to change it up a bit. We don’t want to do the same thing over and over.”

“‘If it ain’t broke,’” I quoted.

The air tensed, so AJ quickly spoke up. “So Howie, I never got to show you.” He went over to where his stuff was and returned with a small cardboard box. “This came in the mail today, right when I was leaving to come here.”

He pulled out a small skull, in a glass display case.

“What is that?” Kevin asked, eyes wide.

“Looks like he finally got tired of hearing Justin Timberlake on the radio,” I said, a joke though my tone remained annoyed. I crossed my arms and refused to look at Nick.

“Last time we were in South America…” AJ started.

“It was years ago!” Howie said. “You just now getting this?”

“Yeah, they deliver by pack mule. No,” AJ laughed. “But I saw some cool stuff like this when we were there and have wanted one ever since.”

“So did you go back there?” Kevin asked.

“Nah,” AJ said. “Ebay!” He said this with an implied ‘duh.’

Kevin said, “Then it’s probably not even real.”

“Looks real to me,” AJ shrugged. “Anyway, looked cool. Like something I can put on my coffee table.”

“Nothing says ‘welcome to my home’ like a skull,” Howie rolled his eyes.

“Well, I think it’s cool. And down there, people say they have magical and healing powers and stuff.”

“Well, here in America… we know they don’t,” Kevin smiled.

“What’s that burning smell?” Howie sniffed the air.

“Oh, crap,” Nick said, returning his attention to the grill. The burgers looked blackened and rock-solid. “I wasn’t paying attention. Sorry, guys.”

“Yeah, cancel my order,” AJ said.

Kevin got the burnt burgers , threw them in the trash, and turned the grill off. He threw another bag of potato chips on the table for everyone to munch on instead.

“I wonder which songwriters we can go back to working with,” Howie returned his thoughts to the CD.

“Max Martin’s never let us down in the past. And he worked with me on my CD,” Nick said. “Like I Got You.”

“I liked that song,” Howie said.

Nick glanced at me.

“Never heard it,” I said.

His face dropped.

“Anyway, this is a group CD. Not Nick’s solo album part two,” I said.

“Jeez, Brian, could you get off my back for two seconds? You’re just jealous you don’t have a solo CD!” Nick snapped.

I glared at him. “Yeah, I put the group first. Not really a concept I would expect you to be familiar with.”

“Oh, please. What about when all of you went into the studio? You’re just mad you realized you couldn’t make a CD without me.”

“Yes, we could’ve!” I shot back. I could out sing him any day of the week.

“Guys,” Howie said gently. We ignored him.

“What would this group be without me?”

“Happy?” I laughed. “Besides, we’d save a lot of money on gas, not having to take all the ego trips.”

AJ laughed, and Nick turned to him.

“What? That was funny,” AJ shrugged, putting on his sunglasses to hide behind.

“You wouldn’t have lasted without me,” Nick returned to our conversation.

“Please,” I said. “The only reason you came back was because you realized you couldn’t make it without us! The burgers are a perfect example. You’re pretty good at screwing up, aren’t you?”

“What?” Nick stood up. “I was in this group long before you came around! ‘Hey, ya’all. How are ya’all doin?” he did an exaggerated impersonation of my Kentucky accent.

“You tried to go solo, and your career was as dead as this guy!” I picked up the skull.

“Careful,” AJ said.

“You know, you know nothing about me,” Nick shouted.

“And whose fault is that? Like you know me anymore,” I added.

“I wish you two would consider each other’s points of view,” Howie added, not pleased with our outbursts.

“Yeah, what happened to Frick and Frack?” AJ asked.

“I don’t know. They aren’t here anymore,” I muttered.

Suddenly, I realized my hand was hurting. A sudden heat was rushing through the display case. I dropped it on the table.

“Watch it!” AJ said.

I stared at it. The sunlight, despite not being that bright, was glinting off of it; it shimmered.

I noticed Nick was staring at it, too.

“What the hell was that?” Nick asked.

“What?” Kevin looked at him confused.

“Nothing…” Nick threw his hands up. “I’ve gotta go,” Nick glared at me and started to grab his car keys.

I shook my head. “For once, you don’t get to be the one to walk out.” I quickly got past him, retrieving my own things, and headed towards the gate. Without glancing back, I shut it behind me, got in my car, and headed home.

Backstreet wasn’t back. And “alright” was anything but what we were anymore.