This is What Happens When Chinchillas are Bored!   

Horatio looked on in horror at the site before him. There was famed Backstreet Boy Nick Carter standing around signing autographs for his hundreds of admiring fans. His own Mare being one of them, when all of the sudden it came out of nowhere like a big thundercloud from the sky, roaring to earth at ten million miles an hour. Or like a huge tractor falling from the edge of a cliff, or like a giant bumblebee that had like… lots of gas and stuff …and had eaten lot’s of honey and stuff like that… and was like kind of falling out of this huge flower. I mean the flower would have to be like a hundred feet tall for you to get how big the fall would be. Anyway, it was kind of like all that and a bag of chips. Just substitute the bag of chips for a pretzel and that’s what Horatio saw.

No really…I’m not kidding.

Horatio saw a giant pretzel suddenly swoop down from the ceiling and land on Nick.

“AHHHH!!” screamed Mare from the front of the line. “It’s a giant pretzel and it just swooped down on Nick!”

“AHHH!” screamed the rest of the crowd. “Where did that pretzel come from?”

“AHHH!” screamed Nick, “There’s a freaking huge pretzel on me!”

“AHHH!” screamed Howie, “I can’t believe this is another stupid story about Nick!”

“AHHH!” screamed Rhianna and Justin Timberlake because God Forbid they aren’t included in everything.

Suddenly a film of black smoke rose from Nick’s neck in a curving pattern before evaporating into thin air as it hit the ceiling. The frenzied cries from all the girls and groundhog surrounding Nick seemed to stop just as quickly as it started. Horatio took hold of his sword and ran at the blond full force.

“Unhand that man you horrid pretzel!” He screamed as his chubby legs caused himself to trip and fall flat on his face right in front of his true love who seemed mortified. 

“Horatio, what are you doing? Are you trying to embarrass me in front of this crowd of people?” Mare asked as her cheeks turned crimson.

“I am trying to save Nick Carter from that giant pretzel!” Horatio answered as he stood up and dusted off his pride and tried to lick his ass. He is a groundhog after all.

“I feel weird.” Nick exclaimed as he began to walk shakily towards a chair while he was still wearing the pretzel around his head like a Sousaphone, almost stepping on Mare as he did.

“Let me help you buddy!” Howie said as he reached for his friend just before he fell to the ground.

“AHHH!” Everyone gasped as Nick lost consciousness. “What happened to him?”

“Someone call 911!” Howie cried out as he reached for the pretzel to take it off his little brother.

“Get your hands off of me Earthling!” The pretzel said.

“Do what now?” Howie asked, seemingly confused about what had happened.

“Keep your hands off of me, I said.”

“Uh…this pretzel is talking, did anyone else hear that?” He asked just as Horatio climbed on top of Nick’s stomach with his sword in his hand.

“Let this earthling go!” He demanded; raising his sword in the air, ready to slice the pretzel into bite sized pieces…literally.

“It is you…I have heard a lot about you, noble groundhog.” The pretzel said while grinning as evilly as a pretzel can grin, I suppose.

“Uh, am I hallucinating or something? Is there a groundhog on Nick’s stomach talking to a giant alien pretzel?” Howie asked anyone who would listen.

“Then you are well aware that I will not stand here idly and let you use this man as your puppet.”

“I guess we’ll have to see about that.” The pretzel said as once again another black cloud rose out of nowhere and into the air. “I am Lord Mr. Salty and I’m here to take over your planet.”

“Lord Mister Salty? Really?” Howie and Horatio asked me in unison. Wait a minute, why are they talking to me?

I’m hungry….

I haven’t eaten anything since an hour ago and this isn’t fun anymore. Have you ever tried typing with paws? Tiny Chinchilla paws? It isn’t fun…I’m over this.

The End