- Text Size +
Chapter 1
It’s now five years later and I’m married to a wonderful man of two and a half years, who I love, with all my heart. At least, I thought he was. “How in the hell could you do this to me!” He yelled. “Kevin what am I supposed to say? I’m sorry he kissed me? He does this every time we get together with Raine. I didn’t know he would actually go through with it after all these years.” “Why shouldn’t he? You did have his child.” He said trying to calm down and taking a seat. I sat down and turned to face him. “Kevin, I love you.” “I love you too.” He said with hurt in his voice. “Yeah, I do love Alex, because he’s Raine’s father. But I married you, not Alex.” I said taking his hand. “Kev, I will always love Alex because he was my first love.” I started as Kevin pulled back and got up to leave. “But you stole my heart the first time I talked to you on the phone. You are my everything and I don’t want to loose that.” I said getting up and placing my arms around his waist from behind. “But the kiss. I know in your heart you felt something when he kissed you.”

He turned around to look at me. “Don’t deny that you didn’t feel it.” “You’re right, I can’t.” I whispered and tried to push away. “I don’t want to let you go.” He started as he grabbed my waist. “I need you to tell me what actually happened between the two of you back then.” He asked. “Kev...” “Don’t tell me you can’t because I know you can. You need to tell me.” He demanded. I looked up into Kevin’s emerald green eyes and saw them gloss over. Then I told him. “I broke up with Alex at his graduation party. But he didn’t understand why I wanted to sleep with him one last time.” “So you could get pregnant.” “No. I loved Alex. We didn’t plan on me getting pregnant. I slept with him one last time so I could remember what I was going to miss. I broke up with him because he wasn’t going to be around and I couldn’t deal with that. I was glad he was in the group.” I paused. “Was?” Kevin said in shock. “Am. I am glad he’s in the group. It was what he’d always wanted in life. This had always been his dream to be in the music business. I told him I was happy for him but...” “You were just afraid that the fame would get to his head.” “Yeah I did. Then when I found out that I was pregnant; I had to tell him. I didn’t plan on him getting mad and hanging up. I was just glad that you called and was there for me.” “You did need someone there for you and I stepped up to the plate because he wouldn’t.” He said and I gave him a smile. “Few months after Raine was born Alex started showing up at my door begging for me to take him back. I kept telling him no because he had a girlfriend and I didn’t think it would be fare for her or his fans.” “Did you know he was still with that same girl before he graduated?” “WHAT?!” I said in shock. “He met Marisa on tour through management.” Kevin said. “Then it was a good thing I broke up with him then.” I said upset as I got up and walked over to the window. “I’m sorry, I thought you knew.” He said. “Kev, can we not talk about him anymore?” He goes up and placed his arms around my waist and kissed me on the shoulder. “If that’s what you want, we don’t have to talk about it anymore.” He said giving me a smile. “I love you babe.” “I love you too, Kevy.”

Few months later Kevin and I were standing by the window in the living room watching the sunset on the water when I broke the silence. “Kevy?” I said as a tear fell onto his arm. “Sweetie, why are you crying?” He asked concerned. “I need to ask you something. It’s been bothering me and you might not like what I’m about to ask.” “What is it?” He asked as I pulled out of his arms. “Why did you stay with me all these years?” “Because I love you!” He said in shock. “Why would you ask me something like that?” “I guess... Well over the last few years of us being together all we’ve done is fight over Alex and our relationship.” I stopped to think. Kevin didn’t say anything. “If you knew that I still had feelings for him why did you stay with me?” “I guess because I knew that he couldn’t commit to just one female. And I guess I knew that you wouldn‘t go back to him.” “Even with his baby?” I said. “Even with a baby. AJ has always played the field. You know that he tried to settle down with Sarah.” “Yeah I did.” “You saw how that turned out. Not so good.” Kevin said. “But Kevy, he’s changed so much over the last few years. He’s been single and not even looking. Yeah he’ll flirt but that’s just him.” I said walking back over to the window. Kevin looked at me with a questioning look. “Ever sense Raine got sick; he’s been showing his softer side. I just don’t know what he’d do if he lost her.” I paused for a moment. “I don’t even know what I’d do if I lost her.” I whispered as more tears just fell.

Kevin looked up at me and saw that I was crying again. He got up placed his hand on my shoulder and I turned around. I buried my face in his chest and just cried. “Baby, whatever happens...”At that moment the doorbell rang cutting him off mid sentence. “Excuse me, babe. I should get that.” He said pulling back and heading to the door. I followed him out to the door. Brian was standing there. “Cuz, where have you been!?” Brian yelled. “What are you talking about? I’ve been home most of the day.” “Why didn’t you answer your cell phone?” “I turned it off when Allison and I were at the hospital. I guess I forgot to turn it back on. Why didn’t you try Allison’s?” “It wasn’t on either.” “Then why didn’t you call the home phone?” “Now why didn’t I think of that?” Brian said now kicking himself in the ass. “Brian, what’s going on with Raine?” I asked. “Raine’s fine right now but she’s not responding to well to her chemo treatment and AJ just took off without warning. I think you should get back to her.” He said. “I should. Kevin are you coming?” I asked as I grabbed my keys and purse. “No, I’m going to give you sometime to be alone with her for awhile.” “Are you sure?” I asked placing my hand on his cheek. “I’m sure.” He said giving a small smile. “I love you so much. I don’t know what I’d do with out you.” I said giving him a kiss. “Who’s with her right now?” I asked looking over at Brian. Nick and Aaron are trying to keep her calm and relaxed. For a five-year-old that’s not easy.” He said placing his hand on my shoulder. I grinned. I’ll call if anything changes.” I said over to Kevin. “Okay. Give her my love.” “I will.” I gave him a kiss then I jumped into my car and headed to the hospital.

Brian followed Kevin and headed back into the house. “Brian, how is she really?” Kevin asked with a look of hurt on his face. “She’s not doing so well. Dr. Kane couldn’t give us a straight answer on how much longer she’s got.” Brian said as he looked over at his cousin. “Kevin what’s going on with you?” Brian asked. “Allison has changed a lot in the last year.” “Of course she has. She’s been worried about losing her daughter and she can’t deal with that.” Brian said. “I mean, she’s been getting closer to AJ the last few months and I’ve not intervened.” Kevin said finally sitting down on the couch. “So you’re letting her get close to him?” “I think I’m going to just end this before one of us gets hurt.” Kevin said placing his hands on his head. “Like you?” Brian said. Kevin just crunched up his nose and nodded his head. “Are you sure that’s the best thing to do?” Brian asked. “I love my wife and I don’t like seeing her like this. I want her to be happy.” “So you think she’ll be happy with AJ? I know she loves him but she also loves you. Are you really sure that filing for divorce so she can have a life with AJ is what she wants and what you really want?” Kevin sat there a moment to think this through. “Brian, over the last few months she’s spent more and more time with him, then with me. Even when there not at the hospital there out together.” Kevin said. “You got to remember that those two have a child who’s very ill and are trying to work things out in there own lives. Why don’t you think about this more before you make your final dissection?” Brian said hoping to change his mind.