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False alarm yet again. Was this ever going to work? Maybe if they did let nature take it's course they wouldn't be in the state they were in meaning the constant bickering and her recent affair with his relative. She had to distance herself from it in that manner because it was the only way she could keep from remembering the way he felt and the way he touched her and if that didn't help her, she'd distanced herself with that show of attitude he pulled on the day she made it final. God she was wishing she hadn't today because Kevin had become the most royal pain in the ass. He slipped his boots on and flung his coat on before she even knew he was gone. They'd fought earlier in the day. and now he was on his way to the stables for the third day straight with no mention of when he'd be back. And it was getting so this was their daily routine. He'd wake up and take his shower, go downstairs and start breakfast without so much as a 'good morning' or 'hey darlin why don't we?' . Then she'd go downstairs and it would start with something as simple as her wanting frosted mini wheats on the grocery list. Well this was where it was gonna end today she decided as she bundled herself up.

She couldn't possibly understand what he was going through. They had found out that she was in perfect health and most capable of carrying a child to full term but he was unable to give that to her the way nature intended them to conceive. She was understanding but it hurt just the same knowing he could never give her that. Give her the one thing in life every man should be able to give his wife. He stroked the mare's mane; lost in his thoughts.
"Kev,"she spoke softly so as not to spook the horses.
"What do you want?"He replied tersely.
"We need to talk."
Four words in the world no man liked to hear."We don't have anything left to talk about."
"Jesus Kevin! I have no idea what you're going through and you won't tell me. Please let me in."
"Leave me alone Jo-Jo."
"Dammit Kevin! I can't leave you alone anymore. I feel like we're falling apart and it's because of your pigheadedness that we are."
"Me?! What about you? Haven't you been a little more than stubborn yourself?"
"I was stubborn to prove a point to you but you obviously are still stuck in that little alternate reality called 'Poor Kevin and everybody who dumps on him'. Wake up Kev. This is not all about you. It takes two of us to make this thing work. I'm getting tired of being the only one trying to make things work. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't up and leave your ass today."
"You wouldn't do that."
"You've known me how long?"
"Then what's stopping you?"
"You. I love you so damn much Kevin and you keep shutting me out. Like this isn't killing me too."
"You have no idea what I'm going through."
"Then tell me Kevin. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you wouldn't understand."
"Because you won't let me understand."
"You're gonna spook the horse Jordan."
"It's good that something gets spooked around here cuz it sure as hell ain't you."She started to walk away and was caught by the strength of his hand.
"I am not scared Jordan."
"God Kevin. I can see it in your eyes all the time anymore. You're afraid that I think less of you because of your situation. I have never once emasculated you because of this. I have tried everything in my power to make you feel more like a man but you won't let me."
"So now you feel sorry for me?"
"That's not what I said. Now let go of me. You're hurting me."
"I'm glad because you've been hurting me for a long time. Would you like to tell me exactly what happened on Christmas Day between you and my cousin?"
"We had an argument. That's all."
"I'm beginning to think that my Mom was right about Brian after all."
"Meaning what?"
"Meaning he's had his eye on you for as long as I can remember."
"He's got a girlfriend now Kevin."
"But before that?"
She looked at him disbelievingly. She knew what he was implying was true but she couldn't believe he'd out and out stand there and accuse her without the proof."Surely you're not suggesting I'm having an affair with your cousin."
"Are you?"
"Oh that is it Kevin Richardson. If you don't have enough faith in me to believe what I tell you then maybe we should call it quits."
"At least the children won't suffer."
"That was cold even for you."
"Then maybe you don't know me as well as you thought you did."
"Maybe I don't,"she said; jerking her arm from his grip. She started walking away from him when she heard the last comment he made.
"I hope he's worth losing me."
Maybe he was.