April 21, 1999
Dear Diary,
Change of plans, I leave for Orlando tomorrow! Howie said he wanted to see me as soon as possible so he got me a ticket for this weekend! So I've been busy this week getting caught up with schoolwork and of course, packing. Mom thinks I'm crazy for taking so much stuff for 4 days. Well, I'll be around the Backstreet Boys, all 5 of them! I need to be prepared. Oh yeah I'm staying at Howie's place. He told the rents he has a guest house for me to stay in so they were ok with that. I'm leaving after school tomorrow. I'm going to be going nuts all day, I just want to go already! I'm excited and nervous. If you would have told me this was going to happen a month ago I would have told you you were crazy! I'm not sure how I got so lucky. I have a feeling I will have a lot to write this weekend! But hopefully not a lot of time!
I'll keep you informed!
Kisses,
Kris
April 23, 1999
3 AM
Hey Diary!
I'm in Howie's guest room as I write this! I should be sleeping right now but I'm too happy and excited to sleep! Guess what? He kissed me! When he saw me at the airport he just walked up to me and kissed me! It was definitely the most romantic moment I've had in my short life. I'm still a little nervous about meeting Nick but I'm sure I'm over that silly crush I've had on him for the last 2 years. Guess I was crushing on the wrong Boy. I think he's still weirded out about the age thing, but I'll be 18 in less than a year. I know he's being cautious because of it. I know I have way less experience that him. I barely have any at all! I just love how I feel when I'm around him. Like there's finally someone that completely gets me. That's crazy, huh? I haven't even known him a month! But anyway I should go try to get some sleep. I have to be up in a few hours to go meet the guys! Wish me luck! Hopefully I'll be able to act like a normal human being around them!
Loving love,
Kristina
April 24, 1999
Are you a good shrink Diary?Because I think I need one! I am so extremely confused right now! Yesterday was amazing and crazy and completely messed with my head! Where do I even start? I'll get right to the point. You know that silly crush I had on Nick? I think it evolved into something more than a crush when I first saw him. It just hit me. I'm in love with him! Or am I? How can I be? I'm with Howie. I just met him yesteday. Oh yeah, he has a girlfriend. Oh thank God she wasn't there yesterday because I think that would have taken me right over the edge. I don't know what to do. I obviously need to get over it. Nothing will come from it and why ruin what I could end up having with Howie? Maybe my reaction was normal. Maybe I was just in shock from meeting him. And I have been psyching myself out about it. I guess we'll see what happens. I swear I felt like he was looking at me the same way I was looking at me, but that was probably just my imagination. Ok moving on, all the guys are great! They were all so nice! I got to watch them rehearse and heard some of the new songs. It was a dream come true! I met Brian's girlfriend Leighanne too. I love her! You can tell she's truly a good person. I had a lot of fun talking to her. Wow my life is turning into a soap opera. I hope today is more normal, maybe it was just all my excitement that made me confused. I have to go get ready.
Thanks shrink!
Kristina
April 25, 1999
2 AM
I've become a good middle of the night writer Diary!
I feel like I'm in the twilight zone! This isn't my life, it can't be! How did I go from shy junior in high school to the girl that hangs out with the Backstreet Boys? Every morning when I wake up I think i'll be back to my old life, that all of this was just a dream. But it's not. I'm still here, in Orlando, in Howie's house. You know what he asked me? To go to Europe with them this summer! We were talking about how we were going to make this work, being on opposite sides of the world for 3 months and all, and he just asked me to go with him. There's no way the parents are going to be on board though, so I'm not getting too excited just yet. I'm still confused as hell though. I like Howie so much! He's the sweetest guy I've ever met. And then there's Nick. Sexy sexy Nick. How am I going to handle being around them non-stop in Europe for 3 months? I can't believe I already have to go home. Maybe being away from them will help me think clearly. All that hotness can't be good for my brain! I need sleep. All this confussion has me sleep deprived. I don't want to leave!
K
April 25, 1999
On the plane
Back home we go Diary,
I'm not happy about it. I had such an amazing time. Confusing but still amazing. And what sucks is I don't even know exactly when I'll see them again. I have to go to Europe. What kind of parents would deny their child a summer in Europe, right? Especially when they don't have to pay for it! Kevin was so sweet, he said that since he's the only responsible and mature one in the group (funny but almost accurate!) that he would talk to my parents if I needed him to and he would assure them I would be taken care of. How nice is that? God I love those boys! I might fall in love with all 5 of them after being with them every day for 3 months! Yes I'm kidding! You know what I was thinking? It's pretty weird that Nick's girlfriend wasn't around at all the time I was there. Not that I was looking forward to meeting her or anything, but you would think she would have been considering she lives in Florida. He didn't even mention her at all. Hmm interesting. I don't know what's worse though, him having a girlfriend or being single. Him being off limits does simplify my life a little. Not that I think he's interested in me either way. Note to self- remove Nick from my brain!
See ya in PR!
Konfused Kristina
April 27, 1999
Reality bites Diary!
I can't concentrate in school, all I can think of is 5 certain gorgeous guys (2 of them most of the time). It's so hard to just fall back into normal life after the weekend I had! And what's harder is I have to censor myself and I have to be super aware of it. Of course I want to be gushing about it! But at the same time I don't need fake girls trying to be my friend just because of who I know. Pretty much everyone knows I met Howie by now, but they just think it was a one time thing. Only my closest friends know the truth and where I was this past weekend. And absolutely no one knows about the Nick thing. There's no way I can trust anyone with that. So I'm basically going crazy thinking about things I can't tell anyone about. I'm talking to the parents about Europe tonight. It took them 2 days to decide that I could go to Orlando for a weekend, I can't imagine how long it will take to decide if I can go to Europe for 3 months! I'll keep Kev on speed dial in case I need him to convince them haha. I love that they all seem to want me to go. I love those boys. Gotta go, Howie's calling. Send Europe vibes to mom and dad!
Howie's (not Nick's) girl,
Kristina
Author's Chapter Notes:
Kristina gets to Orlando and the confussion begins! This chapter is now complete.
