The four of them had dinner at Nick's. It was a quiet meal and Taylor easily picked up on the tension. As they sat in the living room afterwards, Nick finally broached the subject. Kevin and Jamie supported him and hoped to head off breakdowns in all directions.

Nick wanted Taylor to know so many things. Not just the facts about his relationship with Molly, but every reason he had for being with her, for confiding in her, and for not telling anyone sooner. He paced back and forth, expressing himself the best he knew how. His animated actions as he explained showed how nervous he really was. Obviously emotional, he stopped several times looking for some reaction from Taylor.

Taylor listened intently as he conveyed the story to her, Kevin and Jamie interjecting and attempting to clarify whenever Nick stumbled. She really didn't say much as she assimilated what they said. Consciously, she knew it shouldn't be that big of a deal and Taylor appeared to sit there quietly. But on the inside, her mind splintered into pieces, and each piece reacted differently.

The attorney part of her was furious. Nick had lied to her or neglected to tell her the whole truth. Holding back could have sent Kevin and Nick to jail. As for Taylor and Jamie, they could have been accused of misrepresentation to the court, and they could have both been disbarred. The consequences were huge, and Taylor was appalled by what could have happened. Knowing the full story behind the accusations, however, she knew that not much could come of this information. Bringing it to light now would hurt Molly more than anyone else, and in Taylor's mind bringing her more pain seemed totally unnecessary. Molly's conscience would do that with time, if it hadn't already.

As Nick's friend and lover, she was a little hurt. He had confided in someone else besides her. Deep down she knew that he didn't intend to hurt her emotionally. Nick was human and he was young, and he needed an outlet for all that had happened in the last several months. Taylor knew that Nick's reaction was reasonable. The hurt she felt would subside. This was not going to end their relationship.

But the most severe reaction came from the emotionally wounded, scarred and scared individual that Taylor had become over the past few months. None of this was Nick's fault, it was all because of Taylor. If she hadn't been so cold, so distant, so unreachable. If she hadn't pushed him away. If she hadn't stayed with Mike so long. If she had been a stronger person. If she was prettier or smarter or a million other things. If only she wasn't who she was. If, if, if. No, this wasn't Nick's fault, this was all Taylor's fault.

It wasn't so shocking or surprising to Taylor, it was just her premonitions coming true. In the back of her mind, she was convinced that this was merely a symptom of a larger problem, she just wasn't good enough for Nick. And now everyone knew what she had known all along; she wasn't good enough for anyone at all.

There wasn't much to say after Nick finished. Taylor's reaction was calm and she convinced everyone that she was fine, that she understood. Kevin and especially Jamie offered their love and support to Taylor before they left, allowing Nick and Taylor time to themselves.

Nick watched her as she got ready for bed. She had been quiet since Kevin and Jamie left and the silence was killing him. She moved around the room nervously. Finally, she pulled the blankets down on her side of the bed and just stood there with her head down.

"Taylor?" he asked quietly.

She lifted her eyes to look at him and he saw the blank stare that he had feared would return. He quickly moved over and reached out to touch her arm. "Taylor, can you ever forgive me?"

"No, Nick, I can't," she replied softly. His heart sank and he felt as if he couldn't breathe. He dropped his eyes but she quickly lifted his chin to force him to look at her. "There's nothing to forgive Nick. This wasn't your fault, I don't blame you for anything."

"But I know that. . ." he began.

"Stop Nick. Let it go okay?" She leaned down to kiss him tenderly, "just let it go." He returned her kiss, determined to show her just how much she really meant to him. As Taylor joined him in his quest to express his feelings, the voice echoed menacingly in the back of her mind. That's right Taylor, you know whose fault this is, don't you.

It was cold, and the rain blocked her vision. Taylor was in a field, surrounded by the forest, and she could hear someone coming closer to her. They were coming for her, but she couldn't move. She couldn't get away. The rain drove into her, feeling as if it would flay the skin from her bones. She was huddled in the middle of the field, curled into a small ball, as small as she could get. Perhaps if she made herself small enough, they wouldn't find her.

She looked up suddenly, and all she could see was a hand, reaching for her. Taylor opened her mouth and screamed, hoping the noise would scare whoever this was off. But it didn't, the hand came closer and closer to her. Finally she found she could move and as the hand almost touched her, she scurried backwards, acting like a frightened animal. She held her hands up in front of her, trying to protect herself. But still she was pursued, and she kept backing up and screaming. She had moved across the field, and now was at the edge of the forest. She felt a tree behind her, and she lowered her head, whimpering, and waiting for the inevitable.

Taylor raised her head and found herself on the other side of the forest. She stood on a patch of grassland, and there was a ledge of the cliff behind her. The noise from the driving rain was deafening, but soothing. It blunted the edges of her fear, and soon she was calm. Everything made sense, and she knew what needed to be done. The knowledge made her peaceful and serene.

A figure came stumbling through the brush, and she turned to see Nick standing before her. He stood there, blinking rapidly to get the rain out of his eyes. He was pale and shaking, and had the saddest look on his face. She smiled gently, knowing that it would all be fine. She moved slightly, and said to him, "I love you, Nick, and I want to thank you for trying to help me. You'll never know how much you meant to me. There's nothing you can do to help me now, but trust that I'll be fine." Nick's expression turned horrified as she spoke. He opened his mouth but no sound came out. She smiled again, and stepped backwards.

Free falling, she felt the sense of peace increase. She closed her eyes, still smiling, as the blackness enveloped her. "Wait for me, I'm almost there. Just hold on a little longer. . ."

Taylor woke with a start. She lay in bed, silently listening to the sounds around her. She thought about the dream, and realized it was the same one she had in the hospital. But now it all made sense, she understood what needed to be done. Moving quietly, she slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet, she reached for her medication. She stared at the little brown bottle in her hand for a moment, then opened it. She spilled all the white round pills into her hand, shifting them over her palm.

She lifted her hand, then turned it over, watching the pills fall into the toilet. A touch of the handle, and the pills swirled away down the drain. Taylor tossed the empty bottle in the wastepaper basket, ran some cold water over her face, and opened the door.

Nick was moving restlessly in bed, and suddenly he sat straight up yelling, "NO!" He looked around and saw that he was alone in the bed. Sniffling, he reached over to the space where Taylor had been. Taylor stood at the edge of the bed, looking concerned. "Nick? Are you all right?" Nick lifted his gaze to see Taylor standing there. He closed his eyes and shuddered.

"I'm. . .yeah, I'm fine. Just. . . just a dream," he said. He sat up, letting the sheet fall into his lap, and ran his hands over his face and in his hair. Taylor sat next to him, and gathered him in her arms.

"Nick, it's all right. Dreams are good, there's nothing to worry about." He looked at her and started to shake his head no, but looked into her eyes. She nodded, "It's all night, Nick. Just trust everything will be fine." His eyes rounded in shock; Taylor had said something similar in his dream, just before she disappeared over the edge.

Nick found the empty bottle the next morning, but Taylor assured him that it was alright, that she had merely finished up one prescription, and there was another one for her. In truth, there wasn't another bottle nor would there be. After the dream, Taylor decided there was no reason for the medicine any longer. The voice howled in victory, but she ignored it for the moment.

Before Nick left for the studio, he found her at the bay window, watching the waves roll onto the shore. He came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and nuzzled her neck before turning her to kiss her. She allowed him to take what he wanted from her, then broke the kiss gently. Nick was surprised, but seeing the flat look in her eyes, he misinterpreted it.

"I'm sorry, Taylor," he repeated.

She smiled faintly. "Yes, I know, you've said it countless times since last night. And I've told you there is nothing to be sorry for. I don't blame you." He nodded, and she turned back to the window.

He let go of her, "Well, I gotta go or I'll be late. See you tonight." And he was gone. See, he couldn't stand to be with you any longer than he has to. And you know why don't you? Taylor gritted her teeth, trying to shut out the voice.

The ringing of the phone was the distraction Taylor needed. The voice retreated back into the depths of her mind as she answered. "Hello?"

"Tails! What's up?" Jamie's bouncy tone got through to Taylor and she automatically reacted in kind.

She smiled, "You know you sound an awful lot like my best friend Jamie, but I know you can't be her, it's way too early in the day for you to be awake and talking, much less be cheerful about it."

Laughter rang out from the other end of the line. "What, you don't think I could ever be cheerful in the morning?"

"The only time you ever are is when you haven't gone to bed yet. . ."

"Oh, I've been to bed, Tails," snickered Jamie.

Taylor rolled her eyes, "Perhaps I should say when you haven't gone to sleep yet." A small fit of coughing sounded in Taylor's ear. "Busted! So why are you calling me anyway?"

"Well it wasn't to announce my nocturnal activities." Taylor bit her lip to keep from laughing outright. "I was calling, Taylor, because since I am awake and since my, um, nocturnal activity has decided to leave me and go to the studio and work, I thought perhaps I should do something equally as productive."

"And what did you have in mind?"

"The realtor found a couple more houses that I think we should look at. And this afternoon I need to go into the office and get some more stuff done so that we can finally get the office going full-time. Interested in joining me for these projects?"

As quickly as the happiness had come, it disappeared again, leaving Taylor with her desolation. The corners of her mouth turned down, and she replied softly, "I am, but I can't do it today."

"Why not?" asked Jamie, not noticing the change in attitude. Taylor hesitated for a moment, then replied, "There are things I need to get done around here."

"Oh, okay. Well, do you mind if I go scout out the houses then? If there are any I think you'd like, we can both go again later."

"Go ahead, knock yourself out. Have a good time."

"I will, and like I said, I'll let you know what I find. Talk to you later?"

"Sure," said Taylor, and ended the call. She returned to the window. She sounded happy that you weren't going with her, relieved even. No one wants you around, Taylor, there's nothing for you here. Nothing. Taylor closed her eyes, but the voice continued its endless taunting, telling her over and over again how worthless and unwanted she was. She opened her eyes, and stared blankly at the ocean, as the voice pulled her deeper into the undertow of despair.

Taylor stayed by the window all day, and when Nick returned home late that night, he assumed she had just gotten ready for bed and was waiting for him. She didn't resist when he led her upstairs to the bedroom, and said little when he began to make love to her. Her body reacted the way Nick expected, but her mind wasn't in it as Taylor retreated further and further into another depressive state. Having satisfied himself, Nick didn't seem to notice her lack of real response towards him. He held her as he fell asleep, but Taylor remained awake, imprisoned both by his grasp and the taunting voice.

The downward spiral continued the rest of the week. Taylor made excuses, leaving Jamie to househunt and set up shop on her own. Needing to do the work and feeling pressured to get it finished quickly, Jamie didn't realize Taylor was withdrawing into herself again. She accepted Taylor's excuses, and went on with her plans.

Nick was equally as busy, since the end of recording was in sight. He left early for the studio and came home late. He had no idea Taylor spent every day by the window listening to the voices and drowning in self-doubt, depression and despair. He noticed her sadness, but he chalked it up to her reacting to the situation with him and Molly. Nick believed that although she said it wasn't a problem and he wasn't to blame, that deep down she did blame him. He said nothing about it, partially because he was tired from working, and partially because he figured she would work through it and everything would be fine as she had said it would be. He was so blissful being in a relationship with Taylor that he failed to recognize it as being similar to her behavior when she first came to Florida.

The fifth night, Taylor had the dream again. She woke again with a start, and for once the voice was silent. She closed her eyes again, reveling in the serenity, and knowing what had to be done. Tomorrow, it would all be over.

Taylor looked carefully around the foyer, taking in as many memories as she could before she left. She breathed deeply, inhaling the scents of the place that brought her more happiness than she ever thought was possible for her. It smelled like Nick. . .and juniper berries, her two favorite things in the whole world. The cab driver honked the horn and she grabbed her bag and walked to the front door. She turned one last time, closed her eyes and said a prayer that Nick would be happy. All she had ever wanted was Nick's happiness. She opened her eyes, gave one last look, then walked out onto the front steps, shutting and locking the door behind her one last time.