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Jennifer held Nick's hand tight as she sobbed, unable to keep herself together any longer. It had been 48 dreadful hours since Nick had fallen off of the stage, and he still hadn't woken up. She was terrified, Brian was terrified, his mother was a wreck...and the doctor...the doctor would only say it didn't look good. "Nicky, please, I need you so much," she pleaded, kissing his hand. The doctor had told them to talk to him as much as possible, and so they had been working shifts, everyone spending some time sitting and talking to Nick alone.

"The doctor...he said you have to want to come back," Jennifer stopped for a moment to cry softly. She hadn't known she could care this much about another person, be so afraid of losing them...she'd never lost anyone like this before. She didn't want to. "I love you so much, Nicky, I need you. Please, if for no other reason, come back for me? I can't live without you..." her words trailed off, and she moved to the bed, curling up next to him and burying her head in his neck.

Jennifer ran her fingers across Nick's chest, sliding her hand under the hospital gown so she could feel his skin. "Oh, Nicky," she gasped, and held him tighter, feeling his skin cool to her touch. He normally felt so hot to her, she loved it...she always joked she didn't need a blanket when he was around, his body heat was more than enough. Now, he needed her to keep him warm. "You're so cold," she kissed his neck and shivered, rubbing his body, wishing he would react.

Not knowing what else to do, she began singing softly, the only song she could think of being the one that had brought Nick back to her. She sniffled as she sang, her heart breaking as she wondered if she would ever hear Nick sing the words again.

There's not a day that passes by
I don't wonder why we haven't tried
It's not too late to change your mind
And take my hand, don't say goodbye

"Don't say goodbye," she whispered, her sobs beginning in earnest again, and she gave up on singing, content with listening to Nick's heartbeat for a while. She gasped when she heard a raspy, but clear voice pick up where she had left off, singing the chorus,

I will love you more than that*

"Nick!" Jennifer sat up and looked at him, her mouth dropping open when she saw his blue eyes staring up at her. "You're awake!"

Nick smiled, his eyelids drooping slightly. "Barely. But I heard an angel singing..."

Jennifer threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, crying again, but with relief this time. "Oh god," she pulled away from him, her eyes wide. "I should go tell everyone, your mother..."

"Wait," Nick grabbed her hand and stopped her from leaving. "Jenny...what you said...you meant it?"

Jennifer stared at him in amazement, "You heard me?"

"Did you mean it?"

"Every word." She said firmly, squeezing his hand for emphasis.

"I love you too, Jenny," Nick whispered, looking at her hand in his. "No matter what happens, don't ever doubt that, ok?"

"Never, Nicky," She reassured him, before letting his hand go. "Let me go get your mom and everyone, ok?"

"Ok," Nick took a deep breath and lay back in the bed, wincing from the throbbing pain he felt all over. What the hell had happened...he looked himself over, his eyes widening when he remembered. He'd been dancing, his foot had gotten caught. He'd grabbed Kevin's hand...and then it went all fuzzy. He looked up when his mother entered the room and put the thought aside. Remembering something like that could wait. Now, he could just be glad to be alive.



"We can't go on tour without Nick!" Brian protested, staring at the other members of the group in amazement. "I can't believe you guys want to do this."

"As much as I hate to admit it, Kevin's right," Howie shrugged, looking at Brian with a resigned expression. "Nick might be able to pull off the last three weeks of the tour when he's recovered. But if we postpone for six weeks? He won't be able to do the full nine then."

"Then we postpone until he can!"

"That could be months, Brian," Kevin said firmly, shaking his head. "No, we'll pick up the tour day after tomorrow, and Nick can rejoin us when he's better."

"We can't leave Nicky here," Brian said softly, his eyes meeting Kevin's in a steady gaze. "Don't you care at all, anymore?"

"I love Nick, but I love this group too," Kevin replied evenly. "He'll understand."

"Would you?" AJ asked Kevin. He understood why they had to go back on tour, but he didn't like it, and he didn't like Kevin trying to convince them Nick wouldn't care. "I'd be pissed as hell."

"You'll tell him," Kevin told his cousin, "he'll take it best coming from you."

Brian glared at his cousin before turning on his heel and leaving the waiting room, finding Nick awake and talking to Jennifer. "Hey."

"Hey Rok," Nick smiled when he saw Brian come in, and waved him to a seat. "Park it."

"How are you feeling?" Brian asked, glad his friend was much more animated than he had been the last time he'd seen him.

Nick giggled and waved to the IV at his side. "Morphine. I'm doing great," he slurred his words slightly as he winked at Brian. "So, what's up?"

Brian took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair before answering. "We're going back on tour, Nick," he said softly.

Jennifer's face paled as she stared at him, "you're what?"

"You too," Brian looked at Jennifer, his eyes apologetic. "Day after tomorrow."

"I'm not leaving Nick," Jennifer said firmly, grabbing his hand and holding it tight. He would be having the operation on his leg in three days, and she would be here for him.

"Without me?" Nick said softly, his blue eyes wide as he looked at Brian.

Brian couldn't bear to meet Nick's gaze, and he fixed his eyes firmly on the floor as he nodded. "When you've recovered, you can join us, finish out the tour."

"The doctor said I'm in here for six weeks," Nick's voice was flat as he replied, realizing Brian was aware of that fact. "Six weeks worth of performances without me."

"I'm so sorry, Nicky," Brian whispered, his eyes filling with tears at the hurt in his best friend's voice.

"I don't want your pity," Nick spat out, shaking his head angrily. "Get out."

"Nick?" Jennifer gasped, squeezing his hand. "This is Brian..."

"You're his cousin," Nick shook his head, and waved to the door. "I'll see you in six weeks. Get out."

Brian got up and left the room without another word, closing the door firmly behind him.

"Nick, what..." Jennifer started, but he stopped her, covering her mouth with his hand. "What?"

"You have to go back on tour if they're going, you know that," Nick said softly, running a hand through her hair. "Stay with me until you have to go?"

"Of course, Nicky," Jennifer smiled as he pulled her into his chest, feeling eternally grateful she was able to feel his arms around her again. The terror she'd felt when she thought that feeling had left her forever...she would never forget that. "Six weeks, that'll go fast, right?"

Nick sighed, and rubbed her back. He still hadn't entirely figured out what was going on, and he wasn't exactly sure what he could do about it from a hospital bed, but...he'd have six long weeks to do it in. "Yeah, I bet it will."

* Lyrics from More Than That by Franciz & LePoint/Adam Anders ©2000