“They are here. They are outside waiting. I filled them in on what has been happening. They are just wanting to see you.” Ross told me.
“Can I see Alex first?” I whispered, trying to hold my tears inside. Ross nodded and he went outside the hotel room. My heart started to beat a million beats a second, feeling sick inside.
Moment of truth...the door slowly moved ajar. There stood Alex, no glasses or anything on, to me that was strange. His face was full of hope, relief. I just stood there in the middle of the room wondering what he would do.
“Thank god you’re alright!” He cried.
“I’m sorry!” I cried back as we held onto each other tight. We just didn’t let go. We clung onto each other for so long.
“You ok?” He asked through his tears.
“Now I am. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said before I left. It has been on my mind ever since I walked out. I couldn’t...” I rambled.
“Sshh! It’s alright. It’s ok.” He whispered.
One by one they all came in, Nick, Howie, Brian. I had never seen 4 grown men cry so much in all my life and I had been around. Once we all calmed down and all, Ross came back in the room. “Now for what happens...” He said.
“Ross, can you hold this off for a bit? Please?” I begged.
“Yeah ok. I’ll leave you to it. I got things to check on.
“If you knew how bad I felt...” I began to say as we all sat down on the couches near the windows, the grey curtains shut as per the request was made by Ross, Alex wanting me to sit on his lap not wanting to let me go, his arms holding me tight.
“The main thing is that you are here. You are here safe, and back with us.” Howie said cutting me in.
“Not even the girls or anyone knows we are back in touch with you.” Brian told me.
“What did you say to everyone about coming here?” I asked.
“I just said I wanted to stay here longer. Everyone knows I wanna stay here longer. When Lauren isn’t here with me and I come here, she tends to know that I hang around. She hates it, but what can ya do?” Nick laughed.
“We told the girls that we gotta fly down to Florida for promo at last minute. They were fine with that. Always are.” Brian told me.
“What about with the band and that for me?” I asked.
“I’ve just said to them that you had to go out of town for personal reasons. They pestered but I told them to quit it or else.” Nick told me.
“And when Nick says that, or else, he means it!” Howie exclaimed.
“Only for those I care about the most.” Nick added defending himself, giving me a wink.
“Uh oh. The Nick Carter wink.” Brian laughed.
“The Nick Carter wink?” Nick said.
You’ve heard about the Nick Carter wink, right Bri?” Alex asked me.
“What is this Nick Carter wink?” Nick freaked out. That brought us all into fits of laughter.
“You want to explain from a fan’s point of view?” Howie asked me.
“Ok, ok. The Nick Carter wink is when you wink, all the fans go crazy even more for you. They cry, they faint, they scream, begging for you to do it again.” I told Nick.
“WHAT! Ya serious!” Nick shrieked.
“Even Kevin knows!” Brian laughed.
“Oh god! Is it that bad?” Nick asked.
“Let me put it this way. You could stand up on stage, no one around ya, with only female fans, say nothing and do nothing only just wink and they will still scream and stuff.” Alex laughed.
“It’s true.” I giggled.
“You all know that when I come back to LA that I will have to go into hiding again, while the trial is on and all.” I asked a short time later.
“Yeah we do. Ross filled us in.” Howie replied as we sat around the dining table having dinner.
“On everything?” I asked looking around at the guys.
“Yes everything. Babe it’s alright, just relax.” Alex tried to reassure me.
“So while you have been here, what have you heard about us?” Brian asked.
“I have been hearing and seeing what has been out in the press. I haven’t been totally out of this world you know. Just Brianna has. Lisa has been here. I’ve heard the music, seen the interviews, been like a real fan. Just not in the way I was before Lisa arrived.” I assured him.
“That would have sucked!” Nick said.
“Don’t get me started. It was hard at first but I got there.” I replied.
“If it’s any consolation, you are incredible. I don’t think any of us could have done what you have done. Especially Nick.” Howie said.
“What is this? Why is everyone having a go at me?” Nick whined.
“It’s true. You couldn’t handle being a whole new identity, new life, new everything.” Brian told him.
“Sometimes I wish it could happen.” Nick sighed.
“We all do, but this is our life now.” Alex said.
As the guys left later that night, they all gave me big hugs before leaving Alex and I alone. We just wanted a few minutes to ourselves. “I wanted to tell you alone as it would only be us to know.” I said.
“What’s that?” Alex asked standing in front of me, brushing my hair away from my face.
“I haven’t been with anyone.” I told him.
“If you had, it would have been alright. You had to live a different life.” Alex replied.
“I couldn’t do that to you. After how I left...” I said.
“Sshh! It’s ok. I understand. Remember that is in the past.” Alex whispered pulling me closer in tight.
“When this is all over...” I began to say.
“When this is all over, we can continue where we left off.” Alex cut in before he kissed me on my neck moving up towards my lips, giving me a deep and meaningful kiss, making me feel weak in the knees. This was what I wanted. Then a gentle knock on the door.
“I don’t want you to go...” I whispered.
“It won’t be forever. I swear.” Alex said as he slowly parted from me. “I love you.” He added as he walked out the door. Once he was gone, I ran to the bed and cried my heart out.
“You knew it was only for today.” Ross reminded me.
“I know. I knew it would be hard but not this hard.” I cried, wiping my tears away.
“We better get going, get you back home.” Ross said. Getting up, he put a arm behind me and helped me to the awaiting car downstairs in the carpark.