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The next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes, sore to open. “Brianna, it’s Lauren. I’ll just call the nurses.” Lauren spoke pressing the button for the nurses. Moments later Lauren was being asking to leave, so the nurses could attend to me alone without freaking her out. I had a tube down my throat and had to bring that up. That was frightening.

“Alex? My baby?” I asked hoarsely, mouth dry. The nurses ignored my first question, just wanting to know about my observations.
“Alex? My baby?” I repeated. I tried to move my hands down but they were sore to move, trying to feel my stomach.
“Alex is recovering as well as can be expected. Unfortunately your injuries were to severe for your child.” A nurse told me as she held my hand. I couldn’t speak, tears just streamed down my face. I lost my child. Our child.
“I want to see Alex.” I begged.
“After you have had some rest.” Another nurse told me. I tried to fight the tiredness off but couldn’t.

Opening my eyes again, Lauren was there sitting in the chair next to me. “Hi sweetie.” She said.
“You know?” I asked her.
“We all do. We’re so sorry.” Lauren replied getting out of the chair, taking hold of my hand sitting on the side of the bed with me.
“Alex, he know?” I asked. Lauren nodded.
“How is he? No one has told me anything. Lauren you have to tell me.” I pleaded with her.
“He’s been better. It’s not a pretty sight, I’m not lying to you. He’s got a few burns, had a few skin grafts and still more to come, broken ribs. Otherwise he is doing alright. He’s just more worried about you.” Lauren replied.
“I want to see him. I want to see him now.” I told her.

Few minutes later, I was being wheeled into Alex’s room. He just lay there, on his back, his eyes closed. “No glasses, that’s a first.” I tried to make a joke as the nurse wheeled me in, Lauren not far behind us. Holding Alex’s hand, I just sat there. Saying nothing.

“You ok?” Alex asked me waking up sitting up slowly.
“Yeah. I know.” I replied quietly saving him to ask the question. Alex remaining silent.
“When you wake up?” He asked a few minutes later.
“Lauren says about 4 hours ago. No one would let me see you until now. She’s called the guys to let them know I’m awake.” I replied. For the first time we didn’t know what to say to each other. I don’t know if it was the shock of the loss of our child, the drugs making us sleepy or what.

“Has he spoken to the guys?” I asked Lauren as we were going back to my room.
“Not really. They are concerned though.” Lauren replied.
“Has he told you anything?” I asked.
“Nope nothing. Bri, I’ll let you go and get some rest. I’ll come back in the morning alright.” Lauren replied.
“Ok. Thanks for staying here. How are the guys? Where are they?” I asked.
“Ah you know them. Putting on brave faces, letting everyone they are alright, show must go on.” Lauren replied leaving down to give me a hug.
“Must be weird with just the three of them on stage.” I commented.
“Kevin decided to come out of early retirement to help out. Three looked weird. Everyone around the world is wanting him back full time, and cursing themselves that Kevin is doing it.” Lauren replied.
“Knew he would make a comeback. Where are they tonight?” I asked.
“Brisbane. Final night. Tomorrow head off to South Africa.” Lauren replied and left.

When Lauren left, I realised I was on my own. I can’t remember the last time I was on my own. I had found out Alex’s and my child had died in the crash, the driver had died, Alex had burns to his arms and broken ribs, they guys were continuing on with the tour. Lauren stayed on in Melbourne at Nick’s insistence so I would have someone with me when Alex couldn’t. I remained motionless all night long.

Next morning, just finished showering and the Dr’s came and checked on me when Lauren came in.
“Told ya, I’d be back. How you doing?” She asked as she hugged me.
“Yeah alright, I saw Alex last night but we just said nothing. How’d last night go for the guys?” I replied.
“Why don’t you ask you themselves?” Lauren replied opening the door and Kevin, Howie, Brian and Nick walked in.
“When Loz called and told us, we agreed to come down here this morning before heading off.” Brian told me.
“It wasn’t even a thought or anything. Actually I don’t know what. I think we all knew that we wanted to see you right away, well the first moment we could.” Nick said rambling on. That brought a laugh to me. If there was anyone that could make me laugh, it would be Nick and Brian.
“Now, we know you would be mad as angry for missing out on the shows and all so we did something for ya...” Howie told me going into his pocket and grabbing something out.
“Leighanne and Leigh took footage of the concerts we have done here and thought you would want to see.” Brian continued.
“Thankyou guys so much.” I replied quietly.
“How you doing? Seriously.” Kevin asked.
“More worried about Alex but give him time. I know about everything and all. Nick, thanks for having Lauren stay here, you didn’t have to do that.” I replied, turning to look at Nick.
“We couldn’t have you all alone.” Nick said as Lauren leant on him. The guys spent about an hour with me before Howie reminded them they had to go and get a flight back to Sydney to go to Johannesburg.
“We saw AJ before we saw you as we knew he would be going for treatment now.” Brian explained when I asked about what about Alex. Hugging me again, they all left, Lauren just stepping out to say goodbye to the guys and especially Nick.

“You know, when we all found out about the accident, Nick didn’t ask about AJ, it was you.” Lauren told me when we were setting her laptop up to watch the concert.
“Really? Weird.” I replied shocked.
“Your his best gal pal, next to me of course.” Lauren laughed slightly.
“Wow. Didn’t know that.” I added as the concert began.

I was discharged from hospital a week later after my injuries went down and could handle some of my daily tasks, Alex was still requiring treatment. We were talking but slowly. It was like we were strangers or something. We had counsellors to help us but Alex wasn’t interested. I tried to make some kind of conversation about the guys but Alex wouldn’t comment or make any remark. After many failed attempts, I ended up making the decision to leave Melbourne, joining everyone in Europe. Alex and I just ended up in arguments.