Arriving in Los Angeles, I saw Alex being taken away by officials to the psychiatric centre, hand cuffed, before I left the aircraft, starting my life in Los Angles again alone. But at least I had a home. I didn’t feel right living in Alex’s place but his Mum assured me it wouldn’t be a problem.
Nick wanted to start my music career again. It was time for a new promo, single, the works. He thought by starting into things almost immediately, it would show people that I can lead a life and show people I am continuing on with my life. He needed it too. Since the incident in Vienna, Nick hadn’t been the same, almost spending his time in the studio, working on his solo album, almost wanting to stay in the studio, either at his place down in the basement or in the studio in Santa Monica. Lauren tried to understand and stand by Nick but she couldn’t handle on how Nick became a recluse. They separated but wanted to remain friends.
Nick would only talk to the guys and I. He wouldn’t even talk to his family. Aaron was in a similar situation a few years ago that not many knew about and Aaron couldn’t even talk to Nick. The guys had sort of moved on and were moving on with things. The only other person that was still troubled with the situation was me.
Almost towards the end of Alex’s stay at the rehabilitation centre, there was a family conference on his progress. Denise and I were sticking by with Alex, the guys not really mentioning Alex. I just never brought it up as they were now angry at him. It caused dramas for me sometimes but I learnt not to say anything. Just go on with daily life.
The day of the family conference, Denise picked me up, she knew where we she was going. I hadn’t seen Alex all this time. It was almost like when it was back when I was in Witness Protection. I had heard of the name where Alex was but family weren’t allowed there so he could rehabilitate.
Arriving there, Denise and I were anxious on how Alex would react to us being there. We had been told he was aware of us coming and he was looking forward to it. I didn’t even tell the guys about this. When I was asked where I was going, I said I had something to do and needed to take care of. They questioned me but I didn’t give in.
In the family meeting room, Alex was standing across the room looking outside the sunshine and all. Alex had somewhat changed. For the better. He was no longer wearing the bandages from where the burns were and he looked healthier. There was a new glow on him. His Psychiatrist and counsellor were there along with his case manager for when he leaves in two weeks time.
“Hi Mom.” Alex said to Denise when he saw her, no sunglasses in sight.
“How you doing sweetie?” She asked giving him a hug.
“Doing good. Doing good.” He replied nodding his head.
“Missed you.” Denise said.
“Me too.” He whispered holding onto her. Moments later, she let go and stood aside. She too, was wondering how this would go when/if he talked to me.
“Hi.” I said.
“Hi.” He replied gently smiling at me.
“It’s good to see you.” I remarked standing in front of him.
“Same here.” Alex replied, slowing moving in to put his arms around me. It felt so good. 6 months since this had happened. I didn’t want to let go but he let go.
The Doctor explained what Alex had been doing in the Psychiatric centre and here at the rehabilition centre. Alex had been diagnosed with a psychiatric condition but with treatment had recovered from that. The demanding schedule for the guys, pressures on Alex himself as a person of what the media and public expected of him. His counsellor continued on how to approach things when situations arise and how Alex can be more assertive when he feels the pressure of things getting on top of him. His case manager went over everything and had agreed with Alex to see him when he got out on a regular basis.
“When Alex was in therapy, he talked about something and he wanted to tell Brianna.” His case manager added.
“Oh?” I remarked, shocked.
“We’ll leave you two alone.” Kelly his case manager added and got up along with Denise, the psychiatrist and the counsellor.
For a short few moments, it was quiet, awkward, didn’t know what to say to each other. Deep inside me I wanted to hold him. I wanted to be with him, be in his ar to ms.
“How have you been?” He asked as he looked out the window again.
“Yeah doing ok. Getting there. What about you?” I replied moving closer towards him.
“Same, be glad when out of here though. What about the guys?” He replied. How could I say the guys didn’t want to talk to him? Talk about him?
“It’s ok, I probably know the answer.” He said a few minutes later when I was trying to come up with the words without trying to hurt his feeling.
“I’m sorry.” I apologised, my right hand on top of his right shoulder.
“No need to be sorry. It happened last time when I was in rehab, the first time. You remember that?” He replied asking me.
“Yeah, saw that. My heart bled for you.” I replied.
“It’s alright. The first time was bad when I got out, but I think this will take a bit more than last time.” He sighed turning around to face me.
“Give them time.” I said.
“Yeah.” He sighed.
“So what did you want to talk to me about alone?” I asked a few minutes later when silence happened again.
“I want to explain about the accident, why I changed from the time of the accident.” Alex replied.
“You don’t have to, it was just one of those things that happened...” I began to explain.
“Something happened Bri, and I want to tell you. I owe it to you. Especially after all the shit I put you through. This is why I wanted to tell you on your own. Tell now before I come home.” Alex cut in.
“Ok...” I replied sitting down facing Alex who was sitting next to me, facing me.
“After we were hit, I must have been knocked out for a bit as when I realised what had happened, I got no sign of the driver of showing signs of him being alive and I couldn’t move. I was in the backseat next to you and I know I shouldn’t have but I turned myself round to face you to see if you were alright. You were unconscious but you were breathing. Fortunately an off duty nurse witnessed the accident and came to help us after calling for help. She looked on you and realised that because of the impact of the shock from the accident, you were having contractions and you were dilated already. The next thing when the paramedics and everyone arrived....” Alex began to explain starting to choke at this point.
“SSh...Alex, its ok.” I whispered holding his hands, tears down my face.
“I want to.” He managed to say, eyes looking down on the ground.
“Ok.” I said.
“When the paramedics arrived, our baby was already crowning. I wanted to be with you but I was being treated and then taken away. The burns were from the lighter I had in my shirt pocket. When I got to the hospital, I asked and asked about you and our child until I pestered them. With the help you had at the accident site, our son was born.” Alex saying in between choking up, tears welling up in his eyes. I couldn’t talk or anything.
“Son.” I cried looking at him. We just put our arms around each other and cried til we could cry no more. We agreed no one would never know what happened.
“You alright?” Denise asked on our way home from the centre that night.
“Just been a big day, didn’t realise it would be this big.” I replied turning round to face her, as she drove back to Santa Monica.
“I think you did really well. Honestly, I don’t think any of Alex’s girlfriends in the past could have handled on what you have gone through these past few months. Sticking around even after what happened in Europe.” Denise told me.
“I love him. I knew there was something more to what was going on and all.” I explained.
“I know you do.” She smiled at me.
Back home at Alex’s place, it felt strange. I couldn’t explain on how I was feeling. I was feeling elated that Alex would be home, where he belonged, emotional after what he said happened and what he witnessed at the crash site and anger towards the guys for leaving Alex high and dry.
On the computer at home I was emailing some people and on twitter answering fans tweets when Brian pulled up in the driveway. It wasn’t strange to see the guys late at night like around 11pm.
“Hey, how are ya?” He asked as I let him in.
“Yeah alright, you? Shouldn’t you be home with Leighanne?” I replied as we walked into the kitchen.
“Leigh and Bay are at her folks for a few days. “ He replied.
“Bay would like that.” I remarked.
“Yeah. You and Denise saw AJ today didn’t ya?” He asked.
“What?” I replied.
“No need to lie to me. It was pretty obvious. Not exactly saying where you were going today, AJ’s nearly finished his stay at the centre. I’m not that crazy Bri.” Brian replied.
“Ok, yeah I did see him.” I said as we walked into the living room with our drinks sitting on the couch, Alex’s dogs running around.
“How’d it go?” He asked.
“It went well. Made some progress. He’s gonna be alright.” I replied.
“That all?” Brian asked wanting more information.
“It’s up to Alex to tell you. There are a few things he mentioned to me that will only remain between the two of us. All I can say is, Alex witnessed a few unpleasant things at the crash site and something actually happened to him causing an injury but he is alright.” I explained.
“How is he?” Brian asked.
“Looking forward to coming back home, that’s for sure. You will notice something different about him. I am not saying anything. Will have to find out when he is home.” I replied.
“How are you?” Brian asked putting a hand out to touch my arm, showing concern.
“Be glad when I have him back and we can start again.” I told him.