Christine's eyes flew between the doctor and Nick, and then they settled on Lexie.

"I. . .I don't know what to say."

"What's so tough about it? Why did you just dump CJ with Jill and just leave? No explanation, nothing!" Nick demanded. Lexie reached out and laid a hand on his arm. He sat back from the edge of the couch.

"I got scared, I. . ." She stammered. "I don't know what to say!"

"Maybe I should leave." Lexie said suddenly as she looked over at the doctor. "This is really between them."

"Would that make it easier on you, Christine?"

Christine, her eyes down cast, remained silent and just nodded in agreement. Without a word, Lexie got up and headed into the office. Nick's eyes followed her.

Is she going to call him?

"Tell us, Christine, why did you leave Nick and CJ?" Dr. Sanford asked.

Christine sat back in the seat and rubbed her eyes and gathered her courage. Should she tell him the truth? After all these years and everything that has happened, should she just tell him? She didn't look at him when she spoke.

"I never loved Nick. Being with him was. . .was what is expected in the entertainment business. I was a model, he was a musician and it worked. We made an aesthetically pleasing couple."

Nick's jaw dropped, and he was momentarily stunned. A million scenarios had run through his head over the years, the most common was that she left him for someone who didn't want children.

He regained himself and demanded to know, "Then why did you ever have a child with me?!"

"I didn't mean to, it was an accident. I had always been careful, even when you weren't." She pointed out. "After she was born, you were never around. You were off jetting around being Nick Carter."

"I was working on my career!"

"If you're honest, you'll admit you never loved me, either." Her voice was so quiet, but Nick's continued to rise.

"That's not true! I loved you. I was devastated when you left." Nick couldn't believe it. He had loved her. He instantly remembered how shy and beautiful she was and how she used to make him forget about all of the stress of being him. She gave him something else to focus on and something else to love.

"You never really admitted it before. Let's face it, Nick. You were different than you are now. You were arrogant, and at times you were mean. I couldn't live with you any more. I couldn't stand you and how you would talk to me."

Driven to silence, Nick knew what she meant. He hadn't been to her what he was to Lexie. Nothing compared to his relationship with Lexie.

"I never wanted to have his baby. By the time I left I could barely stand him and the thought of being linked to him forever. . ." Christine looked over at the doctor. "I didn't know. I didn't know then what it was like to love a child. I didn't understand until I had a child with someone I truly loved what it really meant. It was easy for me to walk away from the baby because she really only belonged to Nick."

"I just got tired of him picking at me, criticizing me all the time. Even when we were first together he told me what to do and what not to do. It was all about his image and nothing about us, nothing about us being a family with the baby." Christine began to cry. "I think leaving was the best thing I could have done for you. In spite of how you've treated Lexie these last couple weeks, you're not nearly as bad as you used to be. You're a good father, Nick. You're a good father."

Stunned, Nick simply sat back into the plush couch.

"That's very good, Christine. Nick? Do you have something to say to her now?"

He shook his head no.

"Anything?"

"No, it's all true. I was a bastard. I was a bastard to her." He snorted. He crossed his long legs, his left ankle resting on his knee as his head rested in his hand, his fingers rubbing his eyes. "Lexie is the first woman to ever stand up to me."

"What do you want to tell CJ about her mother leaving?"

"How do we tell her that her parents never loved each other?" Christine sobbed. "That I didn't love her enough to stay or take her with me?"

"We have to come up with something to tell her." The doctor insisted. "I think telling her that you're sorry might be a good start."

"I am sorry. I'm so sorry!"

"We'll tell her that we were young and made some bad decisions and that she was the best thing to happen to both of us." Nick offered.

"That's good. I think if you stay within those lines, you'll be doing well." Dr. Sanford agreed. "Children need to know that they are loved and accepted. She needs to know that your decision to leave had nothing to do with your feelings for her, only your feelings for Nick. Children do well when they are told that sometimes grown ups don't get along and it's better that they live apart. In your case, Nick and Christine, you need to tackle the fact that Christine left without further contact."

"Yeah, why didn't you try to contact us sooner, before you were sick?" Nick asked.

"I. . .I just didn't know how. Time passed and I'd see you in the entertainment news on tour with CJ and she looked happy and healthy." Christine shrugged. "I didn't want to fight you, Nick. I knew you and how cruel you could be."

"God, did I make it that impossible for you?"

"At times."

"I'm sorry, Christine." Nick said suddenly. He sat close to the edge of his couch and as close to her as he could get without moving off of it. "I never meant to hurt you. I was a bastard, and I'll admit it. I don't think I ever learned what unconditional love was until CJ. I owe you for her, even if you do hate my guts."

"Jesus, how's it going?" Jake asked over the phone.

"She was yelling at him for a while. It's quiet now." Lexie said.

"Do you know what she said?"

"No, I can't hear them in here. How was your flight?"

"Good. I slept most of this morning."

"I think you were still sleeping when I called you." She smiled.

"I was actually just studying. Just concentrating. Has Nick asked about us?"

"No, not at all. I don't know what he thinks about us, but with CJ figuring things out and the doctor here, we haven't had time to talk about much else."

"You're still going to deny it, aren't you?"

"Of course, I wouldn't do that to you."

"Me? You're worried about me?" He laughed.

"I don't know what Nick would do if he ever found out, and there are others to consider as well. What about your dad and your family?"

"He'd probably chalk it up to being a chip off the old block."

"You did not just say that."

"I did. You know my Dad is seeing someone. He told me when we were on vacation. He's probably going to divorce my mom this summer."

"I know, you told me."

"Hey, maybe I can blame it on being from a broken home."

"Hell, so can I." They laughed as they shared the joke.

"I sure miss you." He said suddenly. All I want to do is be there with you again, even though I know I can't.

"I miss you, too."

"Oh, damn! I gotta go. I promised to cover a shift at the college station tonight. I gotta be there in about 20."

"Okay, you'd better go."

"I'll see you, bye. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Heart racing, Jake hung up his cell phone. God, he hated lying to her like that, but he had to keep his sanity. Even on the phone his mind was racing back to the hours they had spent making love.

The doctor sent for Lexie, and together they formed a plan to answer all of the questions they thought CJ would ask. They formed answers on Christine leaving and never contacting them, to where Scotty was going to live, and what Scotty's name was going to be.

Scott Thomas Carter.

They covered the topics of Christine's disease, her death, and helping Scotty transition into his new family. She suggested they start including him in activities with Nick, Lexie, and CJ.

"Is there anything else you want to cover?" The doctor asked them. "I wouldn't worry too much. I think you have a good plan, and CJ sounds as though she will be able to handle it fine. It might not go perfectly and she may think of more questions later, but just take it slow and easy and admit when you don't have the answer. I'd like to schedule a follow up appointment with all of you on Friday, if I could."

"Uh. . . we can't. Nick's video is shooting on Friday." Lexie said.

"That's fine, I'll cancel it."

"No, no. How's Thursday? Is that better?"

"Yeah, I can reschedule things on Thursday."

"Good. I can come back, talk to the children, and see how things are going."

Everyone agreed it was fine. Nick and Lexie walked the doctor to the door with their promise to call her if they needed her. Nick offered to take Christine back to the pool house while Lexie took a break in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Nick." Christine pleaded with him as he helped her back to the pool house. He opened the door and led her in without a word. "God, please say something. Please say you forgive me."

"It's done now." He said sharply. He got her to the couch and gently laid a blanket across her lap.

"It's all my fault, and I'm sorry. Please don't blame Lexie any more. I owe her so much. . ." Christine began to sob. "I don't deserve her kindness, I don't deserve any of this."

"Goddamn it, Christine, stop crying." He snapped suddenly. God, where had she heard that before? It didn't work. She continued to sob until Nick left her crying alone on the couch.

"Where are you going?" Lexie asked as she and Cook stood in the dinning room and watch him stomp through the house.

"I'm fuckin' going out!" He snapped as he continued through the house. They heard him jangle car keys as he sorted through them on the rack inside the laundry room. The automatic garage door opener clicked, the gears opened the door and then they heard the familiar roar of one of the Porsches.

"He'll be back." Cook said to break the silence. Lexie didn't say a word. "You want some ice cream?"

Lexie swallowed hard and just shook her head 'no'. "I'd better go check on Christine."

Lexie headed to the pool house, knocked, and then let herself in. She found Christine sobbing alone. Gently, Lexie sat at the foot of the couch and stroked her leg.

"What did he say?" Lexie asked gently.

"Nothing, it's not him." Christine waved a thin hand at her.

"Then what happened?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are you in here crying and he's just left in one of the Porsches?"

"I just wanted his forgiveness. . ." She sobbed. "He can't forgive me, Lexie. He can't forgive me for leaving."

"It's tough for everyone right now. He needs time to digest it all, that's all." Lexie sighed. Christine began to struggle to get out from under the blanket and get her feet on the floor. "Where are you going?"

"I have papers to give you." She wiped her eyes, and Lexie followed her into the bedroom. She shifted through her top dresser drawer as Lexie sat on the bed.

Christine handed Lexie Scotty's birth certificate and other records for vaccinations and health. She handed Lexie her will and told her to read it. It already had Nick and Lexie written in as gaining custody of Scotty.

"I have some funds for him. It's not much, but you and Nick can do whatever you want with them." She stood at the foot of the bed with a bundle of letters wrapped in a silk ribbon. "I wrote him some letters. Will you give them to him when he's older? Maybe when he's 18 or something?"

A lump caught in Lexie's throat. Scotty at 18. She'll never know what he's like and she's his mother. Lexie blinked back the tears and nodded as she took them.

"There are some for CJ, too. Maybe they will make more sense to Nick than what I said to him today. They are in there, too. You can read them, I don't care."

"No, they are for the children." Lexie choked on her words. "I'll put them away for them."

"I have one more document with my lawyer to give him when he's 18 years old." Christine continued. "It tells him about my family, about where I came from."

"Why wait?"

"My parents. . .it's hard to explain. I haven't spoken to my family in years, Lexie. Even Nick doesn't know about them. I want it this way. I don't want them near Scotty until he's an adult."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. They'd fight for him. I want him here with you and Nick. They might even go after CJ. I don't have anyone else for them but Nick, and I know he won't want them around. You don't want them around."

"Who are they?"

"No one as far as I'm concerned." She snorted.

"What about his father?" Lexie finally asked. Christine just furrowed her brow at her question. "Scotty's father? Does he know he has a son?"

"No. He's married. It's better he not know either. He'll interfere with you and Nick."

"The court will ask."

"No, they won't. As long as I state in my will that he's had no contact with Scotty and you two are his legal guardians, then they won't ask. He's absentee." Christine explained. "I had my lawyer look into it."

Lexie fingered the silk ribbon holding the letters, caressing the fine paper the letters were written on. Silence fell on the two women, and neither one was willing to break it.

"He also told me to tell you who Scotty's father is. He told me for health reasons it would be important." Christine sighed. "I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell Nick until after I'm gone."

"What?!" Lexie snapped as her dark head flew up to look at her. "Are you insane? I can't keep any more secrets from Nick?! No! Don't tell me!"

Lexie scrambled from the bed and past her, but Christine grabbed Lexie's arm.

"Listen to me, Lexie, this is important."

"No!" Lexie screamed. "Don't you understand what this could cost me?! I barely have him back now! I should have never done this! Never!"

Christine held on to Lexie the best she could with both hands and shook her, "Listen to me! Promise me, Lexie! Swear to me you won't tell Nick until later! I don't care what you do once I'm gone, but he'll never forgive me for this! Never! I have to have some forgiveness before I die. Nick will never understand!"

"No, no, no. . .please, Christine, please don't ask me to do this. . ." Lexie began to cry, laying her head on the dying woman's shoulder.

"He loves you, Lexie. Nick will forgive you. He'll never forgive me." Christine smoothed Lexie's hair. "Please keep this secret until I'm gone."

"I can't. . ." Lexie sobbed.

"I'm begging you, Lexie."

"No, I'll lose him. I can't lose him, Christine. I can't live without him."

Both women fell to their knees as they cried in the pool house bedroom. "I can't take this with me."

"Tell someone else, don't tell me." Lexie continued to sob and shake her head.

"I can't. I don't have anyone else. You are all I have, Lexie. You are all Scotty has." Christine lifted Lexie's head off her shoulder and wiped her eyes. "I'm so sorry I have to ask you do to this, but you'll understand why."

Lexie's eyes were dark pools of liquid, each brimming with even more tears.

"I can see why Nick loves you so much." Christine mused. "Understand that I loved Scotty's father as much. Lexie, his father never really loved me, so in a way that Nick doesn't know, I understand what he's going through. I'm not doing this for me or for Scotty's father. I'm doing this for my baby. I don't want to hurt you, but someone other than me has to know."

Lexie didn't move. She didn't nod. She never agreed that she wanted to know, but Christine told her anyway.

"Scotty's father is Kevin Richardson."