The next morning, Nick sat on the bed staring at the telephone, twisting the end of his ponytail around his fingers. Lexie was downstairs already, going over things with Cook and letting the film crew into the house. She told him they were setting up in the living room to use the ocean view as a backdrop. He hadn't made his entrance yet. He knew by waiting until the last minute that was exactly what he would be doing. Making an entrance was something he had learned to do years ago.

Lexie had been up very early, getting ready, taking care of the children, and letting Christine's nurse into the pool house. He had helped pick out her outfit for the interview. A tailored light blue blouse, cream slacks and heels, with her dark hair falling down her back to her waist made her look cool and calm. Nick knew she was neither.

"What makes you think Christine has?" Those words from the ride home had stuck with him. What made him think he had? What made him think he had forgiven her for leaving him and leaving CJ?

Nick rose from the bed, walked calmly to the veranda, and stared out into the ocean. He caught his reflection in the glass of the French doors. He looked cool and calm too, but he knew he was neither.

Vicki arrived on time at 10:00 a.m. and waved from the limo as she stepped from it. Lexie waited for her on the front stoop, returning the wave. Vicki turned to her producer, Mark, and said, "She looks terrible."

"I told you the rumors."

"God, I hoped they aren't true."

Vicki gathered herself up, slung her briefcase over her shoulder, and headed across the driveway to greet Lexie.

"Hi, sweetheart, how are you doing?" Vicki smiled as she hugged the slender girl. "This place is gorgeous. I think you've really out done yourself."

"You haven't even seen the inside yet." Lexie laughed, letting go of her and leading her inside.

Lexie took Vicki to the kitchen and introduced her to an eager Cook. "This is Cook, our. . . cook." Lexie smiled. "She's the reason you smell all those wonderful things coming from in here."

"Oh, you didn't have to go to any trouble for us." Vicki shook her hand.

"Speak for yourself!" One of the cameramen said as he walked by with one of Cook's muffins stuffed into his mouth.

"Okay, well, I guess I can't speak for my crew." And everyone laughed.

Vicki looked up the staircase when she saw movement from the corner of her eye. Nick easily loped down the stairs making a presence much as stars are expected to do. Vicki had spoken with her assistant director via the phone several times before arriving. He said that he hadn't seen Nick all morning. Vicki knew he would wait until the last minute. Interviewees seldom ever met her at the front door. They usually swept in and out of the room at the beginning and end of the interview by management. Lexie had none of that pretense.

She was just a young girl, even when she introduced Vicki to the statuesque Nick Carter.

"This is my husband, Nick Carter," she beamed.

"It's nice to meet you." Vicki shook his hand and met his gaze. Yes, he was well schooled at this. His tall frame was draped in a simple button down shirt and gray slacks with black Italian loafers. He was a star.

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Winslow." He smiled warmly.

"I see they set up in the living room. My God, Lexie, this view is amazing and that pool with all that natural rock. How did you ever find this place?"

Nick hung back and off to one side, watching the crew finish their final checks before they began to film. A hand-held camera operator followed the two women at a discreet distance. He wondered if Lexie was aware that he had been following her around and taping her.

"Sheer luck," Lexie laughed as she led Vicki out to the deck.

"We are definitely going to have to get some shots out here." Vicki nodded as she scanned the back property, taking in the multi-layered decks, the natural rock pool and hot tub, the pool house, jungle gym and the manicured lawn. She noticed a movement in the pool house window and realized a woman was looking back at her. Christine James. People were wondering what had happened to her. "So, there are a few things I have to go over with you first. I don't want anything to be too much of a surprise or anything."

"Oh, good. I'm a little nervous," Lexie admitted.

"Honey, don't worry about it. I've done hundreds of these. It gets easy after a while," she joked. The two women sat at a table at the far corner of the top deck, and Vicki removed some papers from briefcase.

"I have the interview all memorized, but there are some things I want to ask you about first." She finished shuffling papers and looked directly at Lexie. "There is a rumor that Nick's ex-girlfriend, Christine James, is here and she's dying."

Lexie looked shocked, surprised and horrified all at once.

"It's true?!" Vicki gasped quietly. She was surprised at Lexie's response and at the fact that it might actually be true. "Oh, my. I really thought it was a rumor. I mean, she just dropped out of sight. . ."

"Yes, she's here, but I don't want to talk about it in the interview," Lexie said firmly.

"How did that ever happen?" Vicki asked in honest disbelief.

"She. . . she contacted us back when we were living in L.A. She is dying and she wanted to see CJ before she passed away. We're just giving her the chance to know her daughter a little."

"I don't believe you let Nick bring his ex-girlfriend here, dying or not."

"It was my idea," Lexie confessed. "I really don't want to talk about this in the interview, Vicki. I don't want to do anything to hurt the children."

"Children?" Vicki asked. "There is more than one?"

"She has a son, a four-year-old."

"What's going to happen to him?"

"We're going to adopt him. He is CJ's half brother. It seems like the right thing to do."

"And that was your idea, too?"

"She asked us, and we agreed to do it," Lexie replied firmly. Vicki assessed Lexie's reply and her demeanor over the topic. Lexie moved from surprised to honest and then to determined. . .determined not to talk about it. "I won't allow a spectacle to be made of her dying. I don't want to talk to you about this in the interview."

"As I said before, this interview is about you. Not about Nick or anything else. We're going to tell your story, Lexie." Vicki closed her notes and folded her hands over the folder. "You are truly amazing, Lexie."

"No, no I'm not." Lexie denied it. She tucked loose strands of hair behind her ears. If Vicki really knew what she was capable of, she wouldn't say that. She wouldn't say that at all.

Lexie sat on the white leather couch at an angle to Vicki, who was sitting in the matching chair. Cook found a throw to put on the couch behind her to soften the white of the couch and the cream of her slacks for the cameras. Vicki's stylist brushed out her hair and clipped the hair around her face back, lightly feathering her bangs. She powdered Lexie's nose and then did touch ups on Vicki as well.

Nick stood behind a camera, watching Lexie laugh as Vicki joked about how much she disliked being fussed over by the stylist. The stylist, a woman close to Vicki's age, told her not to come to her when she got her next big zit. When the lights flooded on Lexie, Nick was struck at how she suddenly looked very vulnerable. Her eyes went wide as she looked around and watched the crew, and he suddenly realized what other people saw when they looked at her. She's so young.

She smiled prettily for the cameras and nodded nervously to Vicki as her producer signaled them to begin. Vicki explained to her the kind of voice over they would have to introduce the story and that's where the interview would begin.

"I'm going to script it so that we intro into asking about DJ and then we will just progress through the questions. Are you ready?" Lexie nodded, "Okay, Mark, whenever you're ready. " Her producer gave her the signal.

"It's been over a year, do you still think of the baby you lost?"

"Not so much these days." Lexie shrugged. "Life goes on."

"Here, so far from Los Angeles where she was buried, you don't have much time to visit, do you?"

"I only visited the grave once."

"Why?"

"I guess I didn't want to face it. When I first got pregnant, we didn't get a lot of support. My parents were pretty upset. I had so much hope wrapped up in the pregnancy that things would be okay with my family, when I lost her, I lost that hope, too."

"Are things still bad with your family?"

"No, they've reconciled that I'm going to be with Nick," Lexie chuckled. "Things have worked out fine."

Vicki shared her smile.

"A year later, you were subpoenaed to testify against the woman who pushed you off those stairs," Vicki said. "You gave a moving testimony of your loss and what you did remember that day. How is it you were able to remember so much with a head injury?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "It is so crystal clear. I hadn't watched any of the footage or what happened. It was too upsetting."

"This had its affect on Nick?"

"Yes. It hurt him more than I think it even hurt me, especially in the beginning. He was devastated."

"And you weren't?"

"I was, but it took me longer to acknowledge it. I was so focused on getting him to move on, that I didn't really work too much on myself."

"You spent some time using anti-depressants."

"Yes, and I had some therapy."

"How did that affect your life?"

"I hated those medications. I couldn't even recognize myself. I finally just stopped using them."

"And the therapy?"

"I stopped that, too. Probably wasn't too smart, but it was the only thing I could think to do to snap out of it. I could just see this going on and on. . .everyone was miserable around me."

"Was that when you finally faced what happened to you?"

"No, it wasn't until the trial. I didn't really face it until I had to say it out loud."

"Have you and Nick discussed trying to have another baby?"

"Yes, but not in a long time." Lexie sighed heavily. "Things haven't really worked out for a good time to talk about it again."

"Is it true you had no interest in the outcome of the trial?"

"Yes. I think your producer told me the verdict when he called one evening."

"Why is that? Why wouldn't you want to know the outcome of the trial of the woman responsible for your fall off the courthouse stairs?"

"What did it matter?" Lexie sat up straight and looked Vicki directly in the eye. "It wasn't going to bring my baby back. Nothing they did in the courtroom would bring her back. People don't understand the climate of things back then. The labor unions were using her to further their case against Nick by trying to paint him as some monster for putting that mother on trial. Nick didn't make the decision to prosecute. We even tried to talk them out of it, but the state took the case and prosecuted it. It was all just a horrible accident for everyone."

"So, you disagreed with the State's decision to prosecute?"

"Yes. I didn't want to testify or go through a trial. It didn't matter; none of it was ever going to bring DJ back to us."

"But didn't you want her punished for what she did?"

"It was an accident. She was so caught up in her fever to get to Nick and further the union's cause, that she didn't even consider my safety." For the first time, Lexie's voice cracked. She paused to collect herself and then continued. "Maybe if I held on to Nick's hand a little tighter. . ."

"Do you blame yourself for what happened?"

"Sometimes." She blinked back the tears. "If I had been more careful. If I had listened to Nick and testified via close circuit TV, then this would have never happened."

"Does Nick blame you for what happened?"

"Oh, no." She shook her head. "He's never done that."

"Lexie? Do you even know the name of the woman who was on trial?"

"I can't remember." She shook her head. Her shaking hand went up and she rubbed her eyes. "I just can't remember."

"How has this affected your health? Have you had any complications?"

"No, not that I know of. The doctors all say I'm fine." She lifted her head and tried to focus on Vicki again.

"How do you feel about having more children?" Vicki smiled. She, of course, already knew the answer to this one.

"I'd like to." Vicki reached over and handed her a tissue.

"Do you know when?" Lexie just shook her head 'no'. She was unable to speak any more. "Lexie, how difficult has it been?" Vicki asked softly.

"It's all been so hard." Lexie tried to pull herself together. She looked over at the older woman, and rested her forehead in her hand as her elbow sat on the back of the couch. "People have so many expectations of you and most of the time you can't meet them."

Suddenly, Lexie smiled over at Vicki and said, "I don't know how people handle being famous. I'm just married to someone famous and it's hard enough." Vicki shared a short laugh with her, "Now I know why my Dad kept me away from it."

"That would be your adoptive father, Howie Dorough."

"Yeah. It's all so sordid, you know. I was the first Backstreet baby and an illegitimate one at that. My mother and I lived on and off between Orlando and London until she died in that car accident when I was nine."

"That must have been difficult. " Vicki continued, not realizing they would be discussing her fathers as well, "Did you know AJ as your father back then?"

"Yes. Through pictures and my mother told me about him. She used to tell me that he loved me very much, but because of some bad choices he couldn't be with us." Lexie's eyes lowered and she knotted the damp tissue in her hands. "I think it broke her heart to tell me that."

"The British government returned you to the United States after the accident?"

"Yeah, we were there on vacation for a couple months when it happened."

"You were sure you were going to see your father."

"I was positive."

"It didn't work out that way, did it?"

"No, I was adopted by Howie Dorough and later his wife, Leah. They became my parents."

"How did they deal with the issue of your father not taking you in?"

"They loved me, reassured me and made me a Dorough. It's a huge family." Lexie smiled.

"I was so sorry to hear about Howie's illness, how is he doing?"

"He's recovering. He should be home by the end of the month. He's walking, but not quite talking yet. Mom's ready for him to come home."

"So, Leah and Howie Dorough are your mom and dad?"

"Absolutely."

"What has happened to your relationship with your father, AJ McLean, since then?"

"We have our good moments and bad moments." She shrugged.

"Did he ever say why he didn't take you in?"

"Yes, he said that so much time had passed that he didn't know how to regain it. He didn't have a good relationship with his father. I don't think he knew how to be a father and it scared him."

"How do you feel about your father now?"

"I love him." Lexie let out a deep sigh. "But I've accepted he's never going to be the father I want him to be. I try to accept that, but sometimes it's hard, really hard. There are times when it is impossible."

Nick's heart fell into his stomach. He had no idea this was how she dealt with her feelings about AJ. AJ wouldn't be happy to hear this on national television. Nick doubted AJ had any idea how his leaving Lexie had affected her.

"Every little girl wants to be able to fall back on their Daddy."

"I never had that option. Until Howie. If it wasn't for him, I don't think I could have ever learned to trust men."

"Do you think what happened between you and AJ had anything to do with your reaction to losing your baby?"

Lexie was quiet for a long while, "I don't know. I don't think so. I was nervous and maybe a little scared to be a mother, but I wasn't about to run away from it. Mom and Dad were angry, but I never doubted that if I needed them they would have been there for me.

"And you had Nick."

"And I had Nick." Lexie smiled warmly, her eyes looking beyond Vicki to see Nick's silhouette behind one of the cameras.

"Through it all Lexie, what has sustained you? Abandoned as a child, adopted by virtual strangers, a very public marriage to a man 20 years your senior and the loss of your child."

"Gosh, when you put it like that." Lexie rolled her eyes and both women laughed. "My family has been the backbone of my life. I can't turn around in southern Florida and not bump into another Dorough. When we were in L.A., Nick's brother, Aaron, and his wife, Jill, were a huge help. My parents, my friends."

"How many of those friends are inside the Backstreet camp as I've heard you call them once?"

"Not many. Jake Richardson, Kevin Richardson's second son and I met in school and we keep in touch. I've met Brian Littrell's girls, but only really know his youngest, Fatima." Lexie smiled. "Most of my local friends are my cousins and friends from school. Although, we just moved here and I haven't really had a time to hook up with any of them."

"I have to take a minute to tell everyone about the most fabulous smells through this house." Vicki smiled.

"Oh, that's Cook. She's been Nick's housekeeper and cook for almost 20 years now. I still can't believe she moved here with her husband to keep working for us. There is so much I owe her, she's amazing." Lexie smiled. "I'm sure your crew has made their way through the kitchen more than once."

"I think a few of them are ready to move in," Vicki joked and then returned to the subject. "You have a good network."

"More like a safety net," Lexie agreed.

Vicki sat back comfortably in her seat and gestured with her hand casually, "So, tell me about this guy Nick we've been talking about."

"Oh, he's just the guy I married," Lexie joked and then rolled her eyes. "I'm sure no one has ever heard of him."

"I'm afraid they probably have." Vicki laughed. "When we were talking about expectations, how many of them have to do with being married to Nick Carter."

"I don't know if I have to deal with as many expectations of being married to him as I do misconceptions." Lexie watched Nick for a moment and then turned her attention back to Vicki.

"What would those be?"

"That I'm just a trophy wife and that what we have isn't a real marriage. The fans for the most part are great. In the beginning, I think people had more of a problem that I am AJ's daughter than the fact that I'm 20 years younger than him."

"I believe you called it, 'sordid'."

"Yes, that's the word." Lexie smiled her agreement. "I mean he was there when I was born and I'm the daughter of one of his best friends. I think sordid covers it."

"How were the fans about your loss?"

"They were great." Lexie smiled softly. "Some of them really brightened those days, and they don't even know it."

"Who has misconceptions about you?"

"Industry people, mostly."

"What is the biggest misconception about you, Lexie?"

"That my life is perfect."

"It's not?"

"It's far from that." Lexie's shoulders slumped a bit when she let out a great sigh. "It's not as bad as some others though. I really don't have much to complain about. Windows tend to open when doors slam shut."

"Lexie Carter, would you consider yourself a lucky woman?"

"Very."