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Christine was at the rail as Lexie walked up the stairs to the deck. Nick was on his stomach with his hands held down by CJ as Scotty tickled him. He was trying not to hurt them, but his squeals were getting louder and louder.


"What's going on up here!?" Lexie exclaimed. She went over and picked Scotty off Nick, who easily escaped CJ's grip. "Are you okay?"


"I'm fine." He laughed as he got to his feet and wiped his eyes.


Lexie let Scotty go, and he ran up on Nick to hang on his arm. "I wanna get you some more!"


"No, no, that was enough. Dinner is here, and we have to eat before it gets cold." Nick said as he picked him up one armed and scooped him up. Scotty reached for Nick's neck again, but Nick just turned him around. "I don't think I can take much more. Let's head inside." He set the boy down and swatted his behind as he herded the kids into the house.


"Are you coming?" Lexie looked back over her shoulder at Christine.


"No, I'm not hungry." She shook her head and looked back out over the Gulf.


"You need to eat something."


"I ate earlier. I'm fine. You go in."


Not wanting to argue with her, Lexie went into the house to eat dinner with the children and Nick. He met her at the sliding glass door and they looked over, watching Christine head down to the boardwalk. "Is she okay?" He asked.


"What do you think?" Lexie replied as quietly.


Sadly, Nick watched Christine slowly make her way down the stairs.


"She's not wearing enough. I'll be right back." Nick left her with the food and the kids, and headed out the door after her. He found her about five steps down.


"Where are you going?" He stood next to her.


"Just for a walk."


He removed his light sweater and handed it to her. "You're going to be too cold."


She wanted to protest, but she just took the fine cashmere and slipped it on. It hung on her and fell nearly to her knees.


"Thank you."


"Come back to the house."


"Scotty needs time with you and Lexie."


"That doesn't matter. He'll have plenty of time later."


"No."


"God, why are you always so unreasonable." He grunted as he turned and went back up the stairs into the house.


"Me? I'm unreasonable?" She snorted after he was gone.


Christine thought back to the times when he would pick out her wardrobe, constantly told her what to wear and how to act and used to criticize her after every event. Being away from him had been such a relief, but she had lost the time with her daughter.


She had written CJ letters and apologized for not staying and worse yet, for not taking her when she left. However, Nick would have tracked her down and she would have never gotten away from him. She did not tell CJ that part. Christine wouldn't do that to her.


It was obvious that CJ worshipped Nick and he has been a good father. She had a good life with him. Nick had surprised her. All for the love of one little girl, he became a better man.


A little girl who was planning her birthday at the end of the month and inviting her. Christine accepted the invitation, although she knew she would not be around for it.


Christine leaned across the rail and let the wind smooth her skin. Nick loved the beach. He loved living here at this house. He had made a home with Lexie. Scotty loved it, too. He liked his new sister and his new family. He truly adored Lexie, and even he and Nick seemed to get along. She was comfortable leaving him with them.


"So, I've taken care of everything." Christine spoke aloud to herself. "I've written the letters, I've made the arrangements, and I have signed the documents. Now I just have to pick the time."



With the sun dropping, Nick went up to the bedroom and grabbed himself another sweater. Scotty had followed him up and came down wearing one of Nick's sweaters as well. He had it properly smeared with pizza as they all decided to pick a movie and move the food into the home theatre.


The children ate and watched, eventually getting quiet and drifting off to sleep. Nick had curled up at Lexie's side on the couch, resting his head on her lap until he was sleeping as well. She ran her fingers though his hair as he slept. An hour later, when it was over, she gave the voice command for it to stop and to bring up only the lights around the edge of the room.


She slipped out from under Nick's head and covered him with a blanket. She covered the children on the other couch as well, and then she slipped from the room into the dark hallway.


Lights still burned in the pool house, and she knocked before she entered, calling for Christine.


"I'm in the kitchen." She called out.


"What are you doing in here?" Lexie asked when she saw Christine's medications sat spread out on the table in front of her.


"Just my evening routine. Where is Scotty?"


"In the theatre sleeping with CJ and Nick. They all conked out during the movie."


"He didn't get a nap today."


"Chris, there is something I have to tell you."


"What?"


"I found out today that our attorney, Sabrina Carlson, is dating Kevin. I don't think we can ask her to finalize the adoption if she's dating the boy's father."


"She doesn't know he's the father, does she?"


"No, but. . ."


"Then what is the problem?"


"I don't think I can lie to both of them."


"I don't care what you do after I'm gone."


"We're going to have to tell them beforehand."


"No! I don't want Nick to know!"


"He's going to have to know."


"Nick's going to be so angry. . ."


"I don't think so. Nick's not like that any more."


"He is with me. No, don't tell him, Lexie. You promised."


"I should have never done that." Lexie stood up. "My. . . AJ is coming tomorrow for a visit. I don't know when they are leaving, but once they are gone I'm going to tell Nick."


"Please don't."


"I have to."


Lexie turned and left the pool house, not letting Christine's pleas change her mind. Things had gotten too complicated, and she had to tell Nick. Not only because of Sabrina's involvement, but because she had already told Jake and there was no telling if he would tell his father first or not.



"Lexie!" Alex squealed the next morning as he ran across the drive way and into her arms. She scooped him up and instantly, Scotty was at her side and pulling on her shirt. She looked down at his concerned green eyes and then knelt down with Alex to introduce them.


"Scotty, this is Alex." She said to the two four year olds. "Alex, this is Scotty."


A study in contrasts, Alex's dark eyes searched Scotty's light eyes and skin for some sign of friendship. Scotty snuggled closer to Lexie.


"You know, I think you two will be happier out on the jungle gym." She laughed as she set Alex down. Taking each of their hands, ignoring the others, she turned and walked them through the house to the back yard.


It didn't take long, and the two were soon playing like old friends.


"Are they getting along?" AJ asked as he came to stand behind her and watch them.


"They seem to be just fine." She nodded.


"Look, I know you're unhappy about everything."


"Not everything, just you." She turned and crossed her arms. She had told Nick she would talk to him. "You ratted me out again, AJ."


"I thought you were wrong."


"Then you should have stayed out of it."


"How can I? You didn't see Nick during all of this."


"You didn't see me through all of this." She told him. "Not once did you try to see my side of things or even ask how I was doing. Not once did you show any concern for me at all. It was all about Nick. You know, Nick was wrong, too."


Nick approached them and AJ waved him closer until he was standing between them. "So, all of this is about who I'm taking sides with?"


"Yes. It's about you being my father, as laughable as that is."


"It is laughable, because I'm no more your father than Nick here. That privilege is all Howie's."


"He was the only one man enough to step up and be my father."


"Okay, that's enough!" Nick declared. "From over there it looked like you two were getting along, but I'm starting to think that isn't even possible any more."


That made Lexie sick. She had struggled so long to find him, to have him as a part of her life, and she had accepted that he might never be the father she wanted him to be. He was wrong getting involved in Nick's affairs and that had hurt her, but he and Nick had history, too.


"Look, I'm sorry." She suddenly said. She stared at the manicured lawn under her feet and missed the stunned look on both AJ and Nick's face. "I don't mean to keep bringing up the past."


"It's okay." AJ agreed.


Is he going to apologize? She wondered. He didn't. He just walked away to play with the boys, leaving Lexie teary-eyed with Nick. Lexie watched him for a moment and then looked up at Nick.


"See?" She swallowed hard. "Do you see why I love Howie so much? Is that so hard to understand?"


"No, it's not." Nick nodded quietly. "I understand."


"Thanks." She nodded and quickly wiped her eyes. "I guess I better see to the girls and CJ."


"I love you, Lexie. Okay?"


"I love you, too. Thanks." She moved past him and into the house, looking for Tina, her daughters, and CJ.


Nick looked over at AJ, who had been watching them the entire time. Nick narrowed his eyes at him and shook his head in disbelief. It was hard to believe that AJ would do something like that. Then again, it had been hard to believe he hadn't taken Lexie in after Amanda had died.


Scotty came running up to Nick, panting excitedly as he jumped up and down. "Nick, Nick, Nick! Can Alex stay in my room tonight? I want to stay at the big house. Can I?!"


"Of course you can, but I don't know if Alex is staying tonight or not." Nick knelt down and Scotty hugged his neck. Scotty planted a wet kiss on his cheek and then ran to Alex, took his hand, and then headed back to play in the sandbox.


"They get along really well." AJ smiled as he approached Nick.


Nick fell back on his rear and sat down Indian style on the grass. AJ took a seat next to him, and they both watched the boys.


"He certainly likes you." AJ added.


"We've been working on that. We're going to adopt him once she's gone."


"Are you sure you want to do that?"


"It's what Lexie wants. What's one more, right?" Nick shrugged.


"But is it what you want?"


"I want whatever makes Lexie happy." Nick answered sternly. "He's a good kid, and he is CJ's half brother. It's right that he's here. It's no big deal."


"If you let her take in every abandoned kid she finds. . ." AJ began, but Nick cut him off.


"Don't talk to me about Lexie, okay? She might be your daughter, but she's my wife."


"I'm just saying. . ."


"AJ, if we're going to be friends, we're going to have to leave her out of it."


"The thing is, I don't know if I can leave her out of it. She's my daughter, Nick, even if she doesn't want to be." AJ said.


Nick wanted to say more, but kept his mouth shut. It was clear now that AJ just didn't understand anything at all. All Lexie ever wanted to be her whole life was his daughter, but he kept closing the door on her. Maybe seeing the interview would be the best thing after all. Maybe he would finally get it.


"I'm going to honor her request, that's all." Nick shrugged. "But if anyone wants my opinion, I think you're both wrong. I just don't know how to make you both see what is really going on."


"I guess we'll find our way."


"I guess." Nick shrugged again.



Lexie was making dinner for everyone when Tina came in looking for a cup of coffee.


"It's over there." Lexie told her. "The cups are in the cupboard right above it. Do you need cream and sugar? The sugar is on the counter, and the cream is in the refrigerator."


"No, black is fine." The tall redhead poured the cup of coffee and then turned to watch Lexie stir the rice the pork chops with gravy were going to go over. "You're a good cook."


"I've learned a few things over the years." She chuckled. "I only get to cook on the weekends. Cook handles it the rest of the week. That's fine with me. I don't enjoy it that much."


"It must be nice having that kind of help."


"I don't know what I would do without her." Lexie agreed.


"You don't like me seeing your dad, do you?"


Lexie didn't skip a beat when she said, "I don't care who AJ fucks."


"Well, you don't mince words. Maybe you should have been an attorney." Tina chuckled as she leaned against the counter. "I can respect that."


"I don't need your respect."


"I can respect that, too." She began to help Lexie pull dishes from the cabinets and set the kitchen table. "I love him very much."


"You're not the first."


"Ouch." Tina chuckled.


"Look, I'm sorry. That was crap." Lexie finally stopped moving. "You have to understand a few things. AJ and I are lucky if we can be friends these days. We're hardly father and daughter. CJ adores him. He's one of Nick's best friends, and so we try to have a relationship."


"AJ has agonized over your guys' relationship."


"Well, he has a shitty way of showing it."


"Look, I don't want to butt in, I swear, but AJ is insanely jealous of Howie."


"Okay, since you're not butting in, tell me something I don't already know." Lexie stood with her hand on her hip.


"He loves you. He's sorry for being such a crappy father." Tina began. "He wants to be closer to you."


"You see, Counselor, I have an issue with that argument because it doesn't match his actions." Lexie turned and went back to the stove and lowered the heat on the gravy. "You know, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Nick. It's just better if you stay out of my relationship with AJ. Trust me, it's much easier if I just stay as Nick's wife and you're AJ's girlfriend and that they are just best friends."


"I can understand that." Tina shook her head and began to set out the flatware. "I hope that can change some day."


Change is all I've prayed for all of my life. The difference this time is I don't believe it's ever going to happen. Lexie opened the oven, blinking back bitter tears.I'm afraid it's never going to change.