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June burst through Tampa with a torrent of rain that kept the children inside for a week. Hurricane warnings came and went without a true hurricane making its way inside the Gulf and up to Tampa. By the end of the month, CJ was out of school, and the children were splitting their time between Tampa and Orlando. Howie settled in nicely at home and continued to learn to function in spite of his new limitations.


Nick left a few times for 2- or 3-day trips to do some early promotion of his album due out July 27th, her birthday. Somehow on the days she was alone, with Nick gone and the children in Orlando, Jake seemed to call. Lexie tried to break it off the first couple times, but the conversations stayed within proper confines. He spoke of his plans to work in Miami at a radio station there and maybe get an internship at a record company. He never mentioned his feelings about her, but he also never asked about her and Nick. Friendly talk between friends.


Lexie and Nick were never intimate the entire time. They fell into a comfortable rhythm of family and work. Lexie assumed that Nick would make his move when he was ready, but he seemed disinterested. Other intimacies did return to their relationship, though. He would talk to her about everything. His music, the children, his feelings and on one level seemed to regain some trust in her. In return, Lexie held back nothing, except for her conversations with Jake.


The night of his graduation party came with Nick and Lexie driving alone to Orlando for the festivities. Sabrina and Kevin had purchased a home in town and were hosting the party. From prior conversation with Jake, Lexie knew that he accepted Sabrina and her relationship with his father.


Nick was coldly silent during the drive.


"You okay? We don't really have to go." Lexie said at the halfway point.


"I'm fine. We promised Kevin we'd be there."


Lexie didn't say another word until they arrived. Kevin and Sabrina greeted them at the front door. Lexie missed the deep breath Nick took before facing Kevin. He acted as if nothing was wrong.


The party was lively and bright. Lexie was happy to see Gina there; although Gina and Jake were just friends and not dating any more. It gave them a chance to revive talk of opening their own appraisal business in central Florida.


The evening seemed to drone on forever for Nick. He was polite and very much the 'Nick Carter' everyone expected, but escape could not come soon enough. When it became clear that Gina and Lexie had tons to talk about, he escaped down a hallway and slipped into a room Kevin had shown him as the den.


The lighting of the room was dimmed to an intimate level. He never noticed another in the light paneled room until he spoke.


"Had to get away, too?" Jake asked as he moved away from the window and across the room toward Nick.


"Just taking a break." Nick replied, only half surprised to see Jake in here, seemingly waiting for Nick.


"It's good to see Lexie. You, too."


"It's in your best interest not to see her again." Nick walked to the front of Kevin's desk and hiked one pant leg of his gray suit as he settled one hip on the edge.


"She and I are friends."


"Not any more." Nick's drink lifted to his lips without looking at the younger man.


"Really? We've chatting all month." Jake said. "What? She didn't tell you?"


The shock must have registered on Nick's face. He didn't want it to, but it must have.


"It doesn't matter. I'm telling you." Nick set his glass down on the desk. "Stay away from my wife."


"Now, how are you going to prevent that?" Jake challenged him. "I mean, I already know about Scotty being my father's kid."


"And you're going to do what with that information?"


"Nothing." Jake said, "Yet."


"So, that's what its really about, isn't it? It's about hurting her, isn't it?"


"No, I'd never hurt. . ." Jake spoke quickly, trying to cover.


"Because, you see, when you love a woman, you want to protect her. You don't want anything to come into your house and hurt her." Nick got to his feet. He stood inches taller than the younger man did. He straightened his jacket and squared his shoulders. "That's not something I'd expect you to understand. You've never really loved a woman, have you?"


"I love her." Jake glared at Nick. "You slipped up old man. You let down your guard. . ."


Nick moved a little closer. "That won't happen again."


"You know, you're always going to be older than us. The time you start to slip," Jake snapped his fingers, "is the time I'll be there."


"You love her?" Nick pressed himself a little closer. His anger was thinly veiled.


"I do." Jake held his ground.


The lights suddenly came on in the room cutting off Nick's hot retort. Kevin was standing at the door. Nick and Jake moved away from each other, momentary blinded by the sudden light. Jake looked up and saw Nick's eyes locked on him. For a moment, he was afraid of Nick.


"There you guys are." Kevin said. "It's your party, Jake, you should be out with your guests."


Jake looked up at Nick, "No problem, Dad. I'm coming." Jake and Nick exchanged cold stares and then Jake left the room.


"What is going on between you and my son?" Kevin suddenly asked. Nick turned back to the desk and picked up his glass.


"Nothing." And he took a drink.


"Nick?" They both heard Lexie call for him at the end of the hall.


Without a word, Nick moved around Kevin and out to the hall. He signaled Lexie that he was there and went to greet her. Without a fuss, they both returned to the party, leaving Kevin puzzled in his own den.



"Do you really want to go back to Tampa tonight?" Nick asked as he let the roof down on the black BMW convertible.


"Uh, I guess. Where else would I want to go?" Lexie chuckled as they moved away from Kevin's house.


"You're not upset we left early."


"No, not at all."


"I was thinking we could get a room in town. Cook said she would spend the night if we asked her." Nick said as he drove toward downtown Orlando.


Lexie's heart began to race. What was he thinking? What was he planning?


"I guess that would be fine. I didn't bring a bag or anything."


"Well, me either. We can buy whatever we need from the hotel."


Nick drove downtown and ordered everything they would need from the Concierge as he drove. He pulled up in front of a luxury hotel, and the valet took the car as they entered the hotel to claim their room key.


Lexie followed Nick through the hotel to their room, where he opened the door with the card key and let her enter first. He had ordered an elegant suite for them and spread out on a table was a meal of fruit, cheese, and wine.


"Nick, it's beautiful." She told him as she turned back to find him leaning against the closed hotel room door.


"Why didn't you tell me you were still speaking with Jake?" He wasn't looking at her. He reached up, removed his tie, and stuffed it in his jacket pocket.


"It was just a few times. Just recently. We didn't really talk about anything, so I guess I didn't think anything of it." She stammered. Had he brought her here to fight with her?


Nick tipped his head back and she could see the fresh tears on his face. "I love you so much, Lexie." He choked on his words and then leveled his gaze at her. "All I need to know is that I'm the one you want. That's all and I'm yours."


"Oh, God, Nick. Of course. Of course, I love you." Lexie ran to him and wiped his face. "I love you so much." She reached on her toes to kiss him, but he held her away from him.


"But do you want me? Is this what you want?" He began to pull off his jacket and then with trembling fingers he unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled it from his slacks and let the shirt find the jacket on the floor. He kicked off his shoes and reached for his belt buckle.


"Nick? What are you doing?" Confused, Lexie tried to understand.


"I'm not going to get any younger." He continued to remove his clothing until he stood naked in front of her. "He loves you, Lexie. I love you, too, but he loves you. This is all I am ever going to be. Am I what you want? Do you want me? Do you want this?"


Naked and trembling, he endured her stare.


He was flushed red with embarrassment and uncertainty. His trembling never subsided. He clasped and unclasped his hands several times as though willing them to stop. Whatever pride and dignity he had left was slipping away. He was ready to do anything to keep her; anything at all.


"If you love him, too. . . I'd understand." Nick swallowed hard. "Just don't leave me. I don't care what you do, I just need to know that you aren't going to leave me. I'll do anything you want, Lexie, but I need to know."


God knew he couldn't live like this any more, especially since his confrontation with Jake. Jake would always be there, and Nick was smart enough to know that now. He had thought that Jake was behind them, but to know that he had been calling and they had been speaking shook him. He had nothing left to do but to beg her to stay, and if she wanted more freedom, he'd give it to her.


"What have I done?" Lexie's voice was small and scared.


"Lexie. . ."


"I don't love Jake, Nick. I've always loved just you." Lexie shook her head.


"No. I know you do. . ." Nick stammered.


"No. Never. It was always you."


Nick could not look at her. If it was a lie, he couldn't bear to see it.


"He was my friend, and he betrayed me. I knew what I was doing, but I never imagined he would betray me enough to try and hurt you."


Nick finally lifted his eyes to her. Had she heard them? No, she had been at the end of the hall when Kevin had broken them up.


"I should be begging you." She began to remove her clothing. "I'm sorry, Nick. I'm sorry for all of it. Christine, Jake. . . all of it. This is all my fault, and I swear to you that I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you." Her last garment fell to the floor, "if you'll let me."


Nick reached out and took hold of her bare shoulders. "My God, Lexie. I can't live without you! I love you so much!" He declared. He pulled her up to her toes and kissed her passionately, taking her breath away. She burst out laughing against his lips and he began to laugh, too. "Oh, God, that feels so good." He smiled down at her.


"I want you, Nick." She turned from his embrace and took his hand, leading him to the bedroom.


Nick's entire body was on fire, nearly trembling out of control. A chance to bury himself inside her. A chance to own her and to be owned by her. A chance to let his once forbidden fantasies run wild again and to have her fulfill every one. How he had prayed to have her writhe beneath him and call his name over and over again.


Jake had experienced the same thing. He had had her beneath him and God knows how else.


"Nick?" She turned back as he balked at the door to the bedroom. She saw the look on his face. He was thinking of her and Jake together. She always suspected that was what held him back all these months. If he would just give her a chance, he would remember what they had been like.


Lexie let go of his hand and opened the bedroom door. She stepped inside and sat on the edge of the bed. He didn't move from the doorway and she looked up to see him silhouetted against the light from the living room. He wasn't budging.


She rested her hands on her bare legs and then let them slowly part, slipping her hand between her thighs. It elicited a groan from him across the room. It rippled through her body. It had been so long since she had heard his voice in the dark.


"Do you know how much I want you?" She asked. Her other hand began to caress her breasts as he watched. She knew he was staring. "Do you know how much I miss you touching me? How much I want you to. . ."


"To do what?" He moaned.


". . .make me do whatever you want. No questions asked. Anything you want, Nick. I'll do it." She began to writhe against her own touch. She opened her eyes and he was standing directly in front of her.


"I'll do anything you want." He groaned.


"It's what you want, Nick." She replaced her hands with his until he pressed into her, laying her back across the bed.


Making love to her was easy, sweet, and exactly what he did want. He was so tender that he brought her to tears more than once. He consumed her. She wept for her foolishness and her good fortune. He shared her emotion, and they wept together wordlessly for hours between making love over and over again. Sunrise escaped them as they slept through it, woke by noon and made love yet again.



Wrapped in hotel robes and sitting on the screened balcony of the suite, floors above the ground, Lexie continued her long strokes of the brush through Nick's hair until it shined.


"I'm not ready to go home." Nick sighed.


"I'd suggest we stay longer, but I'm a little concerned about leaving Scotty without explaining it to him."


"I know. I've got tons to do at home, too. I was just saying." Nick shrugged.


Lexie pulled his hair back into a tail, braided it about 3-4 inches and clipped it off. Her cell phone rang on the glass table next to them and Nick reached to pick it up. The caller ID identified the caller as Jake. He showed it to her as it rang. She didn't hesitate as she took the phone from him and answered it.


"Hello?"


"Hey, girl. . ."


"Look, this has to stop. It's over Jake."


"What?! Don't be silly, we're friends."


"We're nothing. It's over. Don't call me any more."


"What did that bastard say?!" Jake snapped. "He threatened me, Lex."


"Consider it an open-ended proposition."


"I'll tell him, Lexie. I'll tell him everything we did." Jake protested desperately.


"He already knows." She clicked the phone off and punched a few more buttons, blocking his number. "You threaten him?" She set the phone down on the table with the hairbrush.


"No. Not exactly." Standing behind him, Lexie couldn't see the small cruel smile on Nick's lips.


"Not exactly?" She mused. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek.



"Having a good day?" Leah asked Howie as she set some ice water down beside him as he sat on the deck.


He nodded, picking the glass up with his good hand and used the straw to keep from spilling on himself.


"Glad no therapy today." He slurred as he put the glass down. "Tired of that."


"I bet you are." She chuckled.


He ran a hand over his hair, plucking at curls, "Need cut."


"I don't know. It's kinda cute."


He rolled his eyes and she laughed, "Okay, I'll call Jenny to come to the house and do your hair."


"Thank you." He smiled lopsidedly.


Leah took up a seat next to him, propping up her feet on a small table and taking in the sun.


"I can't believe there are no children in this house and how quiet it is." She sighed.


"I miss them."


"Sometimes I do, too, but not right now." She sighed, startling suddenly as she felt Howie's hand on her bare thigh, just below the hem of her shorts. She forced herself to relax and let him continue his gentle exploration. When his fingers became tantalizing close, "I thought you didn't want to."


"Doctor ok." He replied. "I know I'm nothing. . ."


"Stop that! Stop that right now!" She snapped, setting her feet down to face him. "I will always love you, Howie, and I don't care what happens to you."


"Not same."


"Looks fine to me." She smirked and so did he. She slid her own hand carefully up his thigh. "I'm game if you are."


He had been aroused enough times that they knew it would function. He had been having an adjustment period to his limitations and some insecurity had come with that. She had reassured him and reassured him and gave him plenty of opportunity to resume their intimate relationship any time. He was finally taking her up on one.


He got up and she held the door for him as he made his way through the house to his den-bedroom, but he turned and headed up the stairs to their old bedroom. She followed slowly behind them as he navigated the stairs with his cane and poor gait. He was winded by the time he got to the top, but he continued on to their bedroom.


He made it to the edge of the bed where he sat down and pointed to Leah. It was hard to tell if his hard breathing was from the effort or excitement.


"You first. Hair down."


Leah pulled down her messy bun and let her blonde hair fall about her shoulders. She removed her clothing for him and reached to remove his. His good hand caressed her.


His body was so much thinner now, although he had gained some more weight since he had been home. His left side was slightly twisted and not uniform any more, but she loved him no less. Even when he could barely speak, he could make her laugh. Even with one hand, he could still make her melt.


"How?" He asked as she removed his last garment.


"On your back. I can do all of the work." She smiled as he scooted back on the mattress.


"Just this once." He chuckled as he flopped back. "Be nice."


She laughed aloud as he tried to wiggle his pelvis for her, trying to be sexy. He was still as bad as he ever was.