Months later, Nick was alone on the bus absently picking up things they had lazily thrown about. Howie refused to discuss Raven, although he had settled down to finish the book. Nick was the most curious, wondering if Howie had spoken to his dad about them having family in New Orleans or New York, but he never found out. Howie just flat out refused to discuss her or what happened. No one else asked if they could read the book and he never offered it to them. He kept it in his bunk, tucked between the wall and his pillow. Nick was very surprised when he found it on the floor under some dirty clothes.

He picked it up and gingerly fingered the pages. He opened the cover and saw a faint handwritten inscription.

"To my dearest Howard, a little book I've enjoyed a plenty of times. Your loving cousin, Raven."

Holy! Nick tossed it up on Howie's bunk. God, that was creepy.

"Hey Nick, what? Dang, you look like you've seen a ghost." Brian said as he, AJ and Kevin entered the bus.

"It's Howie's book."

"Man, you touched it?" AJ asked.

"No, I found it on the floor. She wrote his name in it!" Nick declared.

"What? That's insane." Kevin said, reaching over Brian to pick the book up where Nick had tossed. "Jeez."

"Creepy, huh?" Nick said as Brian and AJ peered into the book.

"It's all old and faded. . .," AJ said.

"Look at this." Kevin said, pointing to the title page.

The author of the book was no other than Michael H. Dorough.

"Put that thing away, I'm getting the creeps!" AJ declared, jumping away from Kevin. Kevin gently closed the pages and tucked it behind Howie's pillow where they all knew he kept it.

"We won't mention this to him." Brian said.

"No, we shouldn't." Kevin said. "This is about Howie, not us. This is something he doesn't have to share."

"What if he never gets over it?" Nick asked.

"He has. He's gone out with that one girl a couple of times." Brian said. "And she's a blonde."

"Do you think he looks for her? Like in the audiences." Nick asked.

"Stop it, right now." Kevin said. "Leave him alone. She gave him the book and took good care of him."

"You talk about her like she was real or something." AJ said.

"To Howie she was." Kevin said.

"How can you say she wasn't real? Look at that book." Nick asked.

"This isn't something to gossip about." Kevin said angrily. "You're all just pissed because he has an experience on this tour of his own and it didn't involve all of the Backstreet Boys."

"C'mon Kev. . ."AJ began.

"Stop it, I mean it." Kevin demanded. "I'm going to change my shirt, then we've got to get inside for the meet and greet."

"Well, I'll get a head start on y'all and go see if I can find Howie. He said he was going for a walk." AJ said, heading out. Kevin was glad that AJ had ultimately supported Howie through this.

Nick dumped the armload of laundry he had gathered into a basket in the back of the bus. He and Brian left to go inside as Kevin was yanking a clean shirt off a hanger in the closet. He buttoned the green silk down his chest and slipped on a gray vest he left opened. As he stepped from the bus, fans screamed for him from the security gate around the parking lot. He gave them a wave and a smile and headed inside.

There must have been a hundred people for this luncheon and Kevin lasted for about 45 minutes before he gave into his urges to bolt. He found his way on stage. He crossed over it and climbed down off of it into the front staging area and over the barricade, into the seats. He saw someone sitting a ways back and she stood and waved to him. So much for escaping the attention, he was getting. She made her way toward him and he toward her.

"Had to get away from the crowd, huh?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Yeah, I hope that doesn't sound too bad." He smiled down at her.

"No, I understand. I'm not one for crowds either these days." She said, her dark eyes casting down at the floor and his feet. Kevin was towering over her and he assumed that he was making her uncomfortable, so he stepped back.

"Are you a fan?" he asked, trying to make conversation.

She started walking away from him, toward the stage.

"Yes." She nodded, but Kevin could only see the back of her head. He followed her, assuming they were returning to the luncheon backstage. He easily gained on her shorter strides and at one point was a whole step ahead of her.

"How long have you been a fan?" he asked.

"Not long." She answered.

"How'd you get in?"

"Thank you, Kevin. You've done so much for him." He heard her say.

"Huh? Who?" he asked, stopping in his tracks. He turned back to face her, but she was gone. A sweet scent of lavender rose in his nostrils and he felt goose bumps rise on his skin. The curly hared, dark eyed girl was gone.

"Oh my god. . ." he whispered.

"Hey, Kev!" Howie called from the stage. "Dude, whatcha' doing out here by yourself?"

"Nothing, uh, nothing. Just getting some air." Kevin said, turning toward Howie. He walked back to the stage and climbed up to stand by Howie. Kevin turned one last time and looked out over the empty auditorium. Howie playfully punched his arm, called him ‘big fella' and waved to have Kevin follow him back to the party. He followed Howie back through all the wires and equipment to the backstage area.

He never expected Howie to share any more of his experience with Raven, so he didn't feel the need to share his either. It was enough to know that she was watching out for Howie and now that she was a fan, probably looking out for all of them.