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Under Pressure

Chapter 7

 

I think I would have rather crashed then have to go through this. I must be crazy to even be saying that, but it's true. I think you would too if you had 'Shotgun Sean' sitting across from you. I have no clue how the man got the seat across from me, but he did and now I was stuck in hell.

I thought it was bad enough having to sit between Kevin and Brian. AJ and Howie were in our row too but across the aisle, and of course, Sean was in one of the seats facing our row. I don't know why they make planes like that, and now I hate it even more.

I leaned forward and dropped my head in my hands. Why me? Why couldn't things just go my way for once? Instead I had a killer sitting across from me, not to mention a stalker sitting somewhere behind me. Yes, KC got on the plane too, much to my dismay. I was hoping that maybe it was just a coincidence, but I wasn't that dumb.

"You okay?" Brian asked. I felt his hand resting on my back.

"Just tired ..."

"Then maybe you shouldn't go for midnight walks, huh?" Brian teased. I groaned. Not funny, Brian. Not the least bit.

"Midnight walks?" I heard Kevin say. He sounded interested and I just shook my head, sitting back up against the seat. Sean was still staring at me. I looked away.

The intercom made a noise as the seatbelt light popped on and the pilot told us to buckle up. We'd be taking off within a few minutes. That was my cue to try and relax and get the image of the crashing plane out of my head. Don't get me wrong, I've gotten a lot better since my first flight. Really.

I buckled my seatbelt with shaky hands and took a deep breath. Why was I so worried anyway? I was safe from Sean on the plane. They had metal detectors and stuff like that, so he couldn't have a gun. Right? I hoped. And even if he did, he wouldn't make a scene in front of all these people, would he? That would be stupid.

Sean's staring was making me really uncomfortable. You know when you have someone just stare at you nonstop and you begin to feel really self-conscious? Well, I was beyond self-conscious right now. I didn't know if I could last a few hours like this.

No one said anything during take off. I heard a baby crying in the back of the plane and sighed. Exactly how I feel, kid. In a few minutes we were high in the clouds and the announcements came back on. I looked out the window nezt to Brian for a minute, taking in the wispy clouds floating by, then looked away. It looked so peaceful.

"Hey, you boys ..."

My head jerked up at the scratchy voice. Why was he talking to us? I stared across at him for a second. Brian and Kev looked up too.

"Aren't ya'll from that group?" Sean snapped his fingers and I narrowed my eyes. Don't talk to us, man. "Backboys is it?"

"Backstreet," Brian filled in with a laugh. "Yeah, that's us." Sean managed a smile and I grimaced. It was scary. Kevin must have noticed me glaring at him because he elbowed me.

"What's the matter?"

I just shrugged at him.

"So which one's are you?" came Sean's next question. What a jerk. I listened as Brian dumbly told him our names. Great, so now he knew my name. Super, just super. Just dig my grave for me, why don't you. What do I want on my tombstone? Let me think about that.

"So what's your name?" I demanded. I admit I might have sounded a little obnoxious in the way I asked it, but Kevin didn't have to squeeze my leg so hard. That was gonna leave a bruise.

"Adam Hanley," came Sean's answer. Likely story, Sean. And what do you do for a living? Sell life insurance? "Nice to meet you, kid," he continued, sending me on of those fake smiles.

"Asshole," I muttered softly. Brian looked at me funny and Kevin just gave me one of those patented warning looks he'd perfected.

"You and me are gonna have a talk later," he said lowly. "Got me?" I just looked away. That was never good. If I didn't have a loose murderer sitting across from me so comfortable, I might have been scared.

"So you boys heading out to do a show?" Sean, or Adam as he suddenly liked to be called, was saying. Brian confirmed it and I just got mad. Here he was, getting all the information about us and where we'd be, and there was nothing I could do about it. If I objected, what would be my reason? None that I could say. Besides, Kevin was already gonna kill me, I didn't need any more strikes against me.

"We're at the Coloseum tomorrow," Brian was telling him. God, Brian, why are you suddenly so friendly with a complete and total stranger? What a time to become talkative.

"Oh yeah?" Sean was nodding. Storing the facts so he could hunt down later probably. Super. "Do you-"

"Why don't you just mind your own business?" I interrupted, cutting him off. I crossed my arms and stared at him.

"Nick, stop," Brian chided. Sean just looked amused. I meant it, you jerk. I didn't see anything funny. I felt Kevin lean closer to me.

"You're making yourself look like a jerk," he admonished softly.

"I don't care."

"You want me to make you care?" came his stiff reply.

"No." I shifted in my seat. Why couldn't he just understand?

"Then stop. If you're gonna be obnoxious, shut your mouth." He looked at me for a second. "What's with you lately?"

"Nothing ..."

"That answer's getting old," he muttered. I looked away. Brian was staring out the window and Sean was looking at some magazine. Finally. Silence. At least he took a hint.

-

The longest plane ride in the history of mankind was finally over. And surprisingly enough, I had survived. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. I had both slept and pretended to be sleeping for the remainder of the flight. I didn't need to annoy anyone else, I figured I had done my share.

The airport terminal was extremely crowded for some reason. I hated it when crowds of people swarmed and you couldn't keep track of where you were going or who you were with. That was why Sean had it easy.

"Oh, Nick ..." I heard his voice a second before he grabbed me around the middle and hauled me through the crowds of the people and toward the less crowded waiting area. I couldn't see the guys anymore. Shit.

"Get off of me!" I struggled to get away from him but to no avail. I figured it would at least cause a scene and maybe someone would come to help me. Of course, no one did. They probably thought I was just a kid fighting with his father. How sick was that.

"Stop it or we can take this outside," Sean growled, not releasing me. I tried to kick him and he punched me in the stomach. That made me stop. The blow made me sick and I felt like keeling over. Good thing I hadn't eaten for a long time. I suddenly felt weak.

"What do you want?" I moaned, wishing he'd loosen his grip. He didn't.

"The damn key, you dumbass. What do you think?" the raspy voice snarled.

"I don't have it ..." That was true, it was in my luggage, which right about now should be on the luggage thing that rotated in a circle in the baggage claim area. Sean gave me a shake.

"Give it to me." He grabbed my backpack from my shoulders and unzippered it roughly, digging through it with his hands. When he didn't find anything, he shoved it back at me. "Where is it?" he demanded.

"How should I know?" I retorted, voice shaking. Wrong answer. He punched me in the stomach again and I let out a heaving breath. Still no one came to help me. No wonder the world had so much child abuse. No one lent a hand.

"Is it in your luggage?" I was silent until he moved toward me again. I quickly nodded. "Alright, kid. Be a good boy and go get it from your luggage. Then meet me back here in ten minutes. Exactly ten minutes, understand?" I nodded again, even though I had no intentions of meeting up with him voluntarily again. "If you don't, not only am I gonna hunt you down and slit your throat, but I'm gonna kill your friends too."

"No, don't," I quickly pleaded. "They don't know anything. I didn't tell them anything."

"Doesn't matter," he growled. "Listen and follow rules then."

I just nodded and tried to pull away. He still held me tight. "Ten minutes," he repeated. "You're a second late and you'll be sorry, boy." He let me go and I ran.

Back in the crowd, I felt safer. Slightly, at least. I couldn't stop shaking and I felt sick to my stomach from the blows. Where were the guys?

I finally found them at the baggage claim and immediately grabbed on to Brian's arm, not letting go. He looked at me and grinned. "Hey, where'd you go?"

"I got lost in the crowd," I answered shakily, still taking deep breaths.

"Yeah, it's busy for some reason," Brian answered. He studied my face. "What's the matter? You okay?"

I shrugged. "Yeah." He didn't seem convinced.

"Nicky, here," Kevin called, hoisting one of my bags off of the luggage belt. "C'mon, pay attention." He looked at me the same way Brian had. "You okay?" He held onto my bag for a minute. I shrugged.

"You look kinda green," AJ said, pulling one of his bags from the belt and slinging it over his shoulder. "You feeling sick?"

"I'm fine ..."

"Maybe it's just from flying," Howie filled in. "Huh, Nick?"

"Yeah, I don't know. Maybe ..." I moaned. "Can we go home?"

"We can go to the hotel, not home. Is that what you mean?"

I shrugged. I think that was the best I would ever get.

-

 

Chapter 8

 

Getting to the hotel seemed to take forever. By the time that we finally checked in and got our keys, I felt like dying. I don't know if you've ever been punched in the stomach before, but the after effects of it are not very pleasant. I was feeling pretty sick. I think it could have had something to do with not really eating too, but I don't know.

At this hotel we didn't get all separate rooms but one big suite with three bedrooms. It turned out that way sometimes, it depended on the hotel really. Brian and I always shared a room though. Right now, I didn't care where I was staying as long as it had a bed and locking doors. Those were my top priorities for that day.

The second the door was unlocked, I headed straight to one of the bedrooms, throwing down my bags and falling face down on the bed farthest from the window. Time to sleep. I didn't bother changing or pulling off my sneakers. I didn't feel like it and I was too tired.

I tried not to concentrate on the pounding in my stomach. I hoped he didn't break a rib or anything. I was kind of thinking that the pain might go away in an hour or two. Hoping.

I heard the guys in the main room moving around and discussing what to do for the rest of the day. I hoped that they realized that I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't want them to go anywhere either. Sean had threatened them too if I didn't listen, and of course I hadn't. I sighed. If they only knew about any of this. I heard someone come in the room and throw their stuff on the other bed. Brian.

"Nick, you okay?"

"Mmm-hm."

"Come on, bro."

"I'm tired," I mumbled.

"I can see that," he said with a laugh, swatting at me. I rolled ever and gazed at him tiredly. "We're thinking of going out somewhere. Any preference?"

"Here?" I tried. He shook his head.

"It's two in the afternoon. Where's my Frack?" He looked amused.

"Sleeping!"

"You slept the whole flight, buddy, c'mon ..." He sounded tired too. Tired of me probably. Next came the inevitable question. "You feel okay?"

"No," I mumbled, rolling back over to face my pillow. The coolness felt good against my face. I think I really was getting sick. Maybe it was nerves?

"I thought you were fine." He sounded sarcastic.

"I am fine," I returned. My voice was muffled into the pillow. "I just don't feel that well," I admitted softly.

"You're a goof," Brian returned, poking me in the ribs like he always did when he was teasing. I pulled away sharply in pain, but I don't think that he noticed. "I'll check and see what the guys wanna do, ok?" I just shrugged and listened to him leave.

Somehow, I was almost asleep before anyone else bothered me. I was trying to clear my mind of what had happened at the airport. Maybe it was a dream. But the throbbing in my stomach contradicted that statement rather harshly. So I tried to forget about it instead. I was almost in dreamworld when I felt a hand on my head.

"Nicky?" It was Kev. I rolled over slightly to look at him. "I ordered pizza to the room, c'mon."

"Not hungry ..." I mumbled. "I thought you were going out."

"Not right away. Lunch first. C'mon kiddo, I want you to eat."

"Not hungry," I repeated. He gave me one of his looks.

"So you said. Up, Nickster." When I didn't move, he playfully grabbed me around the middle to pick me up but I pulled away with a soft cry. I couldn't help it, it hurt so bad. Kevin immediately froze. "What's wrong with your stomach?"

"Nothing, Kev." I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the dizziness that accompianed the searing pain. I sat up but it still didn't go away. "I'll eat, okay? Happy?"

"No. What's wrong with your stomach."

"Nothing, Kevy-Kev," I said easily. "Leave me alone." He stared at me a minute and then shook his head.

"Look, baby, I don't know what is up with you lately, but you're not helping yourself or anybody else keeping this up, okay? You're only making it a hell of a lot worse." He sounded kind of annoyed. Maybe he still wasn't over the plane incident. I guess I should watch my mouth.

Maybe I should just tell him. Let it all out. I was never an open book, but I usually dished to somebody. Brian usually. He was my confidante. But this was my problem, as big as it was, and I still didn't want to get them involved. Sean would want to kill them too if they knew. I mean, sure he wanted to kill them now, but that was diffterent. That was just a threat. If he thought they knew ...

Not to mention, I'd waited this long already. The guys would more than likely be mad that I hadn't told them earlier. That would just get me in deeper with them, and it wouldn't solve anything else.

I could handle it.

"Nick?" I looked up to see Kevin looking at me worriedly. "Earth to Carter," he teased when he had my attention. "Come in?"

"Stop," I said with a small smile. He shook his head.

"You gonna tell me anything?" he asked after a pause. I shook my head and he rolled his eyes. "You guys drive me nuts, you know that?"

"We try," I returned, standing up easily. I dodged the swat Kevin aimed toward me and headed toward the kitchen. Time to act like everything was okay.

-

I was alone. I'm not sure if it was for better or for worse, but I had some peace. No one to press and try and get anything out of me. I think Kevin was going to start using violence if I didn't spill soon. They must think me crazy by now anyway. When I heard they were going out to walk the mall, I must've told them a million times to have security with them. Howie just told me I shouldn't be the one to talk. I admit that sometimes I have fun and lose our guards on purpose, but it's just a game. Depends on where we are.

I was in the middle of watching some movie when the phone rang. I nearly jumped off the couch, but took a deep breath. It's only a phone, Nick. No big deal. Should I answer it?

No. It's probably Sean. Why bother? You know he's going to scare the hell out of you.

But it could be the guys too. They'd been gone for about an hour now and might be calling to check up on me. Not picking up could become a death wish.

I finally decided to go for it. A phone couldn't hurt me, right? Right.

"Hello?"

"Hello ..." It was him. I silently cursed. I knew it. "You didn't listen like I told you to, Nickolas ... Do you know what that means?"

"Go to hell, Sean ..." I wanted to hang up but I was frozen.

"Your friends are at the mall, huh? Having a grand ol' time. Why didn't you go tag along with your big brothers? They could've protected you."

"F-"

"Instead, they're not expecting anything to happen, are they?" He cut me off. "You didn't tell them of course." He sighed. "You know, I haven't been to the mall in a long time, Nick ... Could be fun." He hung up before I could answer. The second I heard dialtone, I started sobbing.

I buried my head in the couch cushion and tried to calm down. I hadn't cried once during the whole ordeal, and now I couldn't stop.

Was he joking around? Trying to scare me? I was beyond scared, so he had succeeded in that. I sniffled and took a long shaky breath, wiping my eyes on the back of my sleeve. Either way, there was nothing I could do. I was stuck here.

What would I do without the guys? I'd never really thought about it before. I just took for granted that they'd always be there through thick and thin. That we'd never have to say goodbye. I know it was naive, but I'd rather not think of it any other way.

Within a few minutes, I had cried myself to sleep.

-

 

Chapter 9

 

I couldn't sleep anymore. I was afraid to actually. I was sick of waking up from dreams where I was being chased or the guys were being killed. They seemed so real. I woke up in a cold sweat everytime. So I turned to my friend, the television. I started to watch some Saturday Night Live reruns to pass the time. I couldn't laugh. I couldn't cry either.

After the guys had been gone for about two and half or three hours, I was starting to get worried. I was scared. What if Sean had found them at the mall and had-

I wasn't going to think about that.

I told myself to stop. God, if I could just stop thinking about it. But there was always that little voice in the back of my mind telling me that something had gone wrong. Or that something was about to go wrong. I couldn't take it anymore, I was going nuts. Crazy.

I ran my hands through my disheveled hair and took a deep breath. I held it until I got dizzy, then let it out slowly. My stomach pain hadn't gone away in an hour like I had hoped, instead when I lifted up my shirt I saw that I was going to have a bruise. Great.

I watched the TV as it advertised fake commercials of SNL's. The one playing across the screen now was for memory loss. I wish I had memory loss. Then maybe I wouldn't have the face of a dead woman lying in a pool of blood running through my head. I didn't matter if I was asleep or awake, the image was still there, accompianed by the echoing shots of the gun in my head.

I got tired of SNL and pulled myself off the couch tiredly, heading toward the kitchen. I was thirsty, and maybe some soda or something would settle my stomach. I grabbed a glass out of one of the cabinets and got some ice out of the freezer. I was pouring myself some coke from a can when someone grabbed me from behind.

"Nicky!" AJ greeted loudly as my glass slid out of my hand and hit the floor, shattering into a million little pieces. I stared at him open-mouthed. God, he'd scared the hell out of me. I didn't even hear them come in. "Damn, Nick."

"What'd you do ...?" I heard Kevin ask calmly from the doorway. I was frozen, my mind racing. What if that had been Sean and not AJ?

"I scared him," AJ spoke up, rubbing my shoulder gently. "Sorry, Frack." I just nodded absently and looked down at my hand. It was shaking. I watched the coke pool in the tiles, mixed in with the glass. It reminded me of the blood back at the coffee shop. I looked back at the guys.

"I'll clean it up ..." I started to move, but AJ caught my arm.

"Don't step, bro." I followed his gaze down to my bare feet. Oops. I was stuck. I looked at him helplessly.

"I'm sorry ..."

"Don't worry about it," Kevin interrupted, coming around the side of the tiles away from the mess. He grabbed me gently, physically lifting me up and carrying me over the liquid and shards, dropping me on the carpet. I was too shaken to even notice. "We'll get it," he said, giving me a gentle push.

"But-"

"Go sit down," came his answer. He didn't even turn to look at me, instead going to AJ's side and grabbing some paper towels to clean up. Hm. Strange.

I found Howie and Brian inside, already watching TV. I slid in close to Brian, relieved to see that all the guys were okay. I had had my doubts after Sean's call. Brian slung an arm around me and pulled me closer.

"How're you doing?"

"Okay."

"Just okay?"

"Yeah ..." I said, sending him a look. "Did you have any trouble at the mall?"

"Trouble?" He laughed. "What kind of trouble?" I shrugged at him and he just shook his head. "Nope, nothing happened, right Howie?"

"Yup," Howie answered. He looked at me with a concerned expression. "Feeling better, Nicky?"

"I'm okay," I said with a shrug. "I'm tired."

"Maybe you have the flu or something? You look kinda pale."

"Maybe ..." I shrugged again. "I don't know ..."

"Well rest up for the concert tomorrow, buddy," Brian said. "Don't wanna miss that." I nodded. Try can't miss that. I was dreading tomorrow's concert to be honest. Brian had told Sean that it was at the Coloseum, and this time I think he would do more than just leave me a note. Maybe I should call the cops?

"Hey." AJ dropped down besides me and Brian, handing me a coke. "To replace," he said.

"Thank, Aje."

"No prob," he replied as Kevin sat in an armchair across from us. "So what'd you do while we were out?"

"Sleep."

"You sleep too much," he replied, giving me a smile to show he was playing. The phone rang shrilly before I could answer. Howie reached for it and picked up.

"Hello?" There was a long pause and we all watched him. "Hello ...?" he repeated. He looked at us and hung up. "Dead line."

My stomach clenched. I knew who it was. Why didn't he just leave me alone? I was tempted to throw away the key somewhere, but then he'd still be after me to find out where I threw it. There was no way to win. I almost wished that KC would tell me what the hell was going on. I was a key player in a game where I didn't know the rules. How unfair was that?

"Nick," Brian said, hitting my leg softly. At least he didn't elbow my ribs again. I found all the guys looking at me. I guess I had missed something.

"What?"

"We were wondering what you wanted to do for dinner?"

"Dinner?" I repeated. "We just ate ..."

"Like four hours ago," AJ replied. "Say you want McDonald's."

"I'm not hungry."

"You still have to come," Kevin replied, shaking his head. "Try and eat something."

I stared at him. I was not hungry. Get it through your head, Kevin. But it would be better than sitting here and getting phonecalls I guess. Anything was better than that. But I felt safe in the hotel. I didn't want to go anywhere.

"McDonald's it is," AJ announced suddenly, leaping up from the couch. "C'mon, guys."

"Jay," Kevin objected. He made a face. I guess he was sick of Mickey D's too. I'm telling you, too much of that stuff had to be bad.

But we ate there that night anyway, not surprisingly. It wasn't like there was much else around the hotel area. And just as had happened in the past few days, I caught sight of a certain someone there. And even though I thought it impossible now, things started to get even more complicated. Little did I know.

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