Under Pressure

Chapter 16

Kevin wasn't the best company. He was half asleep anyway the second he sat down on the couch, and kept looking at me like he thought I'd fall asleep soon too. I guess I proved him wrong. Nothing was on TV either, so I kept flipping. I think that was annoying him.

I finally stopped and settled on some movie that was on. A few minutes went by until the two main characters in it starting cursing each other out quite colorfully. Every other word started with 'F', including some interesting variations. Kevin hit my arm softly.

"Change that," he muttered, reaching for the controller at my side.

"Nothing's on."

"Well, find something else," he returned tiredly. Okay, Dad, whatever you say. I flipped to the next few channels, stopping on a cartoon. There really wasn't much on this time of night. Or morning rather. It was like two o'clock.

"Is this good for you?"

"Nicky ..." Kevin just shook his head at me so I shrugged and kept flipping. Next time I looked at him, he was sound asleep. Great company, I tell you. It was better than being alone though, that's for sure. I sprawled out comfortably and tried to concentrate on the unidentifiable cartoon on the screen. I debated whether it was a cat, a rodent, or a dog. It was a tough call.

I actually almost fell asleep in the next few minutes, until I heard the jingle at the door. I jerked upright and stared at it for a second. I glanced at Kev, but he was still asleep. I looked back at the door and heard the sound again, along with scraping and fumbling against the door. Shit, shit. It could be Howie and AJ, but they had a key and wouldn't be making all that noise. Right?

As the sounds continued, I scrambled up from the couch and ran to the kitchen. I slid across the tiles in my socks, grabbing one of those large frying pans from one of the cabinets. Better to be safe than sorry. Always be prepared, that's my motto. I wondered if it was bullet proof.

I made my way back out into the main room, slowly and quietly. How was I going to do this? I didn't want to get closer to the door than I already was, so I finally decided on chucking it at the door when it opened. Simple as that.

One, two, three ... Whoever it was finally got the lock open and pushed open the door. Without looking or waiting another second, I flung the frying pan and shut my eyes. Whoever it was must have ducked, because I heard it hit the wall and clatter to the tile floor. Either that or I missed.

"What the hell?!" I opened my eyes when I heard AJ's raspy voice. Uh oh ... Not good, not good. Definitely not good. He and Howie stared at me, open-mouthed. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I-"

"You damn near just killed me and D," AJ interrupted, grabbing me and giving me a hard shake. "You think this shit is funny?" He shook me again.

"No, I-"

"Shut the fu-"

"Guys, what was that noise?" Kevin's voice interrupted. He was standing now and looked wide awake. I saw Brian standing in our doorway, a confused expression on his face. The noise must have woken them up. "Aje, get off of him."

"He tried to kill me and Howie!" AJ answered, giving me another shake and pushing me up against the wall. Brian stepped in closer.

"Guys ...?"

"AJ, off of him," Kevin repeated more sharply. At least someone cared about my well-being here. AJ gave me another hard push before letting me go. "What happened?"

"He tried to kill us!" Calm down, AJ. Talk about overreacting. I missed, remember? He looked back at me. "What were youthinking?!"

"I don't know, I-" I never think, guys, remember? You know that. I leaned against the wall for support. I was scared.

"You threw a frying pan?" Kevin looked at me incredulously and my stomach dropped at his sharp tone. "What the hell, Nicky? Are you stupid? Crazy?" He must've seen the look on my face because he took a deep breath and stopped yelling for a second. "Just ... go to bed. We'll talk in the morning."

"What?!" AJ exclaimed. "You're not gonna-"

"You too, Jay," Kevin cut him off. "I'm not dealing with this now. Everyone just go to bed. It's late." AJ opened his mouth, but Kevin cut him off. "AJ, stop. Don't argue with me now. I'm not gonna say it again."

AJ muttered something and kicked at the pan so that it slid across the floor, before stomping off to his room. Something told me to stay away from him for awhile. Kev looked back at me.

"Go. Move it, Carter," he warned.

He didn't need to say it twice. I made it to my room in less than a second. Brian followed me in and sat on the edge of the dresser, staring at me. "We need to talk, bro."

"I didn't mean to ... I thought it was him." I fell back onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. Why was my life such utter chaos?

"Look, Nick. Forget that, it's over." He took a deep breath and looked at me. "Remember at the show tonight you thought you saw him?"

"I know I saw him," I corrected. Brian just nodded with that look on his face I couldn't read.

"Right ... The guards never saw him, Nick. And they didn't see anyone leave either," he said slowly.

"What are you trying to say?" I sat up quickly and stared at him, wide-eyed. He shook his head. "You don't believe me?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying, Frack, it's just that ..."

"You don't believe me," I repeated, voice breaking. I pulled my covers around me and laid back down, burying my head into my cool pillow and covering my head with the blankets as the tears came. I shouldn't have ever told him anything.

"That's not what I meant," Brian stressed. I felt his hand on the edge of the blanket. "Nick, don't cry man, I'm sorry."

"I'm not crying!" I objected, voice muffled into the pillow.

"You jump to conclusions," Brian muttered. "Nick, look at me."

"Go away," I answered. "Good night."

"Don't start blamin' me now," Brian continued. "I'm here for you, you know it. But you're not listening to what I have to say." I was silent. If he didn't even believe my story, then what was the point? There wasn't any.

I think Brian gave up on the conversation when he didn't get an answer. Either way, he stopped talking, and I heard him lay down. I kept the covers on my head though, it was like a shelter for me. I don't remember when I drifted off because I was so tired, but next thing I knew I was waking up.

"Mornin', Nick."

"Hey, Howie ..." I greeted softly, coming into the kitchen and sitting next to him at the table. He was the only one that I could be absolutely sure wasn't mad at me for some reason or another. "Sorry about last night."

"It's okay," he said with a laugh. "Good thing you missed, huh?"

"Yeah. I thought you were like robbers or something," I said with a small smile. He just rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, well, AJ couldn't find our key, so it took us awhile."

"Sorry," I repeated. I really was too. I don't know what I would have done if it had actually hit them. I couldn't even imagine. I'd feel awful.

"Don't sweat it."

"Hey, Howie ..." I played with the edge of my shirt absently, trying to appear nonchalant. It wasn't easy.

"Yeah?"

"What would you say if ..." I paused and tried to word it carefully. "What would you say if I told you I thought somebody was after me?" Howie gave me a funny look and then laughed.

"I'd say ... too much scary movies for you, boy." He stared at my suddenly serious expression with a frown. "You're just playin', right?"

"Yeah." I laughed a little to show I was joking. "I'm kidding." Howie just shook his head and got up to make coffee.

"You're nuts."

"I know." I really was too, that was the funny thing. I shook my head at Howie's offer for a cup of coffee and went back to playing with my shirt. Like I said before, I don't drink the stuff. Howie knew it too, he was just nice enough to offer I guess.

"Hey, D ... Mornin'!" AJ hopped into the kitchen with way too much energy for the morning after a late night. He shot me a look and smiled sweetly. "Hello, Chuckie." I think he was referring to that movie about the red-headed demon doll that attacked people. It wasn't funny though. I made a face.

"Coffee, Jay?" Howie was pouring himself a cup over by the counter.

"Nah, thanks, D." AJ slid in across from me at the table and steepled his fingers, resting his chin on top. "So, my boy, how much do you value your life?"

"Not much," I replied with a shrug. He frowned.

"Hey, what's the matter? I'm playing." I just shrugged again. "Look, I'm over last night, ok? Don't worry about it, I won't shave your head while your sleeping or anything like that. You're safe." He paused and stroked his goatee. "From me at least. Kev on the other hand ..."

"Hey. What's this talkin' 'bout me?" Kevin interrupted, entering the kitchen and heading straight towards the coffee maker as AJ trailed off. "Better be good, Alex." His tone was playful. The only one he was ever upset with was me I think.

"Nothing but the best, Kev," AJ replied smoothly. "Don't worry." Kevin just laughed and sat in the chair next to him. He didn't even glance at me. I don't know if that was good or bad. I couldn't tell you.

I got through the morning by being quiet and out of the way. No one forced me to eat anything, or commented on it either. They were probably getting tired of looking after me. Oh well, I didn't care.

Well, actually I did, but it was okay. My stomach was really bothering me, so it wasn't hard for me to stay out of the way. I sat by myself on the sofa and played gameboy. No one bothered me. It was perfect.

Except for my stomach. Last time I looked, it was still all bruised and swollen looking. It hurt when I pressed on it too. I kind of wondered whether it was healing, or if I pulled it even worse in the concert last night. Whichever one it was, I felt even sicker and more nauseous than the day before. I guess I was just trying to ignore it, but it wasn't working.

"Brian, let's go ..." I tugged on Brian's arm lightly, trying to pull him up from the couch. I had my mindset on getting this over with as soon as possible. Then I could just stop worrying. Brian gave me a curious look.

"Huh?" Don't tell me he forgot ... Brian just stared at me.

"Station," I reminded him in a whisper, tossing him his jacket. I already had mine on.

"Oh right," he answered finally, getting up when I gave his arm another tug. Kevin looked up from the paper he was reading as Brian pulled on his pullover jacket.

"Where're you guys headed?"

"We're uh ..." I fumbled for words. "We're gonna go play b-ball."

"There's a court down the street," Brian filled in easily, pulling me towards the door swiftly. "We'll be back for rehearsal. Four o'clock, right?" I was kind of surprised that he played along.

"Yeah." Kevin nodded slowly with a frown. "Guys, you might need a ball, huh?" He sounded suspicious. I flushed.

"Right, thanks." I paused and Brian gave me a gentle push towards our room.

"Near my bag."

I came back carrying the ball and tossed it to Brian, not looking at Kevin. "Bye ..."

"Take it easy, Nick, you haven't been feeling well," he directed. "Bri, careful, ok?"

"Sure, cuz. We'll see you guys later."

-

Chapter 17

Things didn't really go like I had planned, but then again, do they ever? I don't know why I thought that this time would be any different than all the rest. Wishful thinking I guess.

The police station was a huge brick building that looked so intimidating from the outside that I almost changed my mind about going in. I think I probably would have run back to the hotel if Brian wasn't standing there next to me. His presence was comforting.

We climbed up the steps and stepped in through the thick mahogony doors. Beige colored tile stretched out in front of us and I sucked in a breath. This was it. I felt Brian's hand on my back as we stepped up to the front desk. I let him do the talking there.

We were then seated in a pretty comfortable waiting room room with wood panelling and different framed clippings from various newspapers hanging on the wall. They talked about different arrests and/or rescues in the district for the past twenty years or so. I suddenly wished I had thought to bring my gameboy.

I rested my head on Brian's shoulder a second and breathed softly. "I'm scared," I admitted after a minute. I felt him nod.

"Me too, buddy. But it'll be over soon. Just tell them everything you know and they'll take care of the rest." I lifted my head.

"It's not that easy."

"I know, Nick. But once you tell them, it's out of your hands." He rubbed the back of my head. "So just relax." I nodded and tried to calm my nerves. I just had that feeling that something bad was going to happen.

"Thanks for coming with me."

"Anytime, bro," he replied. "Anytime ... So who won the b-ball game, me or you?"

"Me," I said readily. "Of course." I knew he was trying hard to get me to calm down and think about other things.

"Eh, I don't think so ..." he answered with a grin. "No way."

"Yes way. I won."

"No, no, no." He shook his head. "I definitely won, pal." Before I could object, a tall man filled the doorway with a warm smile. A badge hung from his grey jacket proudly.

"Hi there, boys. If you'd follow me to my office?" He motioned for us to follow so Brian and I stood and stepped behind him as he started down the hallway. He led us into a small office and seated us in cushiony arm chairs. I tried to relax.

"So, I hear you have a story for us?" was his first question. I was concentrating on the thick framed pictures that were scattered on his wooden desktop. It looked like he had a son and daughter. The girl was really pretty ...

"Nick?" Brian hit my leg to get my attention back.

"Yeah, story." I looked up at the police officer and he smiled at me reassuringly. "Right ..."

"Do you mind if I tape the conversation?" he asked suddenly. He placed a small grey tape recorder on the desk as if he'd forgotten to earlier.

"Um, no go ahead." I shrugged. What did I care?

"Okay, just start from the beginning and tell me everything you know-" Before he could finish, the phone on his desk rung shrilly. He smiled apologetically. "Sorry, boys. One second," he said, holding up a finger as he picked up the reciever. "Hello?" There was a second long pause. "Sure, I'll be right there. Right, bye," he said, hanging up. He looked back at us. "I just have to attend to one thing, boys. I'll be back in a second, alright? Just stay here."

"Sure," Brian answered. "No problem." I just nodded and drummed my fingers on the desk in the silence. Everything was going to be just fine. Just keep repeating that, Nick. Just fine.

"Nick, I'm gonna run and get a drink, ok? I'm dying of thirst."

"Frick ..." I didn't want to be in that office alone. What if the police guy came back before Brian did?

"I'll just be a sec, man. I saw a soda machine down the hall." He patted my shoulder as he got up.

Okay, it's not so bad being alone. He'll be back soon. I kicked the desk in front of me softly. Don't be such a baby, Nick. You can be alone for a minute, can't you? I played with the zipper on my jacket nervously. I got up and walked around the office and then sat back down. About a minute passed and I started to get worried.

I heard a step at the door and turned my head. "Bri- oh my God." I leapt out of my chair at the sight of Sean, who frowned at me and stepped closer. Where did he come from? How did he find me? I moved back behind the chairs.

"Nick, this wasn't in our agreement," he growled. I winced at his scratchy voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I-" How'd he get in here? Of all places, I thought I'd at least be safe here. I gripped the back of the chair that stood between us and tried to swallow the lump in my throat. "I didn't tell them anything yet."

"Yet," he repeated. "That's not what I want to hear. Let's have a talk." He stepped towards me and I spun the other way. I could get away from him if he wasn't blocking the whole doorway. He was a big guy though. He was like Kevin's size.

"I'll leave," I cried, voice shaking. I tried not to sound nervous. "I swear." Where was Brian? Where was the cop for God's sake? Great time to disappear, guys.

"I can't trust you, kid," came his reply as he grabbed my arm. I tried to slide my sleeve out of my jacket to escape, but he had me in a choke hold before I could even twist away. I could hardly breathe, nevermind move. He started pulling me towards the door. "You make one sound and I'll beat you and slit your throat, got it?" I just nodded and squeezed my eyes shut.

When I opened my eyes, I found we were outside against the side of the building. Where'd all the people go? The street was suddenly empty, no cars, no people. Sean shoved me against the brick wall and held me there with his forearm.

"Who have you told?" he demanded.

"No one," I sputtered, wincing as he shook me and my head knocked against the brick. God, that hurt. I bit my lip.

"Bull. Where's the key?"

"At the hotel," I whimpered.

"How come you never seem to have it, huh? You lyin' to me?" he hissed.

"No."

"You haven't been cooperating," he continued. "What happened to our meeting at the airport, huh? What did I tell you would happen if you didn't listen?"

"Don't hurt them- I didn't tell them anything!" I pleaded. If he hurt one of the guys I would die. It was all my fault.

"Does that matter? I told you what would happen, but you still didn't listen, did you?" His raspy voice echoed in my pounding skull. I felt really dizzy.

"I didn't tell anybody," I cried.

"Shut up," he snarled, punching me in the stomach. I keeled over at the hard blow. Not again. His grip on me loosened and I slid down the wall to the ground. I rolled to my side and moaned. God, I felt so sick. "Don't make me tell you again. Next time I see you, I want the key, understand?" At my silence, he kicked me in the ribs and I cried out. "Understand, Nick?"

"Yes," I whispered. "I didn't tell anybody ..."

I must've blacked out then, because next thing I knew, Brian was calling my name and shaking my arm. I moaned and opened my eyes slowly, finding myself still lying on the pavement. My head felt like it was on fire. "Brian?" My face felt all wet.

"Nicky, are you okay? What happened, buddy? Oh my God ..." I think Brian was more upset than I was. I just moaned again and I felt his hand rest on the small of my back. "Baby, God, what happened?" I grabbed his arm. "C'mon, can you stand?" He had me under the arms and tried to help me up, but I was too dizzy, so I just sat with my back against the wall. My stomach and side felt like a firecracker explosion.

"Brian, my head hurts ..." I reached up to touch the side of my head and came away with blood. I stared at it in shock for a minute. Then I started to cry.

"Nicky ... Sh, it's ok ..."

"It was him, Brian. It was Sean," I got out. "He's gonna kill me." I shook his arm. "What are we gonna do, Brian?"

"Easy, Frack," he soothed, hugging me softly. "Just take it easy. It'll be okay."

"I know." I nodded and tried to stop crying. I wiped my eyes with my jacket sleeve and sniffled. "Everything's fine," I stated. Brian just shook his head at me.

"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up. Then we'll talk." He grabbed me under the arms and pulled me up off the ground easily.

"My stomach hurts," I said softly as we made our way around to the front of the building. Every move I made sent a sharp stabbing pain running down my side. Brian stopped walking and faced me.

"I think we should get you to the hospital," he started again. "Because you may have br-"

"No," I interrupted. "No hospital. I'm fine, Brian, really. I just need to catch my breath." I made a show of taking a deep breath and giving him a grin. He didn't smile.

"You're not fine, and the sooner you realize it, the better off we'll be." He shook his head. "You wanna talk to the cop now? He disappeared, but we can look for him ..." He trailed off as I shook my head. I regretted the movement as it sent my head spinning. "No?"

"No."

"Now's not the time to be difficult," he said chidingly. "Let's go back to the hotel."

"Let's not."

"Nick ..."

"Brian ..." I returned. He sent me an impatient look, but shook his head. Brian had a hard time getting mad at me sometimes. That's why I loved him. "What time is it?"

"Three-thirty," he answered, looking at his watch. "Rehearsal's at four. You're not gonna be dancing."

"Ten to one management will make me," I answered. Management was really obnoxious sometimes. They didn't care if you broke your leg or what, you'd still have to go on and dance. Brian frowned at me.

"Nick, I don't care what the hell management says. You're not gonna be dancing. And if they don't listen to me, they'll listen to Kevin." That's for sure. Kevin could scare the shit out of people.

"No one has to know I'm hurt though..." I started softly, watching as Brian flagged down a taxi. If they did, they'd start asking questions that I couldn't answer. Brian spun around and I gripped his arm tightly when I almost lost my balance. The world was suddenly spinning a little too fast.

"Are you kidding? Good luck, Nicky. You can't hide this sort of thing. I think you should tell the guys."

"Frick ..."

"Look, Nick. I'm not gonna tell them against your will, ok? I won't do that. So it's up to you whether you wanna be a baby and keep it all to yourself, or try and fix things. Your choice." He stepped away from me as a taxi pulled up to the curb.

I guess he was right. But I had to think. If my head would just stop spinning, I could concentrate on my jumbled thoughts. I got in the taxi after him and shut the door, not looking at the brick building as we pulled away.

-

Chapter 18

It wasn't long before we pulled up to the front of the hotel and I began thinking of excuses not to go up to the room. What might sway Brian ...? Nothing really, when he had something on his mind. I gripped his arm as we walked swiftly to the elevators, whether for security or for balance against my dizzy head I don't know. Both probably.

"Hey, Bri, we never checked out the pool, huh?" I tried, giving his arm a small tug.

"Nope, and we're not gonna right now either," he answered with a small smile. He pressed the number for the floor and I glanced around.

"There's an arcade too! Check it out ..."

He didn't even look this time. The elevator let out a ding as the metal doors slid open smoothly. I just followed him on, leaning against the wall for support. My head really hurt. I reached up and felt a bump in the back. What was I going to tell the guys?

The trip up was in silence, as was the longer than usual walk to our door. Brian fished through his pockets for the key, then looked at me when he found it. "You ready?"

I just shrugged at him. He gave my shoulder a pat as he unlocked the door. No one looked up as we came in, so I just made a beeline for the bathroom, mumbling something to Brian about taking a shower. As I shut the door I heard Kevin ask Brian where his basketball went. I guess we left it at the station. Who knew.

I locked the door behind me quickly and looked in the mirror at my reflection. It scared me. I looked scared. And I was. My eyes looked kind of red from crying. I went to the sink and splashed my face with cold water, trying to wash away the cut on the side of my forehead. It was a pretty bad scrape, probably from my meet-and-greet with Mr. Brick Wall. Luckily my longish hair covered it pretty well though, if I didn't brush it back. I would have to remember that.

Hiding it didn't make the pain go away though. I had a pretty nasty bump on the back of my head, but I figured it would go away soon enough. I'd just have to try and deal with the dizziness for a few days. No problem. Leaning over the sink put stress on my stomach, so I stood upright and pulled my shirt over my head.

Oh boy. Was that bad? I touched my ribs tenderly and winced. Hm ... Do doctors usually wrap hurt ribs? With what? And how? My whole side was red and kind of swollen from where he kicked me. It was starting to bruise already. Great. Another dizzy spell came over me, so I sat on the edge of the tub and rested my head in my hands.

I guess a long time went by while I was just sitting there, because a knock came at the door and I heard AJ politely asking me what the hell I was doing with myself in there.

"Nothing, go 'way," I answered. AJ has a weird sense of humor sometimes. I turned the shower handle so that he would hear the water and know I was showering. And hopefully go away. I think he did because he didn't say anything else. I made the water hot and steamy and took a long shower.

-

"Nick, c'mere, bro ..."

I paused at Kev's voice and made my way into the main room slowly. Might as well listen I guess. I had finished showering and changed into a pair of Adidas warm-up pants and a huge sweatshirt. I don't know whose sweatshirt it was actually. It was one of the ones I had borrowed it from one of the guys a long time ago and never given it back. Judging by the size it was probably Kev's. Watch as he recognizes it and demands it back on the spot.

"Hey, Kev, what's up?" I sat down across from him in an armchair, pulling my knees up to my chest. I felt protected that way. I rested my chin on my knees as I looked at him.

"Not much, you?"

"Nothin' ..."

"How was b-ball?"

"Okay."

"You lost the ball?"

"Uh-huh." I just nodded. "We were attacked by a mob of gangsters, so Brian threw the ball at them and we ran." Kevin just raised an eyebrow so I gave him a cheeky grin. "Something like that."

"Oh really."

"Yeah, it was pretty messy." I held up my balled fists in a fighting gesture and he just chuckled.

"You're nuts, little man."

"Yeah, I know." Not thinking, I pushed back the hair that was starting to fall in my face. I silently cursed when I saw the look that Kev got on his face.

"What happened to you?!"

"Nothing," I said quickly. He got up and started towards me. "Nothing, Kev."

"I wanna know what happened," he said sharply. "No one touches you. What happened?"

"Nothing," I repeated, hitting his hand away as he pushed back my hair to look. "Stop."

"What happened?" he demanded. I should know by now not to mess with that voice. "Tell me."

"The mob I told you about," I said, annoyed. Why did Kev have to be so damn protective all of the time?

"I'm not kidding, Nick."

"Neither am I." I paused. "Well, if you wanna know the truth, Frick beat me up." He obviously didn't find that amusing in the slightest bit, so I shook my head. "Just kidding."

"Brian!" Kevin hollered. "Get in here!" Great, now he wanted Brian's side of the story. And unfortunately, Brian didn't like to lie. Especially to Kev. I should count myself lucky he even played along before.

"Kev," I started, hitting his arm. "Nothing happened." He didn't pay any attention to me though. Brian hopped into the room a second later, frowning when he saw the two of us.

"You told him?" was his first question

"Told me what?" Kevin's eyes were immediately on me. I wished I could disappear.

"I don't know ..." I mumbled, hiding my face in my knees. I didn't need this right now. We had rehearsal in an hour.

"Oh ..." Brian sounded lost.

"How'd he get hurt?" I heard Kevin ask. Don't tell him, Rok. Don't say anything.

"Did you see his stomach?" Dammit, Brian. What's your problem? He hadn't even seen the latest addition of bruises to my side, nevermind my stomach. I felt like crying. I was feeling kind of ... woozy.

"No," came Kevin's slow answer. "You wanna tell me something, Nick?"

"No," I muttered into my arms. I glanced up as someone pulled my arms away from my knees. "Stop it, Brian."

"Show 'im, Nick. I'm not playing along anymore."

"You promised ..." I cried. "I'll hate you forever." I knew I was being a baby, but right then I didn't care. He had promised me he wouldn't tell anybody, and now he was. He lied. I told him that and he shook his head.

"This is more serious than that and you know it." I looked at him with a frown, then at Kevin. He was probably confused. I didn't care.

"Nick, come on." Kevin sounded pretty serious.

"It's not your business."

"You're my business," Kevin answered sharply. I looked away, hugging my knees. I didn't feel so hot.

"I don't feel so good," I said after a minute. I let go of my knees and leaned back. My head was getting heavy and I was seeing spots. Maybe I had some rare disease? Yeah, something called 'stress'. You'd think the guys would understand. "I'm gonna get a drink," I told them, starting to get up. Brian pushed me back down gently.

"Tell." I just stared at him. The room was getting really hot suddenly. I didn't even notice Kevin reaching for the edge of my sweatshirt until I felt his hand. I pushed him away, but that didn't stop him.

"I'm gonna look even if I have to hold you down, so you might as well cooperate," was what he said. I made a face. Kevin would, too. "You were hurt since two days ago, weren't you?" I just shrugged. He was probably thinking of when I pulled away when he touched my stomach. I wouldn't let him look then either.

"Enough," Brian muttered, reaching out and yanking up my sweatshirt. When I saw the shocked look on their faces, my eyes filled with tears and I pulled it back down. God, it hurt. It was even worse than when Brian saw it last, which was probably why he looked so surprised. Kevin's shock soon turned to anger, but not at me.

"Who the hell did this to you?" he demanded. "No one lays a hand on you ..." I never heard him so pissed before. I just started crying. What a mess. "Jesus, why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I was scared," I whispered. "I told Brian." I didn't miss the glare he shot at Brian when I said that. "I'm scared, Kev."

"It's okay." He sure didn't sound like it was okay though. "Who did this to you?" I didn't answer, I just cried harder, hiding my head in the armrest. I was tired of crying but I couldn't help it. I didn't even want to tell him the whole story.

"Nick, it's okay, man." Brian was still trying to reassure me. I think we were a little beyond that. I was at least. Nothing could reassure me now. "Relax ..."

"I feel like shit," was my only answer.

"Hey. Watch your mouth." I rolled my eyes. We could all be dying and Kevin would still be telling me to watch my mouth.

"Nick, just tell him the whole story," Brian encouraged.

"Okay, fine. Kev, we didn't play basketball today. I'm sorry," I mumbled, pulling away from them and off the couch. I headed toward the kitchen, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. I felt really dizzy. When was the last time I ate? I don't remember. I needed soda.

"Nick, whassa matter?" AJ was sitting at the table on the phone. He told whoever it was to hang for a second and looked me up and down. "You alright, man?"

"No." Why was the kitchen spinning, AJ? He gave me a funny look.

"Yeah, I'll call you back, ok?" he said into the phone. "Right. Love you too." He hung up and jumped up from the table. "Whassup with you? You been drinking again?" He said this last part in a teasing tone. I never drank. I never even touched the stuff except for one time when AJ made me drink some in Europe. I was like fourteen and it made me sick. I still don't forgive him for that.

"No," I returned, letting him lead me to a chair and make me sit. "I just don't feel so good."

"Oh. You want a soda?"

"Yeah." I watched him go to the fridge and grab a can of Coke. He even went to the trouble of pouring it into a glass for me. What a guy. "Thanks, Jay."

"No prob. You getting a cold or something?"

"I think so."

"You gonna get through tonight?"

"Yeah." I shrugged at him.

"Good man," he said with a laugh. He slid the glass in front of me and sat down across the table. "Well, you look sick." Thanks, Dr. AJ. I just shrugged.

"Everything's bad," I told him. "I wanna go home. You wanna come with me?"

"Just drink your soda."

"We'll just catch a flight tonight, after the show." If I make it through the show. That might not be a possibility.

"I think we've been through this, haven't we?" AJ asked absently. I just shrugged. "Drink your soda."

"Okay." I took a sip and stopped talking. I probably wasn't really making any sense anyway. I wasn't really thinking too straight.

"Good, just relax. It'll be okay. You'll feel better after the show, kid."

"Okay." I was ready to agree with whatever he said right then.

"Okay then," he said with a small smile. "Just drink your soda." I took another sip and rested my head on my arms on the table. It wasn't long before I fell asleep.