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Chapter 4
I looked back to see that Alex had fallen. “Alex?” I said rushing to the door. “When did this happen?” He asked in shock as he stood back up. “You were there when it happened.” “But how? I’ve hardly been around.” He asked looking into my eyes. “Almost two months ago.” “You’re tellin’ me you’re about a month and a half along? Wow, I don’t know what to say.” He said cracking into a smile. “I am sorry for not telling you sooner. I just wanted to wait to make sure that I was before tellin’ you.” That’s when I pulled out of his grasp and turned away form him.

At that moment I wasn’t too happy. I was starting to feel bad about having to tell him the truth but I just didn’t know how too. “Ally, what’s wrong?” He asked looking at me curiously. I didn’t answer him. I just headed upstairs and headed out on to the back deck. He followed me up. While standing there looking out I started crying. “Ally baby, is something going on with you?” He asked as I wiped my eyes. “Alex... there is something.” “What is it?” He asked placing his hand on my back. “It’s about... Hanna.” “What about her?” I just broke down before telling him. “She’s... she’s...” “What? She’s what?” I pulled away from him before I told him. “Hanna’s not yours.” I said walking away. “WHAT!!” He said shocked. “But how is that possible?” “Do you recall our breaking up before we got married?” “I do. I told you that I was sorry. It was right before I went into rehab.” “I know. Baby I’m so sorry. I didn’t know she wasn’t yours until today. I swear to you my life.” Then there was a silent moment between the both of us. “Would this have anything to do with Nick? Was it because you had slept with him back then?” I nodded my head ‘yes’. “Are you sure? She looks nothing like him. She’s got all our features.” “Her eyes and her straight hair.” I managed to say.

He walked away and sat down on the couch. “How did this all happen? Why did it happen? Why Nick?” I came and sat down next to him. “It was during the time you cheated on me with that girl from AA. That’s when I left you. How it happened was I was at the bar and ran into Nick there. I was drinking my pain away like how you used too.” I said getting upset. “That’s not fair.” He said looking up at me. “I’m sorry that was rude of me. I shouldn’t have said that.” I said apologizing. “Anyways some how Nick ended up taking me back to my hotel.” “But how did you end up sleeping together?” “Well, I guess I had a bit too much to drink and I told him that I didn’t want to be left alone.” “So he seduced you?” I shock my head ‘no’. “I did. I seduced him.” “Allison he’s your best friend. How could you have done something...” That’s when he stopped himself. “Me... You’ve seen my past. How I would get drunk off my ass, find an attractive lady and seduce her.” That’s when he looked over at me. “Ally I’m the one who should apologize to you. If we hadn’t fallen in love you wouldn’t have picked up any of my bad habits. I’m sorry.”

While sitting there a while I started twisting my wedding band. When he wasn’t looking I removed my ring. Holding it in the palm of my hand I clinched it real tightly then I stood up. I moved to stand in front of him. Reaching down I lifted up his hand as he looked up at me. I gave him a weak smile before placing my wedding band in the palm of his hand. “What are you doing?” He asked baffled. “Giving you back what I don’t deserve. I don’t feel I’m fit to be your wife anymore.” “But the baby and Hanna. Think about Hanna.” He said as I saw a tear fall. “I have. Alex don’t get me wrong, Hanna is your daughter. I’m not taking her away from who she calls daddy.” Then I placed my hands on my belly. “This baby... This baby will also be yours no matter what. I just believe you could do better than me.” “Shouldn’t I be the one to decide that? Ally I love you. I’ve always loved you. Through our good times and our bad times. Right now I love you even more.” He said taking my hands. “I don’t want you to leave me. Please I’m begging you. Don’t do this to us. Please. I wouldn’t know what I’d do without you.” “I love you too. I just... need some time.” “How long?” “I don’t know.” “Will I need my attorney to file for legal separation?” “No. I don’t want that.” “Divorce?!” Alex snapped as he let go of my hands “No! Alex I just need some time away. Clear my head that’s all.” I said placing my hand on his face. “No legal separation. No divorce. Just time.” He nodded his head in agreement. “Do you want me to leave so you can stay at the house?” I pulled my hand away and walked back over to the sliding door. “No, I’m gonna go.” He got up and wrapped his arms around me. “Alex.” “Not yet.” He whispered. Then he turned me around. Looking him straight in the eyes I tried looking away. Placing his fingers under my chin he forced me to look at him. “Alex don’t, please. I need to go.” “Kiss me.” “What?” “Just kiss me.” “Alex.” “Please. Before you leave me.” He whispered as his tears fell.

Slowly I felt his lips brush across my skin. “Oh Alex.” I moaned. I could feel the heat radiating off our bodies. He pulled me even closer to him. I could feel him grinding into my hip as I allowed him to enter my mouth with his tongue. I ran my fingers through his hair as his hands started roaming across my body. His hands caressed every inch of me giving me goose bumps. That’s when I had to stop him. “I need to go.” I whispered pushing away from him. “No, please.” I stepped back. “Don’t beg. It’ll just make it harder for us.” “But where will you go?” “I don’t know yet. I won’t know until I get there.” “Will you call us to let us know where you are?” “I’ll call only to ask how Hanna is doing. That’s all. You also have my cell number. Only call me if something happens. Don’t just call. Okay?” “Yeah.” I headed down to the front door and walked out to my car. Alex stood there watching me. “I love you Ally.” “I know. I love you too.” I said as I got into the car and was gone.

(Five months later)
I’m now going into my sixth month and things for me have been difficult. I’ve kept in contact with the other guys to see how Alex has been. Seems like he’s been doing okay the way they’ve explained it. Kevin called me just the other day to say Alex locked himself in his room. Nobody knew about it until Hanna called him. She’s starting to worry about her daddy. Truth has it... so do I. It has been awhile from the last time we talked. I think it’s time for me go back.

I went into my room to get dressed and then headed out to my car. It took me a good hour and a half to get to the house. When I pulled into the driveway I sat in my car. I don’t know what to say when I see him. I took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Then I got out and headed up to the door. Once in the house it was a nightmare. Nothing was picked up. Seems like these last few months he’s just given up on everything. The place was a mess and it was very quite. Too quite. I carefully strolled up the stairs to the master bedroom. I found the door close. Which was very odd so I slowly opened it just a bit to look in. He was lying on the bed sleeping. So I walked over to the edge and sat down. He shifted just a bit but didn’t wake. I then rubbed my hand across his back. “Alex, baby.” I whispered. He shifted again and then rolled back over. Slowly he finally opened his eyes. “Hi.” I whispered. “You came back?” “Yeah, I’m back.” “Are you staying? You aren’t gonna leave again are you?” I shook my head. “No. I’m staying.” That’s when I saw him cry. Seeing him cry got me crying as well. “Alex...” “Don’t. Don’t say it. I’m sorry too.” He said while sitting up.

He moves over to sit next to me. As he looked down he placed his hand on my belly. I placed mine on his then smiled at him. “How are you?” I asked. “I’m just... scared.” He said removing his hand. I turned to face him. Placing my hands on his face I turned him to look at me. “I’m scared too. But I believe we can do this. Together.” “I... Ally... I...” “I love you Alex. I want this marriage to work. For this baby and for the remaining time... Alex where is Hanna?” I said then asked. “She’s been staying with Nick.” “Why? What’s goin’ on?” I asked worried. “I thought with you being gone. She might want to get to know him. He is her father.” He said pulling away from me. “Alex no. You’re her father. You’ve been the one who took care of her all these years.” I said looking at him hurt. “I know. I just thought...” Then he turned his head to look over at me. “You’re not mad are you?” “No, I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed that’s all. It’s okay.”