I was bent over hiding behind a tree. Trying my best to stay out of anyone’s sight. My stomach wasn’t too happy about the bumpy ride, the twosome making out in my presence and Kevin’s southern drawl trying to ease my nerves. Not to mention that I’d brought my niece with me without her mother’s consent. Then again, she wasn’t in the position of giving me one.

Right?

My head was pounding too. The thought of my sister being beat up by some loser drug dealer, posing as a security guard, really pissed me off. The fact that Nick hadn’t even acknowledge my presence during the whole ride was a bit uncomfortable. Lastly, the man that I was madly in love with was pretending like he didn’t even know me.

It took a couple of hours to get from Las Vegas to Pahrump and the camp ground isn’t exactly the one that Dad used to bring us to, because were we used to go there was a lot of wilderness and we had to set up tents. I didn’t see anything that resembled tents on the RV or where we had parked. Plus, what could we possibly need a big old log house for, if not to stay in it. Part of me was disappointed, because I had imagined that this would be like the old days, but the other part of me was happy we would have running water and wouldn’t have to pop-a-squat behind some tree or bush.

After my heaving pure air I stood up and took a couple of deep breaths to ease my stomach. The air was definitely fresh out here and it smelled like soil and wet leaves. The place was beautiful. When I met up with everyone again, they were dragging their bags off the RV’s, one by one. I wanted to be happy that we were all together and that maybe all the bad things would be forgotten. But I had a feeling there was much more to come before we could even think about making up with each other.

Hannah and I hopped on the RV and took our bags. She seemed to be doing better today, but I was still worried about her. She didn’t really talk much, but I caught her laughing with the kids and as soon as we were all settled in our rooms they were off to the lake in their bathing suits.

The room picking was by far the least favorite thing to do so far. I watched as all the couples picked their rooms and yes that included Alex. The two single men got to share, which left me sharing with most of the kids. With a defeated sigh I unpacked my things and decided to meet the rest of the women downstairs.

I took baby Heidi in her little polka dot bikini and pink sandals and gave Leigh and LeighAnne a break. They ran off in their water gear and headed for the lake to keep watch over the other kids. I settled into the beige cushy couch and laid the baby on my chest. She was wide awake, yet peacefully still.

She was the perfect companion right now. No judging me. No ignoring me. She was just enjoying her three day vacation; something I was far from doing. I heard commotion coming down the stairs and cringed when I noticed blondie in her pink-barely-there bikini. AJ was holding her hips walking right behind her. My stomach somersaulted when our eyes met and I forgot about the baby on my chest. I shot up and her tiny hands grabbed hold of my shirt and she let out the loudest shriek.

“OMG! Is she alright?” blondie was at my side swiftly. Trying to pry the baby out of my arms.

I’m pretty sure I growled at her. “She’s fine. I just scared her.” I carefully rocked the baby back and forth till her little hands loosened on my shirt and her cries subsided.

“Wow you have a way with babies!” Seriously. Did blondie not see it all over my face that she was not welcomed around me. I sighed internally and wondered if I was just being an obnoxious bitch. She gave me a warm smile and it made me want to cry. She must have finally seen my discomfort, because she placed a hand on my shoulder and asked if I was ok. I nodded and forced a smile. “I don’t think we’ve officially met, even though we work at the same place.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I’m Lori…I’m in the call center. I know you are Sophie, Alex’s younger sister.” She reached out to grab Alex by the shirt, which I could tell made him uncomfortable. “You are so lucky to have a great brother like him.”

I felt the bile rise to my throat. “Shit!” I handed over the baby and ran as fast as I could up the stairs, crashed into Nick and then stumbled into the bathroom. I was letting everything out, my nose was running and my eyes were teary. I knew I wasn’t crying from the heaving, but from the massive knot that was still lodged in my throat. The gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. She had my Alex.

There was someone behind me and I was startled when I saw Nick looking down at me confused. I wiped my mouth with my arm and tried to get up, but the room just spun around me and I stayed in place.

“Let me help you up!” The stubborn part of me didn’t want Nick’s help. He’d avoided me all day and now that I was sitting here all vulnerable and a mess he was at my aid. Then again, I did need the help to get up.

I pushed myself up and took his hand and he threw his arm around my waist. “Thank you.”

There was no usual smile or bright blue eyes on Nick. He was cold and he looked bothered by helping me. “That’s what family does. Help each other…”

“Are you trying to tell me something?”

He let me go and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. “Not really. Don’t think that because I’m helping you, everything is going back to normal. Because it’s not!”

“I don’t know what you are so angry about? You threw me under the bus too.”

“It was about time someone did it.”

"That's not fair Nick! I wasn't ready to tell dad...I'm not ready. Plus...I didn't...I..."

Nick glared at me and I knew he was trying to come up with more things to hurt me.

"You what? You wanna blame me for pushing Alex to some other bimbos arms. No, you did that all by yourself. Just because your life is a mess, doesn't mean you have to fuck up mine."

Ouch!

I pushed past him biting my lip to hold in the tears. I knew he was right, my lack of judgment had once again pushed Alex into the arms of another woman and this time I knew it was for good. At the moment Alex wasn't the reason for my anger towards Nick. I headed for the stairs and he did too.

"You have nothing to say do you?" He muttered.

We both stopped mid-stairs and I spun around, "It's more like...you fucked up our lives..." He looked at me startled and I even heard someone gasp from downstairs. But I didn't bother looking to see who was there. I smacked him in the chest once and then again "because you're dying...and you didn't even BOTHER to let us know. To let me know..."

I spun around ignoring the shocked faces staring at us and double stepped down the stairs. "Sophia...Soph..." I didn't know who was calling me and I didn't really care. I just wanted to get away.

Night had fallen and the howling in the distance had encouraged me to go back home. As I trudged through the wooded area I wondered how I would face everyone. Most likely they were are pissed at me for talking like that to the sick guy. Someone had to tell him. No one wanted to mention the fact that Nick was sick and that there was more than the possibility that he could die. I wiped away the tear that trickled down my cheek.

The light on the porch was on and Kevin sat on the stairs. He stood up when he got a glimpse of me.

“Hi.”

“Hey! I thought you were gonna camp out there with the wolves.”

I smirked, “Very funny…”

He sat back down and I sat right next to him. Kevin didn’t say anything. We just stared out at the darkness trying to read each others minds.

“I was wrong in saying that. Everyone is probably mad me.”

His hand landed on my knee and the warmth penetrated through my jeans. “They are not mad at you. Nick was looking for you earlier…he was worried. I was worried.”

I gave him a playful shoulder shove, “You’re my partner…you’re supposed to worry.”

“That’s right. I'm just your partner.”

“I’m glad your back.” The familiar voice scared both of us and Kevin quickly stood up. He dusted himself off and excused himself. Nick sat down next to me. “I was worried you might try to swim home.”

My gaze remained on the darkness.

“I’m sorry Soph.” He waited for a reaction, but I didn’t have one. “I said some really harsh things…”

“It’s not what you said. It’s what you didn’t say.”

Nick let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his hands together. “I just didn’t want you guys to be sad and feel sorry for me. I watched Lauren get sadder with any little thing that happened to me. She treated me like I was handicapped. It was annoying and emotionally painful.”

“If you would have said something sooner maybe---”

He shook his head and spoke softly. “Sophia! I need you to understand something…I’m going to die…I just don’t know when. I need you to be prepared and accept that.”

I shook my head vigorously and pouted like a child. “NO! Someone can fix it…whatever it is.” The sobbing had started and I was once again out of control. “You can’t tell me to accept that you’re going to die. I can’t. I won’t.”

“Oh Soph.” His arms wrapped around me and I wrapped mine around him.

There was no way I would accept that my brother was dying. No way in hell.