“Hey. I’m ok!” He said extending his arms. He said it so comfortably. Deep down inside I knew that he probably wouldn’t be ok.

I hadn’t even noticed that I was bawling, not until I sat down next to him and felt his warm arms embrace me. I hugged him as tight as he could handle. Nick and I had been really close when we were little, since we were the youngest. We’d climb trees together and throw raisins at the guys during hide n seek. It made me cry even more to think that for a moment, I’d forgotten all about him. That I had developed the mentality of ‘Out of sight. Out of mind.’ I thought he was doing fine. That he didn’t really need us. The thought of him finding out about his heart, broke mine. I thought about how afraid he must’ve been and how alone he must have felt.

Even though we’d made up from our last fallout…I felt so guilty. I volunteered to stay that night. While mom and dad took Hannah with them.

“It must’ve been hard to leave California…the surfing?” I had to ask.

He smiled and sighed heavily. “Yeah…it was. Then again, I did what I loved for a couple of years and I kept getting sick and having to forfeit the competitions. It wasn’t fair to my competitors…”

The nurse interrupted our conversation to check Nick’s vitals. My stomach twisted into a knot as I watched her check if he was functioning normally. After everything she smiled and wished us a good night and she was gone.

“It was harder to leave Lauren. I should have known she was going to look for me.”

“I tried calling her. I got her voicemail.”

He gave me a crooked smile. “It’s ok…it’s better that way. That’s what I was trying to avoid.”

“That’s not really fair to her though.”

He shrugged and gave me a weak smile. Then closed his eyes falling asleep quickly.

A few days went by and each of us volunteered to stay overnight. I could sense he didn’t like to be treated like there was a way he could survive. Sometimes he talked like he was already dead. Something that really irritated me. I have to say there were days that he didn’t look too well, but he kept smiling and talking everyone’s ears off. There were moments that I just couldn’t keep it together and I’d excuse myself to the restroom and cry.

I’m a cop and I should be used to people dying all the time, but it’s not the same when it’s someone that holds a piece of your heart; that’s your brother. I was washing my face, but I could feel the warmth of my tears. Nick was awfully pale when I saw him in the room. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just him being sick that had him looking that way. He missed Lauren and wanted her to be there, no matter what he said. I’d tried getting a hold of her at least twice a day; there was never an answer or call back.

He hugged me tight when I sat down next to him. “You can’t be sad in this room Soph.”

“I try. I’m just scared. We are waiting for something so impossible to happen.”

“Exactly why you should try and face this.”

I wasn’t going to talk about him dying all openly the way he was. So we started talking about the past and all the dumb things that we had done in our childhood. There were so many and some were totally ridiculous. We laughed so hard, I got worried when he covered his chest with his hand. I jumped out of my seat to call for help, but he grabbed me and told me he was fine.

We talked and laughed till he slowly fell asleep. I couldn’t sleep much. I kept waking up and checking if the machines didn’t change or make some strange noise, not that I knew what each machine was supposed to do.

The early morning nurse waltzed in and greeted me. She checked out the machines and frowned a little.

“Is he ok?” I asked trying to read the machine, but it was all gibberish.

She wrote something down on the chart and looked up at me. “His pressure has gone up and his heart rate is a bit accelerated. I’m going to call Dr. Webber to come in immediately. Don’t be alarmed he’s ok.”

She didn’t give me a chance to ask her any other questions, because she shot out of the room and closed the door. I wasn’t sure to believe her. My plan was I wouldn’t leave his side, until mom and dad came, in about an hour.

“Good morning!” Nick cracked a smile.

I couldn’t help but smile back at him. Nick was the only one of us Thompson kids that didn’t have a problem with doctors or hospitals. Probably, because he was the first one to get sick and it would knock him on his little ass. Or because he broke his leg, toe and wrist playing sports or just being a boy. He was used to it.

There were dark circles around his eyes and his lips were almost white. His spirits on the other hand were up and he seemed happy. “Would you do me a favor?” His voice was almost a whisper.

I nodded my head, “Sure. What is it?”

He looked around to see if anyone was coming or listening in on our conversation. “I need a frap. Right now!”

“They wont let you have that, Nick.”

“Just please.”

The machine was making and unknown beeping sound, but Nick seemed fine. “Starbucks is right in front. Just sneak it in.”

I really didn’t want to go. Something seemed really wrong, but his face convinced me. He hadn’t really had anything more than hospital food for the past couple of days.

“Alright!” I grabbed my bag and hesitated at the end of the bed.

Nick gave me his signature smile, that I imagined melted many other girls hearts. “I love you, sis.” He whispered.

I smiled. I hadn’t really heard him say that to me in a while. “I love you, too. I’ll be back.” Slowly I walked past the nurses station and through the hall to the elevator.

He’d been right; Starbucks was right across the hospital. I ordered two caramel fraps and headed back as fast as I could; finding my parents in the process. We were strolling past the first floor nurses station, when I overheard them talking about code blue on the third floor. The fraps fell from my hands and I sprinted through the doors to the stairway. I’m not much of an athlete, but the strength to go up two flights of stairs in a rush without stopping magically appeared. I ran down the hall; trying to catch my breath. My side stinging like hell.

I reached the room, but there were two nurses who held me back from going into the room. Mom and dad were right behind me now. I was still struggling against the nurses to let me in. I watched Nick’s body jump every time the paddles made contact with his chest. “NICK! NICK!”

I heard the doctor say it for the last time and then his eyes met with mine. They were his ‘I’m sorry your family member has died. I did all I could’ eyes. The sob got caught in my throat and the damn nurses finally let me through. There was no more beeping, just a really droning flat line. I felt like the whole building had fallen on me.

“What happened?” Alex’s voice didn’t even phase me at the time.

“I came as fast…” Brian never finished his sentence.

The room was spinning slowly as I turned to look at my family standing at the entrance. My mom was buried in my dad’s chest and my dad just looked sullen. My eyes locked with Alex’s. The spinning got faster and the last thing I remember was the bright light.