I had just dropped off Hannah at my parents, of course not without getting a lecture from my dad. He could’t understand why I was being so distant with them and missing Friday night dinner. Not to mention why the heck was I not in a steady relationship with officer Richardson. 

I groaned a few times and just nodded my head. It was the same thing i had done through my teen years. 

The truth was I didn’t even know why I couldn’t give into being in a steady relationship with Kevin. He showed interest in me and he wasn’t embarassed to tell me he loved me. Not to mention he was tall, dark and handsome. What else could I want?

I sighed heavily checking out my gun and checking on the list to see who my partner for the night was. It kind of sucked to have a different partner everyday. Was that really considered a partner?

I smiled a little when I saw who would be riding with me for the night. It couldn’t be so bad to ride with my older brother. Howie poked my ribs when I saw him in the kitchen fixing himself a batch of toxic coffee. Black, no sugar.

"Wow! I get to ride with my sister."

"I didn't know that was allowed."

He shrugged taking a sip of coffee. "Me either, but you know the captain let's a lot of things slide."

His comment made my guts twist. I remembered the little black book Kevin had dropped off and was now hidden under my mattress. 

"Earth to Sophia!!!" Howie waved a hand in my face.

"Oh, sorry I was just thinking bout..."

"Kevin!" he snickered making his way out of the station. 

We were interrupted by Frank and Alex coming into the station. They were loud as always. They both stopped talking as we bumped into each other.

"What's up D!" Frank greeted Howie not even bothering to stop to talk to us. He walked past us wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Hey D. How's it going?" Alex stopped in front of us.

"Good. I got me a new partner for the night." he motioned towards me. 

Alex finally noticed me and I couldn't help myself from blushing. "Hey Soph. I meant to call." 

"That's my queue to get to my cruiser. I'll be waiting. Hurry up!" Howie walked out the station leaving me standing in the doorway with Alex in awkward silence.

Suddenly he took my hand and dragged me to the bathroom. He locked the door and paced with his hands on his hips. I was too shocked to say anything.

"I fucked up!" he muttered stopping in front of me. "What I did was selfish and I'm an asshole for doing it."

My eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "Excuse me? You mean you fucked up by doing me?"

"No. That's always good. It's just that I've realized that you need someone better...and Kevin is a good guy. A bit of a jerk, but I can tell that he loves you and he makes you happy."

"You used to make me happy."

He ran a hand over his face and let out a heavy sigh. Starting to pace again. "Sophia...what I'm about to say is really difficult for me." 

His pacing was making me dizzy and it felt really stuffy in the bathroom all of a sudden. "Just say whatever it is. I'm a big girl." I really didn't want to hear what he had to say. It was something I wasn't going to like.

"I've loved you for so long, but there has always been one thing or another keeping us apart or making us clash. I've realized that I'm not the man for you. You need a good guy...that's why I'm going to stop interfering between you and Kevin."

I didn't say anything. My heart was racing and I felt the tears sting my eyes. 

"Um...also...I'm engaged to Lori." he looked up at me through his long lashes. 

The bile rose to my throat. I rushed into the stall and bent over the toilet letting out everything in my stomach...I could swear I saw my heart floating in there too. There was nothing but silence in the bathroom when I walked out of the  stall to wash my face. I dried my hands then looked up at him trying to stay cool. 

"That's good for you. I'm glad you found the right woman." I forced a smile and unlocked the door.

"Soph!" he tried to grab my arm. I pulled away and exited the bathroom. It took all my strength not to fall apart and cry in the middle of the station. A part of me couldn't understand why I was so upset. We were practically over already. 

I walked to the cruiser and hopped in. Howie looked at me and made an attempt to say something, but took a sip of his coffee instead. 

That night after my shift which  felt never ending. I felt exhausted although the most exercise I had done was to get out and throw up again, then walk to the donut shop and stuff my face. Which was starting to make me worry. What was wrong with me?

After I tucked Hannah in bed, read her a book and took a well-needed warm shower. I threw on one of Kevin's forgotten shirts and laid in bed. It had been well past the five minutes the box had instructed, but I couldn't find the courage to get up and go look. 

I found myself wishing Kevin was here to comfort me; to make me feel better. I wondered what he was doing. There had been no calls, texts or emails from him all day. Which made me miss him even more. Maybe Alex was right... 

I thought about calling him just to hear his voice. Then I thought about how I had been acting lately. What I had done with Alex. If I wanted to have a relationship with him; I'd have to come clean and tell him about my encounter with the big bad wolf. 

I cringed with just the thought of telling him. 

After thinking long and hard I'd finally mustard the courage and energy to get out of bed and go back into the bathroom. There it laid on the counter; a little white stick, whose results could change my whole life. My feet dragged as I made way into the bathroom. I picked up the stick and sat on the edge of the tub with my eyes closed for a good minute. With a deep breath I slowly willed myself to open my eyes. I gasped.

PREGNANT