"The room in LA," Dr. Campbell began, jumping right to the point as Emily's heart rate quickened immediately, "did you not want to stay there because it reminded you of your mother?"

Emily shook her head.

"It wasn't that it reminded me of her," she responded, knowing full well that right now was the time to let the cat out of the bag... to let all of it out... "it was that it reminded me of him."

She reached up to wipe the tears that had already started pouring again, realizing that wiping them was futile. She didn't guess they'd be stopping anytime soon... not with this kind of conversation.

"Who's 'him'?"

Emily took a deep breath and let it out again. It was time. "Chris," she said as she grabbed a tissue from the desk in front of her and gently blew her nose.

"Chris? Your mother's boyfriend? The same Chris who died in the accident?"

She nodded, amazed by how quickly Dr. Campbell seemed to be catching on.

"Tell me about your nightmares now," Dr. Campbell went on, jumping right to the point, "is Chris in them?"

Emily inhaled a sob, choking it back as she tried her best to steady herself. She tried to say 'yes' but she couldn't get the word out, so instead she just nodded her head.

"Take your time," Dr. Campbell reassured her, placing a hand gently on her shoulder.

She tried to slow down her breathing and take small shallow breaths. It wasn't easy. Panic attacks were never easy... but she'd certainly become a pro at breathing her way through them.

'I have to do this,' she repeated silently to herself several times as she clenched her fists in her lap and focused on one spot on the floor like she always did when they got this bad. Finally she was able to gain enough control to go on.

"It's just... they don't... they're not," she couldn't find words adequate enough to express what she was thinking. She couldn't find the words to say that wouldn't make her sound... crazy.

But then Dr. Campbell was there again, squeezing her shoulder a bit tighter and encouraging her to keep going. So she did. "It's just that they aren't really nightmares. I mean... not really."

Dr Campbell gave her a questioning look that told her she should probably explain. Something easier said than done... but she'd better at least try.

"It's like," she continued not sure how to explain it. Trying to sound out the words in her head before she said them out loud, "It's like, I've had nightmares before in my life... lots of times. I mean, I know what a nightmare is like and I know what they aren't like... and nightmares aren't real. These things... these dreams... they're real."

Dr. Campbell nodded for her to go on. "It's almost like I'm living these moments all over again. I can feel things and see things and hear things... and I'm experiencing things exactly the way I did when they really happened. And sometimes I experience things that I forgot until I remember it from my dreams. I just... I don't really know how to explain it other than to say, it's not a nightmare... it's real."

Emily stopped talking and looked over at Dr. Campbell expecting to be greeted with the frown of a woman who thought she was nuts. Instead she was sitting there, pen in her hand, not writing... just listening. There was a look of empathy and understanding on her face that Emily had never seen on anyone's face before.

Not even Aj's.

Dr. Campbell leaned back in her chair and nodded. Emily was unsure what to expect now, but it was clear that this doctor wasn't too surprised. So maybe she was crazy afterall. Maybe she'd tell her she needed to be locked up... sent away to Blueriver just like Bob had said.

Though judging from the empathetic look on her face, she didn't get the vibe that she thought she was crazy at all.

"And in these dreams," Dr. Campbell went on as she leaned forward and offered Emily the box of tissues again, "what is Chris doing?"

And there were the real tears now, flowing freely down Emily's cheeks and dripping onto the floor beneath her. This was the last question she'd ever wanted to answer. The last thing she'd ever wanted to think about.

Ever.

She was done. She seriously didn't think she could go on any further. Hadn't she said enough? Given enough? She couldn't go on.

But Dr. Campbell leaned closer to her and whispered quietly... "Let him go." And Emily wasn't sure where those words had come from, or why, but they meant the world to her. She sat up in her chair and took the biggest breath she'd taken all morning. With those three words she'd realized something she never had before. For the past five years... and for many before that... she'd been holding on to him. To the things he'd done and the pain he'd inflicted.

By keeping her secret bottled up inside herself for so long, she'd kept him hidden there too. Without even trying to and without even knowing it, she'd allowed him to become a huge part of her life. In fact, he'd become a bigger part of her life than anyone else around her. Bigger even than herself.

In that second, with those three words, Emily knew for certain that Dr. Campbell was right. It was time to let him go.

She leaned back in her chair and shut her eyes as tightly as she could. She took a few deep breaths in and out and in and out and promised herself that after that day she would no longer allow him to destroy her life. Or even to be a part of her life. She opened her eyes again and looked over to where Dr. Campell was patiently waiting... watching her silently and without pressure.

"He's hitting me... hurting me with his fists and his belt... and he's..."

Dr. Campbell nodded, waiting, knowing there was more to say, even if she didn't want to say it.

Emily sighed, closed her eyes and shook her head... "And he's doing awful, unspeakable things to me."

Dr. Campbell removed her hand from Emily's shoulder and wrote something down. Then she glanced up at her and sighed, "You're a strong girl you know?"

Emily sighed, for once relieved.

She may not be the strong person that Dr. Campbell believed her to be... but at least she had taken the first step in beginning to let him go. And that was certainly something.