It had been three days since Emily had talked with Dr. Campbell. Three days since her flashback in the arena dressing room. And thankfully things had been quiet since then. They were still in New York City and would be for another week and for those three peaceful days, Emily had been able to do something she hadn't done in a long time.

Truly enjoy herself.

Marcus hadn't been kidding when he told her he was going to make sure she had the whole experience. She'd seen two Broadway shows already -- The Lion King with Nick and Legally Blonde with Leighanne (who was in town spending time with Brian) and he'd set her up with tickets to see Rent the next day with AJ. She done a lot of other fun things too. Brian had taken her on a bus tour of downtown, Howie had taken her out to lunch, and then all of them had gone together to visit the site of the World Trade Centers. That had been a somber experience though. Not much fun. Nothing really puts things into perspective quite like standing on the exact spot where thousands of people lost their lives that fateful day.

Nick had been the busiest of all the guys this trip... doing some extra work for a friend's album, but tonight was supposed to be their night. He was taking Emily to the Empire State Building... somewhere she'd always wanted to go since she was a little girl.

Emily stretched as she stepped out onto the balcony of their hotel room. She stared out across the city and thought about how insanely lucky she was to be alive at that exact moment. She thought about how far she'd come in just a few weeks... and how hard it was to believe she was really still alive. Especially considering just a week before she likely would have stood on that same balcony and contemplated throwing herself over the edge.

But now... now she wanted to live. Now she felt pretty good. No small thanks to the fact that for the first time in months she was sleeping well. She was relaxed.

Sure, she'd had at least one dream in that time... an older one... shortly after she'd fallen asleep the night before. But Nick had heard her talking in her sleep and had woken her up before it got too bad.

Emily had yet to talk to Nick about her appointment with Dr. Campbell or the things they'd discussed, other than to reassure him repeatedly that she was, in fact, okay. She was beginning to think he was actually starting to believe her too... at least he wasn't constantly watching her like a hawk now. There was a part of her that wanted to talk to him about everything... that part of her that really truly wanted to "let him go". She knew eventually she would have to tell Nick, but she wasn't ready just yet.

She figured she'd know when she was.

A knock at the door stirred her from her thoughts. She walked over and opened it to find Marcus standing in the hallway. He smiled at her as she grabbed her purse off the table in the hall, knowing he'd come to escort her to her ride. The two of them walked together to the elevator and then rode down to the hotel lobby in a comfortable silence. They stepped out into the cool evening air and Marcus opened the door of the limo so that she could climb in.

"Nick says he'll meet you there." He winked at her and she smiled back.

"Thanks Marcus."

He closed the door and they were on their way.

Emily sat quietly in the back and enjoyed the ride downtown, watching out the window as the city passed her by outside. When the limo finally stopped in front of her destination she sighed in awe.

"Wow," she said as the driver opened the door and offered her his hand. She took it and allowed him to help her out of the car. She stared up at the towering building before her and suddenly she felt small and insignificant. Like her problems really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Kind of the way she'd felt at ground zero a few days before.

She followed behind as the driver escorted her into the lobby and towards the elevator where they waited for several moments together. 'Nick must be waiting at the top,' she thought as she stepped in and the driver pressed the up button. They reached the 86th floor in a matter of seconds and the doors opened up into the observatory. Emily stepped out as the doors closed behind her and she turned suddenly to realize she was alone. It was a sickening feeling to be so high and so small and so alone. She looked around the room, wondering where all of the other observers might be and that's when her eyes fell upon Nick's figure, standing across the room. He was looking through the binoculars out into the evening sky.

"Hey," she called out to him and he turned around and grinned at her.

"Hey Em."

She walked over to where he was stood and he put his arm around her her. The two of them stood there together, looking out across the vast city that was New York. Just taking it all in.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" He asked as he motioned towards the skyline.

Emily nodded in agreement, "It's amazing. Is that George Washington Bridge over there?" She pointed towards the large bridge in the distance and he nodded and pointed to something else.

"And that's the Hudson River there."

"Wow... you can really see the whole world from up here, huh?"

"I know," he said, holding up an information booklet from the lobby, "according to this you can see into New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Connecticut and Massachusetts from up here."

"That's amazing."

The two of them stood there for a few more minutes just taking it all in together before Nick spoke again.

"You know," he whispered, his voice shaky, "if I could... I'd give you all of this."

Emily looked at him, unsure of what he meant or what to say, "What do you mean?"

"I mean Em... that if I could... I'd give you the world."

She smiled as he took her hand.

"I don't need the world Nick," she told him, wiping freshly fallen tears from her cheek... "I just need a family."

He wrapped his arm warmly around her and took her into a comforting hug. "It's just... you've been through so much Emily... and you're so strong. I just wish I could be a better family for you. I know I'm not your parent. I never will be. But just like any parent in the world, I will never stop wishing I could give you so much more than I can."

Emily shook her head, the tears falling faster than she could possibly control. She had been through a lot... he was right. But she wasn't that strong. And she hated to think that Nick felt he hadn't given her enough when in her heart she knew he couldn't have possibly given her anymore than he already had.

"Nick," she sniffled, looking up into the eyes of the only real family member she'd ever really known besides her mother, "I couldn't ask for a better big brother. If it weren't for you," and this was hard to say, "I wouldn't even be standing here right now."

He looked at her and shook his head, "I just wish I could understand what's going on with you."

Emily sighed heavily and stared down at the floor, wiping the tears as they continued to slide down her cheeks and drip to the pavement below. She felt his hand on her chin as he lifted it gently so that she was looking him in the eyes.

"Nick... don't say that..." she sniffed.

"I do."

She shook her head, "But I don't."

He glanced at her questioningly. Emily knew there was no way she could possibly make him understand this. Not without dumping some of her pain in his lap and that was something she never wanted to do.

"Nick," she sighed again, "the only way another person could possibly even begin to understand what I'm going through right now would be if they'd been through what I went through back then... and I wouldn't wish any of that on my worst enemy."

The look on his face told her she'd said more than she should have... but she had to.

"What you went through back then?" He only looked more confused as she nodded her head.

"My God Emily," he responded, this time he was the one who turned away, staring out towards the city, unable to look at her... "What happened to you?"

She could see the tears forming in the corners of his eyes now and she took the opportunity to reach out to him. They stood together for a few minutes, arms around each other, staring out over the city together. Emily watched Nick intently for a few moments, breathing deeply and hoping that maybe this moment, like all other moments, would pass. But it didn't. The awkward silence went on until she couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe right then was the right time...

"Nick," she said it so softly she wasn't sure he'd heard until he looked down at her, and so she continued, "I uh... I... I think I'm ready to talk about this. Er... I think I need to talk about this now."

Nick raised his eyebrows and she nodded.

"I'm ready."

He took her hand and guided her to one of the benches in the corner of the observatory. She stared down at the floor for several long minutes trying to collect her thoughts and control her breathing and knowing that more than anything else she'd ever done in her life... this was going to be extremely painful.

"Take your time," he said gently as he sat down beside her. It was clear Nick knew she couldn't be rushed into this. Clear he knew that trying to speed the process could end in an ugly manner.

"I don't really know where to start," she finally said, releasing Nick's hand and rubbing her own together. "I.. um... do you remember Chris?"

"Chris..." Nick said, obviously going back in his mind to remember the name and then, it seemed to click, "You mean the guy from the accident?"

Emily nodded. So they did know who it was who'd been involved in the wreck.

"I remember your mother talking about him a few times... but I never met him. He was her boyfriend right? What about him?" He looked over at Emily, obviously anxious for her to continue.

Well..." she said, steadying herself as best she could, knowing it would be better to just let it out... like ripping off a bandaid. She looked up into Nick's eyes and for a moment she saw Chris there. She blinked and shook her head and tried to clear the horrible thoughts. She looked again and it was Nick, staring back at her. Somehow she had a feeling he already knew what was coming. Or at the very least she knew by the look on his face that he suspected that whatever was coming was something really horrible. He seemed to be preparing himself to hear it as much as she was preparing herself to say it.

"Well...," she continued, the tears pouring down her face, "he used to... he...", she seemed to be having trouble letting go of the words. She felt his hand on her shoulder and took another deep breath.

"He used to do things to me Nick..." she finally choked... "really bad things."

The look on Nick's face said it all. It was a combination of pain and anger... of fury and sorrow. He stared down at the floor as he wiped the tears from his own eyes. He clenched his fists in frustration, he ran his fingers through his hair. She could tell he wanted so badly to hurt someone the way they'd hurt her... to get even. But that someone was no longer there to be able to pay the price.

"God Em."

He ran his fingers through his hair in an obvious attempt to calm his nerves.

"Yeah."

He turned his back towards her and leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

"I'm so, so fucking sorry Emily. I should have been there for you. I should have known. My God, dad should have known. How could he not have know!? We should have done something for you."

That was all it took for Emily to burst into tears.

"Please don't Nick!" she sobbed into her hands, "You don't have to be sorry! It's not your fault." She was crying hard now... finally letting go of the emotions she'd held onto for five and half long years. "Please Nick... please, it's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault but mine!"

He stopped crying immediately and grabbed both her arms. "Emily, it's not your fault. Don't ever say that. I don't ever want to hear you say that.! No one deserves that kind of shit. No one." He took her in his arms and she cried quietly on his chest. Emily could feel him crying too.

After a few long minutes like this she pulled away and stood up. She looked down at him and tried her best to smile. She was done crying. She was done confessing. And she was done feeling sorry for herself. And Nick was right... it wasn't her fault anymore than it was anyone else's fault. It was his fault and his alone. And now... she had let him go.

Nick looked up at her and tried his best to paste a smile on his own face. If she could smile then he could too.

"Let's go to dinner then," Emily said as she pulled him up from his seat and he took her hand in his.

"Let's go to dinner," he repeated.

They took one last look at the city as they waited for the elevator to arrive. Emily would never forget this view... this night... or this moment. It was certainly one to remember. They rode back to the lobby in silence and headed out into the night together, hand in hand towards the limo that was waiting for them out front. Nick opened the door and Emily climbed in and slid across as he climbed in behind her.

"Nick," she said, leaning over and taking his hand again as he looked over with a faint smile, "thank you for listening."

"No," he said as he rubbed her fingers with his thumb, "thank you for letting me in."