- Text Size +

You can't really smile until you've shed some tears,
I could die today or I might live on for years.
I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic...
Awful, beautiful life.

Emily found herself sitting on the dock outside her brother's home in Marathon, Florida. A place she'd come to know and love. A place she could rest and relax and really enjoy herself. It'd been nearly a year since that life changing night in that hotel room. She'd certainly changed. She was home on spring break from Boston College and she'd spent the week just hanging out with her family. She laid back against the cool wood of the dock, watching as the sun began to set out over the bay as Nick, Aaron and her father rode their jet skis in wild circles out on the water.

The events that transpired on that trip to New York City changed her life forever.

For better.

Emily had called Dr. Campbell first thing the following morning and she'd told her to come in right away. They'd sat together in her office for several hours, talking about her breakthrough and what it meant and what it would mean for her future.

And just like Dr. Campbell had warned during that meeting, It had taken Emily a long, long time to even begin to accept the fact that her mother had died because of 'him'. It had been much different... much easier, when she'd believed the entire thing had been a horrible accident. It was harder to come to grips with the fact that it hadn't really been an accident at all. Dr. Campbell had explained that most likely Emily's brain had blocked the memory from her mind in hopes to protect her very young and vurnerable self from the impact of it. Perhaps her amnesia following the accident was less from the injury to her skull and more of her mind simply knowing that her heart couldn't take it.

Nick had supported his sister through everything. He'd sat beside her the entire night after it happened, and for days following. He'd told her he was sorry more times than she could count. He said he would do anything she wanted him to do to make things right... or to make things better.

He even offered to call the police department who'd originally handled the accident all those years before and have them reopen the investigation into her mother's death. They had ruled it an accident... a horrible and tragic accident... and that's how everyone she knew and everyone in their town had viewed it. Nick told Emily that maybe they could get the cause of death changed from accidental to homicide. But Emily didn't want that. Not for her mom who she knew had tried so hard to keep the secret of the things that man had done to her, for the same reasons Emily had... fear and shame. And Emily also didn't want that for his family. Perhaps they already knew the kind of person he was... or maybe not. If they didn't, she didn't want to be the one to bring it to light. If they did, she didn't want to be the one to reopen old wounds.

When their trip to New York finally ended after several extra days due to the breakthrough and Nick's insistence that they stay as long as necessary for Emily to talk to Dr. Campbell, Nick had brought her home to Florida and it was then that she'd begun what she now looked at as her "new life." He'd taken her to visit her mother's grave and for the first time since her death, Emily was really truly able to say good bye. It was as if the whole experience made what once seemed like an awful nightmare a true reality. Like having that nightmare was the key to waking up from a horrible dream.

Emily glanced up from her spot on the dock to where the guys were cruising around on the water. Aaron zoomed past their dad and threw water up onto him, soaking his clothes and making him holler out in surprise. A few moments later Bob was laughing and Emily couldn't help but smile.

Their reconciliation had come way too late... but it felt good. She had to admit, she'd never really given her father the chance he deserved. She'd realized sometime during her long talk with Dr. Campbell that somewhere deep inside, without even knowing it, she had blamed her dad for all of the bad things that Chris had done to her when she was younger. She'd thought many nights, "If he hadn't broken my mother's heart... hadn't lied to her... hadn't left us for them". And she thought that way for a very long time. Slowly that began to change though, and one weekend after they'd returned from New York, during her big graduation and going away to college party, she'd overheard him talking to Nick, telling him that none of it would have happened if it hadn't been for him... that "all of this was his fault." From that day on she'd tried her best not to blame him anymore. Especially since it was pretty obvious he already blamed himself.

Emily had started college in August. Nick and her dad had driven her up to Boston the week she'd moved in and together they toured all over the city. Her first experience living alone had been amazing... a blessing... filled with friends and fun and the chance to really be herself in a place where no one knew what had happened in her past. It was hard to believe that if her life had been different... if college had come just a year earlier, she would never had made it.

Nick zoomed up in front of her on his jet ski and sat there for a moment just looking at her and studying her face. "What are you thinking about?" He asked, obviously having noticed her look of deep concentration.

"Nothin'."

He smiled and hopped off his jet ski and up onto the dock beside her, taking a seat on the ground next to her, their feet dangling over the side into the water. They sat in silence like that for a few moments and soon, Aaron and their dad had joined them to watch as the sun sank down even lower in the distance.

"No really though," he whispered into her ear, "what ya thinkin' about?"

Emily smiled and sighed... "just life."

Nick nodded his head.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Nick asked as he looked out over the water, glistening in the twilight.

"You mean, life?" she asked, glancing at him confused.

He laughed, "the sunset you goofball!"

Emily nodded... "Oh. yeah..."

He wrapped his arm around her and they watched as the sun finally set completely, leaving them in almost total darkness.

A darkness Emily no longer feared.

"... life sure is beautiful."