Emily peeled her eyelids back and stretched herself out on the couch, snuggling in deeply beneath the blankets. It was definitely a chilly morning. She looked around the suite and noticed that all seemed to be quiet. A peaceful kind of quiet though... not the kind that scared her. Not the kind that made her want to swallow a whole bottle of pills or jump out of hotel windows.

No... this was nice.

After a few minutes the silence faded and she could hear the sound of running water coming from the direction of Howie's room. She snuggled in deeper still and closed her eyes, giggling softly when he started to sing. Howie always sang in the shower. This morning it was the theme song from Sesame Street.

She laid there peacefully and listened to his singing, fading in and out of sleep until a silence once more settled in. Then the door to the hotel room clicked open and she could hear her father's voice. "I know Nick... but I really think we need to figure all of this out before you leave this morning."

Emily buried herself as deep down under the covers as she could, pretending with all her might to be asleep. She really didn't want to talk to him this morning. She really didn't want to hear what he had to say. She didn't even want to see him.

She felt Nick lean down beside her and rub her back gently, his warm breath against her ear as he whispered, "You awake Em?"

She didn't flich or move a muscle. No she wasn't. Or at least she didn't want to be. Maybe if she pretended well enough they would just let her sleep.

"It's almost 10 Nick..." Bob interjected, "why don't you wake her up."

"No." He replied, probably in a harsher tone than he really meant because his next words were more carefully chosen, "No, I mean... if you'd been here last night... if you'd stayed up with her like I did..." He paused for a moment before continuing, "she needs to rest."

She silently let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in.

"It was that bad then?" Bob asked Nick from across the room now. She could tell they'd moved into the kitchen so she squinted her eyes open and peeked at where they were standing side-by-side against the counter.

"I... I can't even explain it." Nick stuttered, running his fingers through his hair. "I mean, I basically just laid awake all night and watched her toss and turn. She kept crying out at whatever was in her nightmares to stop. I just felt so totally helpless."

Emily squeezed her eyes shut tightly again and willed herself not to cry... but the tears were already there, stinging her eyeballs and threatening to spill over. She breathed deeply and tried her best to relax. She hadn't even remembered dreaming after moving out to the couch.

"I can't figure out what's bothering her," Nick said as he slumped down into a seat at the table and rubbed his forehead with his palms, "but it seems pretty damned serious."

Bob shook his head and placed his hand on his son's shoulder, "When the hell did things start getting this bad?"

Nick looked up at him from his seat and Emiliy could see the tears glistening in his eyes from as far away as her spot on the couch. He sighed and raised his hands to his face again and it was all she could do to keep from getting up and running out of the room... but she didn't. He rubbed his forehead vigorously and then finally placed his hands back into his lap.

"I don't really know dad," he shook his head and leaned it against the table. "I mean... when we filmed the show in LA she flip flopped between staying with Howie and staying with AJ for two months. They both expressed concern to me. Howie said she acted strange... different than her normal self. AJ said she seemed depressed. I tried to talk to her about it but she just ignored me. And then, like I think any normal person would have done, we all just attributed it to Angela's death. To her mother's death. Because what teenager wouldn't be a mess going through something like that? She seemed fine when we got back to Florida so I didn't think anything else about it.

"And?" Emily heard Bob prod, knowing there had to be more to the story than... "she seemed fine so I didn't say anything else about it."

"Then a few months ago I... I ..." He started crying, choking on the words he wanted so badly to say but simply couldn't.

"What Nick?... What happened?"

She heard him take a breath and watched as he stood and walked over to the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of water and chugged it quickly down. He paced back and forth in front of the sink a few times and then finally he spoke. "I came home from recording with the guys one day and the house was really quiet. Too quiet. I knew something was wrong. I mean... I just had this horrible feeling that something was really wrong..."

The tears were stinging Emily's eyes once more. Was he really going to tell him this? Her deepest, darkest secret? Was he really, seriously, going to tell him?

"I hollered for Emily and she didn't answer. When I finally found her she... she..."

Emily watched, holding her breath as Bob reached out and steadied his son, "She what, Nickolas?"

"She was in the kitchen sitting at the table with a knife in her hand... she... she was about to slit her wrists."

Nick didn't say anthing more. He didn't have to. He stopped there and buried his face in his hands and sobbed quietly. Emily hated herself in that moment for what she had done to him... for ruining his life. For making him cry. Her shame was now his shame. Her pain was becoming his pain. Maybe the voices were right. Maybe they'd all be better off without her.

But Bob didn't let him stop there. "And what did you do Nick," he prompted, shaking them both from their thoughts.

"She told me she wanted to die dad. She said she was going to kill herself. That she didn't deserve to live." He wiped his eyes and stifled a sob. "I took the knife away from her and called Brian. He said I should call someone... that she needed help. But she convinced me not to. She said she'd be okay. And I listened to her, like a moron."

"Nick you should have told me this earlier. You should have called me." He didn't sound angry... but she knew he was.

"I thought she was getting better dad. I thought she was okay. She seemed okay until a few weeks ago." Nick was crying harder now and he jumped as the door to Howie's room opened and Howie stepped out.

"Everything okay?" he asked, taking note of Nick's tears as he stepped out into the room.

"Everything's going to be fine." Bob responded as he took Nick in his arms. "She's going to get help now Nick. We're checking her into Blueriver today. No more questions... this is no longer an option."

Emily felt the anger building inside of her like water getting ready to boil over. Like a firework about to explode. He dare he say that everything was going to be fine!? She buried herself deep down beneath the covers and shut her eyes tightly. Maybe she could make herself invincible. If only they knew how many times in her life she'd desperately wished she could become invinsible.

"He can't make me do this," she thought to herself... "I'll be 18 soon. I'll run away or something. They can't make me do this."

She felt the tears welling up inside her and no matter how hard she tried, she knew this time she wouldn't be able to hold them back. She sunk her face down into her pillow and let them fall. Her tears turned into cries... her cries into sobs... and pretty soon she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Em?"

It was Nick.

She was caught.