She couldn't bring herself to roll over. She couldn't face him.

"Emily," he whispered... "it's okay."

He was sitting beside her now, she could feel him there next to her as he leaned down and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her quickly into a hug. He held her close as she buried her head into his chest and continued to sob.

"I'll leave you guys alone." She heard Howie say as the door to the hotel suite opened and then closed once more. Now she was alone with the two of them. Alone with the two people she least wanted to be alone with in the world... at least, right then. She knew they were going to make her go to Blueriver. To the insane asylum. Even though they called it something else, something not so morbid... that's exactly was it was. And that's exactly where they were going to send her.

Forever.

She just knew it.

She buried her head deeper in Nick's chest and wished and prayed, like so many times in her life before that she could just disappear. She wanted so badly to tell them that she wasn't crazy... that none of this was because she was crazy. But if she could come up with words good enough to convince her own mind of this, then how in the hell was she supposed to come up with the words to say out loud that would be convincing enough for someone else?

"Emily look at me," Nick whispered, gently cupping her chin in his hands and lifting her face to meet his own. His eyes showed a mixture of sadness and concern... none of the anger that Emily had expected to see. "What's going on with you?"

She shook her head and sighed, looking away from him and staring at a fixed spot on the floor, biting her lip as hard as she could to keep the tears from coming. "I don't want to do this anymore Nick."

"Do what Em?" She could tell in his voice that he was expecting a breakthrough. Everytime Nick talked to her she could tell he expected her to just come pouring out with whatever it was. If only life were that easy. If only she could just give up and tell them she needed the help. Then they would be moving a step in the right direction. But life wasn't that easy. It's not easy to tell someone you're falling apart at the seams.

But regardless of how many times they went through this, she could tell Nick still hoped for that breakthrough everytime they talked.

She really wished she could give it to him.

"I... I... I can't," Emily stared down at the floor, fully aware of that the words she intended to say next, but knowing the words, 'I just want to die'... would totally and completely break his heart.

"You can't what Em?" He asked, prodding her along. Not letting her off the hook so easily this time.

She looked into his eyes briefly before glancing over to where their father was seated in a chair across the room, watching the two of them silently. Amazingly so far he hadn't said a word.

"I can't go to that place," she finally said with a sigh as she closed her eyes.

She couldn't tell Nick she wanted to die. She wouldn't break his heart that way again, but she would tell him this.

"I won't go there Nick. I won't let you... either of you..." and she turned to Bob and stared at him for a few seconds before turning back to Nick, "send me to that place."

Nick slid down in the seat beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, "then we won't make you go Emily."

She heard Bob gasp from across the room. He started to say something, but Emily looked up just in time to see Nick raise his hand in gesture to silence their father's words before he continued, "You don't have to go there Em," he continued, "but you do have to promise me, right here, right now, that as soon as we get to New York you will talk to someone. That you will see a professional and get some help." He looked at Bob who shrugged his shoulders in defeat and nodded in agreement.

"Emily," Bob added, trying to sound sympathetic, but failing as he generally did, "You have to get some help."

She glanced back and forth between the two of them. Bob perched on the edge of his seat, anxiously awaiting her response. Nick staring down at the floor, obviously too exhausted to really care anymore. Voices still echoing clearly in the back of her mind, she knew they were right. She needed more help than anyone here could give her. And so she nodded her head in defeat, "Okay."

Nick was beside her again, taking her in his arms and hugging her tightly. He repeated to her over and over again that things were going to be okay. That things would get better now. That this was the first step in the right direction.

She wanted to believe him. She tried.

And then he was leaving her on the couch, while he walked their father to the door where he told him goodbye for the both of them.

He closed the door as Bob left and turned to face her. "You're gonna be okay... you know that right?" He smiled at her and leaned down to kiss the top of her head gently.

She shook her head, continuing to stare at the door that her father had just walked out of. It seemed like all he'd ever done was walk out of her life. "Why did he have to be here for this?"

Nick followed her eyes to the door and sighed. "He's just trying to protect you Em," he responded as he walked to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee, showing her the mug as if to ask if she wanted any and lowering it again when she shook her head. "He's worried about you too you know?"

"Yeah," she whispered quietly enough that she didn't think he could hear as she wiped her freshly falling tears with the palms of her hands, "well then where was he 10 years ago when he really should have been worried?"

Nick's head shot up from the seat he'd taken at the table and he eyed her questioningly. She hoped he hadn't really heard her... he couldn't have heard her could he? She averted her eyes and stood quickly, walking towards her room and a brisk pace, hoping to avoid any questions he might be thinking about tossing her way.

"Emily wait!" She heard him say loudly just as she was closing the door behind her. She locked the bolt and leaned against the wall breathing heavily. She took a few deep breaths and waited for the knock which came only a few moments later.

"I'm gonna take a shower," she hollered, trying to sound calm and collected, as she moved away from the door towards the bathroom, "I'll be out in a little while."

"Alright." she heard him mutter in a defeated tone.

Too close for comfort.