Chapter 29
I woke the next morning feeling so happy and relaxed after the amazing night we’d shared. I turned, expecting to see AJ sleeping next to me, but all I found was an empty space. Maybe he’s in the bathroom. I got out of bed and grabbed a t-shirt out of the drawer, pulling it on as I moved across the room. There was no sign of his clothes.
“AJ?” I called softly, but there was no answer.
He wasn’t in the bathroom. I walked downstairs and where there’d been a trail of our clothes the night before, now his were gone.
“Alex?” I called a little louder, but there was no reply. I went from room to room but knew that he wasn’t here. He’d gone at some point during the night or very early this morning, without so much as a goodbye or a note.
The fucking bastard! He fucking used me for sex, and stupid me, I let it happen!
I walked back up the stairs; my happy mood of only a few minutes ago was long gone. I felt used and hurt as I climbed back into bed and pulled the duvet up over my head. I just wanted to wallow for a while and let the tears flow freely.
Last night had been so incredible and so much more than just sex. We’d talked and laughed and fallen asleep curled up together after making love once more. I felt as if maybe there really could be something between us besides the sexual attraction. Obviously I’d been mistaken. Obviously he saw me as just a fuck buddy, someone he could turn to when he fancied getting laid. Well, I wasn’t about to let myself be used in that way again. Sure, the sex was good, more than good, but I couldn’t put myself through the heartache again. Because whether I liked it or not, I was falling for him big time.
“Bastard” I muttered as I grabbed my phone and began typing in a message.
Thanks for saying goodbye this morning, asshole! – Steph
I hit send and slammed the phone down. Within seconds, it was ringing and AJ’s number was flashing on the screen. I pressed reject and turned the phone off, I really wasn’t in the mood for talking to him. The way I was feeling at that precise moment in time, I wouldn’t have cared if I never saw him again. I certainly didn’t want to speak to him.
So instead, I showered and got dressed and decided to get out of the house. I didn’t care where; I just wanted to go somewhere where I wouldn’t be reminded of him. I ended up at the beach and sat down on a large rock which was jutting out of the sand. There weren’t many people about, just the occasional jogger and a couple of surfers, so the tranquillity suited me just fine.
“What the hell am I doing here?” I said to myself. I felt foolish and naïve and totally used. True, I knew this thing between AJ and myself wasn’t going to end in hearts and flowers, I knew we had to see each other under the terms set out by the court, but I hadn’t expected to have these feelings for him. I hadn’t expected to feel an all engulfing passion within me whenever he was near, whenever he looked at me with those incredibly gorgeous brown eyes.
Coming here to Los Angeles was a big mistake and it was only going to end in heartbreak. My heartbreak. AJ obviously didn’t give a fuck.
I got up from the rock and dusted the sand off; sitting there all day wasn’t going to solve my problems. It was time to stop moping, to pull myself together and get a grip. I’d got over a man before, and I’d no doubt have more heartache in the future, it was part of life.
I strolled along the pier, wandering aimlessly, when a sign in a coffee shop window caught my eye.
Help wanted, apply within
Hadn’t I said that I needed a distraction? I didn’t want some boring office job which tied me down all day, but a nice little part time job would suit me just fine. I walked in and went straight to the counter to enquire.
“Hi, I’m enquiring about the job vacancy” I smiled brightly
“Oh right, let me call Ronan from out the back…Ro…someone here for you” she called “good luck”
“Thanks” I replied and waited for the manager at a table off to the side.
“Hi, I’m Ronan Duffy, I understand you’re asking about the job?” he said, his accent undeniably Irish (and god damn sexy too, but he wasn’t my type and I certainly wasn’t looking for romance!)
“Steph Mahoney” I introduced myself “and yes, I’m interested in the job”
“Well Steph, it’s only a couple of hours a day I’m needing someone, to cover the busy lunchtime mainly y’know” he explained in that Irish lilt.
“Sounds perfect” I assured him
We discussed things like the pay (which wasn’t much, but it’s not something I was worried about) and hours and exactly what I’d be required to do. I told Ronan that I had no experience in this kind of work, but he told me that I’d soon get the hang of it.
So I now had a job and I’d be starting tomorrow. I’d be working with the girl I’d already met, whose name was Lisa, and I was looking forward to it.
I walked home in a much better mood than I’d left it in. That all changed once I saw who was waiting outside, leaning against my front door with a cigarette in his mouth.
“What do you want?” I asked coldly
“Listen Steph…I’m sorry OK, but you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you, you lo…” he began but I cut him off
“Well maybe you should’ve!” I shouted “do you have any idea how used I felt? I thought…”
He cut in “Yeah, well maybe I shouldn’t have just gone, maybe I should’ve woke you, but I was late for work and you were asleep. What the fuck was I supposed to do? Maybe I shouldn’t have even come over last night!”
“Maybe you shouldn’t” I yelled “because I can’t do this. I won’t be someone you just turn to when you want sex. I’m not that kind of person. I have feelings you know!”
“And you think I don’t have feelings?” he asked and flicked his cigarette end away “you have no fucking idea...no idea”
“I…” I began and stopped. I didn’t know what to say and knew that if I opened my mouth, I’d just make things worse.
“You think I only want you for sex? If I only wanted sex, I could get that anywhere. Steph, I don’t know what the fuck is happening between us, but I want more than just sex” he said and closed his eyes, his head resting against the door.
“I don’t know what’s happening either…but I know I don’t want it to stop” I admitted to him and walked up to him, stopping right in front of him.
“We’re both a couple of fuck ups aren’t we” he said and looked down into my eyes, turning my insides to jelly with just one look.
“Uh huh” I answered and then I leaned into him, wrapped my arms around his neck and reached up to kiss him “come on, let’s take this inside”
“Oh no, I’m taking you out on a date” he smiled
“You don’t have to” I said “aren’t we past that?”
“If we’re gonna do this, then we’re gonna do it properly. I want to take you out Steph, I told you, I want more than just sex” he confessed "so I'm gonna prove it"
“OK, but I can’t go out like this, I’m hardly dressed for a date” I protested looking down at my jeans, flip flops and t-shirt
“You look pretty damn good to me” he grinned as he eyed me up and down appreciatively
“Smooth talker” I teased
“You aint seen nothing yet” he chuckled “come on”
I had no idea what the future held, but I would welcome whatever was heading my way as I took his hand and let him lead me down the drive.
“Shit, I forgot, I’ve not got my car” he looked at me apologetically
“Don’t worry, we’ll take my car” I said “you can drive”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Another chapter already! Hope you like :)
Chapter End Notes:
So, what do you think? Are they doing the right thing? Let me know!
