Chapter 41
I didn’t know what time it was or how long I’d sat on that bench, but eventually I stopped snivelling. I decided it was time to face the music, so I switched my BlackBerry back on and immediately noticed the red light flashing. Of course he’d tried to call and text me, how could I have been so selfish as to run off into the night and not tell anyone? I guess the wine had a little bit of influence over my decision making.
It was a little bit too far to walk home, I’d be walking all night, plus my feet were absolutely killing me. And so I called for a taxi and then just sat there, my killer heels in my hands as I waited for my taxi to arrive.
“You OK?” the driver asked when I climbed in. I must’ve looked a right mess, but was grateful I’d worn waterproof mascara at least.
“I’m fine thanks” I replied and gave him my address, then leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes for the ride.
I’d had time to calm down and think whilst I’d been sitting on that bench, plus the effects of the wine were wearing off. Maybe I had acted a little too hastily. Wine did have a tendency to cloud my judgement, especially after a few glasses. Had I got the wrong end of the stick? Were they even talking about me? Maybe running off like that had been crazy…OK it was definitely crazy. I didn’t know anything anymore. But I knew one thing for sure; AJ and I really needed to talk. I needed to know where we stood. I hadn’t doubted his love before tonight; he not only told me but showed me often enough how much he loved me. He made me feel wanted, loved, happy and all the other things you expect from a relationship.
“Here you go” the driver said and I fumbled in my little bag for the fare.
With my shoes still in my hands (my feet hurt too much after all that running to put them back on again) I padded up the driveway to my house barefooted. I hadn’t left the outside security light on, so I didn’t notice the solitary figure slumped down on my steps in the dark until I was almost on top of him. It was Alex. He was sitting there with his head resting against his knees, an untouched burnt out cigarette dangling between his fingers.
“Alex?” I whispered softly
“Steph…oh thank fucking god you’re OK!” he looked up and I could see the worry etched on his face “Where did you go? What happened? Why didn’t you answer your cell?” He must’ve seen that something wasn’t right in my expression, and so he got up slowly but made no further move towards me.
I couldn’t tell him that I’d thought I heard him talking to Nick. I couldn’t lose my temper with him for something he may not have even said. I’d done all my crying. Now it was time to talk. I had to know where we stood.
“I’m not sure I can do this anymore” I said and bit my lip as I looked down at the shoes in my hands
“Do what?” he queried, his voice sounding rough
“This. Us. I don’t know where we’re going with this and it scares the shit out of me” I replied and looked up to meet his equally sad eyes.
“What are you saying here Steph, are you saying it’s over? I thought we were happy. How can we go from happy one minute to having this fucking conversation the next? I don’t understand” he sighed
“Hey, I’m not saying it’s over” I said and placed my hand on his arm “I’m saying we need to talk. Let’s go inside”
I opened the front door and he followed me inside the house. We walked into the kitchen and I switched the kettle on to make us a cup of coffee. I needed to keep my hands busy. I was nervous as hell.
We took our cups into the living room and sat down on opposite ends of the sofa.
“So let’s talk” he said and took a sip of coffee, then placed his cup down and gave me his undivided attention.
“I’ve been thinking, not just tonight but for a little while. Do you realise we haven’t once mentioned what’s going to happen when this six months is up…” I began
“But Steph, you know I love you…” he interrupted
“I know you do, and I love you. But what do you want out of this relationship? We haven’t talked about the future, we’ve just lived for the moment, which is great, but...I don’t know how you feel about marriage or anything like that”
“I always wanted to get married when the right woman came along” he said and moved a little closer.
“You did?” I asked
“Uh huh” he replied and fixed his intense brown eyes on me “look Steph, you aren’t the only one who’s been thinking recently. I know we met under crazy circumstances, and I know we’ve gone about this all wrong, but…shit…I want to be with you in every way”
“I want to be with you too” I said and moved a little closer to him
“In fact, I was even going to ask you something tonight…” he trailed off
“You were? What were you going to ask me?” I questioned
“It’s gonna sound stupid, but I was going to ask you to marry me” he declared
“But we’re already married” I said
“I know, but neither of us can really remember that quickie Las Vegas ceremony. I want to do it properly, I want to be able to remember in years to come how beautiful you look when you agree to be my wife in front of all our family and friends” he said “I want to give you the honeymoon we never had. I want the happily ever after Steph”
“Oh Alex” I sighed “that has got to be the most romantic thing I ever heard. Yes”
“Yes?” he asked
“Yes I’ll marry you again” I replied and we merged in the middle of the sofa, where I showered him with a million kisses.
After some hot make up/celebratory sex, we snuggled up in bed talking about the future. Why we hadn’t had this conversation before now I didn’t know. Maybe we both felt that under normal circumstances, it would be a bit soon to talk about living together and marriage. But there was nothing normal about mine and AJ’s relationship.
“There is one more thing” he said as I rested my head against his bare chest
“And what’s that?” I asked, completely content in his presence and so glad we’d got this little misunderstanding cleared up.
“Move in with me?” he asked “or I’ll move in here, whatever you want, wherever you want”
“I’d love to” I replied and snuggled closer to him.
~*~
The lawyers were informed of our decision to stay married and therefore the court order to attend marriage guidance sessions was cancelled, which was something we were both glad of. That Doctor Jeremy Kyle was a self-obsessed arsehole who just loved the sound of his own voice, we often left a session and laughed all the way home about something he’d said or done, or the way he’d stand and pace his office, looking in his large framed mirror as he passed it to check that his hair was still immaculate. Now we wouldn’t have to go there ever again.
My friends back home who knew about me and AJ were thrilled with the news; in fact Izzy had even said she was surprised we hadn’t called it off sooner.
“The chemistry between the two of you was obvious from day one” she said whilst we were all on Skype, and I smiled at her words.
“So when is the official wedding? Have you told your parents yet?” asked Jess
“Don’t forget our invites” chipped in Chloe
“We haven’t set a date yet, but how much planning does a wedding take after all?” I said “and yes, you’re all invited and no, my parents don’t know yet”
“What did they think of him when they met him?” asked Jess
“Well, as you can imagine, they weren’t impressed when they first set eyes on him. You should’ve seen my Mum’s face when she saw all the tattoos on his hands and arms. You know what she’s like about tattoos, she thinks they’re disgusting. But once they’d gotten talking to him and realised he was a nice guy, they mellowed out” I replied
“I think any parent would react like that on first sight” Chloe giggled
“Not just parents either. Remember how I felt about him at first? I can’t believe I was so shallow back then. I’m glad I got to know the man behind the image because I fell in love” I grinned and they all made puking noises in response
“So it’s all hearts and flowers these days then?” Chloe asked
“Oh god no, we have our fair share of arguments, usually petty little things, but then the make-up sex makes it all worth it” I divulged
“Too much information” Jess declared and laughed
We chatted for a while longer and agreed that we’d all have to get together soon. Now that those sessions had ended, there was nothing stopping me from going home for a nice long visit as a few days just wouldn’t be long enough. I wondered how AJ would feel about a trip to England.
~*~
As it turned out, I went home to England alone for a couple of weeks. With the new album release came a lot of promotion and so AJ would be gone for about two and a half weeks, maybe even longer. I could’ve gone with him, he’d asked me to go along, but I knew he’d be busy from morning till night and so thought this would be the perfect opportunity to go home for a visit.
Author's Chapter Notes:
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Chapter End Notes:
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