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Alias: rebellious_one [Contact]
Real Name: Reb
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Member since: 03/24/07
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Write to escape everyday life.

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Reviews by rebellious_one
If Tomorrow Never Comes by MonkeyAbu Rated: PG-13 Liked [ - ]
Summary: Past Featured Story

 


Ever since his brush with death as a child, Brian has lived every day with the fear of not knowing when today will be his last. When the heart demons of his past surface once more, he is faced with the struggle of realizing that tomorrow is never promised.


Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys
Characters: Brian
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: None
Series: None
Chapters: 26 Table of Contents
Completed: No
Word count: 104232
Read Count: 72821


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Published:
03/11/07 » Updated: 08/15/15
Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 04/30/08 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 1

Man oh man... Brian's ailment is EXTREMELY scary!! The way you wrote this, it was as if I was in Brian's shoes, and the way you described his pain was almost as if I could feel it. What a way to paint a picture with words. And on a lighter note, AJ couldn't stop swearing, even if his life depended on it, lol. Poor Brian... on to review the second chappy. :D

Author's Response: Seems to be the general consensus that I was able to write it so that the reader could feel as if they were in Brian's shoes, experiencing the pains and emotions right along with him. AJ's got my potty mouth, although I sometimes think I swear more then him. I have quite the potty mouth and I am known as the resident smart ass. LoL. Glad to know that I have pulled you in with this. *big squee* I love having fans! *another big squee*

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 04/30/08 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 3

Oh wow... this is just the second chapter, and I find it EXTREMEMLY emotional, =[ I can't imagine how it must feel to be the bearer of bad news... poor Kevin. And I'm sorry, but I kinda laughed in the beginning, with the interaction between Nick and Baylee... Nick seems like the type to go up and up with a toddler, lol. But, back the the seriousness... I really enjoy your choice of words and description. I may only be on the second chapter, but the story is very vivid, and I like how you delve into each guys' feelings and what stems from it. Man oh man... I'm already emotional on the second chapter, but here I go, onto chapter 3. =]



Author's Response:

It's been rather difficult to delve into each of their minds because of the emotional aspect of it, but it's vital for the story. Yes, Brian is the main character and yes, everything bad is happening to him, but he is not the only one affected by all of it. Everyone else in his life is affected by what is going on in their own individual ways. Without expressing the sub characters inner emotions and reactions, I think the story would lack much needed support and frankly it would get old, boring, and lose all life.

I know the scene between Nick and Baylee at the beginning of this chapter may have seemed a tad bit cliche, however, it was a major reflection on my own personal characteristics and personality. I don't deal well with drama so I try to find or create humor to make up for what it currently going on. Plus, I hate hospitals. But I thought that little scene worked nicely and it paved a path for the next scenes.

Sometimes I think I'm rather anal when it comes to descriptiveness but that in my opinion is one of the most vital aspects of a story, otherwise it lacks life and interest. But the general consensus has told me so far that I am succeeding with my descriptions and the way I am working out the emotions.

Glad to know you are still enjoying this and thanks for the review hon! My PR so totally rocks! [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 04/30/08 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 2

Damnit!! Lol. I was on chapter three, thinking it was chapter two this whole time, lol. Don't know how that happened. Well, just got done reading the "real" chapter two, lol. Man... the part where Kevin said "My cousin is dyring... and I couldn't even tell him." that  got me SUPER emo!! =[ Okay, on to chapter 4 now, lol.

Author's Response: Well, that certainly makes me feel better now because I couldn't for the life of me understand why you were calling chapter 3 "chapter 2". It's all good though. I remember when I wrote that line from Kevin...it took a while to get it out because I was trying to imagine how exactly I would feel if I were in that position, but I realized there wasn't much thought that needed to be put into it. Kevin's statement said it all. Thanks for the review! [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 04/30/08 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 4

Baylee is just adorable in this story, you did a damn good job writing him. I couldn't help than to smile when Brian attempted to be humorous in his state. I was beginning to wonder where the hell Leighanne is for all of this, but I assume she'll come in when I continue reading. I feel really bad for Brian... especially for his mother, having to sit there and listen to her son talk as if his ailment was nothing but the flu, when in actuality he's dying. I hope they find a heart for him.



Author's Response: Yeah, trust that Leighanne will make an appearance soon. Thanks for the review. [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 04/30/08 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 5

Wow... this chapter got me misty eyed here. I saw my life in words... which is eerie. I may not have gone through heart ailments or whatever, but with the way you wrote how the parents were skeptic on seeing Brian, and how Brian cried out for help... it brought back memories for me. I remember when my father was in the hospital for an accident, and I couldn't bring myself up to see him. I didn't want to see how different he looked, didn't want to see how death was looming somewhere near him. You explained the feelings so vividly, and it brought me back to how I felt when I was visiting my father in the hospital. Now, with the whole thing of Brian crying out to Jackie, saying how much he hurt and how he didn't want to be in pain anymore... reminded me of how I was when I was in the hospital recently. The pain was unbearable, and I just remember crying out to my mom, asking her... begging her to take away the pain I was feeling, as she stood there watching me helplessly. You see, this chapter brought back many memories for me, and it was as if I was in this story (minus the heart failure going) Gosh, this is sooo sad... I'm wiping tears away as I type this review, lol. *goes on to read chapter 6*



Author's Response: Wow...all I can say is wow. I don't think I've ever gotten such a response like that before. But thank you I think? I can completely relate to you when it comes to your father in the hospital. About four years ago my dad was involved in a horrible car accident over in Tennessee. Mom and I got the call that evening, hopped in the car, and drove all night from Missouri to Tennessee to see him. Those 10 hours of driving were horrible because we didn't know what was going to happen. And when we finally got to the hospital it was so hard going into the room to see him. Then before they took him in for surgery he was telling me how thirsty he was and near begging me to get him some water but they wouldn't allow him to have any and I had to sit there telling him no that he wasn't allowed to have any right then. It was so weird and heartbreaking because it was like he had been reduced to a small child. Thanks for the review though Reb! I appreciate it! Can't wait to see what else you have to say! [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 6

Curse stubborn Brian!! Lol. He doesn't want to die, yet he doesn't want to go to this rehabilitation center that could possibly aide him in his condition better than the hospital could. And uh-oh for the little dispute between Nick and Brian. Hope Brian will be okay. *goes on to chapter 7*



Author's Response: Can't blame Brian for being a little shook over what's going on. I'm sure I would have the same attitude if I were in his position. Thanks for the review PR! [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 7

Ugh... was that an MRI Brian had to go through?! I hate MRI's, lol. And poor Isabella. =[ I enjoyed the small bits of humor you added within this chapter, with Brian being his slightly silly self, and his mother by his side, lightly scolding him for his antics, lol. And Brian losing hope and faith is just heartbreaking... the words he says is not him at all, but I think I would have the same "I don't care" attitude if I was in his position honestly... I can't imagine how much physical, mental and emotional pain a person endures when they're told that their days are limited. =[



Author's Response: I had a dream many months ago that I was pretty much thrust into my story and put in Brian's position. Honestly, there really are no words that can truly describe the feelings and emotions I experienced, but I've sorta fed off of that and incorporated them into Brian's actions. And there should always be a little humor mixed in with the drama. It makes it easier to deal with that way. Thanks for the review! [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 8

Sorry it took me a while to get these reviews out to you, my internet connection has been acting up a lot lately, so I decided to copy and paste your story on Microsoft word, and here I am, reading it, and typing a review on wordpad with every chapter I read, lol, so when I get internet access, I can post them all at one time =] Yay for Leighanne being able to make it out to Brian. I was LOL with the whole interation between Howie and AJ on the way to see Brian, and couldn't stop laughing with that line from AJ; "Shit man, who lit the fuse to your tampon?!" and again, AJ couldn't stop swearing, even if his life depended on it, lol. I also notice AJ's different sides coming into play within this story. Although he doesn't deal well with tragedy or an ailing loved one and acts out differently in hopes to diminish how he's feeling at the moment, I think he, along with Howie, are the only ones that were acting normal around Brian, not treating him differently or whatever, and I'm glad to know that there's a sense of normalcy that still exists, even though they know Brian's teetering on the edge of death. I'm proud of AJ and how he was able to stand firm with Brian when he let the "death" statement slip. And I really wish Brian would stop being stubborn and just go through with what he has to go through to help him get better. Hopefully Baylee will open his eyes. Great job, on to read chapter 9!! =]



Author's Response:

How could I possibly get mad at you for taking so long to get the reviews to me? LoL, you give awesome feedback, so it's definitely worth the wait. And it totally made my day today when I got online and had like 15 new reviews to respond to and they were all from you. *squee* My PR rocks! Wait, haven't I already said that before? Well, I just say it again...my PR rocks! :) Alot of people were wondering why it took so long for Leighanne to finally make an appearance, but in all honesty as much as I wanted her to finally get to Brian, I was having a bit of a hard time creating a pathway for her to come in on. It was a bit of a relief to actually get her into the picture so I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. Besides, Brian wouldn't stop whining about the fact that she wasn't there yet. He was pretty cranky I'd say. *whistles while looking around innocently*

Ya know, I've always perceived AJ to be the one who depends on a tough guy, don't give no two shits about anything sorta attitude when on the inside he is totally breaking apart. I know that is kinda the general opinion on him, but I always find it kinda refreshing when an author writes a less cliched side of him and that's what I was hoping to do. That tough guy side is his way of dealing with everything that goes on when he is around everyone, but he is still capable of expressing his true emotions and when the moment is right he lets it out.

Again, thanks for the review. As always, I totally appreciate it and always look forward to what you have to say! :) [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 9

Wow... what a twist!! Leighanne... pregnant again?! O.O And after what Kevin said about Kristin's weird cravings, there's no doubt in my mind that she's pregnant too!! Again, I was enjoying the humor that was being passed between the two cousins, but seriousness and reality had to rear it's little ugly head and ruin the moment, lol. And as soon as I read Brian mention that he had been promoted to solid foods when Kevin had asked him a serious question, Nick quickly popped into my head, and it happened before I went on to see that Kevin had told Brian that he had sounded like Nick at that moment, lol. Well, between Baylee, Kevin (hopefully) beating some sense into him (not physically of course, lol.) and Leighanne revealing to him for the first time that she's pregnant with their second child, I really hope Brian reconsiders and decides to go to that cardio rehabilitation center.



Author's Response: You should really talk to Brian about that because I have tried to get him to reconsider, but he absolutely refuses to cooperate. He's one hell of a stubborn character. But yeh, I figured it would be a bit of a nice little twist to add to the drama by having Leighanne reveal to Brian that she is pregnant again. It kinda raises the stakes of the whole situation. Thanks for the review! [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 10

I must commend you for how you wrote this story. Normally when a person writes a story that circulates around one person as the main character, they fail to elaborate with what's going on with the others or how they're feeling, but you do just that. Not every single chapter is solely about Brian and his friends or family simply make small cameos or whatever, and this chapter is a great example of what I mean. AJ "politely" entering Nick's house totally made the Kevin/AJ intervention play through my head, and it was kind of cool to see AJ in that "intervening" position, or the "Kevin" position, lol. And LMAO at AJ getting busted by Baylee for his vulgarity!!



Author's Response: I think I may have already said this but I really believe it is extremely vital to explore all of the characters feeling, emotions, and how they are affected by a certain situation. The main character is not the only who is being affected by what is happening. They cause the main point, but someways, the main sub characters (most import family and friends) support the back bone of the story and hold it together in some ways. Thanks again for the wonderful feedback!:) [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 11

Argh... reading this chapter really makes me mad with the media!! When they asked them if Brian was going to die, I was kind of expecting either Kevin or Nick to snap, but of course they held their professional stature as best as they could. If that was me, I would've flown out of my seat and decked the person that asked the question. O_O And poor Nicky, when he stammered out an answer to the rude question, it seemed as if he was saying that to assure himself, he sounded almost lost and confused like a little child at that moment. I can't believe Brian's in his room watching the press conference... well, actually I don't blame him, but still that places a heavier burden upon him. I don't really like the way Brian's acting towards Nick now... I mean, I'm glad that some sense was kicked back into Nick and he reluctantly agreed to see Brian again, but Brian's pushing him away with his negativity and stubborness. I really wish Brian would somehow find his faith again.



Author's Response: I imagine it would severly test a person's faith having to go through something like this. I was a bit disappointed in how the press conference turned. It was rather short compared to what I had originally planned, and it almost felt rush, but maybe I suppose it worked in some ways. It was really only a filler scene (as important as it was). Sometimes that just happens though; not every scene turns out the way you want it to. [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 12

Argh Brian... what will it take to make you change your mind and go to that cardiac center?! Lol. I really wish he'd stop being stubborn and trying to hide everything from everyone. I mean, I know he's scared and doesn't want to scare the people he loves in the process, but he's not helping himself by shelling himself up and continuing on his lying and stubborn ways.



Author's Response: Very much agreed. That's all I have to say about that and I'm the author. LoL. [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 13

Okay, I completely loved the humor you conveyed in the beginning of this chapter, it really helpes to ease the tension and stress that's been occurring thus far. I was giggling all the while in the beginning, and completely LOL when Kevin threatened Nick over doughnuts, lmao. I really was expecting the ending of this chapter though. At first I thought the guys didn't want Brian to record anymore because his ailment was affecting his vocals or whatever, but was glad when I realized that they were just concerned about his wellbeing. I kind of feel bad for Brian though, because they shouldn't isolate him from everything when he's just trying to live the rest of his life, or what's left of it, to the fullest, but he can't blame them for being concerned and just watching out for him. I wasn't really expecting the outburst between them as well, because I had a feeling that it would worsen Brian's condition, but I was hoping that Nick would touch up on the fact that Brian should admit himself into the cardiac center. I can't imagine how Brian must feel at that moment, feeling as if everyone is out to get you, feeling as if everyone is against you, feeling all alone and misunderstood. Gosh, I really hope things take a turn for the better.



Author's Response: It was really a scene that needed to happen. Not that I know how much good it did for the situation, but it still needed to happen. They're fighting against each other without even realizing it. Brian is fighting against the fellas are trying to do for him because he wants to live out whatever time he has left doing what he loves to do. The fellas are fighting against Brian doing this because they are afraid it will only affect his heart more and they want him to live out the time he has left and not speed up the process. They're pretty much acting the same way. [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 14

Wow... this chapter was really heartwrenching. I can't imagine a person living with the pain and suffering Brian is going through; it's seriously making me wince reading the pain and suffering Brian is enduring. It's not too late for him to go to the cardiac center... I hope he does something to change all of this, it's not too late.



Author's Response: Brian sees it in a completely different way, that all hope has already been lost. Not that I blame him for wanting to stay with his family for whatever little bit of time he has left. That would be really important to me if I was in that kinda situation. [Ashley]

Reviewer: rebellious_one Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 15

It's good to know that Leighanne and Brian were able to make love. And I can understand how Brian feels with the other fellas treating him like a charity case, but if only he would stop pushing them away from him...



Author's Response: A little lovin' can do the body good huh? LoL. [Ashley]