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I've never striven to be a writer, but my overactive imagination had other ideas. I figured this place was a good sanctuary to let it all out. |
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She had a dream. He had a secret. They had a deal. In exchange for her silence, he’d make her dream come true... but at what cost?
Categories: Fanfiction > Backstreet Boys
Characters: Nick
Genres: Drama
Warnings: None
Series: Curtain Call
Chapters: 90 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes
Word count: 264533
Read Count: 274178
This chapter was intense! It's so sad to see Nick trying to pump up enough energy to even just get up and take a shower.
If only he had listened to himself rather than being so damn stubborn about this thing. And all this pressure he's putting on Cary, it seems like a slot as their opening act is not even enough to compensate anymore.
Maybe he's not ready for the other guys to know, but I hope this trip to the hospital opens his damn eyes that he and Cary can't keep this secret alone, tt's time to tell a larger half-truth.
Author's Response: I know! I'm not sure the opening act slot is enough to compensate either, especially since she had noooo idea what she was really signing herself up for. She can't exactly back out now, though. But this will be an eye-opener for him, for sure. Thanks, Lily!
Ah, two chapters, I feel so far behind! That cliffie from the last chapter, I feel like I've been on the edge of my seat! I really, really hope this is the swift kick in the ass Nick needs. And for some reason, when Nick asks Cary if she's mad at him for the Red Bull...was so freaking endearing, I CAN'T even be mad at him, and I've been calling him a dumbass in my head this entire story haha
Author's Response: LOL no worries! If this isn't the swift kick in the ass he needs, I'm not sure what will be. Dumbass Nick indeed LOL. But he is an endearing dumbass LOL... I'm glad you liked that part. ;) Thanks Lily!
Juxtaposing everything Cary was in that one simple line made me realize yet again how hard this must be for her. Though Cary is just as a main character in this story as Nick is, I feel like (as a reader, or at least in my case) you put most of your awareness on Nick, because he's the one that's being irrational, and Cary is just along for the ride. But I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Cary is a character for the ages. Her pull is so strong, and I really commend you for writing a character so defined; they're hard to come by.
As for Nick, I'm hoping he'll really open his eyes and see that things could've been a lot worse, and it's time to stop being unrealistic about his sickness, and the tour and whatever else he's hiding. But at the same time, I'm scared for him, because he's stubborn, so the deal he made with Cary just might backfire.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you SO much!!! Seriously, you don't know how much your compliments about Cary's character mean to me. Maybe it's because a lot of my fanfic friends are anti-romance people, but I am always really conscious of my female leads when I write them, and my goal is always to make them likeable and actually relatable, rather than perfect Mary Sue or annoying Anti-Sue. I have an older pair of stories, "Broken" and "By My Side," that are similar to this one, and the main girl in that, Claire, was like the best female character I've ever created; she was the kind of character I could see clearly in my head and know exactly what she would do or say in any situation. I felt like I had a challenge with Cary in this one to create just as vivid of a character, but not a replica of Claire. I was a little worried Cary was going to seem boring because I was trying to make her not like Claire, so it really means the world to me that you feel so drawn in by her. I like writing her a lot. I've always known that although this is a story about Nick, it's really her story; she's the one telling it. I'm glad I decided to switch on and off to his POV too because I think that's interesting, to see how his thoughts too, but I find Cary's easier to write in most of the time. I think she's just easier to relate to. Sorry to keep rambling on in my response LOL. Thanks again; your reviews always prompt me to think, and I love that!! =D
It's good to see Nick's mind slowly evolve to what it is now. When this story first started, it was stubborn and cocky, then the cockiness faded away because he had Cary around to keep him sort of grounded about it, but the stubbornness was still there. And now you're slowly starting to see the stubbornness fade away and in its wake, defeat and fear are setting in. It's like he's being stripped of his armor and all you're left with is a scared little boy who doesn't know what to do anymore. The last line especially proves it.
Great chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you, Lily! You always put things into words so much better than I can even in my mind LOL. I never thought about it quite like that, but you're right. This has just been wearing him down and wearing him down, until you can sense he's about to cave, not because he wants to, but because he knows he can't hold out much longer. I love that you can see that evolution in his character over the course of the story. Thanks again!! :)
I'm not sure what it is, but I either saw tremendous growth in Nick in this chapter or just tremendous defeat. I guess you could classify it as a little of both but I'm not sure. I'm so glad Nick has decided to tell them but I'm not sure if he's decided to tell them because he doesn't want to hide it anymore, or he just thinks it's time for them to know. Or...maybe he's doing it for Cary. You've given me a lot to ponder over :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!! :) I think it was a bit of everything you said, really. I think he was feeling SO bad before the soundcheck that it was tremendous defeat then; he was about ready to just give up and throw in the towel because it wasn't even worth the effort to try and go out there and perform. I think if Cary had pushed him the other direction, he would have told them then. He felt so much better after the blood transfusion that he probably could have kept going and hid it the rest of the tour (they're on the final stretch as it is), but I think he realized that it was time to come clean... once it started really affecting his work, to the point where he had to bail on one of his commitments and make Cary completely lie for him, he just felt like he couldn't keep going like that. So I think there was growth and maturity there... and I think for once, he actually listened to Cary, too. So... all of the above. :)
Another great chapter :) Each character had their own different reactions, but all completely realistic - very well played out :) I know you have a lot on your plate right now but I think it'd be cool to have three little vignettes each in Howie, Brian's and AJ's point of view for this chapter.
But even I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder after reading this chapter :) I carry this story with me in a lot of ways, simply because the subject matter. I haven't had anyone go to the lengths that Nick has to hide it, but it seems my family and friends have been plagued with the disease - losing a long time friend back in April. I guess that's why I'm so passionate about Nick not being dumb about it haha. I want him to have a happy ending where my friend Billy didn't.
Author's Response: Thanks again! :) I wasn't really sure where I was going with the reactions, so I just wrote what seemed natural in the course of the scene. I think the fact that AJ, Howie, and Brian are all so different helped me get a whole range of reactions in there - anger, sadness, hurt/betrayal, and finally support and acceptance. Hm, the vignettes from the other POVs would be interesting to write... probably not something I'll tackle anytime soon, to be honest, but I did something like that for Broken, which I never finished, but it was kinda fun for awhile.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend Billy. :( I can understand why you feel that way... when I think of someone in my family or a close friend actually hiding something like that for so long, I think, what a douchey thing to do!!! But at the same time, when I put myself in Nick's shoes in the story, I can understand why he did it. I wouldn't want to be treated any differently or to get a lot of unwanted attention, either; I would want things to stay as much the same as possible. I have no idea what that's really like, though, so who knows...
There's nothing I didn't love about this chapter :) Cary is an amazing character, and even though she's their opening act, she knows that's not what she's truly there for, and it seems like she's okay with that. And seeing moments like the last of the chapter, makes me realize that she's a little selfless too :)
Author's Response: Aww, thank you yet again! :) Cary is a sweetheart, and I think even though she's given Nick crap about his bad choices, she has a lot of respect/admiration for him and wants to be there for him and support/protect him as much as she can. It'll be a huge weight off her shoulders now that the secret is out!
So this story has made me want to register to the site so I could leave a review here.
As this story has progressed, I find I've been taking it everywhere with me. I think about it when I don't want to, and I keep checking the 'Most Recent' section so I can see what happens next.
Your writing is real and relatable, and this story is definitely relatable. I've dealt with someone like Nick, someone looking for their next fix and TRYING to change, but it seems hopeless. I hope for Kayla that Nick can get fixed.
Can't wait to read more :)
I'm fully immersed in this story and waiting on pins and needles to figure out what happens. AJ better not fuck things up with Nick and Kayla, Leon better get what's coming to him and Desi better make things right.
You're SO good at making real characters, I love your work :) Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thank you! I try to keep character sketches so I don't overstep the bounds of a character's personality. I have this great book Writer's Digest put out called "The Writer's Guide to Character Traits" -- It's an EXCELLENT resource for writing character sketches and I highly recommend the book. It backs up with facts, personality, everything about almost every character type or trait you can think of - from criminal mind to various psychological disorders to age processes, etc. Great book! :)
I'm so anxious to see how Kayla redeems herself! Update soon!
Nick and Zoe's relationship has been amazing to watch unfold. You're great at making your characters so real, it's so hard not to get attached to them. I feel like I'm in their inner circle too.
Author's Response: They've come a long way from rescuing frogs on the swampy road! haha
This chapter is one of my favorites for the simple fact that at the beginning of this story, I doubt Nick would've given Eric the time of day, but now he's going to help him.
I'm curious to see how the AJ and Kayla twist pans out too - they both obviously can't ignore it and it's going to have to be brought up to Nick sooner or later. Maybe Nick has changed enough to not let it affect him like it would've have when he had been using.
Author's Response: I'm interested that you picked up on what I was thinking about Eric. Nick definitely never would've given him the time of day in the beginning of the story. Eric's character and the fact that Nick is interested in helping him signify a huge change Nick's gone through since the beginning of the story, I think. Nick's being helped (mainly by Zoe, might I add) and now that he's got help, he's able to turn and channel that help to others. A lot of Zoe shows in Nick as he talks to Eric. I mean he says things the way Zoe might say them, if you read into it closely (or hear the tones the way I do in my head lol).
As for AJ & Kayla, only time will tell.
I'm one of those horrible readers that reads but doesn't review. But I feel I have to after this chapter. This hits so close to home for me. I know what Shelby is going through. Kudos to making your characters real and super relate-able (in all your stories. See I told I was horrible). :)
Author's Response: Ah I'm glad you came out of hiding though. :) This is a tough subject but one that there's no denying happens. Even to the 'good' kids. I knew going into this that if I was going to go through with this plotline that the raw emotions of it happening to a teenager were not going to be easy to write. I'm glad I'm on the right track. :)
I love the way the story is progressing so far :) Shelby's emotions are real and it's great to see how it's unfolding :)
Author's Response: Thanks! She's very conflicted, of course who wouldn't be? I couldn't imagine moving away from my entire family at sixteen AND becoming a mom AND possibly moving into a house with my boyfriend
What if this is like Inception and it's a dream within a dream, the subconscious not holding anything back...? Anyways, ha, great development so far :)
Author's Response: Hmm interesting theory. I'm still stuck on sex and cupcakes myself, but haha
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