Fic Talk > Beta Central
Help Me
julilly:
There is still a need for paragraphs even when you're doing your monologue in first person.
When you start a new thought, start a new paragraph.
mare:
^ lol what she said. You still need to break up your thoughts. It makes it much easier for people to read.
yorkielover88:
so it should look like:
The song played over and over in my head. It was permanently etched in my brain. I remembered all of it. The words. The melody. The tempo. I could hear her voice singing it so clearly. Hell, I even remembered the sound of the guitar as she strummed softly.
The words stood out over everything else. Each time they played in my head my heart would begin to hurt more and more. It had finally gotten to a point where I could feel physical pain deep inside of my chest.
I guess what hurt the most was how true the words were. It made me feel disgusted with myself.
I knew all of this was my fault. A small part of me however blamed my mother. If she would have just left me alone and let me do what I wanted not of this would be an issue. However, had I just told the truth from the start none of this would be an issue either.
Ultimately I had to admit that this was all my fault even though it embarrassed me to do so. Admitting it was the first step though.
The second step was fixing my mistake. One thing was holding me back from doing that though. You see, I just didn't know how to fix it. Really I wasn't even sure if I could.
yorkielover88:
oh and I am trying to correct the posted chapters... I am not sure how to space something... can y'all help me? (pun intended)
like this:
"Shit!" AJ yelled half way through the film making Kevin and Howie jump.
"What the fuck dog?" Kevin asked.
AJ stuck part of his finger in his mouth. "Sorry." He muttered.
or this:
"Shit!" AJ yelled half way through the film making Kevin and Howie jump.
"What the fuck dog?" Kevin asked. AJ stuck part of his finger in his mouth.
"Sorry." He muttered.
evergreenwriter83:
--- Quote from: yorkielover88 on August 31, 2010, 12:46:50 PM ---oh and I am trying to correct the posted chapters... I am not sure how to space something... can y'all help me? (pun intended)
like this:
"Shit!" AJ yelled half way through the film making Kevin and Howie jump.
"What the fuck dog?" Kevin asked.
AJ stuck part of his finger in his mouth. "Sorry." He muttered.
or this:
"Shit!" AJ yelled half way through the film making Kevin and Howie jump.
"What the fuck dog?" Kevin asked. AJ stuck part of his finger in his mouth.
"Sorry." He muttered.
--- End quote ---
I would start the third line with "Sorry". But I have one correction where that's concerned. It should be:
"Sorry," he muttered.
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