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[mare]

I'm happy to see I can pick up the pace now since you are rocking your deadlines. lol I just didn't want to come to the end of what you had written because then I would have really started to bug you!

[honey]

kelly cover your eyes!

My thoughts on chapter 4 part two: Wow!

It was horrible knowing that he was going to die but even still, there was a small grain of hope that maybe he would escape. Great and morbid description of how being suffocated must feel. Poor Nick and of course once again it's the chicks fault! And knowing that now i'm annoyed she didn't come forward and tell anyone. lol


okay you can look now lol

I totally skipped over this post until after I read the chapter, thnaks Mare. And ditto on the description of suffocation. Very disturbing. But good for it to be there. You're right. This chapter was a lot more dark and intense but I think it was good for the story. We have to keep in mind the seriousness of the situation or the story will lose it's impact. If its all spits and giggles the entire time then we wouldn't really care if Nick ever finds out who killed him or not. I think youy've found a very good balance here because while it's not all cute and joking around, its not really depressing either. It's intense and I liked that.

And LMAO Mare, I think you're starting to rub off on me because as I was reading this chapter I was starting to think of ways to make Toni suffer. So not cool of her to just be let off the hook after like two days and the other guys have no idea of what really happened. If I was Nick I'd soooooooo haunt her ass!

Once again julilly, I'm lovin it!  And this is kind of fun, reading along with you Mare. Anybody else want to jump in on the conversation?

Also, a question for you julilly, what was the inspiration behind the plot for this story. I mean I know I don't have much details yet but it's like this whole crime investigation and bad guys and lists and stuff, like a spy movie or a CSI episode... How'd you come up with the idea?

[julilly]

Well you have to keep in mind that I have a sick and twisted imagination lol I've done a couple crime related fics, Stokholm Syndrome about a kidnapping and Monopoly about a bank robbery (which is currently not up on AC for revisions) so I have those kinds of thoughts. I knew I wanted to do something mob related, and remembered an episode from like 1995 of one of my favourite shows - Due South. (Dunno if you've seen/heard of it) One of the episodes has a mobster chasing a girl because she acquired a matchbook from a random lady that had a hit list written inside. So I started with that concept, modified it to my own liking, then thought how else I could make it interesting and the whole Nick-being-dead plotline was born. I've read a few "XX bsb is a ghost" stories and a lot of them were pretty darn corny (a la casper) so I thought I would definitely make fun of that a little bit, and make it more serious.

[julilly]

Once again julilly, I'm lovin it!  And this is kind of fun, reading along with you Mare. Anybody else want to jump in on the conversation?

Rose is reading it aswell, but she is waaay ahead of you guys lol

[Rose]

Rose is reading it aswell, but she is waaay ahead of you guys lol

LOL which is why you're getting reviews, so I don't totally spoil it for them by saying it all in here.

You should beat your deadline again 

[julilly]

You should beat your deadline again 

Oh I'm trying lol This deadline is a lot shorter than the last!

[mare]

Turns out i'm going to meet mine I just finished my chapter! Whee!! lol

[mare]

Spoiler alert!!

Just finished chapter 5 and it was a great one. I don't blame Nick for being angry at Brian. I loved the line about the wife and kid. And of course I had to lol about Nick and Brian having a spat while AJ is there. Too funny. I can't wait to see what's in the matchbook.

And I agree Kelly, it's fun to read and discuss a story and even though you're a little a head of us Rose you can still join in since you a;ready read what we are talking about.

It seems though when I read and review i'm not as strong on my generic Oprah questions lol so i'll have to come up with a few more of those as well.

[mare]

Spoiler alert!!

My thoughts on chapter 6 then I shall post separately with some Oprah questions for you Julillymallill y

First of all I agree with Nick, what an incredible McJerk Brian was in the first half of the chapter. Good lord, what an ass lol But I loved the conversation they had about the list. I always love it when the BSB in stories like this one, take on the role of detective.

Okay Brian redeemed himself by tell Nick he loves him. Good boy Brian. and aww I want Nick to describe what his heaven is like. I'm hoping we'll get to see it at some point.

lmao I loved the ending of this chapter and all the talk of rattling chains.

[mare]

some Oprah questions for you lol

1. Have you stuck to the original plot of this story or have you changed things as you have gone along?

2. Have any or your reviews influenced your decisions while writing this one?

3. Are you considering a sequel?

[julilly]

Spoiler alert!!

My thoughts on chapter 6 then I shall post separately with some Oprah questions for you Julillymallill y

First of all I agree with Nick, what an incredible McJerk Brian was in the first half of the chapter. Good lord, what an ass lol But I loved the conversation they had about the list. I always love it when the BSB in stories like this one, take on the role of detective.

Okay Brian redeemed himself by tell Nick he loves him. Good boy Brian. and aww I want Nick to describe what his heaven is like. I'm hoping we'll get to see it at some point.

lmao I loved the ending of this chapter and all the talk of rattling chains.

Coming to you live from my death bed (the black death that is!), tis me! Ok, back to biznaz.

I really wanted Brian to be comfortable enough with Nick to be smug. And really, McDonalds jokes are always ever present in my life, so I took the opportunity to add Mc to almost McEverything.

[julilly]

some Oprah questions for you lol

1. Have you stuck to the original plot of this story or have you changed things as you have gone along?

2. Have any or your reviews influenced your decisions while writing this one?

3. Are you considering a sequel?

1. I have changed the plot slightly. I had a couple chapters that I cut out completely and replaced them with something else, thus bringing things in a bit of a different direction. It was nothing really drastic though. Otherwise, unless it's pre-planned I don't change things as I write. I find that's how I end up with plot holes, when I just make things up as I go along.

2. I know people will hate me for saying this but I don't really let reviews influence me at all. I think of it this way, if one person left a review saying "Oh I hate that, don't do this..." and I went and changed it, I would then not only be moving maybe in a direction that I don't want to be, but also I could ruin it for the 5 other people who didn't agree with the original review. I will keep things in mind, as I'm going along, like maybe someone pointed out that I had an inconsistency or something, but I don't really let them change the story.

3. A sequel? Hmm. Probably not. To be honest I sat here for a couple seconds and thought about it and I don't really know what I would make it about. It's not really a 'to be continued...'

[honey]

MORE SPOILERS!






I liked chapter five a lot. We got to get a feel for how the rest of the story might feel as they take on the role of detectives. And I LOVED how Nick and Brian were having this conversation with AJ right there. That was a really cool moment.

I also liked their fight. I thought it was completely realistic. I can see both men's point of view. Yeah in a way it's selfish of Brian not to want to help Nick after he took the time to show up and got back all his bad memories just to help the man. But at the same time, Brian can't just think about himself. He has a wife and kid to take care of so he can't just go around putting himslef or them in danger. I think you wrote that nicely because they were angry at each other, but it wasn't this over the top dramatic fight. (I myself am often guilty of that.  )

then LMAO at chapter 6 I think I'm going to be saying McJerk for like the next week. Brian was such a punk. And yay when Nick knocked his food on the floor I just kept picturing Dean from Supernatural saying "I full on Swayzed that mother." And then of course started singing Unchained Melodies.   <--- thanks for that by the way.

I get excited when they talk about the list too because it's good to see that this story has a real plot to go along with the drama of Brian and Nick stuff. Not that I didn't expect it too, but that happens sometimes so it's always good to see that something will be driving a story. 

Well done, bravo. It's kind of sad to think that one more chapter and I'll be half way to caught up. Though, there have been two updates since the begining of the month, so I must congratulate you on that.   

[honey]

Ok, so chapter 7!!!



Valerie.  I liked her, and I'm totally intrigued by her. Loved the face to forehead comment, but I'm as disturbed as Nick as to why she could see and hear him. I loved how he tried to warn her and when the guy showed up and couldn't see him Nick just shrugged. For some reason I could totally picture that whole scene as I read it. Oh, and her asking if Nick was a good ginger, I got a kick out of that as well.

Seriously, I don't know if I've said this or not yet, but I love the twist you've put on this story. The boys playing detective is always fun, but having Nick solve his own murder was quite original. Nick as a ghost is just amusing as heck to me. I bet (if he weren't upset about being dead and all) that Nick would really have some fun with the whole haunting people and such.

[julilly]

Ok, so chapter 7!!!



Valerie.  I liked her, and I'm totally intrigued by her. Loved the face to forehead comment, but I'm as disturbed as Nick as to why she could see and hear him. I loved how he tried to warn her and when the guy showed up and couldn't see him Nick just shrugged. For some reason I could totally picture that whole scene as I read it. Oh, and her asking if Nick was a good ginger, I got a kick out of that as well.

Seriously, I don't know if I've said this or not yet, but I love the twist you've put on this story. The boys playing detective is always fun, but having Nick solve his own murder was quite original. Nick as a ghost is just amusing as heck to me. I bet (if he weren't upset about being dead and all) that Nick would really have some fun with the whole haunting people and such.

Valerie will really throw you for a loop as you read on. She's important that's for sure!

I think that Nick would probably have a lot of fun haunting people too lol I think he would probably have too much fun! I know I would!