Unbreakable by Inconsolable
Story Notes:
New story-- had this idea in my head for a while. Hope you all enjoy!
Chapter 1 by Inconsolable
March 15, 2006

“Law do you think this is a good idea?” I asked, as we got to hers and her boyfriends house they shared.

“Of course I do Lay. He’s more than happy to have you here.” She said with a bright smile. I nodded and bit my lip.

“Okay, if you say so.” I said, getting out of her car and following her to the front door. She looked one more and smiled before pushing the door open.

“Nick we’re here!” She exclaimed, as the sound of pots and pans clinging together. She looked at me and nodded for me to follow, as demanded, I did. “Babe just stop, we’ll handle this.” She laughed as Nick looked at me and gaped.

“You’re the girl from the pictures.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “What pictures?”

“The dreams Bone has. You’re her.” He said, tilting his head to the right, “The pictures doesn’t do you justice though, You are fucking gorgeous.”

“Down boy, that’s my cousin you’re talking about.” Lauren said, making Nick laugh.

“Sorry, I’m Nick, Lauren’s wonderful boyfriend.” He said with a bright smile, extending his hand. I looked at his hand, furrowing my eyebrows. He gave me a sad look, I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him.

“I don’t shake hands, I’m more of a hugger. It’s nice to meet the man that makes my big cousin happy. I’m Madalay.” I said with a smile. He grinned, as I pulled away and took Lauren in his arms.

“Is your last name Ramirez by chance?” He asked, making me want answers to all the questions. I looked at Lauren, who was confused.

“Yeah… why? How do you know me?” I asked, looking up at him.

“I’ve heard of you, you’re really big on the East Coast.” He said, saving his own ass. I shook the thought of maybe it was something else.

“Oh wow, I made it to the West Coast. That’s pretty impressive.” I said with a smile, “Can I help cook? I promise no junk and grease, all healthy.”

“You don’t have to cook, Lay.” Lauren said as the doorbell rang, “I’ll get it while you two talk.” She smiled, leaning up and kissing Nick before she walked out the kitchen. I noticed Nick was staring at me.

“Is there something on my face?” I asked in a panic. He shook his daze and smiled.

“No so, tell me about yourself.” He said, leaning against the bar. “Would you like anything to drink?”

“No thank you, I appreciate the offer.” I said, “I’m 26 and from West Palm Beach Florida; I’m Cuban, Indian, German and Latin. I’m a well-known dancer, as well as a tattoo artist and producer. Three of four of my dance classes won America’s Best Dance Crew. I have two dance studios in Florida, I have three tattoo shops, one of which is in Statesboro, Georgia, while the others are in Jacksonville and one back home. I’m talking to Chris Nunez about going in with him at the one in Miami. Ami and I talked a while back when he sold it to Chris. He asked if I wanted to take it on, but I declined. I love music, I love making new beats—I love the drums, guitar and piano the most.”

“Wow, and you’re only 26?” He asked astonished. I nodded, “Who all have you produced?”

“Pink, Train, Kid Rock, Neyo, Guns N’ Roses, Avenged Sevenfold, Black Crowes, My Chemical Romance, T.I., Goo Goo Dolls, Snow Patrol, Brian Littrell, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nelly, Lacuna Coil, Good Charlotte, those are just to name a few to give you a jist.

“Brian Littrell?” He wondered, biting his lip.

“Yeah, such an amazing artist, beautiful voice, beautiful family, such a sweetheart.” I said with a bright smile. “I felt like I made a lifelong friend with him and his wife. Great people.”

“You sing and play?” He asked, I nodded. “Come.” He said, pulling me behind him into a den where a baby grand stood. “Play.”

“Do you mind?” I asked to make sure, he pushed me playfully to it. I popped my fingers and sat, taking a deep breath before I let my fingers dance over the ivory laced keys.

Here we are, Seven days and seven nights of empty tries. It's rituals, habitual. But it's never gonna work this time. We're to the point of no return, and along the way, The only thing we've learned, Is how to hurt each other.

I sang, getting into the beat. I knew how I wanted the song to go, but I couldn’t quite finish the beats.

I'm looking back and wondering why, It took so long to realize, That nothing's changed, it never will, All these years of standing still, And still we stay, in all this pain, And nothing's going to make it go away, yeah.

I sang nodding my head to the beat, I took a deep breath before the chorus.

I don't want to wait another minute, Put me out of my misery. I can read your mind, baby, You're not in it and we're not what we used to be. No, you wouldn't have to lie to me, If you would only let me go. And I don't want to wait another minute to hear, It's something that I already know. I know, I know, I know, It's something that I already know, I know, I know, I know.

I sang, playing for a short second before I went back into a new verse.

So save your voice, don't waste your breath, Can't you see we're at the end, And this goodbye, if it's permanent, So wish me well, try to forget. And all the fights and all the ways, We almost made it but we never did, And it's finally come to this.

My body swayed to the music as I went into the chorus:

I don't want to wait another minute, Put me out of my misery, I can read your mind, baby, You're not in it and we're not what we used to be, No, you wouldn't have to lie to me, If you would only let me go, And I don't want to wait another minute to hear, Something that I already know.

We cannot hide what we've become, So sick inside, convenient, oh, It's done, it's done, it's done

I don't want to wait another minute, Put me out of my misery, I can read your mind, baby, You're not in it and we're not what we used to be, No, you wouldn't have to lie to me,

If you would only let me go, I don't want to wait another minute to hear.Something that I already know. I know, I know, I know, Something that I already know, Yes, I know, I know, I know.


I sang my heart out on the chorus and the bridge, I started slowing down:

Something that I already know, I know, I know, I know, I know, yes, I know.

I turned and looked at Nick, noticing that Lauren was right beside him. I stood up and straightened my shirt out, walking over to them. Nick started clapping and smiling.

“That was beautiful, Lay.” He said in awe. I nodded and thanked him.

“Thank you. That was a lot of years built up. One of the guys I was helping produce needed a song to present to his buddies that he’s in a band together with—he wanted feelings, and I don’t think you can get anymore feelings than that.” I said, as Lauren wrapped her arm around my shoulders and kissed my head.

“Well, AJ is here already, just pulled up actually as well as Howie and Leigh.” Lauren said, as the three of us walked back into the kitchen. “I’m gonna go open the door for them.” She said leaving us once again alone.

“You are very talented, gorgeous on the outside, gorgeous voice, everything is amazing.” He said, looking down at me. “Tell me more?”

“Thank you. I haven’t had the best growing up. I had a best friend when I was younger, he left me—he told me he wouldn’t ever do that, but he did. The last time I talked to him was when my dad left me alone in the house by myself. I called him and he said I needed to grow up, and that I needed to stop depending on him so much. Pretty much there was no room in his life for me anymore. My dad never came back.” I spilled to him, I thought since he got to me talk as easily as I did, I could confide in him.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry for asking. Please don’t think bad of me, Lay.” He pled, I shook my head and smiled.

“It’s fine Nick, you didn’t know. It’s not a big deal.” I said, hearing Lauren calling for us to come into the foyer where she was.

“You’re my new best friend, you know that right?” He asked, making me shake my head as we walked to Lauren. I stopped in my tracks and saw the one guy to ever have my heart and then crush it.

“Al.” I whispered, watching him gape.

“Al? No, Lay, this is AJ.” Lauren said with a light laugh. Obviously she didn’t know about previous engagements.

“Mada, it’s really you.” AJ said walking towards me. I felt the hot tears well in my eyes, as he got closer, my fists would clench and unclench themselves repeatedly. Before I knew it, my hand flew up and across his face, forcing his face to turn to the right.

“I hate you.” I seethed, turning and looking at Nick for help; he stood there not really knowing what to do. I stormed through the foyer, finding a hall that lead to the backyard. I quickly walked outside, seeing a cabana under a palm tree. I walked in it and sat on the bed that Nick had in there. Tears rolled down my cheeks heavily, I wiped them away as they fell.

All the feelings for Alex came back from childhood. How could I be so dumb? How couldn’t I remember Brian Littrell and Nick? They were both in the same band as AJ, why didn’t that register? I felt someone walk up to the cabana, lightly tapping on the material. I dried my face quickly, muttering a ‘come in’.

Nick.

“Are you okay sweetie?” He asked, taking a seat to my left. I shook my head and dropped my head in my hands. “The guy you told me about…” He paused, “That guy is AJ, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.” I started, “Yeah, it’s him. I didn’t even put two and two together Nick. I didn’t even think about Brian or you being in Backstreet Boys. I’m so stupid.”

“Hey, don’t do that. You’re not stupid. You’re around recording artists all the time, you treat them like normal people, which we are.” He coincided, making me nod. “I’m the most normal of all.” He chuckled, making me laugh lightly.

“I’m sorry if I made you or Lauren mad. I didn’t mean to slap him, I didn’t even know that happened.” I apologized, “I,” I paused for a moment, “I don’t know if I could ever forgive him. The right thing would be to do just that, but right now, it doesn’t feel right to even attempt to think about that.”

“Slow down, no one is mad, okay?” He asked, I nodded, “As for forgiving him, you don’t have to just yet. I understand how you’re feeling completely, and you can always come to me and talk. He’s not mad either, he said he deserved it, and that it went better than what he thought at the moment. You have all right to lash out like you did, he said the same thing.”

“I just, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I made it ten years without him, and then seeing him brought all those love and hate feelings back. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.” I said, laying back on the bed.

“My mom would’ve been so upset with my actions just then. It’s bad that when my dad left, no one was there for me but his mom, Denise. I heard him on the phone with her one night and he said he was happy to be away from me, said I was clingy and he wanted me gone by the time he got back.”

“What?” He asked, I nodded.

“Yeah, Denise told him that it was her house not his, and he didn’t have to say the things he said to me either. She was very upset with him.” I said, sighing loudly.

“What did you do then?” He asked, looking down at me.

“The day I turned 18, I was gone. I talked to her, made her promise to read the note I wrote to her after I was gone.” I stated, “I didn’t want to cause problems between him and her. I felt like I did that enough already.”

“Well, your past was a series of unfortunate events, and I’m happy that you’re here.” He said, as I sat up to hug him.

“I appreciate it. I’ll keep civil while I’m here, I promise, I don’t want to corrupt any plans.” I said, as I laid my head on his shoulder.

“You wont, I promise. We’re going to have fun, even though yal’s past isn’t the best, okay? Put that beautiful smile back on that gorgeous face, and lets grab this by the balls.” He said, standing up with me in his arms. I giggled and nodded.

“Thank you Nick.”

“It’s not a problem, Lay. Thank you for talking to me.” He said with a smile. I nodded as my feet touched the ground. We walked out of the cabana and headed back to his house. Once we got in, I heard more voices than just AJ and Lauren’s. Three of which that sounded very familiar.

“Oh, Lay this is—“ Lauren started, but Baylee beat her to it.

“Lay!” He exclaimed, running as fast as his little legs could carry him. I bent down, sitting on my legs as he wrapped his arms around my neck, and his legs around my hips.

“Bay!” I exclaimed, standing up and twirling around, making him laugh. “I’ve missed you little man!”

“I’ve missed you Lay!” He said, kissing my cheek. My heart warmed, pushing all the feelings I had for AJ at the moment to the side.

“I’m so happy to see you.” Leighanne said, wrapping her arms around Baylee and I. I kissed her cheek as she kissed my head. “God, it’s been long.”

“You missed me that much Leigh? It’s only been three weeks.” I said, as she stuck her tongue out.

“I know, but I missed our girl time.” She said, as Baylee wiggled out my arms and ran into the living room.

“Where’s my hug?” Brian asked, pouting playfully. I rolled my eyes as Leighanne pushed me to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up twirling us around. “Good to see this gorgeous face again. I have to say I’m with Baylee and Leigh, I’ve missed you as well.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Bri.” I said, kissing his cheek. My feet touched the floor, the doorbell sounded again; Lauren and AJ excused their selves.

“Okay, something happened, you’re not all bright eyed and bushy tailed like normal.” Leighanne pointed out.

“You remember the song I wrote? The one about seven days and seven nights?” I asked, looking at her. She nodded, “Well, the story I told you as well… that’s AJ.”

“Oh no! How could he?” She wondered, wrapping her arms around me.

“She slapped the shit out of him.” Nick added, making Brian look at me, gaping. I shrugged and bit my lip.

“I didn’t mean to, I promise.” I said, as Lauren and AJ walked back in with Howie, Leigh, Kevin and a pregnant Kristin.

“Do you know them, too?” Lauren asked with a laugh. I nodded and walked to each one, hugging them tightly. “You know everyone then, jeez just take the fun out of everything.”

“I didn’t know Nick.” I said, laughing lightly.

“True, so, pool time?” She wondered, everyone looked between the others and nodded. “Okay, ladies, lets go.” Kristin, Leighanne, Leigh, Lauren and I walked upstairs and changed into our suits. I looked in the mirror, not really liking what I saw. I grabbed my iPhone and walked downstairs, seeing I was the only one in the house. I heard the piano being played and a beautiful, deep, voice singing out. I walked to the door and saw AJ sitting at the piano, he was playing and looking up towards the ceiling.

Who are you now? Are you still the same? Or did you change somehow? What do you do, at this very moment when I think of you? And when I'm looking back, how we were young and stupid. Do you remember that?

As he sang, the feelings came back. I missed him, but yet, I hated him with a passion. How dare he treat me the way he did, after everything I did for him. I supported him in more ways that physically.

No matter how I fight it, Can't deny it, just can't let you go. I still need you, I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done, I still feel you. Like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you.

Those lyrics tore into my heart with a vengeance. I bit my lip, as he played a beautiful melody across the ivory keys.

Now look at me. Instead of moving on, I refuse to see. That I keep coming back. Yeah, I'm stuck in a moment, that wasn't meant to last, to last. I try to fight it, can't deny it. You don't even know. That I still need you, I still care about you. Though everything's been said and done. I still feel you, like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you, whoah oh.

I felt someone come up behind me. They placed a hand on my left shoulder, I brought my right hand up and placed it over theirs. Brian. With my free hand, I wiped away the tears that had fell.

I wish I could find you, just like you found me. Then I, will never let you go, oh. Though everything's been said and done, yeah. I still feel you, like I'm right beside you, but still no word from you.

I watched as the grown man I once loved take a deep breath and let out a sob; my heart broke. Hearing him crying made me think back to when his dad walked out on him and Denise. The night it happened, I never thought Alex would smile again. I never thought I would see him with a dry face.

I started to go in, but Brian stopped me. He wrapped his arms around me, letting me cry in his shoulder. He swayed us back and forth, being in his arms made me feel safer than ever. His aurora was strong, protective and loving. Brian was my best friend, regardless.

“Come on, let’s go out back.” He whispered, I nodded, hearing Alex cry out more. Brian and I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the cooler. He and I walked outside and saw that the girls was out already.

I looked at Leighanne, who immediately stood up and quickly ran to me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “I heard, I remember when he wrote that song. He told me it was for a woman who always had his heart, he was going to find her and make things right.”

“I don’t know what to say Leigh.” I whispered, wiping my eyes. I grabbed my black Ray Ban aviators and put them on. She pulled me to the pool and grabbed my shirt, pulling it off of me. I shook my head and laughed, undoing my shorts and sliding them off. I folded them and my shirt, and sat them in an empty patio chair.

“Who can start a grill?” Nick asked, looking around. I furrowed my eyebrows and gaped.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked, walking up to him as he grabbed the charcoal. I shook my head and opened the grill top, and pulling up the grated racks, so I could add the charcoal. After adding it, I put the racks back in and brushed them off with the metal brush. Once I was finished, I grabbed my lighter, lighter fluid and a piece of paper towel. I lit the paper towel and dropped it onto the coals. I, then, grabbed the lighter fluid and poured it in various spaces, watching the fire come to life. I put the lid of the grill back down and turned to him. “That’s how you do it. Don’t mess with it, the coals have to burn for a while.”

“Fucking Wonder Woman I’m dealing with.” He crossed his arms across his chest and rolled his eyes, making me laugh. “Please teach me more.”

I walked towards him as he walked backwards into the pool. Everyone broke out into a fit of laughter, including Baylee. I doubled over, the tears coming back down my eyes. The look on his face when he was falling back was priceless.

“Oh my god.” I said loudly as I laughed. He started pouted, which made me laugh harder, “Law, do something with your man.” I said, waving my hand towards him. She giggled and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him. He smiled and pressed a kiss against her lips, which warmed my heart.

“Lay get in!” Baylee pled, making me smile. I walked to the shallow end stairs and stepped into the pool, sitting on the bottom step. He moved on my lap and laid his head on my shoulder. I kissed his forehead and wrapped my arms around him. “My Lay.”

"My Bay," I whispered, closing my eyes before I started humming the melody of Tony Rich Project's Nobody Knows. I heard the door close behind us, I looked over my shoulder and saw Alex walking out with a white wife beater and a pair of black swimming shorts. Once he got closer to the pool, he discarded his wife beater and laid them by my folded clothes. He walked to the deep end of the pool and dove in, resurfacing in minutes. I watched his interaction with Howie-- he was sad, he wasn't normal... or well the old Alex I knew.


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