If You Stay by Andro
Chapter 1 by Andro
Chapter 1

Chapter 1

            What am I doing? I am not the right person for her to send; why did I even mention I was interested? Caryss let the thoughts of self-doubt and apprehension run rapid through her mind as she finished packing her suitcases. By the time she was ready to call for the driver to come pick her up and take her to the airport, the thoughts had turned to a full-on one woman conversation out loud with herself.

            “I can’t do this,” she whispered quietly as she sat in the atrium of her high-rise apartment complex in Chicago waiting for her car. Tears welled up in her eyes and her cheeks burned, the urge to call her boss and cancel flickering underneath the tears she was holding in her eyes. She quickly snatched her cell phone out of her tan suede clutch that matched the boots on her feet perfectly and dialed a familiar number.

            “Hey sweets, I thought you’d be on the plane by now,” a friendly voice said on the other end without even so much as a hello beforehand.

            “I don’t think I can do this,” Caryss admitted, the tears erupting from her eyes like lava from a volcano as soon as she heard that proverbial voice. “I mean, am I really the right person to take over the new account? Why would my boss send me all the way to Los Angeles? Why not Krystal? She’s already out there; why couldn’t she just handle it? Laney, I’m freaking out here!”

            “Sis, calm down,” Laney instructed firmly, knowing all too well where this conversation was going. Laney was Caryss’s younger sister, by one year, ten months, and fourteen days, and she had become quite familiar with conversations like this. When they were younger, Laney used to tell Caryss whatever she wanted to hear in hopes of keeping her older sister on her good side. But as she matured, and the issues with her sister became bigger and more important, she started telling her sister what she needed to hear instead. This was one of those times.

            “Car, listen to me. There is a reason your boss picked you for this; because she knows you can do it. You have put in four years at that firm and you have earned every responsibility that’s been thrown your way with this project. Everyone there believes in you, and so do I; why don’t you believe in yourself?”

            As her sister was lecturing her, the car had arrived. Caryss rolled up the privacy shade between her and the driver, still wanting to keep this conversation as private as she could. Although she could admit it to herself and her sister, she didn’t want the whole world to know how insecure she was.

            “Laney, I hear what you’re saying and I know you are right. I don’t know why I always have to hear it from someone else first before I can believe it for myself. I don’t know what causes me to be so….anal and insecure!”

            “I think it stems back to that day in seventh grade when Bobby Turner told her he was breaking up with you and dating Lana Montgomery instead because her boobs were bigger,” Laney tossed back with a smile so big that it could have almost been seen right through the phone.

            “Yeah, well you may be right,” Caryss admitted with a laugh as she glanced down at her now ample, and all natural, bosoms. “But who got the last laugh on that one? That’s right, moi!”

            Both girls starting giggling in unison as they remember back to a few weeks ago when they ran into Lana while doing some Christmas shopping in the city. Lana, who had dated Bobby turner throughout the rest of grade school and high school and had married him the day after she turned eighteen, was now twenty-five, the same age as Caryss, but unlike Caryss, was now divorced and boob-less. She was rail thin and would have had a hard time creating cleavage for a low cut shirt even if she squished both her breasts together and had someone take a needle and thread sew them that way permanently. Bobby apparently didn’t like the fact that she lost all of her “shelf” as he had called it, and left her for his personal trainer with implants.

            As the giggling died down, Caryss lowered her tone, and in the most sincere and somber voice she could muster, she thanked her sister for once again putting things into perspective for her, since she was so completely unable to do it for herself.

            “You’re not unable sis, you just don’t allow yourself to feel pride or accomplishment. You have a hard time spreading your truly gifted and able wings and flying; but we’ll work on that. Have a great time in LA! You know you are going to have a lot of down time, so let yourself go and have fun! Maybe even meet…oh my God…a man!”

            “Ha ha, very funny, laugh it up,” said Caryss, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

            “Seriously though, have a good time. I mean, come on, we’re talking about Los Angeles in the middle of winter! When it’s snow-covered and freezing here, it’s going to be like 70 and beautiful there. I love you.”

            “I love you too sis. And thanks again.”

            “Anytime, that’s what I’m here for.”

            Caryss flipped her phone shut and held it in her hand for a minute as if by not putting it down, her sister was still there with her, even though the call had ended. When she felt satisfied, she tossed it back into her clutch and looked out the tinted window of the car. Signs for the airport and what lane to be in for each different terminal could now be seen, and Caryss knew her time limit to chicken out was fast approaching.

            I can still tell the driver to turn around and take me back to my apartment, she consoled herself as her palms started to sweat and her heart began to race. “No, Laney is right,” she affirmed out loud, hoping the privacy glass really meant private. “I am the right person for this and besides, I’ve been waiting for a chance to work with this organization for such a long time. I, Caryss Laon Martin, am designing the new ad campaign for Heal the Bay; I am the ‘it’ girl, and I can do this,” she vowed, with the same conviction and melodrama as a candidate for the class president’s election speech.

            As soon as her driver had loaded her luggage onto a cart and she had tipped him, she took off through the sliding glass doors of O’Hare International Airport pushing her cart and made her way up to the check-in counter to print her boarding passes and confirm her first-class seat on the non-stop flight from O’Hare to LAX. When she proceeded to the security check point with only her carry-on bag, she walked a little taller as she let her newly found confidence flow freely from her pores.



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