Expecting the sea by Kth
Story Notes:

Nick;
Suz;
AJ;
Brian;
Howie
Kevin
Sophia;
Joe;
Justin;
Lance
...

Chapter 1 by Kth
Author's Notes:
Over ?' Or just the beggining?

The decision
– I’m not sure if you should do that, Nicky…
I didn’t know what I was supposed to say, I had no idea. He hugged me for what was like the hundred times in a hour, looking me with that crazy absent, nowhere eyes, he made me melt, again and again. I was not sure if I would support him in this stupid crazy adventurous. If he got hurt? If we got hurt? And if the band wouldn’t be anymore The Band but ONLY and just a Band? OMG! I was really not sure…
– I love you, Sus…
– I love you too, Nick. – I said, waiting for his disaproval sight. Like I’ve expected, he looked me again and open his blue eyes with a cute smile undernear… – Oh! Whatever Nick.
I backed off once, again… I couldn’t expect understanding in his face, he would never understand what he was going to do, it was a totally mistake, it was crazy… And he knew better, but…
– Anyways, when are we going? – I asked, with my tremble voice.
– Ermm… – he spoked. – Ahah! – He laughed. – I knew it. Well, Kevin and Brian are schedualling some tours after this break and Andreia is thinking about maybe, next week… The show managers are talking ‘bout it…
– Okey, then… I’m going with ya, right?
– Yeah, that’s why I’m going to do this – he lied.
– No, your not…
I knew he wasn’t doing this for me. I didn’t want to go to that stupid show, to that stupid fucked up island where we could kill ourselves. Nick was crazy, Nick and the rest of the guys, I knew better than this, they wanted to go do all of that shit to make sure that the other guys of the other band would shut the fuck up and stop making fun of the Backstreet Boys.
– Ahah! – I tried to laugh… To fake a laugh. – You dreamed about it, didn’t you Nick? You’re not doing this for me… You are doing this for your stupid reputation, like you have some – I laughed.
Okey… I was his girlfriend, but still, I could joke around. It didn’t mean that I hated or something. I loved the guys since my 14 years old, knowing that now I’m Nick’s same age – 28. Whatever, I was his girlfriend, I would do anything for him, but I wasn’t okey thinking about this whole stupid fucked up shit that he and his best friends were going to do, The Survivor? Oh my god! My first thought when I knew this was: “Wasn’t that show over, or something? Didn’t die someone trying to reach out some of the rescue boats? OMG! Are you guys crazy?” – Of course, the guys must have been drunk or something, cause it almost killed me inside when AJ talked about bringing their girlfriends with them to the Island, I was like: ”You must ‘ve been in the Jack Daniels again!”… Okey… this one was bad, but… I’ve said it so many times, I was a fan, and most of all, I was Alex best friend, he knew I adored him, he knew he could count on me, and most of all, he knew that everything I would say was only to joke or only to make up his mind, not to hurt his feelings. He could make jokes about me to… Knowing that I was like FAN, but like FAN with every single letters. Sometimes we were like brothers and sisters, like the show, you know?
– My God! My god! – I yealled – Talking about the band… Is Kristin and Leighanne going?
– Nop! – He shocked his head around. – Leighanne is going to stay here with Baylee and Kristin with Mason.
– OMG! – I yelled once again. – My Godr52; Kevin and Brian must be like drunk, oh my god! Are you guys stupid? Leaving their own kids ‘cause you want to defend something that has no fucked up logic?
Nick looked at me and steped out in the front door.
– I don’t have kids…
– Thanks god! – I screamed. – But I’m sure if you did you would do the same shit. My God; I need to talk to Leighanne she must be so down.
– Ahm, ahm… – he membled again.
– Ahm?
– She, opposite than you, Sus… She is supporting Brian.
– What the ffffff… Why the fuck would she support him?
– Donno…
– Krstin must be down, then… someone with mind…
– She’s kinda reluntance, but she apoproved…
– Okey, than… Just… say to me one again – I introduced. – How much time are we going to be there?
– Ermm… 2 months?
– I hope I would be kick out in the first round – I smiled back to him.
– No, please… – he pleased.
– Yeah! I’m a girl, not a macho trying to be machostupid!
– Ahm? – Nick asked.
– Just whatever.
I sit back on the couch pulling my head down, I wasn’t feeling very well, I was like dreaming,I must ‘ve been sleeping, this wans’t right, I wans’t not going to do stupid stuff like this survivor show… Man, Nick was making me so fucking nervous, he promissed that he was not going to do another reality show, he was more: “CSI” – I remembered. My Godr52; This was so freacking fucked up… This wasn’t right, no it wasn’t. Why should he be in a reality show again? This was worst that House Of Carters, Oh my sleepy god! I hated so much that show. I knew Nick, HOC didn’t show even half of the real Nickolas, neither a half. Shit, shit, shit! I accepted to go to the show to, my god! What the heck was I going to do? Anyways… Nick sitted in the couch to, pulling me back to his shoulder, in the silence, I fall asleep, not my favorite hobbie… Still he was doing his favorite hobbie, while I was sleeping n his shoulder he was playing Mario in the Playstation 3, just the sound maked me annoyed, something that I faked to could stand for the millenious time.
I woked up when he steped out and screamed like a kid. What the fuck was that? – I almost screamed.
– What?
– I won! – he yelled kissing me in the cheek and repeting itonce again – I wonr52;
– Yeah! I already noticed that.
I looked back in my watch to see how much time I sleeped. Fucked… I was fucked, totally fucked; I forgot to go to AJ’s house.
– Why didn’t you wake up me? – I asked bothered.
– You seemed so angelic sleeping, I didn’t want to bother you.
– Yeah! Right, lier! – I steped out. Trying to kick his ass away. – You’re more interested to game, than watching me sleeping.
– Sorry! – he smiled.
Nick walked along with me with his arm trying to reach out my shoulder.
– Are you going to Aj’s home?
– Yes, Mr. Carter.
– Ermm… Going with ya.
– Hey! I didn’t invite you, did I?
– Ah, ah… You’re not thinking going in my ride, are you, Mrs…
– Just forget about… Rush!
– Thanks!
We stepped out the door. Lucky me, Mr. Carter wasn’t going to drive his Mercedes, than I could borrow his Suv, ihih! He promissed to give one to me, in pink, but I said to him, that I would kill him if he did that. First I’m totally independent on my self, I don’t like to have others people’s money and second I TOTALLY HATE (don’t like, LOL) pink!
Checking the car keys and the door closed we hang out to the car and I put the motor on! I was going to drive, ahah… I looked at him, he smiled, trying to fake a huge afraid smile.
– Ahah, chicken! – I called.
– Yeah! Don’t… Just don’t. You think that you’re like Michael Schumaker, don’t ya?
– In the female version! Yap!
Ahah… The way to AJ’s house was completely crazy.
While we were doing the road, I was thinking about the day we met. Me and the group.

~~ * Flashback * ~~

The bar was crowded. BSB after party, I had my oppurtunty to meet the guys.
With my huge smile, I entered the door with one of my best girlfriends and I looked around. Was nothing, nothing at all, we were expecting that the guys were already in the bar, but nothing. Marcus yelled at me “Over here!” – My heart started to beat, and beat and beat. I was dreaming, I must be dreaming. Over there me and my friend steped in other door, VIP door. Nothing, nothing at all, again. Marcus said to us to sit don in a cute fluffy coach. Pink, again, were the guys supposed to be here? In this fluffy cute pinkie cheesy room? I hoped in the bottom of my heart that not, I would be happy, like totally freacked out if I’ve saw them but I hoped that would’nt see them in here, it was so freacking… My friend stold me the word.
– Gay! – she yealled.
– Hey, Taah… xiuu! – I begged. – They must be next or something, would you like to meet them saying they are gays?
– I didn’t said they were gays, but this room is… GAYr52;
Marcus smilled back with an inquise smile… I didn’t know whatexpect, a cute messed up hugged with a nife in the back, or a cute hanging kick in my cute, fluffy ass. I knew it… Taah was talking to much. But… The room was really GAY!
Marcus didn’t do anything. Bothered… Stupid and really messed up with this all stupid situation, waiting for the boys, I bought my iPod and I put my phones in my hears, I was sure that the boys wouldn’t be there so earlier like they said they were goin’ to: Is it Saturday yet? In the player. My god! The music was totally stupid! Ut it had a cute vibe… Still, I wasn’t going to listen to it at all… If I had the cute oppurtunty to say something to the guys, one of the things were: “Nick, I love you from the bottom of my tiny heart, and you’ve got such cute voice, but please, STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD and stop trying to do SOLO CDs… andMovies like THE HOLLOW… it makes you look like Dork!
Thanks god nobody couldn’t read my thoughts, ‘cause if they did, my god! Nick would make sure that I wasn’t going to be near untill his next album.
– Hey girls!
Oh my freacking, fucking, blessy, messed up, cute, awesome, maddly, deeply GODr52; The Backstreet Boys, I almost freacked out in a bad way, I almost fell off, I almost die. I couldn’t speak, too much, too much, too hot, too hot, too… OH MY GODr52; HOT! I could’nt stop looking at his face, my god! Forever them, oh my god!
Taah gived them kissed and huggs while I was shocked…Really shocked. OMFG! I would die again… no, wait, I must be dead… Cause… They are the paradise… Uh! HOTr52;
– Hey! – Nick looked at me and smiled.
Crancky – I thought, – But hot! Cheesy, but hot… Oh my god! Just talk!
He touched my face, I stepped back. “What the heck was that?” I looked… Oh my godr52; He touched me, he touched me… Oh MY God! TALK TO HIM!
– She doesn’t talk? – Kevin smiled back at Taah.
– Yes, I talk! – I crancked.
– Uh! She talks…
– Hey! Stop making fun… – I tried to smile… – Sorry! I was like…
– Ehehe! We know you were.
– Whatever… So… Hey!
– Hey! – the almost singed it.
– Hmm… – Back… – So… I’m Susanne…
– I’m Taah! – she smiled.
– I’m Bri…
– Yeah, we knowr52; – Taah yelled.
The group started to laugh hardly. I had no idea what that meaned but I was going to find out. My histerical moment was gone, thans god! – I almost prayed. They were there, Kevin, Brian, Nick, Howie and AJ. They were there.

***
We hang out for a while in the club and next we had to go to the hotel.
I fall on my bed, next to Taah’s bed, I was so happy that I almost couldn’t sleep, at all… Tomorrow was only a next day, today, my god! Was awesome. – I thought.
Sandly I was going to be alone again, without the guys. We were fans, I was sure, we were sure they wouldn’t do anything more than things like Singer to Fan. My God! I wish Nick would look at me the way I looked at him… Whatever, I wasn’t going to cry, unless…
The phone ringed. Who the hell it was?
– Yes? – I accepted the call.
– Hey!
His voice… Oh My God!
– Hey, Nicky!
– Hey, Sus… How are you since half an hour ago?
– I’m great! You?
– Awesome… Well, I thought…
– You thought? But you think or something?
He tried to laugh but the joke wasn’t supposed to be like this, but I was nervous, OMG, it was nick!
– So… I thought… Tomorrow it’s our break…
– Hmm… tomorrow I’m goin home. – I said.
– Hmm… Sorry to know that… I thought you could, we could hang out a while.
– REALLY?? – OMG! Shit on you SUS!
– Oh! – he almost cried out loud.
– Sorry!
– It’s okey, I’m used to…
– But, sorry… LOL… It’s that… long history… so… Can we?
– Yeah! I invited you…
– Yeah, course…

***
I didn’t know what to do, I was going home… Nick made me be sur that I started to feel in love, but I wasn’t sure if I was going to love him, or if I could… The three dates we had were like crazy. And I started to know about Nickolas and not about Nick Carter the singer. My God!

~~ * End of Flashback * ~~

– SUSr52;
– Ahm? – I woke up for the flash.
– We are here…
– Yeah! I know… I was driving…
– Yeah, but you stoped the car and ddn’t open the door… Are you okey?
– Yeah, Dorky! Can we go…
– Yeah, just, one thing… – he asked.
– What?
– OPEN THE DOOR!
– Ooh! Sorry!

I almost slammed the door while I walked to the house! Cute house.
We entered. The white wall shined… Alex and Baylee nextto the door hugged me with a cute smile, Nick looked at Brian.
– Hey! You’re late! – Alex said.
– Yeah! Sorry, Nicky Nick did’t ring…
– ahm?
– The alarm… – I laughed.
– Ooh! Come’n…
Nick kissed me in the cheek. I hugged Brian and Leighanne. And then I said hi to Kev and Leigh and Kristin. “Where the heck is Howie?” – I almost asked, hearding a splash outside.
– In the pool – I answered to myself. – So…
– I’m going to call Howie… – Leigh said.
– No! – Nick jumped. – We can talk next to the pool.
– Just… Okey! – AJ and we stepped in the garden and Nick splashed in the pool.
– My god! He is worse tha a kid… – I mumbered.
– Yeah! That’s why you like him… – Alex smiled.
Everyone laughed. They were right! I loved him… I was crazy ‘bout him, nobody could say the opposite, I really felt in love, I almost could kill my slef to save him, I really loved him.
I wans’t sure if I really wanted to go to the Island, I didn’t… I could cry, being slave, act, I don’t know, I would do anything to don’t go on the island, but nick promissed me something, and nobody could no anything about it, but I didn’t want to go. And the fans reaction? The two group fans? It wasn’t fair to some of the fans… Not even fair for me… I was Nick’s girlfriend, I was AJ’s best friend, I was a fan of the Backstreet Boys. And I was fan of the *Nsync Guys. What the heck should I do?
We discussed like what seemed for hours. Leigh was going with us to, and Sophia – Aj’s girlfriend too. But we were three, trying to be negative to the situation, we knew it so much better than them. Me and Sophia, we were like crazy for the group before we met Nick and AJ, we didn’t want he group separation, we knew… We knew thatit was not only because we loved the group, but because “our boys” loved music, and everything with it, they loved it, they did, they couldn’t imagine their lifes without music, and me and the rest of the girls new it. Boys will be boys…
And Baylee? And Maison? What could they feel about this fucked up situation? Would they like? They wouldn’t… We knew it…
– So… – somebody was talking to AJ in the cell phone. – Okey! – He answeared… Okey… Friday night… Thanks Drea!
He turned of the hone and smiled back at us, my cute already knew afraid…
– We’re going this Friday!
Oh my god! What was I going to do?
Sophia looked at me and signed in the air the tiny simbol “come!” Leigh camed with us to the bathroom. The guys looked at us, Leighanne shacked her head. Ick and AJ and Howie were silent, they knew how much this hurted, we, the girlfriends were going to go with them to a Island where there was no food, no house, no music, no cell phone, no… Everything but 21 century.
– Suz… – the called me.
I started to cry, if it wasn’t Nick, I wouldn’t do this I wouldn’t, I couldn’t… It was totally against my willes… I was against every single reality show, I was against the way the guys wanted to stop this war with *Nsync.
– They are such boys! – Sophia yelled.
– Suz… You have to stand for Nick
– Yeah! I know that… But still, and if he got hurt? I’m sure he will be hurt, and me? And this? And the group? Oh my god! We’re suich dumbs!
I looked at the mirrow, I could jump of, try to kill someone, try to… Whatever, I already said it, I was going, going to do something against my self being, shit on my self!
– See… We must be prepared, came’on Suz… It wouldn’t be so hard like that.
Ahm, ahm! How much sarcastic tone that voice had?


This story archived at http://absolutechaos.net/viewstory.php?sid=9178