“Hey,” Valerie said as she hugged Howie. “Wow you’re still short,” she laughed as she saw him roll his eyes. “I want to meet this kid of yours and let’s hope he got the good genes. So he can be tall and handsome, not just handsome like the father.”

“Whatever Vals, come on lets go Leigh is anxious to meet you,” Howie told his friend of many years. Actually she had pretty much vanished for a while. She had left Florida to go to school in North Carolina. “I am happy for you and your internship here,” he told her as they left the airport.

“I can’t believe you have a house here in California, man you backstreet boy you. But, I agreed to only stay with for you a month tops. I have to find myself a place of my own.” She gave him a grin as he opened the door for her. “Well at least you’re still the gentleman I know,” she told him.

“So mami sends you a hug and a hello. She wants to know when you’ll visit her and amuse her with your stories about your traveling adventures.” She laughed, “God I am so glad I only passed there for a few weeks. Now I am back on my own,” she told him as she looked at the scenery that passed as he drove.

“You’re the same rebel girl I remember,” he said giving her a friendly smile. “Did you at least get along with your Pops?”

“Nope he still thinks I need to loose weight and he keeps asking me when I am getting married. He even insinuated that maybe I was a lesbian.” She pretended to laugh but sometimes she actually did think about it. She was all brain and no beauty.

“You lesbian? Ha,” Howie said laughing… “He is so wrong remember when I caught you in my pool skinny dipping with some guy you had met just that day?” he laughed as he remembered. “That was the last time I let you house sit while on tour.” He stopped laughing as he saw her grin disappear on her face into a more serious. “Vals you are never going to be super skinny your Latin. You have the hips and thighs of one, don’t believe your old man he’s just scared that he will leave you alone in this world.”

She sighed as she heard him, “I know but sometimes it gets to me,” she told him as she patted his shoulder, “talking about that sorry about your Dad, he was such a sweetheart.”

“Thanks he’s still here with me,” Howie told her as he pointed to his heart. “Anyways enough about sad things, you should be happy that out of all the applicants you got the internship.”

“Yes I did baby I didn’t waste half my life studying for no reason.” She told him as she dug through her purse finding what she was looking for. “May I?”

“When did you pick up that habit?” Howie asked as he rolled down the windows nodding at her question.

“Ugh please don’t give me the same lecture my mami gave me. It just sort of happened, my ex-boyfriend smoked like crazy and then all of a sudden I was smoking too.” She told him as she lit the cigarette in her hand. “It helped me loose some weight too, haven’t you noticed.” She gave him a cheesy smile.

“Well FYI no smoking in the house for baby James sake,” Howie said as he pulled up to his house.

“Wow…damn Howie this is a huge place, I love it.” She told him as she finished her smoke. “You definitely have to help me find a home here,” she said as she opened the door and stepped out of the car.

“I said I would,” he told her as grabbed her belongings helping her bring them into there home.

*********

It had been exactly one week since Valerie Mendez had arrived to California. She was there for the sole purpose of finishing her internship and finally getting her residency in emergency medicine. She felt like that would be right for her she could almost feel her adrenaline pumping as she helped in the ICU. She had a rough first week where she basically only brought coffee and what not to her mentor Dr. Russell Bates. “Sir I would like to interact with the patients as well. I think I am not learning much when I am out getting you coffee or doing your errands.” She told Dr. Bates in frustration.

“Miss Mendez, why don’t you fetch me a nice cold bottle of water?” Dr. Bates told her as he gave her a grin.

“You know what I earned this internship and I will go above you to get the education I came here for!” she told him. “I am not your assistant I am your intern. I want to learn, so call me when you are ready to teach me and you get your water. Now I am my way to see Chief resident see if she can find me a better mentor.” She turned and began to walk away cussing in Spanish in frustration.

Dr. Bates smiled as he saw her sudden change in character, “Miss Mendez no need to see Dr. Roberts, I think you can help with the patient in room 214,” he told her as he grabbed her arm stopping her from walking away.

She gave him a fake smile as she pulled her arm away from his grip. “Really wow why the sudden change?” she asked him as she began to walk with him to room 214.

******

“Hello?” Valerie answered her phone as she saw Howie’s name appear on the caller ID.

“Hey how’s your day?” Howie asked her.

“Great I actually got to see and treat patients today,” she told him with a smile on her face. “I had to curse Dr. Bates in Spanish but I got him to treat me as his intern instead of his personal assistant.”

Howie laughed as he heard her, “well I was wondering if you wanted to join us for Dinner,” he asked as he looked back into the studio with his band mates were.

“Who’s us?” she asked him smiling.

“Well me and the guys have been in a recording studio and will be starving after this so we are going out to eat, Leigh is going to meet us there so do you want to come?” he asked her.

“Uhm ok, since today I get out early.” She told him, why not she had nothing else to do and it was apparent that if she didn’t accept she would be stuck in the big house alone till they came back. “Give me the address, I’ll meet you there first I have to go home and change out of my scrubs.”

*********

After trying on many shirts she had decided on one that hid her big rolls, “ok here I go,” she sighed as she looked at the sign. “I am actually meeting someone here, Howard Dorough,” she told the waiter that helped her. A few seconds later she was following a waiter toward the back of the restaurant. She smiled as she saw Howie smiling as he carried little James in his hands. “Where’s a camera when you need one?” she said as she approached the table.

“Hey Vals glad you made it,” Leigh told her as she stood up and greeted her. “We were waiting on you,” she told her.

“Oh you didn’t have too,” she told her as she looked around recognizing the other faces from a long time ago. “Hi,” she told them shyly.

“Oh yeah guys remember my friend Valerie Mendez,” Howie said to his other friends.

“I do,” Brian said as he stood and startled Valerie with a warm hug. “I don’t know if you remember me, but just in case I’m Brian.”

“Yeah I remember you and that one prank you and him pulled on Howie.” She gave him a smile.

“So you remember me? I don’t remember you maybe because I was much younger then,” Nick said as he stood up and shook her hand. He didn’t know if he could actually give her a hug she was still a stranger to him.

“I see you lost the chili bowl hair cut,” she told him making everyone laugh.

“Why are we laughing?” AJ said as he finally joined the table. He stopped talking when he saw who was there, “No way? Vals?” he asked as he gave her a big smile.

“The one and only… wow you’ve changed.” She told AJ as she hugged him and gave him a small peck on the cheek. Something she did to everyone she was comfortable with, it was her roots. It meant respect. “Nice tattoos… so many.”

“I know but they describe me the best. So I heard about the internship good for you.” he told her taking a seat by Nick.

“Yeah thanks, I worked hard for it.” She told him as she stared at him. She knew AJ the best because he was the one that hung around Howie the most back in the days.

“So why don’t we order?” Howie said as he handed sleeping James back to Leigh.

She cringed as she heard everyone order something delicious, but not for her she needed to loose more weight she knew that, “I’ll have a salad with lemon and salt no dressing.” She told the waiter. “I’m not that hungry today,” she told Leigh who was looking at her a little odd. “After this one patient I had yeah I lost my appetite.”

********

She had walked out on them for a smoke; she stood outside enjoying the nicotine that invaded her lungs. She exhaled the smoke and almost jumped when she felt the tap on her shoulder, “Damn it AJ you scared the crap out of me,” she told him facing him.

“Sorry I needed one too,” he told her as he lit his own cigarette. “So when did you start smoking?”

“Eh, it’s been a while.” She told him giving him a smile. “So how you been?”

“Today was a good day, you know I take it a day at a time.” he gave her a smile.

“Howie told me about your solo album, that’s good for you…” she told him suddenly looking at the floor. How could she forget her silly crush on him back in the day?

“Yeah, hopefully it will be released soon.” He told her as he finished his smoke. Finally after rubbing the back of his neck several times he asked her, “So have you seen Becky?”

There it was he was only being friendly to her because of Becky. Seriously that was a long time ago… “No we stopped talking after I beat the crap out of her one Christmas.”

“What when was this,” he asked giving her a smile.

“Well by then you and Howie were never really there. I just got tired of being her friend just to feel like I was someone special. I knew she only used me and I allowed it till she began telling me what to eat and wear. I got tired of it and one day I just jumped on her. Mami had to pull me off her. Last thing I heard about her was she was married to her high school sweetheart.” She smiled as she saw his expression change. “Please don’t tell me you still had hopes with her? Please you can and deserve someone better.”

“No I was curious I used to have a major crush on her sue me.” he shrugged at her and then he kissed her on the cheek. “It’s good to see you and hopefully we can hangout again.”

She watched him go back into the restaurant. Suddenly all she could feel was his lips on her cheek. “No Valerie you can’t still have a crush on him. That was so yesterday. Besides he doesn’t date cows.” She told herself as she threw her cigarette butt on the pavement and walked back inside.

“Well based on her symptoms she either has food poisoning or…” she stopped talking when she saw a nurse rush in conveying Dr. Bates to follow her.

“Dr. Bates your needed in the ICU there was a head on collision with a trailer and a bus with lot of people injured. We have a total of ten coming to Sinai and the others are being sent to other hospitals.” The nurse said in a fast rate.

“Miss Mendez you have a great opportunity here, diagnose Mrs. Lopez and treat her; once your done I expect you in ICU ready to see blood and what not.” He told Valerie as he went to leave the room.

“Yes Dr. Bates I will there as soon I am done.” Valerie told him excitement heard in her voice, it wasn’t that she wasn’t sad about the situation but that meant hands on education.

*******


“Yes mother,” Valerie said into her phone. “No I won’t overstay my welcome I am already looking for a place. I love you too…yes I will tell him. Mami, please I promise to tell Howie that you think little James is an angel. Yes I tell him to send you more pictures.” She rolled her eyes as she entered the house. She shut her phone and looked around, it seemed that no one was home; it was good because she felt like shit. Today she had witnessed one of her patients pass away while under her care.

Even after Dr. Bates hugged her and told her it was ok to feel like she did. “We did all we could,” were Dr. Bates words as he held her in his arms. Since when had she started to think that maybe Dr. Bates was attractive in his own way? He had been so nice to her today as she felt like she was a failure, sure you are taught that you can’t always save everyone but this was her first fatality. She jumped when she heard the door to the house open. “Hey,” she greeted Leigh and Howie.

“You beat us home,” Leigh told her as she gave Howie the carriage with James in it.

“I’ll go put him in his crib,” Howie said as he walked away.

“What’s wrong,” Leigh asked as she saw the blood stain on her scrubs.

“I got hands on training today,” Valerie told her trying to cover her sadness. “I lost a patient today,” she said her lips trembling.

“Oh, wow I’m sorry…” Leigh told her giving her a hug. “I wish I knew what to say Val,” she told her hugging her tightly.

“I’ll be fine I just need to shower and I’ll be fine,” she told her as she walked away and into her room.

Leigh watched Valerie disappear into the guest room and sighed, “Something is wrong with her.”

“Yeah you think so?” Howie said startling her. “Sorry,” he said realizing he had surprised her.

“Call it woman’s intuition but something is not right with her,” Leigh told him.

“I know Val she’s fine just a little stressed. She is a very strong girl.” Howie told his wife as he wrapped his arms around here. “I think she will be happy to know that I found the perfect apartment for her just a few blocks from where she works.”

*******

She made sure the coast was clear as she opened the front door and walked out. She didn’t want to have to explain her break down to Howie. “Yes,” she said as she lit her cigarette.

“Vals?” AJ said as he walked up to the entrance of Howie’s home.

“Do you seriously want to fucking kill me from a heart attack?” she asked him as she exhaled the smoke.

AJ laughed, “Yeah you’re still the same girl, no sorry I just always seem to surprise you.” He kissed her on the cheek, “So is Howie here?”

“Yeah I believe so,” she told him as she step aside so he could go through. “Uh, you could you not tell him I’m out here…please?”

“What already got in each others nerves?” he asked.

“No it’s just I want to be alone,” she told him as she disposed of her cigarette butt. “I’m going to go for a walk,” she told him as she put her wet hair into a messy bun.

“Well…do you want company?” he asked her realizing something was bothering her.

“Nah, I will just be forced to run if you get mobbed by fans. I’ll be ok…” she gave him a weak smile as she began to walk. She was almost out of the gate when she heard him calling her.

“Val,” he said as he reached for her. “Come on get in my car we’re going somewhere.” He told her not allowing her to say no he began to pull her toward his car.

“I guess I have no choice,” she told him a little annoyed. “Where are we going? I thought you were here to see Howie.”

He laughed as he began to drive, “Well I was just going to bug him. But we have a lot to catch up in,” he told her staring at her. He watched her from the corner of his eye, she hadn't change she still had that temper. “So, do you have a beau we don’t know about?”

“No… I am a tough chick to handle I always chase them away with my smart ass or my physical appearance. What can I say? So what about you, we all know you get laid often. But I mean an honest to good gal?” she gave him a grin.

He laughed at her comment, “What can I say I am very handsome guy…it’s not my fault chicks just throw themselves at me…” he said acting all cocky. “No kidding that was the old me, the new me isn’t like that Val, I am a changed man. Now I want the real deal…” he told her in a more serious tone.

She gave him an honest smile, “I’m happy for you…soon we will see you like Howie all lovey dovey with twins.” She laughed as she finished her statement.

“Twins???” AJ said in surprise. “Well at least you said that I get that with my luck I will be the one to have the girl.”

“Yeah I don’t know I get that, you look like you have twins in your genes. It will be a girl and boy…” she told him as she turned to look out of the window. “So are you going to tell me where we are going?”

“You’ll see don’t worry Val I am not going to take advantage of you…” he grinned at her.

“Oh I know you won’t unless you want to end up in the hospital…” she laughed back at him she knew he was joking. She knew better than to think that AJ would ever look at her as anything more than a friend.

“Talking about hospital how’s the internship going?” he asked as he looked through his pocket and took out his cigarette pack. “Want one?” he asked as he stopped at a red light giving him the chance to light his cigarette.

She gave a big sigh and gladly accepted another cigarette…she lit it and spoke, “Good I guess…” she told him exhaling out the smoke.

“You guess? What happened that you don’t sound too excited with your internship. Don’t tell it’s not what you expected?” he said as he pulled into his home.

“No it’s exactly what I expected yet I guess I didn’t realize that…” she sighed and looked at him. “That this time it was real people I was treating. I lost someone today…he flat lined on me.”

“I’m sorry Vals, maybe it was his time to go… don’t blame yourself you did your best. I know your going to be the best god damn doctor out there,” he told her as he patted her shoulder. “Come let’s go,” he said turning off his ignition.

“What? This is your house?” she said finally realizing where they were. “God damn it, you guys need a new member right since Kevin left? By golly I will fucking dress like a man and sing with you all if I can get a house like this.” she said stepping out of the car.

AJ laughed at her comment he knew she was joking, “Yeah I’d pay to see you do that, how would be explain the…” he stopped talking and pointed to her well endowed chest.

“Plastic surgery AJ,” she told him rolling her eyes at him. “Come I want to see the inside.”

********

“Oh hell yeah,” Valarie said as she pocked the eight ball. “Man you really were rusty,” she told him dancing. “This is my victory dance,” she told him as she danced around.

AJ laughed as he watched her dance around, “I want a rematch,” he told her as he went up to her and stopped her. “Stop doing that it just doesn’t look right,” he said giving her sly move. “You’re going to give bad ideas.” He said walking out of the room.

She stopped and watched him walk out, was he serious? No he was just being a tease like always, “Oh its ok AJ I don’t think you can handle me either way,” she spat back also giving him a sly smile as she saw him pouring himself a glass of ginger ale.

He looked up from what he was doing and watched her. He looked her up and down, “You want something to drink,” he asked her changing the subject. She was a little on the heavy side but she was pretty. He wasn’t going to admit that to her, he didn’t want to make her feel awkward around him.

She felt herself blush when she saw him looking at her, “Yeah, water.” She told him.

“Yeah ok,” he said as he went to get another glass from the cupboard. He wasn’t watching his step and making the glass fall breaking into pieces. “Shit!” he said as bending down to pick up the pieces.

She ran toward him bending down to help him, “Its ok here, where do you have the dust pan?” she asked him looking around his big kitchen.

“In the laundry room,” He said pointing toward the door. He continued to curse as she walked away. “Fuck,” he said as he saw the blood oozing from his hand.

“AJ!” she said dropping the dustpan. She pulled him to his feet and dragged him to the faucet, “here put your hand under the water, where’s your aid kit?”

“In the guest restroom down the hall,” he said watching his hand under the running water. “That was fast,” he said as she came back with the kit.

“Well I do this for a living AJ,” she told him as she started to help clean his cut, “It’s not that deep…” she told him as she cleaned it and put some peroxide on it. “Does it hurt?”

“Not right now,” he told her as he watched her. She was so gentle and it seemed like she really cared for his hand to be ok. “Thanks I can see why you’re in that field.”

“Well its like abuela Rita use to tell me, Pisces are caring people they always feel for the others. They are healers,” Val told AJ as she finished putting on the band aid. “Your set, wait here I will clean the rest up.”

“So you went into the medical field because your grandma told you that?” he asked her as he watched her clean the rest of the glass off the floor. He couldn’t help but watch her butt from where he stood; he smiled as he watched her.

“No…only part of it. I am a Pisces and to be honest I like my job. I didn’t like loosing someone today but, besides that I feel good helping sick people feel good.” She told him as she threw away the glass. “I think I should go,” she told him as she turned to see him.

“You have a natural blush on your cheeks,” he told her touching her cheek. “Thanks for helping with my injury…” he told her. “I guess I should take you back. But you owe a rematch,” he told her.

“Thanks for tonight I had fun,” Valerie told AJ as she took off her seatbelt. “Make sure to clean the cut so it won’t get infected ok?” she told him as she leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Yes doctor,” he told her giving her a smile.

“Not yet but soon,” she told him as she stepped out of the car. “Call me when you are ready to get your ass beaten again.”

He laughed at her, “We’ll see,” he told her before the door closed. He watched her walk up to the house. She was fun to hang around with and she cursed just as much as he did. Maybe this time they would have a chance to bond more since her best friend Howie was now a married man.

******

“Good morning,” Valerie greeted Dr. Bates who was already drinking coffee.

“Good morning Miss Mendez, are you feeling better today?” he asked giving her a smile.

Valerie smiled back to her mentor just getting lost in his blue eyes. “Yes, you were right I can only do so much. It’s just it was my first patient that…” she looked down. “You know what I mean,” she told him looking back at him.

“Yes I do and call me Russell, if we are going to be working together. We need to feel at ease, you call me Russell and I will call you?” he pointed at her as he looked through some folders.

“Val,” she told him.

“Ok Val, then lets go see our first patient.” He told her as he walked out of his office holding the door open for her. “We are going too see a woman who is complaining of chest pain and numbness on her left arm,” he said looking at her.

“Oh, those are symptoms of a stroke or heart attack,” she told him smiling at him. He had totally changed since she had put her foot down; he was such a great doctor now.

“Yes it is. So Val are you married?” he asked her trying to be subtle.

Val gave him a quizzical face, “No, why sir?” she asked him.

“Ah, what did I say?” he told her stopping and facing her. “I just want to get to know you, nothing more Val.”

“Right Russell,” she cleared her throat, “Yes I am single and you?” she asked him.

“Going through a divorce,” he told her as he finally pointed to the room they were going to.

********

“Howie what the F are you doing here,” Valerie told him as she pulled him to a more secluded area.

“Relax woman,” Howie said hugging her. “I came to take you to lunch,” he told her winking at her.

“Oh my god Howie you have to loose that wink. Again what the hell did Leigh see in you…wait till I share with her some of our adventures!” she told him teasingly.

“Don’t you dare Val or I won’t tell you what else I came for,” he said as he walked with her to his car.

“Fine but aren’t you scared we might get mobbed because of your celebrity status?” she asked him as she looked around making sure no one was paying attention to them.

Howie laughed, “Come Val it’s not that bad. That only happened back in the crazy nineties.” He told her as he opened the door to his car.

“Whatever,” she told him getting in. “So where are we going to go eat?” she asked him.

“There’s this nice deli just a few blocks that is to die for.” Howie told her as he drove out of the hospital parking lot.

“Ok so what else were you going to tell me?” she asked him.

“Wait till we get to the restaurant!” he told her.

“You know I hate to wait just tell me Howie…” she told him getting annoyed by the smirk on his face. He liked the idea of teasing her with his secret.

“Fine I’ll tell you…” he told her as he parked his car. “No wait even better here,” he told her handing her a folder and a key.

She eyed him a crazy look, she opened the folder and read the contract. “No fucking way…Oh my god Howie.” She told him reaching over and hugging him. “Te adoro,” she told him. “So can I move in already?” she asked him.

He hugged her back, “I love you too crazy even if you can beat the crap out of me. Will you be able to afford it? If not I told you I can lend you the money till you can pay me back…” he told her with a concern tone.

“No Howie you’ve done enough. I can afford it I just have to learn to economize a tad bit.” She told him. “Can we go see it? I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“We can see it from here,” he said as he pointed to a building just down from the deli. “The fourth floor,” he said to her with a grin.

She began to cry, she hated to cry but how could she not? Howie was more like her father figure than his own father. “Thank you so much Howie,” she told him again hugging him. “You’re like the bother I never had.”

“You are one of my best friends, normal friend to be exact. Val you know you can always count me,” he told her. “Is something wrong that I don’t know about?” he asked her.

She wiped away her tears, “No it’s just overwhelming that even after not talking in a very long time you and me can still be so close. Leigh couldn’t have found a better husband, I know I tease you a lot but Howie you have a heart of gold.”

“Ok enough of this smoochy stuff I’m starving come on,” he said.

*******

“What happened to you?” Chris asked AJ as he took a seat.

“I had a little accident last night,” he told his friend.

“So what will you have?” he asked him as he called the waiter.

“Coke and I still have to look through the menu,” he said not looking up to his friend instead just skimming the menu.

“So an accident? What you do?” Chris asked curiously looking at his hand it had been wrapped in bandages.

“Well I had friend over and she asked for a glass of water. You know me being the clumsy man that I am I dropped the glass. It shattered into pieces and I cut myself.” He said giving him the look that said not to ask anymore questions.

“Oh yeah that won’t work buddy spill who is this friend? Did you get lucky last night?” he asked giving his friend a smirk.

AJ rolled his eyes, “No Chris no, she is just a friend. Well actually it’s one of Howie’s childhood friends. She is here doing an internship in Cedars-Sinai…” he looked up to see him grinning.

“That explains why your bandages look the way they do,” he told him.

“Don’t Chris don’t start. Val is just a good friend and we had a nice time together as friends. She is not my type…” he told him regretting what he said right after it was out of his mouth.

“Why not? You seem to have a little glow today,” Chris told him pretending to be wise.

“Fuck you,” AJ told him laughing at him. “You amaze me sometimes. Wait till you meet her, and then you’ll see what I mean. Besides Valerie and I never really got along back then we just sort of had to tolerate each other for Howie’s sakes. She used to pick at me and I would of course pick at her. It was refreshing to have had a good conversation yesterday where non of us wanted to rip the other’s throat.”

********

“Wait Val,” Russell said as he caught her just outside the hospital. “I know tomorrow is your day off and I just wanted to let you know that I am glad I got you as my intern. You’re smart, cute and easy to teach. A very fast learner…” he stopped when he saw Valerie’s arched brow.

“Why thank you Russell. I have to admit at first I hated your guts but now you’re tolerable.” She laughed and looked away knowing she was blushing. Was Dr. Bates flirting with her? No he couldn’t be right men like him didn’t look at women like her in that way.

“So there’s this nice bar just a few blocks away where I go to drink when work was hectic want to come? I mean if you don’t have any plans I mean.” He gave her a smile.

“God yes I’d love a drink at this point,” she told him as she lit a cigarette. “Do you mind?” she asked him.

“No not at all,” he told her as he walked with her to his car.

She felt a little awkward as she took a seat beside him, “So Russell do you always do what you did to me to your new interns?” she asked him.

“No only the ones I know are here to save lives,” he told her smiling at her.

“It’s pretty ironic isn’t it? I mean I want to save lives yet everyday I put my own in danger with this…” she told him as she finished her cigarette tossing it out the window.

“Well, that’s life for you.” he told her as he drove. “So are you a mixed drink or beer drinker?” he asked.

“Eh, both I did live in a dorm you know. Parties all the time.” she told him.

******

“Thanks for the drinks,” she told him as she got off his car.

“Val?” Russell said as he grabbed a hold of her hand not allowing her to leave. He sighed and leaned in kissing her softly on her mouth. “I had a great time too.”

Valerie closed her eyes as she felt his lips on hers, since when did a guy like Russell look at her that way. But damn it felt good, “What was that for?” she asked as she pulled her hand from his grip.

“I just seem to be really attracted to you,” he told her giving her a grin. “I’ll see you at work on Thursday then?”

“Yeah,” was all she said as she got off a little confused and tipsy. What was that for she had to admit she liked it though? She watched him speed away and began to walk up to the house bumping into someone. “Fuck, oh my god AJ!” she said laughing. “I didn’t see you there,” she said still in a fit of laughs.

“Are you drunk?” he asked as he helped her walk.

“Nah I just a couple of drinks that’s all. What are you doing here?” she asked him.

“Oh me I was just here visiting Howie that’s all. He told me the good news about your new apartment.” He said trying to not sound too disappointed with what he had just seen. She had kissed who ever that guy was that brought her home.

“Yeah I’m actually moving in tomorrow since it’s my day off. Want to help?” she asked as she gripped on his hand to not fall.

“Yeah ok sure I’ll come by,” he told her as he helped her to the door. “I think you got if from here, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She smiled at him, “ok bye…how’s the hand?”

“Good thanks…good night.” he waved at her but quickly came running back to her when he saw her slip…

“Shit,” Valerie said as she dragged herself off bed. “I need a shower,” she told herself as she grabbed what she needed for the shower. She was about to head into the shower when a knock on the door stopped her. “Coming,” she said as she walked toward the door.

“Good morning? How are you feeling?” Howie asked as he gave her a funny look. “Man Val you look like crap!”

“Geez thanks buddy,” she told him allowing him to enter the room. “I was just about to go shower, I need to start my moving ordeal.” She said as she yawned again.

“So are you going to share with me who you went out with yesterday? You were a bit drunk and all I heard was Dr. Bates likes me…” he said rubbing the back of his neck.

She covered her face with embarrassment as she heard him, “Yeah that was just bullshit I say when I am drunk. Sorry it’s just that some of the interns and I went for a drink after work. Did I say anything else that I will hate to know later?” she asked him.

He laughed at her, “well it was more of what you did,” he said as he raised his brow at her.

“What did I do?” she asked him.

“You fell just outside the house lucky for you AJ was there to help you up. He told me he had just helped you up to the door and you had just told him good night when you made an attempt to walk… the next thing he said was that you tumbled and fell.” He laughed at her… “I can’t believe I missed that.”

“Fuck you,” she told him sticking her tongue out at him. “I guess that explains the bruise on my elbow and the sore neck.” She told him as she rubbed her neck. “AJ was here?”

“Yeah he came to see some stuff about the new tour we are planning. He was here for a while something about a rematch between you two. It was actually a coincidence that you two met just outside the door,” he told her as the baby monitor on his hand began to make noise. “There’s James awake again, I’ll talk to you during breakfast,” he told her as he walked out of her room.

**********

“I’ll get it,” Valerie told both Howie and Leigh. She opened the door to find AJ there, “Hey good morning.” She told him as she kissed him on the cheek and allowed him to come in.

“Good morning how’s the elbow?” he asked he as he came in. “It was a pretty hard fall last night,” he told her.

“It’s a little sore but nothing major. How’s the hand?” she asked him.

“Well after last night I kind of reopened it again but I took care of it,” he told her smiling at her. “Doesn’t look as good as your work but its good enough.”

“What? I am sorry it’s my fat ass… you probably almost fell too helping me. That’s it I won’t drink again.” She told him as she took his injured hand in hers. “Let me take a look at it,” she told him as she dragged him to the guest restroom.

“Ouch,” AJ said as she pulled away the bandages and looked at his cut.

“Oh quit being a baby,” she told him looking into his eyes. “I’m just going change these for you and just check to see if there is no infection.”

“You’re not fat, don’t ever say that ok?” he told her picking her face so she could see him.

“I only speak the truth AJ. I am ok with accepting the truth…” she told him giving him a smile.

He sighed as he watched her go back to her task, “Just don’t say it in front of me its sounds very degrading Val. What matter’s is the inside…but your not big you are just right for you.”

She laughed as she heard him, “Look AJ even I don’t believe that…you out of all people should know that in this world if you’re not skinny and beautiful you are considered disgraceful. Isn’t that true?” she asked him as she let go of his hand. “You’re done that looks better,” she told him.

“Thanks again,” he told her as he watched her walk out. “Val I’m sorry forget I even brought that subject up. Let’s just get you moved out ok?” he told her as he let go of her arm.

*********

“Wow Val this is a nice place,” Leigh said she looked around. “I can’t believe Howie got this deal and they even left it furnished.”

“I know he’s a genius.” She told her as she plopped into one of the couches. “The only thing about this is I am going to miss him,” she told Leigh as she reached and took little James from her arms. “Hey buddy if daddy does anything to upset you let me know I will beat the living Jesus out of him for you ok?”

Leigh laughed as she saw Val speak to her son, “I think there back with the rest of your stuff,” she told her just as Howie opened the door with a few suitcases in hand.

“Man Val what did you put in here?” he asked her as he set them down on the hardwood floor.

“Seriously,” AJ said as he put the ones he carried down as well.

“Rocks I wanted you guys to workout so last night in my drunken state I went to your back yard and filled my suitcases with Rocks. I wouldn’t want your fans to be disappointed if your hard abs and muscles disappeared,” she told them with a sly smile on her face.

Everyone became quiet when little James began to cry, “Someone is hungry,” Leigh said taking him back from Valerie’s hands.

“He’s not the only one,” Howie said as he looked at his watch. “Let’s go eat,” he told them. “You’ll have to cook for us another day Val.” He told her winking at her.

*********

He watched Valerie play with her salad, “How’s the salad?” AJ asked her startling her.

“Its good,” she told him finally taking some in her mouth. She fought the urge to throw it back out. She quickly took a drink of her water and smiled at AJ. “How’s your food?”

“Good want to try?” he asked her looking at her with concern.

“No I’m good. I officially turned Vegetarian.” She told him as she forced another fork full of her salad down her mouth.

“You a vegetarian?” Howie asked Val giving her a curious look.

“No I was just pulling AJ’s leg,” she told Howie rolling her eyes at him. “I’m just trying to add more green to my meals.”

“Whatever, when will I get my rematch…” AJ asked trying to change the conversation. The truth was she was either trying to fool everyone or something because this wasn’t the first time he had caught her pretend to eat but not really eat.

“Whenever you are ready to loose,” she told him.

************

“Thanks for the ride,” Valerie said as she unbuckled her seat belt. “Howie and Leigh looked pretty tired. I guess I have a lot of unpacking to do,” she told him.

“Want company?” AJ asked her.

“Uhm, sure…” she told him giving him a smile.

“Yeah? Let me park then,” he told her.

Valerie waited patiently in the lobby of her apartments; she smiled when she saw him appear. “About time,” she told him playing.

“I need to smoke,” AJ said as he walked up to her.

“Ooh that does sound good…” she told him smiling. “We can smoke in my patio, looking into the city.”

“Deal,” he said as he pushed the button to the elevator. “So you do like your new place?”

“Yes I love it,” she told him excitedly. “Howie is my hero.”

He laughed at her comment, “What am I?” he asked her as they entered the elevator.

“You’re my best friends bitch,” she told him in a serious tone… but wasn’t able to hold her laughter… “Just kidding you’re a really cool friend I feel comfortable around you. I think we will be better friends now that we are hanging out together.”

He didn’t find her joke very amusing but that was Valerie for you. “You’re not funny,” he told her as they got off the elevator.

“Awe I’m sorry AJ I was just messing with you, you can always do the same to me. We’re friends right?” she asked him as they stopped in front of her door.

He looked at her with a serious look and then he smiled, “Yes Val I know you were playing,” he told her as he leaned in and hugged her.

She was a little surprised with the hug, and then she screamed as he poked her side. “Shit AJ don’t you dare tickle me,” she said slapping his arm slightly. You might loose your finger in all my fat….than what would we do with a fingerless backstreet boy. The fans will kill me.”

AJ rolled his eyes at her, “Whatever Vals” he said poking at her again making her scream.

“Stop AJ,” she told him laughing struggling to open her door.

********

“Hello?” Valerie said into her phone.

“Hey Val,” Russell said.

“Yeah ok, just I’ll call you later tonight. I already have plans right now.” She told him as she smiled. Russell was inviting her out.

“Ok I will is this your number?” she asked him as she looked around making sure AJ was still in the restroom.

“Yeah I had fun. I will call you later,” she told him as she hung up and bumped right into AJ.

“I have a feeling you like me to bump into you,” he told her giving her a sly smile. “Who was that Howie?”

“No it’s a friend from work,” she told him and then smiled. “So are we having this rematch or what?”

*********

Three hours later Valerie was trying to find away to leave AJ’s house. Again she had won, “Man I’m tired,” she told him yawning it was a fake yawn.

“Well I can take you home,” he told her as he sat beside her.

“No its fine you look tired too, I’ll take a cab.” She stood up and grabbed her purse.

“Val,” AJ said as he stood up and grabbed her arm. “Your going to see that guy from last night aren’t you?” he asked trying not to sound disappointed.

“No? I really am going home,” she told him giving him a smile.

He sneered at her and then spoke again, “Yeah you can’t be sleek Val I know the whole routine I use to pull that on my friends too. So is it serious what you and this guy have?”

“I don’t know I’m sorry AJ I have to go. We can hang out sometime next week ok?” she told him giving him a peck on the cheek. “Don’t tell me now your taking the brother roll since Howie is to busy with little James to be interrogating me?” she asked him as she reapplied some lip gloss on.

“Just be careful ok,” he told her. Why was he getting mad at her she had every right to date who ever she wanted?

“Ugh,” Valerie moaned as she opened hers eyes. The sun had woken her up hitting her eyes.

“Good morning,” Russell said as he yawned and stretched.

Suddenly Valerie was wide awake and was staring at Dr. Bates who was lying beside her in her room! “Holy poo on toast,” she said softly realizing she was naked underneath the thin sheet.

“Are you ok?” Russell asked as he kissed her bare shoulder.

“What happened?” she asked him as she stood up with the sheet around her. “Fuck,” she muttered as she ran into her bathroom. She didn’t remember anything from the night before. She was startled by the knock on her door, “Yeah?” she said staring at the door.

“Val are you ok? Did I do something wrong?” Russell asked her.

She sighed and spoke, “No I’m fine I just felt a little awkward being naked around you…” she said being half honest with her response.

“You shouldn’t your beautiful,” he said as he attempted to open the door. He smiled as he was successful and the door opened. “What’s wrong?” he asked her as he went toward and wiped away her tears.

She stepped away from him and cleared her throat, “I can’t do this can you please go?” she told him as she held to the bed sheet around her body. “I just need time, I’m sorry I think you’re a great guy but I need time.” Valerie said as she walked out of the bathroom.

She sat on her bed watching Russell pick up his clothes and after changing he looked at her, “I had a great time last time, I hope you can accept it and we could be more than just co-workers. I’m sorry if I have upset you in anyway that was not my intention,” he told her as he opened the door to her room. “I’ll see you at work tonight right?”

She looked down and then she spoke, “I’m sorry and you have done nothing wrong. I will see you there and we will talk ok?” she told him.

********

“Thank you,” Valerie told the pharmacist as she took the pill. She didn’t want to take any risks after not remembering what exactly had happened. This would a least assure her of not getting knocked up, “hello,” she said to her phone as she saw who was calling her.

“Hey are you busy?” he asked her.

“No I was just shopping,” she told him as she exited the Walgreens. “What’s up?”

“Well Nick wanted to know if you wanted to joins at his house for a cookout.” He said as he ran to little James crib. “What do say?” he asked her as he grabbed his baby and began to rock him.

“I have to work tonight,” Valerie told him. “I don’t think I can.”

“Oh whatever just take your scrubs with you and you can change there. I will drive you to work or Leigh. Come on its going to be fun,” he told her. “Wait even better I’ll pick you up in an hour,” he told her hanging up on her before she could protest.

She sighed heavily and realized she should hurry. “I can’t believe he still thinks he can do that choose what I can do,” she said in frustration. Suddenly she was furious at her and everyone. What was she going to do now; she was going to feel very awkward with Russell. Could she even see him as more than friends? How could she not know this was bound to happen when she allowed him to kiss her before?

********

She grabbed her bag and walked out of her apartment, “I will be alright,” she told herself as she walked out the lobby and into Howie’s car. “Hey,” she told both Leigh and Howie. “Hey munchkin,” she told the little baby in the car seat beside her.

“He just fell asleep,” Leigh told her as she turned to look at her. “You ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine why?” she asked her giving her best smile.

“You look different today…I don’t know but it’s a good thing,” Leigh told her as she turned back to face the front. “Your going to like Nick’s house…it’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah? I can’t wait,” she said as she stared out of the window. “How long is the ride over there?”

“Half hour to forty five minutes,” Howie told her as he smiled at her through his rearview mirror.

“Wake me up when we are there,” she told them yawning. Sleep was the best way to keep from making conversation with them. She was just not in the mood to talk she had a big dilemma to solve as it was.

*******

Valerie put on her sunglasses as she stared out into the ocean, “Ok seriously consider me as the fifth Backstreet boy,” she told Howie as she stood by him. He looked in trance as he stared out into the ocean, “Do you miss Orlando?” she asked him.

“Yeah sometimes I do but I can go anytime I want I just need to make the time,” he told her as he smiled at her. “So how is your internship going?”

“Good, I actually get to treat people and diagnose of course with Russell by my side,” she told him biting her tongue when she realized she had used Dr. Bates name.

“Russell?” Howie said arching his brow at her. “Since when did you start calling him by his first name?”

She shrugged her shoulders and sighed, “It just happened he’s actually a really cool guy.” She bit her lip as she saw the look on Howie, “He is not involved with anyone Howie he’s in a middle of a divorce. You know I wouldn’t do anything stupid quit making me feel guilty,” she told him slapping his arm slightly.

“Hey I didn’t say anything you’re the one thinking that I am thinking that way.” Howie told her as he patted her arm. “Just I know how easy it is for you to fall and how hard it is for you to forget. Be careful ok?”

“Thanks it’s been noted I won’t screw up.” She told him as she smiled when she saw AJ walking toward them. “Hey looser you finally made it,” she told him happy that he was coming so Howie wouldn’t continue to ask her questions.

“I’m no looser I was being a gentleman so I let you win,” he told her as he joined her and Howie.

“You beat him again?” Howie asked her laughing at AJ.

“I sure did,” Valerie said with a grin on her face. “Just admit it AJ I am better than you at Pool.”

“Hey Food is ready,” Nick said as he called them over. “So what are we laughing at?” he asked Howie, Valerie and AJ as they approached him.

“At AJ cause he can’t accept that I can beat his ass in pool.” She told Nick as she looked at the food. She suddenly felt nauseous; she hadn't had real food in a while mostly it had been just salads. How was she going to pull this off, “Do you have salad?” she asked Nick.

“What? No you have to eat meat,” Nick said as he gave her a goofy grin, “I cooked it myself…”

“Oh hell then lets order take out,” AJ said teasing Nick.

*******

She had had enough of the picking on the chicken and she just couldn’t swallow it. She had barely eaten the side salad when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She smiled as she saw AJ standing there, “Hey you know I was messing with you earlier right?”

“Yeah I know,” AJ told her as he looked at her plate, “You didn’t eat your food?”

“Uh, well I’m not that hungry really I had a big breakfast,” she lied as she looked at her plate. “I’ll take it to eat at work,” she told him.

“Val you can count on me,” he whispered to her as he took the plate away from her. “I hate to say this but I honestly have caught you not eating. I can see better because I once hid something similar per say to my friends and family too. I won’t pressure you to tell me but just remember I’m here,” he told her. “So how was your date?” he asked her trying to change the conversation.

“Uhm good,” she said looking up at him. “I like him he’s good I don’t know if he really likes me though… I mean I’m no girlfriend material especially here in LA.”

“What? You are a great girl with a great personality your real,” he told her as he smiled at her. “I’m sure he is head over heels for you, I mean I did catch the smooch the other night between the two of you.”

“Oh my god,” she said blushing as she heard him confess he had seen the kiss between her and Russell.

*******

“Thanks for bringing me to work,” Valerie told AJ as she opened the door. “Thanks for the talk earlier and I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell Howie any of it please? Just not yet please.”

“I won’t you can trust me and know that you can talk to me about anything,” he told her as he handed her the lunch bag with her food. “Make sure you eat this ok?” he told her.

“I will don’t worry,” she told him as she kissed his cheek and walked away. She could feel the weird feeling in her stomach she was about to face Russell. The thing was she didn’t know what to make of the situation.

“Yes?” Valerie said as she walked into Dr. Bates office.

“Come in and shut the door please.” Russell said as he stood from his chair.

Valerie hesitantly closed the door and sighed, “Ok,” she then still held the knob of the door just in case she needed to run.

“Are you going to ignore me all night?” he asked her.

“No but Dr. Sander’s from Neonatal had a very interesting case with a newborn so I went to see if I can assist. It was really a good experience for me.” Valerie said letting go of the doorknob and walking toward Russell. “What happened last night?”

“Well you made it to the bar we were talking and having a good time. The next thing I know is you kissed me and then things get a little blurry for me too…All I remember is waking up beside you…” he told her smiling at her. “I thought it was great,” he told her caressing her cheek.

“I don’t think I am ready for a relationship Russell or to even date anyone. I don’t know exactly what happened to me, but what I did is totally out of my character. I think your handsome yes but why do you like me? You don’t even know me…” she told him taking his hand off her cheek.

“I know enough to know there is more to you than what you show. I want to get to know you Val, we can take it slow. I don’t know what happened either but I feel that you can be more to me than a friend to me. I want a person just as passionate in the medical field as I am. That will understand if I don’t come home early it’s because I was saving lives.” He told her as he looked at her straight in the eyes.

Was he joking? That was going through Valerie’s mind as she heard him express himself very well. Maybe it was time to let go of Raul and maybe god was telling her that Dr. Bates was better. For a fact he was more mature than Raul, “I just don’t want to put your hopes up Russell,” she told him giving him a warm smile.

“I’ll take what you give me, slow is good.” He told her leaning in and giving her a peck.

She closed her eyes and allowed him to kiss her, his kisses were very sensual. She did like his kisses and even though she didn’t remember the night before. Maybe he was good in that department too, “Ok we can try.”

“Yeah? Good…but we must keep this between us if not they will fire us. This is between us for now Valerie and if it gets serious than we will find a way to break the news to everyone else especially the chief.” He told her as her kissed her hand.

********

It was midday and she felt like crap. She had just gotten out of the shower and felt somewhat relieved. After a very intense two hour running in the treadmill she had taken a shower. She looked at herself in the mirror and made a face of shame. It seemed like all the fasting she had done and exercise had done nothing. She still looked like a cow. She still had the gut and her arms where unbearable. “Maybe just another month of fasting, will help.” She told herself as she put on some clothes. She new what starving herself would do but she had it under control, she just needed to loose some weight then she would go back to eating but healthy. She sighed as she remembered AJ being concerned about her not eating. Maybe she could eat well in front of them and then throw it up later? She had to find away. If not then maybe it was time to consider the lapband.

She sighed in frustration as she heard the knock on her door, “Oh wow these are for me?” she asked the delivery man.

“Yes ma’am can I have you sign here,” he told her.

She closed the door as she looked at the vase of flowers. “These are gorgeous who sent them?” she took the little card and read it…

Val,

You won’t regret giving me a chance. I hope you like the calla lilies, I will see you tonight.

Russell

She bit her lip as she realized what she had done. She was officially dating Russell, but something was still not right? Why was he wooing her yet no one could know about it? “I hope I did the right thing,” she told herself as she placed her flowers in the center table. Truth be told she did like the sudden attention on her from such prestigious Doctor.

**********

She looked at the dress one more time; she hated to shop in stores for big girls. When would she be able to shop in the normal stores? The dress was nice and maybe on someone else it would look good but on her it just didn’t work. “Never mind,” she said as she put the dress back on the rack.

“Why don’t you try it on?” the clerk told her giving her smile. “The dress will accentuate your Latin curves, you’re gorgeous. Look at your beautiful big eyes you should try it in red,” she told her. “Come on it won’t hurt.”

“No its ok I don’t have anywhere special to wear at anyways.” Valerie told the nice clerk.

“Nonsense you never know when you might need it. Come on just try it on,” she skimmed through the rack, “I think this one will fit size 16.” She gave her a smile.

“No I’m actually an 18-20,” Valerie told her blushing at her.

“No I am known to guess my sizes right,” she told her handing her the dress.

“Ok but bring an 18 along just cause I know I won’t fit in this one.” Valerie told her.

*******

“Yeah I’m just doing a little shopping ok meet me here,” AJ told his friend Chris as he exited a shoe store. He looked across where he was to a store and smiled as he recognized Valerie in it. “What is she doing here?” he said as he began to walk to Torrid.

“Hello sir how can I help you?” the clerk greeted the man.

“Well I was looking for my friend I saw her in here just a minute ago.” He looked around the store.

“Oh you mean the young lady that was hesitant to try on a dress? She’s in a dressing room do you want me to let her know you’re here?” she asked him.

“No it’s fine, may I?” he asked pointing toward the dressing rooms.

The clerk eyed him debating on if she should allow him in or not. “Ok just go down there,” she told him pointing him toward the dressing rooms. No one else was in there anyway.

AJ smiled as he walked toward the dressing rooms he almost gave himself out when he heard her cursing away.

“I can’t fuck believe I let that lady convince me to try this dress. I’m going to look like a fucking cow in a red dress,” Valerie told herself as she tried on the dress. She didn’t want to even try the size 16 because she knew it would only cause her disappointment. Yet there she was trying it on, to her surprise it fit just right. Had her fasting worked after all? “You got to fucking be kidding me, it fits.” She opened the door; she wanted to see herself on the mirrors just outside the dressing rooms.

“Wow you look nice,” AJ said as he saw her walk out with the red dress.

“Fuck AJ what the hell are you doing here,” Valerie said as she turned to go back into her dressing room.

“Val wait,” AJ said running toward her beating her to the dressing room. “Go look it looks good it shows off all your curves. I like it,” AJ told her making her turn around toward the mirrors.

She sighed and hesitantly walked toward the mirrors, she cringed as she looked at herself. “I can see all my gut,” she said out loud as she stared at herself. “It’s not me,” she said turning only to be faced with AJ right behind her.

“Your not seeing right,” he told her turning her around and taking the clip holding her hair up off. He smiled as the smell of her shampoo hit his nose, “there,” he said as he smoothed her hair. “With your hair down it looks better.”

“I don’t know? I won’t even wear it AJ it will just be stuck in my closet. I have no where nice to take this too.” She told him taking her clip back and putting hair up again.

“Yes you will your going with me to this awesome club where many famous people hang out. I will not take no for an answer,” he told her as he finally allowed her to go back into the dressing room.

“Right when is this going to happen?” she asked him as she closed the door to the dressing room.

“This weekend, I’ll pick you up around six.” He told her as he waited for her to get dressed.

“Wait a second how did you know I was here and even better what the hell are you doing here?” she asked as she finished putting on her clothes.

“I was here shopping when I saw you in here so I came in. I’m glad I did if not you wouldn’t have bought such a gorgeous dress.” He told her as he smiled at her; she had just come back out of the dressing room.

*********

“Chris this is Valerie,” AJ told Chris as they sat.

“Nice to meet you,” Chris told Valerie as he gave her a smile.

“Yeah like wise, so Chris do you have any juicy news or things I don’t know about the looser here?” she asked him.

“No not really he has been behaving so far,” he told her. “How long have you known AJ anyway?”

“Man like forever, him and Howie used to hang around a lot with my sister Sandy. But me as the baby sister always tagged along till I was part of there little group. Of course I’m the youngest and the most normal of them all. I was there when the Backstreet boys were nothing more than five little boys singing wherever they got a chance too.” She told him.

“Wow so you go way back,” Chris said as he looked through his menu.

“Yeah but I was more Howie’s friend. But AJ was always there we actually didn’t like each other much did we?” she turned to see AJ.

“No not really because you would always threaten me to tell Becky about my infatuation toward her.” AJ told her rolling his eyes.

Valerie began to laugh, “Yeah I remember that,” she said as she stood up. “I’ll be right back, if the waiter comes just order me a water and a salad no dressing.” She told AJ as she walked away.

Chris smiled at AJ and cleared his throat, “You like her don’t you?” he asked.

“No I don’t your seeing things man,” AJ scolded Chris. “I am telling we’re just friends.”

“Well friends you might be but there’s something in the way you look at her…” he said grinning at his friend. “She’s not that bad AJ; she’s a little big but in the right places dude.”

AJ rolled his eyes and spoke, “Chris please stop that ok.”

“So then can I ask her out,” he said teasing him.

“Good luck buddy she is already involved with some doctor.” He told Chris with a warning stare.

She kissed him back and smiled when she saw his grin his blue eyes staring at her. “Do you want to do something tomorrow?” Russell asked her as he wiped his lips. He didn’t want anyone to see the lipstick on his lips.

“I can’t I have plans with some friends,” Valerie told him looking down to the floor. “I had done them since way before you and I…” she told him finally looking at him.

“Well cancel then,” he told her caressing her cheek.

“I can’t they are like my family…why don’t you join us?” she told him giving him a smile. He had been so attentive and maybe it was ok to date him.

“I don’t know Val; I mean we said we would keep our relationship a secret.” Russell told her nervously, moving away from her when a nurse passed by.

“Oh I thought that was here in the hospital,” Val told him hurt. “Well then maybe it’s better to end this, I tell my friends everything.” She lied she knew well that the only person who knew anything was AJ and because she was happy to share that with him.

“I better get going, see you tomorrow Dr. Bates.” She told him leaving before he could say anything else.

********

She had ignored Russell all day at the hospital, she was hurt and mad. Why didn’t he want to meet her friends, “If he only knew who my friends were and where we are going?” She told herself as she finished her smoke.

“Do you have one I can have?” Stacy asked as she leaned on the brick wall right beside Valerie.

“Yeah sure you smoke?” she asked her. Stacy was an intern from last year and was now a resident in Cardiology department she wasn’t up there like Dr. Hunn but she was getting there with his supervision.

“Yes of course, so you’re with Dr. Bates right?” she asked her as she exhaled the first puff of smoke.

“Yeah,” she told her nodding as well.

“I use to be his intern when I first got my internship here in Cedars but I asked to be transferred to someone else.” She turned to face her, “He was so nice to me and asked me to date him, and then one day I woke up with him in my bed. I never recall agreeing to sleeping with him for one I don’t date men. But I never got enough proof on him about having something to with me not remembering anything. He’s married too you know? He says he’s getting a divorce but that is all bull, his wife is never here she is always traveling doing Doctors without borders. I found out when she showed up once here and kissed him passionately in front of me,” she finished.

Valerie couldn’t even speak as she heard Stacy. She wiped her tears and smiled at her, “He’s such a jerk how can he do that to his wife?” she didn’t dare share with her that she had already experienced that with him.

“Don’t tell me he already…” Stacy stopped talking as she saw the look on Valerie’s face. “I’m sorry I should have opened my mouth sooner.”

“Val,” Russell said as he found her and Stacy smoking. “Can I talk to you?” he said ignoring Stacy. “It’s about a patient.”

“I’m done see you around Valerie,” Stacy said as she bumped into Russell hard and not caring to apologize.

Valerie sighed heavily and looked at him, “What is it Dr. Bates,” she told him going for another cigarette.

“I’m sorry about yesterday I just…” he stopped talking when he saw her face she wasn’t even paying attention. “What did Stacy tell you? She hates me you know? Don’t believe everything you hear.”

“It doesn’t matter Russell I don’t care I simply don’t have time for you or this type of shit. What I don’t understand is how you do that to your wife. Don’t get near me and stay away because if you don’t it won’t turn out like with Stacy. I will bring you down,” she told him with anger. “Now if you’ll excuse I have a transfer script to fill out.”

********

“Hello,” AJ answered his phone seeing who it was. “Are you getting ready for tonight?”

“Actually AJ that is why I was calling I won’t be able to go. I am not feeling to well I think I am catching a cold,” Valerie said as she tried to hold the tears.

“I’m on my way,” AJ said hanging up on her.

“Fuck no AJ don’t come,” she said as she went to the restroom to wash her face. She definitely did not want him to see her and see that she had been crying.

No sooner had she put on some jeans and a shirt when there was the buzzer, she buzzed him in and looked around to make sure it wasn’t messy. The vase of Calla lilies was no longer in the center table but in the trash. She sighed as she heard the light knock; she sighed one more time and opened the door. “You didn’t have to…” she stopped talking when she felt his hand on her forehead.

“What of course I did you took good care of me when I cut my hand. That’s what friends do,” he told her. “But you look fine to me, just tell me what really is going on.” he grabbed her hand and squeezed, “You can trust me,” he told her.

*********

“I’m ready,” Valerie said as she walked in on AJ. He was applying his eyeliner on, “here allow me,” she told him as he turned to look at her.

“Nice I like the dress, hot definitely hot.” He told her handing her the eyeliner. “I’m glad I brought my clothes with me. I promise you will have a great time and you will forget that Fucker,” he said anger apparent in his voice. “He doesn’t know what he has lost.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking, I should’ve known better. I am not meant to have a good relationship. But no I had to go there,” she told him as she began to apply the eyeliner on. “Maybe I should paint my nails black too,” she told him as she went to do the other eye.

“You smell good,” he told her. He was so close to her he couldn’t help but smell her.

“Thank you, you smell good too…” she told him as she wiped his eye a little. “There done,” she put the eyeliner on the counter and sighed. “I like your new style the eyeliner brings your eyes out.”

“Thanks,” he told her as he removed a strand of hair from her face. “You’ll be fine and if you feel like you can’t stand to be there just give me a wink. We will be out of there like lightning.”

“Who else is going?” Valerie asked as she looked at herself in the mirror making a face. “God can’t I just wear some nice pants and dressy shirt?”

“What? No, you look fine like that.” he told her pushing her out of her restroom. “Let’s go Nick is probably there and Chris.”

“Am I going to be the only girl there?” she asked stopping all of a sudden, making AJ bump into her. She struggled not to fall and grabbed onto AJ, “Seriously this has got to stop I am always making you carry my fat ass…” she told him as she finally got her balance back.

He smiled at her, “what did I say? Don’t talk about yourself like that when I am around,” he told her.

**********

“Hey Val I didn’t know you were coming,” Nick told her as he finally decided it was ok to greet her like all the other guys. “You look nice,” he told her as he hugged her and gave her a friendly peck on the cheek.

“Thanks not as hot as you…” she told him as she looked at his companion.

“Oh right,” Nick said pointing to his date. “This is Melissa,” he told Valerie.

Valerie extended her hand and smiled at the young girl, “Hi I’m Valerie but my friends call me Val,” she told Melissa. She felt relieved to see her smile at her.

“Hey Val,” Chris said as he came back with a couple of drinks. He handed AJ a coke and then he gave her a hug. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked her.

“Uhm yeah its ok I’ll go get one, I need to breathe…” she told him as she left the VIP area and walked toward the bar. She felt a tap and smiled widely when she saw Howie beside her, “what are you doing here?” she asked him as she gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“It’s my night off from James,” he told her. “I’m glad AJ invited you, that way I can have a dancing partner.”

“So no Leigh huh?” she told him as she made it to the bar. “Long island please,” she told the bartender.

“So you and AJ are getting along quite well nothing like in the old days…” Howie said as he stared at her. “You look nice by the way…you did loose weight Val.” He winked at her as he ordered himself a beer.

“Please Howie don’t start. AJ is not going to ever look at me that way and I am not ready for another relationship yet. We are just good friends since now you changed me for your wife and child. Which I am not complaining I am happy you found someone.” She told him as she received her drink.

“I guess but just to let you know AJ is not like he used to be…so you never know with him. Besides Val you’re gorgeous and that dress is wow…” he said as he took a drink of his beer. “Well if not AJ I am sure you are bound to find someone here tonight.”

“Yeah yeah whatever,” she told him as they began to walk back up to where everyone else sat. She felt a little disappointed when she saw some girl all over AJ and he didn’t look upset about it. “Lets dance?” she told Howie realizing that she did not want to be there watching that girl flirting with AJ like that.

*******

She was ready to go home and she smiled as she saw that so was everyone else. “You didn’t danced once with me,” AJ told her into her ear. “I am very offended,” he told her.

“Well I didn’t want to interrupt your conversation with her,” she pointed toward the girl who was now chatting away with Howie.

“Oh my god I was dying, I was hoping someone would go up to us so I could get away. Poor Howie,” he said giggling into her ear. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah but lets save my friend from this one,” she told him as she began to walk toward Howie. “Yo Howie vámonos,” she told him extending her hand to him.

Howie smiled with relief and stood up, “Well its nice meeting you but we are leaving.”

“You’re welcome,” she told him as she continued to pull him with her.

“Yes thanks I owe you one,” he told her as they finally made it to where the rest of the group waited. “Where’s Nick?”

AJ started laughing, “Dude he left a while ago with his significant other,” he said.

“Man I guess I did have a beer to many,” Howie said as he looked at his watch. “I guess I should head home, need a ride?” he asked Valerie.

“Uhm yeah why not,” she told him as she looked at AJ. “I live closer to him that way you won’t go out of your way ok?”

“I don’t mind Val I still have to go pick up my stuff from there,” he said with a sad tone.

“Well I must go see you tomorrow,” Chris said pointing to AJ. “Val nice seeing you and in case I haven’t told you, you look nice.” With that he walked away leaving them there.

“Well that’s fine take her home J, I’m pretty tired anyways. Later,” he told Val as he hugged her.

“Night Howie,” Val said as she watched him walk away. “Well let’s got then,” she turned to face AJ.

“Ok let’s go,” he said taking her hand in his.

She felt a little awkward but she did not pull away instead she smiled.

AJ smiled as he opened his eyes and realized where he was. “Val?” he asked when he realized she was not in bed. He sighed as he heard the shower going, “I should go,” he told himself as he realized he had slept with the same clothes from last night. He tried to smooth out his pants since they were very wrinkled.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Val said as she came into the room dressed and showered. “You might want to wash your face the eyeliner is yeah…” she smiled as she looked at him.

“Good morning by the way,” AJ said as he walked out and into the restroom.

“Yes good morning,” she yelled as she turned on the radio and smiled she heard the song on. She began to brushing her hair and began to sing forgetting she had someone there…

Stars shining bright above you
night breezes seem to whisper

I love you
Birds singin' in the sycamore tree

Dream a little dream of me.
Say "nighty night" and kiss me

Just hold me tight and tell me

You’ll miss me.
While I'm alone and blue as can be

Dream a little dream of me.


She blushed when she saw AJ staring at her with a smirk, “Crap I totally forgot you were here,” she told him throwing him her towel. “I know I am not the best singer stop looking at me like that.” she told him rolling her eyes and turning off the radio.

“Now I didn’t say that, I liked it…” he said as walked toward handing her the towel. “I just didn’t expect you to like The Mamas and The Pappas,” he said taking a seat on the bed.

“What they were the best and Mama Cass was like awesome she didn’t care about her looks, I wish I could be like that too…” she told him.

“Rumor has it she choked on a piece of sandwich and that’s how she died.” AJ said staring at her she had some really tight jeans.

“So not true, that’s a lie… read her biography.” She told him as she took his hand and pulled him up. “I have to make the bed,” she told him.

He smiled wider as he watched her make the bed, “So how about we go to my house and have breakfast? I need to change I feel icky in this, I mean look at you so squeaky clean.” He told her as he handed her a pillow that had somehow been on the floor.

“Well you may feel icky but you don’t look icky,” she told him as she looked at the bed making sure she had done a good job.

“So you like me now?” he said smirking at her. He laughed as he saw her blush, “Oh I made you blush.”

“I never said I didn’t like you we just didn’t get along back in the day. You were immature back then I think you have done a 360 since then,” she told him patting his shoulder. “Now let’s go before I change my mind…”

**********

“So you are you still going to deny that you don’t like Valerie?” Chris asked his friend AJ as he took a seat next to him.

“It’s not like that Chris. I just don’t know…I like her I do she’s an awesome girl and she curses more than me sometimes. She is great but I don’t think I can ever be more than her friend, I have a feeling at the end if we had any other type of relationship she would end up getting hurt.” He told his friend finally sharing his fear with him.

“Why do you say that?” Chris said giving AJ his sole attention.

“Well she is definitely not like all the other women I’ve dated. I have a feeling she will be put through a lot of criticism and I just don’t think she could handle it. I haven’t told anyone this but I think she has an eating disorder. She doesn’t eat and I know she knows I know I just don’t know Chris. Maybe it will also affect my career as well the rest of the guys…you know how cruel the media can be.” He sighed heavily and took out a cigarette.

Chris watched his friend light the cigarette and smiled, “well do you really care what other people think? I mean you can’t please everyone.”

“Hell I don’t give a shit what other people think but what about her? She might and I don’t think I could handle her breaking up with me for it. I don’t even know if she likes me like that; I mean she was quick to date that doctor who by the way is a fucking prick.” He said remembering what Val had told him about Dr. Bates. “That’s why I had Marcus pay him a visit.” He smiled evilly as he remembered the call he had made to Marcus about going up to the hospital and giving Dr. Bates a nice lecture.

“Well speaking as a third party with no involvement in your friendship,” Chris said using his fingers to make quotations signs, “I think she has the hots for you too. I saw the way she got mad last night when that girl was all over you.”

*******

After forcing breakfast down her throat at AJ’s house she had gone back home to get ready for work. She just hoped that Dr. Roberts would allow her to transfer to Neonatal with Dr. Sander’s. She walked straight to Dr. Roberts office hoping she could convince she now wanted to change her major. “Hello Dr. Roberts may I come in?” she asked nervously.

“Yes please come in Miss Mendez,” Dr. Roberts said as she looked up from the paperwork on her desk. “I have reviewed your request and I will gladly switch you but I must know what made you change your mind. You seemed so exciting in the ER.”

Valerie smiled at her and after thinking hard she spoke, “I was, then just a few days ago I saw Dr. Sander’s in the ER attending a baby only a week old. I was suddenly the only one available to help and I had the most wonderful experience that did it; it got me thinking that maybe I wanted to be involved with babies.” She gave Dr. Roberts her best smile and tried not to think about the major reason why she had asked for the transfer.

“Yes babies are some miracles,” Dr. Roberts said. “Well Dr. Sander’s is aware of your transfer and she is waiting for you. You know where the Neonatal department is at right?”

“Yes I do thank you so much for allowing me to transfer,” she told her getting up from where she sat.

“You’re a smart woman Miss Mendez; I know that you will succeed. Let’s just hope you don’t change your mind again,” she told her giving her a small smile.

“I won’t I promise,” Valerie said walking out of the office and to the elevators to the third floor her new working grounds. She was almost to the elevators when she heard her name being called. She rolled her eyes as she realized who it was… “Yes Dr. Bates,” she said annoyingly.

“What were you doing in Dr. Robert’s office? Were you telling her about us and Stacy? Cause that won’t work you know she will believe me I have been here longer,” Russell said with anger. “Oh and your little friend that thought he could threaten me, all he did isn’t going to work,” he said pointing at her.

“I honestly wouldn’t waste another minute on you, I was there getting transferred to a different department…and what are you talking about. I didn’t have anyone talk to you? I don’t need anyone to defend me; I have the guts to do it myself. So with that said stay away from me,” she told him just as the elevator opened and she walked into it.

She sighed in relieve when the elevators doors began to close, she gave him the middle finger as he stood there watching her, “Stay away,” she told him before the elevator doors closed completely.

*********

She walked out of the elevator and began to look for her keys, “Fuck where did I put them?” she asked herself.

“You are always loosing your stuff that hasn’t changed,” Sandy said with her arms crossed. “Baby sis, you have to really get one of those little gadgets that when you whistle it will start beeping so you can find you keys in that huge purse of yours.”

“Oh my god Sandy what are you doing here?” she said smiling at her older sister. She ran to her and gave her a hug. “What running away from Javier…did you get cold feet?”

“Loca, I don’t get married till in six months. I came here for the sole purpose of finding the perfect wedding dress and to convince Howie to get the guys to sing at my wedding.” She told her hugging her back.

“Oh good cause I like Javier he’s nice,” she told her as she flashed her the keys. “Found them,” she told her opening the door to her new apartment. “Come on in…I hope you like my new home,” she told her as she turned on the light.

“Yeah I know Howie told me about it and he was here with me but I made him go. I didn’t mind waiting for you alone.” She said looking around the apartment. “You ready to help me pick the bridesmaids dresses? By the way you’re the maid of honor,” she told her pointing at her sister.

“I already told you I was not going to be your maid of honor Sandy, I am too fat. I will just be the embarrassment of you wedding.” Valerie said as she lit a cigarette.

“I am not giving you a choice Val and that’s final you’re my god damn sister! I think I earn this, for you to do this one thing for me…after all you did leave me there and went to study away from home.” Sandy said with anger apparent in her voice.

Valerie saw the hurt in her sister’s eyes, “Alright I go but then I must go into a diet then because I don’t want to look like a cow on your wedding.” She hugged her sister, “you know I love you,” she told her.

“Yes I know and your not fat your just fine Val. It’s seems like you’ve already lost some pounds,” Sandy told her sister. “Oh my god guess who showed up at the house?”

“Who?” Val asked as she put her cigarette out on the ashtray.

“Raul…” Sandy said giving her sister a concern look.

Valerie checked on her sister who was peacefully sleeping in the guest room. She smiled a little knowing that no matter how much Sandy and her fought they always had each other’s back. She put on the earphones and quickly turned on her iPod as she walked out of her apartment. If she was to be forced to wear a bridesmaid she had to force herself to loose more weight. She smiled as she was hit by the rays of sun, she began to walk fast through the busy street and a few blocks later there was the park.

She began in a slow pace not wanting to accelerate her heart rate sooner than needed. “I have to loose this weight if I am ever going to be taken seriously by any man.” She told herself as she began to jog. So maybe she had lost a few pounds and now she was size 16 but that was still not enough.

Half an hour later she was back in the elevator going back to her apartment, she smiled when she saw Howie knocking on her door with Leigh and James as well. “Hey,” she told them removing her earphones.

“Oh my you had a workout didn’t you?” Leigh told her. “You’re all sweaty,” she smiled at her.

“Yeah I must look nice for Sandy’s wedding,” she told her as she stepped around her to open the door to her apartment. “Come on in,” Valerie told them. “Sandy!” she yelled to her sister.

“Relax Val we are in no rush,” Howie told her giving her a peck on the cheek to greet her. “Yeah you need to shower,” he told her giving her a smile.

“Hey Howie,” Sandy said interrupting Val and her mostly likely smart remark for Howie. “Leigh awe and little James,” said Sandy going for the baby. “He’s so adorable,” she told his parents as she began to rock him in her arms.

“Well while you state the obvious about baby James I’m going to go take a nice shower…” Valerie said as she walked away and disappeared into her room.

“Hurry Val cause we are going shopping today with Leigh, Howie is going to take care of James today.” Sandy yelled toward Valerie’s room.

************

“Hey well look who shows up in my house…” AJ said as he helped Howie with the baby’s stuff.

“Yeah well I didn’t want to be home alone with little James. So I thought I come by and see if you wanted to watch a movie or play pool,” Howie said putting sleeping James down.

“Yeah ok, where’s Leigh?” AJ asked as he looked at his watch.

“Shopping with Sandy and Val,” Howie said rolling his eyes. “She had to show Sandy where she could find the best bridesmaids’ dresses and then they were going to see about her dress. Man all this mess for a day…” he said remembering his own wedding day.

“Oh, come on it’s not that bad right? I mean I love shopping too and I always have fun doing it.” AJ said laughing at Howie’s facial expression.

“Wait till you get married then you will tell me I was right,” Howie said looking through AJ’s movie collection.

********

“You have to be happy I picked fuchsia instead of lilac,” Sandy told her sister who was pretty annoyed by the time they were heading home.

“It’s your wedding Sandy; I just can’t believe we have been out all day. Yet we have not found a wedding dress…” Valerie said looking out of the car.

“Well we have the bridesmaid’s dresses that’s a plus,” Leigh said as she parked. “Well we are here,” she said looking at both of the women.

“Are you going to come in?” Sandy asked Leigh.

“No I have to head home I miss my baby.” Leigh said leaning over giving both a warm hug and kiss. “When is your next day off Val so we can plan to go shopping again?”

“Oh no I’m done we found my dress you and Sandy can go alone to find her dress,” Valerie said pointing to her sister. “Yeah all this is making me think twice about marriage. Nope you two are on your own for the wedding dress.”

Sandy began to laugh, “That’s only because you aren’t in love yet. We’ll see when you are there right Leigh?”

“Yep well then I guess I’ll call you and tell you when we will go looking for your dress ok?” she told Sandy.

“Ok be careful on your way home ok?” Sandy told Leigh as she and Val stepped out of the car.

***********

“What is your problem?” Sandy asked Valerie once inside her apartment.

“Nothing I’m just a little tired,” Valerie said lighting up a cigarette.

“No that’s BS Val, you are so self centered. How rude of you to say that to Leigh. I mean she is being so nice to us,” Sandy said looking at her sister angrily.

“What? I was just being honest we saw millions of wedding dresses and yet none were suitable for you, your highness. What do you expect for me not to get annoyed? Why would I even put up with another day of torture? You are the only one taking this to another level Sandy she was fine.” Valerie said rolling her eyes at Sandy. She walked to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water.

“Your pissed aren’t you? That for once it’s about me and not you aren’t you?” Sandy said angry as she followed her sister.

“What the fuck Sandy? It has never been about me? What are you like ten? Look I am very happy that you are getting married that you are marrying your high school sweetheart, but don’t try to say that this is me being jealous of you? I am not jealous of you Sandy you are my sister… Even if you do give me many reasons to be angry at you!” she told her sister forgetting why she was in the kitchen she began to walk to her room.

“I knew you always hated me…” Sandy said following her.

“I never hated you Sandy… I wished you would understand that. I was clinically depressed back then. I was mad because you were pretty, skinny, and popular what I wasn’t but I never hated you!” Val said grabbing her purse and walking to the door.

“Yeah why does it feel like you’re still clinically depressed…” Sandy told her still following her.

“You know what just relax and I will pretend this argument never happened.” Valerie said walking out of her apartment.

“Where are you going?” Sandy asked Valerie following her to the hall.

“Don’t worry about it Sandy and don’t wait up,” Valerie said disappearing inside the elevator.

********

“Alright man well see you in the studio Wednesday then.” AJ told Howie as he helped him put little James in his car.

“Ok yeah, I am going home and just knocking out. Later…” Howie said getting in his driving away.

AJ smiled as he saw his friend disappear down the street. He walked in and instantly got what he had been craving but hadn't done because of little James. He lit the cigarette and quickly finished it, he was about to call it a night when the knocking on his door stopped him. “Who could it be? Maybe Howie forgot something,” he looked around but did not see anything left behind. He walked to his door and looking through the peephole he gasped.

“Hey can I come in?” Valerie said giving AJ a smile.

“Val,” AJ said staring at her.

**********

“Howie?” Leigh asked but was not surprised to find that Howie was not home. She smiled as she heard his car pull up.

A few minutes later in came Howie with James, “Hey you’re here already?” Howie asked kissing his wife.

“Yeah we didn’t find the “The Dress”” she said. “We made plans to go another day. Where were you?” Leigh asked as she took James out of the carriage.

“At AJ’s we watched a movie and chilled. Little James behaved superb not bugging us much.” Howie said kissing his sons forehead.

“Come on lets go to bed I’m tired.” Leigh told Howie.

“Great idea,” Howie told her as they both went to get ready for bed.

“Hey? Weren’t you shopping with your sister and Leigh?” AJ asked Valerie who stood at his front door. “Man you just missed Howie,” he said allowing her to come in. He stopped smiling when he saw her tears, “What’s wrong Val?” he went up to her and without warning hugged her.
Valerie fell into his embrace; it brought her the memories of the other night when he had stayed to sleep at her house. “I hate myself so much AJ. I just got into a huge argument with my sister and now she’s throwing things from my past back at me. She thinks I hate her and that am jealous of her! I am not I am very happy for her I am.” She said sobbing now just clinging to him her faced buried in his chest.
“Wow siblings… I am sure Val it’s just the nervousness of the wedding kicking in. I know she loves you just as much as you love her,” He told her rubbing her back as she continued to cry.
“Maybe I should just vanish and never bother my family again. I think that would make everyone happy.” She said in between sobs.
“I wouldn’t, I would go crazy looking for you and I am sure everyone else would. Val just calm down watch by tomorrow everything will be fine.” AJ told her raising her chin so she was looking at him. He gave her a smile and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. “Come on let’s just sit here and talk till we can’t no more,” he told her bringing his lips to her cheek.
Valerie closed her eyes as she felt his lips on her face, “I am glad I have you now…” she told him. She held onto him not wanting him to bring space between them, opening her eyes she looked in to his. “Thank you for being my friend,” she told him and without thinking it twice brought her lips to his. She gave him a small peck but when she saw he didn’t stop her she took his bottom lip with her mouth and before she knew it he was kissing her back.
She moaned softly and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck holding him tightly. AJ took a hold of her waist and walked them backward towards his couch. Without breaking the lip lock he pulled her down next to him. Their kisses became more intense as AJ tangled his fingers in her hair and ran the other up her back. He pushed slightly laying her down on the plush cushion and carefully laid his body over hers. Valerie broke the kiss for a moment to take a breath and looked up at the man leaning over her. She saw something in his eyes. Desire? Lust? She wasn’t quite sure at first. His hand came up and he gently stroked her cheek, staring down in her eyes.
“Val…”
“Yes” she whispered.
“I … you’re so beautiful,” he whispered against her lips before kissing her again.
Her eyes flew open when she felt a hand slide up on her shirt and cup her breast. She pushed against him, struggling to sit up. “Don’t.”
AJ looked at her confused, “what’s wrong baby?”
“Don’t call me that. Don’t say I’m beautiful. I’m not. I’m typical yes but… not beautiful. “
“Valerie,” AJ spoke gently and tilted her head up forcing her eyes to meet his, “you are beautiful. “
She bit her lip and he could see her eyes filling with tears. He leaned forward and brushed his lips across hers.
“Let’s go upstairs and get in bed. We can curl up and you can tell me about the fight okay?”
Valerie nodded and accepted his hand, “Okay.”
AJ smiled warmly and stood her up before leading her up the stairs to the master bedroom.
“Would it be possible for me to borrow a t-shirt?”
“Of course sweetie,” AJ went to his dresser and pulled out a t-shirt for her to change into.
“Thanks,” she smiled and turned to go into the bathroom.
AJ watched her movements, trying to recall a time when he had seen her look so… fragile.
“Honey,” he grabbed her arm gently and turned her around, “I’m sorry if I went too far.”
Valerie shook her head, “You didn’t.” She smiled softly and leaned up kissing him quickly before disappearing into the bathroom.
*******
A Few minutes later she came out blushing as she tugged on the t-shirt. “I don’t think you’ll be able to wear this shirt ever again, I stretched it out…” she told him feeling very embarrassed.

AJ smiled as he saw her she looked good on her a little snug but good, “Val please stop that, it looks fine come here,” he told her standing up from the bed and walking up to her. “You can keep my shirt,” he said kissing her softly on the lips.

Val smiled as she watched him shed his clothes to a wife beater and boxers. What had happened earlier was inexplicable and it felt good. Yet she couldn’t finish what she had started, did AJ like her? No right? He just saw the opportunity to get laid…right? “Do you have a side preference on the bed?” she asked trying not to think to much about the situation earlier.

“No,” AJ said walking back to where she stood. “So tell me what happened,” he told her as he took her hand and pulled toward the bed.

She obliged and took the left side of the bed, lying on the plush bed. “Well I guess I shouldn’t have been so annoyed with this whole shopping thing. But seriously AJ she saw so many fucking dresses and she didn’t like not one! Hell I would have picked the first one…” she said rubbing her temples. “I guess she was just as frustrated because she went off on me too once we got home. I told her I was fine but then she started to bring out my past, she knows well I hate my past. I hate my life period,” she stopped and observed AJ that lay beside her his hand intertwined with hers.

“Val everyone has something in there past they hate and no matter how much we don’t want to bring it up it always finds its way out, I have the same problem. I don’t know exactly what yours is but I know you heard of mine on TV,” he told her kissing her hand.

She smiled as she felt his lips on her hand, “I was clinically depressed AJ…I was on medication because I was even suicidal. I began to vent out on people one of them being Sandy. I just hated the fact that she was popular in school and then she was the one to meet Howie.” She began to laugh.

“What’s so funny,” AJ asked curiously looking at her.

“You know Howie actually dated Sandy at first. It was a one date thing though and then they realized it wasn’t going to work. So they became good friends.” She looked at him and smiled, “Thank you for listening to me, I bet you think I’m crazy. I probably am…”

AJ scooted over to her and kissed her cheek, “I think everyone has a little crazy inside of them if not we wouldn’t be normal,” he told her. “Now stop tormenting yourself with your past and this fight. I know Sandy she is probably feeling guilty already like always. She will apologize and you will still be the maid of honor. Just rest tonight ok?” he told her as he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer to him. He then reached for the lamp turning it off.

Val just sighed as she felt him so close to her and his breath right by her ear, “AJ,” she said softly.

“Mhmm,” AJ said.

“I’m sorry for earlier I shouldn’t have started something I knew I wouldn’t go through with.” She told him turning around to face him. She smiled as she felt his grip on her tighten.

“Val you shouldn’t apologize I allowed it to go further myself. Valerie I don’t know if you haven’t noticed but I like you just like you are…You are beautiful. I would have loved for that to have happened but I want you to feel ok with me. We can always try again if you want…and I promise I won’t be disappointed in your body. On the contrary I like your body; Val you have nice curves you know. Can I tell you a secret?” he told her as he brushed his lips on hers.

“Yeah,” Valerie said a little startled by AJ’s confession. AJ liked her…she felt excitement inside of her.

“I actually am always checking you out when you’re not looking,” AJ said chuckling a little.

Her eyes widened in shock, “Shut up.” She shoved his shoulder and AJ laughed catching her hand in his.

“It’s the truth. I can’t help it.”

Val blushed and broke eye contact, “Oh.”

AJ smiled gently, “Come on. Time to sleep.”

She looked up at him once again before kissing him tentatively, “Night.”

“Good night sweetheart.”

Val turned back around and laid on her side. She felt AJ snuggle up to her back, pressing his strong chest against her. “Age?” she whispered in the dimly lit room.

“Hmm?”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome baby.”

She smiled at the term of endearment and closed her eyes falling into a peaceful sleep, wrapped tightly his arms.

********************

The following morning Valerie slowly woke up blinking away the remains of sleep. She momentarily panicked when she felt the weight of something holding her down. She looked down and saw the familiar tattoos, and she knew she was safe. She snuggled back into the fluffy pillow under her head only to have her eyes pop open a minute later. Her mind replayed the events of the previous night and the little make out session on the couch.

“Oh god!” her mind screamed, “Oh my god! We almost had sex last night!”

Valerie turned her head and saw AJ was still sound asleep. She carefully pulled her body from his, stopping when he stirred behind her. He moaned softly but continued to sleep. She tried moving again and this time was successful. She slid from the bed and padded her way into the bathroom doing her best not to wake the sleeping man.

“Oh man,” she whispered to herself once the bathroom door was shut. She started thinking over the previous night once again and AJ’s words ran through her mind. “You are beautiful.”

She actually blushed at the thought of AJ calling her beautiful. She wasn’t beautiful, not by his normal standards she knew. But there was something in his eyes and his voice, the way he spoke, sounding so sure of himself and how he felt about her. However he was a guy and he could have been just saying it to get her into bed right? No, she knew he wasn’t like that. Or least she hoped he wasn’t.

Val took a deep breath and pushed herself off the closed bathroom door and stepped up to the sink. She quickly brushed her teeth, hoping AJ wouldn’t mind she had borrowed his toothbrush. She splashed some cold water on her face before grabbing a hand towel from the cabinet below the sink. As she dried her face she took in her features. She could freely admit that yes she felt she was a little pretty but she could never get herself to utter the B word about herself.

“You’re beautiful,” AJ’s voice ran through her head. She so badly wanted to believe him.
After finishing in the bathroom, Val slowly opened the door and walked back into bedroom. She found AJ sitting up looking around slightly confused. “Hey,” she whispered.

He smiled when he saw her at the door, “Hey you. Where’d you go? I woke up and you weren’t here in my arms.”

She smiled slightly and stepped to the bed climbing up beside him, “I had to use the bathroom.”

AJ smiled sleepily, “its okay.”

He leaned forward to kiss her good morning but stopped and sat back. Val stared at him with wide eyes. “Damn it. He regrets it,” she mentally scolded herself.

“Hold that thought,” AJ spoke and climbed from the bed, heading to the bathroom.

She heard the faucet running and knew he was doing the same thing she had just done. She smiled to herself and waited for his return. A minute later AJ appeared in the doorway and quickly strode to the bed and climbed back in beside her.

He smiled and guided her mouth to his, “Morning.”

“Morning,” she whispered before he kissed her gently.

*********

“Thanks for the breakfast,” she told AJ not wanting to leave his car. She didn’t want his hand to stop holding hers.

“Hey it was my pleasure,” he said kissing her hand. “Are you going to be ok?” he asked as he looked at her apartment complex.

“Yeah I am sure she is in a better mood by now. Besides I am only going to change for work,” she told him. “I’ll see you later right?”

“Yes, definitely…remember to dress nice. I am taking you out on a date,” he told her finally leaning in and doing what he had been wanting do since he had parked. He kissed her cheek, then her nose, the other cheek and then finally he took her mouth with his.

She kissed him back enjoying his kisses, “your making it harder for me to leave,” she told him finally stopping the kiss. “Later ok,” she told him.

“Ok beautiful,” he said as she walked out of her car. He watched her vanish into the apartment complex, “What have you done AJ? Can she handle this?” he asked worried about her. She was a very sensitive person and a relationship with him was going to put her threw scrutiny with the media and his fans.

“Hey,” Sandy said as she sat up from the couch where she had slept. “Val I’m sorry…” Sandy told her standing up and walking up to her.

Valerie raised her hand to stop her from talking, “No I am sorry for my behavior yesterday it was uncalled for too. It’s just you know me I am not a happy shopper…I will gladly go with you and Leigh to look for the dress,” she smiled to her sister.

Sandy smiled at her sister and then just hugged her, “I’m so sorry for bringing up your past, I know how much you hate to remember that. I was super mad and hurt that you seemed to be annoyed at me and my wedding.”

“Sandy I am very happy for you and that you are getting married, I am. I want you to know that I am a little excited to be the maid of honor,” Val told her sister kissing her forehead.

Sandy chuckled at Valerie’s confession; “Awe, you do love me…” she was happy that for once Valerie was brave enough to share that with her.

“Yeah, yeah whatever I have to get ready for work,” Valerie said walking to her room.

“Wait… you still have to tell me where you were? I was worried sick about you that I called Howie thinking you would’ve gone to his house.” Sandy said walking behind her.

“You what?” Valerie said looking at her sister. “Estas loca Sandra Del Rosario Mendez,” Valerie shouted with a grin on her face. “Why did you that for? I was fine I just stayed in a hotel to clear my head.” She said hiding the truth from her sister.

“Hey what did I say about calling me by my full name? Don’t worry he didn’t answer nor did Leigh.” She told her sister looking at her curiously. “A hotel huh,” she said looking at her closely. “Valeria Patricia Mendez, why are you lying to me? I know you like the palm of my hand…but fine if you don’t want to tell fine.”

“I did not lie,” Valerie said throwing her a pillow from her bed.

“Well when you are ready to tell me the truth I will be in the kitchen making breakfast,” Sandy told her sister throwing the pillow back at her.

“Don’t make any for me I had breakfast already at the hotel,” Valerie told her sticking her tongue out at her.

“Right…whatever.” She heard her sister say from outside the hall. Valerie ran to the door closing it and then ran to her purse; she took out the shirt AJ had given her. “My new sleeping attire,” she whispered as she put it away.

*********

“Your turn,” Chris told AJ as he stood aside.

“I don’t think today will be good day for me,” he said as he swung his golf club. Sure enough he didn’t even hit the ball.

Chris began to laugh at AJ, “So what has you like this now? Let me guess…Valerie. Oh Valerie…” he began to sing to Amy Winehouse.

AJ rolled his eyes, “Lets get out of here today is not a good day. Besides I have a date to plan,” he told Chris as he began to put his stuff away. “Oh and please don’t ever try to sing like that again.”

“What a date?” Chris asked as he followed his friend. “Who is it?”

AJ looked at him and smiled, “Valeeeerrrrriee,” he sang. “That’s how you do it,” He told him walking leaving a smiling Chris staring at him.

“Wait…how did it happen? So she did have the hots for you after all!” Chris asked.

*********

“Yes that’s right. Yes I’ll be out late…I don’t know I’ll call you.” Valerie lied as she spoke to her sister on the phone. She stepped out of the restroom and walked to Dr. Sander’s office. “Doctor is there anything you need from me today?” She gave her new mentor a smile.

“No that’s all for today see you tomorrow same time…” Dr. Sanders told her looking up from her papers.

“Yes tomorrow,” Valerie said walking out and heading for her locker. She had been smart and had brought her other clothes in her tote bag. She headed back to the restroom to change. She hoped he liked what she had chosen for there date…a date that had her thinking all day. Could she really do this? AJ was not just any ordinary man he was a fucking Backstreet boy. He was definitely not ordinary, she liked him though. She closed her eyes remembering him call her beautiful. She stepped out and looked at herself in the mirror, “I don’t know where he sees it…” she said as she took out her brush putting her hair in a loose side ponytail. Her long bangs framed her face, “Ok here I go…” she sighed stuffing her tote bag with her scrubs.

She was almost out of the hospital premises when she heard her name being called. She smiled when she recognized his voice she turned to the voice and smiled, “What are you doing here?” she asked as she went up to him.

“You look nice…I thought I could come pick you up instead of waiting for you at my house like you texted me.” he told her hugging her. “Ready?” he asked her brushing his lips on hers.

“Mhmm…” she told him hugging him. “Where are we going?” she asked him brushing aside her fears from earlier. “Let’s go,” she told him walking a little faster than him. She still didn’t want to let anyone know what was going on with her and his once upon time rival.

AJ realized what was happening when Valerie looked around making sure no one had seen them, “I got the door,” he told her as he took her stuff so he could put in the trunk.

She sat on the passenger waiting for him to get in, she smiled when he got into the drivers side and buckle his seatbelt, “So are you going to tell me where we are going?” she asked him. She reached for his hand brought to her tracing his tattoos with her hand. She wanted to talk to him about whatever this was.

“You’ll see,” he told her looking at her hands on his hand. “Are you ok?” he asked her as he began to drive.

She looked up at him and gave him a smile, “No, not really. Let’s just get to wherever you are taking me and we will talk there.” She told him kissing his hand.

He smiled at her and focused on getting to where they were heading, “Ok…you look beautiful by the way,” he told her. The black dressy slacks and greet top looked good especially because the top was low cut. He tried not to look at her and realized that she was right they needed to talk.

**********

“Where are we?” Valerie asked as she followed AJ throw the dock. “Wow that’s nice,” she said as she saw him stop in front of a boat. “Is it yours?” she asked.

AJ chuckled as he hopped in and helped her in. “No it’s my friends, but he owes me one so he lend it to me.” AJ said taking her hand and guiding her inside the boat. “So I came here first and had this prepared,” he told her as he helped her sit on the table.

Valerie was in awe as he saw what he had prepared, “Wow your such a softy,” she told him grabbing his hand pulling him back to her. “I like it,” she told him pulling him down for a kiss.

He was caught off guard and for a second he felt like he might fall as she kissed him, he smiled as they kissed. “I’m glad you liked it but this is not all…” he said as the boat began to move.

“Oh my god we’re moving…” where are we going.

“Let’s just enjoy our dinner,” he told her caressing her cheek and sitting in the other chair.

She forced herself again to eat good thing she hadn't eaten since the morning. “It’s good and I like that you remembered about my salad,” she told him.

“Of course I do since it’s all you order when I am around.” AJ said as he looked up at her. She looked like she was in a better mood today, “So how did it go with Sandy?” he asked her.

“Good we talked and apologized,” Valerie said as she took a drink of her Ginger ale. “You were right,” she finished.

“See it was all misunderstanding,” he told her reaching for her hand. “But I do have to thank Sandy for fighting with you…” he told her as he kissed her hand. “It brought you to me and I was finally able to tell you that I liked you.”

Valerie blushed as she heard him talk, “I have a secret to tell you too.” She told him a she grinned at him.

“What you check me out when I am not looking?” he asked raising his brow at her. “I don’t know what you check out though because I have no booty.”

She laughed at his comment, “Your eyes…” she told him looking into them. “But no that’s not what I was going to say…now I don’t know if I want to share it with you.”

“What no you can I told you mine,” he told her standing up and walking up to her. “Are you done?” he asked her as he bent down and kissed her cheek.

“Yeah I need a smoke,” Valerie as she took his hand and stood up. She stumbled a little since the boat was moving. “I hope I don’t get sea sick,” she told him.

“You’re from Florida Val,” he told her pulling her with him out to the deck.

“Crap I forgot my purse in your car so I have no cigarettes,” she told him as the made it to the deck.

“No worries did you forget I smoke too,” he told her as he reached inside his pocket and took out his packet. “Fuck there’s only one left…” he sighed heavily handing it to her.

“Well I guess,” she began to laugh and accepted the last cigarette. “Do you have a lighter?” Val asked as she stared at him.

“Yes,” he said pulling it out and helping her light the cigarette. He watched her inhale and he suddenly had a craving. Why hadn’t he remembered he needed more cigarettes?

“Here,” Valerie told him handing her the cigarette. “I will gladly share,” she told him. “That way we both get a little tar in our lungs.”

AJ smiled and took it from her, as soon as his lungs received the smoke he felt better. “Much better even if the way you described wasn’t that nice.” He told her handing her the cigarette again.

***********

“I still can’t believe you had a crush on me back then. It explains the hostility I got from you though,” AJ told Valerie as they sat in the dock just taking in the full moon. “Val,” AJ said facing her. “We need talk…” he told her kissing her softly on the lips. “About this…us.” AJ said taking her face with his hands kissing her fully.

A few seconds later Valerie pulled away to breath and smiled, “Yes we do…I like what we have.” She told him caressing his cheek, “but I don’t think I am ready for anyone else to know about it,” she said looking down…

AJ sighed as he heard her words, “why not?” he asked as he made her look at him.

AJ knew this was coming she was too insecure for her own good, “why not?” he asked her again.

She sighed heavily and stepped away from him, “AJ if I tell you what I am about to tell you promise you won’t get mad, I just want to be honest…” she told him as she bit her lip.

“I won’t I just want to know,” he said looking at her. He felt like he was not going to like what she was going to say but it was better to hear now than later when he was more into her than now.

Valerie closed her eyes and sighed heavily, “AJ look at me…Look at you. We are so different and then there is this sort of rivalry we had way back. Do you honestly think that when I tell Sandy about us she isn’t going to think I am joking? How about the rest of the guys? Your fans and the media AJ? I am not a supermodel with a hot body; I am a struggling medical student with issues. I am fat, yes I said fat AJ. Look at me!” she was frustrated with having to explain to him that she just didn’t see herself seeing someone like him.

AJ stared at her and then walked up to her, “Now that you have stated the obvious about you and me. So? Val I don’t give a fuck what anyone will think or say about me. The guys will be fine and Sandy too. I knew you would be scared about this Val, but remember that this is not about what the world will think about us…it’s about what we are feeling for each other.” He sighed and caressed her face, “Your not fat your just right… having curves is hot.” He leaned in and brushed his lips on hers, he backed away as he felt her wanting to intensify the kiss and grinned at her, “Ah wait.” He told her as he continued to grin at her. “I understand your fears Val and if it makes you happy we can keep this to each other till you think its time to tell everyone. Just promise me that you will work on your self esteem…Val babe you are beautiful.” AJ told her and crashed his lips on hers.

Valerie smiled as she felt his lips back on hers, she kissed him back. How could he be so good to her? Since when was she so deserving of man like him? AJ was being serious with her and she had to admit she liked it, “Thank you for understanding, I just need to feel like this is real. I just can’t believe you actually are here with me and we are not arguing or fighting. You are something else AJ…” she told him hugging him. “Now where are we going?” she asked as finally looked out in the ocean.

“Well if you insist to know,” AJ said smiling as he saw the dock. “My friend happens to have this beach house and I happen to have the keys to it,” he said taking them out of his pocket. “I thought I could get my dignity back by finally beating you in pool. Or I could let you win and have you do that nice sexy dance again,” he said smirking at her as the boat neared the dock.

“Wow this nice AJ,” Valerie said as she saw the row of houses with there personal docks for there boats. “Is this like your friends vacation house or what?” she asked as she leaned out of the railing a little to see as the boat neared dock.

“Thanks Manuel,” AJ told the driver as he grabbed the bag he had in the boat and threw it out of the boat. “I’ll call you when we are ready to go,” he said as he went up to Valerie. “Let’s go,” he told her as he took her hand in his.

*******

“Again? Valerie seriously what is going on?” Sandy said.

“Look Sandy I am with some co-workers. I’m a little tipsy and so is the person that is to drive me home so I agreed to stay with her. I’ll be fine don’t worry I will be home early and we will have a nice breakfast together. “Te amo,” Valerie said as she hung the up on her sister.

“You know that isn’t going to work all the time,” AJ said startling her as he walked back to the living room with two cokes in hand. “Here you go,” he said handing her a coke.

“I didn’t think that we would be coming all the way over here on our first date, not that I’m complaining.” She told him as she snuggled next to him. “I promise I will tell her just not yet… Time is all I need.”

“Ok,” AJ said kissing her on cheek. “I can wait,” he said making her look at him. “Are you enjoying our date?”

“Yes this is by far the best date I ever had.” she told him caressing his cheek. “What now?” she asked him still staring into his eyes.

“We can do whatever you want,” he said finally taking her lips with his.

She moaned as he intensified the kiss. She was now under him on the couch, “Well that was nice,” she told him stopping the kiss for a breather. “How about a walk on the beach?”

“Sounds nice,” he said kissing her chin and going down to her neck. He felt her get uncomfortable again and stood up instead. “Let go,” he said helping her up. “You have a game to loose later,” he said wrapping his hand around her waist.

********

Valerie was laughing as she put her pool stick down, “I won again,” she told him.

AJ watched as she laughed at him. He watched amazed at her and her laugh, “I think I deserve to see the winning dance,” he told her smirking at her.

She stopped laughing and smiled at him, “Don’t tell me you made me win again?” she asked him looking at him.

“No I have to admit you are better than me, now in golf is a different story.” He said approaching her.

“I don’t think you will ever catch me playing golf AJ.” She told him as she backed away. She smirked as he continued to approach her, “why are you looking at me like that?” she asked him.

“Like what?” he asked shrugging his shoulder’s. “Are you hungry?” he asked as her finally cornering her.

“No I’m still full from the food on the boat,” she told him wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Well I am a little hungry how about a snack while we watch a movie?” he asked her kissing her attentively. “Come on,” he told her pulling her toward the kitchen.

“How about some fruit? I can cut some fruit up for you….and me.” she told him as he saw him staring at her

“Ok,” he said as he watched her pick out some fruit. “Val can I ask you something?” he asked her. He had been trying to find a way to ask her about her way of trying to loose weight. “I don’t know how to ask you this but, I really care about you.” he said sighing. “I am worried about you; I want you to tell me the truth. I’ve seen you not eating well…” he stopped talking as he saw her look at him.

“AJ please,” she told him stopping what she was doing looking at him.

“No Val, I care for you I want to help you.” He told her going around the island so he would be beside her. “I am not trying to force you to tell me but, I want to let you know I am here and I will help you when you are ready.” He told her making her turn to face him.

“I know you are here and I am fine AJ don’t worry. But if I ever need help I know you’re here,” she told him. She kissed him softly, “Thank you for caring.”

********

Valerie stretched as she walked back to where AJ had parked his car. “Oh my god I can’t believe we overslept.” She told him as she wrapped her arm around his. “Sandy is going to kill me,” she told him.

“I’m sorry babe we shouldn’t have stayed up talking so late,” he told her stopping to kiss her. “Let’s get you home,” AJ said.

“It’s ok I like talking to you,” she told him as he opened the door for her.

He got into the car holding her purse, “I need a cigarette,” he told her smiling at her.

“I think I do too,” she told him taking her purse and pulling out her cigarette packet.

The ride back to LA was quiet but a good quiet. Until Valerie finally spoke, “I had a great time AJ and thank you for giving time.” she told him.

“I had a good time too,” he told her as he took her hand in his. “I am here as long as you allow me too,” he told her kissing her hand. “I should tell you that Chris knows about our date,” he said subtly.

“What?” she asked.

Valerie had just finished smoking when she felt her phone vibrate; she smiled as she saw who it was. “Hello?” she said flirtingly.

“I’ve missed you,” AJ told Valerie as he heard her greet him. “It’s been exactly four days since our date and I have not seen you. I miss you…when can we see each other?” he asked her.

She was smiling like crazy she knew that, “I’m sorry it’s just been a very stressing week for me. Dr. Sander’s has my ass working like crazy, I’m not complaining. I am learning a lot…I actually have to study for a test she is giving Monday. Then yesterday I spent the whole damn day with Leigh and Sandy looking for THE DRESS!” she emphasized the last part of her sentence.

AJ chuckled and had to ask, “Well did she find it?”

“Yes finally way out of her budget but she called Javier up and he agreed on her getting it. I am happy she did though, she leaves tomorrow morning. You are going to the good bye dinner Leigh is throwing her right?” she asked more because she actually missed him too and it would be nice to see him.

“Yeah I am, I am in charge of dessert.” He told her, “I also need to see you.”

“Yeah we can sneak somewhere and make out.” She said giggling into the phone.

“I like the way you think…Or you could always tell everyone about us and make out in front of them.” He winced hoping he hadn't pulled the wrong cord with his comment.

She chuckled, “I could but I’m not ready…besides its so much better when you feel the rush of nerves because you know that if you get caught you’re going to shock everyone.”

“Yeah I guess, so since Sandy is leaving does that mean I can go over again and stay over?” he asked her.

“Yes you can do that tomorrow night you can help me study.” She said excitedly.

AJ chuckled, “I think you are the only one excited about that. But I will help with as much as I can…even if I don’t know shit about doctor’s and stuff.”

“Hey AJ I have to run, still here working my fat ass. I think I am needed, but I will see you tonight ok?” she asked.

“Yeah ok by beautiful see you later.” AJ managed to say and heard her giggle at his comment.

**********

“Come on Val we are running late,” Sandy yelled from the living room.

“I’m going hold your horse’s woman!” Valerie yelled from her room. She wanted to look extra good tonight. She hadn't seen AJ in a few days so she wanted to a least look good for him tonight.

“About time,” Sandy said staring at her sister. “Like the jeans makes your ass stand out,” Sandy said slapping her sister’s butt.

“Hey!” Valerie said pointing at her, “Don’t start I could point out some of your imperfections,” she laughed.

“Yeah whatever,” Sandy said rolling her eyes. “Since when did you start dressing more feminine? No offense it makes you look nice, hot.”

“Not you too,” Val said pushing her sister out of the apartment and into the elevators.

“See I’m not the only one that thinks like that…who told you this?” she asked her.

Valerie was startled realizing she had done wrong in saying what she had, “I uh…well uh Howie and then some of my co-workers are telling me too.” She managed to say giving her sister a smile.

“See…You are pretty Val and now that you are loosing more weight it’s getting more noticeable. Imagine if Raul saw you now…”

“I am so over Raul, he is a piece of shit that treated his carpet better than me. Damn him he also made me start smoking,” Valerie said remember her college boyfriend. A very manipulating man that made her think he was the only person that would ever like her as a woman.

“Well like I told you when I arrived he’s looking for you. I think he wants you back…he had daddy almost believe he had changed. I think he realized just how much you actually did for him, for crying out loud you did his school work. Just so he could party and then take credit on your work. Bastard!” Sandy said getting mad remembering all the times she would stay awake talking to Val about that good for nothing brute.

*********

AJ had arrived quite early not his normal doing, “Man I really should take this day and memorialize it…” Howie said as he took a seat next to AJ. “You being so early that you beat everyone else, did you wake up on the right side of the bed today?”

“Come on Howie,” AJ said rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t know how long he could keep the truth from coming out of his mouth. Chris had been sworn into secrecy but he wasn’t the problem, he was. “I just wanted to be here on time and help out.”

“Howie leave AJ alone if not he will never try to be early for anything. I mean look at the way you are making him feel?” Leigh said as he came in with baby James in her arms. She smiled as she heard the door bell.

“I’ll get it,” AJ said standing up. “I mean since you two are busy.”

“Ok? Go!” Howie said eyeing AJ. If he knew him well something was going on with him and he wasn’t going to stop till he found out.

“AJ you’re here already?” asked Nick as he came in with the same girl from the club.

“Not you too,” AJ said hugging Nick. “Melissa right?” AJ asked the young girl who seemed to be a little nervous.

“Yeah that’s right,” Melissa said shaking his hand.

“Go right ahead Howie and Leigh are waiting.” AJ told them as he let them in. He watched them walk away and then turned just in time to see Sandy and Valerie get out of a cab. He wanted to run and hug Val but he knew he couldn’t, “hey you finally made it,” AJ said hugging Sandy.

“Hey AJ,” Sandy said hugging him back. “It’s nice seeing you…”

“Same here go right in Howie is waiting on you.” AJ told Sandy as she walked in. He turned to see Val standing there with a small smile on her face.

“Hi AJ,” she said softly when inside she was screaming to be in his arms, his lips on hers.

“Hey Val,” he said slowly going in for a hug. He closed his eyes as he hugged her and before he let her go he whispered in her ear, “You look beautiful.”

“Not bad yourself,” she whispered back and quickly pulled away when she saw Howie coming. “Howie,” she said and went up to him giving him a hug.

“Hey Val…Wow you’ve lost some weight quite rapidly. You do know you still have months for Sandy’s wedding?” Howie said looking at her carefully.

“No I am still pretty fat Howie you’re just seeing things. We really haven’t seen each other lately that’s all.” She told him nervously walking away before he could say anything else.

*********

“I need a smoke,” Valerie said pushing her almost untouched plate of food. “I’ll just take walk in the back,” she told Howie as she grabbed her purse.

“Hang on Val,” AJ said clearing his throat, “I’ll go with you I need one too,” he said happy she had such a brilliant idea.

“Ok,” Valerie said and stopped waiting for him. They walked out the sliding doors into the gazebo in the back. “It’s a nice night isn’t it?” she asked as she dug for her cigarettes.

“Yeah,” AJ said wrapping an arm around her waist. “I am glad we both have this horrible habit,” he said kissing her cheek and then down her neck.

“I was hoping you would come,” Valerie told him as she turned around and kissed him on the mouth. “Wait we should walk further down there it’s a little darker,” she said taking his hand and pulling him toward the orange tree in the back yard.

AJ gladly followed her, “Hi,” he told her as he faced her. He closed the space between them, “I think its time I greet my girlfriend the right way,” he said inching his mouth to hers.

Valerie felt like butter to heat as he took her mouth with his, she suddenly forgot all about the nicotine urge she had and AJ’s kisses were enough. “Wow,” she said as she broke the kiss to breathe.

“I need to see you more often Val,” AJ said caressing her cheek. “We need to make some arrangements don’t you think?”

“Yes and we will tomorrow night when you go over,” she told him. “Now lets smoke so we can head back in if not they will come looking for us.”

*********

“That was nice of Howie right?” Sandy asked Valerie as they walked into the apartment. “Val?” she asked realizing Valerie was not there or at least her mind wasn’t.

“Huh?” I’m sorry I was just thinking. I have so much in my head.”

“I said it was nice of Howie to have done this for me,” she repeated.

“Yeah it was,” Val said as she plopped on the couch. All she kept thinking about was the kiss and AJ calling her his girlfriend. She knew they were dating but neither had called each other that. She smiled as she repeated it her head, she was AJ’s girlfriend. She was startled by the pillow that hit her in the face, “what the fuck,” she said throwing it back at her sister. “What was that for?”

“Well you keep ignoring me…” Sandy said, “I leave tomorrow at least try to be interested in my conversation till then.”

“Awe I’m sorry sis I just have this major test I need to study for,” Valerie said standing up where she sat and going to sit on her sister’s lap. “You know I love you…” she kissed her cheek.

“Yeah sure you do,” Sandy said pushing her off playfully. “Come let’s head to bed I have a long morning tomorrow. I hate airports,” she said as she began to walk to the guest room.

“Ok night Sandy,” Val said as she watched her sister disappear. She sighed and was about to go her room when she felt her phone vibrate, she smiled as she read the text message. Yes she typed back instructing AJ to be extra quiet so Sandy wouldn’t here him come in.

For the first in a long time did Valerie feel the adrenaline going? She had allowed AJ into her room more like snuck him in, when her big sister was sleeping in the room across. “You have to be super quiet you understand?” she told him as she pushed him on the bed. “I’ll be right back,” she finished as she grabbed her PJ’s.

AJ watched as she disappeared into her bathroom, had he seen right or was she still sleeping in his shirt. He sighed in frustration as he lay back down on her bed; he smiled at least this time he would feel much more comfortable hugging her. The other time he had stayed here it was with boundaries, but not tonight. “Helloooo….” He said winking at her as she walked out. “You look more beautiful without make up,” he whispered as he sat up raising his hand to her so she could come toward him.

“Quit trying to make me feel weird,” she whispered to him as she sat in front him.

“Why would that make you feel weird? I am being honest,” he told her brushing his lips on hers and then caressing her face. “You…” he kissed her forehead, “are…” he kissed the tip of her nose, “beautiful,” he finished taking her lips with his.

She smiled inside as she was swept by AJ’s kisses. Why was it that when he told her she was beautiful she actually did feel beautiful….at least most of the time anyway. She stopped the kiss and stared into his eyes, “AJ…” she sighed as she continued to stare at his eyes.

He knew she was about to say something he might not like by the way she was staring at him, her stare was intense and it told him that whatever she was about to say was very important to her, “yeah?” he asked in a whisper as he took a strand of her hair away from her face.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked closing her eyes as she felt his hand on her face.

“Yes anything babe,” he told her his lips so close to hers again. He knew better than to kiss her though now he wanted to know what she had in her mind.

She opened her eyes and took a deep breath, “I need to know that this is not just a pastime for you. I don’t want to fall head over heels for you and then you shatter my heart in a mere second. Leave all the flirting aside and the great times we’ve had so far. Do you really think this will work? Could you really see yourself with someone like me?” she searched for the answer in his eyes and saw the pain her questions had caused in his eyes.

He had to swallow hard to not get mad at her question; it was a pretty valid question. She was scared of what could happen between them. He was sure she knew about his history with his ex-relationships if not by the media by Howie for sure. He was more disappointed by it though, hadn't he been clear to her the other night on the boat? He sighed heavily and drew a distance between them, “I…” he took a deep breath remembering his need to be super quiet so that Sandy wouldn’t hear. “Val I would be grateful of you if you gave me the chance to prove to you this is real. I think we have a lot in common to make this relationship work…but,” he stared at her intently and saw the look on her eyes. “If you can’t handle what is sure to come when our relationship goes public, I can understand.”

Valerie looked away could she handle it? The scrutiny of his fans and the media, she could almost hear what they would say about her. “I don’t know…” she mumbled trying not to see him.

AJ sighed and slowly walked to her, “Val one thing I know for sure and that is that I don’t want you to hurt…so let’s forget all this ever happened ok? I don’t want to see you unhappy…” he kissed her softly on the forehead and walked toward the door.

“Wait,” she said quietly but yet she saw him stop. “Where are you going?” she asked looking at him in confusion.

AJ turned around and spoke, “I am doing the right thing and I am backing away. See you around Val,” with that he softly opened the door and walked away.

She wanted to run and stop him but she couldn’t, was he right? She couldn’t see herself with him…he was too good to be true for her anyways. She grinded her teeth in disappointment as she heard the light creak as the main door opened. She forced herself to go lock it.

“Vals?” Sandy called out as she opened the door to her room.

”Yeah it’s me I was just making sure I had locked the door,” Val told her as she walked back toward her room.

******

“Ok seriously…spit it out AJ what’s bothering you?” Chris said as he caught up with him as the exited the golf club.

AJ didn’t bother to speak he just began to shove his golf clubs into his car. Finally he sighed heavily and spoke, “I just needed a distraction today…so I wouldn’t run back to Val,” he said as he turned around and faced his friend. “I ended it last night; she clearly is not going to be able to handle a relationship with me.”

Chris sighed and looked at his friend, “She let you go just like that?” he asked.

“Yes…she is not ready and I don’t want to hurt her. She has enough issues as it is and I don’t want her to have one more because of me.” he sighed because he really did feel some sort of connection to her.

“But are you going to able to handle it? You will definitely see her often she is Howie’s friend.” Chris told him as he sat in the passenger’s seat of AJ’s car.

“Well not for long…we are almost done with the album which means a tour is soon to be coming and then I can always use the excuse that I don’t like her to get out of any plans the include her…everyone knows we’ve hated each other for a while.” AJ said not truly believing it himself but he could do it. Kevin once had said that Nick and he were the two most likely to fall in love at first sight from the group. Maybe he was right, he could possibly find someone.

“I guess whatever suits you buddy,” Chris said looking at his friend.

“I’m not mad at her…just hurt that she would think I couldn’t like her for the right reasons. Do I really look that shallow?” AJ asked as he sped away.

********

She deserved a day off right? It was her first call pretending to be sick. She needed it cause she no longer could pretend she was ok. She was tired of lying to her friends that she was sad because of Sandy leaving, the truth was she was mad at herself for hurting AJ. But she had done the right thing right? AJ deserved someone more graceful and poise beside him not a fat clumsy pig. “AJ,” she sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror.

Three days ago she had let him walk away from her life. He had not called, she had hurt him deeply. “Why can’t I look more like Sandy?” she asked herself looking into the mirror. She was big in every aspect, she was freaking 5’9 and her hands were always bigger than any other girl she had met. She cringed as she remembered her mother tease her about her being able to sleep standing and not fall.

It had never really bugged when she was younger it kept the bullies away. She could have been considered a bully actually back then…she sort of was. But now she hated it. Back then it was actually sort of good she could pass as someone older, but now she just looked like a morbid obese woman. Howie was right she could try all she wanted but she would never be able to be like Sandy. She felt her stomach churn as she mentally pictured her sister… naturally tan and at 5’5. Her big eyes and nice small curves, why was it that she had to get the bad genes?

“Hello,” she finally answered her cell phone.

“Val,” Howie said into the phone. “Are you working?” he asked.

“No…I uh didn’t feel well today so I called in,” she told Howie.

“Well then never mind… you rest.” Howie said with a brotherly tone. “At least you got sick after your test… if not you might have failed.”

“Yeah I guess that’s a good thing… were you going to invite me over?” she asked him curious to why he had called.

“Well yeah sort of I know how blue you’ve been since Sandy left so Leigh thought you would like to come over for dinner and a movie. But I will let her know you are sick don’t worry about it.” Howie told her in a sincere tone.

“Thanks Howie anyway. Maybe tomorrow I can go over for a while.” She said.

“I… well actually I will be at the studio till very late,” Howie said sighing heavily. “But Leigh will be here maybe you two could have a nice brunch,” he said.

“Yeah I’ll call her tomorrow,” she told him as she continued to stare at herself in the mirror disgusted with how she looked. “Bye” she mumbled into the phone and hung up.

She put on her sweats and went for a well deserved run, three days without food probably hadn't done much so a few laps around the park could help. Water she liked though so she drank herself a couple of glasses and left to her now routine. Maybe she could also save and get some surgery done.

*********

“Shit!” AJ said taking off his headphones and walking out of the recording studio. “I need a smoke,” AJ said not waiting for any comments to his horrible mood.

“Ok,” Nick said standing up… “I guess I’ll go next then. He apparently needs a minute,” he said to the startled producer.

Howie smiled at Nick and then walked toward where AJ had left to…he found him smoking away. “So you want to talk about it?” he asked patting his friend on the shoulder.

“Not really but you won’t leave me till I do…” AJ said exhaling the smoke.

“Good point,” Howie said.

“Have you ever felt like you had done something right yet you regret it?” he asked Howie.

“Yeah I can think of a couple of things why?”

“Because that’s exactly how I feel right now…I know that I did the right thing, but I can’t seem to like that choice. I wish I could go back to when I was making that decision maybe I wouldn’t have made the right choice.” AJ said as he finished his smoke.

“Are you going to tell me what has you thinking like this?” Howie asked a little concerned thinking he was talking about his past demons.

“Relax it’s not what you think, but I don’t think you’ll get anything else out of me for today.” AJ told him eying his friend. “I just need more time I guess.”

********

“Thanks for lunch Leigh I really enjoyed it,” Valerie said as she took a seat with little James in her arms.

“I am glad you’re feeling better even if you do look a little pale actually.” Leigh said staring at her intently. “As well as you didn’t really touch your food today.”

“I already told you I am still a little nauseous that’s why,” Valerie lied as she ignored Leigh’s stare by playing with little James. “How’s everyone?”

“You mean Howie?” Leigh asked.

“Yeah of course and the rest of the guys aren’t they like about to come out with another album?” Valerie asked when really she just wanted to make sure AJ was ok.

“Yeah there all good, but it seems AJ is the one little anxious for the tour dates to be set.”

To think that was all her fault, she swallowed hard, “He is ready to get all the girls attention again,” she said trying not to sound jealous.

“I don’t know Val he actually has changed. Usually he’s hanging with Brian and his family when on tour…he says Brian helps him. Keeps him sane, those are his words. He’s really not what the media paints him to be he’s changed.” Leigh said reaching to take her son back.

“How are you feeling today?” Stacy asked as she caught up with Valerie.

“I am better,” Valerie lied giving her a smile.

Stacy pretended to smile back but she actually felt a little worried for the sudden color loss Valerie had. “Well brace yourself because guess who is here? Mrs. Bates, well she doesn’t like us to call her that, its Betty to all of us…” Stacy said rolling her eyes. “You sure you’re feeling better?”

“Yeah I’m fine,” Valerie said now a little more worried about having to be in the same building as Russell’s wife. “Well I’ll just stay in the third floor today so I won’t bump into her,” Valerie said now getting impatient at the elevators.

Stacy laughed and then gave Valerie a sympathetic smile, “Betty is really great friends with Dr. Sander’s. As well as the fact that Betty Bates is a Pediatrician.”

“Fuck,” Valerie mumbled now finally realizing she had to force herself to meet her. Not that she really cared it was just the fact that she would have the urge to tell her what kind of husband she had. In the process she would put herself in a big mess since…well she had been involved with him at some point. She cringed as her head was flooded with those memories.

*********

“Yes mom,” AJ said into his phone as he parked. “No I am fine and excited to get back on tour.”

“Ok well I will see you in a few days then. I love you.” Denise said as she heard her son’s voice.

“Yes in few days…Love you too,” AJ said walking into the studio with three wonderings eyes stared at his entry. “What?” he asked them as he put his cell phone away.

“Nothing really we were just wondering if today you would be in a better mood. Apparently your not,” Nick said rolling his eyes.

AJ cleared his throat, “Sorry I didn’t mean to snap at you all I was in a shitty mood the other day. It won’t happen today…my mom says hi to you all.”

“So is she coming after all?” Howie asked.

“Yes she will be here in a few days.” AJ confirmed as he fidgeted with the recording equipment.

************

“Actually I can’t,” Valerie lied as she looked into the warmest eyes she ever met aside from AJ’s. Betty was so nice and it only made her feel guiltier. She had to keep reminding herself she had been victim too.

“Well maybe tomorrow or someday this week…before I head back out. I just love that you are so well grounded and that you have chosen to major with helping children. Russell was right about you, you are a head strong woman,” Betty told Valerie as she smiled at her.

“He shouldn’t lie,” Valerie said in a fake smile. She wondered why he would even mention her for. “I have to go but it was nice to meet you Dr. Bates.” Valerie said no longer standing being there. She left before she could tell her anything else.

As she finally made it out of the hospital she wished she could go to AJ and have him console her. But she couldn’t she had rejected him, when she really didn’t want that all. “Fuck Valerie when will you grab the bull by its horns and do something good for yourself?” she reprimanded herself.

“Wait!” Stacy screamed as she ran toward Valerie.

“Yes,” Valerie asked Stacy as she stopped.

“Want to join me tonight? Some of my friends and I are going to this nice club…” Stacy asked Valerie with a hopeful smile.

“Yeah that sounds nice,” Valerie said realizing that she had agreed to something she really didn’t want. Maybe though she could get rid of some of the pain and emptiness she felt.

“Great so here is my number call me and I’ll drive by to pick you up, at eight ok?” Stacy said giving her a genuine smile.

“See you then,” Valerie said as she saw Stacy head back to the hospital. “Great,” she muttered as she began her walk to her apartment.

**********

Valerie stared at the red numbers on her watch that taunted her from the lamp stand beside her bed. She was supposed to be getting ready to go out with Stacy yet she did not move from the bed. “Argh…” she mumbled as she forced herself up from the bed. She knew she was pushing her body to the extreme, when she felt the light headiness hit her as she stood up.

“I guess I should eat a salad tonight,” she told herself as she went to her restroom to find the scale. First she had to see if she had lost some weight. “Ugh just three pounds?” Valerie said in frustration looking at herself on the mirror. She did not recognize herself at all.

She rummaged through her closet to find something she felt comfortable and presentable for the night. “This red top is nice and it hides my belly,” she told herself as she got ready. It was actually harder than she had thought, making herself go out. Maybe if it was AJ taking her out it would’ve been different. She was surprised by her face expression with just thought of AJ.

AJ had done something to her and she was letting her fears tear that apart. Maybe she had overreacted? Maybe he was right, why was she being so guarded about a relationship with him? When she was younger that’s all she dreamed of, AJ seeing her as more than Sandy’s little sister and Becky’s friend. What she would’ve done then to get his attention like Becky had back then.

*******
Half an hour later here she was sitting beside Stacy in her Honda civic, “So how many friends did you say we were meeting up with again?” Valerie asked biting her lip.

“Just a few more, don’t worry they are great and they know I am bringing a friend.” Stacy gave Valerie a smile, “So what kind of music do you like Val?”

“I don’t have a preference I just listen to whatever fits my mood at the time,” Valerie said finally trying to feel a little more at ease.

“Ok cool so what mood are you in now?” Stacy said giving her another smile.

“I am a little nervous so no Rock please it won’t help but you can put anything want on.” Valerie said as she finally looked at Stacy and realized that she was pretty. Very slim and what she wore accentuated her…she definitely looked better than in her scrubs.

“Ok… well then lets just talk,” Stacy said looking ahead and hitting the breaks as the street light turned red. “I mean I know your one heck of good learner and that you like your job…but what else is there to Valerie Mendez?” she asked.

“Not much really except the obvious I am a nerd. I hate seafood and any weird food I’ve never heard of. I hate to try new food; I like what I already know. But besides that I have nothing interesting to tell you…” Valerie said shrugging.

“Oh come on Valerie…how about a boyfriend or girlfriend?” Stacy said giving her a curious look.

“I’ve had two boyfriends in my entire existence and one I don’t think counts cause it was only a childish thing. For the other I don’t really like to talk about him…how about you Stacy tell me a little about you,” Valerie said trying to change the conversation.

“Ok well I guess I should say it now in case you want to freak out…I am in a relationship right now and I guess you could say I have found my soul mate. She is wonderful and you will see why when you meet her today.” Stacy turned to see the reaction on Valerie’s face but saw nothing but a smile on her face. “You’re not going to freak out on me?” she asked.

“No… why should I?” Valerie asked arching her brow at her, “Love can be found in different ways and who am I to judge. If she makes you happy that’s what matters…but can I say something?” Valerie asked.

“Yeah sure what is it?” Stacy asked smiling at her.

“You don’t look…you know gay.” Valerie said turning slightly red.

Stacy laughed and then she looked at Valerie, “Thanks I guess. I like women Valerie but I also like style and I think I look damn good as a woman.”

“Sorry if I insulted you I was just curious.” Valerie said feeling a little bad for her comment.

“Oh no you didn’t…now lets see where should we park?” Stacy said as she entered the Parking lot down town.

**********

Valerie was enjoying her night and now here they were waiting to be seated in a fancy restaurant. “So after here where are we going,” Valerie asked Stacy.

“Well Josh wants us to go to some club a few blocks from here,” Stacy said smiling at Valerie. “You ok? I mean if you are ready to go home I can take you.”

“Yeah Val we can take you home and then join Josh,” Madison repeated to Valerie.

“I’ll see but I wouldn’t want to ruin your night though,” Valerie said looking at them both. She was a little exhausted after there adventure today. She liked Stacy and Madison; they were a cute couple now that she knew they were a couple.

“It won’t ruin anything,” Stacy assured her just as they were called to be seated.

“Now Valerie…just to let you know this restaurant sometimes tends to have celebrities dinning so stay on the look out,” Josh said as he began to roam the restaurant.

“Oh yeah we forgot to warn Val about Josh,” Samantha chimed as she slapped Josh on the arm playfully. “Valerie Josh is a Celebrity stalker…well not really but if he sees one he will do what it takes to get an autograph.”

“Not all celebrities Sam,” Josh corrected. “Just the ones I like.”

“Which do you not like?” Matt the last of the group finally said. “I’ve never seen you not like a celebrity.”

Valerie was laughing by then and was glad she had not shared anything about knowing certain famous guys to Stacy earlier. “There is no shame in that Josh,” Valerie told him smiling.

“See she gets me,” Josh said putting his arm around Valerie. “You’re my new best friend,” he told her sticking his tongue out to Samantha.

*******

“So,” Chris said trying to make conversation with AJ as they entered the busy restaurant.

“So what?” AJ asked knowing exactly what Chris wanted to hear. “Nick and his girl should be here soon and I don’t want to talk about this right now Chris. Let’s just have a nice dinner ok?”

“Fine…” Chris said as he asked for a table. “For four,” he told the young lady that attended him.

“Here comes Nick now,” AJ said as he saw him enter the restaurant with Melissa in tow.

“Chris how are you doing man?” Nick said shaking Chris hand. “This is Melissa,” he said pointing to her as he presented her to Chris.

“Your table is ready,” AJ heard the young lady from earlier say as she appeared again.

“Thanks,” AJ said smiling at her and began to follow her toward there table. Once seated he did acknowledge Melissa and Nick with a smile and then he began to scan the menu, he barely heard what Nick was telling Chris. He was getting good at ignoring what he didn’t want to hear. He froze as he heard a voice he recognized and finally he looked up from his menu toward the voice. “Val?” he whispered as he recognized her.

“I’ll have a coke,” he told the waiter not taking his gaze from the table across where Valerie sat. She looked like she was having fun, it pained him because that meant he was the only regretting his stupid decision from a week ago. But he had to stop staring so he forced himself to look back at the menu, only glancing a few times.

******

“Oh my god,” Josh said putting his glass down and pointing to another table. “I believe I have spotted someone famous,” he whispered toward Samantha who followed his gaze.

“Who?” she asked squinting to see well even with her glasses on.

“Nicholas Gene Carter, the most handsome man of the boy band era,” Josh gushed blushing a little.

Valerie turned her gaze then to see if maybe Josh was wrong but no there sat Nick with Melissa, Chris and AJ. “Who did you say?” Valerie asked not because she hadn't seen him it was more for reassurance. But she was only looking at AJ who seemed extra concentrated on the menu.

“Nick Carter,” Josh said sighing, “I used to dream of him all the time. Awe the boy band era was such a wonderful time in my life…I must get his autograph.”

“I think you should wait it seems they barely arrived,” Valerie said a little too nervous. “Or even better I can get it for you…” she knew it wasn’t a good idea but maybe it was the only way to finally go up and apologize to AJ. They needed to talk…because she had been miserable all this week with out him by her side. Just talk and see where that lead, he wasn’t going to look for her he had made that clear so this was the best opportunity she knew that.

“What do you mean are you a fan?” Josh asked smugly.

“Err not exactly,” Valerie said taking a big gulp of her wine and standing up before her bravery faltered. “Just wait and see,” Valerie said winking at Josh. It took her a little longer than normal to get to the table but it was just because she had done it on purpose. “Well look who I have found? Oh Nick please can I have your autograph?” Valerie said acting like a star struck fan.

Nick looked up smiling as he recognized who it was, “Vals anything for you…” Nick said winking at her and standing to give her a hug.

“Really anything?” Valerie asked arching her eyebrow.

“Yes well except for a date I am taken at the moment,” he said with a smirk on his face.

“Oh of course not you’re not my type anyway Mr. Carter it’s more of a favor…but first.” She said looking at Chris and then Melissa, “I need to finish saying hello,” she kissed Chris on the cheek and then Melissa. Finally she stared at AJ who still seemed to be more interested in the menu, “Have you decided what you want yet?” she asked him.

AJ finally looked up but said nothing he just gave her a small smile. He was going to go back to looking at the menu but he couldn’t so he sighed and answered. “No not really maybe you could suggest something for me? Or wait let me guess…you would recommend me a salad?” his smile widen.

“I had tons of fun Stacy see you tomorrow at work,” Valerie said as she hugged her and then hugged Madison. “Josh I hope to see you soon again,” she told the still star struck man.

“Yes girl of course, we’ll make plans. Nice to meet you and AJ nice meeting you too,” Josh said extending his hand to AJ who just waited patiently for Valerie to finish saying her good byes.

“Yeah nice meeting you all,” AJ said smiling to him and then the rest of the group. He was waiting for Valerie to finish saying good bye to her new friends but he was here because in a desperate whisper Valerie had asked him to stay and talk to her. “I’ll get Howie’s and Brian’s autograph for you. Val can give it to you later…” he told Josh eying Valerie who was staring at him with a smirk on her face.

“You have made his night,” Stacy said patting her friend on the shoulder. “To bad Nick is still not here if not he would’ve made a fool of himself even more.”

“Next time I’ll make him stay,” Valerie said smiling.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to take you home?” Madison asked as she eyed AJ curiously.

“Yeah I’m sure AJ is trust worthy… if not he knows he will get his ass kicked.” Valerie told Madison. “Just go and have fun, I’m done for tonight. Later…” she told them and then turned to look at AJ. “Ready?”

AJ shrugged and sighed with a half smile on his face, “I am ready when you are,” he finally stated. “My car is this way…” he pointed to the opposite direction of where they stood.

“Good a nice walk so we can talk,” Valerie said as she looked through her purse for her lighter and cigarette pack.

“Talk, hmmm…” he said as they both began to walk. He watched her light the cigarette, he was feeling pretty bad about his comment earlier to her but he didn’t know why he had said it. “I’m sorry.” He finally said with a guilty voice.

“For what?” Valerie said exhaling the smoke from her lungs. “I am the one who needs to apologize for my stupid behavior. All you have shown me since I’ve arrived is that you want to be my friend among other things and I just keep finding a lame excuse after excuse to refuse it.”

“No it’s totally understandable and I am apologizing for my rude comment earlier in the restaurant.” AJ said finally giving in to temptation and also looked for his cigarettes.

Valerie handed him her lighter so he could light his cigarette, “I knew you were just being funny in a cruel way…I know you didn’t mean it. My behavior toward your honest feelings is not understandable AJ… this week has been horrible for me and all I kept wanting to do is go looking for you. But I couldn’t because I knew I had hurt you…” she told him as she finished her smoke.

“It was a hectic week for me too… I was so close to call you a few times but I didn’t want to make you think I was being obsessive.” AJ said smiling genuinely for the first time that night.

“AJ I am not the best girlfriend material but I can’t deny that I like you a lot.” She sighed heavily and then she continued, “I know it’s going to be hard but I want to try if you can forgive my childish behavior…” she stopped and turned to look at him.

AJ tossed his cigarette butt and exhaled the smoke before he spoke again, “I think you’re the best girlfriend material… your just what I want and need. We can try and we can take it super slow if you want…” he closed the space between them his eyes staring intently into hers.

“I don’t want you to feel obligated by my stupid reasoning…so tomorrow I will tell Howie about us and my sister I will call her. Our friends should know, now maybe the other non important people to our relationship we can wait to let them know.” She bit her lip as she got closer to him as well.

“Yeah? So you wouldn’t mind me kissing you here in front of all these people walking?” he asked inching his face to hers.

“I won’t care anymore as long as I am happy.” Valerie said as she traced her finger on his chin and jaw line. “Kiss me….” she whispered as she began to close her eyes in anticipation.

“My pleasure,” AJ said crashing his lips on hers.

***********

“Let’s see what Miss Mendez is listening to at the moment…” AJ said as he pushed play on the media player in her laptop.

“You sure you want water?” Valerie asked from the kitchen.

“Yes water is fine,” AJ said smiling as his ears were hit with a Spanish song. “Who’s this?” He asked with a smile as Valerie returned with a bottle of water in hand.
“That’s Maná,” she told him as she took a seat next to him. “The best rock group in Spanish history…” she told him smiling. “I love this song Sabanas Frías.”
“Translation please?” AJ asked arching his brow at her.
“AJ you have Spanish blood too you should try to speak Spanish you know…” she elbowed him with a smile, “wait no its better that you don’t that way I can talk about you in Spanish and you wouldn’t know what I am saying.” She laughed at AJ’s surprised face, “What I was only kidding….the songs name is Cold Sheets, I know its sounds weird in English but it’s a good song. Also the fact that Santana is playing with them only makes it better.”
“Santana as in Carlos Santana?” AJ asked as he turned to face her, a small smile on his face.
“Yeah that Santana.” She pushed stop on the song and faced him. “Stay with me tonight,” she told him blushing a little as she told him.

AJ was happy as he heard her, but tried not to show that much excitement they still had a lot to talk about. “I’d love to stay Val but…” he was cut off by her lips on his. He lost his senses then and just kissed her back.

She stopped kissing him to catch her breath, “then stay…I know we have a lot of talking to do and I need someone to talk to. I need someone to listen to me and give me the right advise, please?” she looked at him with pleading eyes. She wasn’t going to loose him again, she realized that she needed him. She wasn’t quite ready to confront all that would come from this but she knew that with him by her side she could at least handle it.

AJ smiled at her and then sighed, “So you’re my girlfriend again?” he asked arching his brow.

“Well I don’t know I never broke up with you…you broke up with me remember?” she told him teasingly. “I want to be with you that’s all I know.”

“I want to be with you too…” he told her cupping her face with his hand. He teased by taking extra slow in inching his face to hers, he grinned at her facial expression of impatience. He finally took her lips with his moaning as she felt her kissing back intensely.

*******
“Good morning,” AJ said as he saw Valerie walk out the room still in her pajamas and hair still tussled. He gave her a grin as she smiled at him.

“Good morning what are you doing in my kitchen? You left me so I got cold and I had to come look for you.” she walked to where he stood in the kitchen scrambling some eggs.

“I thought it would be nice to make breakfast for you,” he looked at her again and laughed, “I like your look babe but I think you should freshen up a little unless you plan to stay here with me all day.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and walked away, “I’ll be right out,” she was happy he was here but the smell of food in her apartment did not mesh well. She hadn't cooked in a while because of her lack of interest in food. She was trying to look descent not only for her sake but now for his sake. She wanted to look good by his side; he never had someone fat by his side. She knew he didn’t care that’s what he had told her but she did.

AJ continued to prepare the breakfast thinking about the conversation they had the night before. But more than that he was thinking about her sudden lost weight, knowing what he knew she was probably starving herself she had lost quite a few pounds since he had last seen her. He was determined to make her eat, yeah she looked good in a way but sickly too. She had sort of lost her color and something told him she was hiding something more. “If she wants this to work we have to do something about this,” he said worriedly.

*****

She was still mad about the conversation from that morning, “Do I honestly look like I need help with my health? I know what my body can handle,” she told herself still remembering AJ’s words. Maybe he was right but she was still not ready to let him know he was. “I just need to loose a few more pounds then I will start to eat like a normal person,” she assured herself as she punched out from work.

“So did you get home safe?” Stacy interrupted her.

“Oh hey, yeah I did. How about you did you have fun?” she asked Stacy as they both walked to the elevators.

“Yeah but Madison wanted me to ask you that. I tried to reassure her that you would be fine; I mean I saw the look AJ was giving you. I don’t know if you know but he likes you…I can perceive that from him, call it woman intuition. I also….saw they way you looked him,” she stopped at that not trying to push anything more on her.

Valerie laughed lightly, “I will tell you about it eventually just not yet ok?” she said winking at Stacy. “Its complicated,” she sighed.

“Hey I get it, its cool, so have you seen Mrs. Bates today?” she tried changing the conversation.

“Yeah but then we got really busy and I was able to ignore her…How much longer do you think she will be here?”

Stacy shrugged, “I don’t know? Maybe another week or so.”

“Ugh,” Valerie said making a face. “Well I’ll just have to endure it. I’ll see you Monday?”

“Yeah, sure or if you want to go out tomorrow or tonight call me,” Stacy told her.

“Ok I will if I do… I kind of have plans,” Valerie said blushing a little.

*********

“I can do this,” Valerie said as she walked up the big building.

“Can I help you?” the security asked as Valerie approached.

“Uhm, yeah I am here to see someone, I believe they’re in studio 34?” Valerie said looking at her scribbled sticky note.

“Your name?” he asked.

“Valerie Mendez,” she watched the guard look through a clipboard and after a few minutes he opened the door for her.

“Mr. McLean left your name here so we would know to let you in. Just go straight in and take the elevator down you’ll see the signs toward the studio.”

Valerie nervously nodded and began to walk into the building. She was going to do it and today tell Howie and the rest of the guys about AJ and her. It hadn't been his idea but hers she wanted to prove to him that she did want him in her life. Her sister in the other hand would not find out so soon. “I know there going to laugh,” she whispered to herself. They were especially Howie who knew the rivalry they had sworn to have since they met.

Sure enough like the guard had said she found the many studios and finally she saw the big 34 on a door. There was no turning back, she took a deep breath and walked in.

“Val?” Howie asked with a curious smile on his face. “What are you doing here?” he asked as he hugged her.

“She is here for me,” AJ said before Val could answer.

Suddenly everyone in the room was quiet even Brian who really hadn’t been around lately. But he knew the not so good friendship AJ and Valerie had, who didn’t. “Val don’t hurt him we need him alive for this tour,” Brian joked as he grinned up to see Val blushing.

“I- I,” Valerie suddenly felt like bolting out but one look at AJ she knew she couldn’t. What was the worse that could happen? “Yes I’m here because I have a date with AJ after your rehearsal,” she said fast.

AJ by then had made it to her side and took her hand with his, “So I guess I really don’t need to introduce you here, but just in case. Guys this is Val my girlfriend officially,” he said staring at Howie.

Valerie felt her face redden at Nick’s sudden hysteric laughs, “Not funny Nick,” she finally said looking at Nick with annoyance.

“Oh yeah it is…” he said still laughing but giving Brian a smirk.

“I can’t believe this,” Howie said ignoring Nick’s stupidity. “I don’t understand when did this happen? I’m happy for you both but I am still trying to figure out when this happened, last time I remember you two were barely tolerating each other. How long?” Howie had to stop himself before he drowned them both with to many questions!

“Yeah when did this happen,” Brian said smiling and then turned to Nick.

“I am happy for both of you though,” Nick smiled toward Val.

“We have a lot in common actually,” Val told Howie ignoring Nick’s laughter. “We haven’t been going to long actually just since I arrived right?” she turned to AJ who was just smiling at her.

“Yeah I believe so,” AJ said not taking his stare away from her. “We thought it was time to finally tell you.” he finally looked up and rolled his eyes at Nick.

“Oh come on AJ I just didn’t expect it,” Nick said. “Are we the first to know?”

“Yes,” Valerie said finally looking at them with more confidence.

“No,” AJ answered, “Chris,” he whispered to her.

“Oh right,” she nodded… “For me you are the first.” She corrected.

“Well congrats,” Brian finally said breaking the sudden silence. He hugged Valerie and then looked at AJ. “You need someone like Val,” he told AJ with a smile.

“I should’ve guessed something was up with you two,” Howie said still a little pessimistic eyeing AJ and then Val. “I mean I am really happy for you two but, I was the main witness to both your hostility toward each other… so you have to understand my incomprehension. Just give me a few minutes so it will sink into my head.”

“Well I wanted you to be one of the first people to know, it means a lot to me that your ok with it or I hope you are?” Valerie said eyeing him with curiosity.

Howie took a deep sigh and spoke again, “Ok I’m good, I couldn’t be happy with this out come to of my best friends being together. I just hope this is serious and you two are not pulling a fast one on me,” he pointed AJ first.

“No games,” AJ said, “I can prove that to you,” He said turning and taking Valerie’s face with his hands crashing his lips on hers.

“Okkkkk,” Nick said rubbing the back of his neck. “We get it no need to show anything,” he said pretending to cover his eyes.

Valerie had kissed him back but she was sure she was beet red from embarrassment, “Thanks for that,” she whispered to AJ as she stopped the kiss.

“Ok,” Howie said clearing his throat, “I guess we should call it a day for today…”

“Great idea,” Brian said.

“Please come for dinner tonight both of you, I would like to talk to the both of you in a more suitable place,” Howie said in a pleasant yet worried tone.

“Ok,” Valerie said.

“What time?” AJ asked as he fished out his keys from his pants…

*******

“A little awkward but good right?” Valerie asked AJ as he turned on his car.

“Yeah I guess you could say that, babe relax they are fine about it. It just took them by surprise.” AJ said reassuringly.

“I hope your right,” Valerie said smiling at him. “I do have to confess it felt…I felt good not having to hide this from Howie he’s like my brother.”

“I know,” AJ said as he took her hand in his. “I can’t wait for my mom to find out, she is going to happy I am with someone like you,” He said elated.

“Your mom?” Valerie said swallowing hard.

“Yes my mom she is coming down for a visit and I want us to have dinner with her. I want to introduce you as my girlfriend not my once upon a time rival,” he looked at Valerie with an arched brow.

“Denise is a very nice woman but I really never talked to her, just a polite hello here and there when I would show up at your rehearsals as Howie’s friend.” She shook her head, “I don’t know if I can do it, what am I going to say? Denise I used to hate your son but now my feelings have changed?”

“I will be there too babe don’t worry my mom isn’t like that and I know she will like you… relax it’s not happening tomorrow. You have time to prepare I can tell you a little about her so you don’t feel so intimidated. My mom is cool…I am dreading your family except for Sandy. I clearly remember your mom and dad… not the easiest people in the world when they are so conservative.” He took a deep sigh realization hitting him too… her family was not going to like his look at all.

“Oh please don’t mention my family…” Valerie rolled her eyes. “We don’t have to worry about them yet…” she sighed heavily and spoke again. “I hope your mom does like me, I am not your average girl you know I come with extra weight!”

AJ rolled his eyes at her comment, “Please Val what did I tell you about your comments about yourself? You are beautiful… I like the shirt by the way.” He said trying to lighten the mood. “Ok enough about this… Val we can worry more when go to dinner with Howie, even though I know he is fine. Let’s just enjoy our afternoon ok?”

She smiled at him and leaned in to kiss his cheek, “Ok where are we going?”

“My place,” AJ said giving her a grin. “I want to change first…”

“You look great like that,” she told him.

*********

Valerie waited patiently in the plush couch for AJ to come back from changing. She rubbed AJ’s dog head. “Hey buddy you look bored…” she told him as he lay on her lap.

AJ came back out still pulling his shirt over his head; he smiled as he saw Val’s reaction. “Like what you see?”

Valerie cleared her throat and spoke, “Eh it’s ok…” she laughed and then before he could say something else she spoke again, “Just kidding I do like it a lot actually.”

“So I was thinking?” AJ said smiling as he saw how flushed she was after her comment. “We could stay here for a little and just talk?”

“Hmm…” Valerie said as she leaned into him, he was already sitting next to her. “Sounds fine by me…what are we talking about?”

“About how you never gave me an answer to my offer the other day during breakfast.” He knew that this conversation might ruin the moment but he was really worried about her. He felt her tense and sit back up straight staring at him with a guilty look.

“I don’t need your help with that AJ… I am fine I promise. I just want to make sure I look good in my dress, I don’t want to ruin Sandy’s wedding by looking like a hippo in a pink dress.” She sigh with her eyes shut remembering that morning clearly and his offer of seeing a friend of his a nutritionist he had said.

“Val…please stop that I just want you to understand that not eating is not helping you at all…yes the results you want are showing but you out anyone else should know what its doing in to your body.” He sighed and then he raised his hands in truce, “Never mind Val lets drop the subject, I promised that I would trust you and I know you will do the right thing right?”

She was fuming again but the look he was giving her didn’t help and she agreed by nodding. “I will do the right thing,” she whispered to him as she forced a smile on her face.

AJ didn’t feel any relief with her words he knew better, it sounded like him when he was having issues with his addictions. He would always tell his friends and family that he would do the right thing and quit yet he couldn’t. He knew it was the same for her except her addiction was physically… she was trying to hard to be skinny not caring how she did it. “You are beautiful,” he said before taking her lips in his. “I am here just remember that ok?” he said between the kiss.

“Yes,” she murmured silencing him again with her lips.

“I am happy for you…” Leigh told Valerie as they finished cleaning the dinning room.

“Thank you, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to tell you all. I mean I was afraid you all would not believe me. I still think Howie is a little awkward with it?” Valerie said with a doubtful look on her face.

Leigh sighed and stopped what she was doing, “Val no offense you should not care what Howie thinks but just so you know… he is happy excited just scared for you. He does know AJ quite well you know.” Leigh finished hugging Valerie.

“That’s why I was dreading this you know, I care what Howie thinks because one he knows AJ so well and me well I am like family or I hope so. What do you think he is telling AJ?” Valerie said staring toward the studio room Howie had in his house. “They have been there for a while…”

“Relax Val,” Leigh said with a smile on her face. “I promise AJ will come out in one piece.” She winked at her as she began to take the dirty dished into the kitchen.

**********

“You have a every right to feel like that Howie,” AJ said sighing as he took a seat on one of the chairs in the small studio. “But I can assure you this is real.”

“I don’t want you to think I am against this… I just want to understand how this happened. That’s Val out there giving her heart to you… I want to make sure you are really not going to back away at the first sign of strain between you two. I know Val she is not ordinary…” Howie sighed as he stared at his friend.

AJ nodded in agreement with Howie, “yeah your right about that Val is not ordinary and I think that is part of why I want this to work too. I bonded with her in some way since she arrived and in a good way. I won’t hurt her…”

“I will make sure you won’t,” Howie said in a serious tone but then smiled… “Just make her happy. She needs happiness…”

“More than you think,” AJ sighed as he relaxed knowing Howie was done with all the interrogations toward him.

“What do mean more than I think?” Howie asked arching his brow. He stared at his friend with a curious look.

“I well I kind of know about her ex…” AJ said stuttering knowing well that was not what he was talking about. But he was not going to tell Howie about his worries about her health yet, he wanted to believe that Val would keep her promise and stop what she was doing.

“Ok well then make her happy AJ come on lets go join them I don’t want Val to think I have killed you. AJ I am happy for you two…” Howie told AJ as he patted his shoulder.

********

“You ok?” AJ asked Valerie as they drove away from Howie’s house.“He really is ok with this I just had to reassure him that I was crazy about you,” he smiled at her.

“I know but still it was a little awkward. I am glad though it’s over and now I don’t have to hide this from him or any of your other band mates. I do have a question though,” she told him eyeing him a little nervous.

“Shoot,” he said looking at her curiously.

“How do I prepare myself for your mother’s arrival?” she bit her lip as she asked him.

AJ chuckled a little and then reached for her hand, “Val you don’t need to prepare for anything my mother is not coming to judge you she is here to see me. I am the one who would love for her to meet you and I promise you she is not here to scrutinize you. I know for a fact she will love you because you are making me happy.”

“Its just it’s your mother AJ… I feel a little intimidated.” Valerie said in honesty, this woman was very important to AJ and she was afraid of not being what she would expect of her son. She was fat for one but she wasn’t going to tell him that, apparently he did not like her to be honest about herself.

“Val please this would mean a lot to me and I will gladly meet your family when you are ready for me to meet them.” He kissed her hand gently.

She couldn’t say no to him and she knew that, “Ok but I am still nervous,” she told him as they walked into Blockbuster to rent a movie.

They roamed the lanes trying to find a good one. “Would you take your sunglasses off?” she asked as she stared at him. She looked around and the place was empty no need for them.

He sighed and smiled at her as he removed them, “Better?” he asked as he quickly brushed his lips on hers.

*********

A few minutes later they were walking out of the store with the movies. “So which do you want to watch first?” he asked as he took her hand as they walked to his car.

“I don’t care she told him,” as she gladly let him take her hand this was nice she felt really special.

“Awe come babe choose,” he told her as he opened the door for her.

“Ok fine, Twilight.” She told him smiling at him.

Valerie was trying hard to concentrate on the movie but she couldn’t. AJ was lying on her lap and was caressing her softly and all she could feel was butterflies in her stomach as he would lean up and kiss her every so often.

Alex was not concentrating either and couldn’t keep his hands to himself as he laid on her lap trying to concentrate on the movie. He would smiled up at her and make her blush when she would catch him.

“Do you want something to drink? I need something to drink,” she told him as he moved away from her lap and stood up.

“I’ll go what do you want?” he asked as he leaned in and kissed her deeply making her moan.

“Water please,” she told him as he pulled away and walked out.

"Water it is," he said heading toward the kitchen.

Val watched him walk away and took a deep breath. She wondered if tonight would be the night they made love. She knew she was ready but she wasn’t completely sure AJ was. There had been indications throughout the night, the way he held her and caressed her when he was laying on the couch. The more she thought about it, the more she knew she was ready to give herself to him completely.

AJ returned a moment later with their waters. He broke the seal on one of the bottles and handed it to Val, “here baby.”
She smiled accepting the bottle, “Thanks.”

“Everything okay?” he asked gently.

“Everything’s great.”

“Good.”

He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to hers, and then once again with a little more aggression.

Val broke away and set her bottle on the coffee table before turning back to AJ. She leaned up and kissed him slowly, teasing him with her tongue until his mouth opened. She took the opportunity and slid her tongue into his mouth and touched his tongue with hers.

AJ reached out dropping his bottle on the table and wrapped his arms around Val’s body as he sunk into the kiss. He felt her moaned against his mouth and slowly laid back pulling her body over his.

She broke the kiss and stared down at him for a moment before kissing him again. She felt his hands slowly slide under her shirt and his fingertips gliding up and down her spine.

Val sat up and slid her hands under the t-shirt AJ was wearing and pushed it revealing his strong stomach and chest. She bent down and kissed a path down the center of his chest to belly button. She dragged her tongue back up the path she had just made and sat up to pull his shirt off.

“Wait,” AJ stopped her and sat up forcing her to sit in his lap.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think we should stop. I don’t want to push you too fast and make you do something you’re not ready for.”

“But…” Val looked at him curiously.

“I’m sorry baby. I promise it’s not you. I just think we should wait until you’re sure you’re ok to go that far with me.”

Val watched him for a moment taking in what he was saying. She was actually touched that he felt they should wait but she knew she was ready. Now she just had to prove it to him. She leaned forward a kiss him gently before getting up. “Stay here.”

“Wha…”

“Stay here,” she spoke again before leaving the living room and heading for her bedroom.

She closed the door behind herself and quickly moved around the room cleaning any mess she could find. She was a generally tidy person so it wasn’t a big deal. She went to her closet and pulled out a box of candles that she kept in it and placed them around the room, lighting as she went. She opened the curtain just enough to allow the light from the full moon to flow in. She took her ponytail out and ran her comb through her hair, tousling it slightly with her fingers and then applied a little lip gloss. She gave herself a once over in the mirror before looking over the room. It was the best she could do in a pinch and actually it looked quite romantic with just the candles and moonlight cast a soft glow on the room.

Val opened the door and walked down the hallway, “Alex?”

AJ looked up when he heard her call his name. She was standing in the doorway waiting for him.

“Come here,” she beckoned and he obeyed standing from the couch and walked toward her.

“Yes?” he asked arching his brow.

“Come with me,” she disappeared down the hall and he followed quickly.

When he walked into the room, AJ looked at Val curiously. She stepped in front of him and cupped his cheek gently. “I’m ready.”

He leaned down and kissed her gently, “Are you absolutely sure? I don’t want to rush.”

“I’m positive. Now kiss me,” she grabbed his face and pulled him down to her to kiss him.

AJ’s arms wrapped around her body and pulled her close. Val stepped back pulling him with her until her legs hit the bed. He leaned down and lifted her up laying her across the bed. He kissed her quickly before slowly trailing his lips down the side of her neck, across her collarbone and up the other side. Val moaned softly and slid her hands under his shirt pulling it as she went. AJ lifted his head long enough to pull the shirt off and toss it to the floor before bringing his mouth back down to hers. As they kissed their tongues caressing and flicking he lifted her shirt up.

AJ sat up and pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor with his own. Val instinctively sucked in her stomach. “No baby,” he shook his head and placed his hand on her side, “I want to see all of you.”

She looked up at him for a minute before letting out her breath allowing her stomach to return to its full rounded shape. She could feel a blush start to cover her as he gazed at her body taking her in.

“You are beautiful sweetheart.”

She bit her lip and smiled shyly, “Thank you.”

“Can I take these off?” AJ asked gently his hand on the button of her pants.

“Yes,” she whispered.

He flicked up the button and pulled the zipper down. Val sucked in a breath when she felt his finger so close to her warm center. He grabbed the sides of her pants and pulled slightly. “Lift up for me sweetheart.”

She did as he asked and lifted her hips allowing him to remove her jeans and panties at the same time. He leaned down and kissed her belly button, as he reached behind her to unhook her bra. He peeled it away and off, tossing it aside. A deep blush covered her body as AJ took in every inch of her skin before him. When he didn’t say anything or move for nearly a minute she grew self conscious and moved to cover herself.

AJ grabbed her hands to stop her, “No. You are beautiful Valerie.” He leaned down and kissed her, covering her body with his. Val wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly as their tongues locked together in an erotic duel. The need for air forced Val to break the kiss.

“I think you’re a little over dressed.” AJ smirked at her and sat up to undo the bottom of his jeans. Val swatted his hands away and undid the button and pulled the zipper down. Together they managed to pull his jeans and boxers off. AJ kicked them to the floor and covered her body once more. He kissed her gently before proceeding to cover every inch of her body with kisses. Val moaned softly as his lips and fingertips trailed over her skin.

She sucked in a surprised gasp when his fingers made contact with her heated center. She felt his fingers push forward and she groaned at the contact. AJ lifted his head and looked down at her as his fingers slowly pumped inside her.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh god!” she groaned.

“Babe?”

“God don’t stop.”

He smiled softly and kissed her, “That’s only the beginning. Are you ready?”

“Yes. God yes!”

He removed his hand lifted her leg up wrapping it around his waist, “Put your arms around me.”

She wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him as he slowly pushed forward.

“Oh god,” Val groaned at the feeling of being connected.

“Valerie,” he moaned out softly, “god you feel good.” She moaned softly, “Please move. I need to feel you.”

AJ kissed her again and took up a slow rhythm rocking against her and thrusting into her gently.

“Oh, more. Please,” Val moaned out.

“Yes,” he moaned and picked up his pace gradually until they were thrusting against each other.

“Yes. Alex. Yes!” Val chanted over and over as the feelings of ecstasy began to roll over her rapidly.

“Oh baby. Come with me,” AJ moaned, “Valerie!”

“Alex!” she called out as they came together.

AJ carefully lowered his body on her and let go of her leg.

“Wow!” she breathed.

He lifted his head and kissed her, “You okay?”

“Oh god yeah. Thank you.” she gave him a genuine smile pulling him back to her kissing him fully on the lips.

********

Valerie danced to the radio in low volume. She continued to flip the pancakes she was making. AJ was still sleeping in the room and she got idea of surprising him with breakfast in bed. She was into what she had on the stove she didn’t realize she already had an audience.

AJ’s smile spread as he watched Valerie dancing and cooking. He could get use this, finally he cleared his throat and walked toward her. “I smell food and I am starving…” he said startling Valerie. “Sorry,” he chuckled as she jumped with surprise.

“AJ! I was going to take you breakfast to bed… how long have you been up?” she asked him as she leaned in to give him a kiss. “I guess we can have breakfast on the table.” she said after breaking the kiss to flip a pancake.

“Need help? I finish cooking and you dance…” he said smirking at her.

She rolled her eyes and took a strawberry from the bowl she had prepared, “Maybe another day… I actually have to work today. I believe you have to be at the studio as well,” she told him.

“Shit, your right… I wish we could just stay here forever.” He told her helping with the rest of the plates.

They ate in silence giving each other glances like high school kids, “I will see you later right?” Val asked him after forcing another bite down her throat.

“Of course I will pick you up at work and then we go to my place this time.” he said with a grin on his face.

*********

“Coming,” Sandy called from the kitchen as her doorbell rang. She ran to the door and opened it without checking who it was. “Raul? What have I told you?”

“Sandy,” Raul smiled at her. “I was in the neighborhood honestly and I couldn’t stop myself from coming and saying hello. How’s Vale?”

“Raul we were never really good friends so you shouldn’t have felt bad about not passing by. I told you I will never tell you anything about my sister… she is happy leave her alone. She is over you!” Sandy said anger now apparent in her voice.

“I know she looks happy in the picture I got from one of our old friends in South Carolina. She emailed me this picture,” he said pulling out a print out and handing it to Sandy.

Sandy looked at the picture and was startled but tried to hide her shock. “So what? I knew she was happy and he makes her happy.” She glanced at the picture again of AJ and her sister walking out a Video store holding hands!

“So you know who he is then right?” Raul said a small grin on his face.

“That is none of your business…” Sandy said tearing the picture. “Oh but it is when he is a celebrity,” Raul said lighting a cigarette.

“Val and I never broke up…she is my girlfriend she loves me. I will find her, that fagot is only using her come on look at Valerie she could never be with someone like that…I am getting her back.” he told her walking away with a smile on his face.

“Sandy! Will you let me explain? I didn’t tell you because we barely started dating… of course I trust you! I just needed time to tell you.” Valerie sighed into her phone. “How did you find out?”

“Well I don’t know if you know this but AJ is a Backstreet boy… so he has paparazzi following him around right?” Sandy said with annoyance. “Raul knows…” She finally said the only reason why she had called her first off.

“Wha- what do you mean Raul knows.” Valerie said panic clear in her voice.

“Yeah he came around looking for you again and showed me the picture he received by email by someone back in South Carolina.” Sandy said all at once. “He told me he’s going to look for you Val.”

“He wouldn’t… I am prepared to fight him Sandy. He messed up big time for many years…” Val said gritting her teeth remembering her relationship with Raul.

“Just be careful sweetie, will you call me soon to tell me more about AJ and you?” Sandy asked her sister a little worried with her decision to fight Raul.

“Yeah I just need to clear my head first…thanks for warning me Sandy. Say hi to mom and pops ok? I have to go.” Valerie said shutting her cell phone shut once she had done it that she screamed. “He wouldn’t…” she repeated to herself.

********

It had been two weeks since Sandy’s call and Valerie was surprised to see that Raul had just been bluffing. She had clearly told him to not get near her again, now here she was rushing to get ready for work.

“I have to run I can’t believe we overslept,” Valerie said bending to kiss AJ. “Lock up when you leave. Later,” she yelled but giggled when she felt AJ’s hand pull her down to him again. “I really have to go, I can’t be late…”

“Ok…” AJ said letting go of her. He kissed her once more, “I have to go pick up my mother today so I will call you so we can make arrangements.”

“Oh…right your mom is arriving today. Has it been two weeks already?” she bit her lip nervously. “Just let me know when ok?” she told him kissing him one more time and finally ran out of her bedroom.

*******

“Morning…” Stacy said as she held the elevator for Valerie. “Running late today?”

“Yeah kind of, how are you this fine morning?” Valerie asked as she pushed the button to her destination.

“Good…. I have my coffee in hand so I’ll manage. How about you?” Stacy asked as she took a sip of her coffee.

“I probably will get something from the cafeteria didn’t get a chance to get breakfast today.” She blushed a little remembering the night before.

“I heard today was Betty’s last day. She is heading back to Africa with Doctors without Borders.”

“Great I just wish she would take her husband with her… I can’t stand him he is acting so nice with her here.” Valerie said right before the elevator came to a stop.

“Well see you at lunch time?”

“Yeah later, I have to talk you about something kind of important.” Stacy said winking at her before the elevator doors closed.

*********

“Wow you look handsome,” Denise said as she embraced her son in a warm hug. “You look good I assume you’ve been eating right.” She told him pinching his cheeks.

“Nice to see you too mom, please stop that I am not ten anymore.” AJ said as he helped his mother with her luggage. “Ready?”

“Yeah let’s go I can’t wait to see Howie’s baby.” Denise said with excitement as she followed her son to his car.

“It’s open,” AJ said as he put his mother’s luggage in the back. A few minutes later he was in the driver’s seat pulling out of the airport.

“How’s work? How’s everyone back home?”

“Good they send there hello’s” Denise said looking at her son suspiciously. “Something is different from the last time we spoke,” she finally said.

AJ laughed lightly, “Nothing is different mom I am still the same, well I did get this new tattoo.” He smiled and cleared his throat, “well there is someone new in my life… well I don’t know if you can say new but.”
“Do I know her?” she asked excitedly.

********

“What a day!” Stacy said sitting next to Valerie in the cafeteria. “I have been working nonstop…”

“Yeah me too and not only that I got the invitation for a little goodbye party they are throwing for Betty after work.” Valerie sighed as she took a sip of her water.

“Me too… Are you going?” Stacy asked as she took a bite of her burger.

“I don’t think so,” Valerie answered.

“Well if you change your mind let me know.” Stacy said as she stared at Valerie and her salad untouched at the moment. “So Josh called me the other night very curious about something he saw in this gossip website…” Stacy said trying to find the right way to ask her if she was dating the guy she had left with the night they had gone out.

“Ahh, so this was the question… I guess you can tell Josh that it’s true. Its still in the early stages but we both are trying.” Valerie said finally taking a fork full of her salad. She a least had to control what she said when not around AJ.

“So is that all I am going to get?” Stacy asked a crooked smile on her face.

“For now yes… maybe later we can talk. I have to go back to work….later!” Valerie said giving her a smirk. “Later I promise.”

*********

“Yeah? Ok so Saturday then… I am going to miss you till then.” Valerie told AJ as punched out for the day.

“Val it’s only for one day… Saturday I’ll find a way to go over for the night after we have dinner with mom. She is very excited to see you…”

“Ok well bye I’ll talk to you later tonight at least right?” Valerie asked with a smile on her face when she realized how close she suddenly had become with him.

“Yes I’ll call you… love you bye.”

“Me too,” she managed to say before she heard him click. He was still in the studio so he was in a hurry.

“Valerie wait!” Martha the other intern in that area yelled.

“Yes?” Valerie asked spinning around to face her.

“You got something it’s in the waiting area…” She told her with a big smile on her face.

“What did I get?” Valerie asked curiously.

“Oh you’ll see come on now,” Martha said pulling her toward the waiting.

Valerie walked quickly to keep up with Martha and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the big bouquet of her favorite flower. “My… wow.” She smiled and had to touch one of the cal lilies to make sure they were real.

********

She placed the flowers on the center table and just admired them. There had not been a note or nothing on them. AJ was really trying to get her at ease for Saturday. Howie must have told him which was her favorite flower. She was startled by her phone and smiled when she saw it was AJ. “Hello,” she said excitedly. “You’re calling early.”

“Yeah well I am driving home and I thought I could hear your lovely voice while I drive. How was work?” AJ asked Val.

“Good busy but I am loving every minute of it.” Valerie wanted to scream thank you but she was hoping AJ would bring the flowers up himself.

“That’s good babe I can’t wait for you to be my doctor…” he told her.

“I can’t be your doctor silly I am specializing in infants.” Valerie laughed lightly… “But I will gladly be your nurse anytime.” She couldn’t believe she had said that.

“Oh I like that idea…Hey babe call you later I just parked. Love you.”

“Wait I wanted to thank you for today…” Valerie couldn’t hold it anymore. “The flowers are beautiful…”

AJ was a little surprised at the mention of flowers, “What Flowers babe?”

“I have to run a quick errand mom, do you mind staying here for little while alone?” AJ asked his mother as he handed her the sandwich from Jason’s Deli.

“That’s fine sweetie go ahead then we can go out…” Denise told her son as she looked at him curiously.

“Its nothing bad I just forgot something at the studio…” he hated lying to his mother but this was not something he wanted her to know at least not yet. He left before she asked more questions.

A few minutes later he was pulling up into Val’s apartment’s parking lot. He finished his cigarette and walked into the lobby and quickly pushed the button to the elevators door. He wasn’t jealous he was just concerned right? Yeah that was what he kept telling himself as he rode the elevator in silence and alone. He knew Val was not the kind to cheat and besides, then she would have not said anything about the flowers she had received.

He sighed in relief as he walked out of the elevator and toward Val’s apartment. He took a deep breath and knocked. He smiled automatically as he saw her open the door, “Hey,” he said leaning in to kiss her lips softly.

“Hey I thought you said you were going to call me tonight?” she said curiously smiling a little after seeing him there at her apartment. She sighed as she realized why he really was there… the flowers. “I threw them away,” she told him with a smile on her face.

“What?” he asked looking at her curiously.

“The flowers AJ I threw them away as soon as I found out you had not sent them to me.” she told him getting closer to him.

“So you don’t know who sent them to you?” he asked smiling a little more with her confession about the flowers.

She looked down frowning she had a clue on who it was because there was one person who would always get her cal lilies when he was trying to apologize after messing up… Raul. “No,” she stammered. She was not ready to tell him that her ex was in search for her. She honestly thought that he had given up since he had not shown up right after telling her sister about it. AJ already had someone to worry about at the moment, his mother.

“I do… I bet it’s that prick of a doctor… what was his name?” he asked.

“I really don’t know AJ, maybe but I will clear it out with him when I go to work again.” Val told him as she hugged him kissing the crook of his neck.

“Don’t do that,” he giggled as he wrapped his hands around her waist. “I can’t stay long…”

“Awe,” she told him kissing him upwards to his chin and finally his mouth. “So why come and tease me?” she asked pulling away from the kiss.

“I was just a little worried about the whole flower incident,” he sighed as he took her mouth back with his own.

She pulled away with a smile on her face, “Liar… you got jealous didn’t you?”

He rolled his eyes a little, “maybe a little.” He cleared his throat, “I don’t send flowers I deliver them in person.”

She giggled a little, “I didn’t know that now I know,” she told him kissing him lightly. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t tease you I – those flowers don’t mean anything to me. You do,” she told.

“I know, they better not mean something,” he said laughing lightly. “I have to go, but I will see you on Saturday.”

“No, wait…” she told him wrapping her arms around his neck.

********

Valerie walked in a fast pace toward the elevators. She grunted softly as she heard someone clear her throat.

“So flowers were delivered to yesterday? It’s nice to see you have forgotten so quickly about me?” Dr Bates said.

“We had nothing,” Valerie said grinding her teeth. “I have to get to work,” she told him rolling her eyes as she walked away without another word.

She didn’t breathe till she was in her floor and checking on her first patient. “Hello there,” she told the little baby boy she saw in front of her.

******

Valerie sighed as she walked out of the elevator, “what a day…” she mumbled as she looked through her purse for her phone. It had been one heck of a day for her she was put to the test with one of her patients. But she smiled because she had enjoyed it though. It was her first time in the O.R. with such a small baby. He was barely learning to live and already had to go through heart surgery.

“I heard about the surgery nice job Val,” Stacy said as she walked up to her.

“Yeah it was intense but I learned a lot. We saved a baby as well,” Valerie gloated at that thought.

“Nice,” Stacy said looking at her with a smile. Valerie was smiling with satisfaction clear on her face. “Lucky you…”

“Yeah well I have to go I have some things to do for tomorrow,” Val said smiling back at Stacy.

“Really?” Stacy asked curiously.

“Yeah I will tell you soon I promise,” Val told her giving her a smile.

“I will remind you,” Stacy told her as she walked back to the elevators.

“Yeah, yeah…” Valerie chuckled as she walked toward the exit. She was checking her voicemail she didn’t see that someone was waiting for her with a calla lily in hand.

“Valerie Patricia Mendez you look great,” Raul said with a crooked smile on his face.

Valerie stopped in her tracks and turned to face where the voice came from. She grimaced as she saw Raul standing there gallantly with a flower in hand it was a yellow calla lily her favorite. “What are you doing here,” she said between her gritted teeth.

“Hostile,” Raul said walking up to her. “I compliment you something that I normally don’t do and you talk to me like that?” he said handing her the flower he had in his hand.

Valerie stared at the flower but did not take it, “That is all you deserve from me Raul… What do you expect? For me to jump on you and tell you I am happy to see you?” she asked him as she began to walk away from him.

“Ok I deserve that,” Raul said still extending the flower toward her as he followed her out of the hospital.

“No you deserve much more,” Valerie said bluntly picking up her pace. “Go to hell Raul,” she said.

Raul ran and got in front of her stopping her, “Wait,” he said getting closer to her. “I came here for two reasons one to tell you I am sorry and that I was a prick. Two,” He said as he paused and took her hand forcing her to take the flower. “I want you back Val… I’ve realized that I am in love with you.”

Valerie froze as she heard him speak and then hit him with the flower he had just made her take. She hit him till the flower was destroyed and the pieces lay on the pavement, “Have you lost your mind or what? I will never go back with you.” She pushed her way through and continued her path to her destination stopping realizing it was not a good idea to show him where she stayed. She took out her phone and dialed a familiar number.

Raul smiled and followed her silently he was going to let his words sink in. He knew Valerie like the palm his hand. He watched her and how much she had changed from the last time he had seen her. Before she had left him, he remembered it clearly…

[Flashback]

“Oh shut the hell up Val I already told you she is just a friend.” Raul yelled at Valerie as he took a beer out of the fridge.

“I didn’t know you greet all your friends like that,” Val said with anger, she had had enough and was glad she wouldn’t see him again. Raul did not know that she had been accepted to intern far away. “Go to hell and don’t expect me to do your work tonight,” Val said flicking him off as she walked away and to the room she shared with Raul.

“Right lock yourself in there do you want me to bring you some food to comfort you? So you can get fatter?” Raul yelled at the closed door. “I’ll see you later!”

*****

Raul returned like always early in the morning just to get a few hours of sleep before his classes, he struggled with the key to the apartment he shared with Valerie. “Finally,” he muttered as he sluggishly walked toward the room surprised it was slightly open. He sobered up as he saw that his clothes were thrown every where and that most of Valerie stuff was gone.

“What the?” Raul said as he walked into the bathroom to find that all of Val’s jewelry and make up was gone. Then it him she had left… but she would be back she always came back. He was probably at Jessica’s dorm room where she ran when she was mad at him.

[End of Flashback]

He shook his face remembering the fact that Valerie never came back. He was not going to let her go that easy and he knew that if he wanted her back he had to be a gentleman. He was going to win her back swoon her. He was going to play the nice repentant ex-boyfriend who could not live without her.

He was about to speak again but was brought back from his thoughts when he saw a woman pickup Valerie and glare at him. Who the hell was that? He thought to himself as he smiled at Val and waved as the woman in the car sped away. This was not over…

“Sorry for calling you like that Leigh,” Valerie kept apologizing to Leigh.

“Its fine I was around the area, maybe we should tell Howie and you should tell AJ…” Leigh told her.

“No, I think he understood that I didn’t want to see him again. See you don’t understand Raul is a possessive person he would’ve of come after me. I guess he really has changed a little to fucking late though.” Valerie said with anger in her voice.

Leigh looked at her worriedly, “I just think you should tell someone, I didn’t like the way he was looking at us as we drove away.”

“I will talk to AJ…” she told Leigh omitting the word eventually.

“I hope you do,” Leigh told her giving her a smile. “So how about you go shopping with me?”

“Like this?” she asked Leigh as she pointed at her scrubs.

“Yes, it’s not like people don’t go shopping sometimes in there work attire. Beside I heard about you meeting a certain someone tomorrow.” Leigh said het smile widening.

*********

“Ready?” AJ asked his mother as he grabbed his car keys.

“Yes,” Denise said smiling at her son. “I can’t wait to meet this gal. I am anxious to see who it is and why you haven’t told me who.”

“Mom you’ll love her and I must warn you she is not like anyone I ever dated before so please. Just trust me I am happy ok?” AJ told his mother as he opened the door for her.

A few minutes later they were driving to the restaurant he had made reservations in. “I’m starving,” he said after so much silence.

“Yeah I am hungry too… So you’re not going to tell me her name?” Denise asked curiously.

“Not yet just be patient mom,” AJ teased her with a grin on his face.

**********

“Thank you,” Valerie paid the cab and walked to the entrance of the restaurant. She smiled shyly as told them who she was here to see.

She was conscious of her look and had decided on wearing a nice black dress that to her opinion hid her fat well. She bit her lip nervously as she followed the waiter to where AJ and his mother waited.

AJ’s smiled widened as he saw Val walking, she looked gorgeous. He stood up as she came near, “Hey babe,” he told her leaning in to give her a peck.

Valerie felt her face burn a little and knew that meant she was blushing. “Hey,” she managed to tell him.

“Mom this is Valerie… my girlfriend.” AJ said, “Val you remember my mom right?”

“Oh my Valerie?” Denise said surprised as she stood up and hugged the young woman. “You look great…”

“Thanks Mrs. M… Solis,” she corrected herself remembering AJ told her she had remarried.

“Please call me Denise,” she said as she continued to look at her in awe. “Wow you live in California now?”

Valerie cleared her throat as AJ helped her sit, “Yes I actually have an internship at Cedars so that’s why I moved down her.”

“Oh wow congratulations dear,” Denise said as she glanced at her son. She couldn’t help but notice how her son looked at her.

**********

Valerie sighed heavily as she looked at herself in the mirror. She felt so awkward with Denise because she knew Denise knew about her issues from her teenage years. Even if Denise had been so nice to her so far she saw the look of wonder as well.

Now here she was at AJ’s house and for the first time she was ready to go. She washed her hands for the fourth time, “I can do this,” she whispered to herself.

She was startled when she heard the soft knock on the door, “Val you ok?” AJ asked concerned.

She opened the door slowly, “Yeah I’m fine…” she forced a smile on her face.

AJ smiled at her and leaned in to give her a peck on the lips, “You have made an impression on my mother…a good one.” He told her as he caressed her face, “she is proud of me dating someone who is going somewhere in life.”

Valerie smiled at his comment, “Well let’s not tell her I am at the verge of loosing my internship then,” she laughed lightly. “Kidding,” she said as she saw the look on AJ’s face.

“Come let’s go she is waiting on us,” AJ said grabbing her hand in his.

“Hey your back come here seat with me Valerie we have a lot of catching up.” Denise said as she saw her son and Valerie walk out to the patio.

******

It was Sunday morning and she lay awake in her bed. The dinner yesterday had gone well and Denise seemed ok with there relationship. Yet she had a feeling she was going to hear more from her soon.

“At least its over,” she said as she finally got out of bed. She began to gather everything she needed for her shower, when she heard her doorbell.

“Coming,” Valerie yelled as she remembered that AJ was going to come over early to pick her up. They were going to out with Denise, she had only agreed because she knew AJ wanted it.

She was so sure it was AJ she did not even bother to look through the peep hole. “He-” she stopped in mid word when she saw who stood there. She tried to close the door but it was useless he was able to get in.

“Good Morning Preciosa,” Raul said as he walked into her apartment. “Nice place,” he said as he looked around the living room.

“How did you…” she couldn’t even finish her sentence she was still trying to figure out how he had found her.

“I have my ways,” he said as he took out a print out from one of his pockets. “So is this getting serious? I mean it says you met his mother last night.” Raul told her as he flashed a picture of the dinner she had with AJ and his mom.

“It’s none of your business Raul, lárgate!” She told him as she held the door to her apartment open.

“Oh come on Val I just want to talk. I come in peace and like I told you yesterday… I want you back. So how about you get ready and you accept my invitation to lunch?” Raul said keeping his cool. If he really wanted to get her back he had to first try being nice. If then she still did not see the whole picture then he would force her.

Raul obliged for that time and left her but not before surprising her with a kiss. A forceful kiss that caught her by surprise. She pushed him away wiping her mouth, “Get out,” she told him angrily.

After he left she went to get ready and after washing her mouth a few times she waited patiently for AJ or at least she tried to feel at ease. It seemed like an eternity when she heard the knock this time though she made sure to look through the peephole. “Hello,” she said putting on her best smile as she leaned in to kiss him on the lips, only to feel retched as she remembered the earlier events.

“Hey,” he wrapped his arms around her waist as he deepened the kiss.

Valerie had for an instant completely forgotten about everything but that moment as AJ assaulted her tongue. Finally realizing that his mother must be near or waiting on them she pulled away blushing, “Your mother is waiting…” she told him caressing his cheek as he pouted.

AJ sheepishly smiled and then cleared his throat, “She sends her sincere apology but she just could not turn down Leigh and her invitation to some well deserved shopping with the company of little James.”

“Oh,” Valerie said a little baffled did Denise not like her? Why had she canceled?

“But she does expect us to join her at Howie’s house later for dinner.” He finished looking at her curiously. “She really was looking forward to going out with us but she also wanted to enjoy time with little James since I apparently haven’t given her a grandson to look after.” He felt the need to explain that to her.

“So what now?” She asked him pushing away her thoughts.

“Well…” AJ said guiding her to the couch. “I have a few ideas in mind but they all take place here.” He told her grinning.

*********

“Do I really look ok?” Valerie asked AJ one more time as she pulled her shirt down. “I feel like sack of potatoes in this shirt.”

AJ looked at her serious, “You look good babe,” he said pulling her toward him. “I would prefer you in nothing but then that might cause trouble.”

Valerie laughed and hugged him leaning her head on him. “So after we meet with Nick at this place for a while then we’ll head to Howie’s right?”

“That’s the plan,” he said kissing her hair. “Are you going to dance with me?”

“What?” she said pulling away to look at him. “What do you mean dance, are we going to a club?”

“Yes and I expect for you to dance with me…” he said giving her a grin.

“Then maybe I should change,” she said looking down at the shirt she was wearing.

AJ sighed and then took her face in his hands making her look at him, “No I like that shirt it fits you perfectly… and you look very sexy in it.” He then kissed her to prevent her rebuttal.

********

“Babe,” AJ said as he saw the flashing cameras and the crowd in front the new club. “Are you going to be ok with this?” he asked as he stopped there walk.

“I will never know until I try…” she told him with a nervous smile. She wanted to tell him no and run the opposite way but if she wanted this to work she had to try. It was apparent that his fans already knew something; she remembered the print out Raúl had showed her earlier.

“Let me do all the talking ok? We will try to go in quick,” AJ reassured her taking her hand in his.

“I’m glad I decided to change,” she told him laughing nervously. This dress made her look a little slim.

AJ rolled his eyes at her comment, “You look good in anything Val,” he said as they began to walk again.

Valerie held to AJ’s hand tight as they got closer to the entrance. She had learned that Nick’s friend was the owner and wanted him to be here on the opening night. So of course Nick had made some calls as well that included AJ and whoever else he knew. Now here they were with a paparazzi infested entrance, “Kevin?” she heard AJ say as they made there way into the club.

“Alex,” Kevin said smiling as he walked toward him and whoever he had with him. “Nice to see you… so Nick called you too?”

“Yeah of course,” AJ said hugging his friend and his wife. “You remember Valerie right?” he said when he saw the curious look on Kevin’s face.

“Oh wow Valerie how are you? Brian had told me you were in Cali; you got an internship didn’t you?” Kevin said hugging her catching her by surprise.

“Hey Kev,” Valerie said shyly, it had been a while since she had seen Kevin. “Kristen how are you?” she asked his wife also hugging her. She did remember her from back in the days when Kevin would just talk about her.

“I’m good, how about you? You look good…” Kristen said looking at her.

“Yeah you look great actually,” Kevin said remember the robust little girl from Florida. “If I recall well you and Alex never got along…” he said eyeing them curiously especially since there hands were intertwined.

“Well….” AJ was about to answer but before he could flashes from cameras and questions from many different people bombarded them.

“I think we should head in,” Kevin said as he smiled at the cameras and waved with a small smile on his face.

“AJ so when is your solo album coming out?”

AJ smiled and then turned to answer the question, “Soon first I’m working with the guys in our upcoming album and then I will finish mine. I am planning for it to come out soon after Backstreet’s comes out.” He then waved and smiled to the camera. He began to guide Valerie inside when someone else interrupted.

“So rumors amongst your fans are your no longer single is that true?”

AJ looked at Val who had been quiet all long, “I’m not single and very happy. I hope my fans are happy to know that I have found happiness.” He did not wait for more questions and entered the club where he right away spotted Nick already hugging Kevin.

“AJ, Val glad you two made it.” Nick said hugging them. “This is so cool,” he said as they all sat in the VIP area.

Valerie leaned into AJ’s shoulder and whispered, “Thank you,” she told him kissing him on his cheek.

AJ did not need more explanation he knew why she was thanking him, “I am happy with you,” he whispered back at her.

The rest of the night she got to see how much Nick, AJ, and Kevin got along. It seemed that there really was no hard feelings after Kevin’s departure. Kristen was very excited in showing her a picture of Mason, he was adorable. It really was a nice night and she had completely forgotten anything else. It wasn’t till she felt AJ tap her, “We have to go…” he told her.

She obliged and stood up saying there good byes, “It was really nice seeing you again Kev,” Valerie told Kevin.

“Yeah same here hopefully you and AJ can visit us sometime.”

“We’ll make plans,” AJ said hugging him.

After saying good bye to Nick and his friend they left and even though there were still paparazzi outside AJ ignored them all just smiling and waving. “Sorry I’m kind of in hurry,” was all he commented as he walked away with Valerie by his side.

Valerie smiled to herself maybe it would be ok to be dating someone famous. She cleared her throat and spoke, “So what are we eating at Howie’s?”

“I have no idea…” AJ said laughing as they made it to his car.

“Your AJ’s new girlfriend aren’t you?”

Valerie only smiled nervously as she pushed the shopping cart to exit that lane. That had been a big mistake as she realized the two girls were still following her. She was getting impatient as she heard them mumbling about how she was big.

“I don’t see what he sees in her…”

Valerie took a deep breath and decided it was better if she left. It was apparent she would not get anymore shopping done. It was now evident that his fans had found out about there relationship.

“He must be using her for something… I mean seriously look at her.”

That was it Valerie turned and glared at the girls. “You know what whatever you may think AJ’s reasons for dating me are that’s your opinion and you have the right to think them but it’s really rude to say them in front of me. I really care for him and I think that is all that should concern you! Now if you wish for him to change his mind talk to him and not try to intimidate me…. it won’t work.” With that Valerie left the shopping cart there and just walked out of the grocery store.

She was mad but not because of what they were saying, but because she felt it was true. So instead of taking a cab back to her apartment she decided to walk. Now she was determined to loose more weight.

**********

“I’m sorry AJ I have to cancel the dinner at my apartment. I got a call from the hospital and I am needed. Please apologize to your mother I promise I will make it up to you both.” Valerie said as she heard AJ sigh into the phone.

“Babe…I understand and I am sure mom will too.” AJ said sadness evident in his voice.

Once he hung up his phone he walked out to the patio where his mother sat. “Mom… Val just called she had to cancel tonight’s plans. She was called into work all day.”

“Well its ok I can cook tonight. I missed doing that for you.” Denise smiled at her son and then finally she had to ask him. “Alex can I ask you something?”

“Yeah what’s up mom,” AJ said taking a seat next to her.

“I’m a little worried with your relationship with Valerie. Now before you take it the wrong way… I am not worried about her not liking you. It’s very obvious she is into you by the way she looks at you. But I am afraid about you? Do you really see yourself with someone like her? I mean I have witnessed every relationship you’ve been in and by far this is the most different.”

AJ looked as his mom puzzled, “Don’t tell you me you too… If your talking about her physical appearance or her past. Mom I am very aware of her appearance and she is not that big. I really like her she is sweet and we connected in another level. We are taking it slow.”

“Ok, I just know you Alex you like to please people and what will happen when your fans or management start to tell you she is not suitable for you?” Denise asked as she patted her son’s knee. “Have you thought about that?”

“I know what I want mom and if they don’t like it they can go to he-,” he stopped himself from saying what he was going to say. “I know we are not going to have an easy relationship but we will work it out when we get there.”

“I just don’t want you or her to get hurt.” Denise said sighing. “But your right you know what your doing and I just want to let you know I am here for anything ok? Now let’s go see what we have to work with for supper.”

“Don’t even bother… lets go grocery shopping.” AJ said giving her a smile.

********

“Are you ok Miss Mendez?”

“Yes I am so sorry doctor,” Valerie said blushing as she realized she got caught off guard.

“Something is bothering you dear?” Dr. Sanders said as they finished checking the baby.

“Well can I ask you something Dr. Sanders?” Valerie asked her as they walked into the hallway.

“Yes dear what is it?”

Valerie bit her lip and then she spoke, “I was considering Plastic surgery and I was wondering if you knew of a good doctor for that?”

Dr. Sanders stopped and turn to face her, “Plastic Surgery? What exactly?”

“Well I was thinking of lipo and tummy tuck? I want to see if I can get the lap band as well.”

“Valerie you’re too young to think of the Lap band and you can loose weight with the proper diet.” Dr. Sanders told her giving her a reassuring smile.

“I’ve tried diets Dr. they don’t work I end up gaining it again. I know I need plastic surgery.” Valerie said a little frustrated by Dr. Sanders answer to her simple question.

“I’ll tell you what? I have a friend Dr. Ramirez she is Plastic Surgeon she has her practice a few miles from here. I can schedule you an appointment with her and have her examine you? She will tell you if you really need it or not?”

“I would appreciate that Dr. Sanders?” Valerie said with a sigh of relief. She was determined to convince Dr. Ramirez that she needed Plastic Surgery.

*******

It was eleven at night and her shift would be over. Valerie felt a little relieved though cause at she knew she would go see someone soon that would help her. Even if she did not want to admit it what those girls at the grocery store kept saying about her.

She began to wonder if maybe they were right. Maybe Alex wasn’t for her? She finally punched out and began to walk out of the Cedars when she felt the presence of someone walking beside her.

“What the fuck are you doing here Raul?” She asked as she saw who it was.

“Ok listen to me Valerie; I understand you no longer want to do anything with me. But please give me a chance to show you I am sorry and that I want to be your friend. I won’t try to force myself on you just let me try and be your friend. We been through so much together and now that I am living here I would love to have a friend I know from home.” Raul gave her his best smile.

“Raul… give me space. I can’t or don’t want anything to do with you at this moment. Just go and give me space.” Valerie said with frustration.

“Fine I’ll go but I am here for you. I just want you to allow me your friendship.” Raul told her as he handed her a piece of paper with his phone number. “I am here for you.” he leaned in and kissed her cheek. He smiled at her and walked away hoping his new scheme would work.

Soon after watching Raul walk away she balled up the paper but somehow could not throw it away and shoved it in her purse.

***********

“Valerie when my good friend called me about seeing you I agreed with one condition. You will follow whatever I suggest. I am foremost a nutritionist and to me the best way to loose weight is by eating properly.” Dr. Ramirez told Valerie as she weighed her.

“I hope you can help me, I have tried several diets and haven’t been successful.”

“Well just by looking at you Valerie I can assess that you don’t qualify for the lap band. You only weight two hundred and ten pounds. I was looking at the form you filled out for me and on it you wrote you weigh almost three hundred.” Dr. Ramirez stated as she wrote down Valerie’s actual weight.

“I did weigh that I guess my walking has helped and the stress from my new job.” Valerie said blushing a little realizing she had actually lost quite a few pounds.

“I want to run some tests, just some lab works that’s all and I will see you here in two weeks so we can discuss what we are going to do. I think that with the proper diet and exercise you can loose the rest of the extra weight. After that we can talk about some plastic surgery. Your really pretty Valerie and you’re a Latina like me we have curves we just have to keep them in shape.”

“Ok I’ll be here in two weeks then,” Valerie said smiling at the doctor.

“Oh and Valerie…” Dr. Ramirez said before Valerie left to get her labs done. “I do see some slight changes in your skin that tell me you’re not eating properly. That is not good you and I both know it. So what I do want you to do in these two weeks is to incorporate this list of foods in you everyday consumption. I wrote exactly how much of each you need; before we can start any treatment your body has to be able to handle the change. Unfortunately your body is already showing some signs of starvation and so I need you to start eating… not just salads. Not all women that have Anorexia Nervosa are super thin some started when they were really big.” She gave her the list and smiled. “Its scary I know Valerie but what you are doing is not the best way to get what you want to accomplish.”

“Thanks,” Valerie said smiling a little as she took the paper.

*******

Valerie looked at her watch it was after five when she arrived at her apartment. She was tired and yet a little hopeful Dr. Ramirez seemed to understand her, “Fuck I need a cigarette.” She told herself as the elevator doors to her floor opened.

“I was just about to leave,” AJ said as he leaned on Valerie’s door his keys in hand.

“Hey,” Valerie said a smile spreading on her face. “I’m sorry I was really busy.”

“Yeah?” AJ said removing his sunglasses and looking at her sternly. “I went to look for you and the girl Stacy she told me you had asked for the day off.”

Valerie bit her lip and went past him to open the door she walked in and left it open for him to follow. “Yeah I did…”

“Yeah? I called your phone and it kept sending me to your voice mail as well. I was worried…” AJ said not trying to sound frustrated by the way Valerie was acting.

“I’m sorry baby but I had some personal things to take care of,” Valerie said as she went to hug him. “I know that your with you mom right now and I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Val you could call me,” AJ said staring at her.

“Yeah you’re right and I am sorry but I had to do this.” she told as she handed him the papers from Dr. Ramirez so he could read them.

AJ read and a smile spread on his lips, she was going to get help. “This is great Val,” he said kissing her.

“Well I realized that if I want you in my life I have to do this the right way.” She told him as she sat on her couch and smiled when he sat beside her. “I want you to like me and want me all the time. I don’t your fans to hate for dating a pig like me…”

“What? I don’t know if you have noticed but I’ve been pretty clear on my intentions with you. I love your body baby… my fans well there just going to have deal with it.” He said taking her hands in his.

“It’s not as easy as you think AJ. The other day I was at the grocery store and these two girls well they made me realize that well you have expectations to meet for them. They picture with some Miss Universe type of girl. I told them I really cared about you and that if they cared about you too they would be considerate of our private life. After that I walked out,” she told him.

“I am sorry you had to go through that Val, I don’t know where they get that. But they are all not like that you know. The other day I got this sweet message on my profile in our website from one fan that applauded me for dating you. She understands us and wishes us the best.”

“I just think your right AJ I need this not only for us but for me too. I know that I will feel better with myself if I did this.” she told him as she kissed him again. “Any who where is your mother?”

“Well that was why I was calling you. She had to leave sooner than expected because of some business thing she apologizes and says she expects us to go see her soon.”

“Awe I am so sorry I didn’t get to spend more time with her,” she said hugging him.

“No your not quit lying.” He giggled as he saw the look on her face catching her in her lie.

“Ok maybe not that sorry its just she is a very intimidating person.”

Valerie mumbled as she poured out the contents from her purse. She had decided to clean it since she nothing else to do this day. AJ was gone promoting the boys new album and he wouldn’t be back till the next Monday three days from today. She missed him and he had been so helpful with her new diet plan.

She had to admit she was feeling a lot better eating more often even if she did struggle at first to swallow the food down. She felt better and she actually had to take her maid of honor dress to a seamstress to bring it in some. Her sisters’ wedding was approaching quick and so she had already made the necessary arrangements for that weekend.

She began to sort through her purse she came across the bald up piece of paper with Raul’s number she stared it as and realized he had kept his word and had not bothered her since she had told him to stop. Maybe he had changed she just hoped he really changed for the sake of who ever he dated next. She grabbed her lighter and lit the paper smiling as the paper turned to ash.

She was starting a new page in her life and it involved AJ. She had not been bothered by fans either and now all she wanted was for him to be back from his promoting tour.

*******

She was beat and she couldn’t wait to crash in her bed. She had to be up quite early. AJ was landing today and she wanted to surprise him with breakfast since she now had a spare key to his house. She liked working the late shift this particular she wasn’t to happy about it.

She paid her cab fare and went up the elevators to her floor trying to stay awake. The ding from the elevator stopping at her floor brought her back from lala land; she walked out and almost jumped when she saw that AJ stood there with his luggage and some flowers.

“I missed you,” AJ said dropping his luggage on the floor and going up to kiss her.

“I did too… what are you doing here? You must be tired.” Valerie said eyeing the flowers he held on his hand. “Are those for me?” she asked.

“I am but that’s why I came here lets go to bed,” he said handing her the flowers and quietly waited for her to open the door.

Sure enough they only got dressed in there PJ’s and they were cuddled fast asleep.

********

Valerie stirred as the sun hit her face she buried her face in AJ’s chest smiling as she remembered finding him waiting for her. Finally her eyes adjusted to the light she quietly watched as AJ slept his mouth slightly open and his hand draped over her. “Baby?” she whispered but he didn’t move.

Realizing he must be really tired she eased herself out of the bed and after grabbing herself some clothes she went into the shower. She didn’t even turn on the radio so she would not wake AJ up.

She was humming to a tune in her head when she heard his raspy voice.

“Good morning,” he said as he stood there pushing the shower curtain aside. “May I join you?”

“Yes please,” she said laughing at his smeared eyeliner. He hadn’t even taken the eyeliner off last night or was it morning already. “How did you sleep?”

“Like a rock,” he said as he pushed her against the tiled wall. He smiled at her and then he leaned in to kiss her.

“I’ve missed you…” she managed to say before her mouth was covered by his again. This shower was now going to take longer than expected.

********

Alex walked into the office of management with high hopes for the tour plans. But instead he realized he was the only one there.

“AJ we have to talk.”

AJ saw took the magazine that he was handed and there was a picture of him and Valerie being very close. “Ok what’s up?”

“I don’t think this is good publicity, you have to do something about her.”

“I am not going to do anything I like her a lot and if my fans don’t like it oh well.” AJ said putting the magazine down.

“We are not saying for you to dump her just you know make disappear make it a secret relationship like back in the days… if not this may not help the sales of your new record. What would the other guys think if they find out it was because of you and her?”

“This is bullshit and I am not going to do that!” AJ said walking out not wanting to listen to that anymore. His mother had been right…

“So what do you think?” Valerie said as she bit her bottom lip. “I can’t help the color but I mean does it look more descent on me?”

Stacy rolled her eyes as she stood up and clapped, “The dress is very nice and you are rocking it. Look at you, your going to be one hot maid of honor.”

“I don’t look like a pig in a hot pink sack?” Valerie said as she turned to face the mirror.

“Ok seriously you have to stop that,” Stacy said standing beside her. “You look good your new diet is working…”

“Ok so you think AJ will like it?” Valerie asked.

“He would be crazy not to,” Stacy said as she sat back on the bed. “Talking about AJ where is he?”

“Asia,” Valerie pouted. “He won’t be back till the wedding and will meet me in Orlando.”

“Wow how time flies,” Stacy said looking at her watch. “Well I have to go, unlike you I work tonight.”

“Ok bye thanks for coming over and taking me to get my dress.” Valerie told her now good friend and co-worker.

“Hey I had fun I would have been bored at home anyway with my girlfriend in Maine visiting her parents.” Stacy said as she stood up.

“You miss her? Only for a couple more days though.” Valerie said hugging her. “Hey maybe we could do something tomorrow.”

“Yeah like what?” Stacy said as she took her car keys out of her pocket.

“Well I don’t what ever bowling?” she said shrugging.

“Ok, I’ll call you later or tomorrow.”

********

“Hello?” Valerie said into her phone as she saw her caller ID.

“I didn’t wake you up did I?” AJ asked as he heard her.

“No I can’t sleep you know since I am so used to my night shift.” Valerie said giggling.

“I miss you, so how was your day off?” He asked as he took a seat on the high chair allowing the make up artist to do her job.

“It was good I got my dress back and it fits more descent. I had lunch with Stacy as well. What about you? How was your interview are you getting ready for the concert?” Valerie asked as she saw the time.

“Getting my hair and makeup done,” Alex said as he watched the make up artist do something with his hair what he had anyway. “What would you do if I shaved my hair off?”

“You didn’t?” Valerie said caught off by surprise. “I want to see you send me a picture. I bet you will look much hotter.”

AJ laughed into the phone, “I haven’t yet babe, but I am thinking about it.”

“I can’t wait to see you.” Valerie said as she heard someone tell him it was time to go.

“I can’t either, I have to go…but I love you and dream with me.” AJ said blowing a kiss to her and giggled when he heard her return the kiss.

“I will even if its not the same… Love you and I’ll talk to you later ok?” Valerie said quickly.

“Yeah ok bye love you.” Alex said as he saw the impatient look he was getting by his manager. “Ok I’m ready…” he said smiling at him.

“I don’t get it AJ you can have any girl you want and you chose her? Really?”

AJ stopped and looked at his manager who also was or he thought was a good friend. “Your right I could but they just don’t make me happy. I like Valerie and that’s that look lets just not get into that discussion again. I haven’t seen any decline in the fans because of it…” he said walking ahead of him smiling when he saw the rest of his band mates.

*********

“So what are we doing after all?” Stacy asked as she heard Valerie answer the phone.

“I don’t care how about lunch and a movie?” she asked as she yawned, it was only nine but she could no longer sleep.

“Deal I’ll pick you up around eleven.” Stacy said yawing as well.

Amber hung up and after freshening up she walked to her living room turning on her TV. She sighed when a knock on her door startled her, she didn’t expect anyone but she still walked to the door.
She smiled when she saw Leigh and baby James, “well good morning,” she said opening the door.

“Hey we thought we could stop by and say hello. We didn’t wake you did we?” Leigh asked as she walked in.

“No I was up already… here let me.” Valerie said kissing her on the cheek as she took baby James in her arms. “How’s the prettiest baby in the world doing?” she cooed as she kissed him.

“He’s teething and cranky with colic’s.” she said as she handed Valerie a cloth.

“Awe poor baby, have you tried baby Orajel? We recommend that a lot at the hospital.” Valerie said as she saw baby James make a face before bursting into a cry.

Leigh sighed and took him back in her hand instantly he quieted down. “Yes I have been rubbing it on his gums. He just doesn’t want to be with anyone but me since he started teething.” She said as she rocked him in her arms. “Howie isn’t even here to help me.”

“He will be here soon; I am sure he misses both of you too.”

“Yeah but he isn’t here to deal… but your right when he is here I am taking a day off.” Leigh said laughing a little as she kissed her baby. “I know I am complaining but I would not give this up for the world you know.” she said as she saw her baby in a very adoringly way.

Two hours later Valerie was walking into a restaurant with Stacy beside her. She was a little nervous when she saw that she was being followed by the paparazzi. She didn’t understand why if AJ wasn’t even here. “Sorry about that I don’t even understand why they are following me. Well maybe I have an idea, to badger me about my weight.”

“Don’t worry I don’t mind, I guess they just haven’t seen you and AJ together in a few weeks. I guess they think you would have left with him to Asia.” Stacy said ignoring Valerie’s comment about her weight only rolling her eyes at her lightly.

“Well if they really cared about the truth they would know I am here for my career and I just happened to fall in love with a long time friend…well not the best of friend back then.” Valerie said as she took a sip of the glass of water.

“Well let’s ignore them and order ok?”

************

“Are you sure this is going to work?”

“Positive just keep snapping pictures,” Raul said as he watched closely. He had tried to play nice but Valerie hadn’t called him so he had to go a different route.

He smiled as he saw the girl that was with her stand up and leave it was his chance. He smiled as he walked toward the booth, “Well look who I happen to stumble upon.”

Valerie almost choked on her water when she recognized the voice, “Raul what are you doing here?”

“I was just having some lunch I thought I had recognized you. So where’s your boyfriend he go to the restroom?” Raul asked smiling at her as he took a seat where Stacy had been sitting.

“Why do you care to know?” Valerie asked with an attitude.

“Why so hostel I was just being friendly. I guess I should go…” Raul said standing up.

“Raul I’m sorry its just I am not used to you being nice that’s all.” Valerie said feeling a little guilty about her rudeness. He had been really nice and had been keeping his word. This had just been a coincidence.

“It’s ok I deserve it,” Raul said sitting back down. “I wish I could show you how much I really miss us.’ He said as he took her hand in his.

“Raul,” Valerie said pulling her hand away.

“I know I’m sorry but I just can’t stand they way people talk about you now that your dating that Backstreet boy… don’t you read the nasty things there fans write about you? they hate you Valerie and sooner or later they are going to break your little bond with him. Just know that when that happens I will be right here to help you forget.” He leaned into her and kissed her cheek staying still for a few seconds.

Valerie pulled away and cleared her throat, “Raul I think you need to go. I am fine and I don’t care what anyone says I am happy and he is happy.”

“Just remember I am always here.” Raul said standing up just in time Stacy had just come back. “Later.”

**********

“Nice job Joe it really looks like we are kissing and lingering.” Raul said as he high fived his partner in crime. He loved his new job as a paparazzi it was unbelievable the money you could get with good snap shots of celebrities.

“Now what are you going to do?” Joe asked.

“Oh you’ll see my friend this is going to break that Backstreet fags heart I just know it.” Raul laughed as he began to play the soon to be events.

Valerie woke up to the pounding on her door. It was nine in the morning but she worked night shift and was still basking in her bed sleeping well she was until now. “Coming,” she said groggily.

“Val,” Leigh said walking in not caring to say hello. “Howie just called me and…” Leigh just opened her laptop and began to open her internet.

“You woke me up,” Valerie said yawning as she closed the door.

“Well you wouldn’t answer your phone and this is very important. AJ is not a very happy camper right now.” Leigh said not even looking up to see her.

“Well my phone is off,” Valerie said as she went to retrieve her phone and turning it on as she walked back out. “What happened why is AJ not a happy camper?” she said as she saw the many missed calls from him.

“Because of this and the fact that you haven’t answered him.” Leigh said turning her laptop toward her.

Valerie gasped as she saw the pictures being shown on a celebrity gossip site. It was pictures of her with Raul. She took the laptop and began to read what was being said.

[“So it seems AJ’s new girlfriend is now an ex girlfriend. She has moved on clearly seen in these pictures. According to friends close to her she realized that she did not belong in his world so she broke it off. Mean while we contacted AJ’s rep but she had nothing to say about this she claimed it as rumors. SO does that mean AJ is single again ladies.”]

“This is not true,” Valerie said finally putting the laptop down. She felt the tears start forming in her eyes as she began to dial AJ’s number. She was sent into his voicemail. “Alex its me Valerie I just woke up and we need to talk call me back.”

“I had to get here as soon as I could. What were you doing with him anyway?” Leigh asked as she saw the pictures.

“I wasn’t with him it’s not true. I was out eating with Stacy and he happened to be there…” Valerie said sighing deeply.

*******

“Why didn’t you answer her?” Howie asked as he saw AJ ignore the call.

“I don’t want to talk to her right now, she ignored all my calls.” AJ said throwing his phone on the bed.

“I just don’t understand why she was that son of…” Howie sighed instead and took a seat next to him. “You should talk to her, I know for a fact she hates him. Besides you can clearly see by the comment that it can’t be true which friend did they talk to?”

“It’s not that…it’s why was she with him? I mean that one picture… she knows that right now we are in the spot light because of our relationship.” AJ said frustrated.

“Talk to her.” Howie said dialing her number on his phone. He smiled when she heard Val’s voice. “Hey,” he said a she heard that she was clearly expecting someone else’s call.

“Howie how’s AJ?” Valerie asked.

“He’s right here beside me,” Howie said eyeing AJ who was now lighting a cigarette. He handed him his phone and saw AJ just stare at it before he took it in his hands.

“AJ?” Valerie said when she did not hear anything from the other side. “You have to know that’s not true.”

“Really?” AJ finally said exhaling the smoke. “The pictures look pretty compromising Val.”

“I was set up by those damn paparazzi. I was being followed that day when I went out to eat with Stacy and then he showed up at the restaurant. I had already asked him to stay away from me earlier…” Valerie said not thinking clearly at what she was saying.

“What do you mean earlier?” AJ said cutting her off.

Valerie bit her lip realizing what she had said, she sighed. “He has been here in LA for a while he had been looking for him and even went to see my sister to try and find out where I was. He was the one that had sent me those flowers remember? He was stalking me at some point but it was nothing serious.” She took another deep breath not saying anything about the other kiss he had given, “I didn’t say anything because I put him in his place and he had left me alone. He has changed… he just happened to bump in to me yesterday and the paparazzi you know how they work.”

“Why didn’t you tell me he was here? Val answer me something…” AJ said trying not to sound too hurt or angry at her. “Do you still have feelings for him?”

“No,” Valerie said quickly realizing where AJ was going with this. “I hate him I do but he really has changed and all I did yesterday was tell him hello. It wasn’t a kiss on the lips it was just a kiss on the cheek it’s not how it looks on the picture.”

“Val,” AJ said not wanting to hear anymore. “I have to go we’ll talk when I get back. For now how about we just take a break…” he said handing the phone back to Howie not wanting to hear anymore.
“AJ” Valerie said but began to sob when she heard Howie’s voice instead. “He’s hurt isn’t he?”

“How come I didn’t hear about Raul being here earlier either?” Howie asked as he saw AJ walk out his suite.

“Howie please not you too, I know I messed up by not telling anyone and I am sorry. Just please make sure AJ is ok.”

“I am nervous,” Valerie said as she exhaled the smoke.

“Look don’t worry about it, I am sure he will listen to you and everything will be back to normal. He just needed time to think about it, besides when he sees how hot you look in your maid of honor dress he will forget about it all.” Stacy said as she finished her smoke.

“I really wish you could go with me I need a wing man.” She told her pouting.

“I can’t and you will have you sister there and Howie.” Stacy said hugging her friend.

“I know but it won’t be the same. What if he hates me and never speaks to me again?”

“Oh that won’t happen. You know you sound like your in love, madly in love.” Stacy said eyeing her friend.

“I think I am,” Valerie said giving her a sad smile, “these past few days I have been a wreck and I have texted him nonstop. Without one answer from him, so I stopped only two days ago. I honestly think I have lost him.”

*******

Valerie smiled as she saw her soon to be brother in law waiting for her. “Hey welcome home.” Javier said as he wrapped his arms around her. “Man Valerie you look hot, wow.”

“Oh please Javier quit trying to make me blush it won’t work.” She told him as she hugged him back. “So any wedding jitters yet?”

“Nope you’re sister is stuck with me unless she runs.” He froze as he said it and looked panicked for a second. “No she loves me she wouldn’t run would she?”

Valerie arched her eyebrow and laughed, “I’m not telling she is my sister I am on her side.” She patted his shoulder. “Nothing to worry about Javy she is smitten over you.”

“I am smitten over her too.” He said as he helped her with her luggage. “So since I know you won’t want to stay with your parents Sandy got you a room at the Hilton.”

“Ok thanks,” Valerie said as she followed Javier to his car. “What time do I have to be at the rehearsal at the church?”

“At six, you have plenty of time to rest and I will have my sister Julie pick you up.” Javier said and then after turning on the ignition he sighed. “So I know you really don’t want to hear this right now but I should let you know. That I know about Alex and I am so sorry about your break up… Sandy told me.”

“I knew she would she’s horrible at keeping secrets.” Valerie said as she lit a cigarette.
“So maybe I should tell you that he called Sandy earlier this week and asked for an extra seat. He’s bringing someone.” Javier said biting his lip.

Amber sucked in her air and fought back the tears forming in her eyes. “I am glad he has been able to move on.” She told him and then she quickly turned on the radio as loud as possible.

Javier didn’t say anything else after that he knew she didn’t want to talk about it.

*******

“Josh,” Valerie yelled as she opened the door to her room.

“My god Val you look wow,” Josh said hugging her. “You always look good but wow impressive what you have accomplished. So you called me told me to get here as soon as possible because you had an emergency. Spill.”

“You are so feisty no wonder your gay.” She told him biting her lip. “I need you to find me a hot date that neither my sister nor any of my family members and friends will recognize.”

“Ok I can do that but why am I doing this for you again?” Josh said as he began to look through his phone. “Does this have to do with the whole backstreet boy thing?”

“My god everyone knows about?” she asked.

“Duh he is a famous person and it was all over TMZ did you really go back with Raul?” he asked.

“No and I will tell you everything but another time I have to get ready for the rehearsal and I need my new date for it so hurry.” She told him as she went to her closet to take out the turquoise dress she had chosen for the rehearsal of course it did have black.

“Fine on it,” Josh said as he looked through his phone. “See what you put me through.”

*******

“Are you Valerie?”

Valerie smiled as she saw the guy, “Yes are you Saul?” she asked smiling at Josh’s choice.

“Yes Saul Perez,” he said extending his hand. “Now my question is why would you need a fake date to your own sister’s wedding when I am sure you are capable of finding one.”

“It’s a long story and I might share it on the way to the church,” Valerie said as she took his arm and began to walk out of the lobby. “So are you really gay?”

“Well more like bi,” he told her as he escorted her to his car.

“How in the world did Josh meet you?” she asked him as he opened the door for her. “Well we met in Coco Beach and then I just moved to Orlando not long ago. We are just friend though.”

“Oh,” Valerie said sighing. “Well thanks for agreeing to do this.”

“Hey Josh told me it would be free food and to flaunt to have met this gorgeous girl that I am smitten for. It will help with my acting skills too…” he said as he drove. “So who are we making jealous?”

“No one,” Valerie said as she pictured AJ in her head. “It’s just my family will start trying to hook me up so I prefer to have a pretend boyfriend or date so they won’t do that.” She told him.

“Ok sure, I can totally get that.” He said as he sped down Orlando city toward the church.

“You do know your not suppose to know Josh though right?”

“Yes he made sure to specify that to me more than once.” He said smiling at her.

*******

“Ok spill it why did you bring that guy?” Sandy asked Valerie in the girls restroom after the rehearsal.

“I met him in the lobby of the hotel, it just sort of happened.” Valerie said shrugging. “Isn’t he cute?”

“Valerie this has nothing to do with my future hubby spilling out AJ’s last minute request right?”

“Of course not he has the right to do what he wants, we didn’t work out. Now have more reasons to hate him more, Saul will be good I promise.” Valerie gave Sandy a sad puppy face.

“Fine but please this is my wedding behave.” Sandy said hugging her.

“Now let’s go we still have the rehearsal dinner to get to.”

“Will the guys be here for the rehearsal dinner?” Valerie asked nonchalantly.

“No all of them, I think only Howie and Leigh will be there.” Sandy said eyeing her sister.

“What I was just asking. I should go I bet Saul is scared to shit with our family asking questions.” She raised her eyebrows with mock horror.

Sandy laughed and nodded, “Yeah you better go save him.”

“Thanks for doing this,” Valerie told Saul as they stood alone. The rehearsal party was pretty nice. She still hadn’t spotted Howie or Leigh.

“Hey no problem,” Saul said as he took a drink from his champagne.

“Val?” Howie said spotting her.

Valerie turned quickly as she heard Howie, she smiled when she saw him carrying little James in his arms. “You look nice,” he said as he stared at the man standing by her.

“Thanks you look handsome yourself, oh right this is Saul. Saul this is my friend almost like brother Howie.” She said as she reached for little James.

Howie extended his hand to the young man as Valerie took James. “Nice to meet you.” He said politely just as his wife came back.

“I see you found Val,” she said as she came to his side. “Hi I’m Leigh,” she said surprised to see the young man.

“Uhm,” Howie said swallowing hard. “Val can I talk to you for a minute alone?”

“Yeah sure,” she looked at Saul. “Do you mind staying with Saul for a sec while I talk your husband?” she asked smiling at Leigh.

“Ok,” Leigh said nervously as she took her son from Valerie’s hands.

******

“Ok so who is that?” Howie asked once they were outside.

“That is Saul I met him today. He is a really nice guy and well I invited him here with me.” Valerie said as she took the opportunity to light a cigarette.

“Why are you doing this?” Howie asked concerned. “See this is what I was fearing when you and Alex got involved.”

Valerie shrugged trying to not let his words hurt her, “Alex broke up with me because he didn’t believe me. I have to move on, those things happen in relationships Howie. Look relax he is only my date, I really like him and I want to get to know him.” She told him.

“You know what you’re right forget that I know you well enough to know you have something else up your sleeve with all this. Do as you please but don’t come to me for comfort when your heart gets shattered worse than it already has. Val you deserve so much better then all this.” He said before walking away leaving her there.

She knew what she was doing and she just hoped he gave AJ the same lecture she had gotten. She finished her cigarette and went to find Saul.

*******

“Hola mami,” Valerie said hugging her.

“Vale, you look preciosa. Now dime, why you did not stay with us here at your house?”

Valerie rolled her eyes and kissed her mother’s face. “I am here now and we have no time to argue mami we have to get ready. We have a wedding to get to.” She kissed her mother one more time before walking up the stairs to find the rest of the bridesmaids and of course her sister.

She smiled as she heard the laughs coming from her sister’s room well it hadn’t been her room in a long time but it still looked like it did when she did sleep there. “Don’t worry the maid of honor is here.” She said as she opened the door.

“Val,” Sandy said running to hug her. “I have to present you to my friend Joy she is one of my bridesmaids I met her after you left for college.”

“Yeah I remember her from yesterday,” Valerie said eying her sister and the glass of margarita in her hand. “How many has she had?” she asked taking it away from her and drinking some.

“That will be her fourth one,” Rose said as she came back in with a freshly made pitcher of margarita.

“Rose,” Val said as she went to hug her cousin. “Now about this.” Val said looking at the face her sister had. “No more. Ladies my sister is about to get married and she can’t get married drunk. She will kill us all for allowing her to get drunk. Besides we have five hours to get ready and be at the church.”

“She is right you know,” Leigh said walking in with bags in hands. “Now come on I volunteered to come help you all get ready.”

“Really?” Val asked as she hugged her.

“Well the bridesmaids, the bride she has an appointment with a professional. Howie is waiting for you to take you.” Leigh told Sandy.

“Oh right, I’ll see you ladies later.” Sandy said as she walked out of the room.

“She’ll sober up,” Leigh assured us as she put the bags down. “Ok so who’s first?”

*******

Several hours later and almost an hour late they made it to the church. “Ok I can totally now understand the whole wedding jitters.” Sandy said pacing in the room where she and her bridesmaids stood.

“Mija don’t worry it will go away,” her father said as she hugged him.

“Ok bridesmaids and maid of honor you are needed the ceremony is about to start.” The wedding planner said as she walked in.

Valerie took a deep breath as she grabbed her bouquet of orchids. “Everything will be fine Sandy you’ve waited long enough to be the missus to Javy.” She kissed her sister before following the bridesmaids and the wedding planner.

“Ok maid of honor meet Ramon the best man and your escort down the isle. Everyone else should know who is there partner.”

Val smiled as she extended her hand to him. “Hi Ramon I’m Valerie Sandy’s sister.”

“Yeah nice to meet you I am Javier’s co-worker and best man.” He said shaking her hand. “You look nice by the way.”

“Thank you.” Valerie said as the wedding planner began to set them up in line.

“Ok listen up, “When the music begins, Val and Ramon will start marching in.”

Valerie bit her lip she was nervous and she didn’t know if it was because she didn’t know what to expect with the whole AJ situation or how she really looked in the dress. She had no time to think though as the music began and Ramon took her arm as they began to march down the isle. She smiled at the transformation of the church as they walked down the isle.

She could hear the whisper’s as she walked along and she tried to concentrate on walking and not trying to find AJ in the seats. A few minutes more of torture she thought as she and Ramon separated she went to the left and he to the right. The same thing happened as all the bridesmaids and groomsmen came filing down the isle and then the music changed and she finally looked up in time to see her father and Sandy at the entrance. She never felt more proud of her father than at the moment as he walked her sister down the isle.

That’s when she caught the glimpse of the brunette sitting beside AJ. His mother on the other side as well, suddenly she didn’t want to be here. She turned quickly when she felt AJ look at her; she hoped he had not seen her staring.

*******

So far nothing out of the ordinary had happened. She had been able to avoid all of the boys and she was in the moment. Maybe because they had just finished dancing and now she watched the first dance together of the bride and groom.

But of course knowing her sister she had everything planned out and there they were the guys including Kevin singing “I promise you” as they danced. She had always known Sandy was a big Backstreet fan but she always tried to play it out. But now her secret was out as she smiled happily in the arms of Javier. She was trying hard not to roll her eyes, but yet she was happy for her sister.

“You know Javier told me Sandy was into them, now I know what he means. How the hell did she get them to come sing at her wedding?” Ramon asked Val as they watched them dance.

Valerie giggled and then she stopped when AJ began to sing and she felt a light shiver. She shook away the thoughts and turned to answer Ramon’s question. “Well you see the shortest of the guys singing?”

He nodded and then Valerie smiled mischievously, “We know him his family is really close to my family. We knew him way before he was famous, so she asked him and he agreed to get the rest of them to come sing at Sandy’s wedding.”

*****

Many speeches later Valerie stood with the microphone in hand, she cleared her throat and smiled. “Ok so I will make my speech short because well I want to dance.” Everyone laughed as she raised her glass. “Sandy mi amor you are my favorite sister… well more like the only sister. I am so happy for you and that you found your Principe Azul. Those are hard to find and I know Javy for a while now he is a good catch. To Javy and Sandy may your love last forever and even longer.” She choked a little but managed to smile as she heard everyone clap.

“Ok let’s get this party started,” Sandy said standing up.

Valerie smiled as the first song began to play. “So I think it’s about time you join me. Want to dance?” Saul asked as he made it to her table with a smile on his face.

“Yeah ok,” Valerie said taking his hand and allowed him to lead her toward the dance floor. “I am not the best salsa dancer but I can give this a try.”

“Oh trust me by the end of this song you will be an expert.” Saul said as he twirled her.

*******

“So are you going to dance at all?”

Alex smiled at the woman sitting beside him. He couldn't believe he had agreed to bring Mackenzie with him. His manager had convinced him to and now here he was trying to pretend he was having fun with her there. “I don’t want to, I like watching besides its funny to watch Howie make a fool of himself, he may have Latin blood but he is whiter than Nick.” He chuckled as he stared at Howie dancing with Leigh.

“Maybe we could dance another song?” she asked him.

“Maybe.” He said as he saw Valerie walk out. “I have to go the restroom I’ll be right back.”

He didn’t have any trouble finding her she was smoking away just outside the building. He sighed heavily as he walked up to her. “That was a very touching speech you gave in there.” He said smiling when he startled her.

Valerie shrugged and stomped on the cigarette butt with her shoe. “Thanks I guess.” She said as she turned to walk away. She stopped when she felt his hand on her arm, she turned to face him. “You need a cigarette?” she asked rolling her eyes.

“No…well yes but I have my own.” AJ said as he sighed. “I owe you an apology.”

“For what?” Valerie asked anger suddenly coming out. “You did nothing wrong and it was my fault. Don’t worry there is nothing to forgive you for. I have to head back in Saul is waiting on me.”

“I do owe an apology,” AJ said sternly making her stop. “Because I allowed my management get to me and so I used those pictures as an excuse to break up with you. I did believe you about the whole Raul thing. I just thought that maybe everyone was right about us. I didn’t want people to hurt you… I am sorry.”

“If you want to hear me say you are forgiven. Fine I forgive you,” Valerie said in a very irate tone. “Now I really have to go.” She said as she held her tears.

“I’m fin really,” Valerie said as she walked toward the entrance of the hotel. She was tipsy but she was fine she could still manage to get to her room just fine. “Thanks Saul for everything.” She waved the bouquet she had caught when her sister had thrown it to all the single ladies. Just her luck to be the one to catch and she wasn’t even trying to catch it.

“I can help you up your room,” Saul said a she took her hand before she tripped.

“No serrrriioussly I am finnnee…” Valerie said smiling at him. With that she walked toward the door. She began to look for her key card in her small purse and accidentally dropped the bouquet. “Shit,” she said as she stood in the lobby.

“You ok?”

She jumped and turned to find AJ standing there the bouquet she had just dropped in his hands. “Yes fine thank you very much,” she said with attitude as she took the bouquet and began to walk clumsily toward the elevators that would lead her to her room. She turned and stopped, “Oh and thank you for picking up this thing.” She said waving the bouquet again.

AJ smiled as he watched her and cleared his throat as he picked up the key card from the floor. “Hey Val you might need this.” He said flashing the card.

Valeria glared at him mischievously, “what are you doing here?” she asked him as she walked back up to him and snatched her key away from his hand.

“I followed you…” he told her as he put his hands in his pockets. “But it seems that you are not yourself right now so my plans of talking to you are out the window. Here let me help you to your room.” He told her as he took her key again and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“No!” Valerie said pulling away. “You can’t come back from tour and expect me to just talk to you again and pretend what happened didn’t happen. I told you in the beginning that I was not good for you and yet you convinced me that you were…” she said as she tried to take the card back from his hand.

“I am the one for you… I fucked up Val ok. You have every right to be mad at me for what I did but… let me explain.” AJ said in a low tone trying to not attract attention but then again Valerie was not helping.

“Alex,” Valerie whispered as she got really close to his face. “I forgive you and I have to admit that with you I had the most amazing sex ever but,” she paused and caressed his cheek. “It is better that we go back to before we… you know. I will go back to only hating you and talk to you in foul language. Just like you should.” She sighed and took her key again. “See I’m not that drunk… now you better go before you get seen with me again.”
*********

“Fuck my head,” Valerie said as she got off the taxi and into her parents house. The smell of food in the air attacked her nose as she walked in. “Good morning,” she said as she rubbed her temple.

“Hey you finally got here,” Leigh said as she handed little James to her. “Watch him for me I have to go potty.”

“Where’s Howie?” I asked as I took little James who was smiling at me.

“In the backyard playing dominoes with your father and the rest…” was all she heard Leigh said as she disappeared.

“Hey mom what’s for breakfast?” she asked she walked into the kitchen.

“Breakfast? Vale its almost lunch time, where were you?” her mother asked as she continued chopping onion.

“I think I may have had a little to much to drink at the party…” Valerie said biting her lip. “Who is here?”

“Well yesterday while you ignored the guys I asked them to come over for a good home cooked meal and of course you know I don’t take no for an answer.”

“Yeah she can’t,” Brian said coming in with an empty pitcher of lemonade. “I had to call Leighanne and tell her I would be home later because I had to stay for lunch… so I had to change my flight to Atlanta for later. But I’m glad I did it smells delicious or it delicioso.”

“Wait till you taste it,” Mrs. Mendez said as she smiled at Brian. “This is the least I could do after you all made time to come and grace with your voices at Sandy’s wedding.”

“It’s nothing we all love Sandy and that is why we did it. Talking about wedding congratulations I saw you catch the bouquet,” Brian said grinning at Valerie. “So that means your next and we will gladly sing in your too.”

“I didn’t catch it just sort of landed on me,” Valerie said rolling her eyes.

“Maybe it was fate stepping in,” her mother said looking at her. “I think it is time for you to settle down.”

‘Thanks Brian,” Valerie said as she kissed little James who was busy sucking his hand.

“Well at its not only getting bashed about getting married AJ caught the garter last night after Nick and I dragged him into the crowd of single men.” Brian said laughing. “It was priceless to see him look startled as the garter landed on his head. He wanted to throw it but Nick made him keep it.”

Valerie groaned and was about to say something smart when in came AJ. “Brian what’s…” he stopped talking when he saw Valerie. “Hi Val.”

“Hi,” Val said as she walked toward the fried to get a bottled water. “Mom need help?” she asked quickly.

“No I’m good you should talk to Alex instead.” She told her sternly.

“Excuse me?” Valerie said startled by her comment.

“Oh come one Vale we know about you two… I honestly thought you two were perfect for each other. You know you had found your match. What you expected us not to know about it? Sandy didn’t want to confirm it when we confronted her about it but please we were bound to hear about it. Especially with some of the pictures out of you two showing each other affection.”

Valerie turned to see Alex was blushing it was apparent he did not know that her parents knew, “Mom that none of your business…”

“Yes it is and we have to talk senorita,” she said pointing at her.

“I think Howie just called me,” Brian said as he took little James away from Valerie. “I got him.” He smiled and left quick.

“I can’t believe this! I have to go! I have lost my appetite.” Valerie said raising her hands in emphasis as she walked away leaving.

“Vale ven para aca!” was all she heard as he grabbed her purse and walked to the door.

“Where’s James?” Leigh asked her as she came back.

“Brian has him, I’m out of here.” Valerie said anger apparent in her voice.

She lit a cigarette as she thought of how she was going to get to her hotel. She took a seat on the bench and sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t know your mother knew and your right she did not need to mention it.” Alex said as he stood beside her.

“I’m sorry she brought that up, I should have guessed she would know I mean you’re famous.” Valerie said as she exhaled the smoke.

“She is right though we need to talk,” Alex said as he finally dared to take a seat beside her.

“No we have nothing more to say AJ you did the right thing. I am not good for you and that is that. Please just let it go… if wouldn’t have been this something else would have broken us up. Like the fact that you travel for long periods of time and I am always at work. It’s better this way.”

“That’s where your wrong.” Alex said as he took a cigarette out and lit it.

“I don’t want to hear anything right AJ just give me space time and then maybe we can talk ok?” Valerie said as she stood up and began to walk. She so badly wanted to kiss him and tell him that yes she would take him back. But the truth was that it was not right. She was not the right person for him and she had taken all this as a sign. She was resigning on AJ for his sake why would he need to feel like an outcast just because he had chosen to date her. No. She was doing the right thing. She couldn’t wait to get back to her life where she could drown in work and her studies.

“Welcome back,” Stacy told Valerie as she hugged her.

“Thanks I am glad to be back, I want to work myself to death.” Valerie said as she followed Stacy to her car. It was a busy day at LAX and she was just glad she was home.

“So it was that bad?” Stacy asked as she helped her put her luggage in the trunk.

“YES,” Valerie said rolling her eyes. “AJ had the decency to take a date to my sister’s wedding and not only that to try and talk to me!”

“Ouch,” Stacy said.

“YEAH, not only that my mother invites them for lunch and then she tells me I should talk to him. She knew about us! So embarrassing.” Valerie said as she put her seatbelt on.

“So then it’s over definitely over?” Stacy asked as she began to drive away.

“YES,” Valerie said confidently. “Its best for both us to just be acquaintances… the only time we will see each other now will be when we both are invited to any of Howie’s events.”

“You know what I think?” Stacy said as she eyed her friend. “You’re afraid of being happy you’re so used to your crappy old relationship it creeps you out to have some actually care for you. Alex really does care for you… I mean I have seen it in the way he looks at you.”

Valerie couldn’t find anything to say to that because deep inside she knew it was true. “I don’t think I deserve it.”

********

Valerie sighed as she ran her laps around the park. She smiled as she fell back to her routine… this was comfortable. After a well deserve workout she decided it was ok to have smoothie.

After ordering herself her favorite she took a seat as she looked through the newspaper. “Val?” she looked up as she heard her name.

“Chris.” She said giving him a smile.

“Wow Alex was right you look amazing. Not that you didn’t before…” Chris said nervously. “So how are you?”

“I couldn’t be better. It’s nice to see you again,” Valerie said as she stood up not wanting to be there anymore. She had done so well not seeing anyone that would make her think or see AJ. She knew he was in town for a while before he would head out again for tour.
“Yeah same here, you have to go so fast?” Chris asked.

“Yeah I have to study for a test and then I have to go to work.” Valerie said as she began to walk not really watching where she was going. “Oh I am so sorry…” she said when she bumped into someone.

“It’s ok,” AJ said smiling as he saw her. “It’s just a little bump nothing more. Hi,”

“Hi,” Valerie said smiling nervously. “I was leaving… nice seeing you again.” She said waving at Chris and then walking away.

She sighed deeply as she began to walk back to her apartment. Till she felt the hand grip her arm. “Wait,” she heard AJ say as she turned to see who was touching her.

“Please,” Valerie managed to say before she felt his lips on hers. She wanted to push him away but instead she found herself kissing him back. She suddenly forgot everything around her and she wrapped her free hand around his neck. The kiss deepened and she couldn’t help but moan as his lips claimed hers with urgency.

Finally she realized what was happening and she pushed him away. But the grin on his face made it hard to complain. Finally she cleared her throat, “What was that?” she asked.

“Well I tried talking to you but you kept ignoring me. I thought I would try something new. Val, I really really like you a lot and…” he bit his lip. He took a deep breath and stared at her… “I am in love with you and I am not going to let anyone tell me otherwise. I am sorry that I for a second doubted my feelings for what people thought about me. It was wrong of me to take that girl with me to your sister’s wedding and I’m sorry. I didn’t even like her… all I kept seeing was you in that very nice hot pink dress. So I am not going to talk anymore… I am just going to kiss you again.” He said as he crashed his lips on hers again.

Valerie was still trying to digest what she had just heard but then she was distracted again with another mind blowing kiss. She came back to reality when she felt the cold drink spill on her and AJ. She must have let it go when she went to wrap both her hands around his neck. “Shit that’s cold,” Alex said pulling away.

Valerie chuckled as she saw her shirt stained and wet. “No shit.” She began to wipe it.

“My apartment is a couple of blocks that way…” she said blushing as she finally made eye contact with Alex who didn’t look too pissed about having red smoothie on his shirt.

“Lets go,” he said taking her hand in his. He led her to his car and after helping her in he drove. It was by far the longest drive in history to him… but he didn’t care it was worth it if it meant that Valerie had forgiven him. She had kissed him back, so he was sure that she still had feelings for him. He reached over and took her hand, he gave her a smile when she didn’t pull away. His smile widened when he realized that today would be a new mark in his relationship with Valerie.

“We’re here,” Valerie said as she waited for him to park. “Come on,” she said as she opened the door. All of a sudden Stacy’s words were making a lot of sense.

“Stop,” Valerie told Alex as she pushed him away. “I’m going to be late to work if I don’t change now.”

“Call in sick.” Alex said wrapping his arms around her waist his lips kissing her shoulder. “I want to stay with you all day.”

Val shook her head and turned to face him. “I just came back from vacation… well my sister’s wedding I can’t just call in.”

“Call…” he whispered as his lips kissed her neck.

“Alex…” Val said moaning. “How about I meet you at your house after work?”

“That won’t be till five in the morning.” Alex said staring at her.

“Yes and I will make breakfast and we can be together till I have to go back to work again.” She told him kissing his lips.

“Fine,” Alex said pulling on her wet hair.

“Hey,” Val said laughing. “You might want to go get your shirt from the dryer and get dressed!”

“What you don’t like the towel look?” He asked pointing to the white towel around his waist.

“Yes but I want to be the only one to see that look.” Val said as she put on her blue scrubs.

*******

“Hey.” Val said sitting by Stacy in the cafeteria.

“Hey you… you look happy. What is that for?” Stacy asked as she offered her some skittles.

“Thank you.” Val said accepting some skittles. “I made up with Alex.”

“I knew it.” Stacy said nudging her. “So how did it happen?”

“I literally bumped into him and he kissed me. He told me he was tired of trying to talk to him so he thought he’d try something new. So he kissed me and in-between the kissing I spilled my smoothie on him and me… so I offered to clean his shirt and we ended up making up. In the shower…” Val said blushing.

Stacy laughed a little and shook her head, “Wow… so did he explain to you why he had done what he had?”

“Not really… we didn’t really talk much.” Val said blushing again. “But I think we will later today. I’m going to go over to his house after work, have breakfast and talk.”

“Good. I still think you deserve an explanation.” Stacy said as she took out some coins. “Want a coke?”

“No I already broke my diet with these skittles. I’ll take water please?” she told Stacy with a smile.

“Fine.” Stacy rolled her eyes.

******

“See you tomorrow.” Stacy hugged her friend. “Now you two talk…” she said pointing at her.

“We will.” Val laughed.

“You want a ride to his house?” Stacy asked.

“Would you be so nice to take me?” Val asked.

“Yeah sure I don’t mind.” She said as she looked for her keys.

“Valerie?”

Val froze when she heard her name. “Raul.” She said turning toward the voice.

“Hey can we talk?” he asked looking at Stacy.

“Today is not a good day…” She said, “what are you doing up at this time?”

“Oh I work night shift too… I was just passing by and I wanted to talk to you.” Raul said looking at her desperately.

“I’ll wait for you in the car.” Stacy said as she stared at the man awkwardly.

“NO, I’m going.” Val said grabbing Stacy’s wrist. “How about another day Raul… I really am tired today.”

“Fine how about tomorrow?” he asked.

“Yeah sure whatever.” Val said annoyed.

*******

Alex hit his alarm to make it stop beeping. He couldn’t believe he was actually waking up at five in the morning. He stood up and went to brush his teeth. He knew Valerie would arrive soon.

He couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the events from the day before. He knew they still had to talk but it had been great. He was going to apologize and grovel for her to forgive him.

He walked to his kitchen and began to prepare some coffee. That is when he heard the buzzer. He answered it, “Good morning.” He said a smile on his face.

“Morning Alex… could you open your gate for me?” Val asked waving at Stacy who drove away.

“Yeah I’m on it…I’m coming for you.” Alex said walking out toward his front yard.

Val applied some lip gloss on her lips as she waited patiently for AJ to open the gate. She didn’t understand why he wanted to come all the way out for her.

“So you are tired to talk to me but not to come see him?” Raul asked angrily.

Val turned to see him standing behind her. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here? Didn’t he humiliate you enough?” He asked approaching her.

“He did not humiliate me it was a misunderstanding and why do you care?” Val asked.

The next thing she knew Raul had her in a head lock and she couldn’t breathe a white clothe covered her mouth and nose…. She lost conscious.

********

Alex made it out to the gate, “Val?” he asked but did not see her. “Ok its not funny stop hiding.” He said smiling. That’s when he saw her badge from the hospital on the floor.

He opened the gate and picked up the badge. “Val?” he said again not liking this. He looked around but nothing or anyone was in sight.

“Not good… shit.” He said running back inside his house looking for his phone.