May 1

The way I see it, life is like a rollercoaster. In the beginning it seems like a good idea. Then you have to wait in line for two hours in the hot sun, just inching along. When it’s finally your turn, you realize that some of the people coming out of the ride look like they left their heart and spine behind. This is the point where you realize riding a speeding rollercoaster might not be such a good idea after all. Yet, by that time you’ve gone too far. At that point you just close your eyes and pray for the best while you’re tossed and turned as your car lurches up and down before grinding to a stop. At this point you either toss your cookies and move on or head back in line for another turn.

My name is Olivia Ryans and with the way my life is going I’m not sure how many rollercoasters are in my future. Truth is, I’m scared of heights and prefer my feet to stay on the ground. Unfortunately, at this moment I’m on a plane headed to Florida, trying to ignore the smell of baby puke and pinching myself every few seconds to make sure that I haven’t entered the Matrix. Confused yet? Perhaps I should back up a couple months. Then maybe you can enjoy the ride with me a little better.

Mid-March

I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was sitting in front of the television convincing myself that an hour of Wii Fit was much more entertaining than watching VH1 all day, when I saw it. No, not It, the Stephen King clown, but it as in the advertisement that would change my life.

“Are YOU a boy band fanatic from the 90’s?” the announcer’s voice called out loudly as a bubbly pop song started, providing thumping background ambience.

Uh-huh, I thought to myself, prepared to see a Now That’s What I Call Music Boyband Edition advertisement.

“Do you have an interest in blogging, photography, and video arts?”

Uh-huh. At this point I leaned a little closer to the television, turning the volume up slightly. I’m usually never a sucker for commercials, but being out of work for two months had me excited at even the hint of productivity.

“Live Entertainment is looking for someone with visual arts experience for a well-paid summer internship travelling with one of the hottest boy bands of the 90’s on their resurgent summer tour. For more details go to www.liveentertainmentinternshipsummer.com – Apply nowwwwww!”

Now usually I would have shrugged it off and sat back to enjoy another episode of Tool Academy or Flavor of Love, but I was sick of sitting at home feeling like a wart on the underside of society. Plus, the sound of my husband snoring from the other room was grating on my nerves. On a beautiful sunshiny day the last thing I wanted to hear for hours on end were the sounds of grunts and snores as I went through the phonebook inquiring about jobs. My husband works nights, and even though I was extremely thankful one of us was employed, the days were extremely lonely. So, turning on my laptop I headed to the website, wondering if they could possibly have made a longer URL and wondering how much junk e-mail I would get if I had to submit my e-mail address.

Surprisingly, the website was pop-up free and simply asked anyone interested to submit a resume, letter of intent, and examples of any visual arts work. I figured I didn’t stand a chance; someone with a master’s in visual arts would surely get the position (if it was even legit), but I could at least mark it down as a job inquiry on my weekly unemployment. I spent the next few hours sorting through photographs and videos that I had taken at my previous job. I had been employed at the Wakamata Public Library since I was sixteen. However, after ten years and the economic downfall, more than half of the staff was let go. Unfortunately, I was one of the victims. I had loved my job; I worked in the Children’s Department and it was a perfect outlet for my creativity. I painted decorations, created promotional videos, blogged about books…life was good. And now…life was not so good.

I chose four or five of my favorite photographs, two of my best videos, and a link to my personal blog. Coupled with my resume and a gushing letter that explained my vast geekiness of late 90’s boy bands, I e-mailed my resume off and promptly forgot about it. I have to admit that my unemployment was causing a lot of problems in my life. For example, my husband, Hunter, was growing more and more frustrated. I will admit that I have always enjoyed being a little lazy, but this was more than that; this was depression. I let my wavy brown hair grow unkempt, knowing full well we couldn’t afford my monthly cuts and blonde highlights. I lived in my pajamas, hid my blue eyes behind my thick black glasses instead of wearing my contacts, and lost my appetite. Of course, looking back, losing my appetite wasn’t a bad thing; I actually hit my goal weight that I had been trying to get at for the past four years. As the weeks crawled by I continued my depressing routine of VH1, phone calls and resumes, and the occasional Wii Fit workout.



Mid-April

As the calendar crawled into April, I hadn’t received any callbacks for jobs and was pretty sure that we would be eating Ramen noodles for the rest of our lives when I received the e-mail. I was lying on the couch, VH1 Top Twenty Countdown playing in the background, when I saw the e-mail from Live Entertainment. Preparing myself for a rejection letter, my heart stopped. I read the e-mail; then reread it. In summary, I had been short-listed and they wanted to pay to send me to Florida to produce another example piece. I don’t remember putting the laptop down, but the next thing I knew Hunter was yelling as I jumped maniacally on the bed.

“What the hell are you doing?!” he yelled, trying to sit up and avoid getting kneed.

“I’m going to Florida!” I yelled right back.

Now, I probably should explain that my husband can be very grumpy when he has to wake up before he wants to. I was mid-air when he clamped his big bear claws on my arms and locked me into a sitting position. His green eyes sparkled with annoyance and his red hair was pointing in about five different directions. As menacing as that sounds, his Scooby Doo boxers and his baby face allowed me to remain happily oblivious to his anger.

“What are you talking about?” he grumbled.

I should also mention that I had honestly completely forgotten to mention to him that I applied for the internship; I didn’t think there was a chance in hell that they would have read my e-mail let alone shortlisted me. In the span of five minutes I gave Hunter the rundown, finishing off with a big smile.

“So, I’ve got to call them and then I’m going to Florida.”

“No, you’re not.” he replied. My mouth open to retort, he flopped on his side and pulled the covers back over his head.

“What do you mean, I’m not?” I retorted indignantly as I stared at the blue comforter.

“I mean,” he said, his voice muffled under the fabric. “You are not going to Florida. You need to find a real job. You said internship. Internship means temporary. Which means only for the summer. And that’s even if you get it. You’re going to be wasting your time when you can find a real job.”

“How can you call it wasting my time?” I could feel my face flushing. “I could be bringing in good money and have steady work, even if it is for a short time. Plus, I can still be sending our resumes even if I get this, which I probably won’t. But I WANT to try.”

“Well,” Hunter said with a hint of venom in his voice. He pushed back the covers. His jaw was set…I knew the look all too well. “I can sum it up like this…I forbid you to go. I don’t want my wife gallivanting around Florida alone.”

“I won’t be gallivanting! I will fly down, they will take me to what I need to do, and I will come back.”

“We’re done talking. You can’t go. That’s it.”

With that he flung the covers back over his head. Fuming, I stomped out, slamming the door behind me. With dramatic flair, I flopped onto the couch and blew a piece of hair out of my eyes. So that was it?

Half an hour later I was sitting in my mom’s car using her cell phone to call Live Entertainment.

Chapter Two

May 1

So there you have it. I’m on a plane to Florida to see if I stand a chance. Going back to the rollercoaster analogy, I can officially say that sneaking out of the house last night and driving to the airport was pretty much a completely vertical drop where my stomach was concerned. When Hunter and I married I had promised to love and obey; I had done really well on the love part, but the obeying part was another story. Of course, I didn’t do it alone. My mom, an absolute feminist and my hero, was crucial in getting me to make the phone call and getting me on the plane.

“It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You have way too much potential to let something like this pass. Don’t worry about Hunter, I’ll sweet talk things over for ya.” With a huge smile she winked and clung to me tightly. Looking at us, no one would peg her as my mother. She was sixty, but didn’t look a day over forty-five. Her blonde hair was at a complete contrast to my own dark brown locks and she was able to maintain her slender frame and eat all she wanted. I would hate her, except I loved her too much.

So, with a deep breath and a wave, I boarded the plane. Besides the aforementioned smell of baby puke that wafted from a few rows back and my heart beating out of my chest, the flight was fairly uneventful. In fact, the pilot announced just moments ago that the plane was making its descent into Orlando International Airport. I survived my first coaster, now for the many to follow.

After the plane landed, I walked down the tarmac with the rest of my fellow passengers. I looked through the sea of people, finally spotting a short guy holding a Live Entertainment sign.

“Olivia?” the man inquired as I walked towards him. I nodded my ascent.

We claimed my baggage and then walked out into the bright Florida sunshine. The man opened the door to a shiny black limousine and waved me inside.

I have never been in a limo before. As my butt sunk into the rich leather, I had a very Cinderella-like moment. I looked down, but instead of glass slippers I was still wearing my Crocs. Another look around. No fairy godmother. No rats. All was still real. I pressed my face against the tinted glass and enjoyed the landscape as the limo pulled away from the airport to our destination. Twenty minutes later we pulled up to a swank hotel. Once more, the door was opened for me.

“They’re waiting for you inside.” the man said simply before scurrying back into the limo.

Taking a deep breath, I hitched up the strap on my duffel bag and headed inside. I knew the “they” were Tony Sanders and Anderson Little, the two men in charge of the summer internship program. When I first walked up to them, I could scarcely believe they were high executives. Dressed in jeans and casual tees, they both held out a courteous hand.

“So nice to meet you Olivia,” said Tony or Anderson (I didn’t know which was which). Whoever he was had jet black hair and an absolutely perfect tan. “I’m Anderson Little.”

“And I’m Tony,” the other said with a laugh. Tony was the complete opposite. Pasty white and balding, he seemed to be more of the executive type.

“Good to meet you both,” I said, coughing slightly as my voice came out an octave higher than normal.

“Here’s your room key,” Anderson said in return. “Get settled and meet us in the hotel conference room in thirty minutes for specific assignment details.”

“Okay. Thirty minutes.” I repeated. Taking the key I headed towards the elevator and ascended to the fifth floor. Things were moving so fast, but I had learned a long time ago to go with the flow.

When I entered my hotel room, my jaw dropped. For someone who was only in the running for a possible internship, no money was spared. The hotel room seemed bigger than my entire house. A huge flat screen television and a plush seating area was the first thing I saw. In a room off to the left was the largest bed I had ever seen. Attached to the bedroom was a bathroom to die for. A huge Jacuzzi tub, double sinks, and large makeup mirror had me drooling. It was a far cry from my couch where I had spent the last few months moping.

Heading into the bathroom, I changed into a pair of dressy jeans, blouse, and jacket. With a quick splash of cold water and reapplied makeup I felt ready to go. I had my camera and recording equipment with me as well as my laptop. Gathering everything up I headed back down to the conference room for my assignment.

Tony and Anderson sat at a small conference table. With a smile I set my equipment aside and sat down, trying to hide my sweaty palms.

“Just to let you know. Five hundred people applied for this internship. However, you are one in a field of three candidates. Most everyone else was crap.” Tony said. He had one of those smiles where you almost needed sunglasses while looking directly at him.

Anderson slid a folder across the table towards me. “Your assignment.”

Flipping open the cover, I sucked in a breath.

“We want twelve photographs, a three minute video , and a blog entry of the band. You’ll be doing this in about twenty minutes in the hotel’s concert hall. Questions?”

Questions ? Was he kidding me? I was staring at a picture of my favorite band, The Backstreet Boys. These were the five guys that adorned my walls my junior and senior years of school. I’m not ashamed to admit that I still bought their new albums. I had gone to every single one of their U.S. concerts. I was a fan!

And I had twenty minutes to get my act together.

“Olivia, any questions?” Anderson repeated.

“Questions? No, no…I think I’ve got it.” I said with a smile.

“Well, let us show you the concert hall and you can prepare your equipment before the boys arrive.”

The concert hall was directly adjoining the hotel. It was a small, intimate venue. I set to work unloading my equipment. I silently cursed my outdated equipment, but I knew that I had to work with what I had. As I sat checking my battery, I heard voices from the stage.

“Olivia, I’d like you to meet A.J., Brian, Nick, and
Howie.”

Dusting off my jeans, I stood quickly, camera in hand. The four members of the Backstreet Boys stood onstage, all smiling warmly.

“Pleased to meet you,” I said, my voice cracking slightly.

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” Tony explained. “The boys are going to do a twenty minute warm-up set. During that time you can get most of your photographs and your video. After the performance you’ll have ten minutes to do an interview and from that you can get something for the blog. Got it?”

“Got it.” I said, crouching back down, camera posed.

I could go into detail about every shot I took or video I captured, but in all honesty I just began to shoot and pray. I felt like a football player tossing a Hail Mary pass and praying for a touchdown. Only after the music stopped did I come out of my zone.

“Alright, time for questions. Throw ‘em at us,” Brian said, sliding into a sitting position at the edge of the stage. The other boys quickly followed suit.

Somehow I knew that this portion was the make-or-break part of my task. Smiling, I took a seat in the front row and studied the boys in turn. I decided to throw out a question and wait for a taker.

“What are you looking forward to when heading back out on the road?”

“The fans.” “New music.” “Pranks.”

“Okay Brian, Nick,” I said. “You said it together. What pranks do you have in mind?”

“Well if you get the job you’ll see for yourself,” Nick said quickly. I smiled, taking in his blue eyes and his blonde hair. “What about you Brian?”

“Uh-uh, not telling,” he said with a laugh.

“Okay, well what’s going on with the beard growth?” I asked instead. As my favorite, I preferred a clean shaven Brian. His curly dirty blonde hair made him look adorable; the hint of the beard made him seem more worldly.

“I’m going for the more mature look.”

“Ah, a mature prankster. Got ya. Let’s see…are wives and mini-mes coming on tour?” I asked. Brian and Howie were happily married. Brian’s son Baylee was seven and absolutely adorable. Howie’s son James was a few weeks shy of a year and looked so much like his dad.

“Absolutely,” Howie said. “This will be the first U.S. tour that I’ll spend with my wife and boy. I can’t wait.”

“And let’s see. A.J., the fans want to know. When’s your wedding?”

“Ah, can’t say,” he said with a grin. I could only assume his eyes matched his smile, they were hidden behind large studded sunglasses.

I laughed. “That’s fair.” My brain was scrambling to find a question that I could blog about that would set me apart from the crowd.

“Last, but not least. Which one of you would win a wrestling match in a large baby pool of vegetable oil?”

I had hit pay dirt. The look on all of their faces was priceless.

“I’m going to say AJ,” Howie finally said. “Because out of all of us he’s the one that’s probably already done it.”

“I second AJ. One time I ate something that must have been soaked in vegetable oil for days and I got bad sick. Plus it would be hell on the hair. AJ’s almost bald so my money’s on him.” Nick said. He began laughing even as AJ punched him in the arm.

“I—“ Brian began to say.

“Time’s up!”

I sat back, pen in hand. Tony and Anderson walked out on stage.

“Thanks, guys,” I said with a smile.

“How’d she do?” Tony said, addressing the guys.

“She did great man. She was like a shadow. I didn’t even see her doing her thing,” Nick said, winking at me. “Plus she gave a mad interview. She gets my vote. Can we vote?”

“You guys will judge once we have all three candidates.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” I said, standing up. I shook each man’s hand in turn.

“Bye Livvy,” Nick said. “Can’t wait to see your work.”

I watched them disappear off stage. Part one was over. And Nick called me Livvy!

Chapter Three

After the Boys left, Tony and Anderson told me to head back up to my room. I would have the rest of the day and all the next to prepare my presentation before heading back home.

I would like to say that I enjoyed the sights and sounds of Orlando, but unfortunately I spent every waking hour working at the laptop. Even so, the last few hours of my presentation were finished out on the porch, enjoying the sun and the view of a gorgeous beach and crystalline water. The next morning I handed my presentation to Anderson and Tony and three hours later was flying back home.

In the hubbub that ensued, I had almost forgotten that I had flown to Florida without telling my husband. As I arrived back home, I looked around for my mom and almost swallowed my tongue when I saw Hunter standing just paces away, arms crossed over his chest.

“Hi!” I said, pasting on a nonchalant smile as I walked up to him.

“Get in the car,” he said, stomping off towards the exit.

I quickly found my luggage and hurried off after him. After buckling in, I turned to look at him. His jaw was set, but I could tell that I could break him.

“Are you mad?” I asked sweetly.

“What do you think?”

“I think you are. But if I get the internship it pays a lot of money.”

“How much?”

“Ten thousand.”

“DOLLARS?”

That seemed to do the trick. After almost running off the road, he quickly looked at me, the road, and back at me.

“Yes, dollars. And if I get it I promise I will keep applying for a job once summer’s over.”

“Well…” he said, trailing off. “I suppose…when do you hear if you’ve got it or not?”

I smiled. I had him right where I wanted him.

“They said next week.”

With the ice thawed, Hunter returned to his normal self. We talked, ate dinner, and settled in to watch television. Ah, the life of an old married couple.

Hunter and I married four years ago. Aside from the Backstreet Boys, Hunter was my high school crush. Unfortunately, it took him five years after graduation for him to ask me out. As soon as he did, we never looked back.

Life was great until I lost my job. I prayed that things might return to normal once I was a productive member of the family again. Our biggest wish in life was to find stability and to work on a family. Before losing my job, we struggled for two years to make that a possibility. With the prospect of exploring more scientific options to grow our family and the expense associated with it, our dream had dimmed. The stress from that and everything else had made us grow distant in the past few months. As I curled up next to him on the couch, I crossed my finger for the phone call.

May 11

As a week came and went, I made up my mind that the phone would never ring again. Several times a day I picked up the phone just to make sure there was a dial tone. Each time I was disappointed to find that the phone was indeed functional. In fact, if the time and temperature operator was a real person she would have blacklisted me already for as many times as I called per day.

Finally, one night as I was fixing dinner the phone rang. Wiping spaghetti sauce off my fingers (I’m a messy cook), I scooped up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Olivia? This is Anderson.”

“Anderson? Anderson! Oh, yes, hello!” I said, wincing at my overenthusiastic tone.

“We have some news for you.”

“O-ookay.”

“This was an extremely tough choice for us. Everyone’s work was very well done. In the end we had the Boys come in and give their honest opinion. They helped us make our choice.”

”Oh. Well thank you anyhow.” Somehow in the course of his speech I had already heard him in my head saying that I wasn’t chosen.

“Thank you anyhow? No, you don’t understand. I’m calling to tell you that you were chosen for the internship.”

“I appreciate your t---what?”

“We need you down here in four days. Will that be a problem?”

“A problem? No, no…me? I was picked?”

“Yes. The Boys said that you were very easy to talk to. They liked that they didn’t feel grilled about personal issues; you have a good conversational tone that translates well and it’s what the fans are interested in. Now, can you fly down on Friday?”

“Friday. Friday?” I looked at the calendar. Four days. “Yes, yes I can.” I saw Hunter mouthing to me. Making a frantic waving motion, I grabbed a pen and paper.

“Yes. Just give me some specifics. I’ll be ready.” I jotted down the flight number.

“Congratulations Olivia. See you Friday.”

I hung up the phone slowly.

“So?” Hunter said, dunking a noodle into his mouth.

“I got it!”

“Yes! – Wait. What are you doing down there?”

“Oh…”

I should probably mention at this point that my husband absolutely hates my fixation with the Backstreet Boys. I already knew he wouldn’t take this information well. I could almost see the word “forbid” dance in the air.

“I’m taking pictures and promotional materials for a group who’s touring this summer.”

“Which group?”

“The Backstreet Boys.”

“What?!”

“It’s a dream come true. Opportunity of a lifetime. Ten thousand dollars.”

“No, no, no. I don’t need you to be some groupie gallivanting around with four guys on a bus. That’s disgusting.”

“I’m not gallivanting. I’m doing a job. I’ll get to see the country. You can visit me. They’re coming around here. It will be fine. Ten thousand dollars.”

Luckily for me, the word forbid didn’t enter into the equation. The phrase “ten thousand dollars” was hard to argue with when more bills arrived in the mail daily.

“You trust me don’t you?” I finally said with a smile.

“Of course. It’s other people I don’t trust.”

“Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.”

So, four days and one long goodbye kiss later, I took my second flight to Orlando for what I was sure would be an amazing summer.

Little did I know how amazing it would be – amazingly good and amazingly bad.

Chapter Four

I was becoming a seasoned pro as I stepped off the plane. The same short man greeted me and after another limo ride we pulled up to the hotel I stayed at before. Once again, Tony and Anderson greeted me in the lobby.

“Olivia, so good to see you again!” Tony said with a smile. Anderson greeted me with a hug. I could smell the tanning oil emanating from his skin.

“This is the last time you’ll be seeing us for awhile, but we wanted to let you know that we are so happy to have you on board.” Anderson handed me another folder. “This is the itinerary for the entire summer. The Boys are starting off with two concerts in Florida. The first is in Orlando here next week. Then you’ll hit the road. You’ll be responsible for the Boys Twitter page, Facebook, MySpace, and the Fan Club portion of the website. While everything is important, the Fan Club is especially important because fans pay good money for insider material.”

“Will do.” I said with a smile. I had been a fan club member years ago and knew how important those updates could be.

“If you have any questions please call,” Tony added. “My cell phone number is in there. Go get settled and enjoy Orlando for the next few days. Your first job will be sound check and from there...well you’ll know what to do.

With a feeling that I was being tossed into shark infested waters without a safety net, I headed up to my hotel room. A large gift basket adorned the bed and to my astonishment held a new video cam, digital camera, and laptop. I spent the rest of the day playing with the equipment aside from a couple quick phone calls to my mom and Hunter to assure them that I was alive and well.

I’d like to say that I spent my free time lounging on the beach with an ice cold strawberry margarita, but I’d be lying. Truth is, I spent one amazing day enjoying ocean life at the aquarium and the rest of the time I spent fiddling with my new toys. Before I knew it the day of the first sound check had arrived. I spent thirty minutes trying to make my rats nest of hair do what I want (like that ever happens), and another thirty minutes deciding on what to wear. Finally giving myself a mental check, I chose a boring jeans/t-shirt combination in case I had to army crawl along the floor for a good photo or two.

A car was scheduled to pick me up at 11:00. I had my bags packed; roadie life would begin that evening. I had always wondered how life would be like on a tour bus; now I was going to experience it firsthand.

I was a little disappointed not to see the little dude and a limo. Instead a fairly impressive imitation of The Rock stepped out of a black car and motioned for me to hop in the passenger side. He took my bags as if they were stuffed full of feathers, tossed them in the trunk, and we were on our way.

“So,” I said with a smile. “Are you a professional driver?”

He grunted and I almost missed his answer in the mix. “Security.”

“Why do I need security?”

Shrug.

“Are you security for the tour?”

He shook his head no.

I could tell by this point that conversation wasn’t his strong point. Luckily, the ride didn’t take long. My driver pulled up to the Hard Rock Live, took my bags, and walked off.

“Where are my bags going?” I called out after him.

“Bus.” came the grunt.

I followed him. I’m sure I was like a pesky fly to him, but I wanted to make sure I knew where my luggage was and where the busses were. We went through a security gate and rounded the corner. Five long black buses were grouped together; farther away sat equipment semis. “Rock” headed over to the closest bus, opened the door, and slung my bags inside. Nodding at me, he lumbered off.

“Thank you?” I called out. He had already disappeared.

I climbed on the bus and bent down to retrieve my bags.

“Hi. I’m Andrea. And you are?”

Slightly startled to hear another voice, I almost dropped my bags again. Grabbing a hold of the strap, I smiled shyly and straightened up to put a face with the voice. A gorgeous dark haired woman in a sexy outfit was leaning against the wall of the bus, smiling at me.

“Uh, oh, I’m Olivia,” I said, extending my hand. She shook it, then brushed past me.

“Are you the techie? You’re going to be sleeping here with us, the dancers. If you want, get your pass on and you can follow me. I’m always late.”

Digging through the folder I found a Crew Pass. Tossing my luggage on a long couch, I slung the strap of my equipment bag over my shoulder and headed off after Andrea.

“Heard you’re the intern,” Andrea said. “I think that’s the wrong word for it.”

“Why?”

“Well,” she said, stopping to reapply her lip gloss. With a smack she turned to me.

“You really have no on the road supervisor. You’re like the one. Y’know?”

I had no idea what the one was supposed to mean.

“Well, I guess that’s weird, but in a way it’s an internship because it’s not a job that’s going to last forever.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” she said with a sigh. “Oh well, c’mon.”

I followed her through a side door that led us right backstage.

“Have you meet the guys?” Andrea asked.

“I did. They all seem nice.” I said. She smiled.

“Yeah. Too bad most of them are taken. I’d take AJ in a second.”

“Well, Nick’s single.” I said reciprocating her smile.

“Hun,” she said with a laugh, putting her arm around my shoulder. “I don’t do blondes.” With that she bounced off towards a dressing room. I headed in the direction of the stage.

I walked across the stage floor, hopping over crew members fiddling with last minute touches to the sound system. I headed in the direction of the audience seats, watching as one of the guys taped the set list to the stage. He smiled and waved. I returned the gesture.

“Haven’t seen you around,” he said.

“I’m Olivia. I’m the techie,” I said, using Andrea’s word. The guy laughed.

“I’m Paul. I think I heard Nick say something about you. Watch your back. They always prank the newbie.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said with a laugh. Paul winked and headed offstage.

I was changing the settings on the video cam when a shadow fell across me from above. Lifting my head I met a smiling pair of blue eyes. Nick.

“Hey Livvy, welcome back,” he said. He hopped over the seats and landed in the seat next to mine.

“Well, I think I have you guys to thank for that,” I said, attaching a lens to the camera.

“You had us at vegetable oil,” Nick said with a laugh. “With all the crazy stuff we do we need someone that can capture it and laugh along. You seem to fit that mold.”

“Being unemployed hasn’t given me a lot of opportunity to laugh and relax, but I’m more than ready to keep up with you guys.” I said, reaching into my bag.

“We also heard that you’re a huge fan,” Nick added, leaning down to catch my eye again. I blushed.

“You could say that,” I said. Nick bounced up and hoisted himself onstage.

“Prove it.”

“What do you mean prove it?” I cried. Nick tapped on two microphones; they responded with a live crackling.

“The other guys aren’t ready yet. We have twenty minutes before soundcheck. Karoke time.”

“Go right ahead. I’m going to set up this…”

“Nope. Up here now.”

Reluctantly I set the camera down and climbing the steps.

“You really don’t want to do this. I can’t sing. I break glasses. I kill cats.” I said.

He responded by placing a microphone in my hand.

“Then this will be even more fun,” he said with a laugh. I pouted; he grinned. Nick hopped off stage and headed towards the sound mix booth.

“What am I singing?” I called out into the dark auditorium.

“If you’re a fan, you’ll know!” he answered from the booth.

My palms sweaty, I waited for the music. I didn’t even attempt to ready my voice. What you heard is what you got.

The music started and I groaned right into the microphone.

“You’re kidding,”

“Just sing!”

PDA started blaring through the entire auditorium. Glaring menacingly into the darkness,
I began to sing…every single part, word for word. After a few seconds of God, what am I doing? I began to enjoy myself, not caring how I sounded, just determined to prove that I knew the song by heart. As the song ended, I stuck my tongue out.

“Happy?”

“Nope, you needed to turn around and shake the booty. I’m testing on dance moves too. I think we need one more song.”

I rolled my eyes. “Nick I—“

The music started again. I knew immediately it wasn’t a Backstreet song…this one was 100% Nick. Beautiful Lie, his duet with Jennifer Paige started playing loudly. As I sung through the first verse, I saw Nick sneak up the steps. He grabbed the second mic and joined me. When we got to the chorus I turned to him. He looked impressed, I smirked. Together we headed into the chorus.

If this isn’t love what did I feel inside?
If this ain’t love how could you look in my eyes?
‘Cause my heart is breaking I’m falling this time
This can’t be love, now I know
You’re a beautiful lie.

After the song ended, I promptly handed the mic back to Nick. “Did I pass?”

“For now.”

“You know, the crew warned me that you guys are going to prank me,” I said innocently.

“Us? We’re angels,” Nick said with a laugh.

“Hey, what did we miss?” Brian said headed onstage.
Howie and AJ trailed after.

“Karaoke time.”

“Damn,” AJ said, grabbing a mic. “I wanted to hear Nick sing Paparazzi.”

“Oh, don’t get him started on that. Let’s get down to business guys,” Howie said.

I slide off the stage, heading back to my seat. Sitting down to get my camera, I heard a horrible noise erupt from my backside. At the same time I could hear the telltale laugh from the stage. Looking up I saw Nick grinning; Brian was trying to cover up his laughter unsuccessfully.

“A whoopee cushion? Really?” I said, reaching behind me and holding up the offender. “The best you could do?” I asked sweetly.

“An oldie but a goodie,” Nick responded.

“You know what they say about paybacks,” I said.

“They’re a bitch.”

Chapter Five

The sound check was extremely entertaining. Some lucky members of the fan club were invited in for the check and their enthusiasm seemed to have a great effect on the guys. After 45 minutes of great music, the guys took the time to greet each fan and sign autographs. I was able to capture some fan interviews (most obsessing over Nick) and logged on to Twitter for a status update before heading backstage.

I was locking up my camcorder in one of the lockers when the guys came backstage.

“Hey Livvy,” Brian said, taking up Nick’s nickname for me. “Want to come with us for dinner?”

“Sure,” I said with a grin.

“Meet us outside by the busses in about 45 minutes,” AJ said.

“Aye, Aye, Cap’n,” I said with mock salute before heading back to “my” bus.

Climbing aboard, all was quiet; the backup dancers were having a dinner of crisp lettuce before changing into their outfits for tonight.

I changed into a more concert-worthy outfit, hoping that I wouldn’t slop any food on myself in the meantime. A pair of low slung black jeans, a matching tank top and a pair of hoops completed the ensemble. Lamenting that I needed to get my hair done on one of the stops, I swept my hair up and headed out to meet the guys.

Howie was the first one waiting outside. In his arms was his baby boy, James. By his side was his wife, Leigh. I had never seen her in person; she was absolutely beautiful. They made a striking pair. Howie tossed James in the air, both of their faces lighting up in delight.

“Hey Howie,” I said. “You must be Leigh,” I added, holding out my hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

“It’s good to meet you too. You must be Olivia?” she said, tilting her head. The green-eyed monster had me wishing my hair looked half as good as hers.

“Yep, that’s me. I’m the guys’ shadow this summer,” I said.

“Say hi James,” Howie said. He lifted James’ pudgy arm. James did the rest of the work.

“He’s absolutely adorable, Howie,” I said, giving James a baby high five. His grin was contagious.

“Adorable? You must be talking about me,” AJ said, walking up. His fiancée, Rochelle, held onto his arm. She had a laid back air about her that made me like her instantly. I also loved how in love AJ looked when he stole a glance at her.

“Not quite. James beats you on adorable factor. Actually, he beats you on hair quantity too,” Howie said, grinning. AJ gave him the finger, then turned to me. “Rochelle, meet Olivia. Olivia this is my fiancée, Rochelle.”

“Pleased to meet you,” I said.

Moments later I was introduced to Brian’s wife Leighanne and their son Baylee. Baylee was as cute as a button, a spitting image of Brian. He seemed to have inherited his dad’s humor as well, chattering nonstop until Nick finally arrived. Nick looked extremely preoccupied.

“Everything okay?” Brian asked, eyeing him.

“Yeah, fine. Let’s go, I’m starving.”

We all piled into a large black van. Nick and Howie argued for a few minutes about where to eat, but finally George, the driver, was given our destination and we were off. In the car, everyone chattered amongst themselves. Leigh was the first to turn to me, a kind smile playing on her lips.

“Are you married Olivia?” Leigh asked .

“Yes, I am. I’ve been married four years.”

“Any children?” Leighanne chimed in.

“No,” I said quietly, my smile wavering just slightly. I laughed to cover the awkwardness. “I have enough trouble taking care of my husband.”

The girls laughed; the boys rolled their eyes…except for Nick. He was studying me, and he looked, dare I say, a little disappointed. I saw his eyes stray to my wedding band and then back to my face. He then turned back to his cellphone.

After another ten minutes of idle chit chat we arrived at the restaurant. We were seated at a round table in the VIP section. Nick had lost the battle; the restaurant was Howie’s pick. Opening up the menu I saw tons of entrees, most of which I had never heard before. The few I understood turned my stomach: octopus salad and shark. Glancing around nervously, I saw that Nick and Brian were already looking at Howie.

“Dude, what is with you and weird food?” Nick asked. “You’re going to burn a hole in your stomach with
all this crazy shit.”

“Be adventurous Nick,” Howie said with a laugh. “Even though every country in the world seems to have a McDonald’s it’s nice to eat something different every now and then.”

“What’s Baylee getting Bri?” Nick said, ignoring Howie’s little lecture. I laughed.

“Chicken fingers!” Baylee called out. Brian studied the menu then made a face.

“Dude they don’t have chicken fingers.”

“Macaroni and cheese!” Baylee said loudly.

After about ten minutes, Brian, Leighanne, Baylee, Nick, and I ended up at the McDonald’s across the street.

“It’s not that we don’t like different foods,” Leighanne explained as she walked with me to the table. “Baylee’s not that picky, but with Howie talking about McDonald’s and then Bay seeing the Golden Arches through that restaurant window it was all over.”

“Well, I’ve got to admit, I like his taste,” I said. We laughed as we slid into the booth.

Forty-five minutes later Leighanne and I sat watching Brian and Nick trying to coax Baylee out of the ball pit in the Playland. Brian was holding his shoes; Nick was leaning halfway into the pit. I practically snorted my Diet Coke out of my nose as I saw another kid pop out of the balls and hurl a red plastic ball at Nick’s head. It hit him square in the forehead.

“Brian’s feeding Nick to the lions,” Leighanne said, sipping her sweet tea. “The last time Brian had to get Baylee out of the ball pit he was attacked by about five kids. Then he was attacked by their mothers once they realized who he was.”

“Doesn’t it ever get scary?” I asked. Her face got a little more serious.

“It does, but with every negative aspect comes the positives. The guys have some of the best fans in the world. Plus Baylee has opportunities that other children could never even dream of…uh-oh.”

I followed her gaze; my eyes widened in surprise. Obviously Nick had been pounded with one ball too many. Grabbing my digital camera I turned it on to video just in time to see Nick belly flop into the balls. Kids flew out from all sides, yelling and running to their mothers. In one fell swoop Nick locked his arms around Baylee’s waist and struggling to get footing, passed him out to Brian.

I paused the camera, starting it again when the guys came outside.

“Great teamwork!” I said.

Nick looked at Brian. Brian was grinning ear to ear, so was Baylee.

“It’s not funny. That’s the last time I’m playing wingman at McDonald’s, Littrell.”

“You just need to work on your technique, Carter,” Brian said. Then he looked straight into the camera. “Did you catch the dive? Nick loves him some balls.”

I burst out laughing, shutting off the camera.

Ten minutes later the brave souls from the octopus restaurant met up with us and we headed back to the van. Nick was still half-scowling. Brian filled AJ and Howie in on the events, Baylee added commentary where necessary. We pulled up to Hard Rock Live all in fairly good spirits, all except Nick who had been glued to his cell phone, texting away.

The van stopped and we piled out and headed back into the venue. The rest of the evening was pretty much a blur. The concert was amazing. Whatever was bothering Nick took a backseat at the guys took the stage. I ran into Paul and told him about the whoopee cushion incident; he told me I got off too easy (and to watch my back). I watched Andrea dance across the stage, envious of her legs that seemed to never end. I only hoped that the other dancers would be half as friendly to the “techie” as she was.

I had expected some clubbing to go on after the concert. Instead, everyone went to their bus, checking that all luggage was accounted for and things were ready to go. All this happened under the bright lights beside the venue in conjunction with dozens of flashlights making eerie shadows on the blacktop. Andrea showed me my bunk and I stowed my bags away safely. After a quick shower, I slipped on my PJ’s. As each of the girls came onto the bus, said a quick hello, and tucked herself into her bunk, I sat up on the couch, pouring over the day’s photographs and videos and compiling late into the night. The busses took off around two o’clock in the morning. After another hour on the computer and several glances out the window to watch the open highway stretching out for miles, I stowed everything away and finally crawled into my own bunk.

The first day had been fun and exhausting; even so, I struggled to turn off my brain. I couldn’t help thinking about every photograph I took and every video I shot. But admittedly the thing weighing on my mind the most was the fact that something was bothering Nick.

Chapter Six

I awoke the next morning with my little bus window slightly open. The air had a certain sweetness to it and the smell of grass tickled my senses. Rolling over onto my back I stared out the window. The sun shone brightly. All was quiet. I was either the first to awake or I had overslept. Considering I was the last asleep, my money was on the latter.

Pulling back the curtain, I swung my bare feet down onto the cold ground. Not a sound. I took a cold shower (everyone else had used the lukewarm water; it never seemed to get hot) and dressed for the day. I was sitting on the couch, making sure I had all my equipment when I heard a knock on the bus door.

“Come in!” I called. The door creaked open and Leighanne poked her head in.

“I thought you might want to spend a girl’s morning with me in my hometown,” she said, smiling. “I don’t know about you but a little hair and nail therapy sounds good to me.”

“You’re an angel,” I said with a laugh. “But,” I glanced at my watch. It was 11 o’clock – ugh. “The sound check begins in an hour.”

“I hope I don’t sound like a horrible wife,” Leighanne said. “but trust me you can miss one soundcheck. I have a feeling the guys will want to party after the concert tonight and you can make up for it then.”

“Well---“ she had me at hello…I mean at hair and nails. “You’ve made me an offer I can’t refuse!”

It was obviously an offer that Leigh and Rochelle couldn’t refuse either. Leighanne had her own car for the day; the Littrell household was right in Atlanta so she wasn’t kidding when she said we were in her hometown. Baylee was spending the day at a friend’s house and Leigh had James tucked safely by her.
As Leighanne drove she pointed out some of Atlanta’s finest landmarks.

“And this, ladies, is Atlanta’s greatest landmark,” she said parking and pointing to a small building in the center of downtown.

It was a cozy hair salon. We all bustled out of the car and into the shop. Leighanne made the introductions and we were all ushered to chairs. After a consultation, the hairdressers got to work and the conversation picked up.
“I found out what was bothering Nick,” Leigh said, one eye on her hair, the other on James.

“What? Besides carpal tunnel, that is. He was outside his bus texting the whole time Brian and I were double checking our bags,” Leighanne said, pointing out a stubborn strand of blonde hair. The hairdresser nodded and continued.

“Lauren.”

A chorus of “Oh’s” answered.

“That sums it up,” Rochelle said. Her hairdresser was slathering her hair with an interesting shade of dye.

“Lauren?” I asked, curiosity getting the best of me.

“His girlfriend,” Leighanne said. “Well, ex-girlfriend. But she’s not leaving him alone.”

“She doesn’t realize he’s not ready to commit,” Leigh added. “He’s still working on finding himself.”

I had completely forgotten about Lauren. I had read on Perez Hilton a little about their relationship and about it being on the rocks. In fact, Perez Hilton and VH1 were the equivalent of crack cocaine for me – I was withdrawing from VH1, but I could check Perez on my laptop daily. Of course, it was even better getting the scoop personally.

“I don’t think she was right for him,” Rochelle added. “I only met her a few times but she seemed way too reserved.”

“Says the girl that’s getting her hair dyed what color?” I said teasingly.

“Pink. Just highlights. It’ll look really cute with this one shirt I have that AJ loves,” she said sending a wink my way from the mirror.

We all shared a laugh and settled in for a few hours of pampering. Afterwards, we stopped for salads at a beautiful outdoor bistro before heading back to the Entertainment Center. I felt completely refreshed. My nails didn’t look like they had been nibbled on by piranhas and I felt sexier with perfectly placed blonde highlights and a fresh cut. I had never paid so much in my life, but it was well worth it.

“Well, look who finally showed up,” AJ called out loudly as we made our way backstage. The boys sat in folding chairs, paper plates loaded down with food – nothing that remotely looked as healthy as our salads. Howie licked his fingers and whistled.

“Looking good, ladies,” he said. Setting down his plate, he took James’ carrier and kissed Leigh lovingly. “Muy bonita.” he purred.

“Your PDA-A-A-A-,” I sang. AJ laughed.

“Well?” Rochelle said, tapping her boot impatiently.

“Lookin good,” AJ nodded, picking up a barbequed wing.

“That’s it?” she said haughtily. AJ swallowed quickly, puckering up his sauced lips.

“Not until you wipe, McLean.”

As I stood watching the love fest around me, I didn’t notice Nick sneak up behind me.

“I like the hair,” he whispered in my ear. I turned, but he was already walking off, his face buried to his phone screen.

Stealing away from the couples, I took a moment to call home. Finding a quiet hallway, I sat down, resting against the cool wall. The phone rang once, twice…finally on the third ring Hunter picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey babe,” I said, smiling slightly. “What’s up?”

“Hello?”

“Hunter?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s Olivia. I was just calling to say I missed you.
How are things going?”

I heard a large yawn and the sound of the alarm clock being picked up. He was checking the time.

“Are you sleeping?” I asked. I checked my watch. It was three o’clock.

“Just, just waking up,” he mumbled.

“Well I just wanted to tell you things are going fine and
that I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

I waited for him to say something else, but I feared he was already nodding back off to sleep.

“I love you.” I said.

“Hmm? Love you too,” he mumbled even more softly.

I hung up the phone and knocked my head very gently back against the wall. I reasoned that he must have had a late shift the night before. Even still, I was hoping for more.

“I’m guessing that went as well as my phone call.”

I looked up to see Nick towering above me. He smiled a little sardonically, holding up his cellphone. “Women.
Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t live without them.”

“Men. Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t live without them.” I retorted. We both smiled. Nick stuck his hand out. Hesitating just a second, I placed my hand in his large warm one and he pulled me gently to my feet.

“Let’s get to work,” he said, heading off down the hall. I quickly followed. He stopped in front of the Boys dressing room.

“Want to come in?” he said teasingly. “You might get a good video out of it.”

“In the dressing room?” I said with a squeak.

Laughing, Nick opened the door and pulled me inside. My
heart did a nice little rhythmic thump-da-thump-thump as I flew through the door.

AJ, Brian, and Howie looked up surprised. Each one was in a various stage of dress. Luckily (or some might say unfortunately) each was decent. Brian snapped his suspenders, grinning.

“Nick, you’re late,” Brian said, tossing him his jacket.

“Livvy wanted to record,” Nick said in way of explanation.

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t resist the opportunity. I reached into my bag and pulled out the camcorder. Howie saw it first, and snatched it up. Holding it at arms length he stared into the lens.

“Welcome to the dressing room. For anyone interested in a real behind the scenes look, search no farther. Ladies, I give you Nick Carter getting dressed.”

As if on cue, Howie swung the camera in Nick’s direction. I stifled a gasp at how quickly he had undressed when I wasn’t looking. Standing in his skivvies, Nick smiled cockily, putting his hands on his hips. I had seen pictures, but the sight of his abs gave me a hot flash. Resisting the urge to fan myself, I stood stock still, wondering how this was going to play out.

“Nick, describe what you’re doing,” Howie said in a mock serious voice.

“Well, ladies, you see, I’m getting dressed. These are pants,” Nick explained, holding the pants right up to the lens. At this point Brian grabbed the camera from Howie. Flashing a quick cheeky grin into the lens, he turned the recorder back on Nick.

“Now, Nick. The world wants to know. Do you put your pants on one leg at a time?”

“Why, it’s funny you mention that Bri,” Nick said. “I actually just jump right in.”

It all seemed to happen so fast, but the best way to describe what happened is that it was a scene out of the movie Jackass. Nick held his pants and jumped. At the same time AJ sidled up and tripped Nick’s legs out from under him. With what looked like a painful crash, Nick landed face down on the floor, his pants bunched under him and his red and white striped covered ass flying up in the air like a ship’s mast.

Reviewing the tape I heard a gasp that could only be mine. The only thing I remember is running and kneeling down beside him.

“Shit. Are you okay?” I screamed, touching Nick’s shoulder. He was shaking violently.

I heard him gargle and a thousand horrible images floated through my head. He swallowed his tongue. He would never be able to sing again. He—

He was laughing uncontrollably.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” I heard Brian say. “That does it for this edition of In the Dressing Room. Until tomorrow…put your pants on one leg at a time. We’re out!”

Brian kneeled down and handed me my camera. Meanwhile, Nick had managed to get into a sitting position. He was laughing so hard that the tears were streaming down his face. Grinning, Howie handed him a Kleenex.

“Dude, that was awesome,” Nick finally said, gasping for air. “I didn’t see it coming.”

“You guys are insane,” I said. I didn’t think my legs would support me if I tried standing. All four of them just grinned at me.

“You haven’t seen insane yet. Wait until after the concert,” AJ said, putting the finishing touches on his outfit.

“AJ’s right,” Nick said, standing up. I reached up, handing him his pants. “We’re going to rock Atlanta tonight, baby!”

I was scared. Very scared.

Chapter Seven

I felt extremely guilty that night, leaving the day’s work in the bus while I headed out to enjoy Atlanta’s nightlife. But everyone, and I mean everyone, was going someplace. Andrea had invited me to go clubbing with her and the other dancers, but I politely declined.

“Have a better offer?” she guessed, smiling.

“No! I mean, it’s just someone beat you to it,” I explained.

“You mean someone tall, blonde, and handsome in a “blonde” sort of way?” she inquired, a knowing smirk playing across her mouth. I laughed.

“Nope. Someone dark and handsome in a Latino sort of way.”

“Howie?”

“Yup. James is running a little fever so Howie and Leigh are going to take a quick trip to the drugstore. Howie asked me to chaperone.”

“Good luck with that,” Andrea said, laughing. “I heard about your dressing room experience earlier today. You have your work cut out for you.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” I said with a laugh as I finished getting dressed. Before she left, Andrea handed me a huge pair of hoops to go with my little black dress…and a condom.

“What’s this for?” I said, flipping the package over in my hand.

“Safety first, girl.” she said.

“I’m married,” I explained, pushing it back towards her. “I’m not getting into any trouble tonight.”

She pushed the package back into my hand.

“Remember the boy scout motto. Just in case.”

With that she bounced through the bus. I watched through the window as she took off after the other girls clustered in the parking lot. I stared at the foil wrapped package in my hand. The only thing I could think about was whether the Boy Scout motto really was just in case. Somehow I doubted it. Tucking the package under Andrea’s pillow, I grabbed my purse and headed out into the steamy Atlanta night.

Now, I think I need to take a moment to explain that I’ve never been clubbing before. I had heard the stories; I had seen VH1’s Sober House. I knew clubs meant booze and drugs. I knew clubs meant trouble.

What I didn’t know was that I’d never be let back into one in the Atlanta area.

I met the “group,” sans Howie and Leigh, in the parking lot. Leighanne was playfully keeping the car keys out of Brian’s reach.

“Let me drive Leigh,” he said, making a grab for them.

“Nope, I’m DD,” she said with a grin, stepping back and holding the keys even higher.

Nick swooped in with a height advantage, grabbed the keys and tossed them to Brian.

“Somehow I think I’m going to be the one being DD,” Nick explained. Brian smiled. “Good point.” He shook the keys in Leigh’s face and sang flirtatiously, “I’m gonna get-get-get you drunk.” Leighanne rolled her eyes, but gave him a sultry look.

Chatting amongst ourselves, we headed to the car. Somehow, we all managed to fit, even though I ended up half sitting on Nick’s lap.

“This is nice and cozy, eh, folks?” AJ said, his arm draped across Rochelle’s bare shoulders.

“If you say so,” I said laughing.

“Why are you complaining? You don’t have a bony butt pressing into your leg,” Nick teased.

“Hey, peanut gallery! Quiet in the back,” Brian said in his best “dad” voice. “Don’t make me turn this car around.”

“Yes da-ad,” Nick sang in high soprano. Brian made a face in the rearview mirror. “If you were my son I would have left you in the ball pit a long time ago.”

After awhile I tuned out the light-hearted bickering. Atlanta was a huge city and I stared in awe at the mix of big city life mixed with southern charm. Twenty minutes later we pulled up to the Opera Night Club. We hopped out of the car; Brian handed the valet his car keys. From the outside I could hear the music as clearly as if I was already inside.

“Right this way, folks,” Brian said, ushering us around the corner from where the long line of people waiting to get in was sweeping down the street. After a quick chat with a huge bulk of a man at the side door, we entered the VIP area.

I wish I could give a rundown of everyone’s actions that night, but truth is, I let Howie down on the babysitting task. AJ and Rochelle disappeared onto the dance floor. Brian and Leighanne made their way to the bar. Nick led me to a plush booth.

“Want something to drink?” he asked as I scooted and bounced along the seat.

“Why don’t you get me what you’re having?” I said with a smile.

Nick disappeared and I looked around. The room was dark and a little dizzying as several disco balls threw prisms of light helter skelter. A club mix track blared out of invisible speakers. I glanced around, wondering if I’d see Lindsey Lohan or any other celebrity star or starlet causing scandal, but all in all it must have been a slow night in Atlanta.

After about ten minutes, I had started to give up hope on ever seeing a living Backstreet Boy again when Nick sidled back over to the booth. Handing me my drink, he slid in next to me. As he did an identical slide and bounce across the seat, I turned slightly, sneaking a sniff of the cup.

“Diet Coke,” he said. I smiled, hoping he couldn’t see me blush.

“I knew that,” I said, wiping my palm on my bare leg. “I was just checking the fizz content.”

Nick’s eyes crinkled; he gave me a knowing smile. Taking a big sip, he looked around the club.

“Am I going to talk you out on the dance floor tonight?” he asked without turning his head in my direction.

“I can’t dance,” I said sweetly, taking a sip of the drink.

“You can’t dance or you don’t dance? There’s a big difference.”

“I can’t…and I don’t.”

At that moment a beautiful blonde came up to the table. She looked like a cross between Britney Spears and Heidi Pratt.

"Are you Nick Carter?” she said in a voice that would have made Minnie Mouse run screaming out of the building.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nick lean back. He caught my eye and smiled.

“Why, yes, I am.” Nick said, extending his hand. “You are?”

“Rebekah. Oh, I’m like such a fan. Wanna dance?”

I could see the wheels turning in his head. I narrowed my eyes.

“Why, I was just telling my friend here,” he motioned in my direction. “I was just telling her that I’d love to dance. But see, she can’t and she don’t, so…”

“I’ll dance,” I hissed through clenched teeth. Nick turned in mock surprise.

“What was that? You’ll dance?” Nick smiled up at the blonde. “I guess I’m going to have to take a rain check.”

“I’m here all night,” she said sweetly, bouncing off. I was marveling at how she remained upright considering how top heavy she was, when I felt Nick’s warm breath tickle my ear.

“I’ll take that dance,” he said, his voice silky smooth.

Taking another big gulp of Cola (and hoping that a bathroom break would save me from utter embarrassment), I let him take my hand and lead me down a winding staircase to the dance floor. The floor was packed with bodies. The amount of silicon in the room was daunting. I prayed the music would change to something slow; I could easily fake my way through a slow dance with my seventh grade dance moves. Unfortunately, the music continued to thump loudly.

Looking towards the exit, I began to shuffle my feet, feeling a little bit like Godzilla in heels.

“You can do better than that!” Nick said loudly. “Look at me!”

That was my downfall; I shouldn’t have listened to him. Looking up into his face I saw his smiling eyes. He stepped closer, his hands sliding along my waist. My mouth went dry; I really needed that Diet Coke. His body moved automatically to the music and somehow he must have passed on his rhythm gene through his warm palms. I felt myself relax.

“See? Not hard.” Nick yelled over the music. I laughed. He stepped even closer.

“CUTTING IN!”

I stepped back, caught off guard. Before I knew what was happening, Brian had taken Nick’s place.

“HAVING FUN?” he yelled.

“YES!” I yelled back.

“GOOD!”

Brian finished out the song and then disappeared into the crowd. I looked around for Nick, but he was nowhere to be seen. Weaving through the mass of bodies, I made my way back up to the booth.

Nick was slouched way down in the seat, his fingers flying over his cellphone. He didn’t look up until I was sitting right next to him.

“You disappeared on me,” I said.

“Sorry,” he said, sliding his phone in his pocket. “I was getting a little bit jealous watching you bump and grind with Brian.”

“I was not bumping and grinding with Brian,” I said, flipping my hair indignantly over my shoulder. Nick grinned.

“So tell me,” he said, his face turning slightly wolfish as he slid closer to me. “since you’re a Backstreet fan…who’s your favorite?”

“What?” I laughed. “That’s so high school.”

“So? Whose picture did you have plastered on your bedroom wall?”

“Justin Timberlake,” I said sarcastically.

“Was it me?”

“I’m not telling,” I said, laughing as he came leg to leg with me in the booth.

“I have ways to make you talk,” he said. Before I could slide away his fingers began to tickle my side. With a laugh and shriek that would have made hyenas jealous, I tried wiggling away from him to no avail.

“Stop!” I gasped, twisting this way and that. His fingers were unrelenting. I reached behind me, running my hand along the wall. I was hoping to find something to grab onto for leverage to pull myself away when my fingers wrapped around what I thought was a coat hook above the booth. I gave a mighty tug and slid back away from his grasp.

And that was when the water started pouring down.
What I had thought was a coat hook was a fire lever. The music stopped and the quiet was punctured by the shrill wail of the fire alarm; the white disco lights were interspersed with the flashing red of warning. I gasped as the cold water rained down in unrelenting torrents. Nick hoisted me to my feet and we headed towards the exit; others ran by shielding their heads with arms or jackets.

A half hour later I stood outside, wrapped in Nick’s jacket, feeling like a very stupid, very drowned rat. I had given a statement to the fire chief and the police and was given a lecture on the danger of creating a false alarm. This was coupled with the club owner’s declaration that I wasn’t allowed near Opera again; not that I would have shown my face in there again anyway.

Of course, Nick took as much of the blame as I did, apologizing profusely to everyone (and I daresay slipping some money for damages). As the policemen walked away, he came up, smiling sheepishly.

“You okay?” he asked, tugging his jacket tighter around my shoulders. I nodded.

“Good job Carter,” AJ said. He sat on the curb, Rochelle leaning against him. He ground a cigarette out onto the street with the heel of his boot.

“It was my fault,” I said. “I was the one that pulled the lever.”

“Nope, that had Nick written all over it,” Brian said, weaving his way towards us through the crowd. Leighanne smiled kindly at me.

“You know,” she said. “AJ promised a crazy night and you and Nick brought it. No harm, no foul.”

“Leigh’s right. But,” Brian checked his watch. “I think we better call it a night.”

Brian and Leighanne dropped the four of us off at the busses, and then headed out to get Baylee. Nick and I stopped outside his bus; he rested her arm above my head as I leaned against the black exterior.

“I guess we should say goodnight,” he said softly, searching my face. My heart began to pound faster at the implication.

“Yes, I suppose we should,” I said softly.

“I had a lot of fun,” he added.

“Fire alarm and all?” I said teasingly.

“Fire alarm and all.”

His face lowered towards mine; my stomach felt like a rollercoaster picking up speed before making a plunge. Panicking, I ducked out from under his arm. Swinging his jacket off my shoulders, I placed it in his free hand and began walking backwards.

“Sweet dreams!” I called, heading quickly to my bus. Nick opened his mouth, but I didn’t stick around to hear what he said.

I knew full well who would be haunting my dreams that night.

Chapter Eight - Mississippi

I passed the night fitfully, finally admitting defeat around four in the morning. Sleep would not come; my mind was clouded with thoughts of a certain blonde gentleman. As the bus swayed to and fro, I slid out of my bunk and padded out to the couch to work on the footage from the day before. I couldn’t help but laugh as I reviewed the dressing room footage. I posted it, eager to see the fan comments.

Around five o’clock the busses stopped to refuel. Quietly, I slipped out into the early dawn stretching my arms heavenward.

“Hungry?”

The smell of donuts assailed my senses. I let out a moan of pure ecstasy.

“I’ll take that as a yes. C’mon, I’ve got orange juice and coffee too.”

Following the smell of warm yeasty dough and chocolate, I followed Nick up onto his bus.

“Don’t think this will make up for last night,” I said. He lifted the lid of the white cardboard box; I swooped in for the kill.

“About last night—“ Nick began. I held up a hand, my cheeks full of doughnut.

“Fuhgetaboutit.” I said between chews. I swallowed hard and took a swig of orange juice. “It was just a long crazy day,” I added smiling.

“Well, I promise no craziness today. It’s a free day. We should pull up to the IP Spa and Casino in a couple of hours.”

“Spa? That sounds amazing,” I said. The sweet pulp from the juice danced along my tongue. “I have to admit that I haven’t been able to get used to the bunks. I could use some spa treatment”

“Ugh, I don’t miss the bunks,” Nick said. He paused thoughtfully. “C’mon.”

“What? Where?” I said, setting down the remainder of my doughnut. As I followed him, I looked back at it longingly.

“Try this out for size,” Nick said, opening a door at the back of the bus.

A large bed took up most of the room. The curtains were pulled; the room was cool. It looked like heaven.

“Oh,” I said softly, touching the bedspread.

“Lay down,” Nick said. I gave him a look. He snorted.

“Dirty mind,” he chastised. “Lay down. Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

Before I could argue, he walked out, closing the door behind him. Rubbing my eyes, I crawled onto the bed. The mattress wrapped me in a soft cocoon. I sighed contentedly, pulling a pillow close to my body. Burying my face into the cloth I inhaled deeply.

Everything smelled like Nick. Fortunately, I didn’t have time to ponder the significance of that realization too deeply; I fell asleep almost instantly.

---------------------------------

“Livvy? Livvy, wake up.”

I groaned, smashing my face into the pillow.

“C’mon,” Nick said, shaking my shoulder. I didn’t budge.

“Are you always this hard to wake up?”

With a sigh, I opened an eye and looked up at him.

“This is heaven.”

Nick laughed. “Trust me, it’s not heaven until I’m in there with you.”

I rolled my eyes and slid reluctantly off the bed. I noticed the bus had stopped.

“We’re here?” I asked.

“Yup. I took your bags up to your room already. You have a non-smoking, non-snoring room, so watch it.”

“Ha-ha,” I said, trying to smooth down my hair as I followed him outside.

The IP Spa and Casino loomed ahead; it seemed to stretch up towards the clouds.

“Pretty cool, huh?”

I nodded. He handed me a room key.

“You’re sharing with Andrea,” Nick explained. “Why don’t you go get freshened up? I’ll meet you outside your room in about an hour.”

“Oh?” I said, flipping the key around in my hand. “What’s going on in an hour?”

“You’ll see,” Nick said mysteriously. With a suave kiss of my hand he bid me adieu, then headed in the direction of the casino.

I took the elevator up to the fifteenth floor. I quietly entered the room, looking around to see if Andrea was there. She wasn’t. Grabbing a fresh change of clothes I headed towards the bathroom.

The tub was calling my name. Usually I’m a shower girl, but every now and then I enjoyed sitting in a bubble bath until my fingers turn pruny. Today was one of those days. I set all of the jets on the whirlpool and, as the tub filled, read all of the labels on the complimentary bottles. Dumping in a strawberry scented bubble bath, I watched the bubbles froth and foam. Undressing, I eased into the water. I threaded my hand through the bubbles and closed my eyes in bliss.

I took so long that the water ran cold. Resisting leaving my bubbly world, I filled the tub up once more, setting the jets on the whirlpool tub even higher, hoping the circulating water would stay warmer longer. I leaned my head back, listening to nothing but pure silence.

Procrastinating as long as possible, I finally came to the conclusion that my hour was pretty much shot. Nick would be waiting for me. With one last splash, I started to sit up to turn off the jets when my head was yanked back. I yelped in surprise; my hand flew to the back of my head in horror. My hair was stuck in one of the jets. I did the only thing I could think of: I panicked. Unable to sit up I couldn’t turn off the jets. I was stuck.

“HELP!” I screamed, yanking at the offending strands of hair. Tears sprung to my eyes from the pain. I slapped at the side of the tub angrily, stopping as my fingers touched the edge of my cell phone. Sliding my body as far as I possibly could without scalping myself, I grabbed the phone, spitting out a strawberry scented bubble along the way.

I flipped the phone open; then stopped. Who was I going to call?

I tried Andrea first. Her phone went immediately to voicemail. As I lay cussing, flipping through my contacts for Leighanne’s number, I heard the sound of pounding on the hotel room door.

“Shit,” I said. I found Leighanne’s number; the phone rang several times and then kicked to voicemail. The pounding on the door increased.

Feeling as if I was going to regurgitate my doughnut, and feeling once more like a very stupid, very drowned rat, I punched in Nick’s cell number. Spitting out offending bubbles, I held the phone to my ear, trying to keep from dropping it.

“Liv?” Nick said, picking up almost instantly. “I’m pounding on your door. Where are you?”

“Um.” Spit. “I need a little help.”

“What happened?”

“Uh.” Spit. “It’s hard to explain.” Spit. “Can you get in my room?”

“I’ll have to go to the desk. Where are you?”

My phone slipped through my sudsy fingers, into the water. With a string of expletives, I kicked my foot out angrily. I never wanted to smell strawberries ever again. I sat in the rapidly cooling water, the jets grinding away. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was going to die a shriveled prune in a whirlpool grave. Just as I was getting ready to recite my last will and testament, I heard the door to the hotel room open.

“Liv?”

“In here!” I called.

“Where?”

“The bathroom!”

Now I have to admit I didn’t think the logistics of my situation through very well. As I heard Nick fiddling with the lock, I came to the realization that I was, well, a little naked. Puffing out my cheeks, I began to blow the suds around, hoping that I could strategically move them to my lady bits before he managed to get the door open.

I was still huffing and puffing when Nick’s head poked in.

“What’s going on?”

“Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Close your eyes!”

“Okay, okay. They’re closed. What’s going on?”

“My hair’s stuck.”

“Your hair’s stuck?”

“In the jet. I can’t get out.”

I couldn’t see his face, but his laughter reverberated off the walls.

"You’ve got to be shitting me,” he said.

“Are your eyes still closed?” I answered.

“Honestly? No.”

“Well, close them!”

“How am I going to help you if my eyes are closed?” Nick said. He burst into laughter again.

“It’s not funny!” I said. I felt a large tear roll down my cheek.

“Oh crap. Don’t cry. I’ll get you out. Let’s see.”

Nick walked past the tub, a stupid smile plastered on his face. I watched him open a cupboard. He took out a pair of scissors.

“What are those for?”

“I’m going to have to cut you out.”

“I just got my hair done!”

“So?”

"Just try without the scissors,” I begged. "Make them your last resort."

Nick sighed, kneeling down next to me. He turned off the jet and went to work. Sliding his fingers into my wet hair, he worked quietly and methodically. I closed my eyes, hoping it would work, dreading the telltale “snip” of scissors.

“Got it,” Nick finally said. “And no scissors.”

I touched the back of my head, relieved to feel every strand free.

“You’re my hero!”

“At your service,” Nick said, grinning down at me.

I grinned back…until I realized the suds were almost gone. Blushing, I pointed past his shoulder.

“Could you hand me a towel?”

Still grinning, he picked up the towel. I grabbed it from him.

“Turn around.”

Whistling, he turned towards the mirror.

“Turn around another way!”

He turned towards the toilet. Quickly, I stood, wrapping the towel around my body.

“Okay,” I said. “You can turn around.”

Nick turned. I saw his eyes quickly trail down along the towel, then back to my face. His eyes twinkled mischievously.

“Need anything else?”

“No, uh, that’s it. I’ll be out in a minute.” I grabbed his arm, leading him towards the bathroom door. Before I could close the door completely, he put out an arm and leaned in.

“What?”

“I just want to say,” Nick paused. “I just want to say that we made the right choice picking you.”

“And why’s that?” I said, pulling the top of my towel a little tighter.

“Because it’s only the third stop and I already know that I’m never going to be able to get you out of my mind.”
With that he pulled back, closing the door. I stood there, mouth agape. Only a door and a towel stood between me and Nick Carter.

A door, a towel, and, oh…

A wedding band.

Chapter Nine

With my ego damaged more than my roots, I got dressed. As I brushed my hair, I couldn’t help but wonder if Nick might give up and leave if I just decided to stay in the bathroom for, oh, the rest of my life.

“You okay?” he called.

“Yes!” I called back.

“You can’t stay in there the rest of your life,” he said teasingly.

Tossing down my hairbrush, I squared my shoulders. I opened the door and headed out into the bedroom.

Nick lay on my bed, arms behind his head, his ankles crossed. He sat up as I crossed the room.

“Alright,” I said, throwing my arms out. “I’m here. I’m in one piece. What did you have in mind for the day?”

“Well,” Nick said, stifling a laugh. “I was going to see if you wanted to join me on a riverboat dinner cruise that strolls up the Mississippi, but I think you might have had enough water for the day.”

“Affirmative,” I said. In the back of my mind I could already see the candlelit table and hear the soft lapping of the river water as soft romantic music played. The scene had trouble written all over it.

“Well, I guess it’s on to plan B,” Nick said, hopping off the bed.

“Which is?”

“You’ll see.”

Twenty minutes later we stood at a cell phone kiosk in the hotel.

“How’d you know my cell phone took a dive?” I asked, picking up a phone.

“Well, the last thing I heard was a watery plop,” Nick said, picking up an IPhone. “After I, uh, saw your predicament, I put two and two together.” He held out the IPhone to me. “You need one of these.”

I smiled, taking it from him. I gently placed it back on its display base. I picked up a basic flip phone.

“I think this is more my speed.”

“It doesn’t even have a keyboard. How are you going to QWERTY?”

I laughed. “I don’t need to QWERTY.”

Nick picked up the IPhone again. “Everyone needs to QWERTY. At least once daily.” He handed it over to the clerk.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m breaking your QWERTY cherry. You’re getting an IPhone.”

“I’m not accepting a phone from you.”

“You’re not,” Nick explained as the clerk started the activation. “You’re accepting a phone from Howie. He pays the bills.”

“Well then, I think I better talk to Howie,” I said, stepping away from the booth. Nick’s hand wrapped gently around my arm; he turned me back towards him. His eyes were soft and warm.

“Please?” He whispered. “Just take it?”

I sighed softly. I wanted to argue, but it was like yelling at a puppy dog. “I owe you.”

“No, you don’t.” Nick took the phone from the clerk, handing it to me with a wink. “You have no idea what good therapy you are for me.”

We walked away from the counter. Nick looked around the lobby, finally hoisting himself up on a ledge that was hidden from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the area. I slid up next to him.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re refreshing. You don’t throw yourself at me. You know how to take a joke. And you have the best smile in the world.”

I blushed.

“Plus you keep me entertained. Here give me the phone, I’ll show you the basics.”

Nick spent several minutes going over the finer aspects of the IPhone. I nodded, trying to absorb everything I possibly could. It was like a mini computer. I could handle it. At least I thought I could.

“Call me.”

“What?”

“It’s your test. Call my number.”

I took the phone. After a little bit of fumbling, I heard his phone ring. He slid it out of his pocket and held it to his ear.

“Got it?” he asked, speaking into the mouthpiece. I lowered my phone.

“I think so,” I said.

“No, you got to talk into the phone,” Nick said.

“What? That’s stupid you’re—“

Nick shook his head, pointing to the phone in my hand. Sighing, I put it to my ear.

“I got it.”

Nick smiled. “Excellent. Any other questions?”

“Just one thing…” I said, lowering the phone to stare at the screen again.

“What’s my phone number?”

-------------------------------

An hour later I sat in the gym, watching Nick and Howie, dripping in sweat, battle it out to see who could last the longest on the treadmill. Every five minutes they would set the incline steeper and increase the speed.

“This is stupid,” Howie gasped as Nick reached over and upped the controls on Howie’s machine. Nick returned to his own treadmill and did the same.

“Endurance!” Nick said. The gel holding his hair airborne was long gone. The blonde strands stuck to his forehead. The white t-shirt was transparent with perspiration, his abs clearly defined. Howie was in a similar state, but perhaps a little worse off in a soaked black tank top that I just knew was keeping all of the heat close to his body.

Not wanting to miss anything good, I set my camera on the tripod. I needed to give out my new phone number that Nick so kindly wrote down for me on a scrap of napkin. I called my mom first. After giving her my new number and explaining as vaguely as possible what happened to my old one, she filled me in on the little things that were happening back home.

“And what about you? Are you having fun, sweetheart?” she finally asked.

“I am,” I admitted. “You were right. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

“How are the Backstreet Boys?” she teased. “Do you like them as well in person as you did with them hanging on your bedroom wall?”

I laughed. “Yes. They exceed expectations.”

Mom gave a knowing click of her tongue. “Well, baby girl, enjoy yourself and call me soon.”

“I will,” I promised. “I’ve got to call Hunter with my new number. Love you.”

“Love you too, sweet pea.”

I successfully finished my first phone call. Searching through the contacts (which had taken me forever to plug in), I punched speed dial for home. I glanced at my watch; it was a little after four. He would be awake.

The phone rang twice; then I heard the line pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hunter? It’s Liv. I just wanted to call with my new
number.”

“New number? Why’d you get a new number?”

“I dropped my phone and it broke,” I said. “I had to get
a new phone.”

I waited for a response; several uncomfortable seconds of silence filled my ear.

“Was that before or after you were romping around in a dressing room with four guys?”

My eyes widened and I stifled a gasp. “What are you talking about?” Nick turned his head in my direction.
He caught my eye and frowned; he motioned to the treadmill as if asking if he should stop. I shook my head no. After hesitatingly momentarily, he resumed his run, glancing my way every now and then.

“Jess posted the video on Facebook,” Hunter said, referring to my best friend. “You didn’t tell me your job required shooting pictures of men playing around in their underwear,” he added sarcastically.

I laughed nervously. “Oh that,” I said. “I was just getting behind the scenes footage.”

“Well I think you need to stick to taking pictures of them prancing around the stage and singing their stupid has-been songs.”

“They don’t prance,” I said, my voice rising an octave. Nick turned to look at me again, I gave a little wave and turned slightly. Hunter was just getting started.

“Listen,” Hunter said angrily. “If you want to fuck around, whatever. Just don’t think

I’m going to sit here with blinders on and be made a fool of. I’m just really disappointed. I didn’t think I
married a slut.”

I sucked in a breath. Blinking back tears, I said softly. “I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just doing my job.”

I could hear Hunter breathing heavily on the other end of the line, gearing up for another round of verbal assault.

“I love you,” I added quietly.

The breathing stopped. I heard a click and the sound of a dial tone.

“Mother---“ I growled, punching what I thought was the End button angrily. I let out a scream as Lady Gaga started blaring from the phone instead. Every head in the gym turned to glare in my direction. At the same time I saw Howie fly off the treadmill.

“AHH!”

I stood up, the phone practically shaking from the extreme noise of the music. Nick quickly pressed a button, bringing his treadmill to a stop. He looked from me to Howie; he seemed to be deciding which of us needed more help.

Tossing my phone to him, I ran to Howie. He was soaked, his chest heaved as he tried to push more air through his lungs. I looked down at him; he waved his white towel in surrender.

“I’m done,” he gasped, sitting up and dabbing his face. “I liked it better when Nick was fat.”

“Hey!” Nick said. With a punch of a button my phone settled back into pure silence. “I was never fat.”

“Fine. Pleasantly plump,” Howie rescinded. Pulling himself off the floor, he smiled at me sheepishly. “You got that on camera didn’t you?”

I laughed, but my mind was still replaying the conversation with Hunter. I looked back to see the red light lit up. “Yes, I did. Every bit.”

“Not your finest moment Dorough,” Nick said handing the phone back to me. “You smelled what the Carter was cooking,” he added flexing.

“Oh shut up,” Howie said. He headed in the direction of the showers. Nick looked at me.

“You okay?” he asked, nodding at the phone.

“Hmm? Yes, I’m fine,” I said. Nick arched his eyebrow.

“Really. I am.” I said, plastering on a horrible imitation of a smile.

“Oookay,” Nick said slowly. He took a step towards the showers, then paused. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

"Alrighty. I’ll meet up with you guys for dinner.”

“Sounds good. It should be normal food tonight. Brian made sure there was a kid’s menu.” He took another step towards the shower, then turned. “I’ll call you if I get trapped in the shower.”

That brought about a genuine laugh.. “Okay. But, you better hope I can remember how to answer a phone call.”

He made a praying motion with his hands, then headed off towards the showers. I packed up the camera and rolled my shoulders. Every muscle in my body seemed strung like a taunt rubber band.

I crawled into bed that night utterly exhausted. Dinner was uneventful; everyone seemed relaxed after a day of play. As we sat finishing dessert, everyone made plans for a night at the casino, but I bowed out. Claiming exhaustion, I headed up to my room, trying to ignore the questioning look in Nick’s eyes. I set my new phone on the nightstand and buried under the covers. Resting my head on the cool silk pillow, I stole a look at it sitting there stoically, innocently. It was amazing how one little thing could stir up so much emotion. On one hand, I thought of how sweet Nick was buying it for me; on the other hand, I could still hear Hunter’s angry words in my head.

Wondering when life got so complicated, I snuggled into the lush Egyptian cotton sheets. Praying for a brighter tomorrow, I nodded off to sleep.

Chapter Ten – Massachusetts Bound

If someone couldn’t tell that I was an inexperienced roadie before, the night after the concert at the IP Spa and Casino proved it. I was packing my bags when Andrea walked in.

“What are you doing?”

“Packing?”

“Why? Do it in the morning,” she said, falling back on her bed with a happy sigh.

“The concert in Mass. is in two days,” I said, sitting on the edge of my bed. “The last time I checked,
Massachusetts and Mississippi aren’t next to each other.”

Andrea laughed, rolling over on her stomach. “I know that. We’re flying,” she explained. “The busses have already taken off.”

“Ohhh,” I felt the stupid sign lighting up above my head. “That makes sense.”

Andrea giggled. “Want to hear something amazing?”

I lay back on my bed. “I could use a little amazing. What’s up?”

“You know Paul? The cute guy who always wears the tight jeans that mold his ass?”

I laughed. “I know who Paul is, but I can’t say I spent much time staring at his backside.”

“Well, after the show he came over and asked if I’d sit next to him tomorrow on the plane,” she said, arching her eyebrows.

“Oooh,” I said, smiling at her excitement. “When’s the wedding?”

Andrea’s pillow came flying at my head. Laughing, I caught it before it smacked me in the face.

“You don’t understand,” she said, sighing dramatically. “I mean he’s gorgeous; he actually looks a little like AJ. Not so many tattoos, but he’s still a
good substitute.”

“You and AJ,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re obsessed,” I chided good-naturedly.

“Well,” Andrea paused, propping her chin on her hand. “Aren’t you a little obsessed? I bet your husband looks like Nick.”

I snorted. “Oh that’s a good one. No, he definitely doesn’t look like Nick.”

I leaned over, pulling my wallet out of my purse. Flipping through the pictures, I stopped at one taken the year before at Christmastime. I held it up for her to see.

“That’s Hunter,” I said.

“Really?” she said, leaning over to get a better look. “Huh. More Brian than Nick,” she concluded. I flipped the wallet over, staring at the picture.

“Brian? Really?” I squinted at the picture. I didn’t see it.

“Yeah, like the nose. And the haircut. A little. You got to use your imagination.”

I had always thought my imagination was pretty good; Andrea’s put mine to shame.

“I guess so,” I said, even though I didn’t see it. Tucking the wallet back in my purse, I dimmed my bedside light.

“Well, I guess I’m going to enjoy this bed one more night.”

Andrea laughed and stood up.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I’m going to Paul’s room,” she said slyly.

“You’re kidding!”

“Well,” she said, picking up a tube of gloss and liberally applying it across her full lips. “Sharing airplane space is pretty personal. I shouldn’t do that until I get acquainted, right?’

I shrugged in defeat, rolling my eyes as she bounced out of the room. I couldn’t ever remember a time when I had been that carefree.


----------------------------------

The next morning, I sat staring out the window of the plane as Nick hovered above me, stowing our bags in the compartment above. Finally he slid next to me, smiling.

“You know, I haven’t really seen you since the gym,” he reminded me. “I feel like I was replaced by a mattress.”

I grinned sheepishly. “I’m caught up on sleep. I promise.”

I pulled out my laptop and camera, setting them on the pull down tray in front of me. Before I could stop him, Nick picked up the camera, flipping it on and turning it towards himself.

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I’m Nick Carter and I will be your pilot for today. We are currently on our way to Massachusetts for our fourth stop on our U.S. tour. Now for weather conditions. What’s shaking Howie?” Nick said, leaning across the aisle to get a close up of Howie.

“We’ve got turbulence. James just pooped,” Howie said. “Hold your breath. I can’t change him till we’re elevated.”

“Ew. Oo-kay, moving on,” Nick said, pulling back quickly. He turned the camera on me.

“Here we have our intern Livvy,” he said. I looked up surprised, holding my hand up to the lens.

“Nooo,” I mouthed. Nick laughed, pulling my hand away.

“Isn’t that cute? She’s shy. Livvy, why don’t you explain to the folks at home what you’re doing.”

I forced myself to smile, telling myself I’d delete the footage as soon as I got the camera back in my hot little hands. “I’m going to upload the concert photos from last night onto the fanclub site as soon as we’re allowed to turn on electrical equipment,” I explained, hoping he’d take the hint. Nick grinned in understanding, but instead of turning it off he flipped the camera back onto himself.

“Well, folks, if you don’t see me again you’ll know I’m in FAA custody,” Nick explained. “Bri, you going to bail me out of jail?” He swung around in his seat, pointing the camera back at Brian.

“Hmm, I don’t know. What do you think Baylee?” Brian said, looking down at Baylee. Baylee looked up from his coloring book.

“Okay,” he said. “Wanna color?”

Brian laughed. Leaning towards the camera, he smiled. “I’m cutting Nick off, but we’ll be talkin’ to ya’all real soon,” he said with a thick layer of southern twang. He reached up and hit the off button.

“You’re no fun,” Nick pouted. I grabbed the camera.

Before Brian could respond, the pilot came on over the intercom, giving the standard emergency instructions. I leaned back, my ears popping like crazy as we rose into the air. As soon as we leveled out and were given the all clear, I turned on my laptop. Nick leaned over my shoulder.

“Did you enjoy the concert last night?” he asked. I nodded, flipping through the pictures.

“Of course. You guys were fabulous. Like always.”

Nick smiled, watching quietly as I worked. The process was therapeutic. After awhile, I paused to stretch. Out of the corner of my eye I saw fluffy white clouds flying along with the plane. I squirmed a little thinking of how high we were above land, then dove right back into my work as a distraction.

“Do you have a favorite song off the album?” Nick asked after awhile. He cracked open a bag of complimentary nuts and tossed one into his mouth.

“Which album?”

“The new one.”

“Yup,” I said without a pause, switching over to work on the video.

“Which one?”

“Masquerade.”

I heard Brian groan behind me. Nick laughed.

“Why do you like it?”

“Well,” I said, pausing a frame. “Every time I hear it I see this vision in my head.”

“A vision?”

“Yeah. It’s silly, but I kind of see it played out like an updated version of the Everybody video. You have the girls in the corsets and flowing skirts and you guys in the puffy shirts. Only the girls have on masquerade masks. When Brian holds out the long note I can see you guys picking up the girls and twirling them in the air, their skirts adding artistic color and movement.” I waved my hand in front of my eyes, seeing it played out behind my eyes. “I also picture this elevated stage like you had for the European tour. When you sing I gotta know, the girl behind the mask, I can see the girls running up the stairs onto the upper platform. Once they’re up there they fling off their masks and jump down into each of your waiting arms. It’s so Romeo and Juliet.”

I took a deep breath. No one said anything. I felt my face turn red.

“Ugh, sorry,” I said. “I just get carried away.”

“Sorry? That sounds cool. It would give me something else to do instead of just standing there holding a note forever,” Brian said.

“It would be a cool thing to do before the encore,” AJ said. “And it would make a cool music video,” AJ added.

“Ugh, you don’t need to humor me AJ,” I said. I looked at Nick for support, frowning at the smile that played upon his lips.

“I think we should do it.”

“Puh-lease,” I said, shaking my head.

“What? I think it sounds cool. It would be neat to tie it back to Everybody.”

I turned back to the laptop, still shaking my head. The guys began to talk logistics, pausing only long enough for Howie to scoop James up for a second diaper change. By the time we landed in Massachusetts, they had several sheets of notes and a rough sketch.

As we walked through the terminal, Nick fell in step with me.

“I’m not talking anymore,” I said, shaking my head.

“Why?”

“Because. It’s dangerous.”

AJ caught up with us, waving the plans in the air.

“Good thing we like danger.”

Chapter Eleven

After a busy afternoon of phone calls, Howie gathered everyone together to discuss the growing possibility of doing a video for Masquerade. We all met at the Bank of America Pavilion, watching the crew do preliminary setup and enjoying a comfortable breezy evening. With plates loaded down with pizza, Howie began to discuss logistics.

“I’ve got a New York warehouse booked for the day after tomorrow,” Howie began. I choked on a pepperoni.

“Day after tomorrow?” I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “How’s that even possible?”

“It’s possible,” Howie assured. “We have three days in New York. One day is a press junket, one day is the concert, and the other day was a free day. Was a free day,” he emphasized.

“Okay,” I said, pausing. “How is the set going to get done, you guys learn the choreography, and get fitted for costumes between now and then?”

Howie grinned.

“With a little help from our friends.”

-------------------------------------

The next morning I headed from the bus to the Pavilion. I had slept fairly well and the hint of a busy day got me motivated.

I entered the Pavilion and made my way to the stage. I saw a group of people sitting in a circle of chairs, heads bent together in deep discussion. I made my way towards them quietly, then stopped short.

Our group had multiplied overnight. The crowd gathered was like a Who’s Who of Backstreet history.

“Oh my God,” I said out loud before I had a chance to stop myself.

Nick sat straddling his chair. He looked up, eyes sparkling.

“Good morning,” he said, motioning to the empty chair to his left. “You’re just in time, take a seat.”

My eyes wide like a kid in a candy shop, I sank down and looked around again. Howie started the introductions.

“Olivia, this is Fatima. Fatima, this is our tour photographer and videographer, Olivia. She’s the one that had the idea.”

I blushed profusely. Fatima had been an integral part of the Boys’ choreography back in the day when the boys were just making it big in the states.

“Great to meet you. The guys were just going over the concept. This sounds really cool,” she said, bouncing in her seat with repressed energy.

I was speechless; all I could do was nod. Brian piped in from my left.

“And this is Kevin Richardson.”

I looked around Leighanne and saw Kevin, his wife Kristin sitting next to him. On introduction, he stood, coming
over and giving me a hug.

“Great to meet you. I don’t think I’ve heard these guys sound so excited in a long time. Plus, I’ve never seen Howie do something so spontaneous.”

“Hey!” Howie said. He turned and winked at Leigh. “How do you think we got James?”

We all laughed. “I still think this is insane,” I said. “I’ve never heard of something like this coming together so fast.”

“But,” Nick interrupted. “it is possible. We have the building and we’re pulling in favors and taking advantage of some free labor.”

Everyone agreed I sighed in defeat. The guys made a few more introductions, then went over the notes from the day before.

“I did the choreography on Everybody,” Fatima began when the general plan was reviewed. “ I’ve listened to Masquerade on my flight in this morning. I can totally see this happening,” she said.

She passed around a few more sheets of notes.

“I worked with Howie over the phone last night and between the two of us I think we have a rough sketch of the production,” Fatima added. “Look it over.”

I glanced down at the neatly typed sheets in my hand and began to read, my vision unfolding on the paper in black and white.

Production Notes

Opening shots - Individual scenes (non musical)

Brian wakes up in bed next to Leighanne in “the castle” and looks around confused. Baylee walks in; he looks like a miniature wolfman. Brian sees him, screams, and then looks at his own hairy hands and touches his hairy face. He runs out of the room. Leigh follows. Baylee jumps on the bed and howls.

Howie walks down a hall, twirling his cane and wearing the Dracula costume. He opens a doorway off the hall; vampiress Leigh is in the tomb of Dracula, surrounded by coffins and holding James, who is wearing a miniature version of Howie’s outfit. With a fanged smile, Howie takes Leigh’s hand and pulls her down the hallway.
AJ sits regally at the head of the mice filled table, once again costumed as the Phantom of the Opera. Rochelle sits next to him; she leans over and feeds him a grape. Grinning she gets up, disappearing
flirtatiously. AJ follows.

Nick rests in his tomb. Hearing a noise, he opens it and looks around, seeing only the backside of a female mummy taking off out of the pyramid. He takes off after her, bandages trailing behind him.

Cut to circular room – song starts

Everyone still in costume: wolfman, vampire, phantom, and mummy, dancing. Girls dance behind them in corsets and flowing skirts in different colors (red, purple, gold, blue). Backup dancers / “extras” dance behind the girls (including Kev and Kristin).

It’s a masquerade / a love parade – At this point the boys turn, grabbing their partner and waltzing with them, similar to steps in original Everybody video.

Stay with me tonight – Long note is cue; the girls are lifted in the air at this mark. When Brian pauses for breath and then continues to sing ight, the girls should be lowered and dipped seductively.

At the start of the next verse, girls once again dance behind the boys, still costumed. The waltz and chorus steps are repeated. Alternating close-up on each guy.

I gotta know the girl behind the mask – The girls run up the stairs, looking behind them as the guys step towards them. Once the girls reach the upper platform, the boys should be positioned directly underneath, beckoning to them.

Show your face to me we could be everything – The girls slide off their masks, once more and jump into their guy’s arms. This should be presented as a slow motion sequence, with a close up of each girl falling.

Costume change ¬ - The guys should be in the peasantry outfits worn in the Everybody video upon catching the girls. After the catch, the video should return to normal tempo and the same waltzing, lifting, dipping is repeated.

End shot - Close-up of each couple kissing.

Fin

I sat back, exhaling a breath that I didn’t even know I was holding.

“So?” Nick said, hugging the back of his chair.

“This sounds better than I imagined it,” I admitted.

With that the group continued to etch out plans until sound check. As I readied the camera, Brian walked by, tussling my hair.

“Better get a case of Red Bull,” he said.

“Why?”

“It’s going to be a crazy couple of days.”

“It’s already been a crazy couple of days,” I reminded him.

“Well,” Brian paused, then broke out into song.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet!”

Chapter Twelve

Even though everyone was preoccupied with thoughts of the video shoot, the Boys had one of their best sound checks yet. With only a small skirmish with a frantic fan desperate to get a lock of Nick’s hair, it was practically uneventful. In fact, Brian even sang Masquerade without looking like he was sitting in the dentist’s chair. The enthusiasm was palpable.

I sat fanning myself with some scribbled notes as the guys walked out of the dressing room, AJ leading the pack.

“It’s going to be a hot evening for those jackets,” I said.

“The more clothes we have on, the better chance we have of making it out alive,” AJ quipped.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Nick said from behind him. My eyes widened.

“What the hell is on your head?”

In direct contrast to the t-shirt, dress coat, and black pants he wore, Nick sported a red and white striped fishing hat.

“Protecting the locks, protecting the locks,” he answered, tugging it farther down on the forehead.

“You look like a dumbass,” Brian added.

“It’s better than being bald,” Nick replied. “No offense, AJ.”

AJ rolled his eyes.

I turned on the camera. Doing a horrible imitation of Joan Rivers, I zoomed in close on Nick.

“Nick Cah-ter, tell the fans are home what you’re wearing.”

With hand on hip, Nick smiled, lisping rather effeminately.

“Oh, where do I begin? The t-shirt is Ed Hardy and the pants and jacket are Dolce & Gabbana.”

“And the hat. Tell us about the hat.”

“The piece de resistance!” he said with flair, giving it another tug. “Walmart. Three-fiddy. Clearance.”

“You paid three dollars and fifty cents too much man,” Howie said. “You can’t wear that thing on stage.”

At that moment we heard the sound of the announcer’s voice rumbling through the anxious crowd. “Give it up for…THE BACKSTREET BOYS!”

The crowd went wild. Quickly Nick sent the hat flying in my direction. It seemed to stay airborne for a minute, before falling to the ground. I kicked it under a
chair.

“I’ll burn it later,” I teased. With a laugh he ran onto the stage.

The concert was amazing. Towards the middle of the show, Kevin bounded onstage to join the guys in Shape of My Heart and Drowning. The crowd went nuts. I got a warm fuzzy feeling; I couldn’t help but remember the thrill of seeing the Boys’ Millennium tour. I had always laughed when I saw girls bawling their eyes out on TV, but that was the night at sixteen years old when I finally understood what it was all about.

When Kevin came backstage after the songs, he was absolutely beaming. Kristin gave him a huge hug; after so many years it was easy to see they were still madly in love with each other. My heart gave a sad little pang at the thought that Hunter and I hadn’t looked at each other that way in a long time.

“Just like old times?” I asked, smiling as he wiped the sweat off his face with a towel.

“I still get the rush,” he admitted. “But then I think of all the things I’d be missing going back out on the road. As amazing as the experience is, seeing my little boy say kneeling by his bed saying his prayers is enough to keep me home.”

I smiled at the sentimentality. “I can’t blame you,” I said softly. “But you do a hell of a job out there.”

“I guess so. Not bad for an old man,” he laughed.

“I know twenty year olds that can’t move it and belt it like you,” I countered. Kristin smiled.

“I tell him that all the time.”

I left them backstage, heading back into the crowd. I had a secret goal in mind to create a montage at the end of the tour with the best concert moments for the fan club. I loved how every city showed their love in unique ways, whether by clothing, signs, or crazy acts like trying to rip Nick’s hair out of his scalp.

After the show, the guys sat around catching up with Kevin. I sat back, enjoying the camaraderie and listened to stories of the road.

“Remember,” Kevin said laughing. “When we were in Europe? Nick was about fourteen and we ended up in the red light district?”

“Oh, not this again,” Nick groaned, putting his face in his hands. Brian barked with laughter.

“Dude, it was priceless,” Howie added. “Why don’t the fire stations have doors for the trucks?” Howie said in a horrible imitation of Nick.

“It was an honest mistake. I thought the red lights indicated a fire house.” Nick shook his head. “That was before you guys corrupted me. I was still innocent.”

“Remember when we sang Tell Me That I’m Dreaming in Germany?” AJ said, his eyes sparkling. “After the performance we were supposed to say Danke Shein. And Nick,” AJ paused. The Boys laughed, already knowing the punch line. “I was standing by Nick and all I heard was…DONKEY KONG!”

“I was like twelve,” Nick argued. “C’mon, give me a break. Remember the first time a girl threw her bra onstage?”

It was Brian’s turn to groan. Leighanne smiled; I could tell she had heard the story more than once.

“He held it up,” Nick said, miming the action. “And his eyes grew absolutely huge; it must have been like a triple D or something. Well, he looked at us as if asking what he should do. We just kept on dancing. So Brian tries to put it in his back pocket and continues dancing. Well he’s moving and the thin is bouncing up and down and all I can do is stare at Brian’s ass throughout the whole song; I’m cracking up. Finally we make it through the song, I think it was Get Down, and then the crew brings out bar stools so we can sing As Long as You Love Me. So Brian starts to sit down, forgetting that this silky bra’s cupping his ass cheek so it basically turns him into a human slip and slide. He didn’t know what hit him. One minute he was sitting down, next minute he was on the floor.”

“And instead of just taking the bra out of his pocket and tossing it to one of the crew,” Kevin added. “He holds it up and says—“

“These things are dangerous,” Brian concluded, shaking his head. Leighanne had already started laughing. Brian nudged her playfully with his elbow. “Leave me alone. I conquered my fear, didn’t I?” he said teasingly, pulling her shirt away from her chest and looking down. She swatted at his hand, but grinned.

“This is fun,” Kevin said, stretching his arms above his head.

“It is,” AJ said. He glanced at his watch. “Shit. It’s midnight. If we’re going to make New York and Regis, we better get going.”

With a scrape of chairs and a chorus of goodnights, we disbanded.

Chapter Thirteen - New York

Twitter - Backstreet Boys @backstreetboys
Turn your TV on ladies and gents. The Boys invade Regis and Kelly Live in an hour!

I closed my laptop and looked around. I had never been in a greenroom before. I should have known it wouldn’t be green. The room was painted a bright yellow. A bright floral spray sat in the middle of a round table along with muffins, fruit, and juice.

“So what do you think?” AJ said.

“It’s not green.”

“They never are,” Brian said. He studied the set of cards he held in his hand, then looked at Baylee. “Go Fish.”

Nick, who had been in a good mood for the past few days, had fallen back into his funk. He stood in a corner of the room away from the hustle and bustle, texting like mad. He looked angry.

“Everything good in here?” a show hand asked, popping only his head through the door.

“All good. Thank you,” Howie said.
Five minutes later the show hand popped his head back in.

“There’s someone out here to see Nick Carter.”

“Who?” Nick said, turning towards the door frowning. The show hand disappeared momentarily; a few seconds later the floating head resurfaced.

“She says she’s a photographer. Lauren Kitt?”

“Son of a—“

Leighanne put her finger to her lips. Nick’s nostrils flared; he practically stormed out of the room.

“I knew this was going to happen,” AJ muttered. “No way were we going to get out of New York without her tracking him down.”

The room got relatively quiet except for the occasional “Go Fish.” From the hallway voices began to rise louder and louder. Minutes passed; suddenly the door flew open and Nick walked in. Lauren walked in right behind him.

“Nick, let’s talk about this,” she begged, pulling at his arm. He freed it from her grip, turning around.
“Lauren, what more is there to talk about? We’re done. We’ve been done for awhile. Please let me go.”

“Why are you doing this?” she hissed in a whisper.

“Lauren, please,” Nick pleaded, his voice turning gentler. “Please just go. Please stop texting me. I don’t know how many ways I can tell you that I don’t have the same feelings you do. We just won’t work. I’m not going to string you along, I’m not that guy. I’m sorry.”
At that moment security walked into the room.

“Is there a problem here?”

Lauren looked at Nick pleadingly.

“Goodbye, Lauren,” he said quietly.

Stifling a loud sob she spun around, brushing past security and out the door.

The floating head reappeared.

“Thirty minutes.”

I watched Nick walk into the bathroom. The silence in the room was awkward. Hesitating only a moment I got up, walking right into the bathroom. Nick had his hands on the sides of the sink, his head bowed, his eyes closed. I shut the door softly behind me.

“You okay?” I said, coming up next to him.

“I’m fine,” Nick said. He ran a hand down his face.

Raising his head he looked at me through the reflection of the mirror. “I just hate this sometimes.”

“Hate what?” I asked gently.

“Being famous. I’m so tired of putting my faith and trust into someone and getting hurt. I’m so sick of people latching onto me and pretending to like me just to get something out of it.”

Tears sprung to Nick’s eyes. Oh no. Don’t do it. Don’t cry. I silently begged. I reached out and placed my hand on top of his.

“I can’t say I understand. I don’t,” I admitted. “But I do know that there are people in this world that care about you very, very much. The people that use you are missing out on getting to know a truly genuine soul,” I added.

Nick flipped his hand over, lacing his fingers through mine.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

The sadness in his eyes disappeared; in its place was longing. I sucked in a breath; my eyes went to his mouth. Lowering his head to mine he leaned in. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek. My palms started sweating. It was really going to happen…

“Hey, Nick. We’re on man,” Howie said, his head poking through the door. He looked from Nick to me. “Ohh, sorry,” he said, coughing in embarrassment. He looked back apologetically. “We’re on,” he repeated.

“Knock ‘em dead,” I said, stepping back with a smile. Nick returned the smile. Squeezing my hand, he headed out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

As soon as the door closed, I crumpled up, leaning on the sink for support. Looking at my reflection in the mirror I could see the red hot flush radiating from my cheeks. Turning on the faucet, I splashed cold water on my face. After several deep breaths and another check of the mirror to make sure I looked normal, I headed back into the green room.

“You okay?” Rochelle asked.

“Hmm? Yeah, I’m fine,” I said waving the question off.

I sat down on the couch beside Leigh. The TV showed the Boys walking out amongst a loud chorus of screaming girls.

“He looks good doesn’t he?” Leigh said dreamily.

I studied Nick. He looked so relaxed; no doubt a result of seventeen years in the business.


“Yes, he does.” I said with a smile.

“I mean Howie,” Leigh said teasingly. I felt the flush creep back into my cheeks.

“Yeah, I know,” I said. “That’s what I meant. Caliente.”

“Sur-rrre.” Leigh said with a chuckle. But, she let is drop.

As the show went to commercial, my phone rang. Wondering who in their right mind would dare to bother me during Regis and Kelly, I glanced at the screen in annoyance.

It was Hunter. Excusing myself, I stood up, returning to the solitude of the bathroom.

“Hello?” I said, closing the door for privacy. I sat down on the toilet lid.

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Who else would it be?” I said teasingly.

“I got your email about coming to see you in Illinois,” he said, ignoring my question.

“Yes?”

“I’ll come.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” he said with a sigh. He sounded like I was forcing him to go get a root canal.

“Are you sure?" I said.

"I'm sure."

"Well, I’ll have your ticket at the will call window. You’ll get the VIP treatment,” I added. I could almost see him roll his eyes.

“Cool," he paused. "Well that’s all I wanted, so…”

“So I’ll see you next week?”

“Yup.”

“Love you,” I said.

“Love you too,” he said. I waited for a click, but it didn’t come.

“Liv?”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you.”

My heart flooded with warmth.

“I miss you too.”

With that he disconnected. Staring at the dark screen, I sighed. My gut clenched with guilt; here was my husband planning to come see me and I almost, almost kissed another man.

I vowed that I wouldn’t give it another chance to happen.

Chapter Fourteen

After Regis and Kelly, everyone piled back into the large black van that had brought us to the studio. Howie leaned over and give the driver an address.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“We need to meet with the people overseeing our outfits for the video,” Howie explained.

“I can’t wait to see Baylee,” Leighanne said, smiling down at her blonde cherub.

“Grrr,” Baylee growled, holding up his “claws.”

The van inched along slowly in the New York traffic. I watched as people darted in front of cars left and right. I was horrified, but both drivers and pedestrians worked together in a language of hand gestures and honks; they took it all in stride.

Only in New York, I thought.

We hit a traffic snag. Even with the air conditioning blaring, the temperature in the van was rising as we crept along. To make matters worse, AJ began a rousing edition of 99 Bottles of Pop on the wall, which Baylee energetically joined. I was just contemplating jumping out of the car, traffic be damned, when Howie spoke up.

“The place is only two blocks away. Let’s just walk,” he said, flinging the door open and jumping out. Like me, I think he had heard about one bottle of pop too many.

After the short walk, we headed into a rather plain cinderblock building. The inside was anything but plain. The place was wall to wall costumes. I couldn’t even tell what color the walls were; clothes hung almost to the ceiling.

A woman with the most amazing shade of violet hair met us at the door.

“We’ve been waiting for you guys,” she said. “Guys, you’re going to go with Denise. Girls, you’re coming with me. I’m Bianca.”

I rummaged through my bag, pulling out my camera. Turning it on, I began to follow the guys.

“What are you doing?” Nick said, stopping outside of the room where the Boys’ costumes hung on a large rack.

“I want to get some film of you guys getting fitted in the costumes,” I explained, waving the camera back and forth across his face.

“You’ve got to go with the girls,” Nick said, turning me around. I looked over my shoulder at him.

“Why?”

“You’ve got to get fitted.”

I switched off the camera, frowning.

What are you talking about?”

“You’ve got to get fitted for your costumes for the video.”

“Whoa,” I held up my hand. “Back up.,” I laughed. “I thought I heard you just say I was wearing a costume.”

“Two costumes. The mummy costume and the gold dress.”

I backed away from him, shaking my head from side to side.

“Oh, no, no, no. That’s not going to happen.”

“What do you mean?” Nick said, closing the gap I had created between us. He gave me large puppy eyes. “Won’t you be my mummy?”

“NO!” I said.

“I told you this was going to happen,” I heard Brian say to the other guys.

“Please?” Nick said. “I already kinda sorta told everyone you’d do it,” he said.

I shook my finger at him.

“Don’t think you’re going to guilt trip me, Carter.”

“C’mon. It’ll be fun. “

“No.” I began to walk off. All of a sudden I felt his arms wrap around my left leg. I looked down to see him on his knees, clinging to me like a two year old.

“Pleeeasseee?”

“Nick, I don’t dance.”

"Look dude, he’s groveling,” AJ said from the doorway. Howie and Brian peered out around him, snickering. Nick glared in their direction, standing up. He tugged me out of view of the room.

“Livvy, it’ll be fun. It was your idea. I want you to fully experience your idea coming to life,” he said gently.

“But, Nick,” I argued. “I don’t dance.”

“Fatima will teach you. You think Leigh knows how to dance? Before she married Howie she sold real estate for a living. C’mon.”

I turned to look in the direction of the girl’s dressing room. I could see Leigh twirling in a corseted red dress. She looked so excited.

“I can’t believe this,” I muttered. I started to walk towards the room.

“Does that mean you’ll do it?” Nick called after me.

“I didn’t say yes, yet!”

“But you will,” Nick said.

Ignoring him, I entered the room. Leigh was still twirling; Rochelle looked stunning in an almost identical representation of the red off the shoulder Phantom dress.

“That’s beautiful,” I said. Rochelle grinned.

“Olivia?” Bianca asked, walking up to me with a bag slung over her arm.

“Yes,” I said reluctantly.

“Here’s your costume,” she said. “Let’s see how it fits.”

Fifteen minutes later I stood in absolute horror. The mummy outfit clung to me like a second skin.

“Oh, it fits perfect,” Bianca gushed, circling around me.

“Perfect? Perfect?” I looked at her like she was out of her mind. “This thing is too tight!”

“It’s supposed to be tight,” Bianca explained. “You’re a mummy. You’re wrapped.”

“You look great,” Leighanne said.

“Easy for you to say! You’re costume is pajamas.” I pointed to Leigh and Rochelle. “And you guys get to wear dresses. How is this fair?”

“Well,” Rochelle said, grabbing the production notes. “It says here that Nick sees your backside as you’re walking away. That’s not that bad. It’s not like you’re going full frontal.”

I rolled my eyes. “Do you see this backside?” I pointed. “You could land a plane on it.”

“Are you kidding me?” Leigh piped up. “You look great. Your ass looks great.”

“How much did Nick pay you?” I said. Leighanne laughed. “You know if you quit worrying, you might just have fun. A smart Kentucky boy told me that a long time ago.”

I knew in the deep recesses of my mind that she was right. I took off the mummy costume, switching it for the gold corset dress. The girls whistled.

“Wait until Nick gets a load of that.” Rochelle said, walking around me.

I stared into the full length mirror and slowly turned. I was in love.

With a dress.

“Well, this kind of makes up for the mummy,” I admitted.

“How are we doing ladies?” Howie said, poking his head in. I recognized the long black vintage shirt that opened to reveal his smooth chest. It was like rewinding time back thirteen years. He wolf whistled. “Love those dresses.” He looked at Leigh. “Can we keep that?” he said suggestively.

“We’ll see,” she answered back with a mischievous smile. Placing her hand gently on his face, she softly pushed him out of the room. “Now scoot.”

At that point, Bianca went around, putting a few pins and tucks in each of our dresses. Finally, she stepped back, clapping her hands.

“You guys made it easy. We’re all done; get dressed. I’ll have them at the location for you the day after tomorrow.”

I bagged up the two costumes, still eyeing the mummy suit with derision. For the next two days it looked like the only food in my future would be lettuce; hold the dressing, please.

We walked out of the dressing room to see the guys already assembled.

“All set?” AJ asked. We nodded.

“How’d your fitting go?” Rochelle asked, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Oh fine,” AJ replied breezily.

“He’s having them add more material to his shirt,” Brian said, grinning. “His six pack has turned into a two
pack.” AJ scowled.

“How’s my mummy?” Nick said, turning his attention, and his grin, on me.

“Shut up,” I said with a laugh. Nick slipped my equipment bag off my shoulder and carried it to the van.

“Why thank you,” I said. “You are such a suck-up.”

“I try.”

“Alright, now we’re off to Ellen,” Howie said, glancing at his watch.

“56 bottles of pop on the wallll,” AJ began to sing.

“No!” Howie said. “No more. We better work on our harmonies on the way there, we’re cutting it close.”

“I love the Ellen show,” I gushed. “Does she have a green room?” I said as I buckled in.

“Yup,” Brian said, his blue eyes sparkling.

“I heard it’s orange.”

Chapter Fifteen

We arrived for Ellen just in time for the boys to head to hair and makeup. With all the makeup they had to put on in any given day, it made me feel like I was putting womankind to shame. I sat in an empty chair and watched a hairdresser fiddle with Nick’s hair.

“Let’s do an interview,” I said, pulling out the camera. “Since I didn’t get one earlier.” I added, hoping he would catch the implication. He did.

Nick grinned. “Hey, what you did was more important.”

I rolled my eyes and flipped the camera on. “Here we are at the Ellen show. The guys are getting their hair done,” I explained panning from Nick to Howie to Brian. AJ sat on a couch, sorting through M&M’s.

“AJ doesn’t need his hair did,” Nick explained. “He’s only got peach fuzz.”

“What are you doing AJ?” I said, zooming in on him.

“I’m sorting out the yellow M&M’s,” AJ explained. He held one up to his blonde hair. “My favorite color.”

“And do yellow M&M’s taste better than the other colors?” I teased. Howie laughed in the background.

“Absolutely,” he said, tossing one up into the air and catching it. I panned the camera to Howie.

“So, Howie, tell the fans what else is going on while we’re in New York,” I said.

“Let’s see, tomorrow we’re performing at the Hammerstein Ballroom and then the day after tomorrow we’ve got something really exciting planned. We’re shooting a video for Masquerade.”

“You heard it here first, folks,” I said. I turned to Brian. He grinned cheekily and made a “come here” motion towards the camera. I zoomed in; he leaned closer to the camera.

“I’ll give you a hint about the video,” he said in a whisper. Then, tossing his head back, he let out an ear-shattering howl.

“Thank you Brian,” I said rubbing my ear. “I think you broke my camera lens.”

“Well if that didn’t, that will,” Nick said. He gestured back towards AJ. I turned the camera back in AJ’s direction only to see half of his ass hanging out of his pants as he crawled underneath the couch.

“Crack kills!” Nick yelled. AJ wiggled out from under the couch holding a yellow M&M. It took him a second to register what happened, but it clicked when he saw my face and the camera pointed at him. Smiling innocently, he stood up and mooned me.

“Oh, sweet Jesus,” I yelped.

Brian, done with hair, jumped in front of him, arms held wide.

“CENSORED!”

“And, I think that’s a wrap,” I said, shaking my head. I flipped off the camera.

“Did you get what you needed?” AJ asked laughing.

“I can’t use that!” I said.

“Why not?” AJ said. “Didn’t you ever see the video where we were hitting each other with the tree branch? Nick karate chopped Brian with it and half his ass fell out of his pants.”

Nick laughed. “That was fun. Brian had that welt for like three days.” Brian rubbed his arm and winced in remembrance.

A stagehand (who I could have sworn was a clone of the one from Regis and Kelly) walked in. “You guys are on in ten minutes.” he said, hugging a clipboard to his chest. The place erupted in pandemonium.

Nick still wasn’t done with his hair, it took another four minutes. Then, five minutes before the Boys needed to head down on the elevator, Brian decided to give James a few good-hearted tosses in the air. James returned the favor by tossing the entire contents of his lunch down Brian’s shirt.

“You guys go on ahead,” I said to Nick, Howie, and AJ. “I’ll stay and help Leigh and Leighanne, then I’ll head down with Bri.”

I really wanted to meet Ellen.

The guys nodded and headed down on the elevator. Leigh hurried off with James. Working as quickly as possible, Leighanne dabbed any remnant of baby puke off of Brian’s arms. I grabbed a clean shirt, handing it over to him. Quickly he tugged it on. Then, Leighanne took out a bottle of cologne, spritzing liberally.

“Ugh, that’s enough,” Brian said, waving his hand over his nose. I had to agree. He smelled like a prostitute. I glanced at my watch. We had two minutes.

“Ready?” I asked, tapping my watch face.

“Ready.”

After giving Leighanne and Baylee a quick kiss, Brian followed me to the elevator. We stepped on and I punched the down button. The elevator seemed to descend at a crawl.

“This reminds me of the Wonka-vator,” Brian remarked. “It’s not glass, but it’s so small.”

“I know,” I said, even thought I didn’t want to think about it. I’m not claustrophobic, but I wouldn’t be sad when the ride was over. “I don’t think anyone’s going to be piling their entourage in here anytime soon.” I added, watching the floors descend. It seemed like the elevator was slowing down until, with a sickening lurch, the elevator stopped altogether. The doors didn’t open.

“Uh-oh,” I said. I looked up at the floor numbers. We were stuck between floors.

“What? Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.” Brian said. He punched at the buttons, but nothing happened. Glancing at his watch, he reached over and picked up the emergency telephone.

“Yes, this is Brian Littrell. I’m supposed to be on the Ellen set in, oh, a minute and I’m stuck in the elevator.” he paused. “No seriously, it’s stuck.”

“Right. Okay.” He hung up.

“Well?”

“They said they’re sending someone immediately,” Brian said. He sat down on the floor of the elevator. I did the same. We looked at each other.

We sat in silence as the minutes crept by by. All I could hear was the ticking of our watches. Brian leaned his head against the wall. I sat yoga style, willing the elevator doors to open. But they didn’t.

And we waited.

---------------------------------

After an hour, I was rethinking my claustrophobic statement. Even though it was just Brian and me, the walls seemed to be closing in. I dabbed at my neck; it was damp with sweat.

“You okay?” Brian said. He had given up worrying about making the interview; now we just kept hoping to hear the elevator come back to life.

“I’m fine,” I said. “It’s just warm in here.” Brian’s cheeks were flushed.

“Yes, it is.” He looked at me apologetically. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me.”

I smiled. “Hey, I don’t mind being stuck with you.”

“I can think of someone else that probably would have been more than glad to take my place,” he suggested. I felt the heat rise even more.

“You must think I’m a horrible person,” I said. Brian raised his eyebrows.

“Why?”

“I’m married,” I reminded him. “Not that I’ve done anything wrong, but Nick’s kind of hard to…” I trailed off.

“Resist?” Brian said helpfully. I nodded.

“Are you happy?”

“What do you mean?”

“Does your husband make you happy?”

"I…I…well…it’s complicated,” I said.

“Life’s complicated,” Brian said. “Let me tell you a story. Thirteen years ago I fell in love,” his voice grew tender. “At first sight. She was engaged, but something happened between us; it just felt right and we didn’t question it. We leapt blindly and we were rewarded with happiness.” Brian grinned. “And even now I wake up every morning and it’s love at first sight all over again.”

I felt tears spring to my eyes. My heart melted.

“Everyone deserves that,” Brian continued. “And sometimes love finds you when you’re not looking for it. I’m not going to say that marriage isn’t sacred, but marriage is also a partnership. If one person constantly puts their needs first, the only connection is a shared name and rings.”

“So you’re saying…” I trailed off.

“I’m not saying anything,” Brian grinned. “I’m just channeling my inner Dr. Phil. But I will say that I’ve never seen Nick like this. Ever.”

As I sat pondering that, the elevator roared to life. The sound greeted our ears like sweet music. Cheering, we jumped up and hugged each other tightly. Pulling away slowly, I smiled at him.

“Thank you Bri,” I said. “This was almost worth it.”

“Almost worth it?”

“Yeah. You still kinda smell like a room spray.” I said, wrinkling my nose and fanning the air.

The first thing anyone saw when the elevator doors slid open was Brian smelling his armpits. I ran as fast as I could, right into Nick’s open arms. He hugged me tightly, wrinkling his nose.

“You smell like a prostitute,” he complained.

I didn’t care. We were free. The guys had winged the interview and performance and, most importantly, I still got to meet Ellen.

Chapter Sixteen


“I hate to do this to you guys,” Howie apologized. “But if we’re going to be ready, we’ve got to practice tonight.”

My eyes felt like concrete. We had just eaten dinner and I was full on baked chicken and rice. I had convinced myself that after the trauma of the elevator incident that I had surely burned off enough calories to enjoy more than just lettuce. But now Howie was telling us that we had to meet Fatima at the video location to start going over choreography and I was reminded of how tight the mummy costume was. I groaned.

We walked from the restaurant back to our hotel. We were staying at a hotel halfway between the video shoot location and the Hammerstein Ballroom. I ran up to my room and packed a tank top and a pair of sweats. Nick was waiting outside my room as I opened the door.

“Red Bull?” he said, holding out an ice cold can. “It gives you wings,” he smiled.

“I don’t need wings,” I said, taking a sip. “I just need coordination.”

“You’ll be fine.”

A half hour later we walked into a large warehouse. I looked around astonished. People were everywhere. The set was coming alive before our eyes.

“You’re late,” Kevin said.

“Just like old times,” AJ said, hugging him and Kristin.

“I should make you guys do laps,” Fatima said. “But considering we’re probably going to be here ‘til about one or two in the morning as is, let’s just get to work.”

Now, I must admit that while I don’t and can’t dance, I have always had this silly dream of one day doing Dancing with the Stars. I mean, if Kate Gosselin can do it, why couldn’t I? After an hour of turning right when we were supposed to turn left and clapping when we were supposed to be bowing, I knew why I couldn’t. I was inept. Sweat dripped off my nose. I felt like I was being repeatedly punched in the stomach. The Wii Fit couldn’t help me now. I was doomed.

Everyone else seemed to be catching on. After I screwed up for the hundredth time, Fatima called for a break. Everyone wandered off except for Nick and Fatima. She walked up, touching my shoulder.

“You’re over thinking it,” she said. “You can do it. I see it up here,” she tapped her head. “I just need you to send it down there.” she pointed to my feet.

“I can’t.” I said, shaking my head.

“You can,” Nick said. He walked behind me. I felt his hands grip my waist.

“Start the music, ‘Tima.” Nick said. She walked over to the CD player, starting the track again.

“What are you doing?” I said, craning my head to look at him.

“You’ll see,” he said cryptically.

The music started and I took a deep breath. His touch was unnerving. Just like when we danced at the club, his touch seemed to jumble my thoughts so much that I couldn’t over think. After a few hesitant steps, I actually kept up. I felt Nick lean over me as I leaned down, step back when I stepped back. We were completely in sync.

“Good! Good!” Fatima called out, clapping her hands to the beat. “And one, and two.” She counted off until we ran through the entire part. “Try it again,” she said. She stopped the song and restarted it from the beginning. I felt Nick’s hands drop from my waist; he stepped in front of me, taking his correct place. His magic had done the trick; I completed the steps again, keeping perfect time with him. Fatima stopped the CD player grinning.

“Congratulations, kids. Twenty five seconds down. Two and a half minutes left to go.”

I groaned.

-----------------------------------------------

If I thought the line work was hard, what was to come was even worse. Fatima had Kevin and Kristin come out to demonstrate the waltz sequence. They looked like Ken and Barbie waltzing along the floor. At “so stay with me tonight,” Kevin lifted Kristin up in the air like she was a feather. On the track, Brian took a breath and continued holding “ight.” At that point, Kevin slid Kristin down his body sensuously. She bent backwards like she was made of rubber, her arms sweeping behind her, almost touching the floor. Fatima clapped.

“Perfect! Alright ladies and gents,” she said. “Let’s give it a try, shall we?”

“Nick, I can’t do this,” I said as he took my hands. He shook his head.

“You need to be more like The Little Engine that Could,” Nick said. “No more can’t. Just keep saying I think I can, I think I can. You’ll be fine.” He grinned. “Plus you can’t abandon me now. This is my second favorite part.”

“What’s your favorite?” I asked.

I didn’t get a chance to find out. Fatima started the music and we were off.

It was stupid, but as an (ex) children’s librarian, I couldn’t help but think of The Little Engine that Could by Watty Piper. I could see every picture as if I was sitting there reading it for storytime. After the third restart, I realized with surprise that I actually had the waltzing down.

“Now we’ll add the lift,” Fatima said, starting the music again.

We started the waltz again. Nick looked down at me, his eyes twinkling. I was sure he could see how nervous I was. Before I knew it, I heard “so stay with me tonight.” Nick’s hands tightened on my waist and lifted me like I weight nothing. All of a sudden I was staring down directly into his eyes, my feet in mid-air, smiling. I focused directly on Nick as we spun in a circle. I vaguely heard Brian’s voice fade on the track and then come back. On cue Nick lowered me. I slid along every muscular inch of him; my mouth turned as dry as cotton. Somewhere in the recess of my brain I remembered the dip. I swung my arms out in what I thought was an imitation of Kristin. Nick held onto my waist. I promptly put all my weight in it.

The next thing I knew I was on the floor; Nick on top of me.

Three hours later I dragged my tired body into my room. For once Andrea’s endless energy had been depleted; she gave a heavy sigh as we lumbered to our beds.

“I have never been more tired in my life,” she whined.

“I glanced towards the clock.” It was three in the morning.

“Well, it’s going to get worse. We’ve got to be back there by ten,” I said. I fell on the bed still dressed. I knew I should take a shower, but I was too tired to care about my funk.

We hadn’t even gotten past the waltz, lift and dip. We still had a lot of song left to cover. I knew I was going to be sore in the morning and it was only going to get worse. Because of my bright ideas, I’d be jumping off a platform in about, oh, eight hours.

----------------------------------------

By noon the next day I felt like Rocky. In two hours I had climbed the damn stairs so many times that I wanted to scream. Finally, Fatima was satisfied.

“Now for the jump!” she said.

I stood on the platform, staring down, down, down. I was on the coaster, buckled in, and there was no way I could turn back. If I was sweating before, it was nothing compared to now.

“You’ll be attached to wires,” Fatima explained. “That way if your guy misses the mark, you’ll end up floating to the floor.”

I touched the wires, thinking that there was no way in hell they were going to bare enough of my weight to float me safely to the floor. I swallowed hard.

“You okay up there?” Nick called. I gave him a weak thumbs up.

“Alright, count of three.”

We put on our masks and waited for the music to start.

On cue, show your face to me, we flung them off. I watched the other three girls make the jump, landing in the guys’ arms. My feet wouldn’t move. I heard a groan from the general direction of Fatima.

“I’m sorry!” I called out. I blew a loose strand of hair away from my eyes.

“Let’s try that again,” Fatima said. The girls made their way back up the stairs.

“Hey,” Rochelle said grabbing my arm. “It’s fun. It’s like sky-diving,” she said grinning. I felt myself go pale.

“Oh, shit. That’s not helpful is it?” she said, biting her lower lip. “Okay. It’s like jumping off a diving board. Just pretend you’re going to land in water. It’s safe.”

“You can drown in water,” I reminded her.

"The only thing you’ll be drowning in is Nick’s drool,” she said, pointing below. Nick gave a wave. I sighed, feeling like a baby.

“Okay. Let’s go.” I said, mustering up a teeny tiny ounce of courage.

“Ready?” Fatima called. We nodded.

The music started again. On cue I tossed my mask. I didn’t hesitate; if I did I wouldn’t have gotten a toe over the platform. I jumped, remembering to keep my eyes open. Amazingly I felt the wires tighten, slowing the fall. My body was in a pure state of calm as I felt Nick’s hands wrap around my waist and set me gently on the ground.

“Great, great!” Fatima called. “Let’s get the wires off and do the final waltz.”

Nick unclipped the wires, grinning.

“What?” I said.

“What do you mean what?”

“Why are you grinning?”

“No reason,” he said, grinning wider.

We stayed in place as Fatima started the music. We picked up right after the jump and catch. Confident in the waltz, lift, and dip, my feet almost floated across the floor.

I felt a surge of pride as the song approached the end. I smiled at Nick. Nick gave me the same wide grin from earlier. “Here comes my favorite part,” he said as the last long note floated through the air.

“What?” I said. I studied his face but he didn’t respond; I saw his beautiful ocean eyes grow darker, the sparkle taking on new meaning.

Lowering his head, his lips pressed hungrily to mine. At that moment everything around me ceased to exist; I slid my arms around his neck, clinging on for dear life.

If this was what it felt like to drown, I would gladly take the plunge a million times.

Chapter Seventeen

As with all good things, the kiss had to come to an end. As we pulled gently away, my hearing returned. I heard the clapping and wolf whistles; I felt my face grow red. Blushing wasn’t something I often did, but it seemed like it was becoming a common occurrence around these guys.

“Should we do it again?” Nick said, smiling at Fatima. “I think I missed a step.”

“Bullshit,” Fatima said, laughing. “No I think we’ll call it quits. Once Joseph get’s here tomorrow you’ll be doing each step about ten thousand times.”

I blinked in surprise. My lips were still tingling.

“Joseph?” I said.

“Kahn,” Howie said.

“He directed Everybody,” I said. It was such a “duh” statement; I wondered if I had lost a few brain cells from the extended lack of oxygen.

“Yes, he did,” Howie said with a laugh. “I emailed him the concept and he got a little sentimental.”

“He also said our last few videos have been crap,” AJ said with a smile.

“I blame Jive for that,” Leighanne said. “You can’t do anything without money.”

“Well, we had to front the money for Everybody and it worked well for us.” Howie reminded them. “Maybe lightning will strike twice.”

Everyone crossed their fingers.

We better hit the showers,” AJ said, looking at his watch. “We’ve got sound check soon.”

“Alright Howard,” Brian said.

“What? Howie can’t always be the mother.” AJ said.

“I’m not the mother!” Howie complained.

The guys walked away discussing the patriarchy of the “Backstreet Boys” family; Nick stayed behind.

“So,” he said softly, running his thumb along my face.

“So,” I repeated just as quietly. His lips met mine again. I slid my hands to his face, kissing back hungrily. I heard a moan escape from the back of his throat before he pulled away.

“I hope the water’s cold,” he said with a grin as he squeezed my hand. He began to walk backwards towards the guy’s shower area. He blew a kiss in my direction, then turned and disappeared around the corner.

“Good Lord,” I said once he was out of sight. Fanning myself I headed to the girl’s showers, hoping for some cool water to extinguish some of the fire erupting in my extremities.

But the fire was just getting started.

----------------------------------------------

We arrived at sound check with an hour to spare.

“Karoke?” Brian said, grabbing a microphone.

“I was thinking a nap,” Howie said.

“A nap sounds good,” AJ said, grinning at Rochelle. “Want to go tuck me in?”

“Anytime,” she responded.

“Aww, c’mon,” Brian said. He tapped a mic; it sparked to life.

“I’m game,” Nick said.

“Sweet.” Brian ran off to the sound mix with his IPod, then jumped back on the stage, giving the thumbs up.

“Alright ya’all,” he said in a slow drawl. “Let’s get this party started.”

“Oh no,” Nick said. “He’s got the twang. That can only mean one thing…”

Just then a loud country intro started blaring through the ballroom. Brian tipped an imaginary cowboy hat in Leighanne’s direction. I recognized the song.

“Oh!” I said laughing. “It’s Rascal Flatts. Me and My Gang.”

Nick looked at me. “Oh no, you like country music too? Geesh, I didn’t know I kissed a hillbilly,” he teased.
“Shut up Nick! I saw you’re following Rascal Flatts on Twitter!” Brian called. He began singing as if his life depended on it. I turned the camera on quickly, pointing it towards the stage.

Way on down to Southern Alabama with the gee-tars jammin’ that’s where we’re headed / Straight up to Butte, Montana singing ‘Lord I was born a ramblin’ man’ / California to Oregon / Even New York City got one or two hillbillies ready to hit the road / It’s a brother and a sister kind of thing / raise up your hands if you want to hang with / Me and My Gang…

At the chorus, Nick jumped on stage. Grabbing their belts they both began a horrible ho-down. Leighanne lifted Baylee on the stage to join them.

By the end of the song I was laughing so hard I was crying.

“I’m never going to be able to hear that song again without thinking of you three Stooges,” I complained as they took a bow.

“Good, I like being in your mind,” Nick said. He tossed Brian’s mic in my direction.

“What’s this?” I said, catching it.

“Up here,” he said, pointing at the spot next to him. Brian took the camera from me.

“It’s in good hands,” he said. I gave him a look.

“What? Don’t trust me?” Brian teased.

“It’s Nick I don’t trust,” I responded as I climbed up the stage.

“Beautiful Lie?” I asked.

“For my country girl? Nope.” he said. He motioned towards the sound mix booth.

The first few bars of Lady Antebellum’s I Run to You drifted around the room.

“You know this?” I said, looking at him.

“I do. I’ve had to borrow Brian’s IPod a time or two,” he said. “It’s catchy.”

“He’s a closet hillbilly,” Brian added. Nick made a gesture, then began singing.

“I run from hate / I run from prejudice I run from
pessimists / But I run too late” Nick sang. Good gravy, I could listen to him sing all day. He pointed to me. I rolled my eyes, but sang.

“I run my life / Or is it running me? Run from my past / I run too fast, or too slow it seems” Taking a deep breath, I hoped I could stay remotely in harmony with Nick on the chorus.

“When lies become the truth / That’s when I run to you / This world keeps spinning faster / to a new disaster / so I run to you / I run to you baby / When it all starts coming undone / Baby you’re the only one I run to / I run to you.”

“Encore, encore!” Brian shouted when we finished.

“Why doesn’t Leighanne sing?” I said. I tried to give her the mic; she backed away shaking her head.

“Leighanne doesn’t sing,” Brian explained.

“Neither do I!” I laughed.

“Yeah, but you’re easier to guilt,” Nick said. He took both mics, putting them back on their stands.

Fifteen minutes later AJ and Howie came back on stage. I could tell AJ didn’t take a nap; I suspected he went to bed but he certainly didn’t sleep.

For the rest of the evening it was back to business. I had just taken a gorgeous close-up of Howie giving a rose to a little girl when my phone vibrated in my pocket. Sighing, I stepped backstage, the sound becoming more and more muffled as I walked down the hall.

“Hello?” I said. I switched to playback on the camera to take a look at what I had already shot.

“Liv? Oh my gawd, it’s Jess!”

My ever bubbly best friend brought a smile to my face.

“Hey Jess. What’s up?”

“I should ask you that,” she said teasingly.

“What do you mean?”

“What’s going on with you and Nick?”

I almost choked. How could she possibly know?

“What do you mean?” I repeated.

“I just checked Twitter,” Jess explained. “Nick just tweeted a picture of you. I’m so jealous!”

“What? Hold on.”

I quickly put her on hold; bringing up Twitter. I groaned.

He had tweeted, best day ever. I clicked on the twitpic. Someone had taken a picture of the waltz lift. Reluctantly I reconnected back to Jess.

“Did you see?” she said. “Is that the Masquerade video? Are you in it? Wait until Hunter sees!”

“Whoa,” I said a little harsher than I intended. “We have to talk about that. You got me in big trouble by posting that fanclub video on Facebook. Hunter went through the roof.”

“He did? I’m soo sorry,” Jess said. . “I won’t say anything,” she added. “Of course anyone can see Nick’s twitter,” she warned. “But I have to know, what’s the picture all about?”

“I’m going to be Nick’s partner for the video. They’re using most of their backup dancers from the tour and Kevin and his wife Kristin are here for a surprise cameo as part of the backup ensemble,” I explained.

“You are so lucky. Ugh, that picture look s like Nick’s about ready to kiss you.” I didn’t tell her how right she was. “Hey, I got your message about a free ticket to the Illinois concert. I know this is short notice, but I’d love to see you. And them.”

I laughed. “It will be waiting at will call.” I said.

“I love you forever!”

“Yeah, right. Listen, I’ve got to go. We’re in the middle of a concert but I’ll see you in a few days, okay?”

“Yup, have fun!”

I disconnected and went back out in the crowd for the rest of the concert. After two encores, we returned to the hotel. It had been another long day.

“We’ve got to be in costuming and makeup at 4 o’clock in the morning,” Howie said. “We need to meet here in the hotel lobby no later than 3:30.”

Everyone groaned.

“Have a wonderful sleep. I will see you guys in,” Howie checked his watch. “Four hours.”

Nick walked me to my room.

“Good night,” I said, swiping the keycard to unlock the door.

“I’ll see you in a few hours,” Nick said.

“I’m going to need a lot of makeup tomorrow to cover these bags under my eyes,” I warned. He laughed quietly.

“You’re beautiful no matter what,” he said. My heart stopped. I couldn’t remember when Hunter had ever told me I was beautiful.

“Nick, I don’t know how this is going to work,” I said. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.” His smile wavered slightly.

“Hey,” he said lightly. “Let’s not worry about that right now.” He stepped closer. “Right now, all I care about is you and me, alone outside your room, saying goodnight.”

I let out a soft little “ohh,” before his lips touched mine. He pressed me tightly against his body. His lips radiated a sense of urgency. Heart pounding, I explored his mouth with my tongue. His hand snaked up the back of my shirt. My fingers ran into his hair, down his neck, and back up again.

“Come back to my room,” he said, nibbling my bottom lip. My eyes closed, my nails dug gently into his scalp. Every nerve ending in my body was on fire.

“I can’t,” I whispered. “I want to, but I just…I just can’t go that far. Not right now.”

Nick rubbed a hand over his face, then looked back at me.

“I understand,” he whispered. “But I had to try,” he added. We shared another kiss.

“Good night, Nick,” I said slipping into my room.

“Good night,” he said.

The last thing I saw before closing the door was his blue bedroom eyes; a reminder of what I turned down.

Chapter Eighteen

It had been a long time since I was awake at four in the morning. As the type of person who enjoys my sleep, functioning on a combined total of about six hours sleep in the last two days was grating on me. Needless to say, I was not in a good mood. Seeing myself in the skin tight mummy outfit only made it worse. I sat in a makeup chair feeling like I was wearing Saran wrap.

“Your makeup’s going to take awhile,” the girl said apologetically, noting the scowl on my face. “And you can’t drink afterward. Need some water?”

I nodded, taking a clear plastic cup. I downed it, thinking I needed something a lot stronger than water to get me through the day.

When we had walked in that morning, the sets were ready and waiting for us. I walked with Nick through the Egyptian set, shivering a little bit at the realistic cobwebs. The main floor was ready and waiting; the hypnotic purple and white swirl lay proudly on the floor. It seemed to be screaming, “hey, remember me? Let’s go!”

I stared straight ahead as the makeup artist started to cake me with layer after layer of makeup. The hair stylist was working simultaneously, precisely placing the mummy wrapping around my head. My hair was pulled back in a ponytail.

I remember watching the Behind the Scenes video for Everybody and thinking that the transformation of the guys was the coolest thing ever. The entire makeup sequence took about five minutes. In real life, the makeup took hours. My ass was asleep and I was sure that I was sweating off the makeup as fast as they put it on. Finally, they stepped away.

“You’re ready to go,” they said proudly. The makeup artist held up a mirror.

I gasped. I looked completely different.

Not in a hot way, just more like a dead for thousands of years way.

I slid out of my seat and looked around.

“There’s my mummy.”

I turned around to see Nick. I had to smile. He actually made a better mummy now than twelve years ago. His baby face was gone and so was his gawky teen body; his chiseled face and the tightness of the outfit made me want to kneel before him.

“Hey, you look good.”

“So do you,” he said, his eyes fixed straight on my chest.

“It doesn’t leave much to the imagination,” I said awkwardly.

“You don’t know my imagination,” Nick said, laughing. He took my hand. “C’mon.”

I followed him to the individual sets.

“I don’t think they’re ready for us yet. Joseph’s shooting Howie’s scene,” he said.

We stood to the side and watched. Howie looked amazing in the Dracula costume. The hair dresser had given him extensions; he looked perfect. He saw us watching and gave a wave.

“I’ve walked down the hall 310 times,” Howie said. He looked slightly frustrated.

“And we’re going to do it one more time,” Joseph said. “Action!”

We watched Howie strut down the hall, twirling his cane. He turned and gave Joseph a look, Joseph gave him the thumbs up.

“That’s a wrap!”

“Did you already shoot Leigh and James?” I asked. Howie nodded, smiling. He opened up the door to the “tomb.” Leigh walked out holding James. He was the pudgiest sweetest little vampire I had ever seen.

“Oh my god,” I said. “He’s adorable.”

“He started crying when he saw me,” Howie explained. “After about, oh, 200 takes, he finally came to terms that he was stuck with me coming into the room every few seconds.”

Leigh laughed. James clung to her, his little hang grabbing onto the top of her dress.

“You look great, Leigh,” I said.

“You do too,” she said. “Doesn’t she Nick?”

Nick didn’t respond right away. I looked at him. His eyes were directly on my ass. I twirled around, destroying his view.

“What?” he looked up. Sorry?” he said. “Did someone say something?”

“Nick, I think we’ll take you now,” Joseph said. “We’ve got Howie’s and AJ’s scene done. Brian and Baylee are still in makeup.”

I felt a pang of sympathy. I couldn’t believe Baylee had to sit still that long; I could barely do it. And he was only seven years old.

We followed Joseph to the tomb.

“Welcome to my crib, MTV,” Nick said, throwing his arms wide. “Let’s see what we have in the fridge.” He opened his coffin. “Hmm, looks like I need to go shopping, only cobwebs in here.”

“You haven’t changed a bit, Nick,” Joseph said. He spent a few minutes putting us into position and walking us through the shot with the cameras off. When he was satisfied, he settled down behind the camera

“Alright, one, two, three.”

I heard the audio track let out a creak and saw Nick’s face come out of the tomb. Joseph pulled the camera away and I knew I was in frame. I quickly walked out.

“Cut!” he said. He looked at me. “Walk out slower; I want to see you ooze sexuality, be enticing.”

“Are you kidding me? I have sheets of toilet paper sticking to my ass and I’m supposed to look sexy?”

Joseph smiled at Nick. “I like her.”

Nick smiled back. “Me too.”

I sighed in frustrated and we set up for another take.

Howie wasn’t exaggerating the number of takes. I counted up to one hundred ninety-five. By this point I was tired enough to walk slowly, even though I’m not too sure about the sensual part. I had also begun to ad lib. It got boring doing the same thing every time. On the next take, I heard the creak and turned and smiled, making a “c’mere” motion with my bandaged finger. I slowly slid out of frame. Nick did a “score!” expression to the camera before following.

“Cut! That was great,” Joseph said. “I think we’re done here.”

“Yes,” I said, fist pumping the air. Nick came up and picked me up from behind, swinging me around. “You were great.”

“Put me down!” I said laughing. Obeying he set me down, but not before I felt his fingertips brush the underside of my breast. I sucked in a breath. His lips brushed my neck.

“I can’t wait to see costume number two,” he said, his breath tickling the sensitive skin.

By the time I turned to look at him, he was already gone.

------------------------------------------

For as long as the makeup took to put on, it was scrubbed away in minutes. I got into the beautiful gold corset dress and settled in for hair and makeup. Maybe it was because I had dreaded the mummy costume so much, but this time around the wait didn’t seem as excruciating. It was close to one o’clock in the afternoon and my morning grumpiness was fading away.

“I love your hair,” the hairdresser commented. She had my thick, wavy brown hair in both of her hands, examining it.

“Thank you,” I said. “It weighs a ton.”

“Well,” she paused. “I think we’re going to accentuate the waves and push just the sides away from your face. When you’re jumping I think it would be so pretty to have your hair fanning out in slow motion,” she explained.

“You’re the expert,” I said, trying not to move my lips. The makeup artist was liberally applying a clear gloss.

Forty-five minutes later I was up and out of the chair. By this time all of the girls were getting finishing touches.

“Baylee looked adorable,” Leighanne said as we sat sharing our experiences. “And he let the hairdresser trim his hair. Once she did that he looked so much like Brian it took my breath away.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” I said.

“Are you ready girls?” Joseph said, poking his head in. We nodded.

We headed out to the main set. The guys were waiting, talking with the backup dancers. Brian turned first; when he saw us he let out a howl.

“You girls look great,” he said. Leighanne ran her hands along his pimp coat. Her blue dress looked lovely in contrast to the plush white coat.

“I could definitely sink my teeth into you,” Howie said, pulling Leigh close. Her red dress next to his black cape was a perfect fit.

AJ didn’t say anything. Instead, he scooped Rochelle up, giving her a long, slow kiss.

I turned to look at Nick.

“You look amazing,” he said. “I…wow.”

I tugged on one of his bandages. “Thank you, mummy,” I said.

Our admiration fest was cut short as Joseph walked on set. Fatima trailed behind him.

“Alright, let’s see how fast we can get through this so we can get the guys out of these costumes. If we make good time we can break for dinner, the guys can get into hair, makeup, and costume, and we’ll be finished by midnight.”

The hint of food at the end of the rainbow upped the ante. For two hours we danced, waltzed, lifted, and dipped over and over again. I had wondered how Nick was going to be able to dance in the mummy costume, but he danced like he wore it every day.

Finally Joseph was satisfied. The boys went to get changed and then joined us for dinner. I had almost forgotten how good the Boys’ looked in the peasantry outfits. Nick wore black pants, a white blousy shirt and a gold vest that perfectly matched my dress. He emerged from the dressing room with a rose.

“A rose for a rose,” Nick said, tucking it behind my ear.

“You shouldn’t have,” I said, touching the velvety petals. He kissed me, handing me a dinner plate at the same time.

“I like dessert first,” he teased. I smiled.

We ate ravenously. After a quick trip back to hair and makeup, we donned our masks and tackled the stairs.

I was grateful that we had practiced the jump the day before; after making sure that the wires were once again securely attached, I felt confident taking the plunge. Take after take piled up and hour after hour rolled by. It seemed forever before our harnesses were off and we were once again waltzing. I was beginning to think that we’d never be done; we’d spend the rest of our days twirling and whirling round and round until our feet cracked and fell off when Joseph finally stood up.

“Okay,” Joseph said. “Backup dancers you’re free. Thank you.”

Kevin and Kristin stopped to give everyone hugs.

“We’ve got to take off,” Kevin said apologetically.

“We’ve never been away from Mason this long,” Kristin explained.

Everyone wished them a safe trip and they were off. Joseph turned to our small group of eight.

“Okay, last but not least, I need a close up of the kiss. I got the wide angle kiss shot; now we need to get the saliva flowing.”

Nick rubbed his hands together.

Joseph started with Brian, making his way down the line. Nick and I were last.

“Wanna practice?” Nick said.

“Oh, you need practice?” I said sweetly. “I don’t.” He made a face.

The one thing I noticed while watching the others was that it was a lot harder to make a kiss look natural when you had to do it on cue. I watched as Joseph took take after take of Brian and Leighanne and AJ and Rochelle. As he was working with Howie and Leigh, Nick’s idea of practice began to sound better and better. I turned to him, placing my hands on his gold vest.

“Did I tell you how much I like that corset?” Nick said, his taller vantage point giving him a perfect view straight down into my cleavage.

“How much?” I whispered. Before he could respond, I brought my mouth to his.

I lost track of the progress with Howie and Leigh. My fingers trailed from his vest to the fluttering opening of the white blousy shirt. It was damp from perspiration. Nick pulled me closer and I shivered in delight as his tongue probed my mouth. Hot torrents of desire flowed through my body.

I don’t think we would have stopped if it wasn’t for Howie pulling Nick’s shoulder back slightly. Nick broke the kiss, turning to look at him.

“Hey, he got it on the first take,” Howie said, snickering.

“Huh? Oh good,” Nick said. He turned right back to me, his lips practically magnetized to my own. In minutes we were the only ones left on the set, a handsome prince and his lady in waiting.

That night my lips were never lonely. As the busses made their way from New York to New Jersey, Nick and I made our way from the couch on his bus to his bed, our lips barely separating. Nick never pushed for anything more; our talk the night before must have been on his mind. I was grateful for his thoughtfulness, but the truth was I knew I’d wake in the morning still wanting more.

Chapter Nineteen - New Jersey

The sun was high in the sky before my eyes fluttered open. For a moment I forgot where I was; all I knew was the bed felt wonderful. I stretched, turning my head to rest my cheek on the pillow.

Nick was awake, just watching me. Thoughts of the night before rushed back to me; I felt a lump of guilt rest in my stomach even as my lips yearned for more. I had never been so confused in my life.

“Good mo—“ he turned and checked the clock. “almost afternoon,” he laughed.

“We slept that long?” I said, rubbing my eyes.

“You did,” Nick said. I blushed.

“But, you sleep like an angel,” he said. “And you look like one too.”

“How long have you been up?” I said.

“Oh, an hour or so.”

I looked at him closer. He was already showered and dressed. I began to scowl, but stopped. My lips felt swollen; I touched them gently. Nick kissed my fingers.

“Does it look like my lips have been Botoxed?” I asked. Nick laughed.

“It’s not that bad,” he said. “But I have to admit we did a pretty good job on them.”

I swung my feet over the side of the bed and stood up. Nick pointed to a door beside the bed.

“Bathroom’s back there,” he said. “I’ll wait for you.”

I padded back into his bathroom. Splashing water on my face, I sighed and looked in the mirror. I screamed.

The hair spray residue that I wasn’t able to wash out the night before had dried again. Between the horror of my hair and my swollen lips I felt like Medusa. And yet Nick thought I looked like an angel.

He was delusional.

“You okay?” he said. “Did you get something stuck?”

“I’m fine!” I called out. “Very funny!”

I took a long shower; the water was actually hot on Nick’s bus. Wrapping myself in a huge fluffy white towel (that smelled amazingly like Nick), I set to work on massaging detangler through my hair. After another ten minutes I was looking almost human. The door opened and Nick peeked in.

“That’s a great look on you,” he said, stepping in. He had my bags in his hands. “Andrea took your bags last night; I just went over and got them.”

He set them on the floor and stepped up behind me. I felt his fingers fall into my hair, playing with the wet strands. My eyes fluttered closed. His lips fell to my bare shoulder, nipping the skin. My toes curled. I held onto the front of my towel. Nick’s hand fell over mine, prying my fingers gently away.

“Nick,” I whispered. My chest rose and fell heavily.

“I want you so much,” he whispered back. My head fell back against him as the towel slid down slightly. His fingertips played across the tops of my breasts. I felt my nipples harden. He turned me around to face him, his hands dropping to my waist. He hoisted me up on the sink, trailing kisses from my forehead, to my lips, my neck, and downward. I wrapped my legs around his waist; as he pressed even closer, I felt him harden. My hands trailed down his chest towards his member, but he stepped back, shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts.

“You’re killing me, Livvy,” he groaned. My body was coiled like a spring, waiting for more. Tears sprang to my eyes.

“Nick,” I begged, my whole body electrified.

“You don’t know how bad I want this right now,” he said his voice husky. “But, I’m not going to make you that type of woman.” I understood the implication. Nick turned from me, facing the shower. His shoulders rose and fell heavily.

“He’s coming to the concert tomorrow,” I said. “I’ve done a lot of thinking; I know what I have to do. This trip has opened my eyes. I haven’t been happy in such a long time.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek. “Hunter didn’t even call me beautiful on my wedding day. Nick, I’m not going to chain you down, but you help me feel alive. I’m a married woman, but I’m only twenty-six years old. I…I know now that I made a mistake. I don’t want to waste the rest of my life sitting on a couch and wondering what could have been.”

Nick turned back to look at me. Seeing my trail of tears, he came to me, brushing them gently away from my cheek.

“I’ll let you get dressed,” he said softly, kissing the remainder of the tear tracks on my face. He closed the door behind him. I closed my eyes, holding my hands to my bare chest. I prayed that I’d have the strength to get through the next few days.

For the rest of the day, Nick and I were nothing but professional. It should have been easier that way, but it was pure torture. To escape, I went to lunch with Andrea and then did a quick interview with the guys before sound check.

“You okay?” Leighanne asked as the guys changed for the concert.

“I’m fine,” I said softly. She gave me a hug.

“You’ll be okay,” she said. “When Brian and I met, I was engaged. The hardest thing I did was tell Joe that I couldn’t marry him, that I was in love with someone else. But I did it because I knew that I’d spend my whole life regretting not taking the chance.”

“Thanks Leigh,” I said. “I actually said the same thing this morning. It’s just,” I trailed off. “I’ve lived in this safety net my whole life and this…this is just the unknown.”

“Coming in so fresh, this whole tour’s been an unknown,” Leighanne reminded me. “But you’ve handled all of this crazy stuff so well. I remember the first time Brian took me on the road. I was a homesick mess. Brian almost quit the group because I was so miserable. And you? You haven’t even blinked an eye this whole time; you’re stronger than you think.”

I gave her a hug.

“When are you going to do it?” she asked.

“Hunter’s coming to the concert tomorrow. The guys are doing Oprah the day after the concert so I’ll have time after the show to talk to him.”

“I wish I could be there for you,” she said sadly.

“Where are you going?”

“Baylee’s karate camp starts in a few days. You guys are flying to Illinois and I’m flying back to Atlanta with Baylee.”

“I’m going to miss you,” I said sadly.

“If you need to talk, call me.”

I nodded. On cue, the boys walked out of the dressing room.

“Dude, one of the stage hands said the cast of Jersey Shore’s here,” AJ said. “I love Snooki.”

“Hey!” Rochelle said, peeking over a magazine.

“Not that way,” AJ corrected, peering out into the crowd.

“This is a college,” Nick said. “I don’t think those guys would be let anywhere near here.”

I looked out at the audience. I saw a lot of beautiful co-eds mixed in with the standard crowd, but no Snooki. I watched as the Dean of Students introduced the Boys.

They ran past me one by one. Nick ran out last. He stopped for a moment, sliding a piece of paper in my hand. Then he bounded on stage.

I leaned against the wall, shielded by the stage curtain. I unfolded the paper, recognizing Nick’s handwriting. It was comprised of a short quote and a few words, but put together it spoke volumes.

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. -- Franklin P. Jones

Livvy,
I want to take that ride with you. -- Nick

Chaper Twenty – Illinois

I was a nervous wreck by the time we landed in Chicago the next morning. Unlike the first flight, there was no goofing off for the camera. We boarded the plane at two a.m., everyone groggy and, if I may say, a little grumpy. Unable to sleep, I worked on the footage from the previous day as everyone around me nodded off to sleep. Nick struggled to stay awake. He didn’t talk but he seemed to want to provide a presence while I worked. Even so, around three o’clock in the morning, his head fell heavily on my shoulder and I was alone with my thoughts.

We arrived in Chicago around five thirty in the morning. Everyone was moving on automatic; bags were pulled off and everyone lumbered to the van that would take us to the House of Blues Hotel in Chicago.

If it wasn’t for what waited for me later in the day, I would have been excited about the hotel. My mom and I had seen Nick perform at the House of Blues seven years ago and we stayed in the hotel. It was the coolest room I had ever stayed in. Who would have known that seven years later I’d be working for my idols? Everyone shuffled into the lobby a little before seven. Everyone was anxious to check in and grab a few more hours of sleep. I saw Andrea sitting on her suitcase, nodding off, as the clerk tried to activate everyone’s key cards as quickly as possible. I grabbed the one for our room, and nudging Andrea I motioned towards the elevator.

We rode in silence; she seemed to be half in a coma. It was only halfway through the tour and lack of sleep was starting to catch up with everyone. We walked into our room, an amazing mix match of polka dots and stripes and luxurious gold lame pillows. The whole room smelled like chocolate; it was heavenly distracting.

“Ugh,” Andrea said. I looked at her to see her fall face first into bed. We could have been in a rat infested motel for all she cared. The bed seemed to swallow her up for a moment before she reappeared, clutching a pillow to her.

“Good night,” she said contentedly. “I don’t care if I ever wake up.”

I walked into the bathroom, leaving Andrea to fall asleep in peace. I really wanted a bath, but not chancing my luck, I took a quick shower. I spent a long time choosing my outfit for the day and playing with my hair. After about two hours, I realized that no matter how nice my hair looked, the day wasn’t going to be good. I felt like I had a scarlet letter on my chest.

I left the room with my laptop and found a quiet corner in the hotel café. I sat picking at a bowl of fresh fruit, trying to drown myself in work. Around eleven, I leaned back in my chair and stretched. My eyes were killing me.

“There you are.”

I looked up and saw Nick. He had on a huge pair of sunglasses, a hooded sweatshirt that cover his hair, and baggy sweatpants that looked like they could fit two of him. He looked like a bank thief.

“Going incognito?” I asked. He nodded, sitting down. He unwrapped a BLT sandwich and took a big bite.

“Have you been here all morning?” he said, gesturing to the table.

“Couldn’t sleep,” I said. “I got dressed and got to work.”

“I like that dress.”

I smoothed a wrinkle out of the red and white sundress. “Thanks,” I said. I bit my lip. It was the first time I had ever had trouble talking to him. He reached over and took my hand.

“Hey,” he said softly. I looked up. “I’m staying out of it today, but I’m here if you need me.”

I nodded. He sat finishing off the rest of his sandwich as I powered off the laptop.

"What time’s sound check?” I asked.

"Three.”

We stood in tandem, heading back into the lobby.

“What’s with the clothes?” I said, gesturing to his overly sloppy attire.

“AJ already got spotted by a fan this morning,” Nick explained. “He’s sporting a shiner.”

I stopped, looking at him. “Are you kidding me?”

Nick smiled. “Nope. His eye is a lovely shade of purple. Midwest girls are crazy.”

I rolled my eyes and gave him a push. “Hey I’m from Wisconsin. That’s an insult.”

“Well, then,” Nick laughed. “Can I say I’m crazy for a Midwest girl?”

“That’s better,” I said.

During our few seconds of banter, the lobby had begun to fill with people checking out for the day. For some reason, my eyes spanned the room, watching as businessmen checked their watches impatiently and couples looked sadly around at the love nest they were leaving.

My mind was so preoccupied that at first I just smiled as I saw a couple kissing, their luggage at their feet, trying to prolong their checkout. I moved past them to a group of girls wearing Backstreet shirts, obviously enjoying the day before the concert and on sharp lookout for a Boy or two. Then with a gasp, I looked back at the couple.

“Nick,” I hissed.

“What?”

I grabbed the sleeve of his sweatshirt and dragged him over to a tall potted plant. I crouched down. He remained standing, looking around.

"What?”

“Get down!”

He crouched next to me, peeking out between the leaves.

“What?” he repeated for the third time.

I peered out between the foliage, my jaw agape. I studied the couple, still embracing tightly; they were in a hell of a sloppy liplock.

“I don’t believe it,” I murmured. Nick followed my gaze.

“They look like two fish,” Nick said. “That’s disgusting. We have much better form. That guy has no technique.”

“That guy,” I said, my heart racing as I zoomed in and took a picture with my IPhone. “is Hunter. My husband.”
Nick looked at me. “Are you sure?”

I laughed scornfully. “I could spot him in my sleep. The red hair is a dead giveaway. And besides,” I paused. “the girl he’s kissing is my best, no, ex-best friend, Jess.”

We watched as they finally broke apart. Hunter turned to grab their luggage and there was no mistaking it was him. My hands clenched into fists.

“Motherfucker. I’m going over there,” Nick said, standing up. I yanked him back down.

“You’re staying out of it, remember?” I said.

“But…”

“I’m going to handle this.”

We stayed crouched down behind the planter as Hunter checked them out at the desk. Jess leaned against the counter, playing with her hair. With a smile only those who are intimate could share, they headed out of the hotel, holding hands.

“I don’t believe it,” I said. I turned and sat down, my back supported by the planter. Nick did the same. “I mean I guess I can,” I said, thinking about all of the “long” hours of work. “But, not with her. I guess I deserve this”

“How do you deserve this?” he asked. “The guy’s a cheater.”

“Aren’t I?” I said. The swelling of my lips had gone down, but the memory still lingered vividly.

“They just left the hotel with luggage. That means they spent the night together.” Nick explained. “And somehow I don’t think they just kissed. Unlike us.”

I laughed. I felt like an absolute idiot.

“Isn’t cheating, cheating?” I said.

“When I get my hands on him,” Nick said, ignoring the question. I shook my head.

“You’ve got to let me handle this,” I said. I felt a weight lifted off my chest. “At least now, this isn’t going to be so hard. Not now that I know…” I trailed off.

Nick stood and gently pulled me to my feet. I took out my phone again.

“Who are you calling?” he asked. I held up a finger and punched in the speed dial for Hunter. The phone rang, on the second ring it connected.

“Hello?”

“Hey babe,” I said. The word tasted like sandpaper in my mouth. “Are you on the road yet?”

“I’m actually just leaving home. I’m filling up for gas as we speak.”

My eyes narrowed; my jaw clenched. Taking a deep
breath, I tried to keep my voice light.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, Jess is coming today. She called me for a ticket a few days ago. Is she riding up with you?” I asked sweetly.

“What?” I heard a muffled noise in the background, then silence. “I haven’t spoken to her, so she must be driving herself.” he said. “I can‘t wait to see you.”

I almost snorted, but refrained. “I can’t wait to see you, either.” I said. Nick looked at me skeptically, but the truth was I couldn’t wait to see him. I wanted, no needed, to know how long this had been going on. I just hoped that after I learned the whole truth I could get through it without anyone getting arrested or hospitalized

I guess Midwest girls are a little crazy.

Chapter Twenty One

I rode to the sound check in silence. Nick refused to let me work. Instead I sat backstage waiting, checking my watch, and wondering when they would show up. The VIP passes I had waiting at will call would get them into sound check and backstage to see me and meet the guys. I cracked my knuckles, a nervous habit that I had all but abandoned but which at the moment kept me from falling completely apart.

I looked out periodically into the crowd of girls singing along with every song for a glimpse of them. It wasn’t until the last song that they walked in.

They came separately, but only minutes apart. Hunter was wearing a yellow Spongebob Squarepants shirt that I absolutely hated. He always reminded me of a McDonald’s, the bright yellow fabric clashing horrendously with his bright red hair. I held my breath when I saw Jess moving through the crowd. She bumped into him and acted surprised. I wasn’t buying it. They stood for a few minutes talking before heading towards the crowd and the stage. I could see the VIP passes around their necks.

The boys finished the set and headed off the stage to a large area that was perfect for meet and greets. Hunter stopped a security guard and said something. The guy shrugged. Hunter began moving his hands and giving what I can only assume was a description of me. The guard pointed in my direction and let them pass.

I was sweating from the roots of my hair down to my ankles. I didn’t even know ankles could sweat. I stood up, pasting on a friendly smile. Jess got to me first. She wrapped me in a huge hug.

“Oh my god, you look great!” she said. She stood back and looked around.

“Where are there?”

“Oh, they’re doing meet and greets. But, you can meet them afterwards when the crowd dies down,” I said. I looked over at Hunter. He had his hands in his pockets,
rocking back on his heel.

“Hey,” he said. After a pause, he walked up and gave me a perfunctory hug and a kiss. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry; what I had always thought was a nice enough kiss paled in comparison to the fire Nick sparked in me when we kissed. There had never been a fire with Hunter.

“So, why aren’t you doing anything?” Hunter said, pulling back.

I snorted. “What do you mean?”

“Shouldn’t you be shooting photographs or something?

They don’t pay you to sit around, I’m sure.” I clenched my jaw.

“They knew you guys were coming and told me to take this one off,” I explained. “How’s work for you?” I added. “Are you still working long hours?”

“Oh, things have slowed down,” he said. I was sure it had now that I wasn’t home.

“I was thinking that after the concert we could go have a late dinner or a nightcap,” I said. “Just the two of
us.”

“Really?” he looked slightly uncomfortable. “Don’t you guys have to take off after the concert?”

“No,” I said. “The guys are doing Oprah tomorrow. We’re actually staying in Chicago tonight and then heading to Detroit tomorrow night.”

“Oh.”

“Are you staying overnight Jess?” I asked, turning to her. She looked slightly uncomfortable.

“I haven’t really decided.”

I wanted to whip out my phone and give them a piece of my mind, but I refrained. I didn’t want to do anything until after the concert.

I glanced over to the meet and greet area. The guys were finishing up with the last few fans.

“You want to meet the guys?” I asked. Jess’s eyes lit up, Hunter just shrugged. I led them across the stage, pointing out the set list and mentioning some interesting facts before stepping down into the meet and greet area.

“Hey guys,” I said. When they saw Hunter behind me they all seemed to take a defensive stance, even AJ, whose eye was almost completely swelled shut. He was trying to hide it behind the largest pair of sunglasses I have ever seen. They were larger than the ones Nick had worn that morning.

“Hey Liv,” Brian said, breaking the tension.

“This is my best friend Jess,” I said. The words left a sour taste in my mouth. “And this is my husband Hunter.”

Jess jumped forward, CD in hand. After gushing over each of the guys in turn and getting their autograph, Hunter stepped forward, reluctantly putting out his hand. Howie shook it first.

“Howie.” he said by way of greeting. I raised an eyebrow. Howie, ever so polite, never greeted anyone with just his name.

“AJ.”

“Brian.”

Hunter reached Nick, holding out his hand. I saw a thousand things flash through Nick’s eyes. He glanced my way; I shook my head no. Nick reached forward, taking Hunter’s hand. He didn’t introduce himself.

“You’re a lucky man,” Nick said. I saw both men tighten their grip in a power of wills.

“Oh? Why do you say that?” Hunter’s face turned slightly red as Nick’s fingers crushed his tighter.

“You’ve got a good woman,” Nick said darkly.

I laughed nervously and stepped up behind Hunter. Nick reluctantly dropped his hand. Hunter stared at him angrily.

“I hope you enjoy the concert,” Nick said sweetly.

“It’s not really my kind of music,” Hunter said coldly. “I like popular music.”

My eyes widened. Nick looked about ready to kill.

“I’ve got to get my equipment set up,” I explained. “Those are your seats.” I said pointing to two seats front row center. “The concert will start in about an hour. Why don’t you go get a drink?”

Lord knows I could use one, I thought.

Hunter walked off with his chest inflated like he was some kind of club bouncer. Jess followed him. I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“I wanted to break his hand,” Nick said, watching them walk off. The other guys disappeared. “Couldn’t I have at least broken his hand?”

I shook my head. “I’m going to handle it Nick. I think you said enough.”

“What did I say?” he said innocently. I gave him a look.

“Alright, alright.” He held up his hands. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

I watched him walk off and sighed. My gut feeling told me that Nick was just getting started.

----------------------------

The sun was setting as the Boys took the stage. I saw Jess talking a mile a minute; Hunter was drinking a beer, looking highly annoyed.

The guys started with Everybody, then PDA, Quit Playing Games, and As You Long as You Love Me. I was crouched down by the stage, my camera resting by my side. I listened for the intro to This is Us, but it never came.

“How’s it going Ravinia?” Nick called out loudly. A thousand screams flew back at him.

“Typically our next song is This is Us,” Nick said. “But tonight I want to shake it up.” The crowd roared again. Nick turned to the other guys; they nodded.

I raised an eyebrow.

“We’ve recorded a lot of songs over the years; some have made our albums and some haven’t,” Nick explained. “The guys and I want to do one of our unreleased tracks for you guys tonight.”

The lights on the stage threw shadows as the last of the sun’s rays disappeared in the horizon.

“We want to dedicate this song to all the ladies out there who have ever been mistreated by a man,” Nick explained. “Every woman deserves better than a Happily Never After.”

My mouth dropped open. This is what Nick called his best behavior?

Brian stepped forward. He seemed to glance my way.

I don’t think I want this anymore / as she drops her ring to the floor / She says to herself ‘you’ve left before, yeah’ / but this time you will stay gone, that’s for sure, yeah

Nick stepped up beside him. I followed his line of sight and groaned. He was staring right at Hunter, I just knew it.

And he shouted something out / She dragged her suitcase down the path / to the driveway / She had never gone that far / Normally this would be the time that she would let him talk her out of leaving / But this time, without crying as she got into her car she said…

Howie and AJ stepped forward and their harmonies blended seamlessly. It was too perfect not to be rehearsed. They must have snuck away and practiced during the day while I was preoccupied.

No happily never after / That just ain’t for me because finally / I know, I deserve better, after all / I’ll never let another teardrop fall

I sat in shocked silence as AJ sang his verse and together they repeated the chorus. I glanced down the front row; Hunter was still there, but I couldn’t see his face. I turned back to the stage.

Howie was kneeling right in front of me. He was singing out to the crowd, but his placement was just too convenient.

I’m done I’m done / said I’m so done / I’m free, I’m free / so free to feel the way I feel, yeah / She inhales a breath she never breathed before / don’t want no drama no more

I looked back down the front row again. This time I saw a large figure getting up and walking down the aisle. Slinging the camera over my shoulder, I got up and followed as the last notes of Happily Never After hung in the air.

I sensed our confrontation was going to happen sooner than I had expected.

Chapter Twenty Two

“Hunter!” I called out. He was headed towards the East gate. I ran and caught up with him, touching his arm.

“Where are you going?” I said.

“I can’t listen to that shitty music anymore,” he said.

“Hunter, we need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

I pulled out my phone.

“You have an IPhone?” he said, watching as I tapped some app buttons. “How the hell did you afford that?”

“How’d you afford a night’s stay at the House of Blues?” I retorted. I watched his face darken.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he said quietly. I held up the picture on my phone.

“Oh, really now. Then how do you explain this?”

Hunter blanched. “Have you been having me followed?”

I laughed. “No, I wouldn’t waste my time or money. We’re staying there tonight; I was walking through the lobby earlier today when I saw…” I waved the phone in the air. I waited for an apology, at least some embarrassment. I didn’t get it.

“Well, what do you expect?” he finally said, all pretenses gone. “Olivia, I have needs.”

I snorted.

“Needs? I could barely get you to “need” me once a month.” I said, making quotations with my fingers to emphasize the word ‘need’. “Don’t blame me,” I continued. “For four years I’ve done nothing but try to be everything for you. You said I was too fat; I went on a diet. You said I was a horrible cook; I took cooking classes for a year. You said college was too expensive; I dropped out. Nothing I ever did was right.” Unwanted tears filled my eyes. “What about me, Hunter? What about my hopes and dreams and needs?”

“You got what you wanted, didn’t you?” he said, smiling sardonically. “You went off with your darling Backstreet Boys. Don’t stand here and tell me there isn’t something going on with Carter. I’m not stupid.”

I lifted my chin slightly. I refused to be brought down.

“You’re right. I won’t lie. I’ve never been happier in my life.” I said. “But I’ll tell you right now that I’ve not crossed the line you have. I had more respect for you than that.” I slipped off my engagement and wedding rings and held them out. “But you never respected me. So, for the first time in my life I’m taking charge. I’m nobody’s doormat. I can’t spend the rest of my life with you.”

He took the rings, turning them over in his hand thoughtfully. Jess came up slowly, hesitating a couple yards away.

“Is everything okay?” she said, her voice shaking nervously.

I turned to look at her.

“I just want to know one thing,” I said taking a few steps in her direction. “How long has this been going on, Jess?

She looked scared. “I don’t know what you mean,” she said, licking her lips.

I held out my phone. “How long has my best friend been sleeping with my husband?” I said quietly.

Jess’s face crumpled. “I’m so sorry, Liv. I didn’t mean—“

“I don’t care,” I said quietly, trying to keep calm. “How long?”

“A year,” she admitted, glancing at Hunter. He looked away. His hand tightened around the rings.

I smiled in disbelief, turning back to Hunter. “A year? A year?” I said, my voice rising an octave. “God, you must have been really proud of yourself.”

From the stage, the guys were just beginning their solo songs. My hands clenched into fists.

“What do you want me to say?” Hunter said loudly over the sound of Drive by Love.

“What does Jess have that I didn’t have?” I asked. “What makes her special enough to spend three hundred dollars on a hotel room when we had to stay at a Motel 8 on our honeymoon?”

Hunter’s smile grew cruel. “You really want to know?” he said, almost teasingly.

“Hunter—“ Jess said. He waved her off.

“Jess is giving me the thing you couldn’t.”

Even though the evening was balmy, my body turned ice cold. I looked at Jess for confirmation.

“I’m pregnant,” Jess said quietly. She couldn’t make eye contact.

The world seemed to stop. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

“Hunter Ryans?”

Through my tormented haze I heard a deep voice with a horrible British accent. My eyes widened to see a guy standing behind Hunter, wearing a dark black running outfit complete with hood and sunglasses. Hunter turned around agitated. Before he could let out a verbal assault, I saw the guy’s fist make direct contact with Hunter’s face. I heard a sickening crunch and watched Hunter drop to the ground.

The guy looked in my direction before disappearing into the crowd. It didn’t take a rocket scientist for me to figure out who it was.

Pandemonium ensued. Bystanders gathered. Jess ran to Hunter, screaming for help. I backed away slowly, my mind numb. I could see blood spurting from Hunter’s nose and he moaned, rolling from side to side. Taking a deep breath, I turned and broke into a run. I jogged on the outskirts of the crowd, flashed my VIP pass quickly and headed backstage.

I ended up locking myself in a bathroom. The tears fell heavily once I closed the door. Sinking to the ground I hit speed dial on my phone. As the phone rang I rocked back and forth, gasping between sobs.

“Hello?” The warm voice felt like a blanket wrapping around me.

“Mommy?” I cried.

And I completely broke down.

---------------------------------------------

After talking to my mom, I felt slightly better. Even so I decided I just wanted to die in the bathroom. I curled up on the floor, the tears still flowing freely. A long time passed; the floor was no longer vibrating. The concert was over. A few minutes passed.

‘Livvy?”

It was Nick.

“I know you’re in there,” he said. “I’ve checked everyplace else.”

He tried the door. It was locked.

“Will you let me in?”

I don’t know why, but I started sobbing again. I held my knees close to my chest, rocking back and forth.

“Liv, please let me in,” he begged.

“No,” I cried out. I heard a loud sigh from the other side of the door.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here if you need me,” Nick said. I heard a body sliding down along the other side of the door. I could almost picture him sitting there, his back against the door.

Eventually my sobs faded away, only to be replaced by the worst stomach pain imaginable. Luckily I chose a bathroom; I began to heave the contents of my fruit breakfast into the porcelain bowl. If I hated crying, I hated throwing up even more. Now I knew I was never coming out.

“Livvy?” Nick pounded on the door again. I groaned.

“Go away,” I moaned. I heaved again.

“That’s it,” he said. “Either you let me in or I’m breaking down this door.”

I believed him. I grabbed some toilet paper, wiping my mouth. I unlocked the door.

He pushed the door open slowly, looking down at me. His eyes softened.

“Oh Liv.”

--------------------------------

An hour later I sat in Nick’s hotel room. I watched as he lowered his hand into a bucket of ice cubes. He flinched and turned his head.

“So how’d you hurt your hand again?” I asked. My throat was scratchy; my eyes were raw. I had never cried so much in one day.

“I came through the crowd for my solo and fell getting back on stage. I think I broke my hand,” he said convincingly.

“Was that before or after you broke Hunter’s nose?” I said, leaning back. I was surrounded by a ring of Kleenex.

Nick scowled.

“How do you know that was me?”

"C’mon, Nick. That was the worst British accent I’ve ever heard.” Nick sighed.

“What was I supposed to do? I saw you run off after him.”

“I said I could handle it,” I reminded him crossly.

“How could I stand there when I saw how much he was hurting you? He might not have laid a hand on you, but I know from experience that words can cut deeper than actual physical violence,” Nick said patiently. I looked away.

“How much did you hear?” I said quietly.

“Enough.”

I let out a shaky breath.

Nick slid closer to me, ice bucket and all. He leaned over, his lips gently grazing my forehead. I leaned against him, closing my eyes. Even though we were sitting on the floor, it was the softest floor I had ever sat on.

“You could get arrested if he recognized you,” I said quietly.

“Well,” Nick said thoughtfully. “At least this time it will be for a good cause.”

I sighed. The day’s events had sucked the last of my energy from my body. We both sat in silence, except for the sound of his hand moving the ice cubes around in the bucket.

I remember falling asleep against him. What I don’t remember is him picking me up, broken hand and all, and putting me in bed. I woke the next morning to see him sleeping uncomfortably on the couch.

He did it for me.

Chapter Twenty Three

After getting showered and dressed, I walked back into the room to see Nick still asleep. I shook his shoulder gently. His hand was still in the bucket; the ice cubes had been reduced to water. I made a face; his hand didn’t look good.

“Nick?” I whispered. He mumbled in his sleep. I shook him harder.

“Nick?”

His free hand came around, pulling me down. I would have thought he was just being ornery except his chest still rose and fell in sleep.

“NICK!”

His body jerked and I slid onto the floor with an “oomph.” I watched as his eyes fluttered open.

“Huh?”

“I think you might need to go to the doctor,” I said. He looked confused for a moment, but as he brought the hand up to run through his hair, he stopped and stared.

“Ohhh.”

It looked like a rubber glove that someone inflated. The tips of his fingers were black and blue.

“I guess you’re right.”

I helped him get into a shirt. As we were walking to the elevator, Brian stopped us. It was a late morning for everyone; Brian was still wearing his Kentucky Wildcat pajamas.

“Everything okay?” he said. Nick held up his hand.

“Damn, if your hand looks like that I’d hate to see that guys face,” Brian remarked.

Brian raised his hand for a high-five. Nick returned it with his good hand.

“You,” I pointed at Brian. He smiled sheepishly. “You’re supposed to be a good influence.”

Brian shook his head. “Nick and I combined are never a good influence.” he said. He stood, hands on hips as we walked into the elevator.

“If they have to put a cast on that you better think up a good story for Oprah!” Brian called as the doors shut.

We rode down in silence. Nick wouldn’t admit it, but he was in pain. I hailed a taxi and we headed to the hospital.

“Are you okay?” he asked me as the taxi wove through traffic. Chicago was insane, but not nearly as bad as New York.

“I’m fine,” I said quietly. I rubbed the bare spot on my finger. “I called my mom yesterday.”

“What did she say?”

I smiled. “She said that she would have liked to help you punch him out,” I admitted.

“You told her I punched him?” Nick said. He groaned.

“Of course I did,” I said. “She told me that Hunter better watch out when he gets back into town. I think she wants to put a few other body parts out of commission.”

Nick grinned, then grew serious.

“I hate that you’re wasting the morning taking me to the hospital,” he complained. “I’m sure you have other things you need to do.”

I shrugged. “Like what?”

Truth was, I didn’t have anything to do. The best impulse decision I ever made was calling my mom when everything fell apart. Having worked for a lawyer for over ten years, she had the best connections in our small town. My mother could turn into an angry mama bear in a second and she’d do anything, anything to protect her cub.

At that moment the taxi pulled up to the emergency room. I hopped out and ran inside. I explained the situation. Moments later we were ushered in a back door to avoid any craziness in the emergency room. We already had AJ with a black eye and Nick with a busted hand; I wanted to keep the rest of him in one piece.

An hour later I sat watching the doctor set Nick’s hand in a cast. An X-ray showed that he had broken the metacarpal bone in his middle finger and his middle phalanx in his index finger. He also had a hairline fracture in his wrist.

“You did a number on this hand, Mr. Carter,” the doctor commented.

“Yeah, I’ll take the stairs one at a time from now on,” Nick said innocently. I gave him a look; he grinned.

Thirty minutes later we were back in a taxi, heading back to the hotel. The doctor had given Nick a shot of pain medication. With the way he was smiling, I could tell he felt absolutely no pain.

“You know,” he said, leaning towards me like he was going to tell me the biggest secret in the world. “my hand doesn’t hurt anymore.”

I stifled a laugh. “That’s because the doctor gave you a pain killer.”

“Ohhh.” He sat back for a second, then leaned towards me again.

“You know what else?”

I couldn’t help it; I laughed. “What, Nick?”

“You’re beautiful.”

“Nick, I haven’t done my hair and I don’t have a lick of makeup on,” I said. He threw his good arm around me, tugging me closer.

“I don’t care,” he said sweetly. He held up his cast dreamily, looking at it as if he just realized it was there. “Hey, my hand looks like the Hamburger Helper glove.”

The taxi pulled up to the hotel at just the right moment. I helped Nick out and back up to his room. I got him settled on the couch and then went and knocked on Brian’s door. He opened the door still in his pajamas.

“I need you to help get Nick dressed,” I explained. “I would, but he’s loopy on pain killers, so…”

Brian grinned. “Oh this is going to be fun.”

I looked at my watch.

“Don’t have too much fun. You guys have to leave for Oprah in an hour.”

Brian padded off barefooted to Nick’s room. I headed in the direction of the room I was supposed to be sharing with Andrea. I slid my keycard and walked in. She was talking on her cell phone, but disconnected almost immediately after seeing me.

“Liv? O-M-G. Where have you been?”

Still stinging from Jess’s betrayal, I hesitated to open up too fully.

“Well, Nick broke his hand getting on stage last night. We just got back from the doctor.”

“Yeah I heard that. Did you hear some guy got his nose annihilated at the concert?”

I feigned surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah. I guess some guy dressed like a bank robber came up and just punched him. It was right before Nick’s solo.”

“Geesh. Crazy.” I said.

“Hey, did you get to spend some time with your hubby yesterday?” Andrea asked. “I saw you introducing him to the guys yesterday.”

I wanted so badly to say ex-husband or cheating bastard. Instead, I just nodded.

“A little.”

“Good. Oh! Before I forget, a guy dropped this off for you this morning.”

Andrea walked to a small dining table in the corner of the room and picked up an envelope. She handed it to me.

“I promised I’d give it to you.”

I tore open the envelope and pulled out two sheets of paper. One was a hospital bill. The other was a note in Hunter’s handwriting.

“Give this bill to Carter. And, if you tell ANYONE about this, you’ll be bailing your pretty boy out of jail. I know it was him.”

I folded the sheets calmly, tucking them back in the envelope.

“So?” Andrea said. “What is it?”

“A bruised ego,” I said. She looked confused. I shook my head. “It’s nothing,” I said, standing. I looked at my watch.

“I’ve got to go. The guys are doing Oprah this afternoon.”

“Have fun,” Andrea called as I headed out of the room.

----------------------------------------

“Maybe you should have cancelled,” I told Howie as we waited in the green room. I knew Oprah was the real deal; her green room was actually green.

“No,” Howie said cautiously, eyeing Nick. “I think he’ll be fine.”

I looked at Nick, then back at Howie doubtfully. Nick held a glass of Diet Coke, blowing bubbles into the liquid with his straw.

“What kind of pain medicine did that doctor give him, again?” AJ asked.

“I think it was Percocet or Vicodin,” I said.

“He did cocaine for years,” Howie said. “How the hell can he get this loopy off a shot?”

“He’s been clean for a year and a half,” AJ explained. “The first time you get a drug back into your system,” he closed his eyes. “It does some crazy shit.”

Nick looked up from his straw, smiling.

“Hi.”

“We did Ellen without Bri,” Howie said. “Maybe Nick should sit this one out.”

“I was stuck in an elevator,” Brian argued. “He’s sitting right here. That’s going to be a little harder to explain.”

A very businesslike lady walked in, clipboard in hand.

“Guys, you’re on in ten minutes.”

We all looked at each other and back to Nick.

“Nick,” AJ said, kneeling down in front of him. “When we get out there just let us do the talking, okay?”

Nick nodded, putting a finger to his lips.

“Shhhhhhhhhh,” he said loudly. I groaned.

This wasn’t going to go well.

Chapter Twenty Four

I was wrong about things not going well. At the last moment, Nick said he needed to lie down. Once he fell onto the couch and his head hit the pillow, he was down for the count.

“We’ll just say he wasn’t feeling well,” Brian said. “If they show a shot from the green room everyone’s going to see that cast and him snoring away. This will work,” he said.

“I can stay behind and babysit,” I suggested.

“No, look,” Howie said, pointing at Nick. “He’s completely knocked out. Come with us. Get a shot of us with Oprah for the website.”

I reluctantly left sleeping beauty in the green room and followed the guys, Leigh, baby James, and Rochelle to the studio, camera in hand.

Oprah met us behind the set. I was star struck and smiled in delight as she signed a picture for my mom. Brian explained why Nick wasn’t going to be able to come out. She laughed.

“Alright, then. I’ll see you three in a minute,” she said walking out to greet the audience. A cheer rose up.

Moments later the guys were introduced and headed out to the iconic couch. The interview was standard; questions about the tour, funny stories, etc. Brian gave an amazingly amusing description of Nick breaking his hand. I watched every girl’s face when he mentioned that Nick was collapsed on the couch in the green room, his hand in a cast. They all looked like they wanted to throw on a nurse’s cap and give him some one-on-one attention. I laughed. Somehow the reality was far less glamorous than what all those girls were imagining. I had been right where they were just months ago. I knew what was going through their minds.

After a commercial break, Oprah switched the topic to their personal lives. Howie, always the businessman, mentioned the family effort on the Masquerade video. Brian showed some personal family pictures and talked in depth about Baylee’s love of karate. AJ brought Rochelle out and they discussed their wedding without giving away even a hint about the date. Finally, Howie led Leigh and baby James out. The audience erupted in “awww’s.” Just like a future star should, James began waving, a grin identical to Howie’s lighting up his small face.

“And can you guys dish on what’s going on with Nick’s personal life?” Oprah said. “I have a feeling a few girls in the audience would like to know.”

Squeals ensued.

“Nick, is and always will be Nick,” Brian said. “He loves a gorgeous woman.”

Brian’s statement sounded completely generalized, but I heard a slight stress on the word a, as in one rather than a as in any gorgeous woman. I smiled.

They stopped for another commercial. The guys headed over to the area set up for their performance and did a quick pitch exercise. I thought they were going to perform Bigger; but recognized Masquerade in seconds. Considering how many times I had heard it in the past week, I would have been ashamed if I didn’t recognize it.

Coming back from break, Oprah introduced the song and I became absorbed. I was so oblivious that halfway through I didn’t see Nick walk right past me towards the stage. The crowd started screaming and my mouth fell open. I saw Howie’s eyes widen, but to his credit he kept right on key. Nick gave an enthusiastic wave to the audience. I slapped my face into my open palm.

“What’s up Oprah?!” Nick screamed into Brian’s microphone. Brian tried to pull it away, but Nick grabbed it right from his hand.

“I need ya babyyyyyyyyy”

Brian grabbed the microphone back and took over Nick’s part. Nick continued to entertain the crowd by waltzing with AJ.

I thanked God when the song was over. Nick took a deep bow and held up his hand.

“Who wants to sign my cast?”

The girls went wild. Howie dragged Nick backstage.

“Let’s give it up for the Backstreet Boys!” Oprah said in an attempt to provide a distraction. She began applauding and the audience joined in.

So much for things going well.

--------------------------------

“Oprah signed my cast,” Nick announced on the ride back to the hotel. He was chowing down on a Big Mac meal. I was hoping the food would help to dilute whatever was still coursing through his veins.

“That’s really cool,” I said.

“I can’t believe you guys just left me sleeping,” Nick complained, folding a fry and eating it in one bite.

“Nick, you’re high,” Howie said.

“Nu-uh.”

“The doctor gave you pain meds for your hand,” I reminded him.

“Oh yeah,” Nick picked a pickle off his sandwich and held it out to me. “Pickle?”

I shook my head.

“At least he’s not mean on the stuff,” Brian said, trying to be helpful. “He’s kind of cute. Like a puppy.”

Brian reached over and petted the top of Nick’s head. I saw Nick’s eyes shoot upward in confusion.

We pulled up to the hotel. Nick hopped out of the van still carrying his fast food bag. I handed Brian his drink.

“Can you help him into his bus?” I said. “I’ll go round up his luggage and my luggage and then I’ll take over.”

Brian looked at Nick warily, but nodded.

I headed inside the hotel with Howie, Leigh, AJ, and Rochelle. The dancers had already checked out and were waiting for us to hit the road. I quickly got my bag. Throwing a few loose articles of Nick’s clothing back into his duffel, I dragged everything downstairs.

By the time I got the bags loaded into the baggage compartment of Nick’s bus and then dragged both of our duffel bags aboard I was exhausted. I set the bags down with a grunt.

“That was fast,” Brian said. Nick and Brian were sitting on the floor, playing Mario Kart.

“I tried,” I said. “You’re free to go,” I said. Brian did a hard turn with his wheel.

“Nick wanted to play Mario Kart,” he explained. I looked over at Nick. He was concentrating on the game so hard that his tongue was sticking out of his mouth.

“Is that a good idea?” I said. “With as loopy as he is I don’t want the game to give him a seizure.

Brian’s Donkey Kong flew across the finish line far ahead of Nick’s Princess Peach. He tossed down his wheel.

“That’s alright. I won anyhow.”

“I want a rematch,” Nick said, scowling.

“Maybe later,” Brian said. “I gotta get my stuff.”

Giving me a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, Brian bounced out of the bus.

“Have fun babysitting!” he called over his shoulder. I stuck out my tongue and closed the bus doors.

“Wanna play?” Nick said. I shook my head.

“Wanna do something else?” he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. I shook my head.

“I’m going to work on some stuff for the website,” I said, placing my equipment case on the table. “Why don’t you go take a nap?”

“I’m not tired,” Nick complained. “I slept through Oprah, remember?”

Not all of it, I thought.

“Then come watch me work,” I suggested, patting the couch cushion next to me.

Turning off the Wii, he came and sat beside me. For a little while he watched me work.

“Hey Livvy?” he finally said.

“What Nick?” I said quietly.

“You’d make a real good mom.”

I turned to look at him. He smiled at me; Brian was right, he looked like a puppy. Tears sprang to my eyes.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you’re taking real good care of me.”

With that he laid down, resting his head in my lap. With a sad sigh, I ran the fingers of my left hand through his hair while I continued to work using my right. After awhile I looked down to check on him.

He was fast asleep.

Chapter Twenty Five – Michigan

Afraid to wake Nick, I fell asleep on the couch, his head still on my lap. The bus’s gentle rocking motion combined with Nick’s soft breathing was like a lullaby to me. The night passed quickly; if it wasn’t for the ringing of my phone, I could have slept at least another few hours.

I groped at the table for my phone. My left contact had worked loose overnight and had dried between my eyelids, sealing them shut. I squinted at the phone but couldn’t make out the number. I connected, hoping it was someone I wanted to talk to. If not, waking me up was going to be a big mistake.

“Hello?” I said. I looked down, but Nick was gone. I held the phone away from my ear. I could hear the shower running from the back of the bus.

“Olivia?”

The voice on the phone sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

“Yes?”

“It’s Gretchen from the library. I hope you don’t mind, but your mother gave me your new number.”

The light bulb came on. Gretchen was the assistant director of the Wakamata Public Library, my former employer. I sat up and tried to get my eye open with my free hand.

“Hi Gretchen,” I said, wincing as I felt the hardened lens crack under my fingers. “No problem. What can I do for you?”

“Well,” she said with a little laugh. “I have some good news.”

“Oh?” I said. I yanked shards of plastic lens off my eyelid. My eye fluttered open. Everything was blurry.

“We’re a little short staffed, so we were hoping that you might be able to come back to help us with the Summer Reading Program in July.”

“You’re a little short staffed because you fired half of the people that worked there,” I reminded her. I didn’t care if she took offense; it wasn’t like she could fire me again.

“We didn’t want it to come to that,” Gretchen explained sweetly. It was the same tone she used the day she fired me. “But our budget hit rock bottom. We had no choice. We couldn’t pay everyone.”

“I was three days short of the cutoff as far as seniority,” I said bitterly. “I worked there 9 years and 362 days. Anyone 10 years and over was safe,” I reminded her.

“Which is why you’re the first person I’m calling,” she said, as if that made it all better.

“I’ll tell you what,” I said, putting my feet up on the table by my laptop. “I’ll come back July 6 and work through the month if you hire me back full time in September.”

There was silence for a few moments. I smiled. It felt good to be the one in control for once.

“I think we can budget you back,” she finally said.

“Wonderful,” I said sweetly. “I’ll be seeing you soon.”

I hung up grinning.

“What’s so funny?”

I looked over at Nick. Even with only one good eye I could see that he was fresh from a shower, bare-chested and clad in jeans. A towel hung around his neck, a plastic baggy covered his cast. Nothing was funny about the way he looked. He looked edible.

“I just got my job back at the library,” I said proudly. “How are you feeling?”

“Confused,” he said hesitating. “I don’t remember much from yesterday. I woke up this morning with this cast on my hand signed by Oprah.”

I burst out laughing. After I caught a breath, I filled him in on most of the events of the day before. He looked horrified.

“I didn’t.” he said. “On Oprah? The guys are going to kill me.”

I smiled. “No, they’re not. They were horrified, but they knew you were high on pain meds. They’re not going to kill you.”

He sat down next to me smelling like Old Spice. I inhaled greedily.

“I’m glad you got your job back,” he said. “But, you’re going to be able to come on the Canadian dates, right?”

“Yup. I’m yours the whole month of August.”

“And after that?”

I heard the implication. I met his gaze.

“Nick,” I said softly. “There’s something between us that I can’t describe, and I want to explore it. But I want to do it slowly. I have a divorce to get through before I can really commit to anything.”

He touched my face with his warm palm. He leaned over and kissed me gently.

“I have all the time in the world,” he whispered next to my lips. I shivered. My phone rang again. I wrinkled my nose.

Nick stood up as I answered the phone, motioning that he was going to finish getting dressed. I nodded. I put the received up to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi sweetheart.” It was my mom.

“Mom,” I said, happy to hear her voice. “You’ll never guess who just called me.”

I filled her in on the phone call from the library.

“That’s wonderful,” she said. “They shouldn’t have let you go in the first place.”

I agreed. “So what’s up?”

“I’m calling to let you know I’ve got you a lawyer.”

I took down the information. I paused, biting my lip.

“Have you seen Hunter?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said quietly.

I raised an eyebrow. She never spoke in one word sentence.

“Mom? What happened?”

“He dropped off your dog,” she said, her voice cracking.

“My dog?” I said. “Dog as in singular?”

I had two Boston Terriers: Brewster and Atari. Brewster was thirteen; Atari was just a puppy. I loved those dogs like they were my children.

“He said Brewster passed away while he was gone.” She began to cry.

I sat there holding the phone, not knowing what to say. The tears began to fall quickly down my face.

“You have Atari?” I said, my voice cracking with emotion.

“He’s safe. He’s running around with my pups. Sweetie, I didn’t want to tell you…” she trailed off.

“I…I needed to know,” I said. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Okay. I love you.”

“Love you mom.”

I hung up and buried my face in my hands. The thought of Brewster dying and me not being there was unbearable. My stomach twisted in a knot. I felt guilty, but most of all I prayed he died of natural causes and not as a result of…a result of what had happened with Hunter in Chicago.

Nick came back into the room a few moments later to find me blubbering like a baby.

“What happened?” he said, kneeling down next to me.
Through a chorus of wails, I managed to tell him what happened. He rubbed my leg, his eyes soft and sad.

“We can go rent a car after the concert tonight and go get Atari,” Nick said softly as my sobs died down. I shook my head.

“He gets carsick,” I sniffled. “Plus I don’t think it’s a good idea to have you anywhere near you know who right now.” I glanced at his hand. It was half blurry. I remembered that I had just smashed my dried contact to smithereens and began to cry again.

"It's going to be okay," Nick consoled, rubbing my back.

“No, it's not!” I wailed.

“My dog’s dead and I can’t see!”

Chapter Twenty Six

My eyes were so bloodshot I couldn’t even attempt to put in new contacts. I spent the day wearing my thin-rimmed black glasses and moping. When my phone rang again shortly before sound check, I answered crossly.

“Hello?”

“Olivia?”

“Yes?” I said bitterly. “Who’s this?”

“This is Anderson Little. I was just calling to check in with you and go over a few things.”

I sucked in a little breath.

“Oh Anderson,” I said, my voice becoming overly saccharine to cover my previous faux pas. “Sorry, I didn’t recognize your voice. Good to hear from you.”

“How are things going?”

I almost laughed. The tour, good, I thought. My life? Well…

“The tour’s going great. Lots of great videos and photos. We’re keeping awfully busy
out here.”

“I’ve heard,” he said. “I’m just calling to let you know I’m looking at a completed cut of the Masquerade video right now.”

I sucked in a breath. “Really? How is it?”

Anderson laughed. “I must say, you have definitely exceeded expectations. We chose you for multimedia and you jumped in completely. The video’s choreography is great, the costumes are great; it’s great.”

“Well, the guys invested a lot in it,” I said, perhaps a little bitterly. It didn’t seem right for them to have to pay out of their own pockets.

“As great as it is, it’s a gamble,” Anderson explained. “Songs haven’t been doing well; but we still have faith in our boys. And, thanks to your great work, fan club membership is way, way up.”

“Well, thank you,” I said. “But, I’d say the Boys have a lot to do with that.”

“True, true. Hey, before I go there is one other thing I’d like you to do.”

“What?”

“We’ve noticed some feedback from fans expressing their interest in getting to know a little about the girl behind the camera. They’ve heard your voice and seen you a couple times. I thought maybe you could talk a little bit about what kind of fan you are, your interests, yada, yada. A five minute clip.”

I stifled a groan. I liked being behind camera, not on.

“I think I can do that.”

“Great! Oh, and I thought it would be cool if the guys could write up some questions and ask them to you. It will be like a role reversal.”

I could think of a million problems with that idea, especially concerning one cute, tall blonde.

“No problem,” I said a little reluctantly.

“Great! Well, Tony and I will be at the last stop in California before the break. We’ll see you then.”

“Okay, can’t wait,” I said. I disconnected the call and leaned back.

As if my day could get much worse, I learned right back into a puddle of mud.

----------------------------------------

After changing clothes, I did a quick update to the website, updated the Boys Twitter, and headed to sound check. By this time I had a method down to capturing video and pictures and allowed myself some time to actually enjoy the music. After the meet and greet, the guys gathered backstage, their minds on pizza. I had no appetite; thoughts of my little Brewster were weighing heavily on my mind.

“I have a favor to ask,” I said in an attempt to distract myself. I stared down at my fingers. A few bits of mud were still caked under my fingernails.

“You name it,” Brian said, tipping back in his folding chair.

“I got a call from Anderson Little today,” I explained. “And he asked me to do a little something for the fan club.”

“Like what?” AJ asked. “I can dropkick Nick again.” The corners of my mouth twitched ever so slightly; I couldn’t muster a smile.

“No. The fans,” I rolled my eyes. “They want to know more about me. So, Anderson thought it might be “fun” if you guys ask me some questions.”

Four identical grins gave me my answer; it was a resounding yes.

“When do we start?” Brian asked, rubbing his hands together.

Not today,” I said. “Go ahead and think of some questions tonight and then I’ll stand in front of the firing squad tomorrow.”

At that moment the pizza arrived. Howie and Brian hopped up quickly. Nick slid his chair closer to me.

“How are you doing?” he asked quietly. I shrugged.

“I wish I could do something,” Nick said.

“That’s really sweet of you,” I said. “But, there’s nothing you can do.”

Nick reached over and scraped a mud splatter off the corner of my glasses.

“You look really cute in those,” he said. “If I walked into a library and saw you, I’d want to go to story time every day.”

It was the corniest line I had ever heard. I ducked my head, my mouth betraying me. I cracked a small smile. Nick leaned even closer.

“I don’t have a library card, but I’d check you out any day.”

I turned my head so he couldn’t see my face. My smile widened, my shoulders shook slightly. He leaned closer still, whispering in my ear.

“You must be a great librarian, because baby you increase my circulation.”

I couldn’t help it. I let out a loud laugh. I turned and looked at him, shaking my head.

Having accomplished his goal, Nick grinned and kissed my forehead.

He got up and returned with a piece of pizza for both of us. Feeling slightly better, I nibbled on it.

“So,” Nick said slyly, making sure everyone else was out of earshot. “I just want to let you know you’re going to want to keep your camera going when AJ does Teenage Wildlife tonight.”

“He’s not doing Drive by Love?”

Nick shook his head. “Nope, he’s promoting his single.”

“And why do I need to keep the camera on?”

Nick smiled. “You’ll see.”

I didn’t trust that smile.

-----------------------------------

The concert was running smoothly. Even though a light rain fell, the crowd was impressive. The guys didn’t break out into any unplanned songs and the show was going according to plan. Halfway through, it was time for the solo songs. I watched as the guys ran off stage. Moments later AJ ran back on. He sported a different pair of sunglasses and a leather jacket. It was a simple, but effective change.

“So,” AJ said, walking the stage. I heard his name screamed from all directions. “I have this little solo album coming out this fall.” The crowd screamed.

“This is my new single, Teenage Wildlife. Hope you enjoy.”

He launched into the song. I turned on my camera, keeping it on him at all times. I couldn’t help but wonder what Nick had up his sleeve.

I found out soon enough. As AJ launched into the chorus, a gigantic tiger, panda bear, and owl danced out on stage. I gasped.

For those who hadn’t seen AJ’s music video, they probably wouldn’t understand. I had seen it a couple times so I got the connection. In the video, AJ walks into a club where all of these teenagers are dancing dressed as animals. He has a dance-off with a tiger and his posse over a girl chipmunk (at least I think it’s a chipmunk). He wins the dance-off, but the tiger jumps on his back and, well, it’s just weird. The first time I saw the video all I could say was what the fuck? The second time I tried to apply a little psychology. When that didn’t work, I just laughed my ass off. Now I was watching it unfold live.

At first AJ didn’t notice, but when he did it was priceless. He tried to maintain composure, but he couldn’t help but start to laugh.

I could only assume that Nick, Howie, and Brian were in the costumes. I saw the tiger go off stage; the panda bear and owl danced around AJ, continuing to destract him and throw him off. I was so intent on catching that action that I didn’t see the tiger emerge until he was back in frame. He was carrying a pie loaded down with whipped cream. With a roar, he hit AJ smack in the face.

The next thing I knew AJ was on the tiger’s back. Whipped cream dripped off his face and onto the tiger costume. The song ended with just beats; AJ was so focused on smacking the shit out of the tiger that he was incapable of singing. I watched as the owl and panda bear pried AJ off of the tiger. All four headed backstage.

I ran as fast as I could, my camera still on. I made it backstage just as the owl tugged the tiger’s head off. Nick was laughing hysterically. AJ was wiping his face with a towel.

“What the fuck, man?” AJ said.

The owl yanked off his head; it was Brian. Panda bear Howie was last. Leigh helped him out of the costume quickly. Howie walked onstage, cool and collected for his solo.

“That was priceless,” Nick said. “We got you bad, dawg.” Rochelle unzipped Brian and he hopped out, the owl collapsing in a feathered puddle on the floor. Rochelle was smiling; I could tell she had been in on it.

AJ scooped a handful of whipped cream out of his hair. With just a moment’s pause he flung it at Nick. Nick ducked, hitting Brian square in the face.

“Hey!” Brian cried out, wiping the goo off his face.

AJ snickered and then turned to Nick.

“Payback, Carter,” he said, giving him the middle finger. “When you least expect it,” he added as he walked off to the bathroom.

I walked over to Nick, unzipping the tiger costume. He stepped out completely unfazed. He pressed his face close to the camera.

“Best part of the job,” he explained. He gaze a tiger-like growl and licked my camera lens. I shut off the camera.

“So?” Nick said. I had managed to keep a straight face, but I couldn’t last any longer. I grinned.

“That was absolutely priceless.”

Nick gave me a one handed hug, kissing me on my temple.

“I’d throw a thousand pies to see that grin,” he said. He headed to the bathroom to clean up.

As I watched him walk away, I couldn’t help but think that I would have given a thousand anythings if only I had met Nick first. Life for me was just like that pie…

Messy.

Chapter Twenty Seven - Missouri

The ride from Michigan to Missouri took 10 hours. We traveled nonstop; we had no day of rest between concerts. I rode on the dancer’s bus through the night, not daring to spend yet another night on Nick’s bus. The dancers were all very nice, but they loved gossip.

By the time the busses arrived at our destination, it was eleven o’clock. Sound check was at three. The venue promoter stood off to the side, a wide smile on his face as the guys descended from their busses.

“Welcome to the Midland,” he said. I looked at the venue and smiled. It was a beautiful old fashioned building. The lighted marquee stated in large letters “Backstreet Boys – Live Tonight.”

“Got to love our name in lights,” Nick said, leaning his arm across my shoulder. I smiled up at him.

“Back to the contacts?” Nick said. I nodded; he looked disappointed. “That’s too bad; I like the naughty schoolteacher look.”

“Shut up,” I laughed.

We headed inside. After a tour of the auditorium, we shuffled backstage; Nick looked around.

“So where shall we do it?”

My eyes widened. “What?”

“Where do you want to do it? Back here? The stage? The bathroom?”

My mind was in the gutter. I had a momentary image of Nick and me getting down on the stage. I smiled.

“Livvy?”

I looked at him and shook my head to clear my thoughts. “What are we doing?” I said.

“Your interview,” Nick said. “I worked all night on questions.” He took a folded sheet of paper out of his back pocket, waving it in the air.

I wrinkled my nose. I had almost forgotten.

“I got my questions too,” Brian said. He walked up, tapping his forehead. “They’re all up here.”

I sighed. Howie was playing “this little piggy” with James’ toes.

“Howie, did you write down some questions?”

Leigh laughed. “You’re talking to Mr. Organized. He has them neatly typed out and ready to go.”

Howie made an adorable sad puppy face. “I thought you liked my organization.”

Leigh cupped his face in her hands, planting a soft kiss on his lips.

“Si, senor.”

I glanced over at AJ. Rochelle had a bridal magazine and was pointing out things on several dog-eared pages. AJ looked overwhelmed.

“Hey AJ,” I called out. He looked up in gratitude. “Yeah?”

“Did you write out some questions to ask me?”

“Nope,” he admitted. “But I can wing it.”

“Well,” I said, biting my lip. I looked at Nick. He was folding his notes into a paper airplane. “I guess we can go out to the stage.”

“Perfect. It will kill time before we eat,” Brian said, rubbing his hands together. He led the way, the other guys followed. I trailed reluctantly behind.

We set up folding chairs on the stage. I was reminded of the Shape of My Heart video. Nick straddled the back of his chair, holding his notes out in front of him.

“Can I go first?” Nick said.

“No,” I said. “I’m saving you until last.”

“The best for last,” Nick amended.

“I’ll go first,” AJ said.

Brian took the camera from my hand. I raised an eyebrow.

“I was just going to set it on a tripod,” I told him. He shook his head.

“Naw that’s boring. This will make it more personal.”

I watched him fiddle with the settings.

“Are you zooming in on me?”

Brian grinned.

I tried to ignore the fact that the camera was trained right on me. Instead I turned to AJ.

“Ready when you are,” I said.

AJ tilted his head thoughtfully.

“What’s your worst habit?” he said.

I was in the process of cracking my knuckles. I stopped, blushing. “I guess it would be cracking my knuckles.”

“When’s your birthday?”

So far so good. Generic questions were easy. “July 2.”

“How long have you been a Backstreet Boys fan?”

I smiled. “Since 1998. Then I got a little crazy obsessive during Millennium.”

“What’s your favorite Backstreet Boys song?”

I had to think about that one. There were so many. I chewed my lip thoughtfully.

“I’m going to say my favorite song is I Still,” I said. “It’s one of my favorite music videos and I adore everything about the song.”

AJ looked over at Brian. “That’s all I got.”

“And CUT!” Brian yelled. His voice echoed through the empty hall. I saw him pause the camera.

“I’ll take Howie next,” I said, looking over at Brian. “Since we have such a good cameraman.”

Brian gave me a thumbs up.

“Okay,” Howie said. He took out a crisp white sheet of printer paper. I smiled.

“Is you could go anywhere in the world, where would you like to go?”

“Australia,” I said automatically.

“She wants to go down undah,” Nick said in a bad Australian accent. I rolled my eyes.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Blue,” I said.

“What’s been your favorite moment on the tour so far?”

Images of Nick kissing me while I sat on the bathroom sink flashed through my head. I resisted the urge to fan myself.

“I’d have to say getting to know you guys,” I admitted. “You four are way more than just a band. You’re a family.”

Howie looked down at his paper, smiling softly.

“You’re gonna make Howie cry,” Nick said teasingly.

“Shut up,” Howie said.

“Like I said, a family. And Nick’s the annoying youngest brother.”

Nick wrinkled his nose at me; I stuck out my tongue.

“Alright, last question,” Howie said. “Who was your favorite Backstreet Boy when you were a teen?”

I avoided Nick’s gaze. He had asked me that question once before and I had ignored him. I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat.

“Brian,” I admitted quietly.

“Ha! I knew it!” Brian shouted. I watched him pause the camera. He pointed at Nick.

“In your face!”

I groaned. “Can we move on? Brian, it’s your turn.”

Brian handed the camera to Howie, still gloating. Howie, a much calmer cameraman, crouched down, training the camera back on me.

“Question one.” Brian said, trying to act serious (and failing miserably). “What is your favorite ice cream topping?”

I looked at him like he was crazy. “Seriously? You think the fans want to know what my favorite ice cream topping is?”

“You said we could ask you questions. That’s mine,” Brian said, smiling mischievously.

I knew I wasn’t going to win the battle. I chanced a quick glance at Nick; I could see he was still stewing over my crush revelation. In an effort to divert his attention, I leaned forward with a smile, playing along with Brian.

“My favorite topping is whipped cream,” I said sweetly. I saw Nick’s focus return.

“That’s kind of a topping for your topping,” Brian complained.

“Fine. Hot fudge,” I amended.

“Okay, that’s better. Question two. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?”

“A teacher,” I said immediately. I could picture my little schoolroom set up in the corner of my bedroom.

“Alright teach, question three. Do you have any tattoos?”

“Nope,” I said. “I’m afraid of needles.”

“So no snakes or skulls for you,” Brian teased. “Last but not least, what is your favorite movie of all time?”

“Happy Gilmore,” I laughed.

I looked over at Howie; he paused the camera. By the time I looked back, Nick had already pushed Brian out of the interview chair.

“Ready?” Nick said, tapping his fingers on his paper.

“As ready as I’m going to be,” I said.

“Question one,” Nick said. He didn’t even glance at his paper. “Why Brian?”

Somehow I knew that was going to be his first question.

“How is that important?” I said. “That was ages ago.”

“It’s important. He was pasted all over your wall. Why him?”

If it was embarrassing admitting Brian was my favorite in the first place, it was more awkward having to explain why, especially since Brian seemed extremely interested in the answer. I looked at a spot high above Nick’s head.

“Well, you know,” I said motioning with my hand.

“No, I don’t,” Nick said sweetly.

“Well, I mean, he was cute, sweet, funny, and a country boy.”

“I was cute?” Brian said.

“You’re interview is over,” I said pointing at him. He held out his hands innocently.

“You’re still cute,” I said. Nick scowled.

“Second question?” I asked hopefully.

“Question two,” Nick said reluctantly. I had a feeling the Brian conversation wasn’t over by a long shot.

“What’s your favorite color of rose?”

“Yellow.”

“What type of underwear are you wearing right now?”

“We’re keeping this PG,” I reminded him. Nick smirked.

“I will take that as no underwear,” he said.

“Whatever floats your boat,” I countered, crossing my arms.

“Question four. Would you ever go out with someone famous?”

I looked at him, smiling.

“Yes, I would,” I said softly. He returned my smile.

“And which Backstreet Boy do you find incredibly sexy now?”

“You,” I said, laughing.

“I’d like you to say that a little more seriously,” Nick said.

I looked straight into the camera, deadpanning. “Nick Carter is the sexiest guy on the face of the earth. People should wear sunscreen around him because he is just that hot.”

“That’s better,” Nick said.

I looked over at Howie, motioning for him to press stop. I let out a relieved sigh. Howie handed me the camera, and smiled.

“That was fun,” he said.

“I much prefer having you guys in the hot seat,” I said, standing up.

As we walked backstage for an early dinner, Brian pranced around Nick.

“I’m Livvy’s favorite, I’m Livvy’s favorite.”

I rolled my eyes. It was going to be a long day.

Chapter Twenty Eight

“Nicky, don’t pout,” I said for the umpteenth time. “It’s really not that big of deal.”

“Ha,” Nick said, stabbing at a piece of watermelon. “That’s easy for you to say.”

I sighed.

“That was ten years ago,” I reminded him, placing a hand on his arm. “And it’s not like I ever knew you guys. It was just all physical.”

“Still,” Nick said. He held out a piece of cantaloupe. I plucked it off his fork and took a bite. “You thought he was sexy?”

“Let it go, Nick,” I said.

“Yeah, like Brian’s going to make that easy,” Nick said.

Brian had taken a plain white Hanes t-shirt and written “Livvy Loves Brian” in magic marker.

“You better not wear that to soundcheck,” I warned him. Brian smiled.

“Why not?”

I shook my head. Nick dumped our plates; I went to work transferring the interview files from the morning and readying the camera. The guys disappeared to get changed.

I was so engrossed in my work that I didn’t hear Nick sneak up. He sat down next to me. “Boo.”

I looked over. He wore an Ernie t-shirt, jeans, and baseball cap. I smiled.

“Cute shirt. But, you look like you should be wearing Oscar the Grouch instead,” I teased, tweaking his nose.

I saw Brian walk out. He was wearing his Bert hoodie. Nick followed my gaze.

“I bet you like Bert better,” Nick said, scowling.

“Nick!”

He pouted.

“Nick this is silly,” I complained. “What’s it going to take to make you stop thinking about this?” I asked.

“Welllll…”

I watched him take out his sheet of interview questions again. I raised an eyebrow.

“I had a few more questions that I wanted to ask,” he said sweetly. I made a face.

“It would make me feel better.”

“Fine,” I said holding up my hands in defeat. “But I’m not going back on camera,” I reminded him.

“Oh no, these are going to have to be off camera,” Nick warned. He stood up. “I’ll ask you them after sound check. My bus. Be there or be square.”

Uh-oh, I thought as he walked out onstage.

-----------------------------------------

I sat on the couch in Nick’s bus, waiting while he dealt with some rouge fans who had pounced on him before he could open the door. I cracked my knuckles nervously. Finally, the door creaked open.

“Ready or not, Livvy, here I come,” Nick sang. He walked over and stood in front of me, hands on hips.

“Let’s get it over with,” I said. “But I don’t want to hear any more whining about the Brian thing.”

He sat down next to me. “Deal.”

The sheet of paper reemerged; by this point it was folded and creased beyond recognition. My heart began to beat faster.

“Question one,” Nick said. His face was serious; he was all business. “What’s your favorite place to be kissed?”

My mouth went dry; my toes curled. I couldn’t help but think that anytime Nick kissed me anywhere was my favorite place. Hell, even when he kissed the top of my head he made me lose all track of time or thought.

“My neck,” I finally said.

I felt Nick lean closer. His lips grazed my neck gently.

“Like this?” he whispered.

“Mm,” I mumbled, my eyes fluttering closed.

He nibbled gently on the sensitive skin, then sucked gently. “Or like this?”

I dug my nails into the couch. “Mm-hmm.”

“Good. Question two,” he whispered softly, his lips not straying far from my neck. “When we make love, where do you want to do it?” His fingers trailed down my side. I shivered at the use of when rather than if.

“Everywhere,” I said, my breathing coming quicker. I heard him moan, his body slid closer to my own.

“About that underwear,” he said huskily. I turned slightly, my leg draping over his own. I took the paper from his hand and looked at it. Every question was sexual. I folded it up, throwing it on the table. My arms snaked around his neck. The angelic part of my mind reminded me nicely that I wanted to take it slow; the demonic part of my mind was focused on Nick’s masculine scent and the thought of him naked and all mine.

“You’ll just have to find out for yourself,” I replied coyly.

I met Nick’s lips hungrily. His good hand snaked under my shirt, his palm splaying out on my bare back before traveling around to my stomach and breasts. I broke our kiss momentarily as I brought his t-shirt over his head, tossing Ernie into regions unknown. I took a moment to savor his bare chest, tracing my fingers along every well defined plane.

I felt him unclasp my bra. With a smile at his one-handed technique, I tugged off my shirt, letting it fall to the ground. The bra soon followed.

“Oh Livvy,” Nick said, his eyes sparkling. I leaned back into the plush leather as he hovered over me. Our lips met again in a swell of passion. My hips arched as his hands slid down my waist and then under the heavy fabric of my jeans.

“A thong girl,” he said in approval, his lips still next to mine.

“Right now, I’d prefer us wearing nothing,” I said back, nibbling his bottom lip.

In a whirl of clothing and a delicious sense of anticipation, I devoured Nick in all his glory with hungry eyes. He began a trail of kisses down from my lips that brought about a slow agony of anticipation. My hands worked through his hair as he licked and nibbled his way down. I didn’t know how much longer I could wait.

“Nick,” I said in a heady breath. He looked up at me.

“I need you now.”

“Every good thing is worth the wait,” he explained. His face was flushed, his shoulders glistening with perspiration. I slid down into the couch a little more, simultaneously stroking his member with my fingertips. I felt his chest constrict, his breathing increasing even faster.

“Maybe you’re right,” he moaned, his head falling back. I continued his pleasure, watching him tense up even more. Finally, with a force of an animal, he grabbed my hands, gently pinning them about my head and kissing me hungrily. My heart beat in anticipation; any moment Nick and I would become one.

My legs wrapped around his waist, our lips locked in a way that I never wanted to breath independently again. I could feel him; the moment of truth was almost here…

A loud knock sounded on the bus.

“Nick?” Brian called out loudly. “Man, the concert’s starting in five minutes. Are you in there?”

Just like that, the magic was broken. Nick’s head fell on my chest.

“Nick?” Brian called out again.

“I’ll BE OUT!” Nick yelled out in frustration.

Brian didn’t call out again; he must have headed back inside. Nick looked at me, his eyes speaking volumes. I smiled.

“Saved by thousands of screaming fans,” I said sadly. Nick sat up; I followed.

“They’re not going to save you forever, Liv,” Nick said, standing up.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I’ve got to get ready,” Nick said.

“Maybe we can’t do what we want to do in five minutes,” I said sweetly. “But I think I can take care of your problem.” I pointed to Nick’s erection, pulling him back down on the couch.

I needed to let my sexual tension out; somehow pleasing Nick seemed to be the right choice.

I knew that I had tossed going slow out the window; but as Nick gave me a long kiss before running out on stage, I couldn’t help but hope that an uninterrupted night would come sooner rather than later.

Chapter Twenty Nine - Colorado

Any hope that Nick and I would be able to recreate our moment after the show was lost. A mad dash ensued to get everybody on board the busses as quickly as possible; our trip to Colorado would take fifteen hours and, once again, the sound check and concert would have to happen almost as soon as we arrived.

“Whose bright idea was it to schedule concerts in Missouri and Colorado back to back?” Nick grumbled.

“It’s not impossible,” Howie said, defending himself. “It just means that we don’t have time to be lazy. Plus everyone wanted more time in Vegas. We have to make up for that somewhere.”

Nick looked over at me. I arched in eyebrow.

“Well, you know what they say,” Nick said teasingly. “What happens in Vegas…”

I wrapped my arms around his waist, kissing his cheek.

“Hey Liv,” Andrea called from the dancer’s bus. “C’mere, I’ve got to show you something.

I backed away from Nick.

“Hurry,” he said. “I think the busses are going to take off in a few minutes.”

I nodded, my thoughts straying to him and me in his big, soft bed. The air around me seemed to grow warmer. With a dreamy sigh, I climbed aboard the bus.

“What’s up Andrea?”

Andrea proceeded to lay out three pictures on the table.

“What do you think?”

“They’re pretty. I said.

“Yes, but which one would make a good tattoo?”

At the sound of doors and compartments being closed, I chose quickly.

“Really?” Andrea said, wrinkling her nose. “I don’t know; it might be too purple.”

She launched into an analysis of each picture in turn. My hopes of enjoying a night in solitude with Nick flew out the window as the busses started up. I sank down on the couch by Andrea, sighing. After an hour of consultation, she made her tattoo decision.

“There’s a great tattoo parlor in Vegas,” Andrea explained. “I can’t wait!”

“Where are they playing in Vegas?” I asked. I didn’t recall it on my itinerary.

“Nowhere. We have two and a half days of pure relaxation,” she said happily. I smiled. No commitments meant that Nick and I might finally be able to steal away. And if we could, then…hopefully we’d be able to pick up what we started on the bus. With that thought I got ready for bed.

As I scooped my hair up into a ponytail, my phone rang. It was Nick.

“Hello?” I said, smiling.

“This sucks,” he complained.

“Good things are worth the wait,” I said. I didn’t believe it, but it sounded good.

“That would be fine, but, I’ve had a taste,” Nick said, his voice thick. “And I want more.”

Goosebumps danced along my arms.

“Can I tell you that we should take it slow?” I smiled.

“Seriously?” He sounded like someone who had gotten tube socks for Christmas instead of a video game.

“No.” I laughed.

“Good,” Nick said. “Because the ride’s started and you can’t jump off in the middle.”

After a few more minutes of playful banter, Nick got quiet.

“I really just wanted to call to say goodnight,” he admitted.

“Good night, Nicky,” I said, smiling.

“Good night, Livvy.”

------------------------------

We were thirty minutes away from the venue when we hit traffic. The busses were already behind schedule and being stuck in a standstill made it even worse. I checked my watch constantly. The walls of the bus seemed to be closing in. After only a mediocre night’s sleep, I wanted to get out on solid ground.

I stared at the window with a sigh. Even with the air conditioner on full blast, the temperature in the bus was rising quickly. I exchanged my t-shirt for a spaghetti strap tank top. As I was contemplating dunking my head into a bucket of ice, my phone vibrated.

It was a text message from Nick.

“Wanna Skype?”

I rolled my eyes, but turned on my laptop. After a quick exchange of text messages and information, Nick’s face came smiling at me through the magic of technology. I honestly didn’t think he could look any hotter; I was wrong. He wore a pair of reading glasses that made him look sophisticated and dangerous at the same time. Put the man in glasses and he could fry an egg on the sidewalk.

“Hi,” he said waving.

“Hi yourself,” I said with a smile. “Now you look like a sexy teacher.”

“Will you be my student?” he said suggestively. I folded my arms across my chest, shaking my head.

“I like that top,” he added, leaning closer to his screen. I swatted at my screen.

“It’s hot in here,” I explained. “I don’t have anything else to wear.”

“Well, you’d be cooler if you weren’t wearing a top at all,” Nick explained.

I looked around. Andrea was curled on up her bunk, a mist fan spraying her face.

“Keep it clean, Nick. The other girls aren’t far away.”

“Damn.”

“I think we’re going to be late for sound check,” I said, changing the subject. Nick glanced at his watch.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I can’t wait to get off the bus. Of course, it would have been worthwhile if you were here with me.”

“Well, I think fate has something against us,” I remarked.

“It’ll happen,” Nick said. I watched as he leaned back on the couch. “Not today, not tonight, but it’ll happen.”

I laughed. “Did your crystal ball tell you that?” I said teasingly.

“Nope,” he pushed up his glasses. “I had some time to think last night as I lay in bed thinking about you. When it happens it’s going to be special. So you’re just going to have to wait and let me surprise you.”

“I dunno,” I said, feigning annoyance. “If you keep me hanging too long I might have to switch my opinion on my favorite Backstreet Boy again.” I started laughing. Nick wrinkled his nose.

“That’s not funny,” he complained. “I had a dream last night about you and Brian. And let me tell you, the last thing I want to dream about is Brian’s pale ass.”

I continued to laugh. “You have a pale ass.”

“Yes, but it’s luscious.”

Just then the bus started moving at a normal speed. “With that, I’m cutting you off,” I told him.

“No Skype stripping?” Nick pouted.

“Bye Nick,” I said, blowing a kiss. He caught it as I broke our connection.

Twenty minutes later we finally pulled up to the venue. Andrea and I jostled to be the first ones out of the bus. My hair was sticking to my face and the air was oppressive.

“Ugh, I feel nasty,” Andrea complained.

“Me too,” I said. “When I think of Colorado, I think of snow. It must be 105 degrees out here.”

The crew was unloading equipment at a crazy pace. The 1stBank Center, which just opened in March, was an indoor venue. I thanked the air conditioning gods as we walked in and were blasted with cold air.

Nick went to get us some water. As I looked around, enjoying the differences and similarities of yet another stop, AJ pulled me aside.

“I need your help,” he whispered.

“With what?” I whispered back.

AJ smiled. “My revenge on Nick.”

I smiled mischievously. “I’m listening. What do you want me to do?”

“Just be my decoy.”

Chapter Thirty

“I don’t know about this AJ,” I said uncertainly.

“What could go wrong?”

I stared at myself in the mirror. AJ had given me clothes to put on. I was standing in a super-short leather mini skirt and what he called a shirt. It was as small as a handkerchief. I was afraid that with one sneeze the world would see all my assets.

“Who wears this kind of thing?” I said, tugging on the hem of the skirt.

“Those are Rochelle’s,” AJ said. It figured. Leave it to AJ to give a normal curvy girl model’s clothes to wear.

“AJ…”

“Listen, you won’t be on stage long,” AJ explained. “Just long enough to wheel this big box out on stage.” He pointed to a big silver box with a red bow on top.

The plan was that during PDA, AJ would sneak backstage and into the box. I would wheel it out, acting like I was surprising Nick. (sexy outfit and all). When Nick came over to open the box, AJ would spring out. After that, I didn’t know what was going to happen. AJ said I would get information on a need to know basis and that was all I needed to know.

“You promise you’re not going to do anything to break his other hand?” I asked.

“Scouts honor,” AJ said with a smile.

“Were you ever a Boy Scout?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Not exactly,” he admitted. I gave him a look. He feigned an innocent expression.

“You scare me, McLean,” I said. I looked at myself in the mirror once more. “I’m going to get changed.”

“But, we’re still on, right?” AJ said. I nodded.

AJ left and I quickly changed back into my tank top and jeans. I walked out of the bathroom and stashed my camera where I could reach it quickly. I wanted to at least capture part of the prank on film. I was so intent on my little hidey-hole that I didn’t hear Nick sneak up on me.

“What’s going on?” Nick asked. I jumped.

“Nothing!” I said, perhaps a little too quickly. He tilted his head. I gave him the biggest smile I could muster.

“So, Andrea told me we have no concert in Vegas,” I said, changing the subject. Nick shook his head.

“Nope. Every time we go on our U.S. tour we always take a few days to party it up in Vegas.” Nick tugged at my ponytail. “I’m especially looking forward to it this year.”

“Then I am too,” I said.

“There’s my Livvy!”

Without warning, I was picked up from behind. I let out a shriek. When my feet touched the ground I whirled around.

Brian stood there flexing; he had on the Livvy Loves Brian t-shirt again.

“Let it go Bri,” I said laughing. “Or I’m going to tell your wife.”

He just smirked. Nick punched his shoulder before heading onstage. With a wink, Brian took off the shirt right in front of me. He wore a tank top underneath.

“I’m going to frame this for Nick,” Brian explained, holding it up. “That way he can have this shirt forever.”

I rolled my eyes and walked out with Brian for the last sound check before a welcomed break.

--------------------------

That evening the temperature had, if anything, gotten even warmer. I shot some photos as they opened with Everybody. Nick found me kneeling down on the left hand side of the stage. He walked over and stood right in front of me, his good hand sliding down his stomach as he sang “Am I sexual?” I nodded, my eyes mentally undressing him. He gave a pelvic thrust, then ran off to the other end of the stage.

When We’ve Got it Goin’ On began, I slipped backstage. Quickly I changed into the skirt and top. I was just finishing shifting everything to cover my lady bits when AJ slipped backstage. PDA was just beginning.

“Ready?” he said. I nodded.

“As ready as I’m going to be.”

He climbed into the box; I affixed the lid. Taking a deep breath, I wheeled the box out towards the stage. I tried to ignore the fact that thousands of eyes were on my every move. I also tried not to think about my ass practically hanging out of the skirt.

Even though it was hot outside, the venue was nice and cool. I actually shivered slightly, noting a rush of air dance up my legs. Saying a quick prayer that the wardrobe malfunction Gods were taking the night off, I wheeled the box past Brian and to the middle of the stage.

Nick had his back to me; even when he turned it took him a moment to register my presence. His eyes widened, but he kept singing. Remembering AJ’s tips on “being sexy,” I smiled, putting my hand on my hip. I felt my bare skin; my mid-drift was exposed. I pretty much felt naked. AJ owed me big time. I crooked my finger, making a “c’mere” motion and pointed to the box.

He finished his part, pointed to himself and mouthed “for me?”

I nodded. He moved with the beat in my direction, his eyes raking over my entire body. I felt my stomach clench in anticipation.

When Nick reached me, he touched the box with his hand. I gave him a wink. His hand slipped under the lid; in a second he flipped it aside. While he was preoccupied, I hurried as fast as I could backstage to grab my camera. I turned around quickly, pressing the on button.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion; Nick leaned over, looking into the box. At the same moment AJ stood up. His arms were loaded down with water balloons.

“Oh shit,” Nick said, backing up quickly. His exclamation was piped through his microphone; the whole audience heard it loud and clear.

AJ was like a machine. He began pelting Nick with balloons as fast as he could. The first one bounced off him; Nick laughed. The second one hit its target perfectly; Nick’s coat was completely soaked. Nick tugged it off, ducking behind Howie. His smile slid off his face as he went into combat mode.

Meanwhile, Howie was trying desperately to finish the song. He sidestepped the direct trajectory of the next water balloon, leaving Nick exposed. It hit him square in the face. Nick growled in frustration; he shook his head like a dog, running towards Brian. As he sprinted across the stage, AJ hit him in the backside. Nick stumbled, running into Brian. They fell down like bowling pins.

By the time the song was completely over, the stage was covered in water. Nick was soaked; the girls in the audience were about ready to faint at the sight of his clothes clinging to him in all the right places.

While the crew went to work quickly cleaning the floor, Nick ran off stage. He spotted me right away. I had the camera still rolling; my shoulders shaking as I tried to control my laughter.

“You betrayed me,” he said. I could tell he wasn’t mad. He shook his head in my direction, pelting me with water. I jumped back.

“I couldn’t resist,” I said smiling. Nick quickly stripped down to his boxers, throwing on another set of clothes that someone, most likely AJ, had laid out in anticipation of the attack.

“I’ll forgive you on one condition,” he said, looking my way as he zipped up his jeans.

“And what is that?”

“You keep that smoking hot outfit.”

He ran his hand along my bare midriff as he ran back out to the cheers and screams of the crowd. With the lingering feeling of his fingertips on my stomach, I went to change. Before I headed back out with my camera, I smiled, tucking the clothes in my duffel.

Somehow I had the feeling they might come in handy for a future rendezvous.

---------------------------

That night I cuddled next to Nick on his couch. A big bowl of popcorn rested on Nick’s leg as Happy Gilmore played on DVD.

“So,” Nick said, tossing a kernel of popcorn and catching it midair.

“So?”

“I was talking to my brother Aaron today before the concert,” Nick said. “and he’s meeting us down in Vegas.”

I looked up at him. “Really?”

“Yup,” Nick grinned. “He’s bringing his girlfriend. I haven’t seen him in months, and besides, I want him to meet you.”

My stomach did a flip flop.

“And why’s that?” I asked, biting my lip.

“Because,” he said, tugging playfully at my hair. “I’m kinda hoping that you’ll be around awhile, and I want my family to get to know you.”

I looked at him surprised. Nick Carter, the man who shied away from commitment, was actually implying what sounded like a long term relationship.

“And what do you know about me, Mr. Carter?” I asked demurely.

“Well,” he stretched out his legs in front of him. “I know you have a good sense of humor, that you’re smart, you like the same types of food and movies I do, and you’re one hell of a kisser.”

“Not bad,” I said with a laugh.

“What I don’t know,” he said. “is much about your family.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

I sat up a little, taking a handful of popcorn. I tossed one in the air like Nick, it bounced off my nose. I tried again with the same result. On the third try, I placed it directly in my mouth.

“Well,” I said, after chewing thoughtfully. “I’m an only child, my parents have been married thirty years, and I have never lived in any other city than the one I was born in.”

“When I visit your parent’s house I’m not going to see Brian posters in your old room, right?” he said seriously. I laughed.

“No, it’s a computer room now,” I said. “All you’ll see is dozens of pictures of me and a ton of pictures of my mom’s dogs.” I paused. “You want to visit my parent’s house?”

Nick looked at me like the question was a no-brainer.

“Well, that would be kind of nice,” Nick said. “I’m hoping to develop this relationship. Of course, if you just want to love me and leave me…”

“No!” I said, shaking my head. “It’s just that it all seems so surreal. I’m having a hard time picturing you standing in my parent’s living room,” I explained.

“Well, I’ll admit I’ve only met the parents of two of my former girlfriends,” Nick said. “And that was under duress. But, I’ve never quite felt like this before. There’s just something about you.”

“I’m nothing special,” I said quietly. He touched my face.

“I beg to differ.” He kissed me softly, wrapping me in his arms. I moved the popcorn bowl to avoid disaster. With my head on his chest, we continued watching the movie in comfortable silence. Afterwards, in a sort of silent communication, we shuffled off to bed. My body melted into the mattress. Nick leaned over, kissing my closed eyes.

“Good night,” he whispered. I opened my eyes slightly.

“Night, Nick,” I said. I fell silent for a couple of seconds, then looked at him. “Hey Nick?”

“Yes?” he yawned, his head sunk deep into his feather pillow.

“When you said it will happen, did you mean…”

“Vegas?” he finished. I nodded. He chuckled, tucking the sheet up to my chin.

“I’m not telling.” He reached over, turning off the light. In the darkness I listened to the sound of his breathing. I kicked my leg in frustration.

“All I’ll say,” he finally said, his voice breaking through the darkness. I could almost see him grinning. “Is get plenty of rest tonight.”

Chapter Thirty One - Nevada

I had always pictured Las Vegas in the evening, the whole city alive with lights and music and noise. After enjoying an early lunch of Cheerios with Nick (in which he tried to get several round O’s down my shirt by using his spoon as a catapult), we felt the bus come to a halt. Nick leaned over and looked out the window.

“Viva Las Vegas!”

I looked out. Vegas in the daytime just seemed, I don’t know, like any city. Except this one had a pyramid. That was kind of cool.

“We’re staying at the Bellagio,” Nick said, gesturing out the bus window. I stared out and up in awe.

“It’s beautiful,” I said, admiring the beautiful architecture and fountains.

“It’s got everything,” Nick said. “Restaurants, gambling, golfing, Cirque De Soleil,” he explained. He picked up my duffel bag.

“And very nice rooms,” he added, taking my hand. I smiled.

We stepped off the bus. A concierge was already standing outside of the door, a luggage rack waiting. Nick carried our duffel bags in, leaving the rest of the luggage for the rack.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Rochelle said, jogging up to me. She was also admiring everything.

“You’re going to love it,” AJ said, pressing her close to his side. “Penthouse, baby.”

I looked at Nick. “Did you get a penthouse suite?” I asked.

Nick’s eyes sparkled. “We got a penthouse suite,” he amended, pointing to himself and me. I grinned.

Once inside, the guys headed up to a private VIP counter. Each received a key that allowed access to a special elevator that only went up to the penthouse suites. The Bellagio didn’t mess around; no keycards here.

“Shall we?” Nick asked, dangling the key in front of me. I nodded.

We rode up with Brian. I felt bad for him; without Leighanne and Baylee I couldn’t help but think he must be lonely. Even so, he smiled, bouncing on his heels.

“We playing golf, Nick?”

“Tomorrow,” Nick said. “I have my own plans tonight.” I felt Nick’s gaze on me.

Brian smirked. “Bom chicka wah wah,” he sang. I blushed.

Nick smacked him in the arm with a duffel bag.

“Ow! Okay, change of subject. When’s Aaron getting here?” Brian asked, rubbing his arm.

“He’ll be here tonight. I thought we could all go out to dinner and hit the club for a little bit and then…I think I’ll turn in early.”

“Somehow I don’t think you’ll be sleeping,” Brian teased. I heard another soft “Bom chicka wah wah” and felt the tips of my ears turn red.

“How’s Baylee’s karate classes going?” I said in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

“Good. He’s going to kick his dad’s butt when he gets a little bigger,” Brian admitted. “I think I need to enroll in some taekwondo or something.”

The elevator stopped at the 31st floor. Brian got off.

“See you tonight for dinner,” he said. “Where we eatin’?”

“Prime Steakhouse,” Nick called before the doors closed again. The elevator stopped again at the 32nd floor.

“This is our stop,” Nick said, stepping off, our bags slung over his shoulder. I followed. He unlocked the door with the same key he used in the elevator. His hand on the knob, he paused, looking at me apologetically.

“I’d like to carry you in, but…” he held up his cast.

“That’s okay,” I said with a laugh. I ducked underneath his arm into the penthouse.

If I was in awe of the outside of the Bellagio, I was even more enchanted with the inside. The penthouse was huge. We were standing in the entertainment lounge. I walked past a wall-mounted flat screen TV and plush leather couches into the bedroom. The focal point of the room was a magnificent king size bed. I ran my hands over the sheets. Silk.

The smell of fresh flowers enchanted my senses; all varieties of flowers in crystal vases were strewn through the entire suite.

“Check out the bathroom,” Nick said, taking my hand. I stumbled slightly, laughing. I gladly followed him, giving a little “Oh!” as I took it all in. I could have lived in that bathroom. It was split into a his and hers bath complete with a steam shower for two and …a whirlpool tub.

“Want to take a bath?” Nick said teasingly. He made a motion to indicate scissors; I elbowed him gently in the stomach.

“This is heaven,” I said, twirling around in a slow circle. Nick grabbed me mid-turn, kissing me with a hunger that surprised me.

“I packed that outfit I wore on stage last night,” I said huskily. Nick grinned, pulling me even closer.

“When we get back up here tonight I want you to wear it,” he said, his hands sliding over my rear. “Just so I can take it off. With my teeth.”

I gasped slightly; the expression of my face seemed to amuse him. With a little growl he began to nip at my neck. My head fell back; I laughed.

“This is going to be the best day ever,” I said with a sigh of contentment. “I can’t tell you how much I need this right now.”

“We’re just getting started,” Nick said. He checked his watch. “Which reminds me, I think a little shopping is in order for tonight. Let’s go.”

-------------------------------

“It’s perfect,” Nick said an hour later, reclining in a plush velvet chair.

I stood in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection. I wore a beautiful dark blue dress with a plunging neckline. I picked up the price tag; my eyes widened.

“Ha! It’s more than my house payment back home,” I said, dropping the tag. “I’m almost afraid to move in it now.”

“How’s everything going over here?” a saleswoman asked, smiling primly. Nick looked up at her; I swear in a previous life he was a snake charmer. I saw her properness melt away and she tossed her hair flirtatiously. Nick seemed oblivious. His head turned back to me.

“Doesn’t she look fantastic?” he said, gesturing at my reflection in the mirror. I shook my head.

“Beautiful,” the saleswoman assured him; I could almost smell the desperation for a sale. I began to shuffle off to the dressing room.

“We’ll take it,” I heard Nick say. I twirled around.

“What? No we won’t,” I corrected.

“Yes we will,” Nick said sweetly. “You can wear it to dinner tonight.”

“So I can spill ketchup on a 900 dollar dress?” I guffawed.

“You won’t spill ketchup,” Nick said laughing.

“I got my hair stuck in a bathtub,” I said, my hands flying through the air. It was my second worst habit; talking with my hands when I got flustered.

Nick looked at the saleslady; he was having way too much fun seeing me squirm. “Like I said, we’ll take it.”

Twenty minutes later I walked out of the boutique, the dress hanging over my shoulder in a garment bag.

“You’re ridiculous,” I complained.

“No, I’m not,” Nick countered. He took the bag gently from me.

“Well, can I at least get you something to wear tonight?” I said. He shook his head.

“C’mon,” I complained. “I can’t buy you a suit, but at least let me get you something.”

I walked into the men’s boutique. Nick followed behind me reluctantly.

“You don’t have to do that,” Nick complained. I stuck out my tongue.

“Very mature,” Nick said.

“You’re the one that was trying to throw Cheerios down my shirt this morning!” I reminded him in a loud whisper. The sales clerk gave us both a look.

I wandered around the displays. I couldn’t believe that people spent so much money for one little article of clothing. I was just about ready to give up when I found a dark blue tie that matched my dress perfectly.

“You can wear this to dinner tonight,” I said happily, holding it up. Nick took it from me and studied it.

He started to shake his head, but I snatched it from him and walked up to the counter. It was a done deal.

“You know, Nick,” I said sweetly as we headed back up to the room to change for dinner. “This tie has multiple purposes.”

He looked at me. I could almost see his dirty thoughts flashing through his mind. “Oh really?”

I took the tie out, touching the silk. I smiled up at him

“Does this have anything to do with tonight?” he asked. I watched him run his tongue over his lips.

“Mm-hmm,” I said.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Nick asked hopefully.

“If you’re thinking about a little restraint and whipped cream, then yes,” I said. The elevator doors opened, I strutted past him, waving the tie in the air. I listened for his footsteps beside mine, but it was silent. I turned around and broke out laughing.

He was kneeled down in the elevator, his eyes heavenward.

“Thank you God,” he said, his hands folded. “I am a lucky, lucky man.”

And I was a lucky woman, I thought to myself. Any girl that had a chance to tie Nick Carter up and make him into her very own ice cream sundae was one lucky girl.

It was fitting we were in Las Vegas because I knew that in a few hours I would be the biggest winner in Vegas. My jackpot was Nick.

Chapter Thirty Two

“I should go check on him,” Leigh said, checking her watch. Howie placed his hand on her arm.

“No, he’s fine,” he said gently.

The Prime Steakhouse was an adult only restaurant. With a recommendation from the hotel staff, Howie hired a nanny to watch James for the night. Leigh was a nervous wreck.

I, on the other hand, felt like a princess sitting at the table. My legs were smooth, my hair was cooperating, and I couldn’t help but feel like a million bucks in the dress.

And then there was Nick. As I got ready in the bathroom, primping every strand of hair, Nick had gotten dressed in the bedroom. When he stepped into the bathroom I about had a heart attack. He had changed into a cream colored suit, the dark blue tie bringing out the color in his eyes. It was a startling contrast from his sweats, t-shirts, and blue jeans. Even during their performances, the guys only wore “half-suits,” dressing them down to make them casual. But this, this was the real thing.

I kept glancing over at him as we ate dinner. The filet mignon melted in my mouth like butter. Finally, Nick caught my gaze before I could turn away. I just wasn’t fast enough.

“Ketchup?” he asked, smiling. His eyes focused on my cleavage.

“No, I don’t need ketchup,” I said, laughing.

“Aren’t they cute?” AJ teased.

“Bom chicka wah wah,” Brian sang out.

Nick looked around for what I could only assume was something to throw. I placed my hand on his arm.

“Not tonight,” I said softly. He looked at me sheepishly. “Don’t want to get kicked out?”

“No,” I said with a smile. Nick returned the smile, then checked his watch. We had sat at the table waiting for Aaron for 45 minutes before we finally ordered. Now we were halfway through dinner.

“This is ridiculous,” Nick complained. “Aaron should be here by now.”

“Did someone say my name?”

I looked up to see Aaron hovering to Nick’s right. A girl who I assumed was his girlfriend, stood behind him. Nick leapt out of his seat, crushing his brother in a bear hug.

“About time!” he complained.

“Sorry about that,” Aaron said, returning the embrace. He didn’t really look sorry. “Maile and I were doing some last minute things.”

Nick introduced me to both Aaron and Maile. I shook their hands. I had loved Aaron Carter; he had been such a cute little kid. Now, he seemed so skinny and gaunt. Aside from that, he looked so young. Maile looked even younger. Aaron held out a chair for her, then sat in the seat unoccupied to Nick’s right. He pointed to each guy in turn, making introductions for Maile’s sake.

“And this,” he said proudly. “Is my bride-to-be.”

Congratulations came from the entire table, except for Nick. I saw a change in his face. Adopting his big brother stance, he studied his brother thoughtfully.

“What were you guys doing at the last minute?” he asked casually, sawing a huge chunk off his steak. Aaron swooped in and stole a fry.

“Well,” Aaron said, sharing a secret smile with Maile. “We didn’t just come to Vegas to see you,” he explained. “We’re getting married. Tonight.”

Nick choked hard. My eyes widened. I handed him a glass of water and began patting his back. After a few minutes of hacking and several sips of water, Nick sat back. He didn’t look happy. Obviously his suspicions were confirmed. Bride-to-be didn’t just mean fiancée; it meant ready to sprint down the aisle.

“Can we talk?” Nick said, pushing back his chair. It was more of a command rather than a question. Aaron stood up reluctantly. I watched Nick grab his sleeve, pulling him into a secluded corner. Trying not to seem too nosey, I stole quick glances in their direction. They seemed to be arguing. Nick’s hands were flying a mile a minute; I guess when he got angry he talked with his hands too. Aaron was glaring at him, puffing out his chest and making similar hand motions.

After five minutes, they sat back at the table. I could see the muscles tense in Nick’s jaw. He took another stab at his steak, chewing viciously.

"So, Olivia,” Aaron said, smoothing a napkin across his lap. He glanced at the menu. “How do you like living with these guys?”

“They’re great,” I said, smiling. “You have a wonderful brother.”

I saw a similar tension set in his jaw. “Yeah.”

“So Maile, how old are you?” I said kindly. She was sitting there in silence; she looked extremely nervous.

“Nineteen,” she said quietly. I saw a large engagement ring on her finger.

“How did Aaron propose?”

At this, she brightened. “He took me to see Alice in Wonderland. He proposed during the movie.”

Nick snorted, Aaron glared in his direction. Nick raised his glass of water to his mouth; I saw him roll his eyes.

“How cute,” I said. "That was a really great movie, too." She smiled at me gratefully.

The rest of the dinner fell into semi-awkwardness. Leigh kept looking at her watch; Howie kept assuring her everything was fine. A lot of groping was going on at AJ’s end of the table. Brian sat text messaging on his phone.

“Alright,” Nick finally said, wiping his mouth. Aaron had just gotten his food; he was eating as if he had not another care in the world.

“Shall we go clubbing? I’m switching this suit coat for a leather jacket and I’m ready to go,” he said.

“We’re going to bow out,” Howie said apologetically, standing. “I think we’re going to check on James and maybe just stay in. But, we’re doing golf tomorrow, right Nick?”

“Yup,” Nick said. Leigh stood, looking relieved. I couldn’t blame her; if James was mine, I wouldn’t want to leave him out of sight either.

“We’re game,” AJ said, indicating himself and Rochelle.

“Me too,” Brian said, tucking his phone in his pants pocket.

Nick looked at Aaron. Aaron slowly looked up at him.

“I’ll meet you there,” he said quietly.

We headed out of the restaurant. Everyone made a quick stop back to their room to “dress down” a little before heading out. Considering how low my dress was, I figured I couldn’t really get “down” any more. I sat on the bed as Nick shrugged into his leather jacket.

“Is everything okay?” I asked. He sighed.

“I’m not going to let it ruin our night,” he said. I raised an eyebrow.

“That’s not what I asked,” I said gently. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror, then he turned back to me.

“Are you going to Aaron’s wedding tonight?” I asked. I assumed that was the reason for the tension; I was right.

“I’ve talked him out of it,” Nick said. He sat beside me. “That damn kid hasn’t got his head on straight. I don’t know what he’s thinking. He proposed to her just months ago. They haven’t even known each other that long. Plus, I don’t know how he can get married and not want the whole family here,” Nick explained. “Even with a family as crazy and dysfunctional as ours, it doesn’t seem right.”

“I agree,” I said. Nick’s shoulders relaxed. He placed a hand on my knee, caressing gently with his thumb. I leaned forward and kissed him gently. The action seemed to melt some of his bitterness away.

“Let’s go,” he said taking my hand. “The sooner we go, the sooner we’ll get back here.”

We both looked at the bed. I felt a delicious warmth spread through my body.

We meet AJ, Rochelle, and Brian in the VIP lobby and walked down the strip to a nightclub not far from the Bellagio. The sun had set; Vegas was looking exactly as I had pictured it. The dark sky didn’t seem so dark with trillions of flashing lights coming from all directions.

“Aaron said they’d be here as soon as they finished dinner and changed,” Nick said as we walked into the club. The drum of bass poured from every nook and cranny. “Wanna dance?”

“Sure,” I said. He looked surprised. I giggled flirtatiously, tugging him out on the dance floor. I had already decided that tonight I wasn’t going to hesitate. I was going for broke.

After his initial surprise, he took the lead, directing me out to the floor amongst the grinding bodies. I felt totally at ease as we fell into the song; perhaps the long hours on the Masquerade set had broken through my can’t and won’t barrier.

Time seemed a blur. I caught a glimpse of AJ and Rochelle on the dance floor. Brian was in the lounge, happily chatting away. Aaron and Maile were nowhere to be found.

“C’mon,” Nick finally said, pulling me in the direction of the VIP lounge. I was grateful; my feet were beginning to hurt in my strappy sandals. We wove through the crowd and slid into the booth Brian occupied.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Brian said. Nick seemed to recognize the guy Brian had been chatting with. Nick gave me a quick introduction. I smiled and nodded my head in acknowledgement.

“Have you seen Aaron?” Nick asked Brian. Brian shook his head.

“Naw, I figured he would be hanging around you,” Brian explained.

The minutes passed. I could tell Nick was slipping deeper into protective older brother mode.

“I’m going to go look around again,” Nick said. “You want me to bring you back anything?”

“I’ll take a Diet Coke,” I said. He gave my hand a squeeze as he stood up.

“Bring me back one too,” Brian called. Nick gave him the thumbs up.

“He’s really worried about Aaron,” I said, propping my chin on my hand.

“Well, Aaron doesn’t have such a good track record lately,” Brian said. “It kind of reminds me of Nick a few years back. He jumped from relationship to relationship, he became unreliable, and then there was the drugs and alcohol. I think Nick sees it repeating in Aaron and it’s killing him.”

I sighed sadly. It was hard for me to picture Nick that way. Sure, I knew about his past. I had seen the pictures of him with Paris Hilton; I had even seen video from TMZ of him walking out of night clubs trashed. Even so, I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

“Don’t worry,” Brian said, misinterpreting my facial expression for one of worry. “The day Nick got diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, he became the Nick that I grew up with. He’s loving life too much now to fall back. You just sweeten the deal.”

I looked at Brian and smiled. “You really think so?”

Brian nodded. “I know so. You are always on his mind. Kind of annoying really.”

I smacked Brian’s arm.

“Ouch! Between you and Carter I’m gonna have a bruise.”

Just then I saw Nick hurrying back to the table, juggling two drinks in his good hand. I stood up, taking the cups from him. I handed one to Brian.

“Livvy, I’m going to have to go,” Nick explained in a rush.

“Go where?” I asked.

“Aaron. I bumped into him and he reminded me that Maile can’t come in here; she’s only nineteen. Aaron said they were just going to go back to their hotel and watch movies, but I don’t believe it. He was wearing way too nice of shirt.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” I said. Nick shook his head.

“I’d rather you get to know my family when we’re not tearing each other’s heads off,” he explained. “I have a feeling this might get ugly. But, I won’t be long.” He pulled me towards him, kissing me hard.

“I’ll meet you back in the room,” he assured me, handing me the key. “I’ll get another key from the concierge desk. I expect you waiting up for me.”

“Absolutely,” I said. “I couldn’t sleep if I tried. But, don’t be long,” I added, tugging on his tie. He got the innuendo.

“I won’t,” he said, already walking backwards. “By the time you finish your drink and head back to the hotel I should be on my way. I want to get the sundae started.”

His eyes sparkled; I watched him jog off and sank back down next to Brian.

“Here’s to life around the Carter’s,” Brian said raising his glass in a mock toast. I shook my head but mimicked the action, clinking my glass to his.

“I’ll tell you one thing,” Brian added. “It’s never boring.”

I took a big sip of my drink. Half of my mind was on Nick’s dedication to his brother and the other half of my mind was already up in the bedroom.

As I took another sip, I prayed that time would hurry up.

Little did I know that I would wake up the next morning in the hospital with no recollection of time or of the events after Nick’s goodbye kiss. Cruel fate had worked its hand one more time.

Chapter Thirty Three

The Events of the Night After Leaving the Club As Told By Nick

I felt like a total jackass leaving Livvy at the club. This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go; we should have been leaving the club together. Then after a night of wild, tied up, passionate monkey sex, I could have woken up with her in my arms and do it all over again.

Instead, I was chasing my idiot brother around Las Vegas to make sure he didn’t screw up his whole life. Some might say that I was butting in where my nose didn’t belong; to those people I say a big “fuck you.”

I had sat quietly by too long. Aaron had been going downhill for years. Unfortunately, for most of that time I was falling right down with him. Now that I finally had my act together, it was time to help Aaron do the same. I didn’t want him to experience the same fear I did. I recalled the days where my chest tightened up so much I could barely breathe; to cope I did more and more cocaine until the pain went away. Aaron had all the classic signs. I knew his drug of choice wasn’t crack; I feared that the track marks I saw on his arms signaled much, much worse.

As I stood outside the club, I was faced with a big problem. Las Vegas was the wedding chapel capital of the world. If Aaron had lied to me (which I would almost bet my life on it), he and Maile could be saying their “I-Do’s” in front of an overweight Elvis impersonator anywhere in the area at that very moment.

Even though I knew it was fruitless, I tried calling him. My attempt resulted in an instant connection to his voicemail. I slammed my phone shut; I was furious.

“Oh my gawd, are you Nick Carter?”

I turned to see a Pam Anderson look alike gawking at me. Her friend looked like Lucy Liu.

“Er,” I said. The last thing I needed was to be slowed down by a couple of girls that I wouldn’t give the time of day.

“You are, aren’t you? Julie, how cool is this? First we see Aaron Carter and now Nick!”

Now they had my attention. Pasting on my best smile, I walked closer to them.

“My brother’s here?” I said. “I haven’t seen him in forever. Do you know where he went?”

“Maybe,” the girl (who I assumed was Julie) said. She tilted her head, batting her fake eyelashes.

“I’d be really grateful,” I said. I tried to mask my annoyance by laying on an extra layer of charm. I sounded so sweet I was giving myself cavities.

“Well, if you promise to come back and dance with us, I think we might know where he went.”

Even though it was a promise I wouldn’t keep, I nodded. “Absolutely. How could I turn down two beautiful ladies?” I asked. I made a point to blatantly check them out. They both smelled strongly of a Britney Spears perfume; it was overwhelming. My mind immediately went to Livvy; she always smelled like warm snickerdoodle cookies. I was falling bad.

“Well, he and this girl went down there,” Julie said, snapping me out of my reverie. “It looked like they went into the wedding chapel, but it was probably the bar next to it, Cantina.”

“Oh this is awesome. He’s going to be so surprised,” I said. It wasn’t a lie; he would be surprised. Just not in a good way.

“Save a dance for me!” I called over my shoulder as I headed quickly down the strip.

I found Catina; it was right next door to Aladdin Wedding Chapel. Hoping that the girls’ tip was reliable, I walked into the chapel.

The place reminded me more of a funeral parlor than a wedding chapel; it was wall to wall flowers. A little old lady who looked about one hundred was dwarfed by the massive desk.

“Did you need some help, deary?” she croaked.

“Have you seen two young kids? One’s a blonde guy. He looks like me except he’s thinner in the face. The girl is shorter than him, shoulder length dark blonde hair.”

“Oh, yes. They came in here,” she said, nodding.

“Are they still here?”

I hoped I wasn’t too late.

“Oh no,” she said, shaking her head. “They thought we did Disney themed weddings. They were misled by our name.”

“Do you know where they went?” I said. Only my brother would think a place called Aladdin Wedding Chapel would be run by Mickey Mouse.

“I suggested Bon Mel Ami Wedding Chapel,” she said. “They said something about wanting a place with fewer flowers.”

I asked for directions to Bon Mel Ami. Leaving her to ponder the idea of too many flowers, I headed farther down the strip. When I found Aaron, I was going to kill him.

The Bon Mel Ami Wedding Chapel was busier than Aladdin Wedding Chapel. They had flowers, but they were tastefully done. I looked around at couples milling around. I worked my way up to the counter. A gentlemen in a nicely tailored suit was taking down names. After taking a booking he would give a couple a beeper that vibrated when it was their turn. It reminded me of waiting for a table at a restaurant.

How romantic, I thought to myself.

“May I help you?” the gentlemen said, interrupting my thought.

“Yeah,” I said. I went into the description of Aaron. The guy broke into a smile.

“Oh yes, number 65. Let me buzz them.”

At that moment I was grateful for the amount of people in the room. Aaron didn’t see me until I was within choking range. I pounced on him, grabbing him by the back of his dress shirt.

“Hey! What the---“ he sputtered. I dragged him outside before he could utter a complete sentence. Maile followed, but hung back, staying just inside the building.

“What the fuck are you doing, you little shithead?” I yelled. I gave him another good shake before letting him go. He stumbled back, anger etched across his face.

“I’m getting married,” Aaron said.

“That’s not a good idea,” I said, my voice laced with venom.

“Why, because you told me not to? I’m not a little kid Nick and you’re not my father.”

I looked closer at my little brother. His eyes were unfocused and he seemed to be sweating.

“Aaron, what are you on?” I said quietly.

“What? Nothing. I just want to get married and since someone wouldn’t stand up for us, you’re officially not invited.”

He began to walk back to the door. I grabbed his arm and swung him around. I missed the days when he was much shorter than me; we were almost eye to eye.

“Aaron, you need help,” I said. “Please, don’t do this. You’re high or upped on something and you’re not thinking rationally. Mom and Angel would be heartbroken that they weren’t here. And what about Leslie and Bobbie Jean?”

Aaron just laughed. He wiped his face on his sleeve; his nose was running.

“Why are you even here, man?” he asked.

“I just explained why!” I said impatiently. Without thinking I hit my good hand against my cast. Pain ricocheted through my fingers; I cursed.

“Dude, the roofies didn’t work? I thought those would at least keep you out of my hair until tomorrow,” Aaron said. He wiped his face again. He was beginning to breath heavier; his chest noticeably rose and fell.

“What the fuck are you talking about Aaron?” I said. “What roofies?”

“The ones I put in yours and your girlfriend’s drinks,” Aaron said. “I figured you’d be much more pleasant after a night of drug induced fucking.”

My blood ran cold.

“You,” I said slowly. “You laced those drinks with date rape drug?” My voice cracked; bile backed up in my throat. I thought I was going to be sick.

Aaron laughed. “What’s the big deal? You needed something to loosen you up. You’ve got a stick up your ass. C’mon man, admit it. You were a lot cooler when you were doing smack.”

“One of those drinks wasn’t for me,” I said. My heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to fly out of my chest.

It was for Brian.

At the moment I didn’t care what Aaron did; he could get married, he could shoot up. I took off down the strip, feeling as if I had sunk into a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from.

My first stop was the club. After pushing and shoving my way through I confirmed that they weren’t there. I spotted AJ and grabbed his arm.

“Have you seen Livvy?” I said. I gasped for air; my side hurt.

“Yeah,” AJ said. “She said she wasn’t feeling so hot so Brian took her back to the hotel.”

“How was Brian?” I asked.

AJ arched an eyebrow. “Fine. Why?”

I didn’t waste time to explain. Yelling a quick ‘thanks,’ I sprinted towards the Bellagio. After a quick stop at the VIP concierge desk I had another key to the penthouse. The elevator seemed to climb with deliberate slowness.

The second the doors opened to the 32nd floor, I was out, my hand on the knob. I almost forgot to breathe; I had a gut feeling, and it wasn’t good. The door knob turned without the need of my key; it was a bad sign.

I pushed open the door. The entertainment lounge was completely dark. I walked in, turning on a small lamp.

Clothes were strewn everywhere. I recognized some of the articles; the implication made my head spin. As I walked closer to the bedroom I listened for any sound; all around me was nothing but silence. The door stood slightly ajar.

I pushed the door open farther. My toe kicked a very white, very masculine sneaker.

The owner of the sneaker was naked and unconscious in bed, laying next to a very naked, also unconscious Liv.

It was Brian.

I walked over to the bed slowly; trying to convince myself I would wake up any moment. Brian was breathing normally, but was definitely not conscious. With my testosterone flaring and my rationality out the window, I couldn’t help it; I hit him hard. Feeling no better I looked at Liv.

Her coloring didn’t look good; she had a gray palor. Placing my fingers on her neck I checked her pulse. It was extremely slow.

Throwing a sheet over both of them so as not to be plagued with the declaration of the deed that was done, I dialed 911. After being assured that I’d have assistance in moments I stumbled into the bathroom to throw up.

Fate seemed to have purposely kept Livvy and I apart several times before; but this…

This was incomprehensible.

At the moment I had never hated anyone more than my brother.

Chapter Thirty Four

The Aftermath – As Told By Olivia

When I opened my eyes, I was completely disoriented. The lush walls of the hotel were nowhere to be seen; a white sterile wall was directly in my line of vision. I moaned; I felt like I had been held underwater for a long length of time and was just now able to come slowly to the surface.

“She’s waking up,” I heard a voice say softly to my right. At the moment I felt too weak to turn my head.

Even with my contacts in, things were slightly blurry. The white wall disappeared; it was replaced with Nick’s face, leaning over me.

“Liv?” I felt his hand cover mine. “Liv, can you hear me?”

“Where am I?” I croaked. My throat felt like it had been cut by razor blades.

“You’re in the hospital,” he said quietly. I blinked in confusion.

“What happened?”

An awkward silence hung in the room. From my right, I heard a chair being pushed backwards. I saw Brian walk out. I looked back at Nick.

He looked horrible. His leather jacket was draped on a chair in the corner of the room. He was still wearing the clothes from the night before; the blue silk tie was almost completely undone; his shirt sleeves were rolled to his elbows. His eyes were red; it looked like he had been crying.

“What happened?” I asked again. I brought my hand to my throat. I followed an IV from my hand to a large pump. I looked at him again; I was completely confused and completely scared.

He sank down into the chair vacated by Brian. Taking my hand, he looked down. Every little motion seemed to wipe the energy from him. I had never seen him like this.

“It’s my fault,” he said, his voice breaking. I felt a teardrop hit my fingers. “I should have never left you.”

“Nick, you’re scaring me. What happened? Why does my throat feel like knives? The last thing I remember is your kiss and…” I thought back. I had a vague fuzzy recollection of Brian and I clinking glasses but after that there was nothing.

With a shaky sigh, Nick began to tell me about the night before. I was fine until he reached the part where Aaron had put the roofies in the drinks.

“Nick?” I said, my voice rising an octave. He held up his hand and continued, his voice filled with emotion and pain.

As he described his walk through the suite and his discovery of me and Brian, the tears continued to fall from his face. I was shocked into mortification.

“You were barely breathing,” he continued, lowering his head to my bed sheet. His shoulders shook as sobs overtook him. I put my hand on his head; I couldn’t speak. The thought of sleeping with someone and not consciously remembering any of my actions terrified me. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what had gone through Nick’s mind when he walked through that bedroom door. I didn’t even care about the part where I was barely breathing; I would gladly give every last breath to rewind time. I should have been waking up this morning sticky from whipped cream and resting in Nick’s embrace. Instead…

As Nick raised his head, wiping his eyes, I pulled my hand back. I had thought that I knew what true guilt was when I got involved with Nick before dissolving ties with Hunter. That feeling was nothing like I felt now; this was true guilt mixed in with a million other emotions I couldn’t even begin to describe.

“I’m sorry,” Nick said quietly. “The thought that you could have died…” he trailed off.

“How can you be sorry?” I said. It was my turn to cry. “I slept with Brian!”

At that moment Brian slid back into the room. He stood in the doorway, glancing over at me. He looked like a tortured man. I squinted. The side of his face was completely bruised.

“What happened?”

I saw a silent exchange happen between Brian and Nick.

“Nick had to shake me pretty hard to get me conscious,” Brian explained. Nick shook his head.

“No, I hit the fuck out of him,” Nick said. “I lost my temper.”

They shared another look.

“I’m not going to lie to her,” Nick said. “She deserves the truth.”

I didn’t think I deserved anything. I felt weird even looking at Brian, but I needed to. Something else was bothering me.

“Does Leighanne…?” I croaked out. Brian nodded.

“I called and talked to her,” he said. “She caught a flight out; she actually just called. Her flight has landed; she’ll be here soon.” He rubbed his neck, he seemed to find a crack in the wall extremely interesting. “How’s your throat?”

My fingers touched my throat again. I looked at Nick in confusion.

“They had to tube you and pump your stomach. The IV’s for dehydration,” he explained, nodding towards the tubing in my hand.

“Why did Aaron do it?” I asked. Nick smiled; it was the most hateful smile I’ve ever seen.

“He wanted to get me out of the way so he could run off and do whatever he wanted. He was thinking only of himself.”

Brian’s phone rang; he walked back out again.

“Needless to say,” Nick said quietly, brushing a piece of hair away from my eyes. “last night didn’t go according to plan.”

It was the understatement of the century.

“Nick, maybe fate’s trying to tell us something,” I whispered. He looked at me and started shaking his head no.

“No, it’s just a string of bad luck,” he said. “It’s all of this craziness of being on the road. Afterwards when there’s not so much interference…”

“Nick, how can I finish this tour? Every time Brian looks at me he’s going to be filled with guilt; I’m freaking out just knowing Leighanne’s going to be here soon. And,” I continued, my voice practically fading away. “Every time you look at me you’re going to see me with Brian.”

My tears fell fast. I turned my face away from him.

“Olivia, it’s not your fault. It’s not Brian’s fault. This was just a horrible mistake,” Nick cajoled. I didn’t respond. There was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Nick said. Leighanne walked in.

“Hey guys,” she said quietly. She paused a few paces away from my bed.

“Can you give us a few minutes, Nick?”

Nick nodded. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. I watched him walk out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Leighanne took the empty seat by my bed. I didn’t want to look at her. She had been such a good confidant to me; I wasn’t worthy of her trust or kindness.

“How are you doing?” she said. I felt her hand on my arm. Taking a deep breath I turned to look at her. I burst out into tears yet again. Her arms went around me, hugging me.

“It’s okay Liv,” she said.

“How can you say that?” I said. “I slept with…”

She cut me off. I felt her arms drop away. Seconds later she handed me a large wad of Kleenex.

“You’ve got to listen to me,” she said. “But first you need to look at me.”

Slowly I turned back to her. She seemed so put together, her eyes were calm and concerned.

“I’ve had a whole flight to calm down,” she explained, reading my mind. “One of the first things Brian did after they found out you were okay was call me and tell me what happened.”

I winced. I couldn’t even imagine how hard that phone call must have been.

“I’ve been where you are. When I was eighteen I was drugged at a party,” she said. “I woke up naked in a bed with no recollection of what happened. When Brian explained what happened, every emotion I felt that day just came back to me. I was scared and confused, I felt like a whore. What I didn’t realize for several months afterwards was that it wasn’t my fault; I was a victim.”

I didn’t say anything; she had summed up every emotion I was currently feeling.

“What is the last thing you remember?” she said, her voice still soft and kind.

“I remember Nick kissed me,” I said. “And I remember Brian and I clinking our glasses. After that I…” I shook my head. “I don’t know, I don’t remember anything.”

“As far as I’m concerned we’re going to chalk this up to a horrible, horrible mistake,” Leighanne said. “The only ones that are going to know are you, me, Brian and Nick.”

I looked at her in surprise. “How can you just let it go?”

She smiled; I couldn’t help but wonder where her wisdom came from. “It’s not that I don’t care; but if you had been on the other end of the phone when Brian was telling me what happened…you would have heard a man that was torturing himself. For eleven years he has been the most faithful man I’ve ever met. Nothing’s going to change my love for him.”

“I just feel so bad,” I said. I told myself I wasn’t going to cry again; even so I dabbed at a runaway tear.

“Don’t,” Leighanne said firmly. “I still consider you my friend and I want you to promise me you’re not going to tuck tail and run home. You deserve to finish off this tour. You would break Nick’s heart if you didn’t.”

“Nick,” I moaned.

“Yeah, about Nick,” Leighanne added. “In the time I’ve known him, and that’s been quite awhile, he has always been kind of self-centered. When I talked to him on the phone earlier I could hear in his voice how concerned he was for you. Don’t push him away because of this; let it make you closer.”

“How can you be so calm?” I asked instead; I just couldn’t make any promises at the moment.

“Oh,” Leighanne said. Her smile grew colder. “I’m channeling my rage for the person that actually deserves it.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I see Aaron,” she said slowly. “I’m going to kill him.”

“You’re going to have to stand in line.”

I looked over to see Nick and Brian hovering in the doorway.

All three of them looked like they meant business.

Chapter Thirty Five

“Nick, please go do something. I don’t want you wasting your whole Vegas time in the hospital,” I complained.

“No, I don’t want to be anywhere else,” Nick said. He dug into his milkshake, holding the spoon out to me. With a sigh I took a bite; the cold vanilla ice cream felt like heaven on my throat. I closed my eyes.

Leighanne and Brian had left about an hour ago. Before they headed off to the hotel, Brian had asked for a moment to talk to me alone.

“You’re kind of like a sister to me,” he began, his hands in his jeans pockets. He gave a weak grin. “This would make a great Jerry Springer episode.”

I sighed. Brian’s smile faded off his face.

“I know, not funny,” he said. “But, I don’t want things to be weird between you and me.”

“I still feel horrible when I think about Leighanne and Baylee and…” I trailed off. He shook his head.

“If you haven’t noticed I have an amazing wife,” Brian reminded me. “This would be different if we had made a conscious adult decision to do this. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had roofies in my system.”

I shook my head.

“Forgiveness is a part of who Leighanne and I are as Christians,” Brian said. “Having no recollection of any of last night’s events helps with that forgiving process.”

He walked over and held out his hand. I put my hand in his; he gave me a reassuring squeeze.

“I just want to make sure you’re not going to run off and hide,” Brian added. “You are going to finish this tour with us, right?”

I nodded. “Yes, I’ve already promised Nick,” I said. I had no other choice; he wouldn’t let the subject dropped until he got the answer he wanted.

After talking for a few more minutes, Brian left. I had the room all to myself for about fifteen minutes before Nick reappeared; milkshake in hand.

“Want another bite?” Nick asked, interrupting my thoughts. I nodded. Another spoonful greeted my tongue.

“When do I get out of here?” I croaked.

“Doctor is releasing you tomorrow morning,” Nick said. “He would have released you tonight, but I want to make sure you’re absolutely fine.”

I wrinkled my nose.

“Have you heard from Aaron?”

His eyes darkened, a deep frown etched his face. “No, he’s MIA,” he said coldly.

“Nick, I don’t think he meant for this to happen,” I added. Brian’s comment about forgiveness was playing in my mind; with Leighanne, Brian, and Nick all set to kill Aaron I decided to be the odd man out.

“That’s not important,” Nick argued. “The fact is he did something dumb that could have killed you and my best friend.”

“But it didn’t,” I reminded him. He took a big bite of ice cream without responding.

“What about AJ and Howie?” I asked, deciding a change of subject was in order.

“They think you’re in here for dehydration,” Nick explained. “That’s all they need to know.”

I nodded, sinking down into my thoughts. Nick was quiet by my side, but after a little while I saw him throw away the empty milkshake container. He returned and took my hand.

“I guess it could have been worse,” he finally said. I looked at him.

Nick made a face like he was eating something extremely sour.

“Out of everyone, I guess I’m at least thankful it was Brian and not someone in the club. I freak out every time I think of what could have happened if Brian didn’t take you back to the hotel. Anyone could have gotten to you and---“

His logic made sense, but it still didn’t make me feel that much better.

The hours ticked by; we watched TV. The nurse came in with some gross hospital food; Nick entertained me by making a mashed potato sculpture. When the announcement that visiting hours were over, I looked over at him.

“Thank you, Nick,” I said. I patted his hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

He looked confused.

“Where am I going?” he asked. I frowned.

“Visiting hours are over,” I explained.

“That’s for visitors,” he said, waving his hand in the air. “I’m not going anywhere.”

After another hour, he nudged me. “Scoot over.”

I slid closer to the guardrail on the bed and the IV. Nick lay down next to me.

“They could get you a cot,” I said. He shook his head.

“I just had the worst night of my life last night,” he said. “More than anything else in this world I just want to fall asleep next to you and know that you’re safe.”

Who in their right mind could argue with that? Inhaling the scent of his shampoo, I laid my head on his shoulder.

Even thought it was cramped quarters, I didn’t mind. Nick did make me feel safe. I fell asleep quickly, my hand over his heart.

-----------------------------------

“If I never see Las Vegas again, that will be absolutely fine with me,” I said as the bus pulled away in the late afternoon. I was on Nick’s bed surrounded by dozens of pillows. Nick lay across the end of the bed. Both of us were having yet another milkshake.

God bless comfort food.

“Tell me again why you surrounded me with bumper pads,” I said, taking a gratifying suck of shake.

“Precaution,” Nick said. I rolled my eyes.

“Can you at least get me my laptop? I have to do some updates.”

Reluctantly, Nick rolled off the bed. He returned a few moments later with my laptop. Handing it over, he resumed his spot.

I began to work quickly, updating the Boys’ Facebook and Twitter about the concert in Utah the next day. Then, I got to work putting together the video of the guys interviewing me for the fans. I omitted all mention of Brian as my favorite Backstreet Boy. I did keep the question where Nick asked me who I thought the sexiest Backstreet Boy was.

I was so intent on my work that I didn’t notice that Nick had slithered up by my side. He watched me work.

“When is your first day back to work at the library?” Nick asked. I jumped, surprised to see him looking over my shoulder.

“July 6,” I said. “Why?”

“Well,” Nick said. “Tomorrow’s June 25 and we have our concert in Utah. Then we have two concerts in San Francisco on the 26 and 27.”

“And my flight home leaves on the 28th,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “About that.”

I looked at him.

“I kinda changed it to July 5,” he said sweetly. I raised an eyebrow.

“July 5?” I said. “That’s the day before I start work!”

“Yes, but I have an apartment in LA. You can’t leave California without letting me show you one of my homes.”

I cracked a smile. “That’s going to take 7 days?” I asked.

“Well then there’s your birthday,” he added mischievously. I wrinkled my nose.

“I don’t want you to do anything for my birthday,” I said sternly. His eyes widened innocently.

“Who me? No, that’s not it. I just thought it would be nice to see you on your birthday,” he said. “And then of course there’s 4th of July. You have to be with me on the 4th of July. My apartment overlooks the beach and I want to lay out on the sand and watch the fireworks with you.”

Now that was a nice image. My fingers paused from their typing and I looked over at him. He batted his eyes.

“Seriously?” I asked. He nodded.

“Seriously,” he said. “More than anything in this world I just want one week where we’re not cohabitating with three other guys, their wives and children, and the whole tour crew.”

“Well, I guess I can call my mom and let her know there’s been a delay,” I said. Nick shook his head.

“Already done.”

I looked at him in surprise. “You talked to my mom?”

His smile widened. “Yup.”

“How did that go?”

“Well,” he paused. “I called her yesterday and told her you were in the hospital for dehydration.” Nick looked at me apologetically. “I just wanted to let her know in case somehow someone found out you were in the hospital.”

I nodded. “It’s okay.” I knew she would have freaked out if she knew the real truth.

“So, while we were talking I told her you were staying a little longer.”

“What did she say?”

“Well, I got a lecture about making sure you stayed hydrated,” Nick smiled. “I think the milkshakes are a good start.”

I laughed.

“Then, she asked me what my intentions were.”

I raised an eyebrow. “And you said?”

“I told her,” he paused. “That as far as I was concerned, if anyone messes with you they’re going to have to get through me first. And,” he took a breath. “I told her I was falling head over heels in love with you.”

“You didn’t.” I said.

“I sure did,” Nick said seriously. “And I meant every word.”

And without a doubt I knew he did.

Chapter Thirty Six – Utah

I’ve got to be honest with you; I guess I never really thought of Utah as an important state. Maybe it’s because it’s so far from my hometown. Maybe it’s because it’s surrounded by states I’ve heard a lot more about. Either way, I was surprised to find out just how beautiful it was. I stood on the stage of the outdoor pavilion, staring around at the beautiful landscape. The venue was surrounded by golf course.

“How you feeling Liv?” Howie said, walking by me. James clung to his shoulders, babbling in his own little language.

“Much better,” I said with a smile. “Why aren’t you golfing?” I asked. He frowned.

“I was,” he said. “But the other guys were kicking my ass so I cut it short.”

I took out a pair of binoculars, training them out on the course. As I zoomed in on the golf cart, I could see Nick, AJ, and Brian making their way to another hole. Leighanne and Baylee were in a golf cart behind them. Leighanne’s sister had flown in with Baylee that morning.

“I’m almost glad I was on the bottom,” Howie added coming up next to me. “Nick’s a sore loser. He actually teased me for quitting early; I reminded him that he’s done that the last three times we’ve played. Then he goes on Twitter and complains to the world how much he sucks.”

I smiled at him. He winked at me. “I’m just warning you about what you’re getting yourself into,” he said before walking off. James bounced along with him, happily saying “bah, bah, bah.”

I went back to the binoculars. Nick was wearing golf shorts and a polo shirt. He pointed out some landmark with his finger, smirking at AJ. I saw him do the “golf stance” and with a fierce swing, took his shot.

I wasn’t close enough to hear the laughter; but I saw AJ double up, his shoulders shaking. I zoomed in as far as my binoculars would take me. Nick had completely missed the golf ball. He kicked angrily at the divot he made in the ground. I laughed out loud.

Finally remembering that I wasn’t getting paid to watch a golf game, I grabbed my camera and headed out to find out what scoop I could get. As I entered the parking lot, I saw a group of girls wearing Backstreet Boys shirts. Walking up to them, I smiled.

“Ready for the concert?” I asked. They turned around, nodding eagerly.

“I was wondering if I could do a quick interview for the fan club website,” I said, holding up my camera.

“Sure,” the girl closest to me said. She looked at me. “Hey, you’re the media chick,” she said. “OMG, I just saw the interview with you on the fanclub page,” she added.

I smiled. “Yeah, I—“

Another girl cut me off. “Nick’s mine, you know.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve heard the rumors that you’re Nick’s new girlfriend,” she said. “Nick’s mine.”

I laughed. “No, we’re just good friends,” I said. I saw three pairs of eyes narrow. They took a step forward.

“How good of friends?”

“I’m friends with all of the guys,” I said, taking a step backwards. “And I just wanted to ask you some questions from one fan to another,” I said, motioning between myself and the girls. They shared a smile between them.

“If you're such good friends,” one of the girls said. “Let us on Nick’s bus.”

I laughed. I had done some incredibly stupid things before; but no way was I going to let these lunatics on one of the guy’s busses.

“I can’t do that,” I said. They started to close in on me like hyenas.

“Have you been on the bus?”

“Have you spent the night on the bus?”

I opened my mouth to speak. I ducked just in time to miss as one of the girls reached out to claw me. I thought of AJ’s black eye. If these types of girls did that to someone they were infatuated with, what were they going to do with someone they hated?

“COMING THROUGH!”

The girls scattered like flies. I jumped aside just as Nick flew through on a golf cart. Baylee was sitting on his lap, steering like a maniac. Nick clung to him as he slammed on the brake. Nick’s arm draped over the steering wheel and he gave one of his million dollar smiles.

“Everything okay here, ladies?” he asked. Baylee peeked out around Nick’s arm smiling.

“I drove,” he announced, pointing to the wheel.

The girls were too shocked to see Nick Carter sitting only feet away to say anything. Nick motioned to me with his head. Without a word, I climbed on the back of the golf cart.

“Enjoy the concert ladies!” Nick called, taking off towards the green. When we were out of earshot, I let out a sigh of relief.

“What were you trying to do? Feed yourself to the lions?” Nick asked.

“I wanted to get some fan interviews!” I said indignantly.

“I love our fans. We have the best fans in the world,” Nick explained. “But some fans, especially ones that arrive five hours early for a concert are the ones to watch out for.”

I let out a little “oh.” We bounced along the grassy fields until we were back to where the guys had left off. They were on the 17th hole.

“We’re almost done,” Nick said. He placed Baylee on the ground, then hopped out. “Stay and watch me kick some ass.”

“I don’t know how he’s going to kick ass,” AJ said, smiling my way. “He’s in last place, well, besides Howie. But, Howie quit, so by a technicality he’s in third place.”

I laughed. Leighanne came and sat next to me; we watched the guys tee off. Nick missed the ball for the second time. Ignoring AJ’s laughter, Nick looked my way.

“If I may say so,” he said. “It’s not easy golfing with one hand in a cast.”

I nodded sympathetically. On the second stroke he made contact. The ball sailed over the green.

“How are you doing?” Leighanne asked as we watched Brian step up for his turn. I looked at her and smiled.

“I’m doing okay. Thanks to you,” I said. She leaned into me, nudging me gently.

“This old lady knows a thing or two,” she teased.

“You’re not old,” I admonished. She laughed.

Brian turned around and looked at us. “She gets prettier every year. I’ll be ninety with no teeth and no hair and she’ll still be a blonde bombshell.”

Leighanne blew him a kiss.

I thanked God that I hadn’t ruined such a perfect relationship.

------------------------------

I mostly steered clear of the fans during sound check and the concert. I took some photos and videos; but not my usually plethora of goods. I wanted to save the best for last during our two days in San Francisco. Tony and Anderson had told me they would be there; I wanted to make my best impression.

After the concert was over, the stage was quickly disassembled and the busses once again roared to life.

“Don’t you ever get tired of the bus?” I asked Nick as he closed the hatch on the bus’s luggage compartment. He leaned against the black exterior, his face thoughtful.

“This has been normal for me since I was twelve years old,” he said. “I love it when I’m home, but after a few months the itch returns.”

Taking my hand, we climbed onto the bus. I didn’t care who saw me with Nick; all pretenses were gone.

Earlier, Andrea had come up to me and asked me how I was feeling. After I assured her I was fine, she looked around to make sure no one was within earshot.

“What’s going on with you and Nick?” she asked. “Is he a better bus mate than I am?” she teased. I smiled.

“I don’t know what to tell you about me and Nick,” I said. “Six weeks ago I never expected I’d be standing here contemplating more than just an acquaintance with him. But now…”

She held up her hand. “Nuf said. Life’s confusing. Just jump on and go for it.”

Andrea had never been mean or spiteful to me. The times we had roomed together she was nothing but sweet and funny. Her simple words meant the world to me. As I followed Nick up the steps, my heart panged sadly. I hadn’t been touring on a bus since I was twelve, but I knew that I would miss it. By the time the Canadian leg rolled around in August I knew without a doubt I’d be ready to come back.

As the bus made its way to San Francisco, I sat by Nick on the carpeted floor of the living quarters, playing game after game of Mario Kart on the Wii. I poured my aggression and frustration from the last several weeks out on the poor Koopa Troopas and Toadstools that dared pass me. Nick seemed to do the same; I could almost see Aaron’s face on every single one of those turtles that were blasted off the road by Nick’s surprise bombs and banana peels.

Even so, it felt good, really good.

>b>Chapter Thirty Seven - California

When I was fifteen, I had a pen pal that lived in San Francisco. For my sixteenth birthday, my parents flew me out to meet her as a birthday present. I loved every minute of it, from the streetcars to the Golden Gate Bridge. The moment the busses rolled into the city, I had my face against the window, the pictures from my memory coming out to provide comparison between what the city had looked like then to what it looked like now. It was almost exactly the same.

The busses ran low on gas only two miles from the concert venue. They pulled over to refuel.

“Want anything?” Nick asked. I shook my head.

“Naw I’m fine,” I said.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

He hopped down; I went back to the laptop. For the whole tour I had been taking the best videos and photographs from each stop and compiling them into one great big video. It would be my piece de resistance, a gift to the U.S. fans for coming out and supporting the boys. I had gone old school and set the whole thing to their song, Everyone. I worked in silence for several minutes.

“If you’re going, to San Francisco. Be sure to wear, some flowers in your hair,” Nick sang as he climbed back on the bus. I laughed, my eyes still not leaving the screen; the video was coming together perfectly before my eyes.

Nick sat down beside me and repeated the verse.

“What’s up with you and that so—“ I started to say, looking over at him. My mouth dropped open. He grinned.

His arms were filled with two dozen yellow roses.

“Are you serious?” I said as he handed them to me. He laughed.

“You said they were your favorite,” he explained.

They looked and smelled amazing. I brought them to my face, inhaling deeply.

“Thank you,” I said.

“I got the ones that were de-thorned,” he added. He plucked one out from the bunch, snapping the long stem. He placed it in my hair. I had a flashback to him doing the same thing with a red rose on the Masquerade set. That seemed like so long ago.

“There. Now we can go to San Francisco.”

The bus took off again. I leaned over and kissed him softly. It was the first time I had kissed him since…since the incident. I thought it might have changed things; but the magic still resided right there on his lips. As I broke away, his eyes seemed to shine with relief.

“What was that for?” he asked innocently.

“The roses,” I answered with a laugh.

“Well technically I bought you two dozen. That’s twenty four roses. So, that means I probably should get about, oh, twenty three more kisses.”

“Start me a tab,” I said as I stood up to find a vase.

“Don’t think I won’t!”

After another ten minutes, the busses pulled up behind the Villa Florence, the hotel where we would be staying.

“What’s the venue like?” I asked as I grabbed my equipment bag. Nick broke into a grin.

“The Warfield,” he said with enthusiasm. “We’re playing two nights. It seats about 2,000 people. It’s a really intimate venue.”

We had just enough time to check into the room and get ready for sound check. As I walked out of the bathroom, pulling my still wet hair into a ponytail, I heard Nick talking on the phone.

“No, it’s a surprise; a big surprise. How soon? Perfect. I’ll call again in the next day or so.”

He looked up, saw me, and hung up the phone.

“My turn?” he asked, hopping off the bed. I grabbed his arm on the way to the bathroom.

“What’s a surprise?” I asked suspiciously. He looked at me with a horrible feign of confusion.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. Gently he pried my hand off his arm and walked to the bathroom.

With a sigh I fell back on the bed, my legs dangling off the edge so that my feet were still on the floor. I was still in the same position when Nick came back in the room, showered and smelling amazing. He straddled my legs, looking down at me.

“What’s a surprise?” I asked again.

“Well, the dictionary defines a surprise as something unexpected or wonderful,” Nick said sweetly. I laughed and jerked my leg playfully; he jumped back.

“If you hit me in the goods you’re going to ruin my chances of having beautiful babies with you,” he teased. He held a hand out to help me up off the bed. I took his hand and sat up slowly.

“Nick,” I said, my mouth feeling suddenly dry. “I think I need to tell you something.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I…I can’t have children,” I said.

“Why not?” Nick said. He looked at me as if looking for some type of external sign.

“The doctors don’t know,” I said, my hands beginning to do the talking for me. I waved them a mile a minute. “Hunter and I tried for three years. I went through every test known to mankind. I just don’t do what a normal woman needs to do to have a baby. I’m like a chicken that can’t lay eggs on a regular basis.”

It was the stupidest analogy I could think of. I watched Nick’s face; he looked thoughtful. After a minute he smiled.

“Well, when we get to that road we’ll cross it,” he said lightly. I noticed he used the word when instead of if. I stood up beside him. He kissed me softly.

“I’ll take another off your tab,” he said. I smiled, feeling my body relax.

-----------------------------

When we arrived at the Warfield, I knew why Nick was so enthusiastic. It was an amazing venue. It reminded me of The Midland in Missouri, where Nick and I had almost made love. I let out a little sigh.

Tony and Anderson were waiting for us as we walked in. After a round of handshakes with the guys and their families, they turned to me.

“And then we have Olivia,” Anderson said.

“How’s she doing boys?” Tony said.

“She’s fabulous,” Nick piped up right away.

“Highly professional,” Howie added. I thought he was stretching it a little bit.

“She fits right in,” AJ said.

“A good fit to the family,” Brian added.

Anderson grinned. “Well, you’ve made quite an impression.”

I smiled and shrugged.

“Can we meet with you in one of the backrooms Olivia? We’d like to review your work and have a little meeting.”

I followed them to a secluded little room. I spent a couple moments setting up my equipment.

“I’ve tried to post to their Facebook and Twitter at least once for every tour stop,” I explained. “I’ve utilized the TwitPic feature quite often. I’ve also posted some great videos to bsbofficial on YouTube and of course the concert photographs for the FanClub.”

Anderson nodded. “The feedback has been very positive.”

“In fact,” Tony said with a smile. “We’d like to extend this internship opportunity past the Canadian leg in August.”

My eyes widened. “Really?”

Anderson nodded. “The Boys are setting sail in December on a cruise with the fans. We’d like for you to be the special correspondent for the trip.”

I felt a thrill of excitement fly through my body. I remembered getting the announcement and thinking how cool it would be to be able to go; then the tour had sold out in about two seconds. Not that I could have afforded it; I had been unemployed at the moment and living with my lying, cheating husband.

“Seriously?” I said. Tony laughed.

“Seriously. And we think you deserve a little raise. Your work has exceeded our expectations.”

Anderson slid a piece of paper over my way. I saw another ten thousand dollars written on it.

“That’s for eight days,” Tony explained. “A day of presale footage, the six day cruise, and a day of aftermath.”

“So what do you say?”

All I could think of was Nick. On a boat. In the middle of the ocean. With me.

“I think,” I said quietly. “That I wouldn’t miss this opportunity for the world.”

Chapter Thirty Eight

I walked out of the meeting with Tony and Anderson feeling really good about myself. While they went to talk to the guys; I met up with Andrea.

“How’d the meeting with the bosses go?” she whispered, looking around.

“Well, if I were getting a grade, I’d say I passed,” I said. I told her about being invited onto the cruise. Her eyes widened.

“No way! That’s awesome!”

She gave me a big hug. “I’m going to miss you.”

I pulled back, confused. “Where are you going?”

“Oh,” she said. “I’m not going on the Canadian leg; I’ve got another gig.”

“Well, in that case, I’m going to miss you,” I said. I truly meant it.

“Hey, you’re a techie. I’ll keep tabs on you on Facebook.” She winked. “I need all the dirt on Nick you can spill. Plus you can remind me how hot AJ is on a weekly basis by sending me pictures.”

I laughed and shook my head. She headed off towards the stage, then looked back at me over her shoulder.

“I’ve got to say a BIG goodbye to Paul,” she explained. I smiled; I hoped that her and her favorite crew guy would stay in contact after the tour.

While everyone was off doing other things; I took a moment for myself. It was like the good old days. I surfed onto Perez Hilton and got lost in all of the celebrity gossip.

I hit page six when I noticed the word “Carter.” Reading it more carefully, I realized I was reading about Aaron and Maile’s Las Vegas Wedding. Reportedly, the couple was honeymooning in Mexico. I sighed; Nick wouldn’t be happy.

“Such a big sigh for such a small lady.”

I looked up to see Nick hovering over me. I turned the laptop in his direction. He read the post, his eyes narrowing.

“You’re not going to run off to Mexico and kill him, right?” I asked. Nick smiled.

“No, I’m a little busy right now,” he said nonchalantly. “But don’t think that sparks won’t fly when I do meet up with my lil’ bro.”

I didn’t respond; instead I turned off my laptop.

“So how did your meeting go?” Nick asked. He sat down on the floor, leaning his back up against my legs. His head fell back onto my lap.

“Pretty good,” I said. I couldn’t suppress a wide smile. “They offered me another job.”

“And that would be?” Nick asked.

“Well this totally amazing group is going on a cruise in December,” I began, playing with his hair. Nick broke into a grin. “And Anderson and Tony thought I’d be up for the challenge of documenting the adventure.”

“I have to agree,” Nick said. “But, even if they didn’t offer you that I would have been bringing you along anyhow.”

I smiled. Leaning down, I gave him a kiss.

“Should I take that one off your tab?” he asked.

“Naw, that’s a freebie.” I said.

“You might change your mind when I tell you what Tony and Anderson met with us about,” Nick said with a laugh.

“What?” I said, frowning.

“Well, they love the Masquerade video,” Nick said. “They want us to premiere it here at the Warfield tonight and tomorrow.”

“That’s terrific!” I said with a smile.

“Yes, but,” Nick paused. “They thought while the video was playing that we could be performing it onstage.”

“By performing, you mean…?”

“I mean you girls in your dresses, waltzing around with us.”

“Oh no way,” I said, shaking my head. “On a closed set is one thing, but live in front of an audience? You saw those girls yesterday; they were ready to kill me!”

The corners of Nick’s mouth lifted up; he was trying his hardest not to smile.

“It’s not funny Nickolas!”

He held up his hands. “I’m just telling you what the bosses said,” he said innocently.

I sighed. Then I thought of something that really bothered me.

“How are we going to jump?” I asked. “We won’t have time to put on guide wires.”

Nick paused uncomfortably. “Well,” he rubbed his neck. “They’re going to put a lower platform that attaches to the stairs so you don’t have so far to jump.”

“I can easily break something with my feet on the ground! You expect me to jump with no safety net?”

“I will catch you,” Nick said.

“You have one hand!” I pointed to his cast. He looked surprised.

“Oh yeah.” He puckered his lips. “I better go talk to the guys.”

He walked off; I smiled. I knew my logic had won.

--------------------------------------

“I can’t believe this,” I complained two hours later.

My initial triumph had quickly been doused. After a mutual decision that the guys didn’t want us jumping off a platform without support and that Nick couldn’t possibly do the lifts with his hand, they had devised an alternative choreography.

“You’ll be fine,” Nick said. “It’s so much easier than the steps for the video.”

We were still waltzing, but instead of lifting we were doing timed dips. Nick and I were the last “dippers.”

We had an hour to practice before sound check.

“You trust me, don’t you?” Nick said, his bulky cast resting on my side.

“Yes,” I admitted. He grinned.

“Famous last words.”

Before I could complain, the music started. We went through the routine four times. Each time we ended with the kiss.

“I’m paying off my tab quickly,” I teased. He laughed.

“I’ll just have to give you more roses,” he countered.

With only minutes to spare before sound check, we pretty much had the routine down. Leigh, Leighanne, Rochelle, and I darted backstage as the VIP holders came in. I changed quickly and grabbed my camera.

Time to get back to my day job.

------------------------------

That night, I stood nervously backstage. Anderson and Tony were in the front row; their eyes seemed to be dissecting everything.

“So how many tomatoes are going to get thrown our way?” Rochelle said, sidling up to me. I looked at her horrified. She laughed.

“Just kidding,” she said.

“How we doin’ tonight San Francisco?” Nick called out loudly. I heard the place erupt in shrieks.

“We have something new for you guys tonight,” Howie added.

“You guys are the first people to see our new video for Masquerade.” AJ explained.

“And to celebrate, we’d like to call out our four lovely co-stars from the video,” Brian said. “First off, my beautiful wife, Leighanne.”

Leighanne smiled, bouncing out on stage.

“My lovely fiancée, Rochelle,” AJ said. Rochelle clicked her tongue ring, running out to him.

“Mi esposa, Leigh,” Howie said. The audience screamed even louder; he could have said “I like fish sticks” in Spanish and the girls would still go crazy.

“And, last, but not least,” Nick said. “my amazing girlfriend Olivia.”

I paused mid-step. He had said I was his girlfriend to an audience of 2,000 people. Nick made a ‘c’mere’ motion my way. Taking a deep breath I walked the length of the stage to him.

There were a few boo’s, but not nearly as many as I was prepared for. I stopped in front of him. He placed his hand on my waist. He pulled his microphone away from his face.

“Ready?” he whispered. I took a breath and nodded.

I’m happy to report that no one fell, no natural disaster occurred, and at the end of the song when Nick and I kissed, the audience didn’t come stampeding on the stage to kill me. I walked off the stage feeling much better than I had earlier in the day.

Besides a successful performance, more importantly I was officially a girlfriend. I had a feeling I’d be seeing my own face on Perez Hilton really soon.

I just hoped I’d be ready for it.

Chapter Thirty Nine – June 27 / June 28

“Ain’t no party like a Backstreet Party, cause a Backstreet Party don’t stop,” Howie sang backstage. It was the night of the last performance.

After the concert the night before, everyone had stayed up late. We all piled into AJ’s hotel room to watch the Masquerade video and enjoyed dissecting every bit. By the time Nick and I got back into the room, there was just enough time to grab about six hours of sleep before waking up bright and early.

The Boys had spent the morning making appearances on radio stations to promote Masquerade. I had tagged along, snapping photos with the various radio DJs.

Now I sat with Nick in a corner, stealing a few minutes of peace and quiet. Nick was dressed for the first song; he wore tennis shoes, jeans, a black and white striped shirt, and a black jacket decorated with gold lame on the shoulders and on the lapel. I played with his jean chains. His fingers ran through my hair.

“So we have a huge after party tonight. Then we’ll spend one last night at the Villa Florence. And then tomorrow I’ve hired a car to take us to LA.” he explained.

I smiled. “Sounds good to me.”

The concert that night was unforgettable. Sweet Howie, who had stood by and watched the guys pull pranks on each other all tour got the last laugh. He had tweaked the guy’s mouth pieces so that the guys (sans Howie) sounded like chipmunks for the entire performance of All of Your Life. Nick thought it was the best prank in the world. He ran up to Brian. Leaning back to back, they belted out the words. At the end of the song, Brian and Nick launched right into the Chipmunk Song.

“Want a plane that loops the loop,” Brian sang.

“Me, I want a hula hoop!” Nick blared out.

The fans ate it up, but Howie wasn’t done. Luckily, he didn’t prank us girls; our second performance of Masquerade went very well. However, during the encore of Straight Through my Heart, Howie had people dressed as vampires popping out from underneath the stairs and dropping from the ceiling. By the end, the guys were more worried about looking out for falling fangs than remembering their dance steps.

The crowd thought it was hysterical. After one last bow, the Boys ran offstage. Nick grabbed me up with his good arm, swinging me around. I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck. By the time my feet hit the ground, we were locked in a kiss.

The after party was huge. All of the dancers and the crew came to party it up; alcohol flowed freely. Nick and I wove through the crowd, stopping to talk to this person or that. Finally we made our way to a table in a corner. Nick sat down, pulling me gently onto my lap.

“No more busses,” Nick said with a sigh. His lips caressed my neck. My eyes fluttered closed.

“Nope,” I leaned farther back into him.

“No more interruptions,” he added, his lips kissing my shoulder.

“Nope,” I said, my hand resting on his knee. He bounced me gently on his lap. I laughed.

The party didn’t wrap up until about 3 a.m. After the last crew members left, it was only AJ, Brian, Howie, Nick and us girls.

“It went fast,” AJ said.

“Our wedding will be here before you know,” Rochelle said. AJ grinned.

“October 31st, folks,” AJ announced. “Put it on your calendar.”

Nick laughed. “You’re getting married on Halloween?”

“What’s wrong with that?” AJ said. Nick just shrugged.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you guys in a few weeks,” Howie said. “Leigh and I are headed back to Orlando tomorrow morning.”

“Leighanne and I are headed back to Atlanta,” Brian said. “Baylee’s got softball in July.”

“I’m staying in LA,” AJ said.

“Me too,” Nick said. He looked over at AJ. “Wanna play golf next week?”

AJ grinned. “Yup, it does my ego good to win.”

Nick made a face.

After a round of hugs, we headed back to the hotel. I walked in, falling heavily on the bed. Nick was soon to follow. He leaned over, kissing me softly.

“Car will be here in five hours,” he yawned, smashing his face into the pillow. I groaned.

We fell asleep in our clothes.

-----------------------------------------

The next morning we headed to LA, loaded down with bagels and iced coffee.

“I can’t wait to get back home,” Nick said, licking cream cheese off his fingers. I smiled.

“Who takes care of it when you’re gone?” I asked.

“I have a housekeeper,” Nick explained. “It isn’t my main place; I have a house in Orlando.”

I snuggled up against him. The entire back of the car smelled like iced caramel frappes.

I had unknowingly fallen asleep. As we arrived in Los Angeles, Nick nudged me awake.

“Look,” he said pointing out the window.

Through sleepy eyes, I saw the Hollywood sign. I sat up a little straighter.

“That is so cool,” I said.

Nick’s apartment was actually south of LA, in Long Beach. I smelled the sand and surf before I saw it. As we rounded a corner, a beautiful condo community came into view. Crystalline blue water danced along creamy sand.

“You live here?” I asked. Nick laughed.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice isn’t it?”

The driver helped us unload our bags in front of Nick’s condo.

“I thought you said you had an apartment,” I said.

“Apartment, condo…same difference.”

I shook my head. Nick unlocked the door. A beautiful white marble floor led off down a hallway on one side and branched off to a sweeping staircase in the other direction.

From somewhere above my head I heard a strange sound.

“Wait here,” Nick said. He tossed down his bags, taking the stairs two at a time.

I set down my bags. A few family photographs were placed on a hall table. I smiled at a couple of Nick on a boat. He looked like he would be happy to live on water forever.

As I was studying the pictures, I heard footsteps on the stairs. I turned to see Nick coming back down, a little bundle cradled in his arm.

A black and white head popped up and barked.

It was a Boston Terrier puppy wearing a gigantic birthday bow.

“Surprise!” Nick said. He was grinning ear to ear.

I gasped. Slowly I walked over, putting my hand on the pup’s silky head.

“Do you like her?” Nick said hopefully. I looked at him; I was in awe.

“Nick,” I said. “You shouldn’t have.”

“I love dogs,” Nick smiled. “I have two at home in Orlando. Iggy and Lila. Atari and this little gal need to hook up with my crew.”

He placed the pup in my arms. The puppy’s wet nose nudged my hand. I was in love.

“So what’s a good name for her?” Nick said. I looked at her tiny paws. She was the smallest Boston Terrier I had ever seen.

“Bitsy,” I said with a smile. Nick arched an eyebrow.

“Bitsy?”

“Yeah, like the itsy bitsy spider.”

He laughed. Reaching over he scratched her behind the ears.

“Hello, Bitsy.”

I set the pup on the marble floor. She teetered and tottered, then took off in a zig-zag puppy run.

“Happy Early Birthday, Livvy,” Nick said. He wrapped his arms around my waist. I sighed happily, leaning back against him.

We were finally alone.

Chapter Forty – June 28

After getting the grand tour and I do mean grand, Nick brought me back to his bedroom. A beautiful set of glass doors led to a balcony that overlooked the ocean. I stood there, my hands curled around the white wind worn railing. I closed my eyes. I could almost taste the ocean; the sound of seagulls was everywhere. I wanted to put on a sailor’s hat and take off.

“So,” Nick said. His arms snaked around my waist. “What do you think?”

“What do I think?” I laughed. “It’s beautiful. I’d never want to leave if I lived here.”

He rested his head on top of mine. Together we looked out at the ocean.

“It’s nicer when you have someone to share it with.”

We stayed like that for several moments. The stretch of beach was private for only those in the condo community, the beach wasn’t crowded and not a piece of litter was in sight.

“I thought I would make us dinner, we can eat here on the balcony, and then we can go out to the beach and watch the sunset,” Nick said quietly. “Sound like a plan?”

I nodded.

“I’m just going to get changed,” I said. The approaching evening seemed to be sending the temperature higher, rather than lower.

As Nick headed down to the kitchen, I changed into shorts and a flowing blouse. I piled my hair on top of my head; the cool air tickling the back of my neck felt good. After a quick confirmation that everything was covered and zipped, I went down to the kitchen. As I walked into the bright sunny space, I sat on a bar stool at the high counter. Nick was throwing open cupboards.

It didn’t take him long to realize that being on the road for months had left his grocery supply slightly low. When he had looked in the last nook and cranny, the results were a can of chicken noodle soup, a box of rice, and some frozen French bread.

“Huh,” Nick said. “I guess the grocery store fairy didn’t stop by my house.”

I laughed. Taking the French bread in my hands I gave him a slight tap on the side of the head with the frozen block.

“So I think that means we have to go grocery shopping.”

Nick wrinkled his nose. “Not tonight,” he said. “There’s always plan B.”

He opened another kitchen drawer and pulled out a huge folder that said “Take Out.” Twenty minutes later a delivery boy was dropping off the most amazing grilled chicken salads I had ever smelled in my life.

“See, take out can be healthy,” Nick explained, putting the large white bag on the bar. I filled two wine glasses with water; we took the entire meal up to the balcony. Bitsy, who had spent her day tackling the staircase, was clonked out on the bottom step making the most wonderful puppy snores.

“That’s why I like squishy face dogs,” Nick said. “They’re great snorers. And farters.”

I laughed. It was the perfect introduction to a lovely meal.

Nick spread out a blanket on the balcony and we set out the food.

“To alone time,” Nick said, raising his glass. I copied his movement.

“To alone time,” I said. I smiled at him over the brim. He grinned.

“So tell me about home. What do you do at the library?” Nick asked, taking a big bite of leafy greens. I chewed thoughtfully.

“Pretty much anything that needs to be done,” I admitted. “I decorate, I order books, I do story times.”

Nick popped a cherry tomato in his mouth. “Isn’t that hard?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he paused. “You work around children and yet…”

I shook my head. “Just because I can’t have children doesn’t mean I don’t love them,” I said. “And it’s kind of nice; I can get them all excited and full on sugar and then send them home to their parents.”

Nick laughed. “I do that to Baylee all the time. Brian and Leighanne hate me.”

We shared a laugh and then finished dinner in comfortable silence. Nick grabbed our containers; I folded up the blanket. With mutual understanding, we headed downstairs and out to the beach.

I fanned the blanket out, letting it sink slowly onto the sand. Nick took my hand, pulling me down on the blanket with him. As I sat on his lap, the sky began its nightly show.

One would think that when you see one sunset, you’ve seen them all. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Streaks of pinks, reds, purples, and gold lit up the sky as the sun set on the horizon.

As I watched memorized, Nick’s hand was doing his own imitation of a sunset. The hand that had started in my hair travelled to my shoulder and down my spine, soliciting a shiver from me. As his fingers found the bottom of my shirt, I felt his fingertips brush bare skin.

“It’s a beautiful sunset,” I said softly.

“Yes you are,” he answered back. I laughed. “No I mean—“

I made the mistake of turning my head and looking at him. The sunset was reflecting in his beautiful blue eyes; when he kissed me everything from the sound of the seagulls to the last rays of light flew out of my mind.

His kiss was sweet and tender, yet there was also a subtle feeling of determination. He rested his casted hand on my back, his other hand leaving the hem of my shirt and sliding up and down my legs. I felt a rush of heat; flames of desire licked through my extremities.

Without conscious thought, I scooted off his lap and lay back on the blanket. Nick hovered over me, resuming our kiss. His hand returned to the hem of my shirt, slipping underneath and caressing my breasts. My hands slid down his back. Pulling back for just a moment, I released his lips just long enough to pull his shirt over his head.

“Let’s take this inside,” Nick said. We stood up; with blanket and shirt in hand, we headed back through the French doors. I dropped the pile on the kitchen counter. The moment I did so, I was scooped up by a strong arm. One second I had been looking at the kitchen, the next I was looking at Nick’s backside; he was carrying me barbarian style.

“Nick,” I said, laughing. He grunted.

With my head bouncing like a bobble head, he carried me into his bedroom. With a gentle roll I landed on the bed. His hands pinned me down by my ankles. He was grinning like a lion tamer; I was his prey.

I wiggled off my shoes as his hands began to slide up from my ankles. I was hypnotized by his every movement. I lifted my hips as my shorts disappeared with his sure hand. My heart began to pound as one by one pieces of my clothing disappeared until I was naked. Everywhere that bare skin met the warm night air was soon covered by Nick’s touches and caresses.

“Livvy,” he murmured.

Using his moment of distraction to my favor, I quickly rolled over, pinning him down. My hands worked at his jeans; the realization that this time we were actually going to be able to make love made my head spin. I worked slowly; his eyes watched my every move. Finally, with a smile I tossed his boxers over my head.

“So far so good,” he said huskily. His hand pressed gently into my hip bone.

We paused for a moment. It seemed amazing that we didn’t have someone knocking on the door or some other drama going on. But all was quiet; it was just Nick and me.
I let him roll me back into the soft mattress. My back
arched to him in need. With the slowing breath of one in the depths of desire, he pinned me down. With one shared look, one silent exchange, I wrapped my legs around him and succumbed to him heart and soul.

At that moment every single nerve ending and sensory function was alive. I could hear the gentle lap of waves, I saw the moonlight reflected in a thousand different angles on his bare chest, I smelled the sweet masculine scent of wanton need, and my skin tingled as flesh met flesh time and time again.

Later, as I lay in Nick’s arms, I couldn’t help but let one single tear fall from my eye. The teardrop hung to my eyelash before making its descent, dripping gently onto Nick’s wrist.

“Are you okay?” he whispered. His face was buried in my hair.

I didn’t know how to put into words just how okay I was. I had never experienced anything quite like our love before. I could feel Nick’s heart thudding against my back.

“I didn’t know it could be like this,” I finally whispered. His warm breath fell on my shoulder like a silky caress. His legs entwined with mine.

“I love you, Livvy,” he said in return, pulling me even closer. I turned and looked at him in surprise. He was deadly serious.

“I love you too, Nick,” I whispered.

One long, slow kiss later we lay there, breathing in rhythm. I don’t know who fell asleep first, Nick or I. All I knew was that we were together.

Our string of bad luck was broken; fate had not triumphed again.

This time it was love that was victor.

Chapter Forty One – June 29 / June 30

I would be lying to you if I said that we spent the next day touring LA. I would be telling the truth if I said that we spent the greater part of the day right where we started the night before.

As we curled up to sleep, Nick’s hand once again snaked up my bare side.

“Any more and I’m never going to be able to walk again,” I said with a giant yawn. Bitsy lay by the balcony doors, her white patches of fur almost looking phosphorescent in the moonlight. Nick laughed, nibbling my neck.

“So is that a no?” he teased. I gave him a look.

“I guess we’re going to have to go outside tomorrow,” he said with a yawn.

“You need groceries,” I reminded him. He groaned.

“I hate grocery shopping.”

“Do the fans chase you down with carts?” I teased.

“I try to go either really early in the morning or really late at night,” Nick explained.

“Yeah, like we’re going to wake up early,” I laughed. “This should be fun.” I turned around, kissing him softly.

“Night, Nick.”

“Night, babe.”

---------------------------------------

By the time we got to the grocery store the next morning, it was already 10 a.m. Nick was wearing his “bank thief” outfit again. It was ninety degrees outside.

“That’s not conspicuous,” I said with a laugh. He scowled from underneath his hoodie.

I grabbed a shopping cart and started at one side of the store, ready to sweep through the aisles. Nick glanced left and right as we walked along. I stopped for a good look at the fresh fruit.

“Like my melons?” I asked, holding up two cantaloupes.

That produced the desired effect. Nick grinned. “I love ‘em.”

I walked ahead of the cart; after awhile Nick treated it like a skateboard, sailing past me several times. He tossed the hood away from his face.

“It’s warm in here,” he said as if just realizing it.

“Then we better go to frozen food.”

We were discussing what type of ice cream to get when I heard a squeal. Nick braced himself.

I turned to see a mom walk by with a little toddler having a fit.

“Coast is clear,” I said. “Cranky two year old.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Nick said, grabbing a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough and rocky road.

We were able to get through the line without anyone stopping Nick. Maybe it was because he hadn’t yet shaved or maybe it was the sloppy clothes, but he managed to evade detection.

As we loaded the groceries in the back of his Toyota Prius, I spotted a pet store.

“Nick, I want to run in there,” I said. “I want to get a bed for Bitsy.”

He looked around at the parking lot; it was filling up fast.

“You can stay in the car with the air on so things don’t melt; I’ll be right back.”

I headed into the store, focused on buying a cute fluffy pink bed. As I headed towards the back of the store, my phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hi, sweetie.” It was my mom. I broke into a huge smile.

“Hi, mom!”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m great. How’s everything there?”

“Good. How’s Nick?”

“He got me a puppy, mom,” I said. I picked out a soft velvety pink bed. It was perfect.

“He didn’t.”

“He did!”

I told her all about Bitsy. As I made my way back to the front of the store, the little bed filled up with puppy treats, toys, a collar, and a leash.

“And is Nick behaving himself?” Mom finally said when I paused for breath.

A thousand images flashed through my mind. In every single image Nick was naked. I fanned myself with some puppy training pads.

“Of course, mom,” I finally said. I handed my stuff to the cashier.

“When will you be home?”

“July 5 around noon,” I said.

“You’re going to have to meet with the lawyer,” mom reminded me. I sighed.

“I’m sure I’ll be able to fit that in, even if I had to do that on my lunch hour later in the week,” I said.

“That will be 74.50,” the cashier said. I handed her my debit card.

“Okay, sweetie,”

“Ma’am, the card was declined.”

I looked at the cashier like she was crazy.

“Can you try it again? Mom, I’ve got to go,” I explained.

“Okay, love you.”

“Love you.”

I pocketed my cell phone as the cashier tried my card again. She shook her head.

“I’m sorry.”

Digging through my wallet I pulled out my credit card. The cashier and I did an exchange of cards. She swiped my credit card; again she shook her head.

“I’m sorry ma’am,”

I counted out my cash; I was able to cover it. With my hands full of bags and my mind half in a panic I headed back to the car.

“I thought you were just going to get a bed!” Nick said, hopping out of the car to help me.

“She needs this stuff,” I explained. I was still frowning.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, yet,” I said. He opened the car door for me then ran around to the driver’s side. On the way back to the condo, I dialed my bank for information.
What I found out made my heart drop into my stomach.
My bank account was at zero; my credit card had been closed.

I had a feeling I knew who the culprit was.

---------------------------------------

As Bitsy lay at my feet, gnawing happily on a nylon bone, I was on the phone with my lawyer.

“I know Hunter wiped my account,” I said. “He’s the only one that had access.”

“Did you have joint checking?”

“No, but I put his name on my personal account as a secondary before I left for my job,” I closed my eyes. “He said if anything happened he needed access to keep the bills paid.”

I cracked my knuckles. I felt like an idiot. Nick walked by, raising an eyebrow in question. I shook my head.

“Well, I’m going to have to do some checking. When can we meet in person?”

“I’ll be back by noon on July 5. I can meet with you late afternoon.”

“Alright, I’ll see you at 3:00 on July 5.”

I hung up and let out a frustrated scream. Bitsy paused, a string of drool coming out of her little mouth.

“What did he say?”

“He said he’d look into it. I can’t believe I forgot I put Hunter’s name on my personal account.” I buried my face in my hands.

“Have you gotten paid yet for the internship?” Nick asked. I nodded.

“He walked away with over thirteen thousand dollars,” I said bitterly. Nick winced.

“And the credit card?”

“It’s maxed out. I have to print out all the charges and mark ones I need to put a fraud alert on.”

“Have you looked at any of the charges yet?”

I peeked at him through my fingers. “Yeah, it looks like him and Jess went on a nice little shopping spree.”

Nick frowned. “Was his name on the card?”

“No, he must have had Jess pretend to be Mrs. Ryans. You know how places are, they never ask for ID.”

Nick knelt down beside me, scratching Bitsy’s ears.

“Do you think this is retaliation for breaking his nose?” Nick asked. I smirked.

“No, I have a feeling he’s punishing me.”

“For what?”

“For finding someone so much better than him.”

Nick smiled softly.

“He should of thought this out a little better,” Nick said.

“Well, he’s done a pretty good job so far,” I said bitterly.

“No,” Nick paused. “He made a huge mistake.”

“No one’s going to mess with you while I’m around.”

He took my hands from my face and kissed me softly.

He meant business.

Chapter Forty Two – July 1

I woke up early in the morning to the sound of a very distressed puppy. Nick grumbled as I moved his hand from my thigh. I stood up and padded down the hallway towards the noise.

As I neared the staircase, the noise grew louder. My eyes were bleary. I had spent a great deal of the previous afternoon going over my credit card statement. Hunter had a field day with my credit card; from restaurants to shopping he had spent with a vengeance. The whole mess way going to take weeks to sort out and I had a bad feeling I’d have to get face to face with Hunter before everything was all over.

I looked down the stairs, thinking perhaps Bitsy had given up dangling and jumping from step to step and was whining to get picked up. The stairs were empty. The noise was close; I looked around in confusion. My eyes widened when I spotted her.

“Oh!” I exclaimed. The little pup had gotten her head stuck between two narrow bars on the stair landing.

I leaned down, my fingers trying to squeeze between the bars and wiggle her neck. This only increased the whining to a heart-wrenching screech.

“What’s going on?” Nick said with a yawn. His hair was pointing in every direction; his boxers were half hanging off his rump.

“Bitsy got her head stuck!” I said. I touched the front of her face, pushing gently. She snorted and drooled, but her head didn’t move an inch.

“Oh my god,” Nick said. “What do we do?”

I looked at him panicked. “I don’t know!”

Nick’s brow furrowed. Then he snapped his fingers.

“We bought butter!” he said, running down the steps. I heard the refrigerator open and bottles being shifted around. Moments later Nick was running back up the stairs.

I took the butter. “Oh, she’s not going to like this,” I said. Dipping my fingers into the tub I liberally grabbed a hunk of butter. Slowly I massaged it around her neck. She began to turn her head this way and that, her back legs kicking out in annoyance. As I reached in to grab yet another handful, I saw her butt give a great wiggle and her head slide out.

“Yes!” I cried in triumph. Bitsy took off like a caged animal set free, but Nick was just a little bit quicker. With a war cry, he held the wiggling buttery piglet over his head. I held up greasy fingers; we looked at each other.

“Bathtub,” we said in unison.

I took Bitsy from him; Nick ran the water in the tub. He slid a baggy over his cast.

“Are you ready for us to leave yet?” I teased.

“Well, it’s not often I wake up at 8 a.m. when I have nothing to do,” Nick said. He laughed. “But truth is, I’m going to be miserable when you leave.”

I smiled.

A few minutes later he reached out. “We’re ready.”

I handed Bitsy over and ran to get the puppy shampoo I had bought the day before, thankful for the good timing. Getting butter out of a dog without shampoo would have been a nightmare. I came back and poured it liberally, Nick rubbed it in. Bitsy closed her eyes. She was a lucky dog; not every pup received a sensual Carter massage.

Once she was washed and rinsed, I grabbed a fluffy towel. She buried into it, snorting in glee as I rubbed her dry. It was one of the good things about Boston Terriers; their short fur allowed them to dry in no time at all. I set her down and she ran off to explore; I was positive she wouldn’t be attempting to look through the staircase bars anytime soon.

I was watching her run back and forth by the door. I assumed Nick was emptying the tub; I was wrong.

“Oh, Livvy,” he said sweetly. I turned around.

“Wha---“

A huge pile of bubbles flew in my face. I shrieked.

“Nick!”

He took my moment of distraction to scoop me up. I heard the shower turn on.

“It’s your turn, miss butter fingers.”

He set me down, sliding the door closed behind him. In seconds my PJs were soaked completely through.

“You,” I said, wiping watery suds from my eyes, “are crazy.”

“Am I?” he asked sweetly as he slipped off his boxers. He reached towards me.

“I don’t know about this, Nick,” I said. “We’ll be slippery.”

“Uh-huh. Your point?”

“I don’t want you to fall and break your other hand!”

He slid my pajama top over my head.

“I’m not worried.”

As the warm water rushed over his shoulders, I succumbed to temptation. Nick poured body wash in his hands and with slow circular movements started at my shoulders, working his way down. My head fell back, the spray cascading down through my hair. He continued his downward descent, sinking to his knees. Expert fingertips sent my legs aquiver.

“Nick,” I moaned as I braced my hand against the tile wall. Under the gentle spray, the body wash was washed away only to be replaced by kisses and a dutiful tongue.

My body was like a coil. As Nick continued his thorough cleansing, I felt myself growing tighter and tighter until I couldn’t contain myself. Nick took the cue and standing back up, his mouth met mine with urgency. Leaning against the wall for support, I wrapped my legs around his waist. I had never made love in the shower; Nick certainly changed that. It was the best shower I had ever taken.

As he wrapped me in a big fluffy white towel, he held onto the openings, his eyes traveling down my body. I was already red from the water, but I felt myself growing warmer.

“I don’t know how I can do this,” Nick said with a sigh, tucking the towel to my body.

“Do what?”

He looked at me; his eyes spoke volumes.

“I don’t know how I’m going to be able to say goodbye to you in three days.”

“I know the feeling,” I said. I ran another towel over his shoulders, watching the beads of water soak up into the soft cotton.

After more than a month of seeing Nick every single day, the thought that I would have to wake up and not be able to talk to him or touch him killed me.

I prayed that time would slow down.

-----------------------------------

That evening we took Bitsy on her very first trip to the beach. At first she pounced and jumped, barking gleefully as the waves rushed on shore and the seagulls swooped down from overhead. After awhile the newness of these objects wore off. Deciding sand would be much more fun to eat than to walk on, she took a large bite.

“Ew,” I said. Nick laughed.

The look on her little face was priceless. Her tongue flew in and out of her mouth rapidly; she worked hard to get the granules off of her tongue. Eventually she realized that by licking her legs, the sand would move from her tongue to her appendages. As the last of the sand escaped her mouth, she flopped down exhausted.

“So much for that bath this morning,” Nick said.

We sat down on either side of Bitsy. I slid off my flip-flops, squishing the sand between my toes.

“Liv,” Nick said. “I didn’t want to ask, but I won’t feel good if I don’t. Do you have enough money for when you get back home?”

I blanched. I had hoped he wouldn’t ask me that question.

“I’ll be fine,” I answered. “I’m going to stay with my mom, so I won’t have rent. More than likely, my car will be going bye-bye, but I can borrow my mom’s. Plus, I’ll have two paychecks before I meet up with you guys in Washington.”

“I could give---“

I cut him off. “Nick, seriously, I’ll be fine.”

“Well maybe you could use one of my lawyers---“
I shook my head. “Mom’s got good legal connections; I’ll be okay.” He sighed.

“If you need help, will you ask?”

I looked at him. I couldn’t lie to him.

“No.”

He grinned. “You’re stubborn.”

I returned the smile. “Yes, I am.”

We were quiet for a few seconds; Bitsy began to snore.

“Hey Liv?” Nick asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

“You talk about your mom a lot; I was wondering, what happened to your dad?”

I picked up a handful of sand. I watched as it sifted through my fingers. My eyes grew misty.

“He had a heart attack about a year and a half ago,” I said in a voice barely above a whisper. “It happened all of a sudden; one minute we were at a cookout, and the next minute…” I trailed off. My voice cracked. “He was gone.”

Nick’s hand touched my arm.

“I’m so sorry.”

I nodded, blinking back tears.

“I was a daddy’s girl…well I was a mommy and daddy’s girl. But God,” I closed my eyes to stem the flood of tears. “I miss him so much.”

Being careful not to squish Bitsy, Nick scooted closer to me, wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulders. He kissed my temple.

After my tears subsided, I looked up at Nick. He was watching me quietly.

“He used to get so annoyed when I put your music on replay; one day I think I listened to Drowning about nine hundred times,” I laughed. “Still, I think he would have liked you.”

Nick smiled. “Anyone that played a part in bringing you to Earth has a dear place in my heart.” He kissed me softly. I kissed back then raised my eyes heavenward.

The stars lit up the night sky; the brightest one reminded me of the twinkle in my dad’s eye.

I knew I was right where I needed to be.

Chapter Forty Three – July 2

“Happy Birthday, to you. Happy Birthday, to you. Happy Birthday, dear O-liv-ia. Happy Birthday, to you!”

I was truly corrupting a Backstreet Boy. It was yet another morning when Nick was up early. I rubbed my eyes; I hadn’t heard him get out of bed.

“Ta-da!” he said proudly. He was balancing a tray awkwardly.

“Did you make me breakfast?” I asked, sitting up. He nodded.

“Yes, I did.” He placed the tray on my lap. “I went with a yellow theme.”

I saw scrambled eggs, pineapple juice, and toast with lots of yellow butter. In the corner of the tray a yellow rose sat in a clear vase.

“It smells amazing,” I said. “Where’s yours?”

Nick smiled sheepishly. “I ate it.”

I laughed, taking a bite of toast.

“How does it feel to be twenty-seven?”

I paused thoughtfully.

“Very good,” I said. “Last year I never would have thought I would wake up on my twenty-seventh birthday in Nick Carter’s bed.”

His eyes sparkled as he sat beside me. I continued to munch on my color coordinated breakfast. After I finished, I set the tray gently on the nightstand.

“Ready for your birthday spanking?” Nick asked sweetly.

My eyes widened. “You wouldn’t.”

He dived under the sheet I was still wrapped in. I squealed as he flipped me over and began to playful smack my backside.

“Fifteen, sixteen,” he counted.

I gasped for breath; my fingers dug into the pillow.

“Twenty-one, twenty-two.”

“NICK!”

“Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven.”

His hand was replaced by lips on my lower back. I flipped back around.

“You don’t play fair,” I complained.

“You didn’t complain about that last night,” he retorted. I didn’t have a comeback.

He sat back up, yanking the sheet from me.

“Get up and get dressed.”

“Why?” I said, stretching out languorously.

“Because,” Nick said smiling. “I’m taking my birthday girl to LA.”

“Seriously?” I said. He laughed.

“Yes! Get dressed!”

Scrambling up, I headed to the bathroom. Bitsy, a piece of egg stuck to her ear, bounced after me.

-------------------------------

“I cannot believe I’m standing on the Walk of Fame,” I said later that afternoon. I was standing on Lucille Ball’s star.

“I would kill to be that star right now,” Nick said, looking down at my bare legs. Due to the warm temperatures, I had opted for a spaghetti strap sundress. It flowed gently around my knees. I smacked his shoulder.

“This is Lucille Ball!” I hissed, pointing down.

“You’re the one standing on her!” Nick countered.

He took my hand and we walked along. I stopped often, pointing out this name and that.

At one point I looked over to see Nick looking at me strangely.

“What?” I asked haughtily.

“It’s just,” he tilted his head. “You’re like a breath of fresh air. You actually make me excited to be here. I’ve taken a lot of things for granted lately.”

I beamed. “That’s what happens when you hang with an L.A. virgin.”

Nick laughed.

After we finished with the Walk of Fame, Nick took me to Rodeo Drive.

“Rodeo Drive, baby,” I said, thinking of the movie Pretty Woman.

We walked through Armani, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana, and Ralph Lauren. I couldn’t help but stay on the lookout for stars, even though the most important celebrity was the one standing right next to me. Every so often Nick would pick out a shirt or purse, giving me a questioning look. Knowing the way his mind worked, I shook my head. Along with the Rodeo Drive location came swank prices.

As we headed farther down, we ended up in Two Rodeo, which is essentially the outdoor mall portion that tourists flock to see. Nick stopped outside Tiffany’s. The doorway was trimmed in black; the name was etched in gold above.

“Come in with me,” he said.

“Nick, this is Tiffany’s,” I explained as if he didn’t already know it.

“Yes?”

I didn’t know what else to say. Instead I let him lead me inside. The inside was absolutely opulent; I would have felt way underdressed but the sight of a few tourists in awful floral shirts kept me from being too self conscious.

I stayed close to Nick’s side; he slowly perused the cases. There were so many diamonds that I thought I’d be blinded by the combination of light and prisms.

“May I help you?” a saleswoman asked, walking up to Nick. Nick straightened and turned in her direction.

“Yes,” he said. I looked at him in surprise. “I’m Nick Carter, I called earlier…”

“Oh, yes. Mr. Carter. Follow me.”

I gave Nick a questioning look. With a little shrug he took my hand, following the lady to a far corner of the room.

“Sit,” Nick said, pointing to a plush chair. I lowered myself down slowly, my eyes still on him.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Nick didn’t respond. The saleswoman came back, handing him an already prepared blue bag.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Anytime, Mr. Carter,” she said addressing him. She turned to look at me. “You’re a very lucky lady,” she said before approaching her next customer.

My eyes widened. “Nick?”

“Don’t panic, I just got you a little something,” Nick explained as he knelt beside me, handing me the bag.

“Why? You got me Bitsy!” I said, perhaps a little too loudly. I saw a couple of heads turn my way. Lowering my voice, I practically hissed. “Nick this is Tiffany’s. Nothing’s little in here!”

“Just open it,” Nick said, pushing at the bag.

With a nervous sigh, I reached in, pulling out the signature blue box with white satin ribbon. Slowly, I untied the ribbon, letting it drop across my lap. Nick was still kneeling in front of me, his hand on my knee. I looked at him again.

“I’m horrible at surprises,” Nick said. “Just open it.”

Making every motion minute, I lifted the lid. Nestled in light blue satin was a gorgeous double heart tag pendant. The larger heart had the words Love You repeated over and over again. The smaller heart was inscribed with Let Me Count the Ways.

“Do you like it?” Nick asked. I looked at him again.

“Nick, this is beautiful,” I said. I lifted the chain, letting the pendants shine in the light. He took it from me gently.

“Lift your hair,” he said. Pulling my hair away from my neck, I let him fasten it around my neck.

“You really shouldn’t have,” I said, my voice thick with emotion.

He leaned over me, giving me an upside down kiss.

“I feel better knowing you’ll have my love wrapped around your neck when you have to leave,” he said, his lips brushing mine as he talked. I touched his face, pulling him in for another kiss.

After a few more minutes of PDA, we walked back out into the sunshine. I touched the pendants gently as we walked, my mind reeling. For the rest of the day, Nick continued the role of tour guide, showing me Sunset Strip and Beverly Hills. We dined at a little out of the way Italian restaurant. It was like a scene out of Lady and the Tramp. We shared a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs. The noodles were the longest I had ever seen; more than once our forks twirled the same strand. By the end of the dinner I was loaded up on spaghetti sauce and red wine; my head and heart felt light.

“You got me tipsy,” I complained as he walked me back out to the car.

“That’s okay,” Nick said. “I’m sober.”

The edges of my vision were slightly fuzzy, but in a good way. As Nick slid into the driver’s seat, I rested a hand on his leg.

“You’re going to take advantage of me,” I murmured, sliding my hand up to his thigh. He sucked in a breath.

“I think that might be the other way around,” Nick said as I caressed him. I giggled; it was something I never did. The wine was working fast.

“How fast can you drive home?”

Nick kicked the car into gear. My hands continued to play.

“I want you,” I said huskily. His foot hit the accelerator.

Luckily for him, he didn’t meet any cops along the way; he made it back to his condo in record time. After getting warmed up in the car, we tripped inside, laughing. I ran to the kitchen; a can of whipped cream was stashed at the very back. I held it up to him, grinning.

“Time for my birthday dessert.”

Chapter Forty Four – July 3 / July 4

I woke up the next morning with the taste of maraschino cherries in my mouth and my entire body feeling like a devoured ice cream sundae. It had been an amazing night.

The bad part was that I had only 48 hours left with Nick. I glanced at the clock; it was only 8:30. Taking care to not disturb Nick, I crawled out of bed. After walking Bitsy around outside (she was slowly getting the idea of potty training), we came back in. A dish of dog food and a bowl of fresh water later, she was down for a mid-morning nap. It didn’t seem like a bad idea. I crawled back into bed.

The next time I looked at the clock it was a quarter ‘til noon. I looked over; Nick was still asleep. I nudged him gently.

“Nick, it’s almost noon!”

“Good,” he mumbled.

“Half the day’s gone!”

“We’ll just stay up later,” he rationalized; his eyes refused to open.

I cuddled up to him. I ran my fingers over his bristly stubble. He opened an eye, glancing my way. I lifted my fingers in a wave.

“Something tells me I’m not going to get away with being lazy all day,” he said, stretching. I shook my head.

He let out a great yawn and looked out at the sunshine spilling in between the draped doors. “Looks like a good day for boating.”

I smiled, thinking of the pictures downstairs on the hall stand. “Sounds great to me,” I responded.

We took our time showering and getting ready. By the time we were ready to go, it was almost three o’clock. Nick drove down to a nearby marina.

“I keep one of my boats here,” he explained.

I was picturing in my mind the old fashioned ship from the video I Got You. Truth is, I had rarely traded my land legs for a pair of water wings. I had been on two boats in my entire life, and one of them was the type toddlers sit in and go around a metal lagoon in the middle of a county fair.

When we walked up to Nick’s boat docked at the harbor, I noticed it wasn’t near as large as the one in the video. It was a sailboat. Nick watched my reaction.

“My speed boats are in Florida,” he explained. “This wind’s perfect for a day of old fashioned sailing.”

He climbed on board. I was still looking at the bobbing vessel. He held out his hand.

“Get your daisy dukes up here,” he said. Grabbing his hand I let him pull me aboard.

He had rolled up the cuffs of his jeans and topped it off with a white t-shirt. I had opted for shorts and one of his t-shirts, tied at my waist. The laundry I had to do when I got home was astronomical.

We walked along the boat; he gave me a lesson on the higher points of the nautical world.

“We’re on the deck,” Nick explained, stomping his foot on the floor. “The big sail is the main sail and it can be turned with the boom. The mast supports both sails. The smaller one is the jib.”

“Jib,” I repeated nodding. “Got it.”

After a preliminary check to make sure all parts were in working order, Nick walked over to the wheel. I lay out on the floor of the sparkling deck.

The afternoon was absolutely amazing. I had feared that I might get seasick; I didn’t feel the least bit queasy. The wind whipped through my hair and the boat sliced through the water with ease. After awhile, Nick had us on a straight course with no obstacles in sight. He came and stretched out by me.

“What do you think?”

I looked at him. He had propped his sunglasses on top of his head. His eyes were amazing.

“How is it that sometimes your eyes are so blue and other times they’re green?” I asked.

He laughed. “Is that what you’re so busy thinking about?”

I smiled. “Besides completely enjoying this day, yes, that’s where my mind’s at.”

He flipped over onto me. I rested my leg gently against his side. He nibbled my bottom lip.

“We could crash,” I teased.

“I don’t know anyone else I’d rather be shipwrecked with,” he said. His hand slid along my bare stomach.

“I like this shirt,” he said, giving the knot a tug.

“It’s yours,” I said, laughing.

“It looks so much better on you.”

I allowed myself to get swept up in a make out session in the middle of the ocean. It took another’s boat horn to pull us out of our reverie.

“I better turn around and head to shore,” Nick said. It was growing dark.

We didn’t get back home until about nine o’clock that evening. Bitsy was a ball of pent up energy. She streaked through the house, barking happily.

“Tomorrow’s the big fireworks show on the beach,” I said. Nick nodded.

“Usually I love to be here for it,” Nick said.

“Usually?”

“I just know that once the show’s over I have only a few hours left with you.”

I nodded in understanding. We went to bed with Bitsy still tearing around and around various rooms, rolling, tumbling, and playing in her own happy world. I wanted to cherish every moment we had left.

----------------------------

I awoke to the sound of loud cracks and pops coming from the beach. Groaning, I rolled over, snuggling up to Nick’s back.

“Ignore it,” he mumbled. I buried my face into his shoulder.

Another loud display started up a half hour later. This time, Bitsy emerged from wherever she had collapsed from exhaustion the night before. She ran right into the glass doors leading out to the balcony. I turned around at the sound of the dud; she sat there looking extremely confused. I laughed.

“I can’t ignore it any longer,” I said. I slid out of bed.

“I’m going to take Bitsy for a walk,” I said to the massive lump in the bed.

Nick grunted in response.

Sliding on a robe over my pajamas, I clipped Bitsy’s pink leash to her pink collar and we took off down the beach. I was on the lookout for anyone playing with bottle rockets; I wanted to keep Bitsy as far away from the commotion as possible. When we turned the corner, I saw people up ahead.

“That’s our cue to head back home Itsy Bitsy,” I said. She dug her back legs into the sand, but she wasn’t able to gain any traction. Reluctantly she let me turn her around and we headed back to the condo.

Nick still wasn’t up by the time we headed back to the bedroom. I took a shower; when I came out, he was still hibernating.

“Are you going to spend my last day here sleeping?” I said.

“I was hoping I could sleep until, oh, August,” Nick mumbled. “Then you’d be back already.”

“No,” I said, tugging the sheet off his head. “That would just mean you missed your flight to Washington.”

He rolled over on his back, staring up at me. I smiled.

“Up and at ‘em, Carter.”

While he took a shower, I made an early lunch. As I finished spreading mustard on the French bread we had finally gotten around to thawing, Nick walked into the kitchen. He had on a white tank top, blue jeans, and red sneakers.

“Hey, Mr. Patriotic,” I said, handing him a sandwich. He smiled and took a large bite.

“AJ called as I was stepping out of the shower. He and Rochelle will be here in about an hour. AJ said he’s bringing a game and they want to stay for fireworks,” Nick said.

“Should I be worried about this game?” I asked. Nick grinned.

“Most likely, yes.”

-------------------------

“Naughty Charades?” I said, staring down at the box.

“Yeah, we bought it at the porn store,” AJ said, proudly. I looked at him like he was crazy. Nick was grinning; once again I was highly amusing him.

“There’s three categories,” Rochelle explained. “Sexy Things, Sexy Activities, and Wild Card. You find out which category you have to do by rolling the dice. Sexy Things are sex objects, Sexy Activities are verbs, and Wild Card can be anything!”

“I vote that Livvy starts us off,” Nick said, suppressing a laugh. I glared at him.

“Hey we’re a team!” Nick said, holding up his hands.

Rochelle held out the dice. “Go ahead!”

Biting my tongue, I took the dice and gave them a good shake. I tossed it down; the dice landed on Sexy Activities. Rochelle handed me the box of cards. Taking the first one in the deck I looked at my verb; booty call.

I turned to look at Nick. His eyes were sparkling; the blues and greens mixing together. He was loving every minute.

I bit my lip. AJ started the timer. With a frustrated sigh, I mimed talking on a telephone.

“Sex line?” Nick guessed. I shook my head.

“Phone sex?”

I shook my head. I heard the timer ticking away. Reluctantly I turned around, placing a hand on my butt.

“Five seconds!” AJ called.

“Butt phone…butt phone,” Nick murmured. Her hands were folded in concentration. With just a second to spare, he clapped his hand.

“Booty call!”

I looked at him in surprise. “That’s it!”

“Woohoo!”

I sat down next to him, glad my turn was over.

By the time the game was over, I was laughing hysterically. Watching AJ mime out a penis pump and Nick demonstrating the finer aspects of spooning was almost too much to handle. At the sound of the first fireworks lighting up the sky we declared a tie and headed out for the show.

Rochelle and I leaned back against AJ and Nick respectively as reds, blues, greens, golds, and every other color of the rainbow lit up the sky above the ocean. The beach had never been so crowded; couples young and old and children ran to and fro. I felt Nick kiss the top of my head.

“What time does your flight leave?” he whispered.

“Four a.m.,” I responded. He groaned.

“Stay.”

My palms ran over his knees. “I can’t,” I said. It hurt me to say it.

Nick pulled me a little closer; we watched the last of the fireworks hang in the night for several moments. At last, there was nothing but blackness.

A tear slipped down my cheek.

Chapter Forty Five – July 5

The goodbye at the airport was agonizing. We clung to each other until the last boarding call was announced. I had vowed not to cry, but as I pulled away I couldn’t help it.

“I’ll see you soon,” I blubbered. Nick brushed his fingers down my cheeks.

“I love you,” he whispered. “Have a safe trip.”

With one final embrace, one last kiss, I boarded the plane. Bitsy was tucked away in her cage; my heart panged knowing how scared she probably was.

I spent the flight the best way I knew how; I reviewed footage from the tour, photos taken over the last few days, and allowed Nick’s voice to invade my eardrums through the songs on my IPod. By the time the plane touched down in Wisconsin, I felt only slightly better.

My mom was front and center as I walked off the plane. She ran over, her slender frame crushing me from a tight embrace.

“Oh, pumpkin! Look at you!”

She held me at arms length, looking at me from head to toes.

“You look great!” Her fingers touched my necklace.

“Nick gave it to me for my birthday,” I explained.

“Oh, he is a keeper,” she said happily.

We grabbed my bags and Bitsy and headed to the car. My mom’s face was glued to the cage.

“Oh she’s beautiful. She looks just like the Boston we had when you were first born,” she said. “Look at that white little forehead.”

Bitsy whined; I knew she couldn’t wait to escape from the cage. The moment I was in the car I let her out. She ran around the backseat like a wild beast.

“Oh, she’s going to be fun,” my mom said. I smiled. “How’s Atari?”

“Atari’s fine. He’s never going to know what hit him once he meets Wild Thing back there,” she teased.

“It’s going to be fun watching her walk in the grass; she’s so used to sand.”

The mention of sand led into a long conversation about Nick’s condo, the beach, and LA. My mom looked over at me, smiling.

“What an adventure.”

“You can say that again.”

When we arrived home, the first thing I did was put Bitsy in the backyard. As her paws touched the bright green Midwestern grass, she leaned down, inhaling deeply. She took a large bite. It must have tasted better than the sand did; she sat chewing thoughtfully, then reached for more.

“No, you little cow!” I said, scooping her up. She licked my face. I wrinkled my nose, but laughed. My phone rang as I put her back down on the ground.

“Hello?”

“Are you home, Livvy?”

I smiled. “I just got home, Nick,” I said.

“Did you have a safe flight?”

“I did,” I said, sitting down on the back stoop. “What are you up to?”

“Well, I’m sitting in front of the TV watching a fishing show,” Nick said. “It’s way too quiet here.”

“That’s because you don’t have a crazy dog running around.”

“True, but it’s also because you’re not here.”

I closed my eyes and sighed gently.

“What time do you meet with the lawyer?” Nick asked, changing the subject.

My eyes widened; I looked at my watch. It was 2:45.

“Oh shit, Nick I’ve got to go!” I hung up and with Bitsy at my heels, I flew into the house, yelling for car keys.

----------------------------------------

“I am so sorry I’m late,” I said as I walked into Daniel Share’s office. The whole place was wall to wall shiny oak.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Have a seat.”

I sat into a plush leather seat across from his desk. We began by discussing the specifics; reason for divorce, assets to fight for, documents to gather. Finally, he flipped towards the back of the folder.

“I’ve looked into the emptying of the bank account and the credit card charges. Did you file a fraud alert with your company?”

I nodded.

“Good. I actually worked with one of the stores to get video of one of the transactions you highlighted as fraudulent. You’re assumption was right; Mr. Ryans had another woman sign the receipt with your name.”

My hand folded into a fist. “I thought so.”

“Now, the bank account is going to be harder to fix. Since Hunter’s name is on the account, I think the most we’ll be able to get back is half.”

I frowned. “That’s not fair. I just completed a job that paid me $10,000 and I earned that. All of that money came solely from me.”

Mr. Share looked at me sympathetically. “Divorces are never easy and unfortunately sometimes it’s easier to cut your losses and move on.”

I puffed out my cheeks in frustration.

“When can I get the half back?”

“I’ve put in a deposition. We have a court date in two weeks.”

“How am I supposed to pay my bills for two weeks? He completely wiped me out!”

I got another apologetic look. “I will work my hardest to speed things up, but honestly I can’t make any promises.”

After a few more minutes of cursory information, I left feeling no more assured than when I went in. I drove home feeling extremely depressed. A light muggy rain splattered against the windshield.

“How’d it go?” Mom asked as I walked through the door. She was picking spurs out of Bitsy’s back.

Atari came running up to me. Scooping him up, I covered him with kisses. Sitting down on the couch, I filled mom in on the meeting. She frowned.

“Well, as far as I’m concerned you will have food, shelter, and clothing. You can borrow my car. You’ll be fine.”

I nodded, but deep down I hated it. I didn’t want to be dependant. I was a twenty-seven year old living back home. It didn’t feel good.

“Are you excited about going back to work?”

I smiled. “Actually, I am. I miss the kids. I miss the stories. I miss the other employees.”

I helped my mom fix dinner; as I cut cucumbers for the salad, my mom continued to ask me questions about Nick.

“So when will I get to meet him?” she asked. I paused.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “Maybe after we finish the Canadian leg he can come here and visit.”

Mom smiled. “I’d like that. From what I remember he’s hot stuff.”

I burst out laughing. She didn’t know how right she was.

That night as I got ready for bed, my phone rang. It was Nick. I sat down on the pullout bed in the computer room, a smile dancing across my face.

“Hello, Nickolas,” I said.

“You don’t know how good it is to hear your voice.”

I laughed. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to see how your day went.”

I remembered our conversation on the beach. I didn’t want him to know how depressing the visit to the lawyer was.

“It didn’t go too bad,” I said. “I’m actually just getting ready for bed.”

“What are you wearing?”

I laughed. Atari jumped up beside me, circling several times before plopping down. Bitsy, unable to jump, barked angrily. After a couple hours with Atari, Bitsy was in love. I scooped down at picked her up. Atari grunted in annoyance as she nipped at his ear.

“I’m wearing footie pajamas,” I teased. I scratched a mosquito bite on my bare leg. Truth was, I was lounging in a t-shirt and underwear.

“You’re lying,” Nick complained. “You’re in Wisconsin not in Antarctica; I know it’s warm there. I watch the Weather Channel, you know.”

I rolled my eyes as I stretched out along the bed. I turned off the light; the soft glow of the phone threw shadows against the wall.

“Good luck at work tomorrow,” Nick said sweetly.

“Thanks babe,” I said, stifling a yawn.

“Can we Skype tomorrow?” he asked hopefully.

“You miss me that bad?” I teased. He got quiet.

“I miss you like hell,” he said seriously.

“I’ll Skype around 5:00 your time,” I said. My eyes fluttered closed.

“Alright. I love you, Livvy.”

“Love you.”

I set my phone on the nightstand. Bringing my pillow close to my chest, I inhaled deeply. A sharp pang of sadness hit me. The smell of Nick was nowhere to be found.

Sleep did not come easily; after two hours of tossing and turning and the dogs fighting for the best spot, my tired brain finally admitted defeat. Morning would bring yet another change in direction for me; it was back to the real world.

Chapter Forty Six – July 6

I could barely eat breakfast the next morning; it was like the first day of school nerves all over again. I nibbled at a piece of toast, my eyes checking the clock continuously. I was literally exhausted; the two hour time difference was catching up with me.

Finally, I kissed my mom and the dogs goodbye and drove the short ten minutes to the Wakamata Library. The library was small, but modern. A renovation only eight years ago made it seem much newer than it really was. The city of Wakamata has proudly been served by the library for well over 100 years.

After locking my car, I headed to the elegant front doors. I walked in slowly, looking around at my old familiar home away from home.

“Oh my goodness! Olivia!”

I looked over at the Circulation Desk. Sally, a lady who had been with the library for over twenty years was still there. It was a welcome sight. I smiled brightly as she ran over and gave me a hug.

“They said you were coming back. I just didn’t know it was today!”

We talked briefly. Finally I excused myself to clock in and head downstairs to the Children’s Room.

I had loved the Children’s Room from the moment I had first stepped into it. My mom had taken me to story times when I was little; it was kind of sentimental that I was now the one leading the story time. The entire area was decorated with an undersea theme; fish danced along the walls and a sailboat sat in the center of the room with benches for the children to sit and read.

The Children’s Services supervisor, Lily, sat behind the desk checking in a whole stack of new books to put out. When she saw me, her face lit up. She jumped up and came around to give me a hug. The library had always been a pretty “huggy” place.

“I taught you well,” she said. Lily was of retirement age, but her dedication to the job prevented her from even saying the word “retirement.” I had a great deal of respect for her; she gave me my first job and she had fought tooth and nail to keep me from getting fired. I grinned.

“You always told me to drive a hard bargain,” I said. “No way was I going to come back without them meeting my terms.”

I walked with her behind the desk. She picked up my nametag from the island. “I never threw it away.”

I slipped it over my head. For the next hour I
sat with her catching up on everything I had missed.

“A couple people have just gotten fed up with the situation and left,” Lily explained. “Of course, they don’t replace the jumpers. I think every single one of us here has had to work a different department in the last two months. It’s the first time I’ve seen a desk with a sign directing people to another desk because there wasn’t enough staff to work each area.”

I looked around. For a summer, the decorations in the room were threadbare at best.

“Thank goodness the summer reading theme this year is water,” Lily said, reading my mind. “We didn’t have time to decorate so we relied on our everyday decor.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a mother walk down with two adorable twins. The little boy and girl had identical smiles and flaxen hair. Their eyes lit up when they saw me.

“Mrs. W-yans!”

Two sets of feet ran through the library. I didn’t have the heart to remind them not to run. I walked around the desk just in time to have their little arms hug my legs. When they let go, I kneeled down to their level.

“Well look at you two,” I said. “You’ve gotten so tall since the last time I saw you.”

Little Ashton and Ruby had been in my story time before I was fired. Their mother walked up, smiling brightly.

“We heard you were hired back,” she said. “The kids couldn’t wait to come by and say hi.”

Ashton held up a plastic train. He was obsessed. “Can you show me train booooks?” he asked, stretching out the word “books” as he always did.

“Let’s see if I remember where they are,” I said. He grabbed my hand and I walked back through the stacks right to the train section.

I had almost forgotten how rewarding a happy child holding a book could be.

--------------------------

After a day of reuniting with co-workers and trying to quickly create programming that would begin the next week, I was exhausted. At seven o’clock I booted up my computer. I had a Skype promise to keep.

In five minutes I was staring at Nick’s face.

“You look exhausted,” he said right away.

“Well, hello to you too,” I said with a laugh.

“How was your first day?”

“Exhausting,” I admitted. “But, it was kind of fun being back. I’ve made a lot of friends over the years.”

“Who couldn’t love you?” Nick said.

“Shut up,” I laughed.

“I’m serious.”

I smiled; instinctively I touched the necklace around my neck. He sighed.

“I want to kiss you so bad.”

I puckered up, touching my lips gently to the screen.

“Not the same,” he complained. I shrugged.

“So does anyone know how you’ve spent the last month?” he asked, changing the subject.

“I told my supervisor and a few other people,” I admitted. “Of course, I think the thing that exhausted me the most today was answering questions about Hunter. They’ve seen him around town with Jess.”

Nick frowned. “The idiot thinks he’s pretty ballsy, doesn’t he?”

I nodded. “Of course, he also has been telling people that I had been cheating on him for over six months. He’s trying to play the sympathy card.”

“Is it working?”

I shook my head. “Not with the people I work with. They’ve always had my back.”

“If I was there---“ Nick began. I shook my head.

“I’ve already seen the results. Which reminds me, when do you get that cast off?”

Nick held up his hand. “Two weeks. The fractures have healed faster than they thought.”

“Good. Let’s try not to break it again,” I warned. He smiled.

“I don’t plan on it. I want to have two working hands when I get to hold you again.”

I felt a pleasurable warmth flow through my body.

“Mmm, and what do you plan on doing with two hands?” I teased.

He laughed huskily and began to describe a few of his, er, specialties. I was getting turned on just listening to him.

Then my mom walked in.

I slammed the lid of my laptop down fast.

“Mom!”

She had a load of laundry in her arms. “What?”

I fumbled. I was thankful the sound muted on the laptop as soon as the lid was closed. “I, er, I’m talking to Nick.”

Her eyes lit up. “Where?”

I pointed to the computer.

“Let me talk to him,” she said eagerly. I tried not to look horrified. “Er, let me warn him. Leave,” I said, motioning towards the door. Rolling her eyes, she walked out, closing the door. She left it opened a crack.

I lifted the lid.

“What happened?” Nick said. “I was just going to tell you how I was going to drip---“

“My mom wants to talk to you,” I said. I knew I must have looked flustered. Nick smiled.

“Did she walk in?” I nodded.

“Ooh, I feel so high school,” he said. I rolled my eyes. He laughed.

“Let me talk to her.”

Clearing my throat I called her in. She sat down beside me.

“Oh, how cool! Hi, Nick.” She waved at the screen. He waved back.

They spent a few minutes talking to each other; it was the weirdest experience of my life. For years she had complained about the posters of Nick and the Boys taped all over my walls and peeling off the paint when they fell down. Now, here she was, carrying on a pleasant chat. Life was so weird.

“Well, I’ll let you two continue your talk,” she finally said. “I hope to see you soon.”

“Likewise,” Nick said.

With a kiss to my temple, mom rose. This time she closed the door behind her completely. I turned back to the screen.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Nick said laughing.

“We averted disaster when I slammed the lid shut,” I said.

“Oh yes, where was I?”

“Nick!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll be good.”

I smiled. “Aren’t you going to eat dinner?”

He held up a bowl of beans. I raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve been slipping on my diet,” he explained. “I think it must have been all the milkshakes and whipped cream.”

I blushed. “So what’s that?”

“I’m on a macrobiotic diet. It calls for eating a lot of grains, vegetables, and beans. I’ve been farting all day.”

I laughed loudly. “I think this is the first time I’m actually glad I’m not there.”

“Hey! You don’t seem to complain about this rock hard bod. I’ve got to keep it in tip-top shape.”

I mentally undressed him; he had a point. I glanced at the clock, time had flown.

“I’ve got to go Nick,” I said. “I’ll leave you to your beans.”

He took a big bite. “Luff you,” he said through a mouthful.

I laughed again. “Love you too.”

Before I turned off my computer for the night, I went over to my Twitter. I broke into a huge smile.

@nickcarter I love you, Livvy!

Chapter Forty Seven – July 26

It’s surprising how fast three weeks can go when you’re insanely busy. Between meetings with the lawyer (who had managed to get $5,000 back for me), work, and missing Nick desperately, I was exhausted by eight o’clock every night.

By the end of July, it was almost like torture waking up. To make matters worse, two weeks ago I had seen no problem scheduling a program for kids at 10:30 in the morning. Now that the day had arrived, I doubted my sanity. Almost fifty kids ran around waiting for the program to begin. I sat in the story time room taking deep breaths; I felt like I was going to be sick.

“You almost ready Liv?” Lily said, poking her head in through the doors. I could see that she was holding a little preschooler back by blocking the door with her foot.

I nodded; the sooner I started, the sooner I could go hide at my desk for an hour or so. Once afternoon rolled around, I was much better. But the mornings…

Fifty boys and girls between the ages of three and seven came walking in hand in hand with their parents. The room filled up quickly; pretty soon it was standing room only.

I had on a pirate costume; it was buried treasure day.

“Ahoy maties!” I said in my best “pirate.” “Are we ready to get us some treasurrrre?”

“Aye, aye Captain!” a few little voices piped up.

I launched into a really sugary speech about how books are the best treasure. I sat down on a padded stool; the little bodies scooted close. Taking a deep breath, I felt a little acid back up in my throat. Swallowing the feeling, I launched into a story. After I was finished, I looked up. I had a scavenger hunt planned and I hoped I would be able to get enough volunteers. It would be great if I could stay in the room. I didn’t think I could run through the whole library.

“Argh, me thinks I need a few adult volunteers to take these crew members on a scavenger hunt,” I called out loudly.

Ashton and Ruby’s mom was quick to volunteer. With the amount of kids I had, I needed at least eight volunteers. A few more moms volunteered; then I roped in a few dads. I was one person short.

“Argh, I think I’ll take a crew Cap’n.”

My eyes widened. Nick worked his way up to me from the back of the crowd.

A thousand things ran through my head. I longed to toss my scavenger maps and run into his arms. Instead, I stood up and handed him a map.

“You’ve got these ruffians,” I said softly, pointing out a group.

“We’ll do you proud, Cap’n,” he said, saluting.

Five minutes later all of the groups were
dispersed through the library to collect puzzle pieces and gold doubloons. The group that came back and put together the simple eight-piece puzzle first would be the “winners.” Of course, since I was dealing with preschoolers, every team would win something.

I lifted my eye patch, wiping away some sweat. My imagination had run away with me; often times in the past few weeks I had looked around the library and tried to conjure up an image of Nick standing here. Either I had been hallucinating (and sent a group of preschoolers to roam unattended), or he was actually here. I was hoping for the latter.

Nick’s group was the first one back into the room. He was like a man on a mission; the idea of competition had him pumped up. As the kids played with the pieces, he looked over and smiled at me.

“I daresay I got a good crew, Cap’n,” he said happily. I smiled.

“I’m surprised to see you here, sailor.”

“Argh, me ship landed just paces ago. I couldn’t take being stranded alone. The solitary life’s no life for me.”

“You look good,” I said. He studied me.

“If you don’t mind me saying, you’re looking a little rough around the edges. ‘Sposin’ you look a little sea sick.”

I shook my head. “No I’m---“ The acid taste came back to my mouth. This time I knew I couldn’t swallow it back down. Covering my mouth, I ran as quickly as possible to the bathroom.

If there was one thing I hated most in the world, it was throwing up. Even worse, I hated throwing up and not feeling better by doing it. Today was one of those days. As I gargled some water and wiped my sweaty face, my stomach still felt like it was tossing to and fro.

With a big sigh, I put back on my pirate hat. As I walked back to the story time room, I realized I had been in there longer than expected. I was fully prepared for a mutiny.

I slid into the room quietly, hoping that the kids might still be putting together their scavenger hunt puzzle. I quickly realized that they had completed the hunt, yet instead of seeing little monkeys ready to climb the walls, I was surprised to see the kids sitting peacefully on carpet squares.

“One day a little blue fish followed after him. ‘Rainbow Fish,’ he called, ‘wait for me! Please give me one of your shiny scales.’” Nick read out loud to the captivated readers. It must have been the sight of a male storyteller; I had never seen so many children quiet all at once. I leaned against the wall in the back of the room. His reading had a rhythmic quality; I closed my eyes. I felt like I could go to sleep standing up if it wasn’t for my gently cramping stomach.

I wouldn’t have been aware that the story was over if it hadn’t been for the loud applause. I joined in, walking to the front of the room.

“Thank you, sailor,” I said. “Wasn’t sailor Nick a good guest reader?”

The little ones all cheered out. A few of the moms who recognized him cheered even louder.

After a rousing good time of pirate bowling, lake fishing (with empty wrapping paper tubes, rope, paperclips and magnetic fish) and a coin toss, the children colored their own pirate hat. And, because everyone was a winner, I handed out gold medallion necklaces. Everyone left happy; as soon as the last child left the room, I ran into Nick’s arms.

“It’s so good to see you,” I murmured into his shoulder. He hugged me tightly.

“It’s good to see you, too,” he said. He pulled away, holding me gently by the arms. He studied my face. “What’s wrong with you? When I came in and you were reading your story, you looked green. Then you ran out of here mid-sentence and you’re pasty white.”

“Nerves,” I explained, waving my hand in the air. “The stress of worrying over whether my program is going to be successful or not always gets at me. I’ll be fine,” I said. I walked over to the craft tables with a bucket and began to scoop crayons off the table. Nick grabbed another bucket and did the same with glue sticks.

“Well, it’s almost lunch time, right?” he asked, glancing at the clock as I picked up the Pringles can bowling pins. I nodded.

“Can I take you out to lunch?” He asked. I smiled.

“You just flew over 1500 miles to see me,” I said. “How can I say no?”

We finished cleaning the room. After a brief introduction between Lily and Nick, I punched out for lunch.

“Where to?” Nick said.

“We only have one choice,” I said with a laugh. As we walked the couple blocks to the nearby café, Nick took my hand in his. We entered the café, our hands swinging gently back and forth. I snagged a small corner table. Nick pulled out my chair for me; as I sat, he kissed me softly. The place was busy as always, but for me we could have been the only two people left in the world.

“It is so weird to see you here,” I said as Nick picked up his menu. He paused, looking at me surprised.

“Why?”

“When I think of Nick Carter I don’t think of him in Wakamata, Wisconsin.”

“Where do you think of me?” Nick teased. I blushed.

“The beach, the shower, the bedroom,” I replied quietly. His eyes darkened ever so slightly.

“Well I have two out of the three at my hotel,” he said. I smiled.

We took a few minutes to look over the menu and then placed our orders. As the waitress walked away, I took a sip of water.

“How did you find the library?” I asked.

“Well, I do have a GPS,” Nick said. “But, your mom was a bigger help.”

I choked on the water. Nick sprang up, but I held out a hand.

“You were at my mom’s house?” I asked.

“Of course,” he said. “I was hoping you would have had the day off, but your mom tells me you’re practically working six days a week.”

I tried to imagine Nick standing on the front porch and mom opening the door. It was kind of hard to picture.

“How long did you stay at mom’s?”

He laughed. “She wouldn’t let me leave without eating a cinnamon roll she baked and then she brought out a photo album.”

I groaned.

“So, I got to her house around nine, but that’s why I didn’t get to the library until after the program had already started,” he explained. “By the way,” he took a sip of water. “You were an adorable little tomboy when you were little.”

“Oh, shut up,” I said. Nick laughed. “I loved the bucket on your head and the sword.”

“Those were my early pirate days,” I said in mock indignation.

Before Nick could tease me further, the waitress set down two piping hot plates of food. I had opted for a BLT sandwich; Nick had ordered a Philly Cheese Steak.

“What happened to your macrobiotic diet?” I jested. He made a face. “I couldn’t live with myself; my stomach was a nuclear bomb.”

I laughed as I picked up my sandwich. As I brought it to my mouth, the smell of bacon made my stomach do another great flip flop.

“Oh,” I said, putting it back down on my plate quickly. Nick looked up, his fork halfway to his mouth.

“What?”

“It doesn’t smell right,” I said, pushing the plate his way. He picked up the sandwich, and sniffed it. Then he took a bite.

“Mm, it’s delicious,” he said. “It smells fine; it tastes fine,” he assured me, pushing the plate back over.

I picked the sandwich up again. Like before, the moment I got ready to take a bite the smell overwhelmed me.

“I’m going to be sick,” I said in a whisper. Clamping my hand over my mouth I headed back towards the bathroom.

As I began to heave, I couldn’t help but think that this was just how I wanted to spend time with Nick after he travelled so far to see me.

Not.