July 6, 2010
Time: 12:00pm
Location: on a plane heading back to my hometown.
Emotion: Empty and sad.

Here I am on a plane to my hometown, Clewiston Florida. I don’t know what to expect when I get there. I know the rest of my brothers and sisters will be there or arriving just like me. I am the only one flying in though, since I am the only one that lives outside of Florida.

Not even two years after my father’s death I am back to this place. This time it’s for my sisters and brother in law’s funeral. I still remember clearly the call I got just the night before. I had just gone to sleep after working on my paper. It was mom’s voice I knew it as soon as I heard her voice it was not good news. “Mattie you need to come home its Emmy she’s gone.” That’s all I remember hearing clearly before she began to cry non stop. I booked a flight at that time to West Palm Beach International Airport.

I cried when my father died I did… but Emmy? It has hit me hard; she was my favorite sister I guess you can say. She is only two years older than me. I am even Evelyn’s godmother, so I know I was her favorite too. I was the one to introduce her to Bruce.

I don’t know how I am going to handle this situation, I have been drinking red bull non stop to stay awake because I am afraid of closing my eyes and seeing her. I am dreading this so much and now that I hear that we are about to land I can feel my heart begin to race. I know that I will soon see Sean and I will not be able to control my tears.

I have to go but I’ll be back to tell you how it all went, my arrival to my house. I can tell you right now it might not be a good one. I am not prepared for this… I don’t know if I will be able to face Evelyn and tell her everything is going to be ok when her mommy is no longer here.

Mattie

******

Mattie put on her sunglasses as she saw her brother Sean with red eyes standing there waiting for her. “Hey Mattie,” he spoke as he hugged her sobbing as he felt her embrace.

“How’s Evelyn?” Mattie asked as she realized that it must be really bad back at home if her brother Sean was crying. Sean was not one to cry easily.

“She won’t leave mom’s side at all.” Sean said as he helped his sister with the luggage.

“Let’s go we still have an hour drive.” Mattie said as she intertwined her arm around her brother’s.

The ride was silent till Sean sighed and looked over to her sister. “They have a will there lawyer is going to read to us.” He said trying to make conversation with his sister. He worried about Mattie the most, well everyone did. Maybe because Mattie was the one in the family who has yet to marry, he remembered clearly that the only boyfriend he ever met from Mattie was Alex but that had crashed and burned after she got accepted to the University of Wisconsin.

Now that he thought about it Alex and Mattie had been steady through high school and the last summer she spent in Clewiston. He at one point thought that Alex was going to be it for her, but then again Mattie was very unpredictable.

“A will?” Mattie asked arching her brow finally removing her sunglasses to see her brother.

“Yeah… something about they wanted Evelyn to be secure in case anything happened. You know Emmy; she was always the cautious one of us all.” He gave her a shy smile as he said it.

“True,” Mattie said smiling as well. “I’m going to miss her calls.”

“I think we all are going to miss her checking up on us. She had just gone to Orlando to visit me and Paulie.” Sean said as he continued to gaze at the road ahead of them.

“So… is everyone there yet?” Mattie bit her lip as she asked the question. She finally took of the hoodie she had on. “Ugh it’s so fucking hot.”

Sean laughed lightly as he realized that Mattie was still Mattie. “Yeah except for Anna lee and Howard.”

“Always late even in these circumstances,” Mattie said as she lit her cigarette. Anna lee was her youngest sister and everyone knew she was always the last one to everything.

Sean grabbed her sister’s hand and turned it over seeing her wrist, “When did you get this?” he asked as he looked at her tattoo. “What does it say?”

“Not long ago…” she said as she took her hand back. “Love never fails.”

“Hmm…” Sean said as he realized that Mattie was becoming one work of art. “Do you plan to fill your whole arms?”

“I don’t know maybe,” Mattie shrugged as she finished her smoke tossing out the cigarette butt.

********

Mattie sighed heavily as she saw the house in front of her. She swallowed hard as she saw some of her relatives on the porch. “I can do this,” Mattie said as she looked back at her brother who was just looking at her.

“Yes you can come on lets go.” He opened the door and opened the trunk to get her sister’s stuff.

“Sean?” Mattie said as she got off. “Don’t I just don’t think I can stay here I’ll go stay at the Holiday Inn later.”

“You sure?” Sean said as he put the luggage back into the truck.

Mattie only nodded and grabbed her tote bag. She grabbed her hoodie and stuffed into her bag. She began to walk down the pebbled walk way and almost wanted to run when she heard the voice.

“Aunt Mattie!” Evelyn said as she ran down the steps and right into her.

“Sweets,” Mattie said kneeling down and hugging her. She hugged her tightly and she knew she was crying but she couldn’t help it, she could not see Evelyn without parents. She kissed her forehead and wiped her eyes, “Let’s go inside?”

“Ok,” Evelyn said taking her hand. “Can I hold your hand aunt Mattie for now?”

“Yes of course you can sweets,” she said as she began to walk again only nodding to her family as she made it inside where her mother sat with the rest of her brothers or sisters.

**********

“She’s finally asleep,” Mattie told her sister Josie who walked into the room where Evelyn slept.

“She really loves you,” Josie said as she took a seat beside her. “You ok?”

“No,” Mattie said as tears began to come down her face. “I need to smoke and drink,” Mattie said getting up and walking to the door. “I’ll be back later. If she wakes up tell her I went to get her something.”

“Mattie… please don’t do this.” Josie said standing up showing off her round belly. This one would be her third child. “You have to talk about this not run away.”

“Just please look after her.” Mattie said walking out and down the stairs. She breathed heavily when she was out on the porch.

“You ok?” Sean asked walking up behind her.

“No let me borrow your keys, I’ll be back later.” She said as she took the keys from his hand.

“You want company?” he asked.

“Not right now sorry Sean,” she kissed his cheek and ran to the car. She turned the ignition and drove away not caring that she had burned tire.

She parked when she saw the bar; it was a new bar that was for sure because before the bar that place had been a bowling alley. “Skulls and Bones…” she read the name of it. She smiled at the name as she got out locking the car.

She walked in and inhaled feeling at ease, she wasn’t a big drinker well she did drink but it wasn’t on a daily basis but she did. She smiled as she took a seat on the bar stool. “Jack Daniels with one ice cube please,” she told the bartender.

“Here you go,” he said staring at her. “I know you from somewhere,” he said as he eyed her.

She finally looked up and met the blues staring at her and the accent was definitely very familiar. “Yeah you do… how are you Brian?” she gave him a weak smiled as she took a sip of her drink.

“I knew it… I’m good how about you Mattie?” Brian said as he got out behind the bar and walked up to her and hugging. “You look great.”

“Thanks… you don’t look bad yourself. I would’ve thought you would be in the NBA by now.” She told him as she hugged him back.

“Nope I opened my own bar and a restaurant close by… well me and Alex did.” He said not sure if he wanted to bring Alex up.

“I can’t believe he got you to agree to be his partner…” she told him as she gulped down her drink. “Another one please,” she told him handing him her glass.

She watched him as he poured her more Jack Daniels and couldn’t help smile. Brian was a good guy and good friend even if he was Alex’s best friend. “Thanks,” she told him as she took the glass. “I need this so much,” she told him.

“Yeah?” Brian asked her as he watched her take a drink.

“It’s just… it’s Emmy she was in a car accident and she passed away.” She told him she couldn’t hold the tears that began to come down her face. She wiped them away and finished her drink.

“I’m sorry Mattie,” Brian said as he remembered Emmy. “When is the funeral?”

“Tomorrow at Palms Funeral Home,” she finished her drink and gave him a weak smile. “I have to go but it was nice seeing you.” She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “How much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house,” Brian said giving her a small smile. “Later.”

*******

July 7, 2010
Time: 1:30am
Location: Holiday Inn (Fla.)
Emotion: angry, sad, and confused

I am laying here in my bed writing because I can’t sleep. I couldn’t go back to my mother’s house even if I know Evelyn would want me there. I instead got a room at the Holiday Inn. I did call my brother Sean to let him know he would not get his car back.

I had to run into an old friend today… Brian my ex’s best friend. It brought me back many memories including my relationship with Alex. I guess I have never shared with anyone that.

I guess because it’s one of those relationships where you really didn’t want to part separate ways but you kind of had to. My mother liked Alex and my brother’s did too. I was madly in love with him… he was my first boyfriend and my first everything if I remember correctly.

I didn’t ask Brian about him because I just couldn’t, especially right now that I am still trying to comprehend why god took my sister away. I don’t know how mother is going to take this me not being there, but honestly I can’t be there knowing dad isn’t there and now knowing everyone is there because of Emmy.

Well I better try and sleep a little I have to be back at moms early. I hope all this goes by fast so I can go back home to my home. Not because I don’t love my family but because I don’t like these situations at all, never did. I remember clearly that I never did I got really depressed when our Labrador died… poor Rufus.

Good night and I’ll be back to tell you how the funeral goes tomorrow.

Mattie

Mattie sighed as she put on her pumps and looked at herself on the mirror. This was Emmy’s gift many years ago she had only wore it once, but now it suited and she knew Emmy would love to see her wear this dress again. It was nice and it fit her body well plus it was black.

She grabbed her purse and walked to the lobby, “excuse me did my package come in?” she asked the clerk.

“Yes ma’am it just arrived.” She handed her the long box that said fragile.

“Thanks,” Mattie said taking it and walking out into her brothers Malibu. Once inside she put the A/C on blast and opened the box smiling as she the black roses. She smiled as she remembered Emmy once long ago telling her that she would love to have a bouquet of black roses on her funeral just because they were rare. “Well Emmy here they are you’re getting them.”

They were gorgeous and they had cost a lot with priority mail. But anything for Emmy, Mattie would do anything for her not that she wouldn’t for her other siblings. She backed out of the Holiday Inn parking lot and sped down highway 27 toward her mother’s house. It was only eight in the morning and finally she decided to turn on her cell phone.

Few minutes later she was pulling into the driveway everyone seemed to be there already. She put on her sunglasses and grabbed the bouquet as she walked out and up to the house. She almost at the door when she heard Ricky’s voice.

“What the hell Mattie you left yesterday and never came back. Do you know how much Evelyn cried when she found out you hadn’t come back?” Ricky the oldest of her brothers said as he came up behind her. “For god sakes this isn’t about you its about Evelyn and what just happened!”

Mattie stopped and turned to look at her eldest brother, “Nice to see you too Ricky…” she said sarcastically as she removed her sunglasses. “I know this isn’t about me and you know what? For once I wish it would have been me! Instead of Emmy because of Evelyn… just leave me the fuck alone.” She said with gritted teeth and walked away going into the house. She felt the warm tears start roll down her face, and smiled when she heard Sean stop Ricky from going after her.

“Hey…” Anna lee said when she saw her sister walk in. “How are you?”

Mattie gave her a weak smile and went to hug her, “I am here that’s what matters.” She answered kissing her sister’s cheek. “How about you? How was the drive from Miami?”

Anna lee wiped her tears and sighed, “It was long for once I can say it was long. You’re wearing “the dress”?” she said as she looked at her sister.

“For Emmy one last time,” Mattie said as she too began to cry. They continued to hug and soon felt more people join the hug making a sibling group hug. She smiled as she recognized Josie, Sean, Karina, Lizzy, and Tom. The only one that was missing was Ricky. They were all dress in the Sunday’s best for Emmy.

“Are we all ready?” Louise said as she saw all her children gathered in a group hug.

Everyone separated and turned to face her mother, “We should go,” Sean said looking at his watch.

“I’ll go get Evelyn,” Lizzy said but was stopped by Mattie.

“No let me I have to apologize for last night,” she told her sister. She sighed heavily and handed Sean the bouquet of flowers for him to hold. She walked up the stairs and took a deep breath as she knocked on the guest room where Evelyn was in. “Hey Evelyn,” she said as she opened the door and Evelyn looking out the window.

“Your back?” Evelyn said walking up to her hugging her. “I glad you are here Aunt Mattie because can I tell you a secret?” Evelyn said she played with her aunts long bangs.

“Yeah you can…” Mattie said giving her niece a smile.

“You’re my favorite aunt and my mommy always told me you were my godmother. If I ever needed something and she wasn’t here to go to you.” she hugged her and began to cry. “My mommy is no longer here aunt Mattie, grandma says she is in heaven with my daddy too.”

“Your mommy is right and I will always be here for you too… you are my favorite niece too.” Mattie answered putting her finger to her mouth to let her know it was a secret too. “Now I owe an apology for not coming back last night, sweets I am sorry but I will be here now.”

Evelyn hugged her and kissed her cheek, “Its ok I already forgot.”

Mattie laughed lightly kissing her, “Now are you ready? Do you want me to put your hair in a ponytail?”

********

“I am so sorry Mrs. Vanderbilt,” Mattie said hugging her brother in law’s mother.

“They were so young,” she sobbed as she hugged Mattie. “I wish I could go back and tell them not to go…”

“It’s not your fault.” Mattie said as she continued to cry. She was glad that her eye liner was water proof so no matter how much she cried wiped her eyes it didn’t smear.

“Aunt Mattie,” Evelyn interrupted as she pulled on her arm.

“Yes sweets,” Mattie asked looking down at the five year old.

“I have to go the potty,” she said looking like she could not hold it anymore.

“Ok let’s go,” she looked back at Mrs. Vanderbilt and then excused herself as she left the room full of family and friends and down another hall toward the restrooms.

******

“I know that everyone has mentioned how much Emmy and Bruce were loved. It’s true they were loved by both our family as Bruce’s… now I have to say since I come from a big family I have been bridesmaid to most of them but my favorite wedding was Emmy’s. She was so unique and loving, she never left anyone out, Emmy would give the clothes off her back to someone who needed them more than her. I think that’s why Bruce fell in love with her. They were the same in the way they saw life. I think that’s why god took them both together because they were inseparable. Emmy and Bruce were the ideal couple and they will be missed. But, I know that if Emmy was to be here she would not want us to be sad, she always said when one life ends more come to live. In conclusion lets all remember Emmy would want us to live our lives to the fullest and not forgetting to always love our family. She loved her family she always showed us that…” Mattie said not being able to say more she began to cry and walked away not being able to talk more.

Mattie was out of the funeral home and was busy trying to light a cigarette, “Fuck,” she said in frustration throwing the lighter into the grass.

“Need some help?”

Mattie froze when a hand extended a lit lighter for her to light her cigarette, “thanks,” she said before inhaling. She looked at the man beside her and without much more knew who it was. “You followed me?”

“Yeah… sorry.” Alex said lighting a cigarette for himself. “I guess it’s a good thing I did.” He said exhaling the smoke.

“Are you ok? I mean I know your not but will you be ok?” he asked turning to face her. She was so different to what he remembered her. She looked more feminine her tomboy look was long gone especially in a dress.

“I just need to adjust to her not being here anymore.” Mattie said as she finished her cigarette. “Thanks for… lighting my cigarette.” She said giving him a weak smiled before looking away into the green land that expanded in front of her.

“Mattie I really am sorry for Emmy… I know that no matter how much everyone tells you everything will be ok. Right nothing will make you feel better, if you need anything just I’m here ok?” Alex said taking her hand and squeezing it. “Brian is here too, he’s the one to tell me about… Emmy.”

“Thanks Alex,” she sighed heavily taking her hand away from his and kissing his cheek. “Thanks for coming; I hope to see you and Brian later. I have to head back to my family.” Mattie said walking away still not believing how much Alex had change.

*******

July 7, 2010
Time: 11:00pm
Location: Holiday Inn
Emotion: devastated

So I was able to go through it not without a lot tears but for the most part I was fine. Well till Alex made his presence known to me. He has changed so much from the boy I used to know. I was grateful that he and Brian did go to my sister’s funeral closing both the restaurant and bar for the day.

I couldn’t help but notice that he did stare a lot at me. Maybe he is just as surprised as I am about how much we have changed. I still can’t deny he has changed for the good, he no longer looks geeky or scrawny on the contrary he looks sexy. He is fit and covered in tattoos.

Oh my god don’t even know why I am writing about this I should be concentrating on the events taking place tomorrow. My sister’s lawyer wants to meet us all at his law office in Palm Beach so we all have to drive down tomorrow. I don’t know what to expect from this will but I hope it doesn’t cause strain between us and Bruce’s family.

I have to Evelyn is stirring her in her sleep I’m going to go check on her. I’ll come back later and tell you how it all went. Yes Evelyn decided to come with me. My mother was not too happy about that.

Mattie

*********

[Flashback/dream]

She hated hand me downs and she hated pink. She was glad her mother had allowed her to keep her cap as she was dropped off school with her sisters Emmy, Josie, and Lizzy.

“You’ll be fine fish,” Josie said tousling her hair. “I see you around,” Josie said walking away leaving her with Emmy and Lizzy.

“I have to my first class is way to the other side so I should get a head start. Mattie don’t worry you’ll be fine.” Lizzy said as she walked away. Lizzy was a school nerd so she was always worrying about being a good student.

“Well I’ll walk to your homeroom,” Emmy said looking at her younger sister. “Sam is here too he just a got a ride with the Morgan kids. So you will be fine enjoy your freshmen year.”

“Easy for you to say you’re a junior,” Mattie told her sister.

“Look at me just be yourself kid,” Emmy said and then she froze when some kid came up to them.

“Hey Em ready for this year? And congratulations on being captain cheerleader.”

“Hey Ben, thanks.” Emmy said blushing.

Mattie rolled her eyes as she realized that her sister must have something for the guy. “You know Emmy I’ll be fine see you after school.” Mattie said walking away.

“You sure Mattie?” Emmy said smiling at Ben who was smiling back at her.

“I’ll be fine,” Mattie said forcing a smile on and walked into the large building. She sighed heavily as she looked at her schedule and began to look for room 108. She smiled successfully as she found it and walked in, not many kids were in there yet so she had a good chance at choosing the desk she wanted. She walked all the way to the back and took a seat.

Not even five minutes later more kids rushed in filling in the desks. She watched and heard many girls all gossiping already and guys just goofing around till in came a tall brunette. “Ok cut it off everyone in there seats now! I am Mrs. Powell and I will be your homeroom teacher. I will call roll,” she said as she began to look in her binder.

Mattie bit her lip as she began to hear the names, she hoped they had put Mattie Benson and not her real name but the laughter from the class made her realize that hadn’t happened. “Matilda Benson?”

“Present,” Mattie said pulling her cap more down so she would see all the kids that stared at her.

“Miss Benson no hats in the building please,” Mrs. Powell said looking straight at her.

Mattie turned beet red and took her cap off stuffing it into her backpack. “Mattie, I prefer to be called Mattie.” She told Mrs. Powell.

********

IPC her first class, she hated science she did. Mattie walked in and took a seat on one of the stools hoping that her first period would not be as bad as homeroom.

“Well look who I have for first period Mattie right?”

Mattie looked at the scrawny kid that sat beside her curiously. “Yeah…”

“I’m Alex,” he extended his hand to her.

“Hi,” Mattie said bashfully looking at him. “I thought you said you were a sophomore.”

“I am but somehow last year I didn’t get IPC in my schedule so they are making me take it this year with all the fresh fish… no offense.” He gave her a smile. “So you like pink?” he asked as he saw continued to stare at her hot pink shirt.

“NO!” Mattie said rolling her eyes “it’s the first day of school so I am pleasing my mother for today. Besides I don’t have much choice when I get all the hand me downs.”

Alex laughed, “I wouldn’t know what hand me downs are since I am the only child.”

“Lucky you…” Mattie said laughing with him.

[End of flashback/dream]

Mattie woke up in a sweat and looked beside her to see Evelyn was fast asleep. She stood up and walked to the restroom throwing cold water at her face. She had just woken up from such a vivid dream.

Knowing she would no longer be able to sleep she walked to the window opening it so she could smoke. Why was she now having these dreams, why was seeing Alex again making her feel like she did?

July 19, 2010
Time: 7:00am
Location: Lake Okeechobee, sitting on a dock.
Emotion: Way beyond PISSED!

Fuck man I could kill my mother! Wait scratch that no I couldn’t kill her literally but I want to! I should start by telling you why, as you can see by the date I didn’t get to tell you anything yesterday because I have been pissed since the reading of the will.

I left early to mothers because Evelyn had no clothes at the hotel with me. Upon arrival it looked like it would be a good day in the situation we were in but boy was I wrong! First my mother is mad about me taking Evelyn and then she is mad because I didn’t stay at the house. I tried to take it slowly and blow up because I knew as soon as this will was read I could head back home.

I decided to ride with Howard and Anna lee because they had a spacious SUV. Evelyn again insisted on coming with me and she had a fun ride playing with little James the only son my sister had. I was actually getting back to an ok mood with the conversation we had on the ride over to Palm Beach, Howard was doing great in his real-estate business and my sister still did not worry about working even in they way the economy was.

It all went down hill when we all sat in a large conference room my family and the Vanderbilt's. I almost laughed when I saw the lawyer realizing that only Emmy would pick such lawyer. He sat down and introduced himself and then he proceeded to the will.

As it went the house was to be sold and the money was to be put in an account for Evelyn’s college and money that was to be received from the insurance was to help with any expense needed for Evelyn’s needs. I was given my sister’s wardrobe because she said I lacked of femininity and her wardrobe should help. I was crying by then she still had her sense of humor in writing the will.

Bruce’s motorcycle was given to his father and more things were said. Then it came down to Evelyn to which the short lawyer sighed and took out a hand written letter. He explained that it was on the will but before he said who got custody of Evelyn he was told to read this letter written by Emmy and Bruce.

It was a very touching letter and it almost knocked me out of my chair. Especially after the very sweet introduction, where they made fun of there own death. After many explanations on how they narrowed it down to who would take Evelyn. He read the part of the letter that almost made me faint. It said:

We love all of you and we know that if Ma Louise got Evelyn it would be for her to start over again on taking her to school and soccer practice and all the activities kids want… so mom we know you wouldn’t mind but you have raised nine kids you deserve to rest for the rest of your life. As for Ma Betty we know how hard it has been for you after your cancer battle and even though your in remission we wouldn’t want for you to have to worry about everything Evelyn will be going through… mom this is Bruce you have to understand that I love you but you have to take care of yourself and dad needs to be there for you. That only leaves one person we have not mentioned… Mattie. Mattie I am sure right about now your wondering why well because as we thought about it and we did for a long time trust us and Mr. Barber knows. We came to the conclusion that as Evelyn’s godmother and that fact that we all know I am your favorite sister, you would be perfect for Evelyn. Evelyn has always had a special bond with you and she truly loves you because she says your different to her other aunties. I know it may come of shock to you because well I know I have always called you to just reprimand you for your very liberal life… but I know that if it came to it you would love and care for Evelyn just as much or more than me. Please take care of her and remind her how much life is worth…

I could not believe she had given me custody of Evelyn. I just didn’t expect it but then again I did cause its true me and Emmy were inseparable. To my dismay though my mother stood up and protested to the lawyer demanding that the custody be given to her or one of her married children. I looked at her hurt and asked her why? She just told me was not capable of raising a child!

So now we have a custody battle afloat and to my horrible dismay only Sean and Anna lee are on my side. Maybe she is right but my sister trusted me with Evelyn and I am one to not go down without a fight!

Shit all this has made want a drink, I’ll talk to you later.

Mattie

********

Mattie sighed heavily as she again parked her rental in the same bar she had just been in a couple of days back. She stopped to tie her shoe lace and adjusted her very tight skinny jeans. She finally walked into the skulls and bones, “One glass of Jack Daniels one ice,” please she said as she took a seat on the same stool she had the other night. She smiled as she got a glance of who she assumed was Brian’s butt.

“Mattie?” Alex said as he stood up form under the counter adjusting his pants.

“Alex,” Mattie said turning shades of red. “How are you?”

“I am good working, so one Jack Daniels coming up,” he said as he moved about as a bartender.

“Thanks,” Mattie said as she put her long bangs behind her ear. “So no Brian today?”

“Nope he’s at the restaurant today. Were you looking for him?” Alex asked as he handed her the glass.

“Uhm, not really it was just that I had seen him here the other night I didn’t know you guys rotated.”

“We don’t I just had something to take care of so I asked him to tend the bar.” Alex said as he watched her. “How’s your family?”

Mattie only grumbled and took a gulp of her drink, “peachy,” she said sarcastically.

“I assume that means things are not well.” Alex said bringing the bottle of Jack and pouring more in her glass.

“Thanks,” she told him smiling at him. “You look different,” she told him as she extended her hand and touched his now well trimmed beard.

“Should I take that as a compliment?” he arched his brow as he pulled out a glass for himself and pour some Jack for him.

“Yes, a compliment you definitely toned up and then all these tats.” She said chugging down the rest of her Jack. “More please,” she told him.

“I don’t know do you have a designated driver?” Alex said with a small smile playing on his lips.

“I can get one if I need too,” Mattie said pointing to her empty glass.

“Fine,” Alex said pouring her more. “Now back to the previous conversation I wouldn’t talk I see a quite a few tattoos on you too.”

Mattie shrugged and took a sip of her freshly poured drink. “Do you really need the glasses?” she asked him.

“Naw they just make me look cool,” Alex rolled his eyes. “Look at you your eyes look like they are about to start up a storm. Mattie what’s wrong?”

No sooner had he said it when the tears began to come down her face freely, Mattie sighed and wiped her cheeks. “Everything is wrong Alex, Emmy was not supposed to die and I wasn’t supposed to get custody of Evelyn. Now there’s this war against me… my mother wants to take her away from me.” she let out a sob.

Before realizing what he had done Alex was hugging her and she was crying her heart out. “Shh its ok… your strong Mattie and you deserve to get Evelyn… Emmy trusts you. I’m so sorry…” he held her tightly as she continued to sob her hot breath hitting his neck as she clung to him. He inhaled her aroma and she still smelled so good. This hug brought back so many memories.

*******

“Thanks for bringing me to the hotel.” Mattie said as she faced Alex. “I’m sorry for ruining your shirt.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said as he handed her the keys to her rental.

“How are you getting home?” Mattie asked as she took the keys.
“I texted Brian and he should be here soon, I’ll just wait in the lobby.” Alex said as they walked in.

“You don’t want to come up?” Mattie asked biting her lip why did that question sound to wrong in her head.

Alex smiled and laughed lightly as he saw the face Mattie had, “Yeah ok… if it won’t bother you.”

“No not at all,” Mattie said sighing relief that Alex had not taken her question the wrong way.

*******

“Yeah I remember that,” Mattie said laughing lightly about the memories both Alex and her were sharing with each other.

“Remember when I surprised Brian at basketball? He thought he was going to beat me and I surprised him beating his ass. You were making fun of him all the way home.” Mattie said laughing. She was having fun remembering her child hood.

“Yeah… so enough about the past.” Alex said as he finally felt comfortable enough to lay beside her on her bed. “How is Madison?”

“Great, I have my own apartment and a job at the University as an assistant to a literary professor who used to be my professor. I love the snow even if I do have to admit I do miss the sun once in a while. How about you?”

“Hmm, well I took a few semesters at a community college in Palm Beach for business administration with Brian and now we have a restaurant and a Bar.” Alex said all at one.

“I like the name of the bar,” Mattie said as she turned to the he side propping her head on her hand so she could see Alex. His shirt had risen and she could not help notice the tattoo on his belly button. “Nice,” she said pointing to it.

Alex blushed as he pulled down his shirt, “It was one of those stupid spur of the moment this things… it happened a long time ago.”

“I bet,” Mattie said giggle.

“Really it was don’t tell me you did not get one of your tattoos and then realized it was a stupid idea?” he asked as he faced her.

She only rolled her eyes and giggled more, “So how about kids? Do you have any?”

Alex laughed, “No… I haven’t found the one person I can look at and say yeah this is who I want to be the mother of my children. I do have this girlfriend though and we’ve been steady for over two years. I think its getting serious well till a couple of days earlier… when she called it off. She needs space,” he said rubbing the back of his neck. “You?”

“Nope single and free as a bird, but I do have Evelyn to fight for. I am going to make sure I do my best for her.” she sighed as she got her purse. “I need a smoke,” she said looking through her purse.

“Yeah me too,” Alex said and dug through his pockets and realizing he hadn't checked his phone to see if Brian was out there. “Shit, Brian.” He said as he saw the six missed calls and four text messages.

“What time is it?” Mattie asked looking at her watch. “No fucking way its past one in the morning, do you think he’s still out there waiting for you?”

“According to the last text message, hell no.” Alex said laughing a little.

“I’ll take you I am pretty sober by now,” Mattie said grabbing her keys.

*******

July 20, 2010
Time: 10:00am
Place: 2009 scion about to turn on car and head to look for a lawyer
Emotion: stressed and tired (I need to sleep more)

I will only write a little bit since I have to go look for a lawyer because the faster I do the sooner I can go on with my new life that will include my niece. After dropping of Alex at his house (long story will tell you later) and promising to bring Evelyn over so she could ride his boat to distract I left. He had given me the name of some lawyer his mother knew and now here I am on my way to see him.

I spoke to Evelyn she wants to see me, I told Sean I would go pick her later and she will spend the day with me. I know mom will have a cow but I don’t give a rat’s ass anymore. I feel like I am alone in this even if Sean and Anna lee are here for me. What can possibly make mother think I could not care for my niece.

I think she is angrier than Mrs. Vanderbilt, was I really that bad when I was younger? If I can remember correctly that was Josie the one the skipped and what not. I only stood for what I believed and I did sneak out once or twice with Alex but nothing happened those two times that is.

Maybe I am adopted and that’s why I get singled out. No I have my father’s eyes and my unfortunately my mother’s hips and butt. I want to comprehend why she is so mad with this decision I would never keep Evelyn away from her. I know she means a lot to mom, I might even consider moving back to Florida for Evelyn’s happiness. I should stop torturing my brain on this and go and this meeting the lawyer thing out of the way.

I’ll let you know how it went. I might take a bit though since I will also be spending time with Evelyn. I hope everything goes smooth today… I don’t want t be mad I really don’t.

Mattie

******

“Hey sweets,” Mattie said as Evelyn hopped into the back of her rental. “why the sad face?”

“I miss my mommy and daddy,” Evelyn said as tears began to fall down her face.

Mattie felt a lump on her throat and tried to calm down to not cry in front of her. “Sweets she’s here with you all the time in here,” she touched her chest where the heart would be.

“I know but that way nana Louise would not be mad at you and I would be able to see more.” Evelyn said as she pouted and her tear’s continued to fall.

“Tell you what lets not talk about that and how about we go on a boat ride? See the gators and flamingos on the lake?” she smiled at her hold her tears as best she could. “I promise Evelyn everything will turn out fine.”

“Ok,” Evelyn said wiping her little hands on her face.

“Where are we?” Evelyn asked Mattie as they walked up the porch to Alex’s house.

“This is the house to an old friend of mine,” Mattie said as she knocked on the door. She bit her lip with anticipation she had enjoyed her time with Alex it seemed they could be descent friends not awkwardness at all.

“Coming,” Alex said as he took hold of his pup Rottweiler she was strong. “Hey,” Alex smiled as he saw Mattie standing there.

“Hey, nice puppy what’s his name?” Mattie said bending down to pet the pup.

“Her name is Cleopatra. Cleo for short,” he said turning to look at the little girl that stood beside Mattie. “You must be Evelyn?” he said ruffling her dirty blond hair.

“Yes,” Evelyn smiling at him, “I like Cleo she is pretty.”

Alex smiled at her and opened the door wide so they could come in, “Thanks Cleo is a beauty, and she’s a German Rottweiler.”

“Nice house,” Mattie said as she walked into the living room with her bag in hand. “I really appreciate you inviting us on your boat. Since when are you a sailor?”

“Well believe it or not I went to Vegas and won it to my surprise. Now I have a boat, I actually do get a little sick but it’s not too bad. Let me just go get dressed appropriately and we will head out. You two are not going dressed like that are you? Put on a bathing suit the sun is warm and you’ll get a tan.” He said as he disappeared into what Mattie assumed was his bedroom.

“Well he underestimated us didn’t he?” Mattie said as she pulled her Ed Hardy shirt over her head showing her bikini top. “I’ll leave the shorts on,” she smiled at her niece who was now in her rainbow colored bathing suit. She couldn’t help but laughed as Cleo attacked Evelyn licking her whole face with just one lick.

“Ew Aunt Mattie Cleo just licked my whole face,” Evelyn said laughing as she hugged Cleo. “Aunt Mattie if I go live with you do you think we can get a dog? Not as big as Cleo if you don’t want too.”

“We’ll see,” Mattie said as she saved her niece from Cleo’s paws.

*******

July 20, 2010
Time: 6:30pm
Location: SS Matilda…watching the sunset.
Emotion: confused and worried.

I am sitting here and watching how much fun Evelyn is having with Alex. Alex is so an awesome sidekick to Evelyn. Not once have I seen her sad since we got here. I can’t help to think back to when Alex and I were a couple. I loved him… even when he was a mere scrawny geek, now I remember why. He is such a romantic and he is easy to get along with.

I have managed to laugh and feel happy most of today. I did see that lawyer he recommended me and I have high hopes of winning Evelyn’s custody. Yet as I sit here writing I am confused. Alex named his boat after me… he looked so cute as he saw the look I made when I read the boats name.

It made Evelyn laugh to the point of tears, when I told her that was my real name. Now she keeps teasing me by calling me Aunt Matilda. I asked him why he named his boat after me and he only shrugged. I am going to ask again later he has to have an explanation… maybe he is one of those guys that name there most prized possessions after each ex they have. I used to date a guy like that well not really date but you know.

I have to he is walking this way and I just don’t want to explain this to him. I’ll tell you everything later.

Mattie

********

“I’m hungry!” Evelyn said as she got a coke from the cooler Alex had on the boat. “Could you open it for me?” she asked Alex.

“Sure can sweetie,” Alex said as he took a seat next to Mattie who had just finished writing something. “What was that?” he asked after handing Evelyn the coke.

“I’m going to get a luncheable ok?” Evelyn said already opening one and sitting far away enjoying her lunch.

“Don’t eat too much now we’re going to dinner at grandmas later,” Mattie said as she turned to look at Alex who was still staring at her curiously.

“Well?” Alex said getting more comfortable.

“Well what? You tell me why you named your boat Matilda and I will maybe tell you what this is,” Mattie said as she padded her tote where her diary was safely kept.

Alex shrugged, “I remembered how much you hated your name and I won this boat only a couple of months after you left to college. I was pissed at you… so I named my boat Matilda.”

“Pissed at me?” Mattie asked curiously.

“Well yeah, if I recall you had dumped me pretty bad.” Alex said remembering that day clearly.

[Flashback]

“Hey,” Alex said he climbed into the window. “I didn’t get a call or anything today so I had to come see you.” he bent down to kiss his girlfriend.

“Sorry it’s just been a crazy day,” Mattie stood up locking her bedroom door so her mother or father wouldn’t just barge in. They would kill her if they knew Alex would sneak up to her room at late hours and well they didn’t just talk sometimes.

“Yeah so crazy you couldn’t make a little time for me?” Alex asked as he took a seat on her bed pulling her into his laps.

Mattie giggled when she felt Alex’s hand begin to massage thigh, “Not tonight Alex…” she kissed him passionately.

“I won’t get to see you again till next weekend,” Alex said kissing her neck. “I head back to Palm Beach for school, just two more years that’s all.”

Mattie moaned a little as she allowed Alex’s lips to roam down her neck and to her breasts. “Alex please mom is on guard tonight and she might hear us.” She whispered finally bring his face up to meet her gaze. “We have to talk,” Mattie said standing up pulling on a shirt and some shorts. “Let’s go,” she extended her hand to him as she climbed out the window.

Alex sighed and followed her, “do you want to go down by the canal?” he asked her as he helped down the roof.

“Yeah that’ll be fine,” she said as he put her hair in a ponytail. She smiled as they walked fast so they wouldn’t get caught.

“Ok so what’s wrong babe,” Alex said as they both took a seat on the plush grass. “You’re not pregnant are you?”

“No… its about me leaving for college. I know you think its better for me to stay here and go to Florida State but I’ve been thinking really hard. I want to go to University of Wisconsin.” She bit her lip as she saw Alex’s vain on his neck pop out.

“Ok well it’s what you want but what about us? I won’t be able to see you till holidays and we have to adjust to phone sex,” he giggled a little at that.

“Alex!” Mattie said punching playfully. “You know Alex…” she said biting her lip.

“Hmm,” Alex said still trying to digest this whole new idea; she had made up her mind and she was going to move to Wisconsin. What about him?

“Aren’t we a little weird? I mean look at us we’ve been dating since high school we didn’t experience our teenage life to the fullest.” She continued.

“I don’t think we’ve missed out on anything really and we’re still technically teens.” Alex said not liking where Mattie was taking this.

“Yeah I know but now with me in Wisconsin and you here… I don’t think it will be the same.” She managed to say as Alex pulled his hand from hers.

“Where are you going with this?” he asked as he stood up rubbing his face.
“Alex please don’t make this harder than it is.” Mattie said as she threw a rock into the canal. “I just think we should take a break and just see where it takes us.”

“Are you… no wait Mattie what do you feel for me?” Alex asked as he went up to her taking her lips with his. “I love you…”

“Do you even know what love is?” Mattie asked as she pulled away. “I have only been with you Alex and now we are going to be apart. I can’t drag you with me and I am not staying here.”

“Do you like someone else?” Alex asked as he paced.

“What? No… not yet. Alex I just want a chance to experience life my way.”

“You know what? Fine go and do all the college life but don’t come back expecting me to just take you back… Mattie what we have is unique. I love you… do you? Love me?”

She felt angry at him, how could he not understand her? She was one to never bite back what she thought and right at that moment anger dominated her. “No I don’t Alex. Just go back to school and forget you ever met me!” Mattie said as she turned away and began to walk back to her house. Tears of anger and confusion coming down her face.

[End of flashback]

Mattie felt horrible as she remembered how she broke it off with Alex. She wanted to tell him just how much she had suffered after that. But again she was to proud to admit that he had been right and that for the first two years all she did was try to forget him with as many dates she could get. Till the scar she had caused her own heart healed.

“I’m sorry,” Mattie said biting her lip.

“Hey you did what you had to do. I mean you were young and you were right we were too young to know what we really wanted.” He said clearing his throat, “But let’s not duel on the past. You’re doing great your going to be a great mother to Evelyn and well I am doing well too…”

“Yeah,” Mattie said sighing. “I am writing my first diary I was told it would help me, plus its part of a project professor Collins gave his class and I thought I could try it.”

“Interesting,” Alex said as he realized the sun was gone and it was better for them to head back. “We should get going.”

“Yeah,” Mattie said as she saw that Evelyn had fallen asleep with her coke in hand. “Awe poor Evelyn,” she stood up and careful not to wake her she took away the trash and the can of coke. She cradled her in her arms as Alex turned the boat back to return home.

Thirty minutes later Alex had docked and after insisting in helping her with Evelyn they walked up to his house. He opened his door and carefully laid her on his plush couch. “I hope you enjoyed the day.”

“I did,” Mattie said finally realizing she had gotten pretty tanned. “I think Evelyn really likes you now.”

“She’s a great kid.” Alex said rubbing the back of his neck. “Want something to drink?”

“No I’m good thanks I should take her home I don’t want to get into trouble right now when I am trying to win her custody.” She looked around and then she asked, “Could I use your restroom to change though?”

“Yeah down this hall two doors down on the left,” Alex said as he watched her walk away. He was trying to be a good friend but was it wrong to admit he still loved her? He was brought back from his thoughts when the phone rang and Sharon’s number appeared. Sharon his on and off again girlfriend, “hello?”

July 22, 2010
Time: 10:00am
Location: Holiday Inn’s pool area
Emotion: determined

So today I called my boss and told him I quit. He wasn’t very excited about that but he understood why. I was now trying to figure out where I would be moving too…Sean has offered me his house in Orlando. But the custody battle is being held here in Palm Beach, so I must find a way to stay here till then.

I am bound to take care of Evelyn like she was my own and that means my plans are no more. Now I will revolve on Evelyn’s every need. I would like for her to be near her parents too… well so we can visit them once in a while.

I know this all has altered my life completely but I am thirty one it is time for me to settle I guess. I am thinking that it would be nice to have a real family. I don’t know where I will get the husband but I am not in a hurry.

I am thinking about renting a truck to bring down my stuff and probably put it in storage till I find a place. I still have to break the news to Evelyn of my short trip up to Wisconsin, but I hope she will be ok with it. Lately I have been really good at being with Evelyn for most part of the day.

Talking about that today I am picking her up from school. It will be nice going into Central Elementary School my old school. I know it will bring many memories back. Memories have been drowning my mind lately from my many adventures with Emmy, Sean and Alex.

Last night I dreamt about when Emmy had snuck out of the house to see her boyfriend back in the day and I had to sneak in to her room and cover myself from head to toe so mom and dad would not notice she was gone and think she was asleep… the was the advantage of having a connected bathroom. Man the many things I kept secret for Emmy just as she did with me.

She was the one to cover for me when I went to Alex’s prom and ended up not coming home on time because lets just say that day my cherry got popped. I am actually surprised we waited that long to be together… but that was Alex he never pressured me.

God I miss Emmy, who will I go to now for advice? I know I have more siblings but Emmy was my Batman and I was her Robin. Anyway I have to go and find a job… I know just the place to go to. I’ll let you know later how that went.

Mattie

*******

Mattie smiled as she removed her sunglasses walking into the restaurant. She saw a gorgeous blond greet her, “Hi actually I am here to see Brian,” Mattie smiled.

“Is this business related?”

“Well sort of see Brian is a good friend of mine and I wanted to talk him. But I’ll come back when he is here… sorry will you just tell him Mattie came looking for him.” Mattie told her as she turned to leave.

“Oh my god your Mattie?” Leighanne said as she looked at her carefully and excited.

Mattie stopped and turned to look at the blond carefully, “Yeah do I know you?”

“Well not technically, I am Leighanne.” She extended her hand.

Mattie was still very confused as she took her hand, “Hi Leighanne.”

“Sorry I am Brian’s fiancé and I know about you from him. He didn’t lie when he said you were gorgeous.” Leighanne said.

“Uhm thanks I guess…” Mattie said trying not to laugh at Leighanne's country accent.

“But please have a seat he should be here soon he's at the bar with Alex.” Leighanne said.

“Well actually I’ll just go over there, it was nice meeting you.” Mattie said shaking Leighanne’s hand. “I didn’t know he was engaged.” She said shyly as she walked out.

*******

“So you are really tanned,” Brian said as he helped Alex with the accounting.

“Yeah I went out on my boat,” Alex said trying to not bring out more about that conversation.

“You should’ve called me, Leighanne and I would have gone with you…unless you didn’t want company.” Brian said.

“Uhm it was a spur of the moment thing… it wasn’t planned.” Alex said looking a little nervous.

“Uhuh,” Brian said smiling… “Did you and Sharon make up?” he asked giving him a sly smile.

Alex shrugged and rolled his eyes, “No not yet… I invited Mattie and Evelyn so you they could get distracted. They need that a lot right now.” he rambled fast.

“Mattie?” Brian asked as he took a bottled water from the mini fridge in the office. “She’s still looks good doesn’t she? Better I would say,” Brian said grinning.

“Ok Brian your engaged.” Alex said smiling at his comment. “She may look good but she is in the past and it’s not like she is going to be here long. She is only here till she gets full custody of Evelyn.”

“History tends to repeat itself,” Brian said and then he stood hearing the doorbell to the bar in announcement of someone coming in. “Sorry we are closed till twelve,” Brian said quickly smiling when he saw who stood there. “Well we do make exceptions.”

“Who is it?” Alex yelled.

“Come on in give me a sec,” Brian said walking to the back office. “Talking about the devil she is here,” Brian said grinning even more.

“So I went to the restaurant and I met Leighanne!” Mattie yelled as she placed her tote on one of the pool tables.

“Yeah what you think? A real southern belle isn’t she?” Brian said coming back smiling.

“Yeah she is really nice…” Mattie said as she went to grab a pool stick. “So I came to talk to you…”

“Yeah about what?” Brian said as Alex joined them.

“Hey Mattie,” he said as he watched her arrange a pool table to play. “Any of you two willing to loose against a lady?” she asked arching her eyebrow.

“I was never good at that,” Brian said looking at Alex. “Why don’t we see the teacher against the student?”

“Well I am no rookie anymore,” Mattie said grabbing a pool stick throwing it to Alex who caught it.

“Let’s see if you learned anything from me.” he said giving her a daring smile.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Brian said as he watched them begin to play.

“Well I wanted to ask you to hire me… I need a job since I have decided to move down here for Evelyn’s sake.” Mattie said as she pocketed two more balls.

“Really? Well I’d love to hire you but not for the restaurant since we are fully staffed. But I know Alex is need of a bartender aren't you Alex?” Brian said looking at Alex who attentively watched Mattie’s every move.

“Yeah but maybe she doesn’t want to work at a bar Bri,” Alex said as he finally took his turn.

“I’ll take what I can get, it might be temporary while I win custody then I might move to Miami with Anna lee… Howard offered me a job there as his assistant.” Mattie said as she watched Alex concentrate on pocketing another ball only to miss and hit one of her balls. “Thanks but I don’t need your help,” she told him as she played her turn.

“I think someone needs lessons from the student now,” Brian said laughing at Alex only to get the middle finger from him.

“Ok so when can you start?” Alex asked.

“Well first I have to back home and get my stuff down here and find a place to rent.” Mattie said as she tried to pocket her last ball missing.

“Aren’t you in need of a roommate as well?” Brian asked only to get a glare from Alex.

“You are?” Mattie asked remembering how nice his house was.

“Yeah…” Alex said as he pocketed another ball.

“How much do you want?” Mattie asked as she watched him carefully pocket another one.

“Well it’s the master bedroom with a walk in closet and its own bathroom… four fifty including bills.” Alex said as he tried to pocket the eight ball only to miss.

“I might be interested; Evelyn seemed to like you a lot. Plus like I said it will be temporary.” Mattie said as she pocketed her last ball and then went for the eight ball. She bent down low eyeing the ball not realizing she was giving Alex a sight to see. She jumped up excitedly as she pocketed the eight ball… “I won!”

“Looser,” Brian said laughing at Alex who was surprised by Mattie who hugged him excitedly.

Mattie pulled back quick clearing her throat, “So does this mean I have a job when I come back?”

“I say yes what about you Brian? I have to run it with my partner you know…” Alex said rolling his eyes.

“Heck yeah of course, welcome to the team… you know I have a big Ford F350 I bet me and Alex can drive up there with you. Help you get it down faster… and you would save money on renting a truck. Right Alex we can go with her… Leighanne can handle the bar and restaurant with Dan’s help.”

“OH its fine I don’t want to impose like that I am already pulling strings with the whole job thing.” Mattie said blushing a little.

“What are friends for?” Brian said slapping Alex on his shoulder, “What do you say Alex we can leave Friday morning and be back by Sunday or Monday.”

“Sure why not,” Alex said smiling a little.

“So its settled we leave Friday,” Brian said.

“Thanks guys this means a lot to me,” Mattie said getting a little teary eyed. She surprised Brian with a hug and then Alex. “I have to go because I have to pick up Evelyn from school today but I’ll call you to plan everything for the trip.”

“Yeah definitely see you later,” Brian said waving as he saw take her tote and walk to the door.

“Later,” Alex said just before she disappeared.

“What the hell was that?” Alex asked as he playfully hit Brian with his pool stick.

“What are you talking about?” Brian asked trying to sound confused at Alex’s insinuation.

*******

“Hello?” Mattie answered the phone as she saw it was her sister Josie.

“I was just calling you to tell you that I already picked up Evelyn she got sick the nurse called mom.” Josie said.

“What why didn’t you guys call me? It was my turn to pick her up. I am on my way to get her.” Mattie said angrily.

“She is sick just let us care for her.” Josie said a little annoyed.

“I will be there and I am taking her to a doctor,” Mattie said hanging up angrily. Why were they being like this to her she could handle a sick kid?

******

July 22, 2010
Time: 11:00pm
Location: park bench at Woodworks. {I know it’s late… but I am in the friendliest town in Florida no danger.]
Emotion: worried

I have to say that I am glad to have people that still believe in me like Brian and Alex. They have been my saviors at this moment. I have managed to get a job with them and a place to stay till I win custody of Evelyn… well I still have to think about that a little bit more.

I am sure that if I tell Evelyn though she will have no problems staying at Alex’s though. She hasn’t stopped asking about him or Cleo. Talking about Evelyn she has a major case of ear infection and high fever. I was able to take her to the doctor and get that taken care of. But she will miss a day of school, she is not complaining though.

I guess I could use that day to let her know of my decisions. I can’t imagine myself not being here for her she is now my focal point in my life. I have yet a lot of parent skills to learn but I am sure Sean can help me with that, I don’t know about Anna lee she is pretty new at the whole parent thing. Besides James is still just a baby… all she worries about is diapers and feeding him on time.

I wonder how I will be when I have a kid of my own, will I be a good mother. Well I will have practice by then with Evelyn. I have been thinking maybe I don’t need a man to be happy and maybe not even to have a baby of my own… not that I will do that soon.

I have to go I promised Evelyn that I would order her pizza and take it to her.

Mattie.

[Flashback/dream]

“There,” Emmy said as she finished applying on Mattie’s make up. “Alex is going to be the envy at prom.”

“You think,” Mattie said as she looked at her dress… it was black but it was pretty girlie. “I hope he doesn’t think it’s to much…”

“You look gorgeous Mattie and like a girl for one,” Emmy said and then raised her brows when they heard the door bell. “He’s here lets go before dad starts to interrogate him.”

“Yeah,” Mattie said as she nervously put on her shoes.

“Mattie?” Emmy said extended her fisted hand to Mattie.

“What? What is it?” she asked looking at Emmy curiously.

Emmy bit her lip, “well I want you to wear these they will look great with the dress,” she said showing her the earrings.

“Really you are going to trust me with these?” Mattie said taking them and putting them on.

“I will kill you if you loose them.” Emmy said patting Mattie on the butt… you so lucky you got an ass making this dress look so good on you.

“Yeah well I have no boobs,” Mattie said hugging her sister. “Ok well I got to go.”

Mattie took a deep breath and walked down the stairs as she made it to the first floor she could hear Sean talking with Alex. “Hey…” she said nervously not trying to look at him.

Alex turned to look at his girlfriend and was in loss of words, “hey you look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Mattie said rolling her eyes as Sean laughed.

“Mattie with a dress man we need a camera to capture this moment,” Sean said also all dressed up it was his prom as well.

“Let’s go,” Mattie said sticking her tongue out to Sean.

“You sure you don’t want to ride with us to prom on the limo Steve Morgan got?” Sean asked as Alex and Mattie headed out.

“Yeah we’re sure I borrowed my uncles Mustang.” Alex said flashing the keys.

“Alright well see you there,” Sean said.
“Mom I’m leaving,” Mattie said as they both walked to the door.

“Wait, wait I need a picture,” Louise said coming out with a camera. “Look at you Mattie all girlied up,” she said as the flash almost blinded them.

“Ok mom,” Mattie said blushing.

“Remember by midnight is the latest you can be out,” Louise said looking at Alex.

“Don’t worry Miss Benson she will be here on time.” Alex said smiling at her.

******

“Ready?” Alex asked he parked the car at his high school.

“Yeah,” Mattie said blushing. “You’re coming with me to my prom next year right?”

“Of course you’re my lady,” Alex said as he leaned in and kissed her. “Now before we go I have this to put on your wrist.” He said taking out the corsage.

“Thank you,” she said smiling at him.

Ten minutes later they were in the high school gym, the music on full blast and people dancing. “Do you want to dance?” Alex asked as he leaned into Mattie’s ear.

Mattie leaned into his shoulder whispering, “I don’t know how to dance I will only make a fool of myself.” She blushed as Alex smiled at her comment.

“Ok will dance a slow one then, do you want something to drink?” Alex asked her.

“Yeah…” Mattie nodded as Alex stood up and went to get them drinks.

*********

Mattie rested her head on Alex’s shoulder as the danced a slow song. She was having fun and couldn’t wait for her own prom. “Are you having fun?” she asked him as she gently kissed his neck.

“Very much with you right here,” he smiled at her as he pulled her even closer. “Did you see Brian? He looks like he’s having fun… I am surprised Kim accepted to come with him to prom.”

“Well Brian is a nice guy… he deserves it.” Mattie said glancing over to Alex’s best friend. “What time is it?”

“Its only ten,” Alex said just as the slow song finished. “Do you want to go?”

“No I’m fine unless you want to go…” Mattie said as he took her hand.

“Let’s go take a walk outside?” Alex said taking her hand.

“Ok,” Mattie said as she went along. “It’s a pretty night…isn’t it?”

“Nothing can beat how pretty you look tonight.” Alex said as they walked toward the football field.

“I feel weird actually.” Mattie said as she looked down at her dress. She sighed as they took a seat on the bleachers. “I can tell you this I prefer pants and a shirt better. This whole strapless thing is annoying; you have to keep making sure you don’t flash anyone.” She emphasized what she meant as she pulled on her dress.

He laughed lightly as he looked at her, “I’m going to miss walking you to class,” he confessed as he took her hand in his intertwining there fingers.

“I’m going to miss you too but it will only be during classes then we will see each other… besides you still have a whole month till you graduate.” Mattie said leaning on him.

“I got accepted,” he said smiling. “I start after summer break,” he said knowing well she knew what he was talking about.

“But you’ll come to see me right? It’s only an hour away…” she said.

“Of course my mom got me a car…” he leaned in and kissed her shoulder. “Do you want to head back?”

Mattie shook her head, “No I like it here,” she cuddled into him.

“Your cold?” Alex asked her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“I am wearing a strapless dress,” Mattie said giggling as she felt Alex’s lips on her neck. She closed her eyes shivering as she allowed him to continue. She moaned softly as Alex moved her hair away and continued to kiss her neck.

“Do you want to get out of here?” he asked her as he kissed her chin and lightly tugged on her earlobe with his teeth.

“Where are we going?” she asked him softly.

He stopped kissing her and cleared his throat, “I don’t know we can drive around…whatever you want.” He said smiling at her leaning in and kissing her mouth.

“Ok,” she said standing up.

********

“This is nice,” Mattie said as she cuddled with him in the convertible mustang looking into Lake Okeechobee.

“A very girlie thing to say,” Alex giggled knowing Mattie was rolling her eyes.

Mattie looked up to him and kissed him taking him by surprise, she didn’t know what she was doing but she knew what she wanted right then and there. She slowly began to unbutton his dress up shirt.

Alex stopped her and looked at her quizzically… “Are you sure?” he asked her looking into her eyes.

Mattie nodded and bit her lip; “unless you don’t want too…” she suddenly became very conscious of what she was doing.

“Mattie,” Alex said making her look up at him. “I just want to make sure you are ok with this…” he kissed her lips softly slipping his tongue into her mouth. “I would love for us to go to the next level but only if you want to,” he said kissing her again.

“I want to…” she whispered to him as he parted from her. “I’m ready…”

Alex smiled at her and then he kissed her… “Ok.” He turned on his car and began to reverse.

“Where are we going?” she asked him as she realized they were leaving.

“You’ll see… somewhere more comfortable.” He winked at her.

*******

“I love you,” Alex said as he kissed her again. “You ok?” he asked concerned as he wiped the small droplets of sweat from her forehead.

She nodded her head as she pulled him back to her mouth kissing him. “I love you too…” she said as she held on to him tighter.

As they lay on his bed hugging each other, “You ok?” Alex asked again as he played with her hair.

“Yes,” she said kissing his shoulder. “What time is it?” she asked him as she rested her head on his chest.

“It’s… fuck, babe it’s 12:45.” Alex said suddenly becoming alarmed. “Your parents are going to kill me…”

“Oh my god Alex I have to get home… I have to get dressed. Wait let me use your phone I know Emmy can help us,” Mattie said as she picked the phone from the side lamp table.

[End of flashback/dream]

Alex woke up as his phone rang on the lamp table beside his bed. He groaned but answered, “Hello” not checking who it was.

“Hey I want to talk to you I am on my way to your house,” Sharon said realizing she had woken up Alex.

“What time is it?” asked Alex as he turned to see the clock. “Fuck it’s ten,” Alex said sighing as he remembered the dream he had had. “I can’t talk today Sharon I am leaving out of town at twelve I have to get ready.”

“What where are you going?” Sharon asked.

“It’s a business trip Brian and I are going out of town. Just I’ll call you when I am back in town.” Alex said hanging up on her; he was tired of her choosing when she wanted to come back into his life.

********

“What do you mean take the truck that you can’t go?” Alex said as he glared at Brian.

“Well what do you want me to say… I feel horrible I am sick and I have a fever.” Brian said as he coughed profusely.

Alex made a face as he saw Brian turn red from coughing… “You do look like crap.” He took the keys from his hand… “Just how conveniently that you got sick. Well I have to go pick her up and I will see you here Monday.”

“All right be careful,” Brian said waving as he went back into his house.

Alex turned on the truck and slowly began to back out of the driveway. He was nervous now having to drive with Mattie all alone. He smiled as he remembered the dream he had, why was he letting Mattie get under his skin. “Because you never got over her Alex that’s why,” he told himself out loud.

He drove in silence to the hotel and smiled when he saw she was already outside waiting for him. “Hey hop in,” he said rolling down his window.

“Where’s Brian?” she asked as she got in sitting in the back seat.

“He has a major case of the flu with fever so he wishes us good luck,” Alex said eying her… “Hop up front with me since Brian is no longer going with us.”

“Awe I feel bad for Brian…” Mattie said as she hopped to the front.

“Yeah well we can’t cancel this now,” Alex said as he drove away. “You’re hot so I can turn the AC?”

“I’m good thanks,” Mattie said smiling. “Thanks for doing this Alex it means a lot to me.”

“I will always be here for you Mattie… friends do this kind of stuff for friends.” Alex said as he finally got to highway 27.

*******

July 24, 2010
Time: 3:00am
Location: rest stop – Tennessee.
Emotion: mixed emotions

I have to say this trip with Alex has made me realize that Alex would have been a good catch. We have talked non stop about everything that has happened since I left Florida. He even told me about his current girlfriend Sharon, he seems to have deep feelings for her yet he seems to also not like the way she comes and goes. She is not a steady girlfriend.

I am assuming that means he is ready to settle… I actually would’ve thought he was already married and with children. I still have to get the courage to tell him I would like to rent that room from him. I decided that for the moment it would be the best option. Alex is my friend and I could trust him and besides that way I could always ride with him to work.

I think I am driving from here on out its my turn so he can take a nap. We are hoping to get to Madison by tonight the latest; I have already called my friend and sometimes apartment crasher to start packing for me… I also gave her permission to take what she likes.

I think I should stop he’s coming back from the restroom; I’ll try to come back later and tell you more. But for now I have to go.

Mattie.

*******

“I’m driving you sleep for a little bit,” Mattie told Alex who only smiled and shrugged.

“I still have some more miles in me,” Alex said.

“No you rest I’ll drive then you can take the wheel after a little shut eye.” She gave him a smirk and extended her hand for the keys.

Alex took out the keys from his pocket and handed them to her, “Fine… let’s get out of here.”

********

“Good morning,” Mattie said as she gave Alex a warm smile. “Sleep well?”

“Morning,” Alex said stretching and wincing as he felt the pain on his neck, “My neck is killing me…” he laughed as he rubbed it.

“Yeah sleeping like that does that to your neck,” Mattie said as she pulled up the drive thru window paying and taking the McDonalds bag. “I got us breakfast, I just hope you still like the same things…” she said handing him his coffee cup.

“Thanks,” AJ said smiling at her, she remembered what he liked. “Did you get the strawberry jam for my sausage biscuit?”

“Of course wouldn’t want you to get all insulted if I got you the grape jam instead.” She told him handing him the McDonalds bag.

“Thanks, so where are we?” Alex said as he looked at his window into the road.

“Owensboro Kentucky,” Mattie said as she began to take speed back on the highway. “We are about to leave Kentucky and into Illinois.”

“I can take the wheel into Illinois if you want…” Alex said as he prepared his sandwich applying enough strawberry jam on his biscuit.

“Just finish your breakfast,” she told him as she took a drink from her orange juice.

“Ok,” Alex said as he bit into his food.

********

“Chicago?” Mattie asked as she looked out the window it was getting dark and she recognized the city. “I must’ve of been tired,” she yawned as she redid her hair not that she could really tie it wasn’t long enough.

“Yep…” Alex said as he grinned, “You snore,” he said giggling.

“I do not!” Mattie said with a face of horror.

“Yeah you do… not that loud but yeah you snore.” He winced when he felt her punch him. “Watch it you hit like a man it hurts.”

“Good,” Mattie said for once she laughed a hardy laugh.

********

[Music blaring]

I got soul but I’m not a soldier
I got soul but I’m not a soldier
I got soul but I’m not a soldier
I got soul but I’m not a soldier

I got soul but I’m not a soldier
I got soul but I’m not a soldier

Time and truth and hearts

Yeah, you know you gotta help me out, yeah
Oh, don’t you put me on the back burner
You know you gotta help me out, yeah

“I am so sorry I bet that’s Heather,” Mattie said as she opened the door to her home and running to turn off the music.

“Mattie!” Heather said startled her hand raising to her chest and blushing when she saw Alex at the door. “Fuck you brought someone with you!” she ran toward the restroom. She was dancing in her underwear and a tiny shirt.

“Oh my god Heather!” Mattie said shaking her hand as she saw the mess she had on the very empty living room. “What happened to my furniture?” she asked as she began to pickup the mess.

“You told me to get rid of stuff so I had a garage sale!” Heather yelled from the restroom.

“Oh,” Mattie said picking up an empty bottle of vodka. “Sorry Alex please have a seat on my very plush carpet.” She said not being able to hold her laugh as she realized Alex was still puzzled by the show he had just seen.

“So I guess that’s your roommate?” he finally managed to say as he took a deep sigh. He’s a guy of course he had to see and it wasn’t bad at all.

“Something like that,” Mattie said as she continued to pickup popcorn and god knew what from the floor, “Heather please tell me we still have a vacuum cleaner,” she said as she walked to a trash can and dumped what she held.

“Nope sorry I got fifteen bucks for it,” Heather said coming out better dressed in a floral cotton skirt and a white cotton shirt. “Hi,” she told Alex as she gave him a flirtatious smile.

Alex cleared his throat, “hi,” he extended his hand and shook her hand.

“You must be related to Mattie because I see you like tattoos too.” Heather said looking at his hands. “You can’t be her brother though cause I’ve seen pictures to all of them… are you her cousin?”

“Nope nosey he’s not my blood relative,” Mattie said coming back from the kitchen with a broom and dust pan handing it to Heather, “You did it you clean it.” She said as she handed her the broom and dust pan with an annoyed face.

“Oh my god don’t tell me you already hooked up back in Florida? Well I have to say he’s sexy,” Heather said winking at Alex.

Alex only grinned turning shades of red and rubbing the back of his neck. He cleared his throat ready to answer but was cut off by Mattie.

“NO!” Mattie answered quickly. "He’s a really good friend of mine and he’s here to help me lug my stuff down to Florida. Enough interrogating its late and we have to rest for tomorrow so come on clean up!” Mattie said giving Heather the look that told her she would tell her later.

“It’s ok she has to have questions,” Alex said as he sighed once Heather got busy with her task.

“Yeah well she has no right to ask, so the restroom is that way if you want to freshen up or shower before hitting the sack. We have a lot to do tomorrow.” Mattie said pointing toward her restroom.

“I’m going to say yes to the shower let me just get my bag from the truck,” Alex said heading back out to the truck.

“Ok,” Mattie said nervously.

*********

“Spill it,” Heather said as she took a seat next to Mattie on the floor.

“I can’t believe you sold my bed,” Mattie said putting away her diary knowing she would get a chance to write after all. “Why are you so interested? You can’t jump on it Heather…” Mattie said using her friends own terminology.

“Why not? You said he is nothing to you…” Heather said looking toward the door that led to the restroom.

“Oh my god your crazy… he has a girlfriend.” She whispered to Heather who only smiled even more. “Its like the saying in Vegas goes, except it would be like… what happens in Madison stays in Madison.” She winked at Mattie.

“Don’t Heather I am warning you… he is off limits.” Mattie said more seriously.

Heather looked at her closely and began to laugh hysterically, “Oh my god you already slept with him!”

“No! We have not!” Mattie said as she tried to hush her friend.

“Quit lying is he good?” Heather asked trying to keep her laughs down.

“I told you we have not slept with each other,” Mattie said in a hushed tone.

“But you want too then?” Heather said as matter of fact.

Mattie grabbed her pillow and threw at it at Heather, “Why is your mind always in the gutter… talk about living liberally.”

“There is something here and I can sense the friction… here let me read your hand.” Heather said pulling on Mattie’s hand.

“No you know I don’t believe your crap, you are just a hoax. Remember I know that.” Mattie said pulling her hand back.

“You have offended me deeply and for that good night,” Heather said looking hurt. “I have been right the last two times I read your hand! I’ll see you in the morning if I feel like forgiving you.” she walked out and into the other room.

“Heather!” Mattie said opening her door going after her only to bump into Alex who was coming out of the bathroom squeaky clean.

“Is everything alright?” He asked as he held onto Mattie so she wouldn’t fall.

“Yeah I was just going to ask her something when I bumped into you… sorry.” Mattie said finally pulling away from his grip and clearing her throat. “I fixed you a place for you to sleep in the living room… sorry I have no furniture.”

Alex laughed. “Its ok it will be like when I used to go camping.” He sighed and looked at her, “You might want to wake me I am a very heavy sleeper and the fact that it is two in the morning won’t work in helping me up early.”

“Ok,” she told him going back toward her room. She sighed heavily grabbing something for her shower.

********

The shower had definitely helped she walked out still towel drying her hair and that’s when she saw Alex was still wide awake leaning on a wall. “Hey can’t sleep?”

“Not really my neck is killing me,” Alex said as he saw her walk up to him taking a seat next to him.

“I think I can help,” she told him as she kneeled, “Here turn around I’ve been told I can give a good massage.”

“Ok…” Alex said nervously not sure if it was a good idea but soon he couldn’t think any more and a small moan escaped his lips. “My god yes right there,” he said as he felt her fingers do there magic on his neck and shoulders.

Mattie smiled and did her best as she massaged him. She was silent as she did her task smiling once in a while when he would moan. “There that should help.”

“Yes it did,” thanks Alex said clearing his throat. “Thank you so much, well we should try and get some sleep, if not we will have to rely too much on red bull.”

“True good night or should I say good morning?” Mattie said as she stood up and walked away.

“Yeah good night,” Alex said as he finally laid down sighing closing his eyes.

******

[Flashback/dream]

“Hey…” Alex said in a hush tone as he sneaked into Mattie’s room through the window.

“What are you doing here? Mom is going to kill me if she comes in right now and sees you here,” Mattie said as she brushed her hair.

“I just wanted to check on you and make sure you were ok, she didn’t look to happy about you coming home an hour late.” Alex said walking to her door and locking it.

“I told you Emmy got my back, she got a little suspicious but Emmy is a good damn liar,” Mattie said smiling. She walked up to him and kissed him.

“I love you,” Alex said wrapping his arms around her. He pulled her toward her bed not once parting the kiss. “Maybe I should go,” he whispered letting her go.

“No stay… the door is locked.” Mattie said wrapping her arms around his neck kissing him bringing him down with her to the bed…

[End of flashback/dream]

Alex moaned as he felt lips on his neck and someone straddling him he smiled, these dreams were starting to feel very real. He might as well enjoy remembering the past. He took her face and brought her lips to his.

He moaned as he felt her hands slide down to his pants starting to unbutton his pants. He smiled and as real as it felt he didn’t want to open his eyes in fear of loosing his dream. “Mattie, you feel so good…” he whispered.

“Mattie?” Heather said a little loud stopping what she was doing. Sitting up straight looking at Alex.

Alex opened his eyes quickly trying to adjust to the dark and realized who was on top of him. “Oh my god Heather!” he said nervously standing up buttoning his pants back up. “What are you doing?”

“Sorry I was just giving a warm welcome but it’s clear you already have someone in mind.” Heather said as she put her bra and night shirt back on. “So you’re playing the good friend and hope that she sees past it and hook up with you?” she asked a little disappointed she didn’t get what she wanted.

“No it’s not like that! God uhm that was a huge mistake… she gave a massage earlier and I was dreaming that she still was giving me a massage… then I felt well you know. My god…look between Mattie and me there is nothing going on. I just… please don’t tell her about this.” Alex said rubbing his face, he definitely wasn’t sleeping anymore.

Heather eyed him curiously, “Ok I won’t say a word but in return you tell me how you know Mattie… I promise I won’t tell a soul.”

“But what if she hears us?” Alex said looking toward the door that led to Mattie’s room.

“She won’t she sleeps with her iPod on the only way she can get a descent sleep.” Heather said.

Alex sighed heavily and looked at her again. “Fine, but can I have something to drink first?” Alex asked.

“Yeah give me a minute,” Heather walked to the kitchen.

He could hear her about the kitchen and he felt like the good time to run but where. He had no choice but to tell even if it was apparent Mattie didn’t want her to know about there past.

July 24, 2010
Time: 4:30am
Location: my last time in my bedroom here in Madison.
Emotion: Embarrassed

I am so embarrassed right now with the whole Heather situation. What’s worse than that? Knowing that Alex is out there explaining it all to Heather, I heard everything… I am way beyond embarrassed with how Heather has acted. I mean I know she is like that but I had told her he was off limits.

I want to go out there but, I also don’t want to put Alex on the spot. I’ll just have to give Heather a little piece of my mind later. I hate to say this but tomorrow all I will be drinking is red bull.

Of course Alex would say nothing is going on between us. Why does Heather insist on finding out what hasn’t happened? I know I lied when I said I have not slept with him but I know she was talking about the present so technically it is true.

I can’t wait to leave, I love Heather and I guess in a way I have fault in the way she is. It’s a complicated story really I met Heather outside the mall; she was singing with her guitar just who ever passed by could give her some coins. I was feeling extra friendly and so I dropped her twenty. Wrong idea from then on she followed me through the mall till she befriended me.

She told me about her life and I felt sorry for her she has had a horrible life going from orphanage to orphanage till she was kicked out at age eighteen. I sort of offered her a meal and little by little she started to come by more often. I didn’t mind and soon I was able to find her a nice little job taking care of children for some of the students in school who were struggling with there kids. You’d be surprised how many single mothers’ go to school…

Heather has a good heart she does and she is very sweet, she is very liberal though. She is always involved with PETA and she is active in saving earth. She is a modern hippie that’s what I call her. I guess in a way I see why she seeks so much attention… I can’t help but to worry about her. She is young and now she won’t have me to come too. I hate to admit I’m going to miss her.

I should try to sleep at least an hour and hope that tomorrow I can get everything done. I have to face Heather who is a horrible person at keeping secrets and Alex at that… I sort of still haven’t told him about possibly renting with him. God can my life get anymore complicated?

Mattie.

*******

“Alex?” Mattie patted Alex’s shoulder as he slept leaning on the wall. She smiled when he woke up startled. “Ouch,” Mattie said bring her hand to her left cheek bone. She should have moved away, he had hit her hard on her face and now her cheek was in pain and burning slightly.

“Oh shit! Mattie I am so sorry…” Alex said going toward her. “Let me see,” Alex said making her look up he gently removed her hand from her left cheek holding his chuckle as he saw the red spot. “I am so sorry… It doesn’t look so bad,” he said as he touched it a little.

“Yeah well your not the one who will end up with a bruise,” Mattie said as she stepped away. “Let’s just get ready ok we have a lot to do. I will probably get you back later anyway.” She gave him a quick smile before she disappeared back into her room.

He smiled at her and began to chuckle as he grabbed his bag to get his tooth brush as he headed to the bathroom. “Why god?” he whispered as he walked into the restroom remembering the events earlier with Heather. “I was fine moving on and then you had to bring her right back…” he said looking up at the ceiling.

******

Mattie wiped the sweat from her forehead as she handed Alex another box. “How many more do we have left,” he asked as he saw his watch. His stomach announcing he was hungry.

Mattie sighed, “Just a few more,” she said looking at the stack of boxes that were now ready to be loaded onto the big truck.

“Yeah? I’m starving how about you?” he asked looking at her. She had no makeup on and her hair was a mess some of her bangs sticking to her face from the sweat. Yet she still look pretty, “How about we take a break it’s past two.”

Mattie bit her lip as the sound of food made her stomach announce it was hungry. “Yeah ok,” Mattie said as she turned toward her room screaming, “Heather, get over here we’re going to get something to eat!”

“Yay food!” Heather said coming out all happy showing no evidence of what had just happened earlier. “Vegetarian right?” she asked with a quizzical brow.

“No!” Mattie said her eyes widening. “I want meat lots and lots of meat…” she said laughing at the look Heather made.

“How about the Pizza place just down the street? They make a good veggie pizza for me…” Heather said.

“Anything sounds good to me,” Alex said.

“Ok pizza it is…” Mattie said as she tried to fix he tussled hair.

“I’m just going to go to the restroom real quick,” Alex said walking toward it.

“Ok I’ll go get my purse,” Mattie said only to be stopped by Alex.

“I’ll get it for you just go ahead and finish that one box you have there,” he said before he disappeared into the restroom.

******

He smiled as he walked into her room well it was now mostly empty but a few boxes. He spotted her purse beside one of the unfinished boxes he walked to it picking up her purse. He couldn’t help but peek into the box where something caught his eye.

He knew what it was… it was the only letter he ever sent to Mattie after she had left him. It was one and only attempt to win her back… he took it out and read it. But before he could read it he found the picture of him and Mattie at his prom and the one for her prom. He smiled as he saw them… he couldn’t help but wondered where in these pictures did it show that they would not be together forever. “Coming,” Alex said as he heard both Heather and Mattie calling him.

He put everything back in the envelope and grabbed her purse, “I just couldn’t find your purse,” he said handing it to her. “Let’s go.”

The walked a couple of blocks and were now at Little Italy… “It smells so good,” he said as he opened the door for both of them.

******

“Thanks,” Mattie told Alex as she poured him some more rum and coke.

“It’s no big deal,” Alex said as he leaned into the wall. “So are you going to miss this,” he asked as he looked around the empty apartment.

“Yeah in a way…” Mattie said as she got comfortable too. “Wow it so quiet without Heather around,” she said taking a drink from her glass.

“Yeah… she is something else.” Alex said laughing a little. “But I bet you will miss her the most.”

“Yeah I will… I’m so sorry about her behavior.” She bit her lip turning a little red. “I sort of heard everything last night…”

“Oh…” Alex suddenly began to cough.

“You ok?” Mattie asked laughing…

“Yeah sorry…” Alex said clearing his throat. “I just got surprised there and well I had to turn her down.”

“Yeah? Well I bet she is pissed at that… she had her eyes on you since she saw you.” Mattie said laughing at Alex who was turning red. “That’s just the way she is…maybe we should have told her you were gay… she wouldn’t have gotten near you.”

“Haha very funny,” Alex said as he watched Mattie laugh till she was lying on the floor in fits of laughter. “Ok that’s enough.” He said putting his drink down and poking her side only startling her making her throw her drink right at him.

Mattie began to laugh harder as Alex gasped as the cold rum and coke hit his shirt. “Oh my god…I’m so sorry.” She said between laughs.

“You got your payback,” Alex said as he quickly removed his shirt. Using it to wipe his chest and neck, “Great my back is already in the truck,” Alex said as he put his wet shirt aside.

“Want to borrow one of mine?” Mattie asked finally composed. She was just looking at Alex and the fact that he was now shirtless.

“Uh no… I’ll just go outside and get me a shirt.” Alex said as he stood up.

“Ok,” Mattie said as she tried to stand up only stumble she grabbed onto Alex for support.

“Easy there…” Alex said giggling as he helped her till she could stand. He looked at her she was definitely tipsy but she looked happy in some way… “Can I let go?” He asked as he looked at her hands one was on his chest while the other held to his arm, she was so close he could smell her hair.

“I think so,” Mattie said opening her eyes to meet his. “I think that is my cue to stop drinking.”

“Yeah,” Alex chuckled sighing as he looked at her hand that had a tight grip on his arm. He looked at it and then to her face but she still did not loosen her grip. “Mattie?”

“hmm,” she said as she looked at him sighing as she got more closer to him if it was possible.

“What are you doing?” He asked as he felt her lips on his cheek and then she gently brushed her lips to his. That’s all it took for him to use his other hand to wrap around her waist. He deepened the kiss as Mattie wrapped her arms around his neck pulling toward her bedroom.

********

Alex groaned as he heard the loud sound that could only come from an alarm. “Ugh,” he mumbled as he tried to find the source with his hands still not opening his eyes. That’s when he felt someone’s arm… he froze as he remembered what happened.

He opened his eyes slowly only to be faced by Mattie who had a smile on her face. “Hi,” he said clearing his throat.

“Hi,” Mattie said as she finally stopped the phone from going off. “Finally your awake.” She told him.

“Yep…” Alex said as he sat up looking around. “What time is it?” He asked when he really wanted to asked if last night had really happened.

“It’s nine on a Monday morning and we have to head out.” Mattie said as she pointed to his bag, “I brought it in for you… now get dressed so we can hit the road Jack.” She quickly stood up and walked out of the room leaving him there.

He was in loss of words, Mattie was definitely acting weird. He was naked under the blanket and he could remember clearly everything. He would find out later… he would to talk to her but for now he was right they needed to head out.

*******

July 26, 2010
Time: 11:00am
Location: the back seat of Brian’s ford…
Emotion: anxious-panicky

So I have been avoiding Alex as much as possible. I have to come out straight forward and say…. It finally happened we slept together. I blame myself for it… I was the one to kiss him first. I don’t know where it came from it would be nice to blame it on the alcohol but nope I was tipsy but very aware.

Maybe it was the moment and that fact that it made me yearn to be back in high school with him. It felt so right though and it scares me, he has tried to talk to me but unfortunately for him and fortunately for me… Heather tagged along.

Yep Heather is right now sitting in the passenger side with Alex as we head back to Florida. I got to love her for her spontaneous decisions… It is giving me enough time to think of what I am going to say to him.

I know he will want an explanation even though he didn’t do much to stop me from going further yesterday. He was much of a participant… well more like he took over. My god I can’t stop thinking about it… it was great.

Argh…. Maybe it is a bad idea to go rent from him. I’m glad I haven’t told him that. What am I going to do? Lord I can feel his stare from the mirror as he pretends to concentrate on the driving. I just hope to continue to stall our conversation… many things tell me to go ahead and go with my instinct.

What is my instinct right now? That I want to kiss him again and have him do so many thing to me… maybe it’s the familiarity we have since we do have a history. God I need to really think this through…

Got to go… we just stopped for gas and bathroom break. Later.

Mattie.

*********

“Hey Heather?” Alex said stopping her from climbing into the front.

“Yeah?”

“Do you mind if I sit in the front? Mattie is driving… for now.” Alex said giving her a smile.

“I can drive if you want?” Heather said with a smile.

“Well actually we are the only two allowed to drive… the owner only lent it to us.” Alex said making a pouting face to mimic the face on Heather.

“Fine,” Heather said climbing into the back seat.

“Hey why are you sitting in my place?” Mattie asked as she came back two red bulls in hand.

“Because your driving,” Alex said handing her the keys.

“What why?” Mattie said as she saw the look on Alex’s face he wanted answers and he looked a little hurt. “OK,” Mattie said taking the keys and handing him a red bull. “That’s for you.”

Mattie tried to concentrate on the road and was a little annoyed at Heather who was very much in her own world… she had borrowed her iPod and was busy humming along. That was not good because now she had Alex’s attention.

She could feel his stare on her and he would shift on his seat quite often clearing his throat. She turned and gave him a nervous smile before turning back to looking at the road ahead. She reached to get her red bull taking a sip; she cleared her throat and went to place it back on the cup holder.

She gasped when she felt his hand pulling her hand to him. She allowed him to intertwine his fingers with his. He gave her a grin as he squeezed her hand, “much better,” he said a she eyed behind to see Heather was now sleeping the iPod on full blast. When he saw that he took her hand and brought up to kiss it.

“I have this whole conversation played in my head about last…night,” Mattie said licking her lips as she continued to stare at Alex and her hand intertwined. “I plan to be able to say it...”

Alex put his finger to his mouth and taking off his sunglasses he turned to look at her. “I know you are not yourself right now… so let’s just say I understand. No matter what I am your friend with benefits apparently.” He chuckled giving her a sincere smile. Slow things between them had to be taken slow. But that still didn’t stop him from feeling the hole he carried in his heart begin to start to heal after almost eleven years.

Mattie chuckled… “You will always be my friend too and maybe just maybe there will be benefits along the way. But we will talk just not here,” she turned her head slightly toward Heather.

“Yeah later we’ll talk,” Alex said smiling a little as he realized she was ok with there hands being intertwined.

*******

“I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger with tater tots and a milkshake Vanilla.” Mattie said as she looked at the menu.

“Hungry?” Alex said coming back from the men’s room. He smiled as Mattie made room for him to sit next to her in the booth.

“Yes very… If you recall we have been working our asses off.” Mattie said.

“True… I’ll have the same but no milkshake instead a large tea.” He said just as Heather came back too taking a seat in front of them.

“Did you guys already order?” She asked as she looked at the menu making a face of horror. “My god do you have anything that does not have meat?” she asked the waitress.

“Fries and the garden salad.” She answered.

“Well I’ll have the garden salad and a water.” Heather said handing the menu back to the waitress. “The next stop I am choosing where we are eating…” she made a disgusted face.

“I don’t know…” Mattie said making a goofy face toward her.

Heather eyed them cautiously and then a smile spread on her face, “Mattie you bad girl…” she said laughing hardily.

Mattie’s eyes widen but tried to not to blush not working. Alex only smiled and too began to blush.

“Last night while I was gone… you two did the nasty didn’t you?” Heather said pointing to Mattie then to Alex. “I knew it…see I told you.” she said looking at Alex. “I told you I was physic.”

“No she is not she is a hoax,” Mattie said looking at Alex.

“She read my hand the other day… and she sort of mentioned something like this would happen,” Alex whispered into Mattie’s ears. “I thought she really was just being weird.”

“Hey I am not weird,” Heather said sticking out her tongue.

“For a twenty four year old you are pretty annoying and childish,” Mattie said staring at her friend.

“You two will end up being married mark my words!” Heather said eyeing them. “You should see your aurora’s they are looking more alive more shades of green not like when you guys arrived.”

“Your order is ready,” the waitress said giving everyone there order. “Here’s the ketchup.”

“Ma’am can I get some mustard please,” Mattie said smiling at her.

“Regular or what kind?” the waitress asked.

“Regular please…”

Alex chuckled and looked at Mattie, “I see you still like mustard on everything…”

Mattie smiled and stuck her tongue out at him. “What can I say…”

********

July 27, 2010
Time 1:00am
Location: Tallahassee Florida… finally in Florida.
Emotion: hopeful

I can’t help maybe start to believe Heather about her being physic. Maybe because in some bizarre way I want or yearn to be married and Alex would not be a bad candidate, he brings a smile to face just to think of him.

I am thankful he didn’t pressure me for an explanation. I do have one I just don’t know how to explain it with out sounding stupid. I think we will be fine… maybe we could be more than friend’s maybe. I still remember him telling me about Sharon.

I know they are on a break but what I don’t know is how deep his feelings for her are. I mean I broke his heart and it’s been almost eleven years since we actually saw each other. I have had my share of boyfriends since him and yet I have to admit no one has made me feel like he has.

Anyway I can’t wait to arrive, I want to see Evelyn and tell her I love her. Evelyn is a fresh new start for me and I plan to make the best of it. I have actually brought her a few souvenirs from all the states we crossed. I know for sure when she is older I am taking her to Wisconsin so she can experience snow in December not like here…

Well I have to go I think I need to relieve Alex from driving. He looks exhausted and could use a nap. Later.

Mattie.

*******

“Aunt Matilda!” Evelyn said as she ran to her leaving her teacher’s side.

“Evelyn… please it Mattie.” I told her hugging her.

“So you’re the famous Aunt Mattie,” the blued eye very tanned and young teacher said as he approached them.

“Yeah…” Mattie said with a little curiosity to the way the teacher seemed to already know about her.

“I’m sorry where my manners, I’m Nick Carter Evelyn’s art Teacher.” He extended his hand giving her a grin. “She just loves to talk about you and how great you are, I was beginning to think you were part of her imagination… since she has been put through a lot this year.” He said.

“No I am pretty real,” Mattie said looking at Evelyn who smiled at her teacher.

“Aunt Mattie you should see Mr. Carter’s drawings there freaking awesome!” she said giggling.

“I bet he is an art teacher,” Mattie said smiling at him. He was one of those guys that you just couldn’t help smile at because he was so god damn handsome. He was a pretty boy; she assumed he was like that since his childhood.

“So she told me your moving down here again,” Nick said as he looked at her.

“Yeah I see she shares to much information,” Mattie said messing with her hair.

“Hey Evelyn,” Alex yelled from his car. He had driven Mattie to pick her up from school they were both sleep deprived but it meant a lot to her and so he offered to come pick her up.

“Alex!” Evelyn said running toward his car leaving Mattie and Nick standing there.

Nick’s grin sort of disappeared when he saw Alex. “So I see she likes her uncle too.”

Mattie laughed at his comment, “Not my husband just a really good friend.” she extended her hand to him. “It was nice meeting you Mr. Carter.”

“Nick, please call me Nick.” He smiled and then he spoke again, “I hope you will come to the talent show we are having… I don’t know if Evelyn told you she is participating with magic tricks.” He raised his brows to emphasize his comment.

“Ooh, no she didn’t but I might just be here.” She told him turning to see Alex and Evelyn laughing about something.

“You know family can participate in the talent show.” Nick said grinning.

“Haha, yeah I am not going to do that but thanks for the insight. I really have to go.” she shook his hand one more time walking back to the car.

**********

“Heather?” Alex yelled as they entered his house.

“Over here,” She yelled from the kitchen. “While you two went to pick up Evelyn I cooked some spaghetti meat free and a nice salad.”

“It smells good,” Evelyn said looking at her. “Is that your girlfriend Alex?”

Alex began to laugh, “No sweetie,” he said eying Mattie who was laughing hysterically.

“Evelyn that is my friend and roommate from Wisconsin she moved down here with me.” Mattie said finally controlling her laughs.

“Oh,” She walked up to her and smiled, “I’m Evelyn and I like your long pretty red hair.”

“Well thank you,” Heather said shaking her hand. “I’m Heather and I can tell you and me are going to be good friends. So how about we eat?”

Just then Cleo ran in a big pink bow around her neck. “What is that?” Alex said eyeing his dog.

“She needed something to bring her eyes out,” Heather said as she called Cleo who obediently went to her wagging her nearly nothing of a tail.

“I think you should definitely be a dog trainer,” Alex said as he watched Cleo obey something she didn’t do quite often.

********

“Yeah a talent show and I am going to do magic tricks Uncle Sam is showing me.” Evelyn said excitedly as they lounged in Alex’s living room after lunch.

“Wow your uncle Sam’s magic tricks…” Mattie said rolling her eyes remembering her brother Sam’s old magic tricks.

“You know Aunt Mattie you could join the talent show too,” Evelyn said as she got on her lap.

“Uhm no… sweets I am talentless.” She gave her a sad look.

“Well how about you Alex will you be in the talent show?” Evelyn asked smiling at him with anticipation.

“I don’t know…” he said smiling nervously.

“You could sing,” Heather said looking at him. “I get that you can sing well… I get that from your energy.”

“Yeah me too,” Evelyn said looking silly.

“Oh no we have another physic,” Mattie said tickling Evelyn.

“I don’t know…” Alex said.

“Please Alex? I will practice with you…” Evelyn said walking away from Mattie to sit on Alex’s lap. “Please with a cherry on top?”

“Only because you added a cherry on top…” Alex said smiling at her. “So I guess now I also have to practice my singing.”

*******

Mattie kissed Evelyn’s forehead as she walked out of the room she would be staying at for the time being. She needed a smoke so bad, she opened the door and walked out into the dark hallway. She gasped when she bumped into someone calming down when she saw it was Alex. “You scared me.”

“Sorry… I couldn’t sleep. What are you doing up?” he asked.

“I needed a cigarette,” she told him as she began to walk toward the back sliding glass door.

“Can I join you?” Alex asked subtly.

“Yeah sure,” Mattie said as she turned on the light from the back. She rubbed her arms as she realized that the breeze was a little chilly.

“Yep hurricane season is amongst us,” Alex said as he walked out behind her. He took a deep breath as the breeze hit them.

“Ugh, I forgot about hurricane season.” Mattie said as she lit a cigarette. “Want one?” she asked Alex.

“Yes,” Alex taking a cigarette for himself.

“Alex,” Mattie started as she took a seat on one of the patio chairs. She waited for Alex to take a seat too… “I think it would be good time to talk,” she told him.

“Ok,” Alex said looking at her. “I should go first.”

“Why? If I was the one to assault you…” Mattie said smiling as she remembered it all.

“Well yeah but I could’ve stopped you if I wanted to.” Alex said grinning. “I have to say when Brian told me you were back, I felt my heart rejoice. I wanted to see you and see what you’ve had become. That day at the funeral I could not keep my eyes off you. Especially in that dress… I didn’t want us to break up. I was very honest that night when you broke up with me… I was in love with you.”

Mattie laughed a little, “Were in love with me…”

“I thought I had gotten you out of my system when you never answered my letter pleading for you to think it through. I have to admit then I did have a few girlfriends. Then finally two years ago I met Sharon and well I have to say I do feel something special for her… but seeing you has only lit my heart back on fire.” He said finishing his cigarette.

Mattie stared at him, “I never got over you either but I was to of coward to call and tell you that… it took me two years to finally say that I was over you. Then I see you again and…” Mattie shook her head. “I can’t help but to want to be with you.” she whispered looking at him straight in the eyes.

Alex leaned into her, cupping her face, “I don’t know where this leaves us…” he said as he leaned in lightly brushing his lips to hers.

Mattie moaned as he deepened the kiss… he had definitely gotten better at his kissing. She could feel every inch of her body begin to feel a surge of electricity… his kisses where making it harder to breathe.

“Mattie,” Alex whispered as he stood up bringing her up with him. He wrapped his arms around her waist smiling when Mattie moaned wrapping her arms around his neck. Not parting from the kiss he began to back her back into the house.

“Shh…” Mattie said as she realized what was happening. “We don’t want Evelyn or Heather to hear.”

“Right I forgot we had Evelyn… and Heather.” He said stopping and pulling her back toward the patio and into a smaller house he had in the back of his yard. She was in awe as she realized it was a sort of gym and half office. “Now no one will hear us,” he said as he kissed her neck and brought his hands to the hem of her night shirt. He slowly began to raise it stopping to pull it off.

Mattie blushed as she put her hands over her breasts, “I just…” she bit her lip as she turned to look at him.

“You look beautiful,” Alex said as he pulled his own muscle shirt over his head. He gently took her hands away from her chest smiling when she blushed. “A little to late blush remember I already saw them.”

“Yeah but I was a little drunk so my insecurity level was not that high.” She told him.

He grinned as he reached for her waist bringing her close to him, feeling her skin on his made him tremble… he picked her head so she was looking at him. He leaned in and took her lips hungrily.

******

“Good morning,” Mattie said as Evelyn walked into the kitchen.

“It smells good.” Evelyn said.

“How did you sleep?” Mattie asked as she helped her take a seat placing a plate of pancakes for her on the table.

“Good… are you taking me to school today?” Evelyn asked as she poured loads of syrup on her pancakes.

“Ok that’s enough we don’t want you to be to hyperactive at school.” Mattie said laughing at Evelyn’s pout.

“Where are Heather and Alex?”

“I’m right here,” Alex said coming out showered and dress. He ruffled her hair before walking to the coffee pot. “You made coffee…” he said smiling as he served himself some.

“Yep,” Mattie said coming up to him. “How are you this fine morning?” She asked him.

“I’ve have to say that last night was one of my best nights, I slept like a baby.” He winked at her as his hand grazed her thigh. He looked toward to Evelyn who seemed to be too busy with her pancakes, so he swiftly leaned in and kissed her.

Mattie kissed him back forgetting that Evelyn was just in front of them.

“Ew…” Evelyn said as she stood up. “Aunt Mattie you kissed Alex.” she crossed her hands over her chest.

Mattie laughed and hid her face into Alex’s chest. “That’s right she did,” Alex said grinning.

“Does that mean you’re my uncle now?” Evelyn asked excitedly.

Alex shrugged and cleared his throat, “Not yet no… but I can tell you that I care very much for Mattie.”

“So what are you then? Her boyfriend?” Evelyn asked giggling.

“YES!” Mattie said running up to Evelyn… “Quit being so nosey…” she told her as she began to tickle her.

“Need help?” Alex said as he picked Evelyn up twirling her around.

“Ok that’s enough Evelyn needs to get ready to get to school.” Mattie said smiling as she saw Alex’s interaction with Evelyn.

“Ok,” Alex said putting her down.

“Go get your school stuff…” Mattie told Evelyn who quickly ran to the room to get them.

“So my girlfriend shall we continue what got interrupted?” he said pulling her toward him kissing her.

*******

“Ok now lets hurry we don’t want you to be late and I don’t want to be late to my first day of work.” Mattie told Evelyn as she walked her to her class.

“Ok how many more days for my summer school to be over Aunt Mattie?” Evelyn as she hopped along side with Mattie.

“Just two more weeks’ sweets.”

“Yay…” Evelyn said jumping up and down. “Look Aunt Mattie there is Mr. Carter…”

“Well look who has arrived,” Nicks said high fiving the five year old. “Good morning Miss Benson,” Nick said grinning.

“Good morning and its Mattie.” Mattie stated not being able to smile back, his smile was contagious.

“Aunt Mattie there is my class,” Evelyn said tugging on her hand.

“Ok well I’ll see you tomorrow ok, Nana Louise is picking you up.” She bent down to kiss her niece. She smiled as she watched her go into her classroom. “I must go I have to get to work.” She extended her hand shaking his hand.

“See you around Mattie,” Nick said as he watched her walk out.

******

“I can’t Sharon,” Alex said into his phone. “I already told you were right we need a break and I am not ready to take you back.” Alex said hanging up.

He smiled when he saw Mattie walking in, “You’re late,” he said in a teasing way.

“I am so sorry boss I was stuck in traffic,” Mattie said playing along.

“Yeah that is so weird I’ve lived here in Clewiston almost all my life and never have I seen traffic till now…” he laughed.

“Ok it wont happen again,” Mattie said as she walked to the bar and looking at him. “So what do I do?”

********

July 26, 2010
Time: 1:00pm
Location: bathroom stall in the skulls and bones bar.
Emotion: Happy?

I don’t know where to start… Alex and I are together. I know I’ve mentioned before that I think Evelyn is happier than me about this. She saw us kissing this morning and she even asked if she could call him uncle.

Of course we are taking it slow… well in the relationship part except for the sex. I just can’t keep myself from that… which me brings me to what Heather told us at that diner. I can’t help to now think that it would be so awesome to marry Alex.

I know I shouldn’t rush to conclusions but I am happy. Like part of my sadness and anger are gone replaced by him. I am feeling things I had stop feeling long time ago. I know this may sound stupid but maybe it’s true what they say you never forget your first love.

I hope everything goes smoothly but then again my family doesn’t even know where I am staying at and now I have to get prepared for the first hearing… with my lawyer and my mother’s lawyer. I don’t want to fight with my mother I love her but Emmy trusts me so she has no right assuming I won’t be able to raise Evelyn.

I am a woman… I feel and I will see Evelyn as my own daughter. Crap I have to go back to work. I don’t want to get fired. Later.

Mattie.

********

[Heather singing]

I wish you could step off that ledge my friend

You could cut ties with all the lies

That you’ve been living in,

And if you do not want to see me again,

I would understand

I would understand

Heather stopped playing when Alex began to clap. “You scared the crap out of me… where’s Mattie.” Heather said as she put her guitar away.

“She is at Brian’s she wanted to thank him personally for loaning her his truck. Nice choice of song.” Alex said sitting beside her. “I have an idea… will you play the guitar for me on the talent show?”

“I may like to do that what song?” Heather asked as she took her guitar out again.

“Well I love this one song from Matchbox twenty called “Bright lights” since it came out… do you know it?” Alex asked.

“I might…” Heather as she began to play with the strings of her guitar.

Alex smiled as he began to nod to the beat and cleared his throat as he began to sing:

She got out of town
On a railway New York bound
Took all except my name
Another alien on Broadway

There’s some things in this world
You just can’t change
Something’s you can’t see
Until it gets too late

Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I’m up against out in this world

Maybe, maybe, maybe
You’ll find something that’s enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don’t receive you
You can turn yourself around and come back home

I got a hole in me now…

He stopped singing when he saw Mattie standing there listening. “Something like that.” He said smiling to Heather. “You’re good.”

“Thanks I know.” Heather said as she continued to sing the song.

I got a scar I can talk about
She keeps a picture of me
In her apartment in the city

Some things in this world
They don’t make sense
Some things you don’t need
Until they leave you
And they’re things that you miss

Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I’m up against out in this world

Maybe, maybe, maybe
You’ll find something that’s enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don’t receive you
You can turn yourself around and come back home

Yeah come on home
Baby, baby, baby, baby come on home
Yeah come on home, Yeah come on home
Yeah come on home
Baby, baby, baby, baby come on home

She finished the song and giggled. “Nice choice of song…we just need to practice. So when is this talent show anyway?” she asked.

“This Friday,” Mattie said clapping.

“Well we should practice more then…”


******
song#1: Jumper-Third eye blind
song#2: Bright lights-Matchbox 20

“Here you go,” Mattie said as she served yet another drink. It was not such a bad job and with Alex’s supervision she was doing good for her first night.

“Oh shit,” Alex said to Mattie as he pointed to the entrance of the bar. There stood Mrs. Benson with two other people.

“What the…what are they doing here?” Mattie said as she recognized Lizzy and Ricky who had apparently accompanied her mother. “Can I take five?” she asked Alex as she began to walk out from behind the bar. She cleared her throat and met them at the entrance.

“Well I see you found just where to fit in. You still expect to win this custody?” Louise told her daughter.

“Mom it’s a job, I need one if I am going to be living here for Evelyn’s sake.” Mattie said annoyed and without more walked to the door. “Just let’s go outside and talk.”

“This isn’t going to look good…” Ricky said taking a picture of her with a shirt promoting the bar.

“What is all this about? Who told you where I work anyway.” Mattie said with anger.

“Evelyn just keeps talking about how much fun she is having with you… then today she tells you working here and that Alex is your boyfriend because you two were kissing.” Lizzy said crossing her arms.

“Shit,” Mattie said realizing she had not thought of that, of course Evelyn would talk.

“Hey everything ok?” Alex said coming out with a concerned look. “Hi Mrs. Benson.” He said politely.

“I’ll be fine just go back in Alex.” Mattie said as tears began to fall down her eyes.

“Alex McLean?” Ricky said with sarcasm as he saw the man. “Well shit look at that you old boyfriend is back and I can see why…”

“You’ve changed so much from when I remember you…” Louise said eyeing Alex with disgust. “Now we know where Mattie got her horrible taste in style.”

“Mother! He has nothing to do with the way I lived all these years… that’s one and secondly I hadn't seen him till the day of Emmy’s funeral so leave all that venom for me who is the one you are mad at right now.” Mattie said defensively giving Alex an apologetic look. “Alex please just let me talk them…”

“I hope you know the judge will hear and see evidence on how unsuitable you are to care for Evelyn… who is Evelyn going to be with while you come here to attend the bar?” Louise said ignoring her daughter.

“I know I can take care of her… why don’t you come out and say what really is bothering you about all this… it’s the fact that Emmy chose me instead of you. Or is it the fact that daddy spoke to me one last time before he passed? That he stayed true to his words and waited for me to arrive to say goodbye? Why can’t you just look at me and be proud of whom I’ve become… I have a degree mother, I might not stay here long I tend to get a job in my field. Or do you hate me because I ran… ran away from this life. I mean look at Lizzy she married right after high school and where is she? Right divorced… and Ricky still close to mom always a momma’s boy. Mom I was born to be independent. So stop trying to say I am not capable of taking care of Evelyn because I can… and tell me what really is bothering you. You’re the one that called remember? You called me and you told me about Emmy… you had the choice to leave me out.” Mattie began to cry as she confronted her mother.

“I think you should go and just Mattie will see you at the hearing,” Alex said as he hugged Mattie who began to sob.

“Who are you to tell what to do? Didn’t she dump you? She probably is using you just because you are letting her stay at your house.” Ricky said defensively.

“I am not going to answer back at that because I know your saying that out of anger but get the hell out of my property now!” Alex said as he turned to look toward the entrance of the bar hoping to catch the attention of a security guard.

“Don’t go looking for Evelyn tomorrow I won’t let you take her… god knows what your teaching her. We don’t need another one of you running around in the family.” Louise said as she walked away with her other two kids.

*******

“Here drink this… its good to calm down your nerves.” Heather said as she sat beside Mattie on the bed. “Oh just let me go give your stupid family a piece of my mind!”

“How are you doing?” Alex said walking into her room. “I called Brian and he is at the bar so I could come down here to be with you.” He said as he saw her, she was a mess balled up tissues all around her.

“I’m going to and take Cleo for a walk,” Heather said leaning in kissing Mattie’s forehead. “Remember big breaths.”

“Ok, thanks Heather even for the tea,” Mattie said eyeing the tea with disgust.

Alex waited for Heather to be out before he took a seat beside Mattie wrapping an arm around her. “Want to talk about it?” He asked as he rubbed her hand.

Mattie laughed wryly, “I’ve lost her haven’t I?” she grabbed another Kleenex as she felt another fit of tears threatening to come out.

“Hell no Mattie, you are going to show them who you are. I know that it will take some convincing but you did the most selfish act by leaving your life and coming down here to make sure she is happy.” He kissed her shoulder and sighed, “I will be with you through all this.”

“Thanks I know I shouldn’t have dragged you into this… now my family hates you. Maybe it was a bad idea this… us.” Mattie said feeling a little pain as she said it.

“Now you listen to me… I am actually the happiest man ever at this moment and it’s because I got you back… So don’t say that.” Alex said kissing her hand.

*******

July 30, 2010
Time: 12:00pm
Location: Central Elementary cafeteria slash auditorium.
Emotion: distant

I am here waiting for this talent show to start. Unfortunately mother could not stop me from going to see Evelyn and taking her with me like we were supposed to. I was able to see her, she is super excited about this talent show. I’ve seen her magic tricks… well there really is no magic involved but I acted surprised.

I think she mostly excited about hearing Alex sing the whole song. I have to admit I can’t either he hasn’t allowed me to hear him sing. I still have to see if my family show’s up for this talent show. I had called Sean about it but he unfortunately couldn’t come he had work. Anna lee was going to try and be hear but James got sick at the last minute. So I was alone and I just hope not to get confrontational with them here.

The place is starting to get packed and I can almost feel just as excited I was when I had had a talent show back in my school days. Well I have to go… Mr. Carter is coming this way I don’t want to see me doing this. I’ll tell you later how it all went.

Mattie.

*******

“So your sitting all alone,” Nick said as he finally spotted Mattie.

“Well not really as soon as Alex and Heather perform they will sit here with me, to see Evelyn do her magic tricks.

“Well I hope you enjoy my performance too…” Nick said smiling at her.

“Oh really what are you doing?” Mattie asked curiously.

“I am going to sing, keep a close look for my turn.” Nick said grinning at her.

“OK,” Mattie said just as she saw Alex approach.

“Hey…” Alex said eyeing Nick.

“Hey, this is Evelyn’s art teacher Mr. Carter.” Mattie said introducing him.

“Oh hi,” Alex said sitting in down beside Mattie.

“Nice to meet you Alex… I hear your singing Evelyn is super excited about your performance good luck.” Nick said standing up. “I should go… I see you later Mattie. Remember?” he said pointing to his ear as he walked away.

Mattie only laughed and nodded, “So you nervous?” she asked Alex who only stared at Nick as he walked away.

“A little,” he said finally looking back at her. “I came for my good luck kiss and to give you this…” he hand her a folded piece of paper, “read it after I leave.” He kissed her and walked away.

Mattie smiled as she unfolded the paper and began to read:

Mattie,

This song is the closest to what I feel about you. It best describes just how I feel about our whole situation. I want you to know and at the end you will always have me.

Love,

Alex.

She blushed as she read it; she would definitely have to pay close attention to the song.

*****

July 30, 2010
Time: 11:15pm
Location: Alex’s bed… (Yes he’s sleeping beside me like a baby.)
Emotion: weird

I keep playing Alex’s performance of Matchbox 20 it was awesome. I think Alex could definitely pursue a career in the music business he has the voice.

I realized that song kind of does represent what I did… But most of all I got he is here for me and he has been waiting for me to return. I realized I have a lot to apologize for… I hurt him bad when I left and I intend to make it up to him. I can now say that I still and will always love him.

As I see him here beside me his light snore serving me as a lullaby I can only say I am in happy place… with some dark areas to still work on my major one is the hearing that will happen this next Monday. I am so nervous but Alex is being such a great boyfriend… god who would have thought I would call Alex my boyfriend ever again?

I should try and get some sleep, but I did promise to tell you how it went at the talent show… it was pretty funny and cute. I did listen to Nick’s performance it was very rockish… loved it and he did a very good voice impression of Steve Tyler. I can admit and say he is one handsome art teacher… I kind of have a feeling that Mr. Carter is my baby Evelyn’s first crush. I just notice how she stares at him and giggles at everything he says. Awe… Evelyn is growing, Emmy would be so bawling right at this realization.

Well I really should get a shut eye… we promised Evelyn a fun day at the beach… yep we are going to the beach tomorrow. Good night.

Mattie.

******

Alex smiled as he snuggled closer to Mattie. “what were you doing?” he asked her as he put his arm around her.

“I was writing,” Mattie said as she kissed his nose. “I had to if not I would have forgotten what I wanted to write.”

“Yeah yeah whatever woman,” Alex said kissing her as he poked her on the side of her stomach making her jump.

“No please,” Mattie said as she began to laugh.

“Ok fine… lets go to sleep we have a big day tomorrow.” Alex said.

“Ok,” Mattie said staring at him as he sighed she could still see him well with light that came in through the window from the full moon. “Alex…”

“hmm.” He managed to say as he began to doze off a little.

“I love you… I have always loved you.”

Alex opened his eyes and stared at her, her face was only inches away from his. He smiled at her and then he kissed her deeply catching her by surprise. “I have always loved you.” he said before capturing her lips again in another passionate kiss.

******

“Can you do it again?” Evelyn asked Brian as she sat on his lap.

“Do what?” Brian said in his daffy duck voice.

“That,” Evelyn said laughing as she heard him, “I should have taken you to my talent show.”

Mattie laughed as she heard the conversation between Evelyn and Brian. “She just likes him more than Alex I think.”

“He’s going to make one good father isn’t he?” Leighanne said as she watched his fiancé play with Evelyn. “I can’t wait to be married to him and give him a kid of his own.”

“So when is the wedding?” Mattie asked as she looked at the wave’s crash into the sand. They were still in Ft. Lauderdale enjoying the beach; Alex had invited Brian and Leighanne along.

“In three months. I want a fall wedding,” Leighanne said excitedly. “You know Brian was right you and Alex were meant for one another.”

Mattie only blushed as she saw Alex and Brian playing with Evelyn. “I hope so… I hurt him really bad when I left and I am glad he forgave me.”

“I think its because he knew you would come back…” Leighanne said smiling at her. “My god its three in the afternoon we should head back and maybe first eat somewhere.”

“Good idea… I need food.” Heather said walking to them with a back full of trash.

“What is that?” Mattie asked her as she eyed the bag.

“Well someone has to take care of our oceans… can you believe I found all this when I see a lot of dumpsters along the beach.” Heather said annoyed.

Mattie and Leighanne laughed as they heard her. “Don’t go to New York then,” Leighanne said laughing.

******

August 2, 2010
Time: 3:00pm
Location: Alex’s car on the way back from my first hearing.
Emotion: Numb

I don’t know what to say or what to think. This hearing was all about my family bashing me to the judge. I was a mess a pissed off mess that once or twice was tempted to beat the crap out my siblings especially Ricky.

Am I really that way? My mother described me as whore pretty much… she basically said on every event I would come with a different man. How can she call me that? If I recall Josie was the one to do that quite often in high school yet she has the face to say I am one?

Alex had to hold me literally as I heard myself being described as a selfish brat that had tantrums. I am not like that… why they couldn’t just deal with the fact that Emmy chose me.

The judge should have been named Prudy instead of Judge Miller. She gave me the scold of my life and as of right now till the next hearing in November I have to prove to her I can keep a real job not a bar and I must have a home of my own. I mean I was intending on that… but now I have to speed things up. I can’t believe she is taking my mother’s side… maybe I should request to get another judge.

I am not going down easy though if I have to change even more I will. Evelyn is the only thing I have left from my sister and I intend on making sure her last wish is fulfilled and that means I will have custody of Evelyn.

Mattie.

********

“Fuck,” Mattie said as she threw her high heels onto the floor in her room. She was frustrated and was literally scared of loosing Evelyn.

“It will be fine,” Alex said as he walked in startling her a little. “You know I love you right?”

Mattie nodded her head and gave him a weak smile, “Well you need to prove to the judge that you have a steady home, guess what you do.” Alex said giving her a grin… as he kneeled down in front of her taking deep breath. “I have always wanted to say this to you… Mattie marry me.”

Mattie was in shock as she realized what Alex was saying. She swallowed hard and she felt her heart almost jump out of her chest… “I…. would love to Alex but aren’t you rushing things?”

“No… if we can arrange and organize a small ceremony in a month we can prove to the judge you have a stable home with a husband who owns his own business and can take care of you and Evelyn. I would love to do that… take care of you and Evelyn. I don’t know about Heather…” he smiled as he saw the tears coming down Mattie’s face.

“I don’t know how to thank you… I just don’t want you to rush this just to help me.” Mattie said.

“I am not rushing anything… I actually been waiting for this moment for quite sometime. Except instead you broke up with me… but now that I have a chance and I know you would want to work this out why not get married?” he asked as he kissed her lips.

“Ok let’s get married…” Mattie said hugging him. “I have a wedding to plan…”

“Yep you do.” Alex said. He kissed her and then smiled, “I have an engagement ring to go buy. I will see later at the bar ok?”

“Yeah… I’m going to go see Evelyn and tell her I am still fighting for her.”

******

Mattie walked into the bar and smiled as she saw Alex was already at work with the other people that worked for him. “Hey,” Mattie said leaning in to kiss him.

“Hey how is Evelyn taking the news?” he asked as he looked up from the drink he was preparing.

“She says she is going to pray that I win…I so close to telling her about us. But I know its hard for a five year old to keep a secret.”

Alex laughed, “I sort of told Brian… he is our witness.” He said as he finished what was doing and handed over to one of the other co-workers. “come here,” he said as he walked toward the office in the back of the bar.

“Ok,” Mattie said following him.

He dug out from his pocket a beautiful ring and took her hand. He gently placed on her left ring finger smiling… “Perfect…it used to be my grandmothers.”

“I like it,” Mattie said as she stared at her hand and then to Alex. Her eyes widened and then she gasped… “Have you realized that Heather has been right so far? We are getting married.”

“Shit your right…maybe she has found her calling.” Alex said giggling.

“Maybe I should ask her if I will win custody for Evelyn.” Mattie said as she continued to stare at her hand.

“Babe it’s just a coincidence.” Alex said leaning in to kiss her.

*******

Sharon saw as Alex and some woman walked giggled up to his porch. “Alex?”

Alex froze as he heard Sharon’s voice, “Sharon? What are you doing here?” he asked as he saw her sitting on one of the chairs on the porch.

“I had to come see you since you won’t answer my calls.” Sharon said as she eyed Mattie who was just silent. “Who’s she?”

“I’m Mattie,” Mattie said giving her a small smile. “I think you two need to talk I’ll just go inside and wait for you.” she winked at Alex.

“Mattie…” Alex said looking at her, “Its fine stay.”

“Are you two…” Sharon said cutting there little conversation short. “I can’t believe you…” she said bitterly.

“Why not? You broke up with me remember? You wanted a break and I didn’t you made the choice,” Alex said a little irritated by Sharon’s reaction.

“Because of this you idiot,” Sharon said walking up to him with a letter in hand. “Open it… read it.”

Alex looked at her confused as he did as he was told. He eyed the letter and for an instant he felt like he was going to faint. “When did you find out?” he asked his face turning pale as he looked at Sharon then to a very confused Mattie.

“I had my suspicions so I went to the doctor and he confirmed it I am three months pregnant.” Sharon said as she looked at Mattie with a sneer.

Mattie heart felt like he it had completely stopped as she heard that Alex’s ex was pregnant. She looked at Alex who was still in shock himself. “I have to go…” she whispered as she began to walk and then before she knew it she was running.

******

“Mattie?” Leighanne said as she opened the door to the house “What are you doing here? Are you hear to show me the ring?” Leighanne asked a smile illuminating her face.

“No…” she began to sob.

“Who’s at the door?” Brian asked as he walked into the foyer. “Mattie? What’s wrong?”

Mattie only crumbled to the floor as all her emotions came through. “I am bad luck,” she said as she tried to calm down. “Sharon was waiting for Alex when we got home.” She said as she finally composed herself. “She’s pregnant.”

“My god,” Leighanne said making the cross sign as she heard Mattie. “I am so sorry Mattie,” she told her hugging her.

Mattie shrugged…. “I should’ve known that all this that was happening between Alex and me was to good to be true.”

“Do you mind if I stay here tonight?”

“Of course not sweetie here come on in. I’m just going to call Alex to let him know you’re here…” Brian said.

******

“I want you to help out with the baby Alex. I love you and I want us to work it out. Either that or you loose any rights to this baby.” Sharon said as she looked at Alex.

“I want to be part of the baby’s life… I don’t intend to be like my father. But I can’t be with you… Sharon I don’t feel the same way for you anymore.”

Sharon began to cry as she heard him only making Alex feel guilty. “I made a mistake by telling you to give me some space and I come back and you don’t love me anymore? What does she have that I don’t?” she asked him as she took a seat and began to sob.

“Sharon me and you have been over for a while…” Alex said as he took a seat beside her.

“I love you…” Sharon said surprising him with a kiss that somehow he could not deny her. She was going to give him a baby one with his blood running through his veins. He felt rejoice in his heart yet he felt anguish as he remembered the call from Brian about Mattie.

*******

August 3, 2010
Time: 3:00am
Location: Brian’s comfy couch
Emotion: defeated

I knew Heather was a hoax… I am here trying to understand what has just occurred. I am about to loose Evelyn and as I find a wonderful solution someone stomps right on it. Sharon showed up today at Alex’s house.

What I thought was going to be a talk about there relationship turned down hill when she told him she was pregnant. PREGNANT… Sharon was giving my Alex a baby and I can’t help to admit that even though he was shocked and angry when he heard the news I saw the look on his face. It was pride…. He was having a baby. Why shouldn’t he be happy?

I haven’t been able to sleep so here I am and I’ve decided that I don’t want to come between Alex and his baby. I know Alex still feels something for Sharon and it can grow back to love. She could not live with herself if she got in between that… Alex needed to be there for his baby.

So I am back to square one… I need to find a place and another job. I don’t even know how I am going to tell Alex I won’t be marrying him.

Mattie.

“Thanks for lending me the bike,” Mattie told Leighanne since Brian was already gone to work.

“Hey it’s no problem,” Leighanne said giving her a sympathetic smile. “Hey… I am here if you ever need anything.”

Mattie gave her a soft smile, “No wonder Brian loves you… thanks I’ll keep that in mind.” She finished before she began to pedal. She did not know where she was going and she didn’t care that it looked like rain was rolling in as the big cumulus clouds began to invade the blue sky hiding the sun from the earth.

Leighanne watched as she left she sighed heavily. This only made her wonder how Alex had taken the news about being a father. She finally stopped looking toward her she had vanished so she began to walk back up to the house when she heard a car pull up. She turned in time realize it was Alex.

“Is she ok?” he asked as he got out of the car. He had a tired looked on him and he looked tormented.

“Physically?” Leighanne asked she shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Can I talk to her?” he asked as he made his way up to her kissing her on the cheek.

“She’s not here,” Leighanne said casually and Alex stopped on is tracks.

“Where did she go?” Alex asked letting out a sigh.

“I don’t know but she was not going to your house just yet.” Leighanne said as she took a seat on her steps patting the empty side so Alex could sit.

Alex shrugged and honestly wanted to just leave, find Mattie but he obliged; he took a seat beside her. “What are you going to do?” she finally asked him as she heard the thunder begin any hopes of sunshine began to disappear.

He shrugged his arms and then spoke, “I honestly don’t know… I am happy because I am going to be a father yet I didn’t want Sharon to be the one to give me one. I don’t know how much Brian told you about Mattie and me… but Mattie is and always has been the one.” He sighed as he felt the first drop of rain hit his tattooed arm.

“Great it’s about to rain…maybe you should go find her. She borrowed a bike and began her journey down San Jacinto road… I know for sure that leads to the cemetery.” Leighanne said as she stood up and walked up to her door not wanting to get wet.

“Thanks,” Alex said as he too stood up and ran to his car as the drops began to fall more and more constant. He got in and sighed heavily as he turned on the ignition as he drove away from Leighanne’s and Brian’s house.
He sighed as he realized Mattie was fast on the bike. He sped a little faster and sure enough he spotted Brian’s bike just outside the gate of the Clewiston’s only cemetery. By now the rain had gotten steady and he knew he would get wet but he needed to talk to her. Let her know that this did nothing for the feelings he had for her and he was willing to work this out. He took a deep sigh and opened the door; he began to walk knowing where she was. He was already soaked and then he spotted her… his heart parted when he heard her sobs.

“Emmy you shouldn’t have left me… I am bad person. I didn’t deserve to get Evelyn… mom seems to think so and everyone else too. You were the only one to believe me,” she said out loud as she allowed her tears to run freely. The rain hit her and by now she was soaked but she didn’t care she continued to kneel in front of her sister’s grave.

Alex finally walked up to her and kneeled beside her he leaned in and kissed her cheek. “You’re going to get sick,” he told her as he wrapped an arm around her.

Mattie stared at him he was so nice and now he couldn’t be more to her than a friend. When did god decide he wanted to be so mean to her… it was like he was holding a big magnifying glass right at her the sun burning the hell out of her like a kid a bully does to an ant. She leaned into him inhaling deep, he was the one to give her ease and she was going to miss it. “What are you doing here?” she asked finally.

“I think we need to talk and I knew you would be here,” Alex said as he removed a wet hair strand from her cheek.

“I know we do…” she told him wiping her face. She gave him a weak smile and then she kissed him softly. She moaned when she felt Alex wrap his arms around her deepening the kiss… she didn’t stop till she needed to breathe, finally she pulled away looking straight in his eyes. As she did there it was the click in the pit of her stomach that told her she had been blind and in denial about her true feelings for the man in front of her for far to long.

“I spoke to Sharon…” he was cut off by Mattie who again was kissing him with urgency. He didn’t reject her and he kissed her back with just as much ardor.

She pulled away and stared at Alex and then turned to look at her sister’s grave. She sighed and then she looked back at him. “Let’s get out of here…” she told him standing up pulling him up with her. She intertwined her hand with his as they walked away she could see his SUV even if the rain was now coming down hard.

“I am glad I went for the leather seats.” Alex said as he unlocked his car both making a run to get inside. He turned the ignition and heater then on full blast as he pulled out. Nothing else was said they just drove in silence.


*****************

Finally Alex was parked at his house and he sighed… “We have to talk eventually.” He said as he turned off the ignition and stared toward his house.

“I know,” Mattie said as she opened the passenger’s door and ran to the porch; she could hear Alex right behind her she was already knocking on the door hoping Heather would open it.

“Heather is not here,” Alex said as he used his key to open the door. “I gave her a job at the bar and she is over there.”

“Oh that’s good…” Mattie said giving him a small smile. She removed her wet converse shoes leaving them on the porch as she walked into the house the hardwood floor cold to her feet.

“Mattie?” Alex asked as he followed her right into her room he stopped talking when he saw her undressing. He took a deep breath as he saw her… “I’m going to go put on some dry clothes too…” he said and was about to turn to leave when he felt Mattie’s body pushing him toward the door frame kissing him hard.

Mattie stared at him as she began to pull on his shirt bringing it up and over his head tossing it to the floor with her clothes. She gave him a smile as she began to fumble with his belt and then the button to his pants. “Make love to me…” she whispered to him as she kissed him again.

Alex only smiled as he took her mouth again and carried her toward her bed shutting the door with his foot. He knew they should talk first but at this moment he wasn’t thinking to clearly and Mattie was almost naked not helping the situation… “I love you…” he whispered to her as his lips began to explore her body.

********

Mattie looked at the clock on the nightstand it was eight in the night and she was still in bed with Alex right beside her. They still had to talk and she was going to be the bad one again because she was going to let him go. That’s why she had taken advantage of this moment to take this as the best memory of the man she would always love but not be able to have.

“Are you awake?” Alex asked as he kissed her shoulder. “Hungry?” he asked as he nibbled his way up her neck.

“Coffee sounds good right now,” Mattie said sitting up and climbing out of the bed. She grabbed Alex’s now dry shirt and her underwear as she tried to pick her hair up into a bun of some sort.

“Ok coffee it is,” Alex said as he walked out naked and vanished into his own room. Two minutes later he was back with a pair of boxers on.

They walked into his kitchen and he watched as she prepared the coffee. He lit a cigarette as he sat down watching her move around the kitchen. “I like that shirt on you,” he said smiling at her.

Mattie smiled at him as she finally poured coffee into two cups, “Crème?” she asked him.

“Yes,” he said as he watched her.

She went to sit by him and together drank coffee not saying a word… finally Mattie sighed. “I think it’s time we talk.”

“Ok,” Alex said turning to face her. “I should go first then…”

“No…” Mattie said shaking her head. “I think I should go first.” She looked at him one more time and smiled at him. She leaned into him and kissed him passionately and after she pulled away she cleared her throat. “I did a lot of thinking last night after I ran… I think that this is the best option for both us.” She took off the engagement ring and took his hand placing it gently in his hand closing his palm around it.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked confused.

“I am giving you back this ring… the wedding is off. Alex you have a child coming into this world and this child will need you to be there unconditionally. I can’t make nor do I want to make you push the child aside. Besides I saw the look on Sharon’s face… she loves you and now the best thing for you to do is to do the right and marry her.” she told him as she tried not to cry anymore.

Alex shook his head as he heard her… he sighed heavily and laughed bitterly. “I don’t intend to leave Sharon on her own on this… but I don’t love her. You can’t be doing this to me again… Mattie I have always loved you and after eleven years my heart is finally healing and now your telling me you can’t take me like this?” he looked at her hurt.

“Alex listen to yourself…” Mattie said as the first tears began to fall down her face.

“What about what just happened? You can’t deny that we don’t feel the same for each other.” Alex said as he took her hand in his and tried to put the engagement ring back on her finger.

“Alex no,” Mattie said not allowing him to. “I can’t deny and say I don’t love you or that I haven’t realized just how much you mean to me. But that simply isn’t enough for me to ruin you… I think its best I leave and try to concentrate on my niece’s case. You should try and work things out with Sharon… Alex this is a sign we don’t belong together. Maybe in another life but here we are stuck apart for sure, I will take this night in my memory forever.” Mattie leaned in and kissed his temple. “Good bye Alex.” she walked away leaving him there still trying to understand how his happiness was now sadness.


********

Two days ago she had ended everything with Alex yet again… it seemed that Alex was now just in the past. Heather had moved in with her into a hotel till they found a place.

Mattie sat on a table looking through the job section on the Clewiston Gazette. She smiled when she saw that an opening for an English teacher seemed available. It was perfect and what was better was the fact that it was her old school.

“I thought I had recognized you…” Nick said as he came up to Mattie who was busy looking through the paper.

“Nick,” Mattie said in a surprised tone as she stood up to greet him. She had not seen him since the talent show.

“So can I take a seat here with you?” he asked as he flashed his own cup of coffee. “You got to love the Cuban coffee.”

Mattie smiled, “Yeah sure…”

“so your looking for a job?” he asked as he peeked at the newspaper.

“Yeah…” she said biting her lip. “I was seeing that they need an English teacher for this next year at your school.” She said shyly.

“Oh yeah Mrs. Meadows our third grade English teacher finally retired!” Nick laughed a little… “Poor Mrs. Meadows…she finally gave up on the poor kids. She would always get pranked.”

“So they need a teacher for this coming school year?” Mattie asked as she heard him.

“Yep… interested? You a teacher?” Nick said eyeing curiously.

“Yes… well I went to school for this English literature and had to take courses you know. I was working as an assistant for my ex professor back in Wisconsin.” Mattie said proud of her accomplishment. “Do you think you can give me a hand with the principal? I really need this job…”

“Hmm… maybe but what’s in it for me?” Nick said smiling at her.

“A long lasting friendship and lunch on me?” Mattie said giving him a optimistic smile.

“I might be interested… Besides it just so happens that the Principal is my aunt I can definitely persuade.” He said grinning at her. “On one condition…”

“What is that?” Mattie asked as she looked at him. “You go surfing with me this next weekend. It will be fun and bring Evelyn along, my nephew will love her. I kind of take my only nephew out once he is a surfer like me…” he gave her his famous crooked smile.

“I’ve never surfed before and isn’t it dangerous for someone like Evelyn?” She asked him as she realized what he was asking.

“Relax I am professional surfer and I won’t let anything happen to you or Evelyn. So do we have a deal?” he asked.

“First get me the interview… tomorrow with your aunt and then maybe we will have a deal.” Mattie said crossing her arms giving him an impish smile.

“I got even a better one,” Nick said as he fumbled with his phone which only rang twice when a voice answered. “Aunt Jess,” Nick said smiling as he rolled his eyes to Mattie. “Guess what? I got you a very smart English teacher to replace Mrs. Meadows….”

******

August 6, 2010
Time: 3:00pm
Location: Clewiston High School Football field. (I snuck in… I can’t believe they still haven’t fixed that fence.)

I haven’t seen Alex since I left his house. I went straight to the holiday in and never looked back. I called Heather who gladly went and with the help of Brian and Leighanne got all my stuff out of there and into storage. I have managed to find a job thanks to Nick… Nick is my niece’s art teacher and a surfer apparently.

I got the job thanks to him and now I am stuck with plans to go surfing with him. I know what’s going on and I have to lay it him when I can get a chance. Right now men are not my priority… the only man I wanted prioritize is no more than a memory in my head. I know I made the right decision… he needs to dedicate himself to Sharon and his baby.

Heather wasn’t so happy with what went down between me and Alex. “So does that mean he’s available?” She asked the other night making me mad. She was only joking she said but still it hurt. She is going to continue to work with him at the bar and I guess that’s a good thing because when ever I want to know about how he is doing I know she will tell me.

I have also gone to look around at some apartments and they have been pretty nice. But I still have one more place to go before I choose it’s a town home in Bell Glade. Bell Glade is only another little town just fifteen minutes from Clewiston, it sounds like a good idea because it means I don’t have to bump or fear of bumping into Alex. That’s the last thing I want at this moment. I just need time that’s all and I still have some changes to make… for one I have quit smoking cold turkey… maybe that’s why I’ve been in a bitchy mood all day.

I can’t wait for the end of august to come… I will have buy suitable teacher attire because I just don’t think muscle shirts, skinny jeans, and all the stuff I have now is suitable. Thank god I have Leighanne to help me with that, we’ve become quite good friends and the best part is she doesn’t mention anything to me about him…

Well I have to go… I promised Evelyn I would endure dinner at mom’s for her sake. Well I didn’t tell her that part but I did smile and pretended to be excited about it. I haven’t told anyone in my family about my new job and I won’t because I am going to surprise them all when the next hearing comes along.

Mattie.

August 15, 2010
Time: 6:00pm
Location: Finally a home of my own… (I chose the town home in Bell Glade)
Emotion: bitter

I am bitter… yes I said bitter. Why does life seem to torture me? I was having a good day out in the beach with Nick and his nephew Ben. Such a cute little kid he is only a year older than Evelyn and man he’s pretty good at the surfing I am sure it’s because of Nick.

Any who the beach was awesome even if technically we are in hurricane season I should be happy we really haven’t had one. Everything was going well and I have to say that Mr. Carter is not so Mr. Good guy he has a couple of tattoos…just not so visible to the public.

I have to say did enjoy my day with him even if I did fall many times into the water… Once I almost lost my bikini bottom when I fell in to the water but thank god it only slipped down… imagine the embarrassment.

I ended up borrowing one of Brian’s car and well I am in the market for a car… well I was because it turns out that Howard my brother in law will be bringing me one from Miami that they don’t use anymore since James was born. My day went sour just a few minutes ago though. I was driving Evelyn back to my mother’s… I have to say though before I continue that you should know that Clewiston is not a major city it’s a small town with a few thousand people.

Having said that, Evelyn tells me she is in the mood for ice cream…so I drive to the only ice cream place I know… Zoe’s Ice cream land. I figure that I should probably enjoy some ice cream too since I can’t say I could just smoke. I still get cravings but I manage pretty well.

Evelyn ordered the bubblegum flavored ice cream what five year old wouldn’t? I had a more complex ice cream… strawberry cheese cake. I was sitting with Evelyn as she told me all about what she goes through at mom’s now that she is out of school and enjoying her small summer.

I was entranced on her conversation I didn’t notice who came in till I heard the voice. I froze with my spoon in mid air with ice cream ready to be devoured. I couldn’t look that way but when you have a five year old with you… well you end up in really bad situations.

Evelyn didn’t take long to recognize Alex…

[Flashback]

“Alex,” Evelyn jumped from her chair and ran toward him. “I haven’t seen you in forever!” she told him as she hugged his leg only making Alex pick her up.

“Hey Evelyn how you been?” Alex said smiling at the little girl who only hugged him again.

“Not so good… my aunt Mattie still can’t take me home with her and I am stuck with my grandma…” she pouted as she turned to look at the petite woman that stood beside him. “Who’s she?”

“I’m Sharon and who are you?” Sharon asked smiling at the little girl.

“I’m Evelyn Vanderbilt… I am five years old and I know magic tricks.” She smiled at her.

“Evelyn we have to go,” Mattie said as she nervously approached them. “Come on now you have get back to grandma’s.” she said as she pulled Evelyn away from Alex’s grip.

“Hey…” Alex said staring at her.

“Hi,” Mattie said not looking at him in the face… “I have to go…” she gave him a quick smile and took Evelyn away.”

“Wait Aunt Mattie…” Evelyn said pulling away and running back to hug him. “You have to take us on your boat again soon and take Cleo.”

“I will make plans,” Alex said giving her a smile as Sharon took his hand intertwining her hand with his. She looked a little annoyed.

“Hey Alex?” Evelyn said looking back at Sharon. “Is Sharon your new girlfriend? So you don’t like my aunt anymore? My aunt is much cooler and prettier.”

“EVELYN,” Mattie said as she went up to her niece again and cleared her throat. “That is not your business now come on…” she took her hand and began to walk.

[End of flashback]

It didn’t take long for me to see that Sharon was not very happy with Evelyn’s comment. I was smiling though because a kid always says the truth and well I have to admit Alex did not look so happy.

I gave Evelyn a very short and to the point explanation to her questions. I smiled when she crossed her arms and told me that Alex was missing out for changing me for Sharon. I laughed and kissed her forehead thinking about that fact was I was the one to be missing out on him… I had let him go. Thinking about it made me want to run and never come back… and that’s why I am bitter.

Mattie.

********

“Alex?” Sharon asked as she peeked into his room.

Alex put his old high school year book away and looked up to see Sharon in a very skimpy night shirt. “Yeah?” he cleared his throat.

“I can’t sleep… I am craving pancakes.” She bit her lip as she rubbed her still not so noticeable stomach.

“Ok,” Alex said stretching as he stood up walking out the door and into the kitchen. He went straight to work and began to mix the pancake batter.

“Are you going to ever look at me like you looked at Mattie earlier at the ice cream place?” Sharon asked as she took a seat on the stool.

Alex stopped what he was doing and looked at her… “Sharon… we talked about this when I called you and told you to move in with me. I don’t want to tell you that I never will because I am going to try hard to have things go back to when we were together.”

“What does Mattie have that I don’t?” she asked him not dropping the subject.

Alex gritted his teeth, “Sharon please… let’s drop the subject and get this batter on the pan.”

“I know that you are doing all this for your child and I am happy that you have chosen to do this Alex… but you have to understand me, I love you and I made a mistake in asking to go on a break… when I come back you have this girl that I never met living here with you. It makes me mad because she hasn’t even been here long and you are fucking in love with her! I want to know what she has that made her so special to you… it took me almost a year for you to even consider me your girlfriend and then two years for you to ask me to marry you… then I freak out a little and ask for a little time to think it through and you take that as you can date again. I want to know…” she said a little mad.

Alex slammed the bowl he carried back on the counter making a frustrated sigh, “Sharon let it go! I am going to try here ok?”

“NO! I will leave right now! Just tell me…” she told him now tears of anger coming down her face.

“Sharon…” Alex said his voice softening as he saw the look on her face. “Calm down Sharon you need to be relaxed not only for you but for the baby.” He began to pour the batter into the pan. “Mattie was my first girlfriend… official girlfriend. We were high school sweethearts I guess you can say, then after her graduation she broke up with me and left without ever turning back. She came back recently because one of her sisters passed away and well I have always been good friends with the Benson’s so I was the funeral… we saw each other and well things happened and my feelings for came back.” Alex said not saying anything else as he flipped his first pancake.

Sharon smiled bitterly as she heard him. “It makes sense… but she broke your heart and you still took her back now?”

Alex shrugged not wanting to explain anymore to her… “Sharon I am not going to speak about further so drop it… you wanted to know I told you the essential part but like I promised you I am going try hard to be here for you and the baby.”

Sharon smiled as he heard his determination; she walked up to him and made him turn to look at her. “I am going to make you forget her… you are going to love me again.” Sharon said crashing her lips on his.

******

“Wow you look great… you are going to be one good teacher,” Leighanne said as she watched Mattie try on suit after suit she had bought for her new job.

“I hope all this I am doing gets me my main goal,” Mattie said.

“It will work you love Evelyn too...” Leighanne said smiling at her. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Yeah shoot,” Mattie said as she took a seat on a couch.

“Well I wasn’t planning on having bridesmaids at my wedding but I would love to have you be sort of like my maid of honor? I mean you will be basically it but it would be nice. You are the first girl I don’t hate that Alex has dated.” She stopped talking when she realized she was talking about him.

“I would love to if it makes your day better that day.” Mattie said hugging her.

“I really like this townhouse,” Leighanne said as she looked around.

******

“Coming!” yelled Heather as she opened the door only to gawk at who stood there.

“Is Mattie available?” Nicked asked as he smiled at the girl in front of him.

“Who is it?” Mattie asked coming up behind her…

“Me,” Nick said smiling at her.

“Oh hi Nick… how did you find out where I lived?” Mattie asked as Heather cleared her throat. “Oh right Nick meet my roommate Heather Harris.”

“Nice to meet you,” Nick said as he extended his hand to her.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Heather said glaring at Mattie. “I have to head out to work, but yeah come in.”

“Oh right yeah…” Mattie said.

She watched as Heather left to go to work. “So again how did you find me?”

“Well you know once you got hired any teacher can look at your file.

“I little bit,” she said as she eyed him. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No I am good I just wanted to see you would want to make plans for later or tomorrow.”

Mattie smiled and then sighed, “Nick I think we should talk.”

“About what?” Nick asked as he smiled at Mattie.

“I am not looking for any type of romantic relationship right now. I have to much going on with my niece’s case to think about boyfriends. So how about friends?” Mattie said extending her hand.

“I’ll take what I can get… but I have to say this… I am aiming for her though.” He gave her a grin when he saw the look she made.

Before Mattie knew it was October and she was liking being called Ms. Benson, by now her mother knew she was working at the school Evelyn attended she was now a first grader.

Nick had become a really good friend and maybe just maybe she could settle for him… but there was a problem with that… Heather. Heather was very much smitten for Nick and besides Nick was two years her junior. That also made her always stop him from his attempts of trying to kiss her.

She had tried to get Nick to notice Heather but still all he did was acknowledge her when he went over to her house. Now she was preparing for Brian’s wedding to Leighanne. She was going to be the maid of honor….

“I can’t believe I am wearing this for you…” Mattie said as she looked at herself on the full length mirror.

“I think red looks great on you…” Leighanne said excitedly as she showed of her dress. “Can you believe that in exactly twenty four hours I will be married?”

“Yeah I can and you deserve it… you have been an awesome friend to me.” Mattie said as she hugged her.

“So do you still want an extra seat?” Leighanne asked.

“Yes please…” Mattie said as she came out of the dressing in her tank and jeans.

*******

October 16, 2010
Time: 9:15am
Location: The Plaza Inn… (Ballroom)
Emotion: romantic

I am here about to stand by Leighanne as she says I do to Brian. She is a nervous wreck but she asked me to check on the venue make sure everything is done. I am just in awe of the place it it gorgeous… Everything is ready for the wedding.

I still haven’t seen the groom and I am also nervous because I did not think about who would be Brian’s best man. I am more than a hundred percent sure it will be Alex. I haven’t seen him since the ice cream shop incident.

I have to admit I can’t wait to see him though. I can’t move on and sometimes I regret leaving him but I can only come to assume he has moved on. Maybe he hates me enough this time around. Evelyn is excited too because Leighanne asked her to be there flower girl.

Well I have to go back and get dressed. I hope everything goes smooth.

Mattie

******

“So this is nice you look very nice,” Nick told Mattie as they watched the happy couple dance there song. He smiled as people cut in to dance with the bride and groom. “Shall we go bud in?”

Mattie giggled and then nodded… “Yeah lets go…” she thanked Nick as he helped her from her chair and they walked to the center of the dance floor. “May I?” she asked the lady that danced with Brian.

“Hey you look nice,” Brian said hugging her he raised his brow when he saw Nick dancing with his wife. “Who’s the hunk?” he wiggled his brows.

Mattie laughed and playfully hit him on the arm… “Just a friend from work. Any who congratulations Brian you are a lucky man.”

“I know… hey listen thank you for enduring this for Leighanne. I know it must have been hard seeing Alex here with Sharon.” He gave her a sympathetic smile.

Mattie cleared her throat and smiled, “I’m fine we both are grown adults…” she winked at Brian just before she saw Sharon from her peripheral view standing right beside her and Brian. She smiled at her as her eyes went to her now noticeable bump.

“May I?” she asked rolling her eyes at Mattie who kissed Brian’s cheek and walked away stopping when Nick’s hand took a hold of her hand.

“Wait for me…” Nick said giving her a grin.

*******

“You look nice,” Leighanne told Alex who seemed to only be interested in who was with Mattie. “How are you?”

“Sorry,” Alex said smiling at her weakly. “This day is all about you… I just hadn’t seen her in a while.”

“It’s ok I understand… how’s the pregnancy going?” Leighanne asked as they danced.

“It’s very crazy one day she craves one thing, the next something totally different. It’s the ride of my life,” Alex said.

“Do you know what it will be?”

“A boy…” Alex said for once showing a genuine smile since this whole ordeal.

“Awe congratulations!” Leighanne said excited.

*******

“I’m ready to go,” Sharon told Alex as she leaned in resting her head on his shoulder.

“Sharon it’s not even nine,” Alex said frustrated.

“Well then Brian shouldn’t have invited her!” Sharon said as she looked toward the dance floor where Mattie danced away with Evelyn and some guy.

“She is their friend too… You know what here go home.” Alex said taking his cars keys and handing them to her. “I am staying here till this is over he is my best friend.” He stood up and walked away leaving her there. He needed a smoke so bad he walked out of the party into the garden.

“You ok?” Brian asked startling him.

“Yeah… no.” Alex said as he lit a cigarette. “Sharon wants to go already.”

“Hey if you have to go I will understand.” Brian said as she stood beside him.

“No she needs to learn and trust me… she is just mad cause Mattie is here.” Alex said as he exhaled the smoke.

“Well if you decide to go I am ok with it… thanks for being my best man.” Brian said patting his shoulder.

“It was my pleasure… so who’s the guy she’s with?” he asked not caring about the face Brian made at his question.

“Nick Carter her friend and coworker.” Brian said shrugging. “She asked for an extra seat at the last minute and then she showed up with him.”

“She’s moving on…” Alex said as he tossed the cigarette butt. “Do you think she loves him?”

“How should I know? Aren’t you going to marry Sharon anyway?”

Alex only made a face at that comment and shrugged. “She is driving me crazy Brian… she calls me every second and wants to know where I am at. She always tries to you know sneak into my room… I don’t know how much more I can handle.She is trying to seduce me in many ways but I just can't... I know I said I'd try...but I just can't.”

“Maybe you need to try harder…” Brian said as they both walked back in to find the seat that Sharon sat on was empty her purse also gone.

“She left,” Alex said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Baby let’s dance this one,” Leighanne said as she came up them. “I love this song… and its slow.” She raised her eyebrows at Brian.

“Ok,” Brian said giving Alex his friend a weak smile. “Just enjoy this she’s gone anyway.”

Alex only smiled at his comment that’s when he spotted Heather sitting at the table with Evelyn. He looked toward the dance floor and there was Mattie dancing with that Nick guy. “Hey,” he said as he hugged Heather and then caught Evelyn who jumped at him.

“Hi Alex do you want to dance with me?” Evelyn asked as she began to pull him toward the dance floor.

“Ok…” he said laughing as he waved to Heather who was laughing.

******

Mattie smiled as she saw Evelyn fast asleep on Alex’s shoulder as the song finished. She must have been tired since she was up pretty late the day before for the wedding rehearsal.

“Want to dance this next song?” Nick asked bringing Mattie back from wherever she was.

“No… I have to get Evelyn I am sure Heather would love to though.” Mattie said leaving him there as she walked up to Alex. “Hey,” she smiled at him and looked at Evelyn. “Need help?”

“No I am good…” Alex said as he smiled at Mattie.

“She’s pretty tired,” Mattie said as she walked with him back to her table. She smiled when she saw Heather and Nick dancing. “I’ll take her now…”

“Are you leaving already?” he asked her.

“I’m just going to take her home to moms,” Mattie said as she grabbed her keys.

“I’ll help you take her to the car.” Alex said as he rubbed Evelyn’s back.

“Ok let me just tell Heather and Nick,” Mattie said as she walked into the crowd. Two minutes later she was back and they both walked out into the parking lot.

“Nice car,” Alex said when he saw the beetle. He smiled as she rolled her eyes.

“Well Anna Lee doesn’t use it anymore since she has her son so they gave me a good deal on it.” Mattie said as she opened the passenger door and allowed him to put Evelyn in the back seat.

“There,” Alex said as he stood back up and stared at her. “You look nice… the red dress is just so beautiful on you.”

“Thanks,” Mattie said blushing as she heard him. “You don’t look bad yourself. I should get going… so I can come back.”

“Yeah…” Alex said as he watched her get in the driver’s side. He hesitated a minute but then he hopped in. “Do you mind? I just need to think…”

Mattie smiled nervously and began to drive… “I don’t think this is a good idea.” She finally said as she turned on a light.

“Why not? Are you afraid of me?” he asked giving her a grin. He could not help but grin and flirt with her.

Mattie laughed and then she became serious… “I’m not scared of you…I am afraid what people will think.”

“Fuck whatever anyone says…” Alex said as he saw the house come into sight.

“Wait here,” Mattie said as she parked the car and carefully carried a sleeping Evelyn inside.

Alex waited patiently and ten minutes later came out Mattie. “Everything ok?” he asked as she turned the car on and began to back away.

“Well not really but I am not here for them so fuck them…. Didn’t you just suggest that to me?” Mattie said arching her eyebrow at him.

Alex smiled and laughed… “Yes I did. Where are we heading to now?”

“To the wedding hellooo?” Mattie said making him a silly face.

“Wait can you just make a quick stop at the bar?” Alex asked as he saw that it was close by.

“For what?” Mattie said as she made an unexpected u turn to go back to the bar.

“It’s a surprise…” Alex said as he smiled at her.

“You didn’t take Brian and Leighanne there present yet?” Mattie asked as she neared the closed bar only for today.

Alex only shrugged and took out the keys to bar as she parked in the empty parking lot. “I’ll be right back,” he said as he got out and walked toward the bar.

Mattie sighed and waited patiently for Alex to come out but after ten minutes she just had enough waiting and she had to hurry him up. She cursed as she almost lost her balance with a hole on the pavement as she walked toward the bar. The door was open so she walked through the open door… all the lights were off except for the office light. “Alex?”

“Alex? Seriously where the hell are you?” she asked as she began to walk toward the office. She could feel that she was being watched and couldn’t help but turn around to check and screamed when she saw Alex right behind her. “Shit! Alex…” she was about to say something more but her mouth got busy with Alex’s.

Alex kissed her passionately and he couldn’t stop. “Shh…” he whispered to her as he began to kiss her neck. His plan had worked he had lied about getting something but her knew she would soon come to check on him since he was taking long.

“Alex what are you doing?” Mattie asked in haggard breaths. She wanted to stop him but she couldn’t and before she knew what was happening he was carrying her toward the office her dress already unzipped and was quickly tossed on the floor.

“I love you… I can’t and haven’t been able to be with Sharon. I loathe her and the only thing keeping there by her side is my son. I can take care of her and still be with you…” he said as he caressed her body. “Please… I need you.” he whispered as he took her mouth.

Mattie knew this was wrong but it felt so right and for that moment she was going to enjoy it.

*******

Mattie kissed Alex one more time as she fixed her hair. “I need more lip gloss.” She said as she looked at herself on the mirror. She had just parked back at the hotel where the wedding was taking place.

“You look fine,” Alex said as he kissed her shoulder. “I can’t live without you.”

“Alex…” Mattie said eyeing him. “I can’t deny that I need you too… but both of us right now can’t be doing this. Remember you promised…”

“I won’t see you as my mistress Mattie. Because I am not with Sharon like that, but if you want to continue to see each other in secret I promised I would do it.” Alex said a little wary.

“Alex its best that we do because I know Sharon will take your son away if not and I might loose Evelyn.” She kissed his cheek, “Lets get back inside… maybe you should go in first. I’ll wait a few minutes before I go in.”

“Fine,” Alex sighed kissing her one more time. “I love you.”

*******

Mattie walked in and quickly spotted Nick and Heather. “Hey sorry I took long but Evelyn didn’t want to let me go.” she lied as Heather gave her a look.

“Well no worries we’ve been dancing like crazy!” Heather said as she looked at Mattie and then she looked over at Alex who kept looking toward them.

“That’s good… so have they cut the cake?” Mattie asked as she again messed with her hair.

“Yep I’ll get you a piece,” Nick said as he patted her shoulder. “You look flushed you ok?”

“Yeah… I am fine.” Mattie said smiling nervously. “It’s just a little humid and hot…”

“Ok I’ll be right back,” Nick said as he walked away.

Mattie looked toward Alex who was looking at her. She smiled at him and he grinned back. What had she gotten herself into?

November 3, 2010
Time: 4:00pm
Location: Lake Okeechobee dock… (SS Matilda)
Emotion: worried

I should hate myself for what I am doing. But yet I don’t regret any bit of it, I have been seeing Alex in secret since Brian’s wedding. I know its bad because well Sharon doesn’t deserve this. As I wait here for him to get here… I think about how I would feel if I was put in Sharon's shoes. Wait no because I would not threat the father of my child to stay with me if he didn’t love me anymore.

I am also worried about my court day on the 12th. I know now with my new job and a place of my own I have a better chance to win. I just am worried that after this I will loose my family forever. I am afraid of the way I will be treated now, not that it matters since I still get treated like shit now. I just want it to go back to the way it used to before dad or Emmy left.

I just never thought about how my family saw me for my decisions. Now that I know it hurts so much to know it… to know that to most of my family I am just a joke. I am some liberal hippie sleeping with many men… something that is not true. I may have dated quite a few people but that doesn’t mean I was sleeping with them all. I am just saddened by all this.

I shouldn’t be so worried because I know I am winning Evelyn… the way Emmy wanted. I am scared though I can admit that… I hate not knowing how I am going to deal with actually having Evelyn with me all the time. I mean I love Evelyn and all but she does remind me a lot of Emmy. Of one thing I am sure though… I will make sure she becomes a well brought young lady. Just like her mother. Crap, I just heard someone Alex is here… I’ll write to you later.

Mattie.

*********

Mattie put her journal in her bag and stood up stretching. “Hi,” she said as she saw Alex walking in with a bag of food.

“Hi,” Alex said dropping the bag on a chair and going to hug her. He took her lips with his.

“How’s work?” Mattie asked as she pulled away resting her head on his chest. His arms still wrapped around her made her feel at ease.

“It was ok…I think Heather knows more than she leads on.” Alex said smiling as he kissed her temple. “She told me when I told I was going to go out for an hour…to say hi to you.”

Mattie only laughed and rolled her eyes, “Yeah she keeps telling me that she knows what I am doing… she is just trying to find out we just have to keep ignoring her.” She said kissing him on the lips.

Alex kissed her back and soon he began to back her up till she realized she was falling on the bed. She smiled as Alex removed his shirt showing of his well toned torso. She felt his hands as they began to unbutton her shirt… “Aren’t we going to eat?” she asked not really caring if they didn’t.

“Are you hungry?” Alex asked as he began to kiss trail up her stomach toward her neck.

“Not… really,” Muttered Mattie as she pulled his face up to hers, kissing him passionately. She didn’t understand why but she just couldn’t stop from feeling like she did for Alex, she knew that this hiding was not good.

Things were getting pretty steamy when both his and her phone began to ring. Alex muttered, “Just ignore it…” as his hands made way up her skirt.

“Alex we should answer that…” she whispered smiling a little at his frustration as he got up and dug into his pants taking out his phone. Mattie then went to her purse smiling when she saw the caller ID. “Hey Nick,” she answered as she began to button her shirt back up. She cringed when she saw the angry look on Alex who had ignored his call.

Alex waited patiently well not really for Mattie to finish her conversation; he was no longer in the mood to continue what they had going on earlier. So his shirt was back on and he now was taking out the food from the bag. Finally he sighed as he turned to look at Mattie that was now putting her phone back into her purse. “I got you a burger with mustard,” Alex said as he ate a fry.

“Thank you,” Mattie said taking a seat beside him going to kiss him only to have him move making her kiss his cheek. “You ok?” she asked him as she made him turn to look at her.

Alex shrugged, “No I hate that Nick guy. I know you said he’s only your friend but he spends all the fucking time with you. Its like he still wants to see you after work…” he said with gritted teeth.

“Alex,” Mattie said carefully standing up and sitting on his lap. “I don’t like Nick like that and he knows it. I count the fucking time for us to meet again and I wish we didn’t have to hide like this. But think about it babe, if I keep letting people see us together they won’t suspect about us… minus Heather of course. I actually am working on hooking him up with Heather…” she sighed softly as she kissed his cheek again and then she giggled when he crushed his mouth on hers.

“I still get fucking jealous… I want this to be over already. I want to be with you.” he said staring at her.

“Alex you told me yourself what Sharon told you… just wait till the baby is born and I have Evelyn’s custody then I promise we can flaunt around just how much we care for each other.”

“This is so stupid Mattie I don’t have to pretend to be with Sharon; I still have rights to my son.”

“I know but I’ve seen how possessive she gets and I fear that your son will not get to meet such a great dad that you are going to be to him. Then there is my situation…” She told him as she leaned in her forehead connecting to his. “Time,” she told him.

“So… I have nothing to worry about then with that Nick guy?” he asked as he began to unbutton her shirt again.

“Well…. He is cute and those blue eyes are just…” Mattie began to laugh when Alex stopped was he was doing and was looking at her agitated. “But the problem there is… I am crazy, I mean head over heels over a brown eyed hunk with the perfect body.” She gave him a smile as he gave her a small smirk. “I love you and I am not afraid to say it to you anymore.”

********

“You are up late,” Alex told Sharon as he walked into his house. “I’m going to bed.”

“Why have you been ignoring my calls?” Sharon asked as she crossed her arms. “I could have gone into labor for all you care!” she yelled as she followed him to his room.

“Your six months pregnant, according to the doctor you are perfectly fine and will be able to delivery naturally…” Alex said agitated. He walked into his room shutting the door only to have Sharon open it and walk in. “Please I’m changing!” Alex said as he removed his shirt to put on a clean one for bed.

“I give up! I don’t know what to do anymore!” Sharon said as she began to cry tears streaming down her face freely.

“Sharon please, stop your antics. I am tired and I really don’t want to argue right now.” Alex said frustrated as he watched Sharon take a seat on the bed her night gown rising up her thigh.


“Antics? Alex I have tried to win your heart and instead you have become distant all you do is make sure my pregnancy is going well. You haven’t even kissed me since that night that we talked. Is it because I am ugly and fat!” she asked as she looked at her round belly.

Alex began to laugh and then shook his head. “I think you look very pretty pregnant. Your glowing Sharon but I’ve come to realize that… I can’t I just can’t pretend to make love to you and pretend to want to be more to you than what I am; that’s just not me…” Alex said sighed with relief after he said it.

“I hate you!” Sharon said grabbing one of the pillows and throwing it to him. “I am freaking horny and going crazy with all these things happening to my body, yet you can’t seem to care!”

“Sharon, relax,” Alex said catching the pillow and tossing it back to his bed. “Sharon you are one hot woman and at one point you drove me crazy… well you still do but not in that sense. I know you deserve to be happy and am I really making you happy?” he asked as he wiped the tears coming down her face.

“Not right now but you could,” Sharon whispered as she leaned her face on his hand kissing it. “I would do whatever to make you understand that I want us to work.” She continued as she took his other hand placing it on her stomach. “I think we scared him with the screaming.”

“Wow he’s moving in there,” Alex said place both his hands on her stomach. “Hey there buddy…its ok mommy and daddy are not going to argue again.” He said as he rubbed her belly.

“I want to name him Alex like the dad.” Sharon said as she placed her hands on top of Alex’s that continued to rub her belly. “Alex McLean Jr.”

“I was thinking more of Landon,” Alex said for the first time looking up and straight into Sharon’s blue eyes. “Alex is too common,” he said smiling at her.

“Landon Alexander,” Sharon said leaning in to him and without warning kissed him with passion… it was more like duress.

“Sharon,” Alex said trying to stop her but she was just to out if to listen. Before he knew it she was just in her underwear straddling him and kissing him softly on his neck and she knew what he liked…

*******

“So Heather is working?” Nick asked as he took the glass of lemonade from Mattie’s hand.

“Yeah… so what are you doing here? I thought you said you would see me at school Monday.”

“Yeah well I had nothing else to do and while I was sitting at home shooting some hoops I realized something,” Nick said eyeing her mischievously.

“Yeah what is that? That you brain is fried from all the surfing in the sun?” Mattie asked laughing.

“NO…that’s a given.” Nick said playing along. He stared at her as he placed his glass on the center table and neared her. “I’ve realized that I am settling to being just your friend…” he arched his eyebrow. “I don’t settle I conquer.”

“I don’t understand,” Mattie said a lump forming in her throat and suddenly feeling the urge to move but wasn’t able too.

“No I think you do… Mattie I am crazy about you. I mean since the first time I saw you and all these things that Evelyn told me about you. I just don’t think I can settle in being your friend only.” He leaned into her face he could feel her warmth breath just inches away from his. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a very long time and every time I’ve come close something interrupts but today nothing will…” he said as he closed the small space crashing his lips on hers.

Mattie eyes widened as she felt Nick’s lips… they were tempting but she couldn’t do it she kept seeing Alex’s face and she knew better. “No stop Nick,” Mattie said pushing him away and standing up breathing hard.

“Why? I want to you don’t?” he asked as he walked up to her only to be stopped by her hand on his chest.

“No… Nick.” She paused trying to find the words. “I – my heart already has an owner. I can’t deny and say your not hot because well you are but… I am in love with someone else.”

Nick bit his lip in frustration as he looked around trying to not get mad at the rejection. “Is it that guy… Brian’s best man?” he asked knowing well that it was him.

“How did you?” Mattie couldn’t even ask the question.

“How do I know?” Nick said sarcastically. “You can tell but I also saw him with his pregnant wife. You have to move on it’s apparent he has.” Nick said with a small hope.

Mattie smiled bitterly and then sighed, “Not his wife… it’s a long story.” Mattie said taking a seat again prepared to tell Nick everything.

******

“Well think of this way baby,” Alex said as he reread the letter from the courthouse. “I’ll be able to be there then because Landon will be born by then.”

“Landon,” Mattie repeated the name. “I just can’t believe they postponed my hearing till March! That means I have to continue to have joint custody with mother till then.”

“Awe babe you’ll be fine and time will go by fast I promise.” He said as he leaned in to kiss her.

Mattie kissed him back and soon forgot all about the horrible letter as she began to feel his touch. “Don’t you have to go soon to that appointment with Sharon?” she asked as she pulled away to smile at Alex’s pout.

“Yeah…” he stood up and pulled her with him. “I will see you tomorrow? Same time?”

“Yes,” she said giving him a devious smile.

********

“Mattie?”

“Yes,” Mattie said as she answered her phone.

“It’s Sam,” her brother said in a worried tone.

“I know who you are Sam… I know you voice. What’s wrong?” Mattie asked as she realized Sam would not call just to say hello.

“Fuck, Listen it’s Evelyn she fell of the roof and we are in the emergency room with her. She was not breathing…” Sam said holding himself from freaking out.

“What do you mean she fell off the roof?” Mattie said as she put her car in reverse and then making a U turn as she exited the parking lot to Lake Okeechobee’s marina. “Just I’m on my way…” Mattie let out a sob and quickly she dialed Alex’s number.

The phone rang but was sent straight to voicemail. “Fuck!” she yelled as she began to dial again and she began to cry. “Nick?” she asked as he answered.

“Yeah what’s wrong Mattie?”

“It’s Evelyn she’s in the hospital…” She managed to say before she began to cry even harder.

“I’ll meet you there…just calm down Mattie.” Nick said as he heard her continuous sobs.
Mattie hung up and drove as fast as she could she sighed when she saw Clewiston General Hospital ahead. She didn’t care where she parked she just parked and ran to the hospital. “How is she?” Mattie asked as she saw her family all quietly standing around in the waiting room.

“They are treating her they won’t anyone back there,” Ricky said angrily as he hugged his mother.

Mattie sighed and wiped her eyes, “How did this happen?” Mattie asked to no one in particular.

“She was playing with Josie’s kids and she slipped…” Sam said from where he sat.

“What the hell were they doing playing on the roof?” Mattie asked as she gave a glare to Josie who was quietly sitting down.

“I don’t know Mattie kids do that they like to play with fire!” Josie said defensively.

“That’s why we have discipline Josie…” Mattie said as she slid down the wall onto the floor. “I can’t believe this…. if something happens to her you all are responsible! I will make sure that you all…” she stopped talking when she heard Nick’s voice.

“Mattie?” Nick said stopping right in front of her. “How is she?”

“I don’t know yet,” Mattie said looking up at him. “You want me to ask?”

“Uh, hello what are we? We are waiting on the doctor to come back… she is in the OR.” Ricky said defensively. “See you were right Ma she has a new boyfriend…”

Mattie glared at Ricky and without warning she was up and right in front of his face, “Fuck you! he’s not my boyfriend and if he was so what? Are you jealous I actually can get a boyfriend without sweating? Poor you only having momma to go to after every rejection.” She punched him right in the jaw. “You don’t have a right to judge me!”

“You little,” Ricky said as his hand went to his jaw. He went forward to grab Mattie but before he could Nick was in the middle looking at him seriously.

“No man you don’t hit women,” Nick said as he took Mattie’s arm and began to walk away. “You ok? Is your arm hurting?”

“I’m fine… sorry about that my brother is just such a jerk.” Mattie said as they walked down another hall.

“Hey it’s fine…. I know what you’re going through and I know that was one hell of a punch.” Nick said giving her a little smirk.

Mattie laughed a little and hugged Nick. “Thanks for coming you have no idea how happy I am you’re here.” She kissed his cheek and continued to hug him.

“Hey I told you I would be here for you waiting for you to realize that I am the one for you.” Nick said as he hugged her closing his eyes as he inhaled the smell of her shampoo.

“Mattie?” Alex said as he recognized her. Sharon was by his side taking his arm in hers when she realized who was there.

Mattie stopped hugging Nick and wiped her eyes clearing her throat, “Yeah,” she said giving him a little smile.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked trying to not show just how pissed he was that Nick was hugging his girlfriend.

“It’s Evelyn she had an accident and now she is in the OR and I don’t know anything else…” She said as she began to cry.

Nick was having a staring contest with Alex as he reached and wrapped his arm around her. “Let’s go see if we can find out more,” Nick said as he continued to eye Alex.

“Well… she is a pretty active child and probably pretty spoiled.” Sharon said as she glared at Mattie.

“Sharon…” Alex said tearing his eyes off Nick to give Sharon a look. “She will be fine b…” he stopped himself from saying baby and cleared his throat. “Evelyn is a strong little girl.”

“I hope so…” Mattie said ignoring the look from Sharon. “I think I should go check maybe they know something by now.” She looked up at Nick who only nodded.

Mattie walked away but not before giving Alex a look that told him she needed him. “Come on let’s get you home…” Alex told Sharon. He would come back as soon as he dropped Sharon home.

********

“Evelyn?” Mattie said as she walked into the room where she lay.

“Aunt Mattie,” Evelyn said giving her a weak smile.

“Oh sweets look at you? You’re such a brave little girl.” Mattie said as she kissed her forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“A little dizzy but I am fine…except for this and the stitches on my head.”

“I see you got a purple cast… you favorite color.” Mattie said as she took a seat beside her. “You’re going to go stay with me after you get out from here…”

“Really?” Evelyn asked a small smile forming on her face.

“Yep,” Mattie said trying not to cry. “I won’t have it any other way.”

“Hey Mattie,” Sam said walking in. “You have company.”

“Who?” Mattie asked remembering that only Nick was there.

“Some guy named Brian and his wife and Alex.” Sam said as he approached the bed smiling at his niece. “Hey Evs how are you feeling? Grandma wants to see you…”

“OH,” Mattie cleared her throat. “Hey Evelyn I am going to go see them real quick and see if they want to come and say hello. Why don’t you see grandma for now?”

“Ok,” Evelyn said. “Just make sure they do come in here and see me ok?”

“Ok I will.” Mattie said smiling at her before she walked out to bump into Nick. “Oh hey.”

“How is she?” Nick asked as he wiped away the tear that fell down her face.

“She is Evelyn… she is happy about staying with me.” Mattie said as she began to walk toward the waiting room. She didn’t even acknowledge her family that walked by her to get to Evelyn’s room. She smiled a little when she saw her friend even Heather standing there.

“Mattie,” Heather said running up to her hugging her. “Are you ok? How’s Evelyn when Alex called the bar and told me I had to get here pronto.”

Mattie hugged Heather back she was the only part of her old life she had. “She will be fine just has a broken arm and nineteen stitches with a bad concussion.”

Brian cleared his throat and he approached her giving her a small smile. “Everything will be fine sweetheart we’ve been praying for her… right baby?” he asked Leighanne who approached her too. She looked like she had been crying too.

“Yes,” Leighanne said hugging Mattie.

“Mattie you should eat something,” Nick said from behind her.

“I’m not hungry Nick, but I bet you are its nine in the morning. You should go eat something and go home. You need to rest you’ve stayed here with me last night.” Mattie said as she patted Nicks shoulder.

“I’m not that tired, it’s Saturday anyway it’s not like I have to go to work. I’ll just go get a coffee from the cafeteria. Want one? Anyone?” he asked in politeness as he glared at Alex who was still just standing there in silence.

“No thank you,” Leighanne and Brian said.

“I’ll go with you,” Heather said as she began to walk.

“Ok,” Nick said as he looked at Mattie. “I’ll be right back ok?”

Mattie nodded and sighed as she saw them walk away. “Thanks for coming Evelyn wants to see you all.”

“Oh well we can’t wait to see her.” Leighanne said as she looked at Alex. “Bri why don’t we go get Evelyn a teddy bear or something from that little store we came across earlier?”

“Ok,” Brian said getting the hint.

Mattie sighed as she saw them walk away and then she was startled when she felt Alex’s arms wrap around her. She began to cry again and hugged him back. She breathed in his scent as she cried.

“Everything will be fine baby,” Alex whispered into her ear. “I know it will…”

“I need a cigarette,” She mumbled and smiled as she heard him chuckle.

“Come on,” Alex said pulling her to the nearest exit.

Mattie shut her eyes as the sun hit her face but she allowed Alex to pull her finally they found a secluded place and she smiled as Alex lit a cigarette for her. “Enjoy.”

Mattie took the cigarette smiling as her lungs were hit with the nicotine. God she hated not being able to have one of these… but today she just had to have one. “God I am in heaven,” She said as she exhaled.

Alex only smiled at her and watched her finish her smoke. “So you’re back to square one… trying to quit again.”

“I will I just needed one today…” She told him as she stomped on the cigarette butt on the pavement. She turned and smiled at him, “I need you so much right now and to think we can’t be together like we want too.”

“We can…” Alex was beginning to say when Mattie’s lips crashed into his.

Mattie smiled as she saw Alex’s reaction to her kiss. He was still breathing slowly and his eyes were closed his mouth partly opened… “We can not yet, I am glad you’re here though.” She told him.

Alex opened his eyes and sighed heavily. “I love you.”

“I do to,” Mattie said as she began to walk. “We should head back in.”

Alex followed her in silence… as soon as they walked in they saw Nick and Heather were back with coffee. “I hate him,” he whispered to himself as he saw Nick give Mattie a coffee and tended to her attentively.

“Thanks,” Mattie said as she took a drink. “I really think you should go home and rest…”

“I’m fine Mattie,” Nick said giving her a smile as he put a strand of her hair behind her ear. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw the look on Alex’s face. “I am here for you.”

“Mattie,” Alex said clearing his throat as he gave Nick the glare of death. “Do you think I could see Evelyn? I kind of have to be back to take Sharon to another appointment at her clinic though.”

“Uhm,” Mattie cleared her throat and looked at Alex. “Yeah let me just check if my family can get out so you can see her.” Mattie said as she walked away.

It hadn't taken Mattie more than five minutes when she came back to Heather hold onto Nick and Brian holding Alex. “Ok what have I missed?” She asked a little confused.

“Nothing,” Nick said pulling away from Heather’s grip. “I just hurt someone’s ego a little.”

“My ego?” Alex said still glaring at him. “Please… I am not the one trying to take something that does not belong to you!”

Nick glared at him and then he smirked, “Feeling threatened? If you’re so sure about what you have are you suddenly scared.”

Mattie closed her eyes in frustration as she realized what was going on. “For fucks sakes… we’re in a hospital for one and two… Nick and I are nothing he knows this.” she glared at Nick then glared at Alex. “Three… you should know that don’t you trust me?”

“Yes… it’s him I don’t trust.” Alex said looking at Mattie. He couldn't because guilt swept over him as he remembered what had happened with Sharon... It had been a moment of weakness but still it had happened and now he didn't know what to think. He didn't want to think Mattie would be like him but yet he still felt jealous. He knew he still had to tell Mattie about that night.

“Fine you know what? Go both of you go… I don’t want to you see you or him in a very long time!” Mattie said angry and walked away.

******

November 25, 2010
Time: 11:00pm
Location: my room
Emotion: forlorn

I have kept my word I have not spoken to Alex or Nick. Well technically to Nick I have but it has all been work related. Ok maybe I did speak to him once when he came by a few days ago.

He apologized and I almost forgave him till he vent out his true feelings for my acts. He thinks I am being dragged down a dirty path and for some absurd reason he believes Alex is just using me. BULLSHIT, that’s how he described it. What he doesn’t understand is that I love Alex and Alex loves me… we just had to sort of be apart for now. Alex needs to be there for his son who is due in a few months and I well I was going to get custody of my niece Evelyn but for now I have to agree to joint custody. I forgot to mention that I guess that my court day for this month got moved till March!

I do have my lawyer looking for a way to maybe move it to an earlier date. I am hoping for the best… I miss Alex. You see this I was talking about one thing and I am back to Alex. I do feel bad though I haven’t answered not one of his calls and have hung up on him a few times when he tries to call from the bar with Heather’s help.

I feel bad for Nick but I was honest with him when he tried to kiss me. He thinks I am going to change my mind if he continues to play his best friend role, but I guess he doesn’t understand that what I feel for Alex is just too strong. I can admit and say I am in love and have always loved Alex in my subconscious. It all came back when I saw him again… I don’t know how much longer I can pretend to be mad… when really I was flattered that he felt threaten by Nick because of me.

I guess I can admit and say I was madder at the fact that only gave Heather the conclusions needed for her to know well that I was definitely seeing Alex. Infidelity that’s what I should call it… I am or was the other woman. I know Alex says it doesn’t count because she is not his wife and he is not with her like that. But I still seem to think so, I know so and I feel like a mistress but yet I miss it? I miss Alex and I know sooner more than later I am going to call him and make plans to see him. I need him more than ever; I have Evelyn constantly asking for him.

My Evelyn she is doing well her cast if so freaking awesome with Nicks art work on it. She has come up to me now and has warned me that as soon as she can be old enough she will get tattoos on her because she thinks there freaking cool. I almost choked on my orange juice when she told me this, I only smiled thinking about the face Emmy would have made had she heard her daughter. Her stitches will come off tomorrow just in time for thanksgiving which I will be having at moms. I am not looking forward to it but I promised them I would be there or Evelyn’s sake.

Damn someone is knocking? Please don’t tell me Heather forgot her key? And why is she out so early from the bar? Ok I’m coming…oops I meant to say that. I’ll be back later.

Mattie.

*******

Alex extended the rose toward Mattie as she opened the door. “I’m sorry babe please let me talk,” he said in a desperate manner. “I have to see you and I truly am sorry.”

Mattie sighed and tried to show no emotion when she realized who was at her door at that time. She took the rose bringing it to her nose inhaling the very subtle rose smell. She moved to the side as she allowed Alex in. after closing the door she finally spoke, “Why are you here? Don’t you have work?”

“I am the boss remember,” Alex said giving her a shy smile with his hands in his pockets. “You haven’t answered my calls and you hang up on me so I had to come and see you here, or do you prefer for me to go looking for you at your job?” he asked as he got near her.

Mattie stepped back and began to walk to her living room the rose still in hand, “Ok well what do want to talk about?”

“About how sorry I am that I acted so stupid at the hospital and letting our secret out like that. But you have to admit that Nick was being a little show off being all touchy feely with you knowing that you are mine.” He said as he knelt beside where she had taken a seat. “And you didn’t do anything to stop him… I thought you had said he knew the real story about us and why we weren’t so public about our relationship.”

Mattie sighed and looked straight into Alex’s eyes. “Alex I trust you… you have to trust me. I get just as fucking jealous when Sharon is all over you the few times I have seen you with her…. like that day at the hospital. But I didn’t blow up and beat the crap out of her…”

“Point taken,” Alex said as he gave her a smirk. “That would have been one hell of a fight if she weren’t pregnant I mean.”

“Alex I’m serious here,” Mattie said smiling at his comment. “I punched Ricky that day it hurt my hand like a bitch but he got the worst part of it.” Mattie said as she moved the hand that had punched Ricky that day… it wasn’t purple anymore and the pain was gone.

“Good he deserves it,” Alex said taking her hand and softly kissing it all over with soft kisses.

Mattie closed her eyes as Alex kissed her hand, “I’ve missed you,” she admitted in a whisper as she continued to enjoy Alex’s lips on her hand.

“I have missed you to,” Alex said as he stood up pulling her to him and crashing his lips on hers.

Mattie only returned the fiery kiss with in her own passionate way. “Alex just promise me you will trust me…”

“I will try baby,” Alex said as he stopped kissing her his eyes penetrating hers. “But just tell me I want to hear you say it… your mine.”

Mattie felt butterflies in her stomach as he asked her to say those words, the truth was she was his heart and soul but yet the way he said did scare her a little but as she felt his lips on her neck nibbling away she only could agree in a whimper she said it… “I’m yours.”

*******

Alex put his keys on the key hanger by the door as he made back to his house. He was exhausted and even if nothing happened between him and Mattie aside from talking and making out he felt better.

He froze when he saw a very mad Sharon sitting on the sofa. “What are you doing up?” he asked as he realized she was dressed pretty sensual.

“It’s five in the morning Alex,” Sharon said standing up and walking up to him. “Your bar closes at one, where the hell have you been? I had taken my time fixing your room into a very romantic scene candles and all. But you never showed up!” she said raising her voice.

“I had to stay late… I did inventory and shit! Besides I never told you to wait up for me.” Alex said defensively as he walked away.

“I am your wife Alex!” Sharon yelled as she walked behind him.

Alex froze in his walk and turned to face her… “You’re not my wife you are simply the mother of my child and I thought I made that clear…”

“Is that so? Then why have we been together then… I thought we are making an effort here?” Sharon said anger apparent in her voice.

“No you keep seducing me your whole hormones and how the baby kicks… I don’t want it to happen again Sharon… Just lets wait till the baby is born and then we can talk about a relationship. Right now I just want to be here for the baby. He walked away leaving her standing there.

It hadn’t taken Alex more than five minutes to be in his dream world when a scream woke him up, he cursed as he lost the dream of him and Mattie having a nice time on the beach. “Sharon?” He asked as he stood up and walked toward her room.

“Alex!” Sharon said as he screamed again she was in bed holding onto her stomach. “I think Landon is coming.” She managed to say as she again screamed.

Alex looked at her confused and was wide awake, “You can’t your not even seven months yet.” He said panicking.

“Just get me to a hospital,” Sharon said smiling a little at the sudden care and attention Alex was giving her.

*******

“So you’re a first timer I am assuming?” the stranger said taking a seat next to Alex.

“Yeah…” Alex said smiling timidly at the tall man.

“Well it’s not that bad for us anyway… are you going to be in the delivery room?”

“I – don’t know?” Alex said with a doubtful look.

“It’s the best experience yet it is very graphic my respects to my wife… I was there when my son Mason was born… man!” he rolled his eyes a little.

Alex laughed a little and then he looked at the little boy playing, “Is that him?”

“Yep, number two is on the way. I’m Kevin by the way. So much for Thanksgiving being about grubbing… hospital food is horrible.” He extended his hand toward Alex.

“Alex, I didn’t have much plans anyway… my mother lives in Texas now my only family aside from the one coming.” he said taking his hand and shaking it.

Just then a nurse came out, “Mr. McLean?”

“Yes,” Alex said standing up and walked up to the nurse.

“The doctor would like to see you sir,” she told him as they began to walk down the hall.

Three minutes later he was in an office waiting for the doctor. He was now nervous he didn’t know what to expect and he had really freaked out when Sharon had called him.

“Mr. Mclean,” came the voice of an elder man as he walked in.

“Yes, is the baby ok?” Alex asked as he followed the doctor with his gaze.

“He’s fine; I called you in here because I have a concern over your wife.”

Alex rolled his eyes when he heard the doctor say wife, “not my wife…” Alex said as he continued to stare.

“Ok … I do apologize. Mr. McLean what Ms. Hatcher experienced is called Braxton Hicks it is common on pregnant women.”

“Braxton what?” Alex asked looking a little confused.

“Braxton Hicks… its false labor symptoms.”

“You mean she really isn’t in labor?” Alex asked.

“Exactly, she is fine now and I am sending her home today… but I have a little concern. The baby does seem a little stressed and I believe it’s her she is causing it. She has complained that she feels neglected and her heart rate is not looking well. I need to ask you to be more attentive to her, make her feel wanted; I know that you are excited about your son but remember that Ms. Hatcher needs some attention as well. I did give her some iron pills because her iron was low make sure she takes them.”

“Ok,” Alex agreed and sighed as he realized what he had been told.

********

“How do I look Aunt Mattie?” Evelyn said as she walked to the kitchen.

“You look very pretty,” Mattie said as she finished wrapping aluminum foil on her pumpkin pie. “Ready?”

“Yes… I hope grandma still made my mom’s favorite gravy not the other one.”

“I am sure she did the right gravy…” Mattie said as she looked at herself one more time on the reflection from the oven. She looked descent and she was covering most of her tattoos. She sighed in frustration when her phone began to ring.

“Brian?” she asked as she answered it.

“Yep the missus here wanted me to call you and invite you over for Thanksgiving. She cooked and I can tell you it is all very delicious well it smells divine.” Brian said in a chipper mood.

“Awe Bri,” Mattie said biting her lip. “I kind of already told mom I was going home for Thanksgiving but… I stop by after over there I promise.” She told him as she winked at Evelyn who was jumping with excitement wanting to go to Brian’s house as well.

“All right I will hold you to it, we can have a nice drink and just talk. Leighanne wants to see you and Evelyn.” Brian said.

“Ok see you there, I have to go but thanks for the invitation.”

“Hey you should have known I would invite you. Heather is coming over to eat before going to work… I am surprised she didn’t tell you.”

Mattie bit a little harder on her lip tasting blood when she heard Brian, “Yeah I haven’t been talking to her lately with Evelyn being here and her working it’s been rare when we actually get to see each other. I am also very busy at work, I enrolled to tutor kids on Saturday mornings and well you get the picture.” Mattie said letting out a small giggle.

“Yeah I do Ms. Benson…” Brian laughed. “Ok I’ll let you go then and see you here later.”

“Yeah later,” Mattie said hanging up. “Ok let’s go sweets.”

Forty five minutes later Mattie was parking at her mother’s house. She gave a heavy sigh as she looked to the back where Evelyn had fallen asleep. “Evelyn sweetie,” Mattie said gently tapping her knee.

“Are we here yet?” Evelyn asked as she yawned and rubbed her eyes with her good hand.

“Yep we are here.” Mattie said as she gave herself a once over on the mirror of her car.

“You look pretty aunt Mattie.” Evelyn said as she climbed to the front seat and out the door.

Mattie laughed a little trying to calm her nervousness. How was she going to pretend to be ok with her family when in reality they weren’t even getting along? They hated each other, but it was Thanksgiving and it was all about family. Even if you hated yours.

“You made it,” Sam said startling Mattie who was taking her time into the house.

“Yeah,” Mattie said eyeing her brother who was sitting alone on the porch. “I made a pie,” she told him giving him a small smile.

“Pumpkin?” Sam asked as he eyed the pie.

“Yep… I always made the best pumpkin pies.” Mattie said shrugging.

“Yeah you did,” Sam said just as one of Josie’s kids came out running. “Justin take that pie inside tell grandma your aunt Mattie is here.” He commanded to the young boy who looked annoyed at the request but still did as was told.

“Well someone got mad,” Mattie said as the boy rolled his eyes and walked back inside the house. “Did Evelyn go in already?”

“Yep… she went to get my magic cards.” Sam said scooting over so Mattie could sit by him.

“Oh no,” Mattie said smiling.

“I don’t hate you…” Sam said getting right to the point. “I never thought you would be a bad guardian for Evelyn. I believe just like Emmy that you will make one hell of a good mother for her. Mom just… she feels like she should have been the right choice for Evelyn, she is a mom and so she thinks she deserves it. Mom loves you Mattie she does… she worries for you just as much as she does for everyone else.”

Mattie snorted at Sam’s comment and then sighed heavily, “I love her too… it’s a love hate relationship… I know she wants the best for Evelyn, but I know I can be good.”

“I know you can,” Sam said wrapping his arm around Mattie. “But thank you….” he said smiling at her.

“For what?” she asked as she leaned into her brother.

“For punching the crap out of Ricky… that was priceless.” Sam said chuckling.

“What was priceless,” Rick said walking onto the porch.

“Nothing,” Sam said looking up at Ricky. “How’s the jaw man?”

“Fuck you,” Ricky said walking right back inside.

“Such a drama queen.” Sam said laughing. “So are we cool? I miss you Mattie, I miss your wacky emails at least. I am neutral I have no sides on this whole debacle so don’t give me the cold shoulder you understand?”

“You’re Switzerland?” Mattie asked chuckling realizing she was quoting Bella Swan.

“I guess you can say that,” Sam said knowing why she was laughing. “I just finished Breaking Dawn. My ex girlfriend got me into the books… shh don’t tell anyone about that though.”

“Awe so no marriage number two?” Mattie asked.

“Nope I don’t think I am getting married anymore…” Sam said rolling his eyes.

“Aunt Mattie?” Evelyn said coming out to the porch. “Pick a card…”

“Oh no,” Mattie said with a face of horror as she picked a card.

********

“It’s so late,” Mattie said as she rang the doorbell to Brian’s house.

“Hey you! You made it please come on in.” Brian said with a big smile.

Mattie knew Brian well enough to know Brian was tipsy. “Thanks,” she said as she and Evelyn walked into the house. “Where’s everyone?”

“Well Heather left back to the bar,” Brian said as he signaled them to follow him.

“Are you serious do you have customers on Thanksgiving?” Mattie asked.

“You’d be surprised…” Brian said as they walked out the patio where Leighanne and Dan from the restaurant along with Alex and Sharon all sat drinking… well except for Sharon who had fruit in her hand.

She had totally forgot that Alex would be invited but it was ok she could handle it. “Hello,” Mattie said in general as she got closer to them.

“Hey you made it,” Leighanne said as she handed her a frozen margarita. “Now look at you, you’ve grown.” She told Evelyn as she hugged her.

“I am going to be six soon,” Evelyn said excited. “I told aunt Mattie I didn’t want a party though I just want to go on a boat… on SS Matilda!” she said excitedly as he ran to Alex’s side and gave him a hug.

“OH that does sound nice we could go fishing.” Brian said eyeing Alex who was hugging Evelyn back.

“I can arrange something,” Alex said smiling and then he gave Mattie a stare that spoke thousands of words.

“I don’t know honey I mean after the scare we had today I might need to be at home bed rest,” Sharon said as she eyed Evelyn.

“You don’t have to Alex Evelyn knows that and we could always go to the beach instead… or how about Disney? Your uncle Sean would love to see you.” she told Evelyn who was now comfortably sitting on Alex’s lap.

“If I don’t go I am sure Brian could Sail it right Bri, take Evelyn out into the lake.” Alex said with gritted teeth as he glared at Sharon.

“Yeah I can do that,” Brian said making devious face. “So when is your birthday?” he asked Evelyn.

“December second,” Evelyn said with a smile on her face then she turned to Alex. “You have to go Alex…. and Sharon you could use a tan.”

“Its December, it might even rain and be cold.” Sharon said looking at Evelyn with envy.

“We will hope for a sunny day… its Florida for crying out loud.” Dan finally spoke as he finished his drink.

********

“Hey stranger,” Heather said as Nick approached the bar taking a seat on a stool. “What can I get for you?”

“Something strong,” He said giving her a smirk.

“Ok I just know what you’ll like,” Heather said as she began to prepare his drink. “It works for me all the time. What brings here? You do know who owns this place right?” She arched her brow as she looked at him.


“Eh, fuck him,” Nick said as he took the glass from her hand smelling it. “Thanks,” Nick said taking a swig.

Heather laughed when Nick made a face and then looked at her in surprise, “What the hell is that?” he asked as he took another swig.

Heather shrugged and then smiled… “Its good right it catches you off guard, I invented I call it “Caught in the act” cause that’s the feeling you get when you get caught having sex in the wrong place at the wrong time.” she smirked at him and laughed at his look.

“You would come up with something like that,” Nicks said giggling at her as he finished his concoction… “Can I have another one?”

“Another “caught in the act” coming up,” Heather said as she began to mix in the liquors. “Now easy though if not you might end up not being able to drive home… then who will take you?”

Nick shrugged and gave her a sly move, “I don’t plan on going home alone,” he said as he looked around the bar it was pretty busy. “That girl over there looks pretty lonely.”

Heather laughed, “I bet you will get turned down and what happened with trying to win Mattie’s heart?”

“That crashed and burned… I have to move on,” he said a little resentful.

“So are we on?” Heather asked eyeing the blonde Nick had pointed out.

“Deal you buy me a drink for me and her if I win if not….” He turned to look at her with a quizzical brow.

“Hmm…I’ll let you know once I win.” Heather smirked as she handed Nick another drink.

Nick took it and in one swig downed the drink, “Watch and learn.” He winked at Heather who only smiled at him.

*******

“Thanks again,” Mattie said as she hugged Brian. “I’ll call you when I get home. I can’t believe its one a.m. good thing tomorrow there is no school.”

Mattie drove in silence as Evelyn slept in the back. She had been quite nice today with Sharon always saying something smart.

She had a good time though especially when she would catch Alex staring at her and when he would give her his devious smile. God she wished she could just go up to him and kiss but she knew better. She would have thought she would have felt bad being around Sharon… but she didn’t because she had finally realized that Sharon was not a nice person and she sort of felt bad that Alex was stuck with her around since she was having his baby. Why could it have been her having his baby?

As for her family well aside from Sam it went all quiet and not much was talked about. She had managed to stay there till late why Evelyn and the kids all showed them magic tricks. After rushing to Brian’s house everything got a little better except for Sharon’s existence.

Finally she arrived at her house and was a little surprised to see Nick’s car in the driveway. By now it was ten till two in the morning. She hoped he hand been waiting her for her because she was in no mood to talk to him.

After struggling with Evelyn’s sleeping body she made to the front of her house. The lights were off and no sign of Nick on the front so she shrugged it off and opened her door. It wasn’t till after she had finished putting Evelyn to bed and she got ready for bed that she decided to go check on Heather.

As she slowly opened the door to Heather’s room she had to cover her mouth as she saw Nick and Heather fast asleep on her bed. But the room showed evidence about what had occurred. She left the room with a smile on her face… had Nick finally noticed Heather? She was happy right? She was happy for Heather... She was?

“Good morning,” Mattie said smiling at Heather who had just come out of her room yawning.

“Please don’t scream,” Heather asked rubbing her temples. “I feel like shit,” she said as she took a seat on the table.

“I would think you would feel refreshed…” Mattie said as she poured coffee into a cup. “Black with no sugar great for hangovers” she said as she placed in front of Heather.

“Ugh, no sugar…” Heather moaned as she took a big gulp. “I hate this… no more mixed liquor drinks for me…”

“Oh no don’t tell you did your famous “Caught in the act” drink!” Mattie said chuckling. “Did you give it to Nick too?”

“Ugh… crap Nick!” Heather said forcing herself to take another gulp of the coffee. “He’s still knocked out… but he kept asking for one after another.”

“So what happened?” Mattie asked with curiosity.

“Well you don’t know what your missing,” Heather said raising her eyebrows. Heather was about to spill her guts out when they were interrupted by someone clearing his throat.

“Man my head is killing me,” Nick said as he took a seat next to Heather.

Heather sighed heavily and pushed her cup of coffee toward Nick, “This helps a little,” she told him as she saw Nick sniff the cup. “Black coffee no sugar,” she told him.

Mattie rolled her eyes and went into the kitchen coming back with a bottle of Tylenol… “Here this will help more,” she told them chuckling.

*******

November came and went; Mattie and Alex continued to see each other. It was not a secret affair to the people they were close to… It was Wednesday and Mattie had just left Evelyn with her mother… she was going to meet Alex at the boat there favorite place for reunion.

She was walking down the dock when she spotted Alex he was standing on the boat a cigarette in hand, “Hey there handsome,” she told him with a sly grin on her face.

“Hey,” he answered as he helped her onto the boat. He didn’t wait long to crash his lips on hers. “I’ve missed you…” he said as he began to pull her into the boat and down to the room it had.

“We just saw each other yesterday,” she chuckled as she allowed him to remove her blazer. He sat on the couch and pulled her on top of him. Soon they were cuddled and just simply enjoying being in the arms of one another… “I don’t know if I should get Evelyn a puppy… she told me she wanted one but I don’t know…” she said as she put her hand in his pocket pulling out the packet of cigarettes.

“Hmm… I thought you had quit,” he asked with a small grin. “A puppy would be nice, it will distract her…”

“I did… and I now smoke occasionally only. Like right now that I am with you and after great sex… with you of course.” She kissed him before she put a cigarette in her mouth and lit it. She exhaled the smoke and spoke again, “I just don’t know what kind to get her… I mean it’s obvious it’s going to be living in my house… I don’t want a huge dog and I don’t like Chihuahua’s there to weird looking.” She shivered as she pictured a Chihuahua running around in her house.

Alex looked at her pensive and then chuckled as he took the cigarette from her hand and took a drag, “I think I know just what to get… leave it to me babe. I already made arrangements for Brian to take the boat on Saturday and have a party on it for Evelyn.”

“No, Alex you don’t have to do that,” Mattie said taking her cigarette back. “I don’t think I can be here and not see you… I can just throw her a small party at home.”

“I want to do it for Evelyn,” Alex said a little serious… “I am doing it for Evelyn and I just might be there just to piss Sharon off.” He kissed her cheek.

Mattie sighed and smiled, “You’re just to much Alex…. I love you.” she finished her cigarette and reached for the ash tray to put out the cigarette butt.

“I love you… I never stopped loving you I just learnt to live without you.” he sighed and then he kissed her temple. “How I wish you were having my baby…”

Mattie looked up at him and saw the look on his face, “Alex these things happen and even after this whole ordeal I can still have more of you babies.” She gave him a smile.

“Yeah?” Alex asked a little surprised with her comment. “You would like to have a baby with me?”

Mattie nodded and straddled him, “Yes… I want kids of my own and with whom better than you…” she took his lips in hers ending the conversation.

*******

December 20, 2010
Time: 11:00pm
Location: My room
Emotion: melancholy

I have to say I have neglected you for quite a long time and today I am finally catching up with you. I just have had a lot going on. from keeping an affair and Evelyn’s fall. Oh and lets not forget Heather and Nicks relationship. Man they are like rabbits… I have walked in on them a few times…

Ok but enough about that… I am sad because my father has been on my mind since last week… he passed on 15th I remember it clearly. I went to his grave and left him flowers and I went to moms and stole a few of our family home videos which I have been watching nonstop since then. I miss my father… Christmas is soon approaching and this is year it will be even sadder than last I assume since now Emmy will not be there.

I have arranged for Evelyn and I to go see them on Christmas day leave them some flowers. I don’t want Evelyn to forget these important times and I think it will be very sweet to have her be there with them for a little bit. I did catch her crying this weekend when she stayed with me. I hugged her and asked many times what was wrong with her but nothing could make say it, but I saw it in her eyes. It was finally hitting her that her parents weren’t on a vacation and would not come back….nope they were gone and she missed them. Who wouldn’t in such times as these…? Christmas is supposed to be family holiday.

I tried my best to make her understand that eventually she would be able to go through with life and that her parents were always going to be in her heart. That’s why I know our visit to see them will help it always helps me when I go see dad. It’s hard to see her so down when on her birthday she looked so happy and she loved her puppy. A cute little Yorkie that Alex got for her but put my name on it. I told him I would pay him back but he won’t allow me to.

I have to go… I actually do need some sleep. But I will try to come back and write sooner. I guess I can admit it helps me clear my mind.

Mattie.

*********

“I won!” Evelyn said in excitement as she hit Nick with the wii control on the head.

“I let you win,” Nick said grabbing Evelyn and tickled her to the ground.

“Alright enough,” Mattie said as she put her hands on her hip. “I need you tp get ready Evelyn we promised to be at Brian’s early this time.”

“Heather?” Nick said standing up. “Is she still in the shower?” he asked grinning a little.

“Yes and don’t Nick right now the house is rated G… go make yourself useful and wash this you and Evelyn dirtied them anyway.” She handed Nick the bowl of popcorn and two cups.

“You sound like mom you know,” Nick said giving her goofy smile.

“Good so what are you waiting for?” Mattie said in a motherly voice.

An hour later they were all packed in Nick’s car and on the way to Brian’s. “Hey aunt Mattie do you have a new years restolution?” Evelyn asked as she looked out the window.

“Do you mean resolution sweets?” Mattie asked as she laughed.

“Yes that, it’s hard to say just like hippmoutomous.” Evelyn said giggling.

“Hippopotamus.” Nick said correcting Evelyn.

“So do you aunt Mattie?” Evelyn asked again ignoring Nick.

“I don’t know I guess I haven’t really thought about it,” Mattie said when in her heard she knew what her resolution was… to win Evelyn’s custody and be with Alex out in the open.

“I do,” Evelyn said turning to stare at her aunt.

“Yeah? What’s that?” Mattie asked curiously as the other two Heather and Nick also looked curious.

“Mhmm… I can’t tell you if not it won’t happen and I want it to happen.” Evelyn said with a mischievous smile.

********

It was exactly eleven pm an hour till new years. Everyone was enjoying there drinks, when Brian’s phone rang.

“Hello?” Brian said into the receiver.

“Hey sorry we couldn’t make it to the party,” Alex said as he heard the people in the background.

“Hey it’s ok I get it,” Brian said a smile on his face. “Is she feeling better?”

“I think so she is asleep, I don’t know if this time it is the Braxton Hicks symptoms. But her water hasn’t broken and she still has a month to go…” he sighed heavily into the phone.

“Well call me anything… you sure you ok?” Brian asked as he walked farther away from the party and into a secluded area in his home.

“Well no I’m not ok, I have something that has me bothered. See I kind of slept with Sharon a few times since she moved in… but it was not my doing. I just don’t know if I should tell Mattie or not. She trusts me and I have failed her…” he sighed again.

“Wow,” Brian said and took a deep breath too. “I mean how was it not your doing? Maybe you still have feelings for Sharon.”

“NO,” Alex said quickly. “I don’t she came on to me and well…” Alex said not being able to say it. “You get the picture, I just needed to get out of my system its been killing me.”

“Well Brian said rubbing his neck, if I were you I would tell Mattie myself. You know Sharon will if she gets the chance.” Brian said.

“I know but what if she breaks up with me? I can’t loose her Brian, I love her.”

“Well technically she can’t break up with you per say but then again who am I to understand your relationship with her, just tell her. I have a feeling she will understand.”

“I guess your right,” Alex said and then his eyes widened. “Shit we are about to hit a new year. I will let you go so you could go celebrate. Happy new year man.”

“Same and remember I am here.” Brian said.

*******

Alex was out in the patio watching the fire works signaling a new year. He was also thinking about what Brian said. He lit a cigarette and exhaled when he heard Sharon call his name.

“Alex,” Sharon said as she felt a sharp pain. “Fuck I don’t think this is false labor!” she said as her water broke.

“Shit did your water just break?” Alex asked as he stomped on the cigarette and ran to her side.

“YES!” Sharon said with a scream as she held to him. “Landon is coming,” she managed to say as Alex guided her back into the house.

“Ok lets get you to the hospital.” Alex said as he ran and got the necessary things. As he drove to the hospital he dialed Brian’s number.

He hung up after his voice mail answered. “We are almost there,” he told Sharon who was actually pretty calm she would scream but not so bad.

“OK just hurry,” she said from the back seat.

Alex nodded and answered his phone when he saw Brian was returning the call. “Landon is coming,” he managed to say as he saw the emergency entry to the hospital.

“Oh wow ok well I’m on the way… don’t panic,” Brian said smiling as he hung up. He turned to look at the rest of the group that was still celebrating with them.

“Alex is having the baby!” he gave Leighanne a smile.

“Oh wow,” Leighanne said standing up. “We should go.”

“Yeah we should I don’t know if any of you want to come.” He knew the answer but he still felt like he needed to ask. He saw the look on Mattie's face she was in turmoil.

*******

Alex was busy making the call to Sharon’s mother and just going crazy on his own as Sharon was taken in. He was scared shitless… but yet something in his chest grew and he smiled in between all the chaos. His son was coming…. He also needed to call his mother who he had not even mentioned about a child.

Even if that sound of that scared because he knew he would get the lecture of his life nothing really mattered. The happiness of knowing his son was coming made it all better.

January 1, 2011
Time: 3:00am
Location: outside of Clewiston General… (Chain smoking… god I really am back to smoking shit!)
Emotion: Nervous, anxious

I want to go in there and be by Alex’s side but I can’t. I wonder how everything is going. I clearly remember the call Brian got as we welcomed the New Year at his house. He asked if anyone of us wanted to join him and Leighanne but of course he didn’t expect for any of us to actually go…especially me the other woman.

I don’t know what to feel… I mean I am happy for Alex but yet now it has hit me that he will have a son and that I am the culprit in why he’s baby’s mother was not going to part of his life like it should. She was just going to be his son’s mother and I was going to take her place… could I do that? Could I honestly do that? Will I be able to do that to Landon?

Landon… what a name. I wonder if he will look like his daddy. Will he have those beautiful brown eyes and the long eyelashes that make slight shade right under his eyes? Will he have that one dimple Alex gets when he smiles… or will he be like the mother?

Why was god doing this? I was finally getting hit with all the guilt from the many meetings Alex and I had during this ordeal. I was the other woman and now that I realized that its real… Sharon is in there in pain giving birth to Alex’s baby I realize that maybe what I have done is not right… but yet I can’t say I could leave Alex. I love him.

I don’t even know why I am here… I should be at home sleeping and checking on Evelyn who is fast asleep with Rocky… that’s what she named her Yorkie. I am crazy aren’t I?

Shit, I should go… I will write to you later. I honestly don’t know what has gotten into me.

Mattie.

********

“Mr. McLean?” Dr. Burk said as he walked into the waiting area.

“Yes,” Alex said standing up. “How is she can I go in… I want to be in the delivery room.”

“I am afraid we have to perform an emergency c-section. Your son is a breeched baby and we must get him out soon… your wife is on the way to the OR… I will be back as soon as your son is born.”

“Ok,” Alex said confused and worried.

“Don’t worry Alex Landon will be fine you’ll see,” Leighanne said as she hugged Alex.

“Yeah… it’s just I was expecting to be in the delivery room…” he gave her a small smile. “sorry for ruining your New Years.”

“No you didn’t this is way much more important…” Brian said smiling at him. “I expect you to be by my side when I experience my child’s birth.”

Alex gave a small chuckle as he wiped his face… “I need a smoke,” he said as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes. “Will you call me if anything happens? I will only be a few minutes.”

“Yeah of course go ahead,” Brian said smiling at him but once Landon is out we are smoking one of these…” he said pulling out to cigars and smiling. “I’ve bought them to celebrate.”

“You will not smoke that will you?” Leighanne asked rolling her eyes. “You can’t even handle any little smoke let alone you smoking that.”

“I will you’ll see.” Brian said giving his wife a grin.

“Oh I would love to see that too!” Alex said laughing. He began to walk toward the exit, sighing as he was hit with a very cool breeze. “Damn I should’ve brought a jacket.” He said to himself as he lit his cigarette.

He took a deep sigh of relieve as he exhaled the smoke and that’s when he spotted the red beetle parked by his car. “Mattie?” he squinted to see better and he just knew it was her. He smiled and began to walk toward the car as he got closer he realized it was her and she was busy smoking away. He tapped the passenger’s window and grinned when he saw her jump. “Babe? What are you doing out here?” he asked as he opened the door and hoped in.


Mattie shrugged and gave him a small smile. “I just had to come…even if I didn’t go in… how’s everything going?”

“I hope good…. Landon is a breeched baby so Dr. Burk is performing an emergency c-section.” He said as he took the last drag from his cigarette.

“Everything will come fine you’ll see. So he decided to come early huh?” Mattie said as she reached for his hand.

“Well only a couple of weeks,” he gladly took her hand. “I have to say I am happy you’re here,” he kissed her hand. “I’m going to be dad in a few hours… officially.” He widened his eyes in mock horror.

Mattie chuckled and leaned in to kiss him, “a very nice daddy…” she told him.

“Yeah I am going to probably spoil him rotten…” he sighed and cupped her face. “is it wrong that I wish it was you in there having my child not Sharon?” he asked as her as he brushed his lips softly on hers.

Mattie cleared her throat, “I think Landon will be a wonderful blessing and his father is going to love him with all his heart… God allowed him to come to this world for a purpose even if its not me in there…” she told him.

“I love you… I want you to marry me babe. I don’t want to wait till you go to court. I want you to be my wife and it will be easier to win custody like that babe.” Alex said kissing her hungrily.

“What about Sharon? You have to understand now you have a child and the responsibility of being there for him. I know that Sharon will need your help especially after this… I will marry just wait… time Alex.”

“This fucking sucks you know… Not Landon coming but our situation.” He sighed heavily as he lit another cigarette.

Mattie smiled and kissed his neck… “Your not the only that feels like that you know.” she said as she rested her head on his shoulder.

The just sat there in silence as Alex finished his cigarette. After that Mattie cleared her throat and spoke again… “I think you should go back in there… Everything will be fine and soon you will be holding Landon in your arms…” a tear rolled down Mattie’s face.

Alex kissed her tear as it rolled down her cheek, “I wish you could be in there with me…” he told her giving her a small smile. “I send you a picture by phone once I have him in my hands. Thanks for being here even if its out here in the parking lot.”

“I will always be here for you…” she told him as she kissed him one more time. “Ok well I should go it’s almost five…”

“Yeah you should… be careful.” Alex said as he got out of the car and began to walk toward the entrance of the hospital. He smiled as he heard Mattie pull out of the parking lot and drive off.

******

“She’s in here,” the nurse told Alex as they stopped at the door to the room where Sharon and his son were in now.

He opened the door slowly and peaked in to see Sharon crying. “Sharon what’s wrong are you in pain?” he asked he made it to her side. “shh… hun, please stop crying.”

“I can’t stop crying… I feel horrible and you are going to hate me.” she said between sobs.

Alex became alarmed as he looked at her suspiciously. “Landon is fine the doctor told me is a fine baby…did something happen? Sharon what are you talking about?” Alex said as he went around to where the crib was he could only see the covers, his was in there right?

“No Alex wait,” Sharon said to no avail Alex was already at the crib and he was pulling the baby out.

“What the fuck?” Alex said as he stared the baby. He was sucking on his thumb and he stretched… he blinked a few times and then stared at Sharon. “What is this? I mean who is the father cause I sure as hell know I am not!”

He stepped away and looked at her for answers. “Sharon answer me…” he said with a calm voice a little too calm.

“I thought… he was yours. I honestly believed it was yours… I mean before we broke up, you and me well slept together many times if I recall. I would have never thought that the one night that I slept with someone else I would have gotten pregnant. It was the day we had that huge fight remember and I left I met this guy at a bar and we talked… one thing led to another. I just remember waking up in a hotel room with him.”

“You have to be fucking kidding me… you cheated on me with a black guy?”

“It was a one time thing and well after that we got back together I only assumed you were the father. I wanted you to be the father…” she said crying again. “I am so sorry Alex…”

“No shit, you cheated on me and then you get pregnant by someone else and you try to guilt me into taking you in thinking that I don’t want my son to grow up not knowing his father… and Bam! Turns out he isn’t even mine…” he laughed sarcastically.

“You cheated on me too with Mattie… in fact you had her living with you if I recall!” she said getting a little offended.

Alex stopped laughing and pointed to her… “No I did not you had dumped remember you ran from commitment… I asked you to marry you say you needed a break. I did not cheat on you I simply moved on.” he sighed in frustration and looked again at the crib poor kid he didn’t have the fault. He walked up to the baby and put him in his arms. Even if he wasn’t his he had come to love him… “He little guy,” he whispered as he cradled him. “Listen I am sorry about all this… I hope you mommy does find your real daddy so he can meet you. I bet you will be a great little fella.” He kissed his forehead and put him back on the crib.

He looked at Sharon who was still crying, “Now as for you… I will have everything sent to your old apartment with your roommate. Even the baby’s clothes, who is the father?”

“I don’t even remember his name…” Sharon said sobbing.

“Well you better find him… as for me I don’t ever want to see you again.” He said as he walked out of the room and finally the tears came down his face freely.

“Hey what’s wrong Alex?” Brian said with concern as Alex made it to them. “Is Landon ok?”

Alex smiled ruefully and tried to control his tears. “Yep he is very fine and not my son.”

“What do you mean not your son?” Brian said surprised.

“Like I said not my son, she cheated on me and well Landon is the product of that.” Alex said again tears coming down his face. “I need to get out of here…” he left without another word.

*********

Mattie woke up to her phone vibrating like crazy… she looked at the caller ID and without hesitation she answered. “Hello?”

“Hey can I come up?” Alex asked as he finished his cigarette. “I outside your door…”

“Uhm ok… give me a minute,” Mattie said hanging up and pulling on a robe she walked out of her room and opened the door. “Hey…what’s wrong babe.” She asked as she realized he was crying. Instinctively she thought the worse… “Is Landon ok?”

Alex only shook his head and crashed his lips on her pushing her inside. He closed the door with his foot and not allowing any space between him and Mattie he began to walk to her room.

Mattie only kissed him back but she could feel the tears as they rubbed on her face, something was wrong but it was apparent that Alex did not want to talk about. “Are you ok?” she asked finally breaking away.

“I don’t know…” he said as he removed his shirt and pants. He began to untie her robe and then once it was off he took her hand and led her back to her bed. “I just want to be hold you and think…” he told her as he spooned her as they lay in bed.

“Ok,” Mattie said as she felt the tears fall to the crook of neck where Alex rested his head. “I love you and I am here.” She told him taking his hand and kissing each knuckle.

“I know…” he said sighing heavily. “I need to sleep on it… I will tell you though.”

“I can wait,” she told him as she turned so she could face him. “I will be here when you wake… but everything is ok right?”

Alex nodded as he kissed her one more time, “I love you…” he said as he cuddled into her he didn’t know if could actually sleep but he was going to try… he had just driven straight from the hospital to Mattie’s.

Mattie just kissed his jaw and gently massaged his face. He had closed his eyes and she just wondered why he was here. He had nodded that everything was good with Landon… she sighed in frustration as she heard his light snore. He must have been tired. She knew soon she would have to wake up and go on about cooking breakfast but for now she just cuddled next to him as well just wondering.

******

January 2, 2011
Time: 11:00am
Location: My room…(watching Alex sleep.)
Emotion: curious and worried.

So early this morning I wake up to my phone vibrating like crazy, I answer it because I saw it was Alex. He was outside my house wanting for me to let him in. I got a little worried by this so of course I went to let him in, I would have done anyway. From that point on all I can remember correctly is the passionate kiss that woke me up. I didn’t understand why though, I tried to get him to tell me why he was here and why he was crying. Alex was crying and it made my heart drop.

I have been super patient and haven’t woke him up; I am sure he needs the rest and I have been tempted in calling Brian. I’ve seen his phone and he has several missed calls from Brian and a few from his mother. I know something really bad must have happened. I just don’t want to wake him for that, he will tell me said he would. He’s been asleep for quite sometime… I have managed to feed Evelyn and after telling Heather what I knew so far she volunteered to take Evelyn to the Zoo, of course that meant Nick and his nephew were going.

I really appreciate Heather and what she’s done today for me. Now it’s just me and Rocky sitting on this nice couch watching Alex sleep. I am worried at this point I am and if he doesn’t wake up soon, I am going to have to call Brian. Wait he’s stirring, I have to go but I tell you later.

Mattie.

*********
Alex stretched and his hand searched for Mattie but her side of the bed was empty. He sat up and looked around quickly he spotted her sitting on the couch she had in her room. She had on a small smile on her face, “How long have you been up?” he asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Well since Evelyn came knocking on my door oh I don’t three hours ago.” She said smiling as she stood up and walked up to him. “You needed the rest…so how about you take a shower while I fix you something to eat. I have an extra tooth brush in there you can use.” She leaned in and kissed his forehead.

“A shower sounds nice, but I didn’t bring any clothes.” Alex said as he stood up stretching.

Mattie gave him a sly grin as she grabbed the elastic of his boxes and pulled them down. “Don’t worry I’ll put these to wash with you pants and shirt… for now you can you my robe.” She said standing back up checking out her naked boyfriend who was only smiling back at her.

“What about Evelyn she will see me in your robe,” Alex said taking the robe from her hand.

“Evelyn is at the zoo with Heather no worries,” she told him giving him a playful push toward the bathroom. “I will be in the kitchen when you’re done ok?” she told him as she picked up his clothes from the floor.

“Ok, you sure you don’t want to join me?” he asked from the door way.

Mattie eyed him and smirked, “Tempting but not right now…” she said as she walked out of her room Rocky right behind her.

********

Mattie was busy preparing Alex some lunch. She had not noticed that Alex was watching her with a small smile on his face. “It smells really nice.” He commented as he walked up to her his arm going around her waist. “Hi,” he said kissing her cheek.

“Hi, you look better… squeaky clean. You smell nice…ooh all you need now is a razor.” She told him as she turned to face him.

“I’ll clean up my beard soon enough.” He told her taking her by surprise when he kissed her.

Mattie got caught up in the kiss she almost forgot about her pork chops. “Hungry?” she asked as he pulled away so she could turn them around.

“Very…” he said eyeing what she was cooking. “I guess it’s too late for breakfast huh?” he said as he walked to her coffee maker pouring himself some coffee.

“Yeah… I am hungry too so that’s why I am cooking.” She told him as she continued to busy herself with the food on the stove. “Oh by the way your wallet and stuff is in the counter over there. You have quite a few missed calls… if you want to take care of them while I finish up here.” She said when what she really wanted was to ask him to talk.

“Oh, thanks.” Alex said eyeing his things from where he stood. “I’ll take care of that later. Need any help?”

“Nope almost done, just could you hand me two plates from there?” she pointed toward the direction and watched Alex get her the plates. “Do you feel refreshed?” she asked him as she took the plates from him.

“Yeah… I really haven’t been sleeping well and then with yesterdays shit well it took a toll on me.” he said his face turning serious. “I’m glad I have you though,” he said turning to smile at her.

“Yeah? I will be here always babe,” she told him as she began to serve the plates.

“Sharon lied to me… the baby isn’t mine.” He said bluntly as he finished his coffee. “The worse part she didn’t even tell me there was a possibility that someone else could be the dad. So when I went to see my “son” it turns out that he wasn’t mine. He’s half black…”

Mattie’s mouth was open as she heard him… “Oh, babe I am so sorry.” She told him as she set the plates on the table and went up to him hugging him.

“She tried to make me feel guilty by saying she honestly thought it was mine since we had sex often… and that she only met this guy once at a bar when we were still dating. I don’t give a fuck about her but I actually thought he was mine.” Alex continued as he stood there in Mattie’s embrace.

“I know how much you cared for that baby…I am so sorry Alex.” Mattie said kissing his chin and then his lips.

“I feel even worse though because I really wanted to be that baby’s father even if it wasn’t you who was pregnant… I had already come to sort of accept it. Yet at the same time I feel relieved… because now I can go on with my real intentions. To marry you.” he said seriously as he cupped her face. “I’m evil aren’t I?”

Mattie shook her head, “No your not how were you suppose to know this was going to happen. I can certainly understand how you feel about it…but we’ll get through I am here for you.”

“I want to set a date for our wedding.” He said seriously making her look at him. “Soon… I know that it will help with the custody battle.”

Mattie smiled at him, “Ok I will think about a date but for right now let’s eat.”

“Just because I am hungry am I going to let you get away without more on this conversation, but Mattie you are marrying me so you better set a date or I will kidnap you and take you to Vegas; where will get hitched through a drive through!” he told her smacking her behind as he followed her to the table.

*******

“Ok I won’t mention a thing!” Evelyn said as she changed into her pajamas. She had come back from the zoo and was surprised to find Alex there. She had heard about him having a baby.

“Hey aunt Mattie?” Evelyn said as she sat still so Mattie could brush her hair.

“Yes sweets,” Mattie said as she brushed her hair.

“So since Sharon is no longer in the picture does that mean you and Alex are boyfriend a girlfriend again?”

Mattie laughed and poked Evelyn’s side, “That is none of your business young lady. But if you must know… yes.”

“Good because I was getting sick and tired of trying to be nice to Sharon she was mean.” Evelyn said making a face. “So can he go with us when they take my cast off?”

“I’ll ask him see if he wants to remember he is sad still so be nice to him ok?” Mattie said as she finished with her hair.

“I will,” Evelyn said as she walked out of her room and into the living room where Alex sat watching the news. “Alex I just wanted to say good night.” she told him as she got near him and climbed on his lap.

“Oh ok good night, but you have to tell me how the zoo was tomorrow ok?” Alex said as he gave her a smile.

“I can tell you now, my favorite were the flamingos they are so pretty… we also so a huge crocodile. It was fun we have to go together sometime. Hey Alex?” Evelyn said as she hugged him.

“Yeah?” Alex asked as he hugged her back.

“I am happy you are back and can I tell you a secret?” she asked him in a whisper.

“Ok,” he said eyeing her curiously.

“I like you, you make my aunt Mattie happy. Are you going to marry her?”

Alex laughed at her and then cleared his throat, “I am going to marry her and you are going to be our flower girl.”

“Again a flower girl… man that is hard work but I would do it again for you and Mattie.” She gave him a grin and put her finger to her mouth when she heard Mattie coming.

“Ok Evelyn time for bed…” Mattie said eyeing Alex and Evelyn suspiciously. “What are you too hiding?”

“Nothing,” Evelyn said quickly as she kissed Alex on the cheek and jumped of his lap. “I am ready for you to tuck me in Aunt Mattie. Could you also leave Justin Beiber playing on my iPod…? I can sleep faster like that.” she gave her a grin.

“We’ll see,” Mattie said as she took her hand. “I’ll be right back ok?”

Alex nodded with a grin as he watched them both disappear. He sighed as he realized he had been given another chance to live his life. He had spoken to his mother and had told her everything including his reunion with Mattie. She was thrilled to hear about them being together again and was even happier to learn that Landon wasn’t his. Denise had always made it clear that she did not like Sharon.

Now all he wanted to ask Mattie if he could move in here with her. He just couldn’t be at his house and he definitely liked it here with Mattie. He was happy right? But why did he still keep seeing the baby’s face when he closed his eyes. It wasn’t his son… yet he felt sorry for him? He only wondered how Sharon was going to do it… raise him and what was she going to tell him when he asked about his father. He shook his head again and tried not to think about it anymore…

******

After another hour of watching the TV with Alex beside her Mattie decided it was best to go bed. “Shall we head to bed?” she asked Alex who was dosing off either way.

“Yeah,” he managed to say as he stretched and stood up taking her hand. “What about Heather does she have her own key?” he asked as he eyed the lock door.

“Yeah she will be fine if she doesn’t end up at Nicks house, see I told you I would hook them up.” She said as she followed him to her room.

“Yeah you did say that,” Alex said as he pulled into her room shutting the door and in the process pinning her to it. “Now…” he said as he nuzzled her neck with is chin. “I have some plans for us tonight.”

Mattie only smiled and moaned when she felt his hand under her shirt. “We have to be a little quiet though remember Evelyn is only down the hall.” She said in a whisper as she felt the cool air as her shirt was tossed to the floor.

“Oh I will be very quiet…” told her as he began to unzip her pants. “I love you Mattie.”

“I love you too,” She told him as she also began to undress him. She was pushing him toward the bed, she was loosing any sense of control as she felt his kisses his touch.

“Aunt Mattie?”

Alex sighed in disappointment as Mattie’s eyes snapped opened when she heard Evelyn and the knock on her door. She cleared her throat and began to put her shirt back on in the process throwing Alex his clothes. “Yes sweets?” she asked as both she and Alex hurried to put there clothes back on.

“I can’t sleep I am scared and Rocky is too,” Evelyn said as Mattie opened the door.

“Oh sweetie why not? Do you want me to check the under the bed for you?” Mattie asked as she patted Evelyn’s head.

“No you’ll get scared too… Can Alex check for me…I think I saw big foots leg under my bed.” she said as she hugged Rocky.

“Well…” Mattie said eyeing Alex who was smiling.

“Yeah let’s go investigate,” Alex said walking to the door he pinched Mattie’s butt and quickly whispered into her ear… “I owe you but we will finish this later.” he winked at her as he followed Evelyn.

Mattie giggled and followed them to Evelyn’s room.

Alex smiled as he put the paper on the pillow for Mattie to find and read. He smiled as he saw Evelyn cuddled with Mattie. It turned out that no matter how much assurance he had given Evelyn about Big Foot not being under her bed she opted to sleep with Mattie.

Meaning he was left to the couch, his back was killing him. Yet wouldn’t have changed anything ok maybe he would have had a little more alone time with Mattie. But he had something plan for that later… he walked out and into his car on thing in his mind.

He already had everything planned in his head and he knew where he needed to go. three place, one his house and make sure everything that belonged Sharon be sent to her; two see Leighanne about wedding plans because knowing Mattie she was not going to decide so he had to do… he wasn’t going to loose her this time and finally the biggest of them all see his future mother in law he was old fashioned and he there was a chance he would get told off. But he was going to try either way… he wanted Mrs. Bensons approval to take Mattie’s hand in marriage.

******

Mattie woke up with Evelyn cuddled next to her and a smile spread on her face as she remembered the events from the night before. Alex had behaved so well with Evelyn and the monster she swore she saw under her bed.

She also remembered the face he made when he realized that Evelyn was not going to stay her room but in hers instead. He had stayed with them till Evelyn went to sleep and then he got up and took the couch.

She felt a little worried he seemed to be in his thoughts for to long and he was not eating right well she really shouldn’t worry about that yet because only yesterday had he found out the child he thought he was going to have was no longer his. It made her happy the news but also sad to see the way he had taken the news.

She had by then seen the note and smiled… he had gone to his house to get his stuff moved to her house. They had talked about that yesterday… he didn’t want that house anymore and she had laughed at his other explanation, “Besides your about to be married to me so why not just start practicing the married life.”

Marriage, yep that was the scary part for Mattie. Maybe just maybe that’s why she had run away the first time from here, because she knew where her relationship with Alex was heading. But no she wanted this right? It was obvious she loved him and he was a great catch yet why was this whole marriage thing still bugging.

“Aunt Mattie,” Evelyn spoke as she waved her good hand in front of her.

“Yes sweets?” Mattie said coming back from her thoughts.

“Where’s Alex?” she asked her with a curious look.

“He went to do some errands but he will be back later…” Mattie said as she got up and went straight to her bathroom, “go brush your teeth so we can start breakfast,” she told Evelyn before she began to brush her own.

“Yay because I am hungry!” Evelyn said as he ran off to her room Rocky following her.

*******
“I don’t know Alex,” Leighanne said as she took a seat on the chair. “maybe you should let her tell me.”

“I am going to tell her but I want you to take care of it all… invitations and what not. I don’t want nothing big… Just something small and personal a few people, close friends and family. I am just going to give her the ring and the date… all she has to do is find a dress if not fine I’ll marry in jeans.” Alex said as he took a seat in front of her eyeing the menu.

“Ok tell you what, I will do it after you call me from telling her. I just want you to tell her first that’s all… I like the whole planning thing.” She told him smiling as she saw Brian walking up to them.

“What are you doing holding up my employee like that!” Brian said with his hands on his hips.

Alex rolled his eyes and stood up to hug his friend. “Hey sorry for running out on you and Leigh like I did that day at the hospital. I just had to run….” He said giving him a smile.

“I already told you we understood Alex…” Leighanne said patting Alex on the shoulder.

“Are you ok though?” Brian asked eyeing his friend worriedly.

“Better than fine, I was just here to hire Leighanne as my wedding planner. I have just closed the deal with her, and I must go.” he said as he looked at his watch.

“I didn’t say yes!” Leighanne said laughing.

“You will after I call you…” Alex said winking at her before he began to walk out of the restaurant.

“Ok when’s the wedding and is it to Mattie?” Brian asked still feeling left out on the whole conversation.

“Leigh can fill you in,” He yelled as he walked out and into his car. As he closed the door and the ignition was on he sighed. Now it the hard part Mattie’s mother and he knew somehow Ricky too.

Without really thinking he was already there, he couldn’t help but smile the freaking house looked the same since he remembered it. He eyed the window he would climb in to see Mattie almost every night and then every Saturday night when he came home from Palm Beach where he attended college. He wiped his hands on his pants and sighed as he realized that this conversation was really over due… eleven years or so if it would have been for to have decided.

He did a quick prayer and stepped out the car as he walked up the path to the door he felt like bolting but he knew better. He took a deep breath and was startled when he saw Josie sitting on the porch it was apparent she was due any day.

“What brings you here Alex? Mattie is not staying here you know,” Josie said as she took a sip of her lemonade.

“Hi Josie nice to see you too…” Alex said as he got a better view of her and it only brought back the memory of Sharon being pregnant. He sighed and swallowed as he pushed that memory away. “I know Mattie is not here,” Alex said after he smiled.

“Oh so then who are you looking for?” Josie said as she tried to stand up. He signaled for her not to stand.

“I want to talk to your mother actually,” he said finally saying it.

“About what could you possible want to talk to me about?” Louise said coming out of the house.

“Mrs. Benson,” Alex said as he smiled. “Well I was wondering if I could speak with you in private.”

“What for Josie will find out anyway,” Louise said bluntly.

“Fine,” Alex said sighing, “ma’am I’ve known you all my life and I always thought we got along fine.” He suddenly began to feel hot.

“Well I don’t know about that, you knocking up some girl and cheating on her with my daughter really doesn’t come up high on my list of friends. You mother she was a nice lady… I think she spoiled you though a little to much.” She said with a very pompous tone.

Alex only smiled nervously, “I beg your pardon Mrs. Benson but you can’t believe everything you here, Sharon was my girlfriend and we had broken up before Mattie showed up. Now just so you know the kid she had isn’t even mine, but that is not the reason why I am here. I am here because I love your daughter Mattie, I have always loved her.”

“Well Alex I am glad you find her attractive because she is one conniving woman, I bet she was with Emmy when she made that stupid will.” She said turning to look at Josie.

“You know what Mrs. Benson,” Alex said finally his voice firmer. “I can’t believe you can express yourself like that about you daughter your flesh and blood. By god that is the most horrendous thing I have ever witnessed… how can you love some of your kids more than the others? The Mrs. Benson I remember was not bitter and despiteful as you are now! Mattie just as all your other kids have different qualities and I know that Mattie would do anything for you… I still can’t understand you sudden change toward her. She is not to blame for what happened to your husband Mrs. Benson. Yeah she told me about it,” he said now infuriated by her. “I wanted to come here to tell you that I wanted your consent in me taking Mattie as my wife. I wanted to be the one to tell you that she was ready to settle and that we would love for you to be there… but you know what now I can see why Mattie wouldn’t want this. I should’ve thought it through more… but one thing I do have to say. I love your daughter very much and I am going to marry her. Isn’t that one of the reasons you don’t like her? well now you can erase that one off your list on reasons to despise her. I am leaving but not before I say how much I regret coming… You say Mattie is fucked up but maybe you should reanalyze everything maybe she is not the only that is Fucked up.” Alex said finally breathing as he walked away leaving a baffled Josie and Louise on the porch.

“Real fucking bad idea,” Alex said as he sped away.

*******

“Evelyn?” Mattie smiled as she found her on the couch fast asleep with Rocky right beside her.

It was almost four in the afternoon and she knew according to the note Alex had left that he would soon arrive. So she picked Evelyn up and took her to her room, after tucking her in she walked out just as Heather was up.

“Hey how was your sleep.” Mattie asked as she eyed Heather she was already dress and was getting her purse ready.

“Great, I just realized I am a night person… I am a night owl. I have to go I told Nick I would meet him in town for a late lunch before heading to work.” Heather said as she kissed Mattie on her way out.

Mattie sighed as she watched Heather walk out and then she walked to the kitchen where the two frozen pizzas were. It had been Evelyn’s choice today and she wanted pizza. She put the two Pepperoni pizza’s in the oven putting the timer on it so they would not burn.

She had just taken a seat on the couch when the door opened and she saw Alex with some luggage on his hands. “Hi honey I’m home!” he said with a big cheesy smile on his face. “I always wanted to say that.”

Mattie rolled her eyes as she went up to him. “Welcome home,” she said before she crushed her lips on his.

Alex soon forgot about his luggage as he dropped on the foyer so his hands could go on her waist instead. “I believe we have something finish.” he told her as he closed the door to the house and carrying her in his arms to the couch.

He laid her down and began to kiss her when he remembered Evelyn. “Crap let me not get carried away.” he said stopping and looking at Mattie with a weak smile.

“She’s asleep,” Mattie said pulling on him again taking his mouth again a light moan escaping his mouth.

They were barely getting at it when Evelyn voice was heard. “Rocky get back here!” she yelled from the hall making Alex jump and readjust his pants and shirt.

“Aunt Mattie Rocky has my ring in his mouth!” Evelyn yelled as she made to the living room totally forgetting about Rocky when she saw Alex. “Alex your back and in time we are having pizza today!”

Alex smiled and picked her up in an embrace. “Yay I love pizza, so what does Rocky have that’s yours?” he asked as Mattie turned a shade of red from almost getting caught.

“Oh right my ring…” Evelyn said sliding off his arms and to the couch where Rocky now sat… “Rocky where is my ring?” Evelyn asked as she moved him and checked all around.

“Uhoh I thing Rocky ate it Evleyn.” Mattie said with a smirk on her face… “What ring was it?” she asked.

“My Selena Gomez ring!” she said with annoyance.

“Don’t worry sweetie we’ll get it back we just have to watch Rocky very carefully for the next few days.” Alex said patting her shoulder.

“Why you think hid it?” Evelyn asked curiously.

“Well not technically but lets just say what goes in always comes out.” Alex said chuckling.

“What does that mean?” Evelyn asked rolling her eyes.

“That Rocky will poop it out Evelyn eventually.” Mattie said laughing too.

“Ewww I don’t want it back like that you can have it Rocky!” Evelyn said making a face.

“Don’t worry will get you a new one?” Alex said just as the timer on the oven went off.

“OH the pizza is ready!” Mattie said as she ran to the kitchen smiling when she saw Alex Evelyn behind her. Rocky was also running behind them.

“So you know I love you right?” Alex said as he helped Mattie unpack his belongings.

“Yes,” Mattie said stopping what she was doing to look at him.

“So you can’t get mad at me,” Alex said stopping what he was doing and going up to her embracing her as he kissed her lips. “I went to see you mother today.” He said with a small smile on his face.

“You what?” Mattie asked.

“Well I wanted to ask for your hand in marriage… I had pictured my meeting with her to be more graceful but it didn’t turn out like that…I told her off.” He said sighing heavily as he kissed her cheek.

Mattie started chuckling… “I can’t picture you telling my mother off,” she said leaning up to kiss his lips. “So I assume she still didn’t give a rat’s ass about me or what is going on in my life?”

“Mattie I think your mother needs to see a psychologist or something. How can she not stand you… it’s not your fault that Emmy wanted to leave Evelyn with you. Besides you have everything to be a great mother. I don’t know where your mother changed; she used to be so nice.” Alex said.

“I guess in a way it was my fault, I never came down for holidays and I avoided the family the best I could. I can’t blame it all on her. She only saw me in the rest of my brother’s and sister’s weddings… sometimes I would show up with a guy, but it was only to show her I was fine. My dad well he was just dad… I was daddy’s little girl.” Mattie blinked trying to stop her tears from coming down.

“Well let’s not dwell on that babe you got me and we have a wedding to plan.” He said hugging her. “How about Valentine’s day?”

“Valentines day?” Mattie said surprised.

“Yeah why not?” Alex asked kissing her.

Mattie pulled away, “that’s too soon… I mean I have to get prepared do the invitations and everything,” Mattie said stuttering.

“Babe do you love me?” Alex asked raising her chin so she could see him in the eyes.

“Yes,” she whispered as she panicked inside… she loved him but could she really do this? It would be official and that sort of still scared her?

“Then why are you making this so difficult you leave the planning to me just find a dress. February 14th what do you say?” Alex asked as he kissed her a little too persuasive.

Mattie closed her eyes as she gladly kissed Alex back… why was she making this so difficult. Alex was right… “Ok,” she told him as his lips traveled down her neck. She moaned softly as Alex pushed her till she hit the closet door, “remember Evelyn is here.”

Alex pouted and sighed, “Right Evelyn,” he kissed her one more time.

“I am taking her to my mom’s tonight it’s her turn with her and well its closer to school.” Mattie said smiling at Alex seductively, “But then again you’ll be at work.”

“I’ll be back early especially if by chance my fiancée, passes by the bar on her way back from her mothers.” Alex said as he dug through his pocket and produced the ring he had put on her hand earlier before the Sharon mess. He took her left and placed it where it belonged.

“I might just stop by I would love a drink, god knows I need it! I am going to be the bride at a wedding I am not in any way planning but that my fiancé is, plus a few weeks later I have a custody battle to win!” she said kissing him as she went back to helping him unpack his stuff.

******

January 5, 2011
Time: 12:10am
Location: Skull & Bones Bar
Emotion: indescribable

I am here sitting in my fiancée desk writing waiting for him to finish his day of work. I can’t believe I am actually getting married in only a few weeks. February 14th is the lucky day… all I have to do is show up to reception dress in definitely not white. I was thinking a nice pearl or even black why not? Oh my god I am actually excited about this and as it turns out I am not bugged at all about not having any involvement to my wedding to the most wonderful man I could ever marry.

It only makes me wonder on my stupid decision when I was a teenager. God I could’ve lost him, I am so glad he is mine again. You know what else? I was thinking that maybe I should give him a baby… why not? Yeah I will definitely get knocked up by my fiancé, I know how excited he was about Landon who turned out to not be his.

It makes me wonder if Sharon knew all along and just wanted to take the risk because she knew she was better off with Alex than whoever the real father of her son is. It only makes me wonder… I can see myself getting huge as I carry Alex’s baby. Ok I am officially on a mission to get pregnant.

Have I mentioned mother acted a little different toward me today? Yeah I guess whatever Alex told her made her feel a little guilty she actually kissed me and hugged. It was a milestone for her I am sure… she didn’t mention anything about Alex being there though. I did catch her and Ricky eyeing my left hand though, I assumed they did see my ring. I might try again and ask her to be at the wedding she is my mother and I love her. Ok I have to go Alex just walked in.

Mattie

********

“Hey,” Alex said smiling as he saw Mattie put away her journal. “I brought you this,” he handed her a glass. “Rum and coke,” he told her as she smelled it.

“Thank you… I just didn’t want to drink any of Heather’s “caught in the act” drinks. Those fuck you up,” she said taking a drink.

“I am ready when you are,” Alex said as he leaned in and kissed her smiling as he tasted the rum and coke on her lips.

“Mhmmm, ok.” Mattie said standing up grabbing her purse. “Let’s go,” she said she saw Alex take a drink out of her glass. “Hey I thought that was for me,” she told him playfully.

“There’s plenty more from where that came from stingy,” Alex said pulling her to him kissing her.

She had gasped at Alex’s sudden action and now she was sitting on the desk her legs around Alex’s waist. She moaned as Alex bit her lip lightly before kissing her again. “We should go,” Mattie said panting.

“Yeah you should!” Heather said with her hands crossed as she made a face. “You two need a room,” she said laughing a little. “Well then I guess you will be extra happy to know that I won’t go home tonight… Nick and I have plans.” She winked at Mattie and walked back out.

“Even better,” Alex said picking up Mattie and setting her back on the floor. “Let’s get going.”

Mattie laughed as she got her purse and chugged her drink putting the empty glass down. “You’re driving.” Mattie said.

“My car,” Alex said pulling out his keys… “We can pickup you car tomorrow.”

Mattie nodded and gladly took his hand walking up to the bar. “Hey Nick,” She said smiling when she saw Nick playing pool with another guy.

“Mattie? I didn’t know you were here,” Nick said as he went to hug her.

“Yeah I was waiting on Alex.” Mattie said hugging him back, “I’ll see you later take good care of my girl ok.” She said as they eyed Heather who was busy fixing a drink.

Nick only grinned and turned a shade of red. “Of course… you’re leaving?”

“Yep… bye.” She said when she felt Alex tug her along.

Once inside the car Mattie began to chuckle as she looked at Alex. “What was that? You almost pulled my arm out of my socket. Please don’t tell me your still jealous of Nick.” She rolled her eyes and began to laugh when she saw the look on Alex’s face.

“Well because I know Nick settled with your best friend because he could not get you. I still see how he looks at you and that’s why he doesn’t talk to me either…” Alex said not finding Mattie amusing at all.

“Awe babe you have to let it go…” Mattie said leaning in to kiss him.

“Ok I’ll let it go for now just I can’t concentrate on kissing and driving at the same time babe,” Alex said pulling away.

“Your right,” Mattie said sitting back and putting her seatbelt back on. She smirked at Alex who seemed be more than ready to get home.

An hour later Alex and Mattie were at her house Cleo on a leash smelling away, “She can smell Rocky,” Mattie told Alex as she opened the door laughing as Alex struggled with Cleo on the leash.

“Yep she can,” Alex as he pulled on the leash and quickly unlatch the leash Cleo running free. Alex started laughing when Cleo backed away at Rocky’s bark. She was scared of Rocky a dog smaller than her.

“Awe poor Cleo she is scared of Rocky,” Mattie said picking up Rocky. “No Rocky bad Rocky this is your sister you have to love her.”

“My god Cleo he’s about the size of you paw and your scared of him,” Alex said petting her only to get a whine from her. “He won’t do anything to you.” Alex assured her. Alex looked up and gave Mattie a sly smile, “Now why don’t we let them too get acquainted?”

Mattie smiled and put Rocky down, “Ok I just hope Cleo doesn’t eat him…” she said and giggled when Cleo ran to hide from Rocky.

“It might be the other way around,” Alex said as he went up to her and kissed her. He picked her and began to walk toward their room now. “So we have the house to ourselves nothing can interrupt us.” He said smiling as Mattie discarded her shirt.

“No interruptions.” She nodded as she leaned down and kissed him only pulling away when she fell on the bed. She giggled as Alex proceeded to take her shoes off…

**********

Mattie squirmed a little when she felt Alex’s beard on her lower back as he kissed his way up. “Ok I’m up,” she said opening one eye she was going to turn but Alex stopped her as he continued his kisses. She moaned as she felt his lips on her body. “Alex,” she managed to say as he continued his assault.

“I love you…” he said as he finally turned her and was not facing her with a smile playing on his face. “Good morning by the way.” He said as he began to kiss her neck.

“A very good morning indeed.” She said arching as his touches got more sensual. “I guess we are continuing what we start last night?” she asked as her hands found his shoulders.

“I’m planning on not leaving this room today… god knows when we will have such quality time again.” He said as his tong dipped into her bell button.

“Not even to eat?” Mattie asked she was feeling a little hungry but soon forgot. “Ok never mind…” she moaned as she got drawn back to the task at hand.

*****

“I’m exhausted,” Mattie said yawning as she and Alex watched TV with Cleo and her new found friend Rocky not far.

“I feel great,” Alex said leaning to kiss her. “I can’t wait for you to be my wife.”

Mattie smiled and then she stared at him, “what would you say if I told you I’m pregnant?”

Alex froze for a few seconds and turned to look at her. “I’d be surprised but happy.” He said eyeing her curiously.

“I’m not,” she told him scooting over to him she rested her chin on his shoulder. “I want to be though…” she continued as she kissed his cheek. “I want to have a baby with you… I want to experience pregnancy and give you a son or daughter.”

Alex sighed and turned to where they were now facing each other. “When can we start?” he arched his brow as a smile formed in his face. “Really you would mind getting fat and you felt swelling? Not that I wouldn’t pamper you or anything. I will be there every step of it…” he stopped talking when Mattie’s mouth captured his. The next thing he knew was that his shirt had just come off and Mattie was straddling him…

“Hey,” Nick said popping into Mattie’s classroom.

“Oh hey Nick,” Mattie said smiling as she stopped grading the papers in front of her.

“I was just passing by and saw that you were still in here.” He said smiling at her.

“Yeah I have to finish grading today because I am leaving out of town for the weekend. I am going to see my brother in Orlando give him the invitation to my wedding.” Mattie said blushing a little as she looked at the diamond ring in her left hand.

“Orlando…nice you going to Disney?” he asked.

“Yeah Alex wants us to go with Evelyn since we are going to be over there anyways.” Mattie said smiling at the mention of her fiancé.

“I’m glad you’re happy.” Nick said smiling at her. “You really do deserve to be happy. Listen,” he cleared his throat. “I want to ask you something, I was thinking and I wanted to ask Heather to move in with me but I don’t know if I should do you think she will?”

Mattie chuckled and then smiled, “I think she is more than ready to do such step. You know she has definitely changed since you two...you know.” Mattie said.

********

Mattie sighed as she walked into the restaurant smiling when Brian saw her. “Hey is Leighanne here?” she asked.

“Yep in the back,” Brian said walking up to her and hugging her. “Have cold feet yet?” he asked as he hugged her.

“No not yet,” Mattie said hugging him back.

“Mattie,” Leighanne said walking out. She hugged her too, “Glad you came I just want you to see the flower arrangements I picked. I took pictures come on.” She said taking her hand and pulling her to the back of the restaurant where the office was.

“Brian when Alex gets here just tell him we’re in the back.” Mattie said as she followed Leighanne.

“I will.” Brian said as he chuckled and went back to work.

*******

“How was work?” Alex asked bringing Mattie back from her trance.

“Good I finished grading everything so I don’t have to worry about it this weekend.” She said as she continued to eye the invitation in her hand. It was very simple yet very elegant the ivory and black blending in perfectly.

“They came out nice huh? Only Leighanne could pull that off in such short notice.” He said as he eyed her hands. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her cheek, “you ok?”

“Yeah, it’s just I’m nervous I don’t know how I am going to ask Sean to walk me down the isle.” Mattie biting her lip as she laughed nervously.

“It will be fine babe I am sure he will be honored. I am sure your mother has already told him about the wedding either way. I am scared he might hate me for telling your mother off.” Alex said taking her hand in his as he drove toward his future mother in law’s house to pick up Evelyn.

******

January 14, 2011
Time: 6:00pm
Location: In Alex’s car barely leaving Clewiston our destination? Orlando.
Emotion: Nervous…

Everything is happening so quick, I can’t believe Leighanne already has the invitations and the place. I still am procrastinating on the dress. Alex isn’t pressuring me either but he has asked me twice if I have found one. I know I will find it soon… maybe in Orlando I will.

I have this wedding coming and I know I said I liked the idea having no say in it. I do but, it seems Leighanne still seems to find a way for me to agree or give my opinion on the wedding. She has been on the phone non stop with Anna Lee who is I think more excited them me about this wedding. Maybe I should have told Alex to just pick day for us to head to Las Vegas and elope.

Yeah elope, that way I won’t have time to think and have the feeling of running away. I do love Alex and I know I have always had profound feelings for him but yet my stubborn and rebel side tells me I am moving to fast. I am fucking thirty though I think its about time I settle. Besides if I am going to get knocked up by Alex it would be more morally right for us to be married, make it official in everyone’s eyes.

I sound harsh sometimes don’t I? Crap… Maybe its just the pre wedding jitters and then I am stressing because I have been secretly going crazy with home pregnancy tests. Nothing. So far nothing I know its soon but still I bet if I would have been seventeen and having unprotected sex with Alex I would have gotten knocked up on the first try just my type of luck. But now that I want to its just taking for ever…ok maybe I am exaggerating there. I mean we’ve only been having sex non stop all this week. Well we’re not at work and stuff.
God I really need to calm down yet what if I can’t get pregnant? What if my eggs are no longer good? I probably took to long in deciding to get pregnant and now my eggs are worth shit. I am really loosing it here and now that I am actually here writing this I am now panicking I don’t have a DRESS! Not that I want an over the top Cinderella dress…nope not me. I just want something simple and that describes me.

Alex loves me for who I am and I bet he wouldn’t care if my dress was black. Its not like I could wear white that would be one heck of a big lie…we won’t go there. I guess I could ask my brother’s wife to help me by going shopping with me in Orlando. I am sure I can find something there. Maybe I should go Alex keeps looking at me with curious eyes. Man I have to make sure he NEVER gets a hold of you. (Note to self once every page is full I will burn you.)

Mattie.

PS sorry but all evidence must be destroyed.

******

“About time,” Alex said smiling at his fiancée who finally had put away her journal. “You feeling better?”

“Yeah…that helped.” She lied as she looked behind her to see a sleeping Evelyn.

“Maybe I should try to do one of those.” Alex said giving her a lopsided smile. “Hey do you want to write your own vows?”

Mattie’s eyes went wide at his question, “Our own vows? Isn’t it to late I mean will you be able to come up with your vows with only weeks to our wedding?” she asked hoping he would panic and scratch that idea off.

“I already have it in here,” Alex said pointing to his head and then heart. “I told you Mattie I been ready to marry for so long I’ve had enough time to perfect what I would tell you that day while you are in front of me…”

Mattie felt her heart skip a beat, Alex was so romantic sometimes. She loved him even more for that, “Ok,” Mattie said leaning in to kiss him and giggled when he sort of swirled. “Ok maybe I’ll kiss you later.”

“Yeah good idea… so we will say our own vows.” His smile widen as he concentrated on the road.

******

“Uncle Sean,” Evelyn said as she hopped off the SUV and into her uncle’s arms.

“Hey sweets,” Sean said trying not to get emotional as she saw her. She was looking like Emmy everyday even more. “Why don’t you go inside your cousins are waiting for you and they have a very late birthday present for you.”

“Ok,” Evelyn said running in.

“Hey,” Mattie said as she walked up to him. She sighed as she felt his embrace, “How are you?”

“Good you know working like always. Why don’t you tell Alex to get off no need for you to have him wait. Mom told me about him going over to ask for you hand.” He chuckled and that’s all it took for Mattie to know he was fine with it.

She waved Alex to get off and he did, “He loves you for standing up to mom.” Mattie told Alex as he walked up to them.

“Yeah, I do.” Sean said as he extended his hand to Alex and then surprised him by giving him a hug. “So you finally got her to marry you… eleven years later but hey you finally got her.”

Alex nodded and laughed nervously, “Patience is a virtue.”

“Hey my props to you for that…so when is this wedding?” Sean asked as he opened the door for them to go in.

“Actually that’s why we came…” Mattie said as she entered his house. She smiled as she could hear her sister in law hard at work in the kitchen. “It smells delicious!” she yelled and smiled when she heard a thank you.

“Ok well spill it already.” Sean said as he took a seat on his lazy boy seat. He smiled as Mattie and Alex took the love seat.

“First,” Mattie said taking out the invitation and handing it to him. She smiled as she watched her brother open it and read it. She turned red when he saw his eyes pop.

“That’s in a few weeks…wow.” Sean said looking up at them. “But, I’ll make the arrangements needed to be there.”

“Yeah about that,” Mattie said turning redder… “I wanted to ask you to walk me down the isle? It would mean the world to me if you did...”

“Gosh Mattie I’m honored but wouldn’t Ricky be a better choice he is the eldest.”

“Ricky hates me and he hates Alex, come on Sean please.” Mattie said a little hurt by his answer.

“I would love to walk you down the isle Mattie. Count me in…” he said as he saw how important this was for Mattie.

“Do you know if mom is going?” Mattie asked curiously.

“I don’t know she never says much to me about you unless she wants to get me to be mad at you. Did you send her an invitation?”

“Yes we did.” Alex said as he took Mattie’s hand in his. She looked sad he understood her though that was her mother no matter what.

“Hey!” Tanya said walking in and going straight to hug Mattie and then Alex. “Congratulations when is the wedding?”

“Valentines day,” Sean said smiling at his wife.

“Wow so soon, I can’t wait… well come on now lets go eat I made dinner because Sean told me you were coming. He didn’t tell me your fiancé was coming that’s a surprise he’s very handsome.” She said smiling at Alex.

“I’m right here Tanya,” Sean said jokingly. Everyone laughed as the walked to the dinner table.

Maybe everything was going to be fine…

It was past midnight when they arrived back to Clewiston. Mattie had a smile on her face as she looked at Alex beside her and her niece in the back fast asleep. “We should just take Evelyn with us its pretty late,” she said as she muffled a yawn.

“I had already decided on that,” Alex told her giving her small smile. “I had a blast, didn’t you?”

“Yeah Sean is my favorite brother,” Mattie said as she had a flashback of there visit to Orlando. “Orlando is a beautiful place.”

“Yeah,” Alex said as they passed Clewiston city limits and were nearing Bell Glade. “My mother is coming…she is actually arriving at Palm Beach this Wednesday.”

“Your mother?” Mattie said trying to picture her in her head. She had not seen Denise in a very long time but what she did remember was that she was a very nice lady. Denise had liked her when she was dating Alex back in the day. “Is she going to be staying with us?”

“Well since my house hasn’t sold yet I was going to have her stay there, but if you want we can have her stay with us if its ok with you I mean. My mom loves you always had… when I called her and told her about our wedding she sighed; then she said that it was about time.” Alex said eyeing his fiancée suspiciously she didn’t look to happy about it not that he didn’t understand her.

“I’ve always liked your mom she was a very nice lady. I just haven’t seen her in a very long time.” Mattie said smiling nervously and she wanted to tell Alex not to do this to her but the truth was she should try to warm up to her again. “I can fix Heather’s room for her since Heather is going to be moving in with Nick.”

Alex began to laugh and his eyes widen in surprise, “Really when did this happen? Heather moving in with Nick I mean.”

********

Alex came back from putting Evelyn in her bed and found Mattie staring at the box with her wedding dress. “Hey,” Alex said walking up behind her.

“Hey,” Mattie said jumping in surprise and grabbed the box. “You can’t see it till the wedding day.” She told him when he chuckled at her actions.

“Mattie we are definitely not a traditional couple so please don’t tell me this. But, I will respect your wish and not look or take a peak till I see it on you on February 14.” He told her as he wrapped his arms around her waist as he kissed her shoulder.

“Let me put this away,” she told him as she felt her spine shiver at his touch. She chuckled at his pout as she pulled away to put away her dress in the closet. She could not wait to show off her dress it was not a huge gown and it definitely wasn’t something a regular bride would wear but she had liked it and the colors were very her. It wasn’t white it was champagne with black and it fell to her knees. She smiled as she remembered how she had felt when she had tried it on.

“What are you smiling about?” Alex asked as she came back to him with a smile on her face.

Mattie shrugged a little and kissed him instead taking him by surprise when she found the hem of his shirt. She began to pull it up, “Nothing I’m just happy at this moment.” She finally told him as they parted just enough to take his shirt off.

“I’m happy too…and it looks like I am going to get happier.” He chuckled as his mouth made its way down her neck. “We have to be extra quiet though because Evelyn is here.” He murmured as he began to remove her shirt.

Mattie only nodded and moaned softly as she wrapped her hands around his neck. She gladly kissed him back when his lips met hers again. She felt his hands reach for the clasp of her bra and then it was gone and now lay on the floor with the shirts. “Let’s make a baby…” she told him as she began to unbutton his pants.

Alex laughed a little and stopped kissing her, “I am feeling used now,” he said as he watched her work at removing his pants.

Mattie smiled at him, “You know I love you very much and making a baby is just a bonus.” She told him as she kissed his neck and then his shoulders.

Alex only moaned and his hands found the button to her pants as well. “I love you more,” he told her as he took her in his arms and laid her back down on the bed as he removed her pants. “Wait maybe we should lock the door,” he said as he turned to look at the door knob.

Mattie began to laugh as she watched her fiancé walk away to lock the door. “A little paranoid there aren’t we?” she asked him as he came back smiling at her. She stopped laughing though when she felt his hands on her again…

*********

“Hey Alex wake up,” Evelyn said as she patted Alex on the shoulder. He looked very uncomfortable on the big couch. “You can go sleep in the room already, aunt Mattie and I are heading to school.” She told Alex who was bald up on the couch.

Alex moaned and opened one eye to see the little freckled girl staring at him with a smile. She had a tooth missing right in the front, “Ok I’m up.” He said stretching feeling the pain in his muscles from sleeping on the couch.

“Look it came off while I was brushing my teeth…” Evelyn said showing off her gap.

“I see, make sure to put it under your pillow for the tooth fairy.” Alex said patting Evelyn’s head as he stood up. He smiled as he saw is fiancée coming toward them.

“Good morning,” Mattie said smiling at him as well. “How did you sleep?”

“Eh,” Alex said shrugging as he looked over to Evelyn who was watching them. “Did you sleep good Evelyn?”

“Yep my aunt told me I sleep like a baby. Plus I didn’t see any monsters either, I think they only live in my room.” Evelyn said as she picked up Rocky from the floor.

“I’m going to go freshen up real quick don’t leave yet,” Alex told his fiancée as he patted her shoulder as he walked away disappearing into the room he was suppose to share with her only when Evelyn wasn’t there apparently he began to chuckle as he remembered the events from last night he had just locked the door. He had just busied himself with Mattie again when a knock on the door interrupted them, Evelyn was crying as she banged the door.

Mattie smiled as she saw him disappear and felt bad for him. He had to sleep on the couch because Evelyn had gotten a nightmare and did not want to sleep alone. He had been very comprehensive though and without her even telling him he had grabbed a blanket. He had kissed her good night and had walked to the living room to sleep.

“Aunt Mattie could I have bagel? I’m hungry…” Evelyn said interrupting her aunt.

“I thought we were going to stop at McDonalds.” Mattie said smiling at her.

“We will but I still want a bagel with strawberry cream cheese!” Evelyn said pulling her aunt toward the kitchen.

“Ok a bagel it is.” Mattie said as they made it to the kitchen.

Five minutes later Evelyn sat at the table eating her bagel while Mattie made one for her. She smiled when she saw Alex walk in looking a lot better, “Want one?”

“Mhmm,” Alex nodded as he walked up to her and catching her by surprise when he kissed her.

“Eww,” Evelyn said giggling.

Mattie blushed and cleared her throat, “You eat your bagel.” She told Evelyn not being able to keep a straight face. “We have to leave soon, or I will be late to work and you to school missy.”

Alex only laughed as he got himself a glass of orange juice. He stood beside Mattie and leaned into her ear. “You owe me…” he whispered into her ear as his hand wrapped around her waist.

“Later,” She whispered as she kissed him before handing him his bagel. “I have to go. Ready?” Mattie asked Evelyn.

“Yes let’s go!”

“Don’t forget about your tooth,” Alex said before taking a drink from his glass.

********

“Ok I am here,” Mattie said as she finally walked into Leighanne’s house.

“Good, how was work?” Leighanne said with a smile on her face.

“I love my job, everything is good. So what was so important I had t come right away?” Mattie asked she looked through the wedding arrangements Leighanne had laid out on her living room.

“well besides needing your approval on this, what do you think of the centerpieces?” Leighanne asked.

“They are nice… I know you will do a great job. I found my dress.” Mattie said subtly as she looked at the centerpiece.

“Ooooh really can I see it?” Leighanne’s face lit up.

“Yeah I can bring down tomorrow and maybe keep it here to make sure Alex won’t peak?”

“Yeah that’s sound fine. Now I want to share something with you…” Leighanne said biting on her lip as she took Mattie’s hand and pulled her down toward the master bedroom.

“Ok your scaring me,” Mattie said as Leighanne made her stop as she disappeared into the master bathroom and came back out smiling even more. Her hands were behind her back as she stared at her.

“I’m pregnant,” Leighanne said jumping a little as she showed off the pregnancy test to Mattie.

Mattie felt her throat dry and she felt happy she did. She cleared her throat and smiled as she hugged Leighanne. “Congratulations.” She said trying not to sound bitter but she did feel bitter Leighanne was pregnant, she wanted to be pregnant. Why was she not getting pregnant, she had been trying too. “How long have you been trying?” she asked her.

“Oh we really weren’t trying it just happened. I haven’t told Brian yet but I plan too tonight,” Leighanne gushed.

“Well I am happy for you…” Mattie said as she began to find away to leave she wasn’t happy anymore. She knew she shouldn’t feel like this toward her friend’s happiness.

“Cleo stop!” Mattie said laughing as she saw the soapy dog run after Evelyn.

“Ew Cleo your wet,” Evelyn said giggling as Cleo licked her face. “Grandma?” Evelyn said as stared toward the street. A black Buick was parking.

“What is she doing here?” Mattie said a little surprised to see her mother. She took Cleo away from Evelyn and put her back on the leash. She hosed her down till she had no soap and Evelyn was up again jumping as she also got wet.

“Having fun sweetie?” she heard her mother ask Evelyn.

“Yes grandma! I love helping Aunt Mattie shower our dogs. What are you doing her grandma?” Evelyn asked as she walked toward her.

“I wanted to come by and talk to your auntie,” she said as she eyed her daughter. “Mattie we need to talk.”

“Fine,” Mattie said as she handed Evelyn a towel. “Evelyn go inside and put on some dry clothes.” She told her niece who pouted but obeyed. “Don’t let Rocky out,” she said as she saw her toward the door. “Ok talk,” Mattie said crossing her arms.

“I know you are angry me for everything I’ve caused, but you have to understand where I am coming from Mattie. I am a very precautious person and…” she stopped talking and swallowed hard. This was actually harder than she had thought it to be. “Nice ring,” she finally spoke as she the silver engagement ring on her left hand.

Mattie gazed down to her left hand and looked at the ring on her finger. “I know you did not come here to talk about my ring. To my knowledge you didn’t give a damn about my engagement.” She said bitterly finally finding a way to hide her ring.

“I do give a damn,” she said staring at her daughter. “I give a damn about everyone,” she sighed heavily. “Listen I know that since your father’s death I changed and sort of inclined my mother duties to your siblings that live here still. I know that was not right and trust me I am trying to work on that.”

“Good I hope you can overcome that, because whether you like it or not I love you. I don’t hate you either I just prefer to stay away from you. Mom I know I haven’t been the easiest child, but I can assure you that I still have my priorities set. Marriage was just put to the side when I left Florida.” Mattie said after hearing her mother. She felt sort of guilty about the way her mother was talking; it was not only her fault.

“I don’t want you to stay away from me Mattie. I love you too and that is why I came here.” She said breaking down and began to cry. She pulled out a yellow envelope from her purse and handed it to Mattie. “Here I wanted to personally give you this.”

“What is it?” Mattie asked taking it and right away opening it. She began to read it as her mother wiped away the tears coming down her face. “Mom…” Mattie whispered as tears began to fill her eyes. “Thank you.” She finally said and hugged her mother.

“You are going to be a great mother and I know Evelyn is in good hands. I just didn’t want to accept it then… I practically helped your sister raise her, I just assumed I would be the one to get custody of Evelyn, but right now when I saw how you are with Evelyn I understand why she chose you.”

“Mom… thank you so much.” Mattie said still hugging her.

“I can keep her though while Alex and you go on your honeymoon.”

“I don’t think we really have a honeymoon planned.” She told her mother.

********

“Alex!” Evelyn squealed as she ran to him. “Guess what?”

“What?” Alex asked as he carried her in her arms.

“I am going to stay with Aunt Mattie, forever!” she smiled as she took his sunglasses and put them on her.

“Yeah you are we are going to win this case,” Alex said laughing at her. “Nice you will make one pretty little Diva!”

“No silly my grandma just told Aunt Mattie she could keep me!” she said as she squirmed out of his grip and ran toward the back of the house.

Alex was a little confused with what Evelyn had said and so he followed her. He smiled as he saw Mattie and Louise Benson sitting in the lounge chairs laughing. He smiled as he saw Mattie's smile it was full of true happiness, he slowly walked toward the glass sliding doors.

“Mom you shouldn’t have, these are yours.” Mattie said as she looked at the black star sapphire earrings her mother had since she could remember. They had been in the family since back in the forties.

“None of your other sister’s will appreciate them as you would. I know your taste enough to know that you will wear them with pride and you will work them.”

Mattie laughed at her mother and looked at the earrings, “they will look perfect with my wedding gown.” She stopped talking when she saw Alex smiling as he watched her mother and her talking. “Alex,” she said smiling wider.

“Hey sweet heart,” Alex said walking up to her. He leaned down and kissed her softly and then he extended his hand to his future mother in law. “Mrs. Benson.”

“Alex nice to see you,” Louise said smiling at him.

“My mother came to give me this,” Mattie said handing him the envelope with the papers where her mother annulled her pursue to keep Evelyn in her custody and gave sole custody to Mattie.

“Yeah?” Alex said as he pulled out the papers and began to read. “Wow, thank you Mrs. Benson this is very modest of you. You have made Mattie and me happy; we do love Evelyn very much.”

“I know,” Louise said smiling at him warmly. “I owe an apology as well Alex for my rude behavior the other day.”

“It’s nothing I don’t even remember.” Alex said with a sincere tone. “I’ll leave you two to finish talking. I’ll be in the room,” He told Mattie winking at her as he shook Mrs. Benson’s hand one more time. “Oh and Mrs. Benson we hope to see you at the wedding.” He said before he walked inside.

*********

January 16, 2011
Time: 10:00pm
Location: my bedroom.
Emotion: content

Hi there so today has been one great day. My mother has given up on Evelyn she has stopped the whole custody battle. Evelyn is mine just like Emmy had intended it to be. Of course my mother has every right to see her whenever she wants. I am in a state of euphoria right now.

It feels like everything in my life is finally snapping back together the way it was suppose to be. I have a feeling that tonight we are making a baby as well. I wonder how everything went with Leighanne and her surprise. I know both her and Brian deserve this and I do have to admit I was a little harsh for even getting jealous at her.

But, I know I will get pregnant I just have keep being optimistic. Right now I am only going to bask on what I have gotten so far. I have a wonder fiancé who loves me and a very cute daughter. My mother is back in my life in a good way, so I know soon everything will be fine.

Have I mentioned to you that Nick and Heather have officially moved in together? I know? I would have never thought Heather would actually settle, but Nick is good for her. To think she had tried to sleep with my man!
Darn I have to go, we have to take advantage of a second we get to be alone. We want to make a baby here, so right now that Evelyn is fast asleep is the best time. I will talk to you later.

PS: Only thirty days till I become Mrs. McLean. Ooh talking about her, she will be here soon. I hope she still likes me.

Mattie.

February 12, 2011
Time: 1:00pm
Location: My mother’s house having a cookout.
Emotion: nervous yet happy?

I have very little time to write but I think its time I updated you on the chaos that has enveloped my family and me. It turns out that my mother got in on the wedding planning with Leighanne and my Anna Lee.

She also did this cookout slash gathering for Alex and me. It was a surprise and the food is delicious. I am happy to see that most of my siblings are warming up to Alex again. Of course Sean is the best he hasn’t stopped making comments about how if he would have bet that I would have ended up with Alex he would have won lots of money.

It makes me wonder if all my family knew that Alex was the one for me. I wonder if Emmy knew all along. Emmy… I wonder if she is watching me from wherever she is and is happy for me. I for sure know she is happy I have moved back to the sunshine state.

Anyway all in all I am very excited in exactly a day in half I will be marrying my first love… Alex. First I have to endure this bachelorette party Leighanne and Anna Lee have planned. I hope there are no strippers… I also am curious to see what Brian has planned for Alex he has been very mysterious about where he is taking him, my brothers and of course Nick.

Oh, and FYI I love my future mother in law. She is still the same warm hearted woman I remember from my younger years. Her husband is such a sweet heart too. When she arrived she surprised me with the hug she gave me. We did have our girl to girl talk it was serious and she told me about how my departure affected Alex. I bit my lip to not let her know that he was not the only one that had suffered with her naïve decision.

Crap… I have to go I hear footsteps down the hall. I bet they are looking for me…

Mattie.

********

“I figured you would be in here,” Alex said as he peaked into the room. He walked into the room that still looked the same nothing had changed. “Wow this room looks the same from when I used to sneak up here back in the days.”

“I guess this was all mom had to remind her of me, she must have not wanted to change it.” Mattie said as she put her journal away and stood up from her old bed.

“Brings back old memories…” he said wiggling his eyebrows. He chuckled as Mattie turned a shade of red. He walked up to her and pulled her toward him. “Do you think we can take a walk down memory lane…” he whispered to her as he took her face in his hands and kissed her softly.

“I think we might get caught,” she told him chuckling at his suggestions. “But it does sound very tempting.” She told him as she stepped away and began to walk toward the door only be stopped by Alex’s grip on her wrist.

“I can be very quiet,” he grinned as he pulled her toward him and then guided her toward a wall. “Besides I have gotten lot of practice on putting my pants up quickly with the sounds of Evelyn’s feet going toward our room. I will be on guard.” He chuckled as he heard her chuckle and slapped him slightly on the shoulder.

“Hmm….” She said kissing him softly on the lips. “I have a feeling that at this very moment they are wondering where we are.” She bit his bottom lip.

“I like taking risks if I recall well we took many back in the days.” He gave her smirk as his hands slid to the buttons on her pants. “Come here,” he whispered in a ragged tone as he opened the door to the closet. “No one will find us here… if we are quiet.” He said as he closed the door behind them.

Mattie smiled as she leaned in and kissed him, “why didn’t we think of this option back then?” she asked as she pulled his shirt up.

“Well there’s always a first time for everything…” Alex said before cutting all conversation as he took her mouth with his.

*********

“There you are,” Anna Lee said as she opened the door to her sister’s old room. “Oh Alex is not here with you?” she asked as she walked to find Mattie staring out the window.

“No he is but he’s in the restroom.” Mattie said pointing toward the restroom. She gave her sister a smile.

“Oh my god… eww Mattie.” Anna Lee said in a hushed tone as she looked at her sister. “You didn’t do what I think you did in here did you?”

Mattie turned a darker shade of red, “Of course not…” she lied as she began to fan herself. “My room has always been the stuffy one… why don’t we head out instead.” She said just as Alex got out of the restroom with the same grin she had on her face.

“I am not twelve anymore Mattie you can’t fool me…” was all Anna Lee said as she eyed them. She shuddered and took her sister’s hand, “Now come on mom is watching Evelyn today we are heading to our bachelorette party.” She smiled again.

“Right now?” Mattie asked as she took a hold of Alex’s arm to try and not get pulled out.

“Yes Brian is taking you away too… so come on he has to get to his party too.” Anna Lee said and smiled triumphantly when Mattie obliged.

“I’ll see you later babe,” Alex said kissing her quickly. “Don’t corrupt my fiancée,” he told Anna Lee who only rolled her eyes.

“I think you have done a good job at that already Alex.” She said as they disappeared leaving Alex standing there grinning.

“Ok you can take off your blindfold,” Leighanne said as she let go of Mattie’s hand.

Mattie quickly took off her blindfold and gasped as she saw SS Matilda lit and adorned very nicely. “Wow, how did you get Alex to lend it to you? Without getting suspicious about it?”

“I didn’t Brian did all the work for me, now ladies today is Mattie’s day. I did get some champagne and drinks for you all. I will be the designated driver when we get back if you had too much to drink because well I can’t drink right now.” She said excitedly as her hand landed on her not noticeable bump yet.

“Alright let’s get this party started…” Heather said as she appeared from nowhere with something in hand. She walked straight to Mattie and put on her head it was a veil.

Mattie rolled her eyes as she followed the crowd of girls mostly made up of sister’s and a few friends. She smiled a little she knew she was going to have fun. Yet curiosity got to her as she wondered what Brian had planned for the guys.

********

Alex began to laugh as he saw where they were. “No we are not Brian.” He said as he was handed a flashlight.

They were standing in the parking lot of the one and only Clewiston High School. “Why not we used to do it back in the day… remember when we snuck in and put itching powder in Max’s gym clothes and football helmet?” Brian said laughing.

“Yeah that son of bitch had it coming from me… but what are we doing here?” Alex asked curiously as he eyed Nick and then the rest of guys with them.

“Ok so as you know I am good friends with the janitor so I got access earlier today to hide something’s around that we will need for the real party so I made these,” he handed everyone a paper with a list. “We are splitting up in two groups and the first to find everything will find the car with the directions to where the party will take place. The loosing group will then ride bikes to the place where there is a big surprise for you…” he told Alex.

“Wait didn’t they say that this High School is haunted?” Sean said as he eyed the school.

“Please don’t tell me you are afraid?” Nick said grinning as he saw the list. “We need to find handcuffs? For what?”

“Ok enough we have a hunt to start since I am the best man I will pair up with Alex, Nick, and Sean.” Brian said as he gave them each a white shirt and the other four a black one.

“Wait so are the doors open for us to just walk in?” someone asked as they began to walk toward the school.

“Nope you have to find a way in, good luck guys.” Brian said as he took the flashlight from Alex’s hand and began to run to the side of the building.

“Wait for us,” Alex said as he followed his friend. “I can’t believe this is my bachelor party. I was expecting a party at the bar a stripper or two. Not having to squeeze my ass through this window.” He said as he saw Brian finally managing to open the window.

“Oh come on you’ll have fun…” Brian grinned as he pointed to the window. “Grooms first.”

*********

“Ok your home,” Leighanne said as she helped Mattie out of her car. “Easy there your pretty wasted.”

Mattie giggled as she held to Leighanne, “I’m getting married…” she told her.

“Yep you are,” Leighanne said as she helped her open the door. “I don’t think Alex is here yet do you want me to stay with you till then?”

“Yesss,” Mattie said a she walked into her house. “Maybe it’s too early for us to be back.” She said as she read the clock on the wall. “It’s only twelve forty five.”

“Yeah and you are wasted,” Leighanne said laughing at her friend. “Now come on lets get you out of those clothes and into something more comfortable.

“No I got a better idea lets go look for the guys… lets see what they are up to.” She said mischievously as she grabbed on to the couch so she wouldn’t fall.

Leighanne groaned, “See I told Anna the tequila shot game was not a good idea… you got ten of fifteen questions about your future husband wrong. Now here you are wasted and wanting to go spy on your fiancé’s bachelor party.”

“For your information… I did know the answers but what can I say I like tequila.” Mattie giggled again “So are you coming or I will go on my own.”

“Wait,” Leighanne said as she answered her phone. “Brian?”

“Ask him where they are at.” Mattie asked giggling.

“I’m on my way… err with a very drunk Mattie. Is my husband ok?” she asked Alex as she took Mattie’s hand.

********

“I’m sorry Alex we ended up ruining your party.” Brian said as he lay in the bed.

“It’s ok I had fun and I’m glad it was only your foot.” Alex said smiling. “But only you think your fifteen.”

“I wanted to feel like back in high school how was I supposed to know I would end up breaking my fibula. I won’t try that again though. I want a blue cast do you think the doctor will let me?” he asked with a smile even though he was in pain.

Alex only laughed and shook his head. “Leighanne is on the way with my fiancée…”

“Oh good my wife is coming so she can take care of me.” Brian said.

“Do you think you can still stand by me at the wedding?” Alex asked as he took a seat.

“Yes I am not going to miss this for the world. You finally tying the not and with your high school sweetheart its epic.”

“How is he?” Leighanne asked as she walked in with a worried face.

“Honey… I broke my fibula trying to do a slam dunk.” He said as he reached for her with his hands.

“You played basketball for your party?” Leighanne asked she walked toward him.

“Oh that sounds boring,” said a giggling Mattie as she walked in.

“Oooh she is drunk.” Brian said as he saw Mattie. “No it was part of a contest I had going on till I broke my fibula… I like that word or is terminology?”

“Mattie here let me take you home.” Alex said as he helped Mattie sit. “Will you be ok if I go?” he asked both Brian and Leighanne.

“Yeah go ahead… sorry this didn’t turn out the way I had planned it.” Brian said.

“It’s ok I still had fun.”

“I have to say something,” Sean said as he hugged his sister. “FINALLY!”

Mattie laughed whole heartedly as she fixed her flower. “Finally.” She repeated as she looked at him. “I still can run.” She said biting her lip.

“You wouldn’t,” Leighanne said as she hand her the bouquet.

“Yeah I am not letting you run this time… I don’t think I can handle more years of an Emo Alex.” Brian said as he walked in with his crutches he still managed to look good, “Wow you look nice… very you.”

“Thanks that’s the point.” Mattie said turning around to show off her very contemporary dress.

“So I better go I have to be up there with Alex. I can’t wait to see his reaction… the good thing is I will be there to pick his chin up or at least try.” Brian said as he leaned in and hugged her.

*****

Alex hugged his mother as she stood by him. “I am glad she finally came back, I like her.” Denise said kissing her son.

“I know… she is great isn’t she?” Alex said smiling.

“Yes and the ceremony is about to start so I am going to head to my seat. Love you and oh my god I don’t want to cry yet.” Denise said as she wiped the tear that had escaped already.

“Mom that’s impossible you always cry at weddings.” Alex chuckled.

“All right,” Brian said as he walked toward Alex and Denise with his crutches. “She’s coming.”

No sooner had Brian said that when the music began… he smiled as Denise kissed her son one more time before heading to her seat. “Nervous?” he asked Alex who was looking toward where his bride would be coming from.

“No I’ve been waiting for this moment for far too long.” Alex said as he smiled when Evelyn came out in a beautiful dress throwing rose petals.

Then Leighanne and Anna Lee the only bridesmaids came out. He turned and smiled at Brian who was staring at now noticeable baby bump on his wife. “Ok maybe I am a little nervous.” Alex finally whispered before he heard the gasps from the guests.

That’s when he spotted her coming down the isle in the arms of Sean. He took a deep breath, his heart was beating fast. “Wow.”

He felt Brian’s pat on his shoulder, “Yeah very her.”

“I love her… just like she is.” He whispered as he continued to stare at her.

******

“Now the bride and groom will read there vows,” the judge said. “Matilda…” he said looking at Mattie.

Mattie smiled at him and then looked at Alex. “I Mattie Benson FINALLY take you Alexander McLean to be my husband. I promise to be there for you always in the good or bad. I just now realized just how much you mean to me… I have a very strong feeling Emmy helped me find you again. I love you and well I am ready to become old and grumpy by your side.” Mattie said chuckling a little. “I had a much more elaborate speech but after I saw you and my eyes locked with yours I lost any recollection of it, Except for that I love you and I am glad you gave me a second chance.”

Alex chuckled and smiled at Mattie… “Well I knew that if I didn’t write it down I would forget so,” Alex said as he dug through his pocket to pull out a paper. “Here it is.” He said flashing his paper.

He cleared his throat and looked at the paper… “Matilda Benson my Mattie I still remember the face you made that first day of school in homeroom, the face that made me realized you were going to be special to me. I remember the first time I saw you in a dress and I told you looked hot, I got a punch to my stomach, I know that sounds horrible to most of you but that’s when I realized that I was in love with Mattie. My last two years of high school are the best years I remember about my teenage life. While my friends dated a different girl every week I was hung up on you… I remember our first kiss. At one point though I thought I hated you… when you broke up with me right before your graduation. I didn’t loose hopes though because I knew that what we had was real so I let you fly free… my beautiful monarch butterfly left but when I saw you again. I knew you had come back to me. It’s like the phrase goes… where there was a fire the ashes remain. I’ve been ready for this moment and now FINALLY here you are in front of me, so here in front of all these people I want to promise you that I will be here for you. To care for you when your sick, to love you when you need me to, to take care of you economically, to the best father to our kids, and most of all to grow old with you. I love you Mattie now my waiting is over so I am happy to finally say it. I Alexander McLean take you Matilda Benson to be my wife.”

Alex smiled as he wiped the tear that streamed down Mattie’s face. “By the power invested in me by the State of Florida I declare you husband and wife. Mr. McLean you may kiss your wife.” The judge finally said.

Mattie smiled as she leaned up to him closing her eyes as he captured her lips. She could hear the clapping but at that moment all she cared about was the kiss that said so much. “I love you.” She heard Alex tell her as he finally broke the kiss.

*********

“This was some party for a Tuesday.” Alex told Mattie as they waved to the crowd that now walked them to the limo that waited for them.

“Yeah it is.” Mattie said as she stepped into the limo.

“Alex, Aunt Mattie.” Evelyn screamed as she ran up to them. “I wanted to give you this.” She said handing them a paper. It was a drawing, “See this is uncle Alex, you, Rocky, Cleo and me. One big happy family.” She told Mattie. “I can call him Uncle now right?”

“yes,” Mattie said as she stared at the picture. “What’s this?” she asked as she pointed to the stick figure that was supposed to be her.

“Oh that’s a baby bump like the one Leighanne has.” Evelyn said with a smile. “I have to go my grandma said you were in a hurry. “Have a nice honeymoon.” She said kissing her aunt and Alex.

“Well that was interesting.” Mattie said as she handed Alex the drawing.

“That only means we have a lot of work to do during our honeymoon.” He winked at her as he folded the paper. “We will have to do a lot of practice… I mean the kid is practically telling us she wants a brother or sister.”

Mattie laughed as she playfully slapped his arm. “Practice… that sounds fun and we won’t have interruptions.”

“OOOOH so true…” Alex said pulling her onto his laps. “I love you.”

“Me too… so where are you taking me?” she asked before she kissed him.

“Oh you’ll see.” Alex said smiling at her mischievously…