Charlotte checked the window one more time, watching the fluffy puffs of snow fall to the ground. It had been snowing for the better part of the day so she’d been stuck inside. Most people loved this time of year but she most certainly didn’t. Christmas just meant that her house was full of relatives who she barely knew, and barely liked and of course she was in charge of entertaining everyone of her age. Of all of her cousins there was only one other girl, who was five, and the rest were strapping young men who really wanted nothing to do with her save one who despite his shyness would always make the effort to talk with her. 

When Charlotte was five, her Auntie Cecilia and Uncle Richard had moved to America in the hopes that her uncle would be able to find the job of his dreams. He had in fact been successful in his work, but they had been unsuccessful in trying to have a baby. After years of living abroad they decided to adopt an older child. They thought it was too late to be raising a baby, and that there was a child out there waiting for them to take them home. The entire family had suggested that maybe they come back to England before doing anything of the sort because why would they want a child of American blood? Despite the fact that it had been a century since the revolutionary war, her parents and grandparents still had the mindset that all Americans were traitors to the crown, which, essentially, they were, but it was no longer the popular opinion. Cecilia and Richard ignored the peanut gallery, writing them angry letters from England and went forward with their plans, adopting an eight-year-old American boy named Nickolas or Nick as they called him at the orphanage. They couldn’t have been happier and pictures of the new family arrived just months after his arrival in the house. Charlotte’s parents were certain that Richard, who was often quite cheap, must have been excited about their new charge since he was willing to pay for a photo portrait.  

The first time she ever met Nick was Christmas when she was nine years old and she’d seen him every Christmas since then. A tall, lanky blond boy, he was quiet, he kept to himself, and Charlotte couldn’t say she was upset when he left on the three-week journey back to America every year. There was just something about him that rubbed her the wrong way. Maybe it was because he was so quiet, and she never knew what he was thinking. Though he was probably one of the only cousins to speak to her during the holidays, she didn’t always enjoy the conversation.

There were times, especially since she found out what Nick’s plans for college were, when she dreamed that their boat sank on their way back home, and she never felt guilty. She often thought that Nick might enjoy that. Not the sinking boat, but that she had a dream with him in it. He spent most Christmases present and past sitting in front of the fire and writing in his journal or reading books in strange languages. She could never quite understand him. 

“If you look at that window any harder you might just break it.”

Now he was speaking to her, “I’m sorry?” she turned, facing Nick who had walked up behind her, trusty book in hand.

“I said you might just break that window with your stare,” he repeated.

“I was just thinking how I wouldn’t be sad if you died,” Charlotte admitted, straightening the skirt of her dress out as she changed her sitting position.

He did the unexpected and smiled at her, sitting down in the chair next to the window bench she was on, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“Why do you have to come here?” she asked, looking at him curiously. 

“It’s Christmas,” Nick answered with a shrug, putting the small book he was holding in his pocket, “We always come for Christmas.”

“I don’t mean for Christmas. Do they not have schools in America?”

“No,” Nick deadpanned, holding back his laughter as Charlottes eyes widened with shock, “Of course they have schools in America, I’m pulling your leg,” he chuckled.

“Then why don’t you go to one? Why do you have to go to Cambridge?”

“My father went there, so I decided to go there too,” he answered.

“Your father didn’t go there, he probably didn’t even go to school, he’s probably dead or working in a mine somewhere in America,” Charlotte said testily, not guilty when she saw the expression on Nick’s face sour. 

“You’re just jealous that I got accepted to the school that you only wish you could go to,” Nick said, shaking his head at the annoying girl. Every time he’d ever seen her she always used the fact that he was adopted against him, despite his belief that the two people in the other room (who had essentially raised him from eight on) were his parents. 

“I’m not jealous,” she replied, not daring to look at him.

“You are,” he stressed, “I imagine though that if you apply to one of those women’s colleges you might just get in.”

Charlotte angrily looked up with a huff, “I don’t want to go to a mediocre women’s college to learn a few meaningless things to fill the time before I’m married. I want to go to Cambridge!” 

“What do you want to take?” Nick wondered curiously, “I’m guessing that you’ve seen the course listings.”

Charlotte blushed, not sure if she wanted to admit her lifelong goals, “Natural sciences, I want to take natural sciences.”

“That’s an interesting choice; I wouldn’t have figured you for a scientist. What about it interests you?”

Charlotte looked back out the window; feeling Nick’s eyes on her neck as she thought about her answer “See that snow outside? I want to know why it falls and how it falls and what it’s made out of. I have so many questions that learning about cooking and sewing just won’t answer. What are you learning?” she asked, turning back to face him.

“History and Classics,” he answered, “I hope to someday travel around the world and work as an archaeologist. Uncovering hidden treasures and translating lost scriptures...”

“Ugh. You were right,” Charlotte said with a sigh, “I am jealous. You have the whole world in front of you and nothing in your way.”

“You can have that too,” Nick shrugged, “No one is forcing you to cook and sew until you die.”

“Society is, and my parents,” she countered, reaching over to pull the small book from Nick’s pocket. She thumbed through the pages, not understanding a word of it, “You read Latin?”

“Among other things,” he nodded, “Cambridge has very high requirements for prospective students. I was on a waiting list for a year before they would even consider me. I wrote a letter to the Dean of Admissions explaining all the work I’d done preparing for this school, and that given it is my father’s alma mater I didn’t have anywhere else I wanted to go. That part was a lie, I had two other schools lined up but they didn’t need to know that,” he rambled, running a hand through his unruly blonde hair, “The fact that I’m American was a big setback, if it wasn’t for Father I would have never gotten in.”

“You know you have to wear robes all the time and you can’t leave the University after dark, this is a proper English school. No horseplay,” Charlotte informed him and Nick merely chuckled.

“I know... I’m not worried about it. There’s nowhere I need to go after dark,” he shrugged. He could tell that Charlotte was trying to put the place down and make him not want to go, so she could keep her school all to herself, “Look Charlotte, like I said before you don’t have to let anything stand in your way, you can be your own master.”

She rolled her eyes, obviously sceptical, “Right. And how would I do that exactly? Just run away from my home?”

“Yes,” Nick simply answered with a nod, “You could leave, just take all your things and go wherever in the world you wanted to go. You could be a nomad.”

Charlotte sighed and played with her small fingers, wishing that everything he said was really possible, “You’re a dreamer Nick, it’ll never happen. I don’t have any practical skills that would help me be a drifter. I’d end up robbed or killed within the first day.”

He nodded and rubbed his chin, “Okay, that’s fair enough. How about you hop on the train and come visit me at Cambridge some time? At least then you’ll be getting out of the house for a while.”

“I’ve never been on the train,” Charlotte admitted, “I’ve always wanted to but my parents aren’t big on them, they prefer to go by carriage.”

“Well then, going on the train will definitely be an adventure!” he boasted, reaching back for his book to slip into his pocket once again, “Just tell your parents you’re bringing me a care package and I’m sure they’ll be fine with you going to visit your dear old cousin.”

“When do you start school?” Charlotte wondered.

“January,” Nick answered, standing up from his chair, “I was allowed a mid-term entrance because I’m an international student and they didn’t get back to me until it was too late to begin in October.”

“I’ll come visit you in the spring then, when it’s warmer,” she told him now grinning from ear to ear and hoping he would stay alive at least until she got a tour of the school, “We can picnic!” 

Nick smiled back, “I’m looking forward to it.”

Nick mulled over his newest textbook, wanting to have the whole thing read before everyone came back from their short spring break. They didn’t have summers off like some other universities so every few months they’d have a week where they could return home and see their families. Nick had decided that for the exception of Easter and Christmas he would stay at school to catch up on the work he’d missed during first semester. He didn’t have to do that, and the school didn’t expect him to, but he planned on finishing the year at the same time as everyone else. Originally he had wanted to just stay all year including the holidays, there was a chapel at the school after all, but his mother wouldn’t allow it, she wanted him home for the special holidays. 

When Nick had chose to come to England for school his parents also decided not to return to America. They had packed everything up and moved home to England so they could be closer to Nick while he studied, so there was no way his mother was letting him stay there when he could be at home. He felt like his parents were a lot happier in England where they were closer to their families, and around people who spoke and acted just as they did. They hadn’t been as successful in the states as they had let on and the yearly trips back home had put them into serious debt, all to make it seem as if they were doing so well. His father had almost the same job now that they were back, no different from the one he was working before, but he would never let anyone know that truth. 

His thoughts were interrupted when there was a soft knocking on the door of his dorm room. Nick got out of his seat and grabbed a jacket to put on before he opened the door. During normal school times undergraduates and junior fellows (essentially rich students who were given fancy titles and privileges) were required to wear their school robes at all times. During breaks though only a suit and tie were required. 

Nick swung open the door, smiling at the person at the other side, “Yes?”

“You have a visitor,” the man from the dorm’s front desk replied, “They’re waiting for you outside.”

“Outside?” Nick asked, looking at the other man strangely. They’d never asked his guests to wait outside; there was a sitting room on the ground floor.

The older man nodded, “Yes sir, no women allowed in the building.”

A smile immediately spread across Nick’s face, “Thank you,” he said, moving past the other man to quickly walk down the hall and stairs towards the front door. He took a deep breath as the air hit his face and he looked both ways for his visitor, spying her reading a plaque on the wall of the building.

“You came!” he grinned from ear to ear as he approached her. 

“You told me to,” Charlotte smiled back, swinging a basket on her arm. 

“When I got your last letter it didn’t seem like you were too sure about coming,” he admitted. Since he had left for school he and Charlotte had suddenly developed a friendship and had taken to corresponding through letters. He had thought it slightly peculiar that after years of avoidance his cousin had suddenly taken to him. She had been asking him all sorts of questions about his life, his school in America, and about how he was doing now like it was the first time she had ever met him rather than the first time she’d ever been interested. 

“Well, I’m here,” she shrugged, “I brought us some lunch.”

“Fantastic, I was getting kind of hungry actually. Why don’t we go for a walk and find some place to eat?” he suggested.

“Why don’t we stay here?”

Nick looked around them, “I need to get out of here for a while everything is stone, I need to see some grass.”

“But,” Charlotte whined slightly, “I want to see the school!” 

“And you will,” he assured her, leading her back towards the entrance to the town that housed the university and it’s colleges, “After we eat.”

“Fine,” she reluctantly agreed following him down the sidewalk, “but you’re carrying the basket. I had to carry it all this way.”

“That’s alright with me,” Nick said, taking it out of her hands. When he put the basket on his arm Charlotte reached into it, taking out the local newspaper.

“A nice man gave me his paper on the train,” she explained as they walked, turning to the last page she’d been reading, “Have you heard about the latest murder in London? It’s all over the paper. I had heard my father mention this whole Jack the Ripper business but I had never gotten to actually read the papers. It’s very interesting.”

“You should not be reading about that,” Nick told her, taking the paper back from her so quickly the pages rippled. He saw a picture of a dead woman on the front page and shook his head, “That’s not something you should have ever seen.”

“Why?”

“Because...” Nick stuttered, putting the paper back into the basket, “Girls your age shouldn’t be reading about and seeing pictures of dead whores.”

Charlotte’s shoulders stiffened, “They were people too.”

“No, they were whores,” Nick dismissed, waving her off. He had of course seen the papers and all the pictures that accompanied the articles and even he found some of the descriptions to be slightly disturbing, he couldn’t imagine how a naive mind like Charlotte’s could handle such things. He always felt if they were going to ban a woman from anything it should be reading the newspaper. They didn’t need to know about the horrors that went on while they were safely asleep in bed. 

“I don’t see it your way,” Charlotte spoke up.

Nick shrugged, “You don’t see too many things my way.”

“It’s because you’re wrong,” she muttered softly under her breath knowing full well that Nick could more than likely hear her.

Nick ignored her comment, clear his throat loudly as he stopped near a tree, “How is this spot?” he asked.

“Why do you act as if you think women should be able to do what they want, then tell me I shouldn’t do things?” Charlotte asked, ignoring his question.

Nick sighed, setting the basket down, “Just because I think you should be able to get an education does not mean that I think you should be involved in all aspects of society. Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t think you need to know about dead bodies, rapes, or any other crimes against women. I think there still needs to be barriers because like it or not you’re a lady and you should act like one.”

Charlotte scoffed at his statement but pushed the rest of her comments aside looking left and right before nodding her head toward the spot he had picked previously, “This looks good.”

They laid out the blanket and Charlotte took the cutlery and bowls of food out of her basket. Her mother had prepared the entire meal when she had told her that she was to go visit Nick and bring him a care package from his family. She was surprised by how willing her parents were to let her take the train out to Cambridge for an overnight stay. Her mother said they trusted her but in reality she knew that they trusted Nick to not let anything happen to her before she returned on the train the next day. They had arranged a room for her at a friend’s house nearby and they would be waiting for her at the train station back at home the next afternoon. 

Charlotte put some food on a plate for Nick and handed it to him before fixing her own, “So you like it here?”

Nick shrugged, “Not as much as I thought I would. What I miss most is being outside actually.”

“They don’t let you outside?” she asked, eyes wide. 

“They let me outside,” Nick laughed so hard he had to put his plate down to keep from spilling it, “we mainly stay inside the school walls though, and when I’m able to come out here I’m usually in my room studying so I just see a lot of walls.”

“Well I’m glad I could get you away from your books for a while,” Charlotte smiled, “My mother was wondering what kind of grades you need in preparatory school in order to get into a university like this. Obviously they’d love it if my brothers got in somewhere so prestigious. You wouldn’t happen to have that kind of information?”

Nick took a moment to chew, wondering why his Aunt wouldn’t just ask his mother a question like that, “Of course, I have my transcripts with me in case I need them for anything here at school. Some courses I’ve already taken so I need the letter from my prep school to prove that.”

Charlotte smiled and stored that information away in her memory banks for later use. Little did Nick know, but all the while that they’d been writing she had been asking him specific questions and making a note of his answers. She was compiling information about his life and his schooling that she needed to know. If he ever wondered why she was asking she could always say she was making some sort of family history, explaining who her cousin really was, but should he never ask then she would never have to tell him the true reason behind it. 

She would never have to tell him that along with a few documents slipped away from his parent’s bureau and hopefully soon his prep school transcripts she might be able to visit him a lot more often, as more than just his cousin, but as a peer.

Richard poured a small amount of scotch into a glass, turning to hand it to his son who was seated on the chesterfield next to him. While the women cleaned up from Easter dinner and the younger boys ran off to get into mischief the men had retired to the sitting room, relaxing by the fire with a drink. It used to be that it was just Richard and his brother-in-law Thomas who would take part in the yearly ritual but since Nick had become a University man they had taken him under their wing. He was now officially able to share secrets with the men. 

“So Nick,” Thomas spoke as he sipped from his glass, staring into the fire, “How do you like school?”

“Oh, I like it just fine,” Nick smiled, feeling awkward sitting in the room with his father and his uncle. 

“Charlotte said that you seemed to be enjoying yourself up there and learning quite a bit,” Thomas commented, “It must be a fine school.”

“It is,” Nick agreed, “I have to say that it’d be a fine choice for you to send your boys to.”

Thomas looked at Nick curiously with a chuckle, “I’m sorry?”

“Charlotte told me about how you had Cambridge in mind for your sons, and had asked about my preparatory school grades,” Nick explained, feeling as though he were missing something.

“Son, I have no idea what you’re talking about, that must be something the women have been discussing,” Thomas laughed and Richard was quick to change the subject so Nick wouldn’t embarrass himself any further.

“So you and Charlotte seem to be getting on quite well,” Richard observed, “a smart match if I’ve ever seen one.”

Nick had just lifted his glass to his mouth and struggled not to spit his drink back into it after his father’s words, “I’m sorry? What do you mean ‘a smart match’?” he laughed nervously, “No, I think you’ve gotten it wrong, I’m not courting Charlotte.”

“Of course you are! There have been all the letters and the visits to your school!” Thomas said, clearly confused.

Nick just shook his head, not knowing what else to say.

“Well if you aren’t courting her then what are your intentions?” Thomas wondered, having believed all this time that the money he was spending on sending his daughter to visit and write to this boy would result in a marriage.

“I don’t have any intentions, Sir. She’s the one who started writing me!” Nick defended.

“You invited her to come visit you Nick,” his father pointed out, “That does look a little like you’re interested in her.”

“Well, I don’t know,” Nick answered, unsure, “I don’t dislike Charlotte, I think she’s a lovely girl.”

“That settles it then, you were courting her,” Thomas shrugged and they changed the subject back to matters of politics. 

Nick thought long and hard about what had just gone on. He was now completely uncertain as to whether or not Charlotte had been under the impression that he was interested in her. It wasn’t as though he wasn’t interested in her, he was male after all and he didn’t exactly have a lot of women chasing after him – or any at all for that matter. It just came to the fact that he wanted to concentrate on finishing school, not on supporting a wife and then subsequently a family. Since the rest of the family was unaware of his parents financial problems they also weren’t aware that Nick was paying for his schooling on his own. He had saved up enough money from working and had not spent a dime before his tuition was due. Since he was living off that money, not having looked for a job, there was no way he could support more than himself with it. At the same time though he knew that having a wife would garner him extra respect with the senior fellows at school, and potentially put him in a whole new social group he would have never been previously a part of.

~*~

Thinking about Charlotte and what he thought of her brought him through the night and into the next day. He was going for a walk around his Aunt and Uncle’s property when he noticed her down at the creek washing clothes and decided to catch up with her. 

“Do you need any help with that?” Nick asked, walking up next to where she was leaned over a basin. 

“No thank you,” Charlotte replied, surprised to see Nick. He had kept to himself for most of the weekend which was fine by her because she had other things to take care of, including going through his things he brought home from school.

Nick walked the thin line along the edge of the creek bed, trying to keep his balance, “Do you think we should get married?” he asked out of the blue.

“What?!” Charlotte exploded, standing up and whipping around so fast she knocked Nick off balance and sent him straight into the water. 

The creek was only a few feet deep, but deep enough for him to be completely soaked, “Well that wasn’t exactly the response I was expecting,” he chuckled, brushing the wet hair away from his face. He groaned as he tried to move, having falling on his butt straight onto some rocks. His blue eyes turned up to Charlotte and he extended his hand, “Are you going to help me up?”

“First tell me what you’re going on about,” she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I’ll tell you once you help me up. The water is really cold,” he complained, reaching his hand out again. 

Charlotte sighed but reluctantly grabbed Nick’s hand and pulled. She was met with so much resistance that she nearly let go but his grip was too strong and soon she found herself sitting next to him in the water, dripping from head to toe, “That was uncalled for,” she huffed, glaring at him. 

“Maybe,” he shrugged, standing up in the water and extending her a hand. Once they were both standing he began looking at rocks through the crystal clear creek, “Do you not find it odd that your parents let you write to me and come visit me without any concern of your reputation?”

“Why would that be odd? You’re my cousin.”

“I know that’s why it’s sort of odd. To be honest I’m quite surprised we’re allowed to be alone together right now. In any other family we’d have tea together but would not have weekend visits or go off on our own for anything, cousins or not. The fact that you were allowed to come visit me and stay overnight should have been a warning sign for both of us,” Nick pointed out. 

“I’m not quite sure I’m following you,” Charlotte told him with a shake of her head. In reality she knew why he was so confused. Back in the winter she had told her mother repeatedly that Nick had proclaimed his fondness for her through his letters, which then finally convinced them to let her visit. It was not only the security of him being family that reassured them of her safety, but also that he was, as Charlotte had put it, in love with her. Her parents had been searching for a husband for her since her eighteenth birthday and Nick had always been on their list of options. 

“Does it not seem like our parents are grooming us for a marriage?” he questioned.

“Grooming us... for a marriage to each other?” Charlotte asked, heading back towards the water’s edge.

“Well they certainly wouldn’t get us together if they wanted us to marry other people,” he replied sarcastically.

Charlotte scoffed, “That is supposed to make me want to marry you?”

“I do like you,” Nick told her and Charlotte laughed again, “If you think about it, where else will you find a husband who agrees with you about your opinions on women’s education?”

Charlotte had never imagined that all of her scheming and little white lies would actually result in Nick considering marrying her. She had been certain that it was not ever going to be on his agenda. 

“What about school? You’re too busy to get married,” she pointed out, resuming her work despite how soaked she was from her dip in the creek where Nick still stood picking up rocks for skipping. 

“I’ll continue to go to school, that won’t change,” he told her, dropping the rocks in his hand. He made his way over to where she was sitting on the bank and sat down, pulling off his boots to empty out the pool of water that had collected in them. 

“Oh, and I suppose I’m just supposed to sit here and wait for you to finish?” 

Nick chuckled and shook his head, “No, you’ll of course come back with me.”

“Come back with you where?” Charlotte questioned, her interest suddenly peaked.

“To Cambridge,” he said energetically, “you’ll come to Cambridge to live.”

Charlotte’s eyes light up at the prospect, “I thought you weren’t allowed to live off campus.”

“They changed the rules as of this year,” Nick educated her; “junior fellows are allowed to get married and either board inside the city walls or get a house outside.”

In Charlotte’s mind, the deal was just sealed by that news. Not only did she get out of the house that drove her mad, but she would be right in the lion’s den, in the place where she had been craving to be for years, “If this is your way of asking for my hand it’s not very good.”

“Well,” Nick stammered, “I was just seeing what you thought, I haven’t asked your father yet.”

“Like you said,” Charlotte shrugged, “It seems as if they were setting it all up, so you might as well just ask me now.”

“Alright,” he nodded then kneeled down in the water in front of her, “Charlotte Russell will you be my wife?” 

Charlotte smiled and nodded, “I suppose I could do that,” she answered and Nick went back to sitting beside her. It was an awkward moment but she knew they were both content with the result. She wasn’t necessarily passionate about her dear cousin but she liked him well enough and knew that he would help her achieve what she wanted. 

Nick looked to the water then back up to his now fiancée, “May I kiss you?” he asked.

“On the cheek,” Charlotte replied while turning her jaw out so Nick could plant a light kiss on her cheekbone. She smiled at the power she had over him just then but for a moment thought of Nick’s plans for the future over her own, “What about being an adventurer?”

“What about it?” he wondered.

“You’re going to have a wife and go on adventures all over the world?” 

Nick smiled, “Don’t you want to come with me? You can be my nomad assistant,” he teased.

Charlotte glowed as she nodded eagerly, “I’d very much like to be an explorer.”

“Then you will be,” he announced, “And maybe on our way we’ll find out what exactly snow is made of.”

Charlotte laughed and hit him lightly on the arm, “I’d like that,” she told him, hoping that when he found out all of the things she’d been hiding from him since they had begun their correspondence he wouldn’t change his mind on bringing her along.

If there was one thing that Charlotte excelled at, it was copying documents. Often her father had her replicate the same piece of paper over and over again for his business letterhead. Since then she excelled at making copies and practiced it often. It was a steady hand and a good eye that made her good, it also helped her make false copies of every piece of documentation a University would require. It had taken those few months between Christmas and Easter but Charlotte had successfully copied all of Nick’s transcripts and changed them so they looked like they were her own. Charles Russell had been accepted to Cambridge with impeccable grades and a very convincing letter to the Dean of Admissions. There had been some worry over whether or not Charles would be accepted for the fall term given the short notice of the application but for such an outstanding student they couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have him start as soon as possible. 

When the letter came (addressed to Charles of course – luckily it was Charlotte who got the mail every day) a sense of panic suddenly set into Charlotte’s mind. She now felt obligated to go through with her plans because she had done so much to make them happen. Even things with Nick couldn’t change how badly she wanted to sit in a classroom and learn new things. She had a plan, and with the help of a dear friend she soon had a disguise good enough to fool even her parents. With it on she truly felt like a University man, a junior fellow, like someone who deserved to sit amongst the smartest men in the country, even if her smarts truly belonged to someone else. Short brown hair (a wig), a thin brown moustache (glued on each time), and cloth bindings tight enough to leave her chest as flat as a board would get her through her school years.

While Charles was being admitted into one of the most prestigious Universities in the country Charlotte was enjoying the beginning of her married life. After feeling slightly pressured from their parents she and Nick had gotten married in the summer (he’d been given a special break from his studies to attend his wedding). They quickly discovered that with the addition of their physical relationship, their emotions for each other had become quite strong. Nick had gone back to school soon after they were married and Charlotte began packing her things to make the permanent trip to Cambridge. 

Nick had wanted to get a small house outside of the town but Charlotte had convinced him that for the time being they should just rent a room. That way he (and she) would be close to school and they didn’t need much more than a bed and a kitchen after all. Marrying Nick had turned out to be the best thing that had ever happened to her…for the sake of her façade. Charlotte had never imagined she would actually be accepted to Cambridge so she had never really planned out what to do if she had gotten in. Now she was going to be living there! Having convinced Nick to live inside the school walls gave her ample opportunity for her to attend her classes without him ever having to know. As far as the school was concerned, Charles Russell was married and therefore had permission to live off campus, thus eliminating any problems there may have been with the dormitories. Charlotte had yet to see any problems with her plans. She hid her disguise in a leather case in the closet where it was unlikely for Nick to go searching for anything. Classes began in early October and the only kink in Charlottes plans came in the form of her schedule. Finding the right classes was easy enough because she had all day, and into the evening (when Nick was at his new job) to attend but the day that Charlotte went and scheduled her classes she returned home only to discover that she had enrolled in a class that Nick was also taking. It would surely be a test, but if she could be in a classroom with her husband and never have him figure her out, then she was home free. 

Charlotte grinned as she finished the last sentence on her very first report. She was relishing in the fact that she had homework and had started on it the second she’d walked in the door. She was recapping the bottle of ink when she heard a key in the door. Eyes wide and panicked she threw her papers under the bed and returned Nick’s ink and pen to his desk just as he opened the door. 

“You’re home early!” she announced, still breathless from her rapid fire cleanup.

“That’s not much of a greeting,” Nick commented, shutting the door. He walked the few feet over to Charlotte and kissed her cheek before dropping his leather satchel on the floor. 

“Sorry,” Charlotte bumbled with a laugh, “I was just so excited to see you home early. How was work?” 

Nick rolled his eyes and shrugged, work was work. He had gotten a job at the local butcher so after his classes he would spend the afternoon and into the evening slaughtering pigs and cows. The only advantage to the job was that on top of his regular wages he got a ration of meat free of charge every week. The disadvantage was that with his school work and his job he’d become more testy than he’d ever felt in his life. He hated the place they lived but didn’t complain because Charlotte loved their single room flat, but most of all he hated that he came home every day and it seemed like nothing had been done when his wife had sat at home with what he thought was nothing to do.

“Are we not having dinner?” Nick asked, looking at the stove to see that Charlotte had not even started a fire. 

“Oh,” Charlotte gritted her teeth, having completely forgotten about making a meal since her classes had run late into the afternoon then she’d gotten caught up in her take home tasks, “Um, I thought we’d go down to the pub. One of our neighbours said they have excellent stew.”

“What?” Nick asked with a laugh, “We can’t really afford to eat out, you know that,” he walked over to the woodstove and moved back the curtain underneath, surprised to find the storage area empty. With a glance back at Charlotte he moved to the desk where her change purse lie and opened it, checking inside.

“That’s mine! What are you doing?” Charlotte asked, grabbing her purse back from him.

“What did you do with the money I gave you this morning to go to the market?” Nick asked. 

I spent it at the bookstore Charlotte thought but kept the truth to herself, “I needed to buy something else.”

He blinked, not quite sure he was following her, “Like what?”

Charlotte thought of all the possible answers, needing it to be something that Nick would know nothing about or not notice if it was new or not, “I saw a pretty dress.”

Nick took a deep breath and moved to sit on their small single sized bed. He concentrated on untying his boots so he wouldn’t get angry about Charlotte wasting their money on something as unnecessary as a dress. 

“Are you mad?” Charlotte asked in her most innocent voice, knowing perfectly well that despite his seemingly calm exterior Nick was fuming. 

“No,” he sighed, “Yes, I am mad! Just,” another sigh and Nick ran his hands through his hair, “Next time I give you money for food please buy food and if you want money for yourself to buy something else then we’ll talk about it.”

“I’m sorry,” Charlotte said, moving to sit down on his lap. Her apology had more than one connotation because on top of feeling guilty for spending the money she also felt guilty that Nick was being such a patient, understanding person and she was lying to him daily. 

“No you’re not,” Nick said stubbornly, “You have what you want and you didn’t even have to work for it, why would you be sorry?”

Charlotte ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, knowing she could win him over if she just kept touching him, “Please don’t be like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like you,” she deadpanned. 

Nick raised an eyebrow to her and shook his head, “It’s true! I know you and you’re not sorry for anything! What I don’t understand is why I work so hard only to come home to a complete mess and dinner not even started? We’ve barely lived here and it’s filthy, how can you stand being here all day in this mess? We rarely have food and when we do it seems like dinner never gets finished until it’s time to sleep and start it all over again. I know you are into this whole female independence thing but you need to cut me some slack here, I can’t do it all. I hate this routine we’re in, I won’t let it continue for the entire year!”

“You know what I hate?” Charlotte asked rhetorically, “That you treat my opinions as if they’re not a worthy cause.” 

Nick laughed and moved his wife off of his lap, standing up to face her, “Are we talking about the things we hate now? Great! You know what I hate? This shit-hole flat! I hate the five flight climb to get up here, I hate the look of it, I hate the smell of it, I hate that we’re pouring our money into it when it could be better spent on a house. I hate it. And in case you didn’t hear me the first time, I hate it.”

Charlotte couldn’t believe her ears, she had never heard Nick spew such venomous words to her, “I hate you!” she yelled, “All we do is fight! Ever since we got married we just fight all the time!”

“Darling,” Nick said sarcastically with a smile, “We fought all the time before we got married.”

Charlotte knew he had her there because he was absolutely right. They had been fighting since the day they met. She couldn’t say anything to defend herself so instead sat perfectly still, bunching fistfuls of her dress in her hands. 

Nick put a hand on either side of her hips and leaned down, almost nose to nose with her, “Now who’s mad? I bet you wish you could leave the room right now but I guess you can’t since we only have one bloody room.”

Charlotte looked straight into his eyes then reached back and slapped Nick hard across the face. His hand immediately went to his cheek, surprised that she would have actually hit him.

Nick grabbed Charlotte by the wrists and pulled her kicking and screaming towards the door. With a firm shove he pushed her out, closing the door behind her. He knew she didn’t have her key and would have to beg him to let her back in, which meant apologizing, which meant he would win. 

Charlotte first tried the door, tears springing to her eyes when she realized that Nick had locked her out. She didn’t know for how long but she knew given how hard headed he was, it could be for a while. She sat down in the hallway facing the door but it was only a few moments before a door swung open and their neighbour came out into the hall and invited her in, having heard everything through the thin walls.

Sue was an elderly lady, a professor at the women’s college nearby, and quite possibly the nicest person Charlotte had ever met. Within moments she found herself sitting in her neighbour’s flat sipping tea, not a word having gone between the two of them yet. 

“You know,” Sue finally spoke with her raspy Scottish accent, “You ought to be more careful.”

“What should I be more careful about?” Charlotte wondered, worried that she was walking into a lecture on being a better wife. 

“Walking around the building in your little get up,” Sue explained, “If too many people see you going into your flat dressed like a man someone is going to tell your husband you have men calling on you during the day. Then he might find his own reasons as to why dinner isn’t on the table.”

Charlotte gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. She had never thought of that. Earlier that day she’d rushed home, as Charles, straight to their room without a thought that if someone saw her they wouldn’t recognize her and assume that she was having an affair…with herself. 

“How did you know it was me?” Charlotte questioned.

Sue chuckled, “The walls are very thin, I knew you were alone and the gentleman looked suspiciously feminine. I put two and two together. I’m guessing your husband is unaware of the fact that you’re attending school?”

“Yes, and please, I would really like it to stay that way, I’ve worked really hard for this,” Charlotte pleaded. 

Sue nodded and collected their cups to put in the wash basin, “I’ll make you a deal,” she said, turning back to Charlotte, “You make sure you pass every one of your classes, and keep yourself more hidden, and I’ll make sure dinner is on your table for every night you’re not able to have it ready in time.”

“You would do that for me?” Charlotte asked, her eyes brimming with tears once again. 

“There has been many times where I have wished I did exactly what you’re doing now. So many times I wished I was a man and could have spent my teaching career at that University. If you can do this without anyone finding out you’ll prove that women are just as capable of attending classes as any man. For those reasons I want to help you, and if keeping your husband happy is important to your success then we’ll keep him happy.”

“If he ever lets me back in,” Charlotte sighed.

“I bet if you go knock on the door he’ll let you back in,” Sue chuckled, “He’s probably getting anxious wondering where you’ve run off to.”

Charlotte smiled and brushed her hair back off her shoulders, “You think so?” 

Sue nodded and winked, “I know so.”

Charlotte laughed lightly then gave the older woman a quick hug before leaving and heading to the next door. She knocked quietly and within seconds the door swung open and a no longer angry Nick was standing on the other side looking concerned.

“Where were you? I thought you’d left!” he said, pulling her in quickly. 

“I just went next door and had tea with the neighbour,” Charlotte chuckled, letting Nick pull her into a tight hug. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, kissing the top of her head, “I didn’t mean it.”

“I know, and I’m sorry too,” she hugged him back, letting him lead her over to the bed, “for everything,” she added, hoping that would cover a lot of things she had yet to do.

The first month of classes had gone easy enough for both Nick and Charlotte but she was quickly finding out that now that they were past the introduction stage, a lot of the work was far beyond her knowledge. Given that the grades she used for her entrance weren’t her own, she was in way over her head. What she had learned in grammar school didn’t quite bring her up to date with everything they were being taught. In order to keep up with school as well as her now obligatory chores Charlotte had taken to doing school work while Nick was asleep, never really finding too much time to rest for herself. 

Their once passionate, newlywed lovemaking had turned into somewhat of a routine with Charlotte merely wanting Nick to be satisfied and asleep so she could continue her school work without him seeing her. Then there was the problem of what she would do if she became pregnant. Sue had been the answer to that conundrum. Even though Charlotte wanted nothing more than to someday have children she didn’t want to have them until she had succeeded in school. She knew Nick was beginning to wonder why after so many months she still wasn’t pregnant because he wanted a reason to buy that house, and the answer was simple. Sue was supplying Charlotte with a brand new form of contraception, a diaphragm; so that nearly every day before Nick got home she could put it in and not have to worry about getting pregnant. It was illegal for women to seek out forms of birth control (considered obscene by the government and the church), yet many people were doing it so Charlotte didn’t know what kind of harm could be done by it.

Sue had connections with a woman who was a pioneer in the field and was trying to make more women aware that such a choice existed. For men it was acceptable to buy, and use, condoms but Charlotte knew it would be too much to ask Nick to wear a condom since he was a religious man and would let anyone who asked know how much he opposed the new trend of contraceptives. He couldn’t think of any reason that people would try to keep themselves from having children, and if they didn’t want any more, they should be abstinent. It was hard for Charlotte to forget things like that every time she pulled the wool over his eyes.

Charlotte tried very hard not to think about her deception because every time she did she would feel guilty and have to resist telling Nick the whole truth. She hated lying to him, and she hated that she had so many secrets. She didn’t mind staying up reading all night because when she fell asleep it only reminded her of what a terrible person she was for lying to Nick. He was everything she could have ever asked for and more. A husband, who loved her, respected her, honoured her, and actually cared what she had to say. She complained that he made her cook and clean but in reality that was her job, who was she to complain? But he took her complaints and they talked about them instead of what any normal man would do which would be to brush her aside. She sometimes worried that if she used contraception too many times, then she would never be able to get pregnant and would never be able to give Nick a child and those thoughts pained her. It was those times, when she woke up from the nightmares of her life, that she thought of ending it all and forgetting the dream. What she had now was perfect. She was with a wonderful person who wanted to be with her forever, and take her around the world. For some reason though she just couldn’t get her own pride out of her head. There she was, laying next to the person who never complained that she only allotted him a foot of room on their small bed, and she took advantage of his majesty every day.

Charlotte sighed and turned more towards the oil lamp on the bedside table so she could see the words on the page in front of her. Nick had turned to face the wall hours before so as long as he was snoring, she would keep reading. She blinked hard to keep herself awake, trying to focus on her work. She would reach a point every night where her body would just get too tired and she would have to wait for that second burst of energy to kick in and get her through the night. Tonight it didn’t seem to be coming as fast as others and her eyes soon became uncomfortably heavy as she fought to focus under the soft light. The book dropped to her chest and her breathing levelled but sleep didn’t last because a few minutes into her cat nap she was awoken by the bed shifting as Nick turned over towards her. 

“Why are you up?” he asked in a gravelly voice, his eyes squinting against the light of the lamp. 

Charlotte’s eyes snapped open and she quickly slid the book off the side of the bed before Nick was awake enough to notice it, “I couldn’t sleep,” she answered, reaching over to brush his messy hair back. 

Nick frowned and reached across her to grab his pocket watch off the bedside table, “It’s three o’clock in the morning,” he complained, knowing it would only be a few hours before dawn when it was time to get up and start the day. 

“Then go back to sleep,” Charlotte rubbed her hands up and down his sides with a smile, looking up at Nick who was leaning over her, his elbow resting just above her head. She needed to finish the chapter she was reading for that morning’s class and Nick was wasting valuable time. 

Nick looked at her curiously as his eye caught sight of the book lying on the floor, “Were you reading?” he asked, leaning down to pick the book up.

“Um, yes,” Charlotte said watching Nick carefully as he read a couple of lines off the page.

“Where did you get this book?” he asked, checking the inside cover to see that it was property of the University library, “Did you steal it?”

“Of course not!” she denied. 

Nick closed the book and read the front cover aloud, “An exploration of woody plants?”

Charlotte gasped and took the book away from him, “You lost my spot!”

With a shake of his head Nick sat up and leaned against the wall, looking to his wife for some sort of explanation, “Why are you up in the middle of the night reading books about plants? A book that does not belong to you, by the way.”

Perfect time to tell the truth, Charlotte’s conscience told her and she took a deep breath, “I got the book from Sue. She can take books out at the university for her own classes at the college,” she lied.

“I didn’t realize they taught botany at Girton,” Nick commented, still slightly sceptical as to the book’s origin.

“They don’t, I asked her to get me this,” Charlotte stumbled over her words, trying to keep her facts straight since Nick was in fact right and the women’s college didn’t have speciality science courses, otherwise she would have taken them.

“But…” Nick began but Charlotte quickly interrupted him by putting the book on the nightstand and kissing him forcefully on the lips. Nick moaned in surprise but still found himself distracted by the kiss, wrapping his arms around Charlotte’s petite frame. His hands ran through her hair as hers gripped his broad back, pressing their bodies tightly together.

Charlotte was glad for the distraction but as soon as she felt Nick’s growing erection against her leg she swiftly pulled back, smiling at him sweetly, “It’s late, we should go to sleep.”

Nick chuckled lightly, “You’re joking right?” he asked, not seeing any sign on her face that she was, “Wow, you’re not joking.”

“No,” she pouted slightly, “I’m tired.”

Nick stared at her for a few moments with eyebrows raised, watching as she got herself comfortable on her ¾ of the bed, “Fine,” he huffed, “We’re sleeping.” 

Charlotte felt Nick reach over and turn down the oil lamp before angrily turning away from her back to his foot of bed, almost taking the entire quilt with him. She didn’t dare complain about the lack of covers because she felt she deserved to have none. She was worried that she would push Nick to a breaking point where one day he wouldn’t feel the need to be so nice anymore since she was never nice to him. 

She sighed heavily and turned towards Nick’s bare back. Delicately she reached out to touch his shoulder, feeling the muscles tense under her small fingers.

Nick loudly cleared his throat and moved further away from Charlotte, almost squishing himself in the crack between the mattress and the wall, “We’re sleeping, not touching,” he reminded her and when she didn’t remove her hand from his back he pulled the rest of the quilt onto his side, wrapping himself in a cocoon of blanket.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke quietly, feeling like there was nothing else to say.

“That’s all you ever are,” Nick snapped and Charlotte felt like she was a lot closer to that breaking point she was worried about than she ever had been. 

She lay awake all night staring at the ceiling until a small amount of sunlight broke through the windowpane and a rooster crowed somewhere in the distance. Quietly, Charlotte got out of bed then went about the morning routine of getting everything ready for Nick to go to school and then onto work. She laid out his wool underwear (it was now cold outside), as well as his suit for school and the clothes he wore to work later in the day. She felt bad about the night before and decided to make him a nice breakfast; not so much to make him feel better but to make herself feel better. 

Sue had been nice enough to let them use her icebox to store the meat that Nick was picking up from work and in exchange Nick brought the ice upstairs so Sue no longer had to pay for delivery, and after a quick trip next door Charlotte had a meal on the go. It didn’t take long for the aroma to wake Nick up since the stove was only a short distance away from the bed. 

“It’s not Sunday, is it?” Nick asked as he slowly awoke.

Charlotte smiled, “No, it’s Thursday,” she answered, knowing he must have thought it was Sunday because they always had a big breakfast just before church. 

Nick seemed to have forgotten about the happenings of the night before, either that or he didn’t plan on bringing it up. He made his way over to the wash basin that she had filled with hot water and washed up quickly. Charlotte watched him out of the corner of her eye as he slowly got dressed, pulling his suspenders up over his shirt so slow she would almost swear he was still asleep. 

Charlotte put some bacon, a boiled egg, and a roll on a plate and set it down on the table for Nick before beginning the process of getting herself dressed. It was all for show, but she couldn’t make it seem as if she was just lounging around in her nightclothes all day. She was slightly concerned by the fact that Nick hadn’t really spoken to her yet, not even thanked her for making breakfast. As she fought with tightening her corset (a skill that she was always too lazy to master on her own and was now suffering for it) she thought to herself that if she didn’t sacrifice some of the things she wanted then she would either lose Nick’s respect, or lose respect for herself. She was so caught up in her own thoughts she barely noticed Nick’s fingers over her own, moving her hands off of the strings of her corset. 

“I’ll help you,” Nick said softly, lacing up the rest, “This time let me know if you can’t breathe,” he laughed, remembering the last time he’d helped Charlotte get dressed and almost suffocated the poor girl. 

“I can breathe,” she assured him with a grin, silently glad that her clothes were a lot easier to get out of than they were to get into otherwise with how tight Nick tied she would spend her entire day trying to get out of her dress. 

Once she was all tied up Nick took a moment to easily rest his chin on top of Charlotte’s head then he returned to his food and Charlotte finished getting dressed, “Isn’t Thursday the day you have a few hours between school and work?” she wondered, knowing the answer was yes even before Nick nodded his head, “Let’s have tea.”

“Really?” Nick asked, surprised since Charlotte rarely asked to meet him for meals. 

“Yes, in fact, let’s have a picnic! Like we always did before!” she said excitedly, deciding that she could afford to miss class for one day in exchange for her marriage not falling apart. 

“A picnic?” Nick asked sceptically, “Love, it’s winter.”

Charlotte had momentarily forgotten that it was cold outside and stood defeated, not knowing what her next step should be. 

Nick, after seeing the sad look on her face, quickly relented, “A winter picnic sounds fantastic actually! It’ll be nice to get some fresh air.”

Charlotte smiled and clapped her hands victoriously. She cleaned up a bit while Nick finished getting ready and just before he walked out the door he gave her a quick kiss. 

“You’re too good to me,” she told him, with more honesty then he would ever know.

“No I’m not,” he said with a smile as he put his coat on. 

“No, you are,” she stressed, telling him she loved him before sending him on his way then turning back into the room to prepare their mid-day winter picnic all the while stressing over how she was going to get caught up on an entire days worth of class in subjects she knew nothing about.

Charlotte hummed a tune as she walked up the many steps to her flat, swinging her leather case with her disguise in one hand, and a parcel with a few Christmas gifts in another. She’d been sneaking a few shillings away from Nick every week so she had enough money to buy him a nice gift for the holiday. It was as if he was buying it for himself in the end, but Charlotte always reminded herself that it’s the thought that counts. 

Her day had gone wonderfully so far. She’d been worried for weeks that she was failing the majority of her classes because of time missed, assignments not completed correctly, and just generally being confused but things were looking up, despite a few troubling moments. She swore she was almost caught one day when the professor called Charles to the front of the class to speak with her and while he was explaining that her grades were quickly slipping a familiar face stood next to her to pass in his assignment. The entire term Charles had never come in contact with Nick during school. She made sure she was one of the last people in class so she could sit as far away from him as possible, and made a point to avoid him when they were handing things in. With two hundred people in the class it wasn’t too difficult. It was only that moment when he stood beside her that she thought she was done, but he passed in his paper and went on his way. It wasn’t until later that he told her how odd it was that a man in one of his classes smelled just like her. 

Exams were coming up just before the break for Christmas and Charlotte was worried, but not as worried as before. She had found out that the classes she thought she was failing she was actually just barely passing, and a passing grade on the exam would ensure her success in first term. She only hoped that she could achieve a passing grade. It seemed like whenever she needed to study Nick always had plans for them to be doing something else. Whereas in the beginning of the year she would have just ignored him, or gave him food to occupy his time, she quickly realized that it wasn’t going to work for very long and she had to do what he wanted to do some of the time and cram all of her reading into the times when he was working. 

Nick had been taking on a lot of extra shifts at the butcher shop, sometimes working well into the night. Everyone was planning grand holiday dinners and putting in orders for large amounts of meat so the owner kept them there overtime trying to fill all of the requests that came in. Charlotte knew that Nick was tired from school and the extra work and had been suffering through a cold for a few weeks, but with more work came more money, so she selfishly hoped for a very nice gift when they got to her parent’s for Christmas. 

When Charlotte reached the top of the stairs she was surprised to see their door ajar. She felt a slight sense of panic thinking that maybe they’d been robbed, but it wouldn’t make sense for a burglar to climb all those stairs when there are flats on the bottom floor. She approached the door hesitantly and pushed it open the rest of the way, slightly surprised to see Nick sitting on the bed. He wasn’t moving and Charlotte found herself taking a long look at his stomach just to make sure he was breathing. She closed the door behind her and stashed her things in the closet before going to stand in front of him.

“Are you alright? Shouldn’t you be at work?” she asked, watching him continue to look down at the ground, his boots half unlaced.

“They sent me home,” Nick replied with a raspy voice, coughing as soon as air hit his lungs.

“Why?” 

“Because I’m sick!” he whined, wiping his nose on a handkerchief.

Charlotte rolled her eyes and bent down to take off Nick’s boots, “Oh you’re not that sick.”

“I am,” he contested, pulling his feet free, “It’s been weeks and I’m not feeling any better.”

“Did you go see a doctor?” she wondered, knowing the answer. 

“No,” he said with a hint of a pout in his voice.

“Then I guess you’re not that sick,” she shrugged, lifting his legs up off the floor and onto the bed so she could cover him with the quilt.

“Well I’m sorry Miss. Nightingale, I didn’t realize I was in the presence of an expert,” Nick grumbled sarcastically, his head flopping back on the pillow. 

Charlotte crossed her arms and looked down at him curiously, “Who?”

Nick was surprised, given that Charlotte was all about women being independent that she didn’t know who Florence Nightingale was, “She’s famous,” he answered, adding, “She’s a nurse.”

“Well if she’s famous she must be a really good nurse,” Charlotte concluded as she moved to the stove to boil water for tea, “Maybe you should go see her and she can tell you how not that sick you are.”

Nick sighed, “I’m pretty sure she’s retired, not that it matters,” he rolled his eyes, “You know I really hope this is contagious.”

“I don’t really get sick, myself,” Charlotte shrugged, making him sit up so he could drink his tea. 

Nick tried not to smile at her smugness and took a sip of his tea, his face contorting at the taste, “Honey,” he said weakly.

“Yes?” Charlotte replied in a chipper voice.

Nick couldn’t keep himself from laughing, trying not to cough up a lung in the process, “No, it’s bitter, needs honey,” he explained.

Charlotte took his cup and added honey, making sure it was just to his liking before handing it back, “There you go,” she said running a hand over his hair, “I think I heard Sue getting in I’m going to pop in real quick to talk to her.”

“Don’t be long,” Nick told her. He didn’t really like the amount of time that Charlotte was spending next door. He liked Sue well enough, she seemed like an okay woman but her views on women’s rights were even more left wing, and liberal than his wife’s. He worried sometimes that the opinionated old woman might be filling Charlotte’s head with ideas that could get her into trouble. 

Charlotte just waved him off as she closed the door behind her, heading next door. She had taken to doing some of her school work at the neighbour’s just because Nick would assume they were having tea and chatting and wouldn’t bother to interrupt so she didn’t have to worry about finishing in a rush. 

She loved talking with Sue because she knew so much. Of course, talking to Nick was interesting also, but if you didn’t speak Latin or Greek, follow University rugby and football, or be very politically conservative then the discussion could occasionally come up short. He could be liberal when it came to some topics, but then on others he would talk her into the ground on how wrong she was for thinking a certain way. Sometimes it was just hard to keep up because he was obviously a lot smarter than she. 

Sue never did that though and that’s why Charlotte loved talking to her. She never felt like she was being spoken down to, or chastised for thinking one way or another. Sue would tell her stories of all the places she’d been during her life and all of the things she did while there. Sue had become a big part of lobbying for the legalization of birth control, and she often tried to get Charlotte involved in their movements, especially now that she herself was practicing it. One thing that Sue had become keenly interested in was the fact that Charlotte’s church had a group who was only there to ensure that the birth control advocates didn’t succeed and Charlotte had become a bit of a spy for the cause. 

“So it’s all men?” Sue asked, pouring more tea into her cup.

Charlotte nodded, “I saw them after mass putting up signs on the bulletin board about a protest they were going to attend. As far as I could see everyone was male.”

“Figures,” Sue scoffed, “So concerned about spreading their seed they don’t even think about what it’s like to have to give birth to eighteen children.”

“They’re not all like that!” Charlotte tried to defend.

Sue shook her head, “My dear, don’t let them fool you. They are all like that, they might tell you different, but they’re lying. That’s what men do, they lie.”

Charlotte wasn’t going to argue the point with her so she conceded and Sue continued her rant. Her mind went to Nick for a moment, thinking of how for the last few hours she’d been able to hear him coughing through the wall but she hadn’t heard it recently.

“I should go check on Nick,” she suddenly said, interrupting whatever the other woman was saying.

Sue looked at her quizzically, brushing back a strand of her long grey hair, “What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s sick,” she explained, “I really should be taking care of him.”

Sue crossed her arms and shook her head at the young, naïve girl in front of her, “He’s a grown man, I’m sure he can take care of himself.”

“That’s just it,” Charlotte sighed, “He can take care of himself better than I can take care of him. He takes care of me most of the time too, but I love him and I want to make sure he’s okay because I know he would do the same for me.”

Sue relented, knowing it was more a matter of conscience than a man/wife debate, “You’re right, everyone likes to be pampered when they’re ill.”

Charlotte made a quick dash back to her flat, gasping when she opened the door to see Nick curled up in a ball under the quilt shivering. She went to his side immediately, noticing that the sheets were soaked with sweat. 

“You’re burning up,” she observed, her hand on his forehead, “You should have come and gotten me!” 

Nick just groaned in response while Charlotte tried to figure out what to do. Truthfully she had no idea what to do, being a person who had rarely been ill since she was a child she wasn’t really skilled in remedies and found herself standing in the middle of the flat wishing that her mother were there to take care of Nick so she didn’t have so much stress about it. 

“Okay,” Charlotte spoke aloud to no one in particular, “We have to get your fever down is what we have to do,” she stated, quickly going into the closet to grab more blankets. She piled them all on the bed on top of Nick, tucking him in tightly while he shivered uncontrollably. She sat down next to him and rubbed his arms, trying to warm up the rest of his body.

“I don’t think this is working,” Nick complained, his voice small and weak.

Charlotte brushed back his sweaty bangs, concerned by the heat that was radiating off of his forehead. His entire face was red and sweaty and she was at a complete loss as to what she should do if the blankets didn’t work. She just remembered a time when her brother had a fever and her mother put extra blankets on the bed to keep him warm so he could sweat it out. It didn’t seem like Nick was sweating out the illness, only getting worse. 

“I don’t know what else to do,” she admitted, looking to him for some sort of guidance. 

“My mother,” Nick began, having to stop to take a deep breath, “She would put something cold on my head.”

“Something cold,” Charlotte repeated, thinking of where she could get something really cold. Her thoughts immediately went to the ice box and she left Nick quickly to see if she could get some ice from Sue.

“How sick is he?” Sue asked as Charlotte returned looking for ice.

“He’s got a really bad fever,” Charlotte responded, running her hands through her long brown hair anxiously.

“I’ll come take a look at him,” Sue offered, sensing that Charlotte wasn’t all that good with sick people. 

The two of them walked back over and Sue was amazed when she realized just how bad Nick’s fever was. 

“How long has he been sick?” she asked, pulling the blankets back off of him.

“He hasn’t been feeling well for a few weeks now. Um, coughing, a little fever I suppose, just a cold,” Charlotte tried to explain, not really knowing what Nick’s symptoms were since she kept telling him he wasn’t as sick as he said.

Sue tossed the blankets to the floor and Nick curled up more mainly because he was cold but also because he didn’t like the idea of someone else being the one to care for him. Sue sensed his pride showing through slightly so instead she instructed Charlotte on what to do.

“Now you’ll know for next time,” she told her, “You need to get him out of those wet clothes.”

Charlotte nodded and moved to remove the work clothes that Nick still had on but his hand grabbing hers stopped her.

“I will not be seen indecent by some old woman,” he said sternly, his cold hand gripping her wrist.

“She knows how to make you feel better,” Charlotte tried to reason but Nick just held onto her tighter.

“Charlotte,” he merely spoke her name but his tone made her know that he was serious beyond any doubt. 

“Alright,” Charlotte sighed before turning to Sue, “Just tell me what to do.”

Sue gave her a quick rundown of what she should do, shaking her head at Nick as she headed for the door, “That’s men for you, always afraid to look weak.”

“Hush,” Charlotte chastised, “he’s sick!” 

She quickly usher Sue out the door after thanking her for her help then took up the task of getting Nick better.

“Now, let’s get you out of those clothes shall we?” she asked rhetorically, trying to get him to sit up. The difference in size between them was vast, Charlotte being a slight, petite woman and Nick the complete opposite. He often got stares since it was unusual to see anyone as tall as he was, people over six feet tall were hard to come by. She was now realizing just how big the difference was as she fought to get Nick into a sitting position, then into the chair next to the bed without much help from him. 

Once she got him up she stripped him down to his skin and wrapped him in a blanket while she warmed some water. While the water boiled she stripped the bed and got fresh sheets (the only other set they owned) from the closet and remade the bed. Once the water was warm she poured it in a wash basin then stuck Nick’s feet in it, hearing him hiss as his skin hit the hot water. She wrapped a few more blankets around him then opened the window, letting in the cool night air. 

Nick tried to relax, leaning his head back against the wall. Charlotte sat by his feet and slowly rubbed his calves, trying to draw the blood back down to his legs and away from his head as Sue had instructed her. 

“Maybe we should go to your parent’s early,” he suggested after a few moments when his body temperature had finally started to return to normal and his chills had somewhat subsided.

“Why? You have exams,” Charlotte reminded him, staring at the fine hair on his legs as she warmed them.

Nick coughed loudly and groaned, “They’re not going to let me take them if I’m sick. They’re not going to let me be in a room full of scholars thinking I’m going to give everyone scarlet fever.”

“You don’t have scarlet fever,” she shrugged, really hoping he would decide to stay since she also had exams.

“I know I don’t,” Nick rolled his eyes; “It was an example. I would just really like to go home and get some rest and be taken care of.”

Charlotte stopped rubbing his leg and pulled his feet from the basin so she could dry them with a towel, “You mean so you can have your mother take care of you.”

“Don’t use that tone,” he shook his head then let Charlotte lead him back onto the bed, “It’s not as if you really know what you’re doing here. I’m worn out Char, everything has just been a little too hectic lately and with being sick I just can’t take much more. I would really like to go out to the country a week early and rest. My professors will understand that, why can’t you?”

Charlotte sighed, “We have bills to pay, and things to take care of before we go to my parent’s so why don’t you go and I’ll meet up with you in a few days?”

“We can pay rent and that now,” Nick said, wondering why she wanted to stay behind.

“If we give Mrs. Figs the money for more than one week then she’s going to spend it and say we never paid. That happened before when we gave her more than a week’s worth. We won’t owe for the two weeks of Christmas until January, so you know she’ll charge us extra,” Charlotte used as an excuse when in reality she needed to stay to take her exams.

Nick sighed and shrugged, too weak to argue, “Fine if you’re that worried about the six shillings then stay. I’m going to go. I’ll go to the school tomorrow to let them know I’m not well and then I’ll get on the train.”

“I’ll pack your things,” Charlotte told him and Nick continued to stare at her quizzically wondering what on earth had gotten into the girl so she was going to stay behind by herself an extra week before Christmas just so she could pay their landlord for a week’s worth of rent. He knew it wasn’t worth fighting her on it because he would eventually succumb to whatever she wanted, but he couldn’t say he was pleased about her decision either. 

Meanwhile, Charlotte was jumping inside having been so worried that Nick would talk her into going home (which she was looking forward to) because then any chance she had of passing her classes would be gone.

For as long as everyone had gathered at the Russell’s for Christmas, they had also attended the biggest New Year’s party in the area, thrown by the town. It was the place to be if you lived in the Newmarket area. People from all over would come to Ashley Green to take part in the celebrations. The entire town would be turned into a party. Different store fronts and businesses had different events, there were games, dances, drinking, and of course fireworks. 

The most exciting part of the New Year’s celebration was deciding what you were going to do. The kids always loved the ability to roam around taking part in a variety of different things without parental supervision. A few days before New Years a flyer had arrived with a listing of everything that was going on so that people could plan their night. Charlotte had mulled over the activities, not quite sure what all she wanted to take part in. One of the biggest events of the night was a fancy dress ball hosted by the Woods, by far the wealthiest family in Ashley Green. When she was younger it was the one thing she looked forward to every year. She would be able to wear the dress she got for Christmas, dress up and just feel pretty. She would always go to the ball to meet up with her friends in the hopes that fine young men from the upper class would ask them to dance, but now she was sort of worried about seeing those people again since she’d had very little contact with them since she left home in the summer. 

“Nick?” she spoke hesitantly, not wanting to disturb him from his book. 

Nick read down to the bottom of the page before glancing up at Charlotte with a smile, “Yes dear?”

“What are we going to do tonight?” Charlotte asked, unceremoniously flopping down on the ottoman in front of her husband’s chair. 

Nick chuckled at her dramatics and marked his page so he could put his book down on a side table, “I’ll do whatever you would like to do.”

Charlotte pouted, “That doesn’t help me at all.”

Nick thought for a moment then reached out to touch Charlotte’s hair, pushing it away from her face, “Okay, I’ll help you. Show me the flyer.”

Her frown immediately switched to a smile and she held out the piece of paper for him to look over. 

“Well,” Nick thought aloud, “We can go to the parlour games, you know how much you like a good round of charades, oh and maybe they’ll play the nursery rhyme game! You’re really good at that one!”

Charlotte grinned wildly, “I am aren’t I?”

He nodded, “I’m sure you could win all of the prizes.”

“How does your garden grow?” she asked with a giggle, knowing Nick would probably have trouble with the answer. 

Nick laughed and thought long and hard for the answer, “You know, I said it was you who was good at this game, not me.”

“I need an answer!” she teased, pulling on his hand.

“My garden grows just fine Mary Mary quite Contrary,” he quipped, sticking his tongue out at her quickly. 

Charlotte smiled, “You’re good at that game too. What else should we do?”

“I imagine we’ll be going to the Wood’s?” 

Charlotte rested her hand on her chin, “I’m not sure if I want to go.”

“Why not?” Nick asked curiously, always remembering how much Charlotte adored the ball to the point that for a week before hand she would stomp her feet with excitement every time it was mentioned.

“Everything is different now,” she shrugged, “my reasons for going aren’t the same as they were before.”

“So?” he wondered, “We can go and laugh at all of the people who we know that married ugly, unfortunate people.”

Charlotte laughed loudly, having to put her hand over her mouth to keep herself from attracting attention from the entire house, “We should go,” she agreed, “It might be nice to see some of my friends again. If we go though, you’ll have to brush up on your etiquette a little.”

Nick gasped, “I have no idea what you’re talking about I have impeccable manners!”

“I know you do,” she assured him, patting his knee consolingly, “It’s just…well, I’ve seen you at this party and sometimes you can act differently from everyone else and people notice that.”

“Different how?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Charlotte rung her hands together, biting her lip as she thought of a delicate way to tell him, “You can act very…American sometimes.”

Nick chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, “Everyone should know to expect that, I was raised as an American after all. I’m used to hearing people talking about my accent behind my back so I think I can handle it if people talk about how I’m not stuck up and boring enough to be British.”

“See, that right there!” Charlotte said with a smile on her face, “You’re being an ostentatious American!” 

Laughing, Nick merely shrugged his shoulders once again, “If I don’t act American they’ll say I’m trying to be British. Maybe if I dress up like a cowboy or a Union soldier they won’t have to secretly talk about me acting American because it will be out there for everyone to see?”

“If you dress up like a cowboy then you can go with your other wife because I won’t be seen with you,” Charlotte warned, pointing a finger at him.

“I couldn’t possibly,” he assured her, “I don’t have a hat for it.”

The two of them laughed and mutually decided that they would attend despite the fact that Charlotte didn’t really want to see her friends and Nick didn’t have a cowboy hat to wear.

“Now we’re going to have to get all dressed up,” Charlotte bubbled, starting to get excited like she used to at the thought of doing her hair and looking nice, “Perhaps I’ll wear my yellow dress.”

“Don’t you think that dress is a little bright?” Nick queried. Charlotte had always been the type to wear bright, flashy, dresses. It was those dresses that made sure every man at the ball avoided her dance card like it was an illness. People were always dressed elegantly, and blues, reds and greens always seemed to be popular colours but Charlotte had always managed to find the one colour that no one in the room would dare be seen in and make sure every inch of her from her hair pins to her shoes was covered in it. He thought to everything his father had been saying to him and decided to try and combine a little of his parent’s style of authority with some of his own. 

“I think it’s pretty,” Charlotte said, wondering what he was getting at.

“On you everything looks beautiful,” he told her, hoping the compliment would help what he was about to say, “but maybe you should wear something a little darker this year? Like the dress I got you for Christmas maybe?”

Charlotte sulked, “It’s navy.”

“I thought you liked it?”

“I do!” she urged, “I adore it, it’s lovely!" For a formal funeral, she added mentally. 

“Good!” Nick smiled, “That settles it then, you’ll wear it tonight. There’s no better time to wear a new dress, right?”

“I suppose,” Charlotte replied without any enthusiasm.

“You can even wear yellow in your hair,” Nick suggested, “It’ll match.”

“Why don’t you wear yellow in your hair?” she crossed her arms over her chest, not thinking she was going to be able to look pretty in something as boring as navy blue.

“Won’t go with my suit,” Nick grinned, reaching out to hold her chin with his thumb and forefinger, “Don’t pout it’s not becoming.”

“Sorry,” she muttered, still with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “So I imagine if we go to the games and to the ball that will bring us right up to the fireworks?”

Nick nodded and picked his book back up, “I certainly hope so.”

“Well I’d better go press your jacket if we’re going fancy tonight,” Charlotte spoke aloud, letting Nick return to his reading. 

“Thank you,” Nick smiled and leaned over to kiss Charlotte’s forehead before turning to the book.

Charlotte let out a heavy sigh, hoping Nick heard her displeasure. She made her way out to the kitchen where her mother and both aunts were, two of them baking pies for dinner the next day. They would eat that night’s dinner at the various food stations set up along the main street, it was all part of the appeal of New Year’s Eve. You got to do what you wanted, and eat as much as you could without running out of money. 

“Nick is acting funny,” Charlotte observed, grabbing a slice of apple from a bowl before taking a seat next to her Aunt Trudy.

“He’s not feeling sick is he?” Cecilia immediately questioned, ready to go care for her son if need be.

“No,” she dismissed with a wave of her hand, “Not sick, just different. I want to wear my yellow dress to the Wood’s tonight but he won’t let me! He wants me to wear the dress he got me for Christmas but it’s,” she cringed, “navy blue!” 

The three older women shared a knowing look between them and turned back to the whining youth.

“Well,” her mother began, “It would be rude of you to not show off the gift he gave you.”

“It’s not me though!” Charlotte whined, munching on her small apple slice

“Charlotte, sometimes you have to sacrifice the things you want to make your husband happy,” Cecilia explained, “Nick bought that dress only with you in mind, so he obviously thinks that it’s you, or it’s how he would like you to dress. It’s your duty as his wife to do him that favour and wear the dress he wants over the dress that you want.”

Charlotte nodded, knowing that was what was always drilled into her head through her entire life, “It’s never been like that with him though. He’s never told me what to wear or what not to wear, or what to say. He’s always told me he loved when I was just me. Now all of a sudden he wants me to be something I’m not and I don’t understand what changed.”

Trudy pursed her lips and rubbed Charlotte’s back quickly, “Sometimes Nick is going to have to put up a front, just like he wants you to do tonight. I don’t think you realize how much he’s had to defend you to some of the people in this family. When you speak out of turn, interrupt him, talk about how he does chores and cooks, and not show up at the train station with him while he’s sick…it’s looks bad on him, not you. He might be more than willing to do all of those things for you, to let you live somewhat independently, but you can’t expect him to do it all the time.”

“You’re right,” Charlotte said quietly, not realizing just how out of control she’d become with her lack of manners when it came to their marriage. She couldn’t very well tell the women all of the things she was hiding, but the things that were obvious to everyone could be changed, and she would have to change them. She couldn’t stand to think that Nick was being ridiculed for her behaviour and suddenly her brother’s never ending comments started to make sense.

“So, you’ll be wearing blue tonight then?” her mother asked with a sly grin.

Charlotte nodded then stood up, moving to the stove to heat up the iron, “Yes, I’d have better start getting ready or I’ll fall behind.”

The slow pace of the morning soon turned feverish as it got to late afternoon and everyone was scrambling to get ready to go out. One of the older children was staying home to watch the young ones while everyone else got dolled up. Nick had taken care of the two oldest boys, making sure their ties were tied correctly, suit jackets were clean and pressed and shirts were tucked in. The men ended up downstairs in the study anxiously awaiting the arrival of their dates. 

Nick glanced up as he heard footsteps on the stairs and watched as Charlotte was the first person down, holding her dress just above her ankles so she didn’t trip. He smiled as she walked towards him, thinking she was by far the most beautiful woman in the room.

“You look amazing,” he said softly, taking her hands. He noticed immediately the yellow ribbon intricately weaved throughout her hair and was glad she’d taken his advice since they did in fact match. 

“So do you,” Charlotte told him, taking in how sharp he looked in his tuxedo.

“Okay!” Thomas said, corralling everyone, “Let’s get going!” 

As they made their way to the door Nick happened to glance down at his sleeve and gasped, “Damn,” he cursed, “I was so busy making sure everyone else was ready I didn’t put on my cufflinks.”

“You want me to go get them?” Charlotte inquired.

“No, no, I’ll do it. You go ahead and get in the carriage I’ll just be one second,” he assured her, making sure they’d wait for him before he ventured upstairs. He couldn’t quite recall where he’d left the box with his cufflinks in it since things had gotten taken out and put away since Christmas. 

After a quick glance around the bed Nick looked inside his suitcase and couldn’t find the box. He put Charlotte’s case on the bed and sorted through it, taking out some of her clothes so he could search better. 

“A ha!” he sounded victoriously as he located the small box that had his cufflinks inside. He was tempted to just leave everything out but knew that Charlotte wouldn’t appreciate her knickers being out for the world to see, and for the younger kids to rummage through while they were home. He carefully refolded everything and placed it back in the case, curiously picking up a small velvet pouch that had fallen out of some of her clothes. His conscience was telling him to just put the pouch back in Charlotte’s case and never think of it again, but his curiosity seemed to be getting the better of him and he couldn’t help himself from pulling the small ropes until the bag opened and he could see inside. 

He was confused for a moment, not knowing what it was. He pulled out the small, beige coloured disk and held it in his hand curiously until suddenly like a bag of bricks it hit him. He had seen the notices on the bulletin board and the flyers that the anti-contraception group from his church had been distributing. He had read their propaganda and protest newsletters and knew exactly what he was holding in his hand, he just wasn’t sure if he wanted to believe that his wife was the owner of such an offensive piece. He wasn’t sure whether to fly into a fury, or cry because he’d been deliberately deceived by the one person he would have never expected it from. 

“Nick, we’re going to leave without you if you’re not down here in one minute!” his father called up the stairs and Nick quickly shoved the diaphragm back into the bag, closing Charlotte’s case and slipping on his cufflinks before racing downstairs to join the charlatan he’d married. 

“What took you so long?” Charlotte asked in a concerned tone as Nick joined her in the carriage.

“Couldn’t find my cufflinks,” he replied monotonously, suddenly not feeling up to a party. He knew there had to be someone behind all of this, because he didn’t think Charlotte would be bold enough to go looking for someone to get her something illegal. He had questioned whether or not she’d stolen that book back in the fall but he never actually thought she would ever be able to pull off anything felonious. But there she was, committing crimes, committing sins, who knew how many times a week right under his nose. He wondered if she used his money to pay for it and the thought simply disgusted him. In his mind he tried to make a list of any of the people he could imagine Charlotte going to for such a product and he could only come up with one. Sue was the only one, and he knew with every fibre of his being that it was her who had brainwashed his wife. That old woman who hated men, supported many questionable practices, and above all else had Charlotte as her protégé. 

As Nick looked out into the cold winter night he swore one thing to himself for absolute certain, Sue MacDonald was not going to get away with what she’d done, he was going to ensure she was knocked off her pedestal and he would guarantee that Charlotte would be there to watch her fall.

“This day could not possibly get any worse,” Charlotte moaned as she trudged down the sopping wet street, having given up trying to hold a newspaper over her head to keep her from the cold rain. Earlier that day she’d received the results of her first term exams and was utterly devastated. She’d failed three classes and was now on academic probation. If she had another semester like the first one, she’d be asked to leave the school. For all the times she’d started to wonder if this endeavour was worth it she was finally seriously considering that it wasn’t. It would be easy to get out of it now, the school didn’t want a poor student like Charles Russell and Charlotte was getting more discouraged and rundown by the day. 

To add to her misfortune it had begun raining while she was changing from her disguise back into her regular clothing and by the time she was on her way home it was freezing cold, and pouring. It was just a little too warm for it to snow, but she couldn’t keep herself from wishing it would just because her hair wouldn’t be pouring torrents of water down her back. She had to stop off on her way and pick up some things to prepare Nick’s birthday cake as well, even though she wanted nothing more than to give him a meal of rotten meat and a gift of rocks for how he’d treated her since they had returned home from her parent’s. Ever since New Year’s Eve he’d been acting very odd and Charlotte didn’t like it. It was as if someone had crawled into his mind and flipped a little switch changing him from nice to nasty. Just when she had started to understand the reasons behind some of his actions he went off the deep end and completely went the way of his father. He was demanding, bossy, irritable, and every time she walked into the room even if he had the most brilliant smile on his face he would immediately look cross. She wondered what she’d done to deserve his sudden change in personality but was also sort of worried to find out what it was. 

She sighed with relief when her building was within sight but a large black carriage out in front made her nervous. As she got closer she noticed two very official looking men standing beside the carriage, seemingly guarding the door. She glanced at them briefly, noting their badges before hesitantly venturing inside of the building. The place seemed to be a bustle of activity on each floor. Tenants were out of their flats, curiously looking up the staircases to try and see what all of the hubbub was about. 

“What’s all this?” Charlotte questioned a young woman who was standing on the first floor, trying desperately to see anything.

“I don’t know,” the stocky blonde replied, “Just all of a sudden there was a great bit of racket so I came out to see what was happening and one of those gentlemen introduced himself as a constable of the London Metropolitan Police. Can you believe it? London police! Here! Said they were looking for a wanted criminal but no one got a look at him, they’d already got him in that carriage. People have been carrying trunks and the like down the stairs for a while now. Evidence for some kind of trial, I imagine.”

Charlotte had a sick feeling in her stomach at the thought that some wanted criminal was living in the same building as her. If the London police came all the way to Cambridge to apprehend the person then they must have committed a serious crime, one that the crown was involved in. “Do you think it’s okay for me to go up?” she wondered.

The other woman nodded, “I imagine. They seem to be finishing up. People have been going up to their flats for a bit now.”

Charlotte made the long climb up to the flat, watching as some people starting returning to their rooms, bored with the events. She noticed some of the police officers on her floor as she walked down the hall, but she couldn’t tell where they’d just come from. 

“Have you been home long?” she asked, surprised to see Nick as she walked in the door. She wondered if he knew more than the lady downstairs. Quickly, she removed her wet jacket then rung her hair out into the wash basin.

“A while,” he replied, not looking up from the assignment he was writing. 

“Do you know what’s going on?” 

Nick dipped his stylus in the inkwell on his desk, carefully writing out an essay, “Yes, I spoke with one of the constables.”

“Well?” Charlotte asked curiously, pulling on his sleeve lightly.

“You’re going to smudge my ink!” Nick complained with a groan, putting his pen down so he could turn and talk to her, “They received some information about a criminal on the loose and they came to arrest them.”

“The person was wanted?”

“Yes, there was a warrant out for a group of people and she was part of this group. The London Police had been looking for them, and they received a telegram with her whereabouts,” he explained, turning back to the desk.

“She? Her? It was a woman? I just can’t believe it, I would have never imagined one of our neighbours to be a wanted criminal.”

“It’s definitely unsettling,” Nick agreed, “I mean all this time, living right next to us and we were blind.”

“They’re living right next to us?” Charlotte’s eyes suddenly bulged, and she pointed towards the wall the bed was against “You mean Mrs. Scott is a criminal? She seemed like such a lovely woman!”

Nick shook his head slowly then pointed his hand in the other direction, saying nothing.

The day just got much worse. Colour drained from Charlotte’s face in a flash and she bolted out the door and over to Sue’s apartment, swinging the door open to find it a complete mess. Flyers, and bulletins were littered across the floor, trunks had obviously been removed, some of her books were missing (which Charlotte suspected might include some of her own), and her closet was empty. Defeated, she slowly walked back to her own flat, the door still wide open from her sudden escape. 

“I was as shocked as you are,” Nick spoke as Charlotte walked back through the door looking crushed, “I would have never suspected that Sue was up to no good.”

“Did they say her crime?” 

“Apparently, dear old Sue was part of a group calling themselves the Birth Control League. The police have been looking for the leader of the group, as well as any of the higher ranking members for months. Sue was illegally publishing pamphlets encouraging young women to take part in birth control! In her room they also found a bunch of flyers talking about selective breeding, about how you should specifically pick a partner for the sole purpose of breeding bright, successful children. Planning pregnancies, or not having any children at all, can you imagine? It was unbelievable that she would be informing people of that kind of filth. She was brainwashing young, naïve women to believe that it was their choice when to have children, not God’s choice. The information even went so deep as to tell people where they could acquire contraception,” Nick let out an angry sigh and shook his head, “Instructions on how to sin, it’s the work of the Devil.” 

Charlotte ground her teeth to keep from lashing out at Nick after his diatribe. There was nothing she hated more then when he went on his religious rampages, criticizing people that he considered “sinners”. She herself was a religious woman, but obviously far more open-minded than her male counterpart. 

“Sue was a good person,” she said quietly, thinking about all of the things Nick had just told her, “the police…they told you all of that?”

Nick paused for a moment then nodded, “Like I said, I talked to the constable.”

“They told you all that but wouldn’t tell anyone else in the building anything?”

“Where are you going with this?”

Charlotte wiped away a lone tear that had managed to escape her eye and looked at her husband forlornly, “Did you have something to do with this?”

Nick stared out the window, knowing that now was not the time to be a hypocrite, “I won’t lie to you. I’m not a liar. I was the person who alerted the police to her whereabouts. I couldn’t stand the fact that she was doing what she was doing and getting away with it. You don’t need to worry though,” he breathed a soft breath and turned, taking Charlotte’s hand, “I got rid of everything that would link you to her. No one will ever know you were involved.”

“What?” Charlotte asked with her voice completely void of emotion. She couldn’t believe what he was saying; she couldn’t believe that he knew! Her hands shook slightly as she realized why Nick had been so grumpy lately, and she was ashamed that she had gone on all that time with him knowing one of her secrets.

“We can start over,” Nick told her, wanting so badly to forget that Sue ever existed. He was secretly glad that Charlotte was so broken up about her idol fallen, but he didn’t want to completely alienate her because that might only make things worse than they were before, “We’ll forget this whole thing ever happened.”

“I would have never thought of you as so vindictive,” Charlotte muttered, feeling Nick squeeze her fingers with uncomfortable strength.

“Vindictive? You want to talk to me about vindictive? There is no person in this room more unkind than you,” he spat, dropping her hand like it was on fire, “I planned on making this easy for you, not making you feel guilty, but you have to go and accuse me of being vindictive when all I did was my civic, lawful duty when I discovered that my neighbour was committing heinous felonies against God and against her country!”

“Heinous?!” Charlotte exploded, looking at him as if he were insane, “Do you think that giving women a choice of what they should do with their own bodies is heinous?”

“Therein lies the problem,” Nick detailed, “It’s not my decision, it’s the law’s decision and they decided that yes, it is. If it were up to me I would make a clause that would say that if a woman were allowed to make such a choice, it should be done with the explicit consent of her husband. It’s when you women start making your own choices that things get out of hand. Give you a little bit of power and you run amuck. You become two-faced and deceitful, playing your little games behind people’s backs.”

Charlotte couldn’t keep herself from crying, ashamed that she had changed Nick’s philosophies because of her lies, “I never meant for you to find out!” 

“Well I did find out!” Nick yelled furiously, not caring that everyone in the building could probably hear him, “You will never be able to even begin to imagine how much it pained me when I did! You might as well have reached into my chest and ripped out my heart! Never in a thousand years would I have ever thought you would do something like this!” he looked away quickly, having to take a staggering breath as his own tears started to fall. Quietly he continued, “It wasn’t that you did it. Even though it’s something I don’t agree with I’ve always let you have opposing views than my own and express that. It was that you did it and you lied to me about it. You didn’t just lie, you made stories to cover it up, and you acted as if nothing was wrong. You tricked me into believing in the back of my mind that maybe it was my fault we hadn’t had a baby when all along you knew why and you said nothing. I still don’t quite understand why you don’t want to have my children.”

His breakdown and closing statement were all Charlotte could handle and she full out bawled into her hands, “I do want to have your children, please trust me! I’m so sorry! I won’t blame you if you leave me!” she cried.

“I’m not going to leave you,” Nick sighed, “I just hope one day you can explain everything to me so that I know what I did wrong.”

“Nothing! You did nothing wrong!” she tried to assure him. Charlotte stood and walked the few steps towards him, hugging him around the stomach, “You have to believe me,” she whimpered, surprised when Nick suddenly pushed her away from him.

“Don’t touch me,” he growled, angrily wiping his eyes, “I can’t stomach you touching me right now. Every time I think of the times we’ve made love I’m completely disgusted. They were all lies. I was baring my heart and my soul to you and I was hoodwinked. Just for a little while...please don’t touch me.”

Charlotte couldn’t believe her ears; she had never heard pain in Nick’s voice like she was hearing then and it made her ache inside. She was so ashamed of what she’d done, and in the back of her mind she wondered how horribly he would react when he found out about her bigger secret, “I’ll do whatever you want,” she whispered.

“Yes, you will, because I’m your husband,” Nick said to her frankly. He had never intended on blowing up at her. In fact, his plan of attack was to be coy with the whole situation so that they could move past it and he wouldn’t have to think about it anymore. Instead he’d now gotten himself upset again and couldn’t stop thinking about it, “I need to go out for a while. Don’t wait up.”

“Alright,” Charlotte nodded, knowing that he just needed to be away from her and she completely understood. She watched him as he got his jacket and derby from the closet and started dressing to go out, “Nick?” she called out, expecting him to ignore her.

“Yes?” he replied as he buttoned his coat.

“How did you find it?”

Nick stopped with his hand on the doorknob and turned back to look at Charlotte, tears running down her face looking completely lost sitting on the bed, “Cufflinks, my dear. Cufflinks,” was all he said before heading out the door.

Charlotte immediately knew what he meant. She had wondered what had taken him so long looking for his cufflinks, and his demeanour suddenly had changed that night but she never thought that maybe he’d found out. It never occurred to her that she could be found out. She knew now though that Nick had gone almost a month with the knowledge looming over his head and she started to understand why he did what he did. If she had never met Sue then the thought of using something like that diaphragm would have never crossed her mind, and he knew that. He knew her. He got Sue out of the way in the hopes that he could have that Charlotte back and the thought killed her because even though it would hurt her it showed her how much he loved her. He was willing to send a woman he hardly knew to prison because he thought he was helping his marriage. Without Sue she’d have gotten pregnant long ago and ended her charade, and she was starting to think that may have been a better idea. 

Two lies were just too complicated. Now she was down to one, but her dedication was beginning to waiver. No Sue meant zero help hiding her schooling, so she made herself a promise. She would give it another month and if she couldn’t manage it then she would be done with it. She knew there was no risk she’d get pregnant in that time because Nick was obviously taking a self imposed break to be celibate.

February 28th was the deadline. If she couldn’t get dinner on the table, study, pass in assignments, do the required reading and make her husband the happiest man on the planet then it was done, no more Charles Russell, no more Cambridge.

Carefully and with excellent penmanship Charlotte finished up her letter, signed the bottom then looked to the calendar so she could date it.

February 28th, 1890 she scripted at the top of the paper with a sigh. As soon as she gave all of her teachers her letters of withdrawal it would be over. She had found out a lot sooner than she’d planned that her dream of what going to University was supposed to be, really wasn’t what it was. She had to face the facts that the other students were smarter than she was. They worked harder to get where they were and they deserved it more than she did. Her questions over a year ago of wanting to know why snow fell and what it was made of were never found out for the simple reason that upon entrance into the program a student was expected to know “basic”, “elementary” science like that. All of that was learned in prep school, so maybe that’s what she should have been striving for all along. She would have been better off going to women’s college and at least learning something. Instead she struggled, and was confused from her first class to her last. The only thing she was taking away from it all was shame. 

Things with Nick had started to finally look up during the past month. At first he couldn’t even look at her and would spend his evenings drinking at the pub with his University friends, but slowly he started to come around. He was now talking to her, and every now and then they would fall back into their familiar banter. She almost jumped for joy when he held his arm out for her while they walked to church past Sunday because it meant that he was finally ready to let her touch him and she couldn’t have been more grateful. He was another reason why she knew this all had to end, she had to be able to concentrate solely on Nick and stop thinking about herself for a while. She couldn’t believe that she had actually thought she would make it four whole years keeping up her elaborate plot. The only way it could have would be if she was single, but unmarried she would have never made it there. It was obviously not meant to be. 

Her first class of the day and her first departure from school was the literature course that she shared with Nick. Her plan was to attend her final class as sort of a goodbye then on the way out deliver the letter to the teacher and be done with it. For the first time ever she got to the classroom early, taking a seat near the front so she could hear the teacher better. She had sat at the very back to avoid Nick for so long that she was fairly sure she’d missed everything the man had said and judging by her grade that was the case. 

“Good morning everyone...” the Professor greeted as he walked in and almost immediately people started to settle into their seats. 

Charlotte did a quick glance around the room, seeing Nick up near the back quickly finishing up a conversation with the man beside him. She was thankful; all she needed was for him to sit next to her on her last day. 

The professor quickly got into his discussion and she was glad she finally got to hear it because he was a wonderful speaker. About an hour into the class there was a knock on the lecture hall door and the Dean of the University walked in flanked by two men in suits who Charlotte didn’t recognize. She wondered what was going on as the Dean spoke with the instructor then they quickly glanced around the room. 

Her heart jumped in her throat as the professor turned straight to her and pointed then they beckoned her to come down. She was glued to her seat, petrified of what was about to happen. It took a while but she was finally able to stand and make her way down to the front of the class, trying not to let her hands shake uncontrollably as she walked the stairs then bowed her head slightly in front of the Dean to recognize his authority.

“Are you Charles Russell?” Dean Downing questioned in a voice void of any emotion.

“Yes sir. What seems to be the problem?” 

Turning away from her, the Dean then addressed the classroom, “Gentlemen, we have been alerted to the fact that there is an impostor among you.”

All of the men in the room started looking around, wondering who was the person in reference. 

Charlotte couldn’t believe it, it was her last day. Her last day and she’d been caught! She went all that time scot-free and now they had finally caught up with her on the day that was supposed to be her final goodbye. She only wondered what was going to happen whether they would just ask her to leave or whether this was quite possibly her last day of her marriage as well.

“This man right here,” the Dean pointed to Charlotte whilst one of the suited men approached her, “Is actually a woman,” he revealed while at the same time the man behind her pulled off her wig then tore her fake moustache from her face to reveal her to everyone. 

The entire classroom gasped then went dead silent, and it was a lone voice from the back that could be heard over all the rest, a man named James who, aside from only one other person, was the most shocked in the room.

“Nick, that’s your wife!” James exclaimed, his eyes wide as he turned to his friend who sat stone faced and pale as a ghost beside him. 

“What did you just say?” Dean Downing questioned, looking up at James.

“Sorry Sir, but that’s his wife,” James repeated, pointing to Nick before slinking down in his seat. 

“What’s your name?” the Dean asked, now addressing the blonde who looked like he might pass out at any moment.

“Nick Carter, Sir,” Nick finally found the ability to reply, feeling like he was in some sort of haze, like in a few moments he would wake up and find out everything had been a dream and he wasn’t even married and hadn’t started school yet. 

“That explains a lot,” one of the suited men replied. He was a large, portly man in a black suit with burgundy red vest and Nick could only imagine what kind of high ranking official this man was to be dressed as finely as he was.

Dean Downing pointed to Nick again, calling him forward with a flick of his wrist, “Bring your things,” he instructed then roughly grabbed Charlotte by the arm to lead her from the room. 

Everyone was still dumbfounded as Nick scrambled to get his books together, leaving behind his pen and ink before chasing the suited men, the Dean and Charles, his wife, down the hallway. By the time he caught up they had already entered the Dean’s office and he knocked lightly before being allowed to enter. He took off his hat and walked into the office, noticing that Charlotte was sitting in a chair in front of the desk with the portly man, who he would soon discover was the town magistrate, and the other suited man standing ominously behind her. 

“I wonder,” Dean Downing mused as Nick walked in, motioning for him to take the other seat in front of his desk, “If you might explain something to me.”

“Sir, I don’t know how I could explain anything I…” Nick had to stop to take a deep breath, his hands running through his hair, “I was as unaware as you!”

“I find that very difficult to believe,” the Dean remarked, putting a beige coloured folder down on the desk in front of Nick, sliding it towards him.

Nick looked at the man inquisitively, taking the folder away from him. He opened it and immediately realized that it was his school folder, the same thing he’d had to submit when he applied to the school with all of his information. As he got through the application though his eyes widened, this wasn’t his school folder; this was Charles Russell’s school folder. He shifted back through the pages again, almost compelled to check and see if every single word was copied from his own transcripts. Every grade, every class, every letter of recommendation they were the exact same as his. He couldn’t figure out how Charlotte would have gotten a hold of a lot of that information unless she’d gone through the originals that he had at his parent’s home.

Nick looked back up to the Dean with pleading eyes, “I swear to you Sir I knew nothing of this.”

Charlotte felt horrible that Nick was being blamed so she decided to pipe up, “It’s true! He didn’t...“ Nick’s hand clamping down over her mouth stopped her from finishing her statement and she gasped at how tight he gripped her jaw for a quick moment.

“You don’t get to speak,” Nick said viciously, “Every word out of your mouth is a lie so the last thing I want is for you to go trying to defend me. I’m very capable of handling this myself because I’m not a liar,” he breathed, calming himself before turning his attention back to the rest of the room, “I reiterate to you Sir that I was unaware. I’m just a lowly sheep and she’s the wolf.”

The Dean was surprised by Nick’s outburst but couldn’t say he blamed him. He believed the boy when he said that he was innocent in the entire affair and was now certain of it, “I believe you,” he spoke and Nick turned away from Charlotte, “Now we have the problem of what to do about this matter.”

“I can assure you,” Nick spoke confidently, “that she’ll be punished. Something like this will never happen again! It was only a few classes right?”

“A few classes?” the Dean asked with a hearty chuckle, “Mr. Carter your wife has certainly pulled the wool over your eyes because she’s been regularly attending classes since the beginning of October.”

Whatever colour was left in Nick’s face was now gone and he blinked slowly, trying to allow his brain to process all of the information. Suddenly things started to make sense, the letters, her visit in March, and her insistence on living close to the school, late night reading, spending extended periods of time with Sue, staying suspiciously for the week of exams when he was ill, and the cufflinks. Everything that had happened since the Christmas that he decided to finally chat her up was a lie. Their marriage was a lie, her love was a lie, and every gift she’d given him was all part of her fraud. 

“And punished she certainly will be!” the portly man suddenly spoke, introducing himself as Stuart Jameson, town magistrate, “We can’t let offences like this go with impunity. Look at what has been happening in the past few months; we’ve had women getting arrested by London Police, running around staging protests, it is deplorable! The town is getting a bad name, we need to make an example of people so that in the future no one will try this again!”

“I don’t understand,” Nick admitted. His mind was full of so many things he could hardly take in any more.

“It is illegal for a woman to attend an all male University, it is illegal to pose as someone you are not, it is illegal to produce fraudulent identification, and I intend to have Mrs. Carter stand trial for all of those charges,” Mr. Jameson explained, his chest puffed out proudly as if he’d just revealed the true identify of Jack the Ripper. 

Nick sighed and looked down at his wedding band, wanting to take it off and throw it at Charlotte for being so stupid. She was about to get herself thrown in a workhouse all because she wanted to play dress up and pretend she was important. If he tried to defend her or convince Jameson not to try her then he would come off as a hypocrite and he refused to dent his reputation any more than it already had been. He had been strict when it came to Sue’s offences and by numbers alone Charlotte had surpassed her. He had to support the decision that the magistrate and the University was making to have a trial. 

“Sirs, would you please allow me a moment to speak with my wife privately?” Nick asked, looking between the three men who were in the room for their approval.

“Of course,” the Dean nodded and ushered the others out of his office to give Nick a few minutes.

The first few seconds were silent then Nick slowly turned to the woman sitting next to him, not knowing if he could even call her his wife because he didn’t seem to know who she was, “What have you done?” he fretted.

“I don’t know what to say,” Charlotte admitted through tears, her spirit completely broken. She felt like she’d failed everyone, and couldn’t stand to think that because of her Nick would probably have a poor reputation for the rest of his schooling. 

“Who are you?” he asked plainly.

“I’m Charlotte! Your wife, your friend, the person who you’ve known since you were a boy! I’m the same girl!” 

Nick could feel the tears burning in the back of his eyes but he resisted, not letting them fall, “You’re a fraud,” he whispered, “You’re no one, you’re nothing.”

“Don’t say that,” Charlotte pleaded, not knowing if she would be able to handle going through a trial and potentially a workhouse service without knowing he was going to be there when it was all over.

“You tricked me into loving you while you stole my life out from under me! Those references, those grades, those were not yours to take! I earned those! I worked hard every day of my life to make it so I could go to this school and you took all that to use for your entertainment! I was never anything but kind to you and you stabbed me in the back! You know why you had to steal all that information from me to get into this school? It’s not because you’re a woman and they won’t let you attend, it’s not that you didn’t have as many opportunities as some people, it’s none of that, you had to take it because you could have never earned it on your own. Never! You’re not smart enough to go to this school, you have never deserved to. Even if you were a man I would tell you that you lacked the intelligence,” Nick spat, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute as he fought to control his temper that was about to burst like a jar full of hornets. 

Charlotte knew he was absolutely right. He could have told her she wouldn’t have been successful before she even tried but he was too nice, he let her think she could do whatever she wanted when he always carried the knowledge that she just wasn’t smart enough. She wondered how often he had to dumb things down so that she would understand, but one thing she knew for certain was that he honestly believed that she didn’t love him.

“I know you’re smarter than me, I know your vocabulary surpasses mine, and your ideas are far more complex but if there is anything in the world that I know, and know without a doubt it’s that I do love you!” she protested, “All of that was true!”

“To me, not a word you’ve spoken since the day you came to see me last spring has been the truth. You won’t be able to convince me otherwise, and you won’t be able to put it right.”

“Will you at least come to the trial?” she asked, needing him to be there for her own sanity.

“Of course,” Nick agreed, “I’ll be there, and I won’t pity you. Unfortunately you’ll just have to deal with whatever that man out there thinks you deserve and to be honest with you judging by his disposition I don’t think it’s going to turn out well.”

“Don’t say that,” she cried, shaking her head at him, “Underneath all of your anger I know you still love me that doesn’t just go away!”

“Right now,” Nick sighed, “I feel absolutely nothing for you. Not love, not anger, not sympathy. Nothing, at all.”

Charlotte was lost. She had destroyed everything dear to her for the sake of her own personal satisfaction and now she was going to pay with potentially years of her life. She had expected if she got caught that the results would be a slap on the wrist and maybe some public embarrassment but prison? She had lost Nick forever, and would now be putting her family to shame. She wondered if they would ever speak to her again after this was all said and done. She wondered how she would even let them know.

“Will you send a telegram to my parents and let them know what’s going on?” she asked, hoping Nick would provide her with one last favour.

“Of course,” he nodded, “I don’t know what I’m going to say, but I’ll tell them.”

“Nick,” Charlotte whispered as she wiped tears from her eyes. She wanted to reach out and touch him but knew he would only pull away, “Will you ever be able to forgive me?” 

He thought long and hard, almost making her believe he wasn’t going to answer at all. Nick ran a hand through his blonde locks, pulling on the ends slightly as he really examined what his answer to that question would be, “Maybe someday I’ll be able to forgive you,” he finally answered, nodding his head slightly, “but I can tell you I will never in my life forget your betrayal.” 

At his words Charlotte didn’t care if they sent her to prison or sent her to hang because her life as she knew it was over.

“We should really get going,” James suggested as he looked at the time on his pocket watch. He had been trying to get Nick motivated for the past half hour otherwise they were going to be late for Charlotte’s court appearance. 

“I don’t want to go,” Nick said dryly, moving a biscuit around the plate in front of him.

James cringed and ran a hand across his long brown hair, “You really should, it’s going to look bad if you don’t go.”

“It’s going to look bad?” Nick laughed bitterly, “It’s going to look bad if I don’t show up at the court house today to see my wife stand trial for a slew of unjust charges? I think it may have started to look bad around the time that she paraded about dressed like a man and made a complete fool out of me.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” James reasoned with his friend, knowing he had been going through a tough time, “In fact, it would be better if you didn’t say anything. At least go to find out what is going to happen. Worst case scenario he sends her to a work house for six months because of the mockery she’s made of the whole town, but should that happen you should be there.”

“You’re right,” Nick sighed. 

The whole situation with Charlotte had become somewhat of a nuisance. The day that she had been caught was the last time he’d seen her because Stuart Jameson had declared that there was a high risk that Charlotte would run so she was being kept under the watchful eye of the magistrate’s wife in the town jail, which he knew was just a ploy to make her look guiltier. The man had gone way too far with his accusations but the only people who seemed to feel that way were Nick and James. As soon as people in the town caught wind of what Charlotte had been up to they were furious. Nick thought for sure they’d show up at the courthouse with pitchforks demanding that she be hung for her crimes. The men were offended that a woman had the audacity (and the skill) to trick them for so long and the women were angry that it wasn’t them who had tried it first. Their rage had just been fuelled by Charlotte’s declaration of innocence, and now Jameson could very well charge her with murder should he desire and people would support him every step of the way whether there was evidence or not. It was a twisted system where one man was police, judge, and jury for an entire town. 

One of the reasons Nick was so hesitant to go to the courthouse was that he felt partially responsible. At first he felt that way because it had been he who encouraged Charlotte to achieve her goals, but then as the rumours started and things began to unfold he was far guiltier. When Sue was arrested she was immediately taken to a workhouse in London where she and the other members of her group were being held. They had demanded she give them the whereabouts of the group’s leader, and the names of other members. Sue, to avoid any further pressure from the police gave them the only name she was willing to, but unfortunately it happened to be Charlotte’s. She told the police that a girl masquerading as a man had been a supporter and member of the League and that she was attending classes at Cambridge. She also told them how Charlotte had managed to get into the school, which is what brought him into the whole mess.

The police immediately notified the Dean, who pulled the two files (Nick’s and Charles’) and found them to be absolutely identical. The school was so impressed with Charles Russell’s credentials that they never thought they could belong to anyone else. After all, the copies were so perfect; one would think a professional counterfeiter had done them. In fact, when one of the professors (a self proclaimed expert in forgeries) had taken a look at them he was about to suggest that instead of taking her to court they should give Charlotte a job because he’d never seen copies so good. 

Nick wasn’t sure whether or not Charlotte was aware of who gave her up, but he felt sorry for her that she put all of her trust in a woman that would so easily turn around and stab her in the back. All of those facts were to be presented as evidence against Charlotte, and Nick knew that had he never found out about the diaphragm or if he had just left well enough alone then they wouldn’t be in the mess they were in. He wanted to hate Charlotte, and his outward appearance portrayed that but inside he wanted to tell her he still loved her, just forget about everything that had happened and move on. 

“We need to go,” Jason stressed, pulling on Nick’s arm.

The two of them walked briskly down the street towards the town hall that doubled as a courthouse when the opportunity arose. Nick was truly surprised at how many people had showed up to watch and he knew that none of them were there to support his wife. They all gave him looks as he entered and headed towards the two seats that had been specifically saved for him. Stuart Jameson had asked him to attend and had asked him to speak on Charlotte’s behalf but he wanted to do neither. In fact, he still wasn’t completely sure why he was even there. 

“Everyone come to order!” 

Nick looked up to the neatly dressed man at the front of the room who he recognized as Stuart Jameson’s assistant. He yelled until finally everyone settled down and was quiet while Jameson and Charlotte entered the room. 

Nick avoided her stare, not wanting to catch eyes with her because he knew he wouldn’t be able to not be sympathetic. She looked clean and fed and was dressed in a plain black dress so Nick knew that it was given to her by someone, and she was being forced to wear it since she would never own a colour as offensive as black. 

They asked her questions about what she did, how she did it, what people helped her, and why she thought she would get away with it. Nick didn’t listen to the answers because the hint of fear in Charlotte’s normally confident voice sent shivers down his spine. He wanted to leave more and more because his defences were being broken. 

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Jameson asked, glaring down at Charlotte as if she were as small as an ant, ready to be squashed.

Charlotte took a deep breath and glanced over at Nick quickly before turning to face the magistrate, “I think it would be best if at this point I said no more. I answered your questions as truthfully as I possibly could and now I think I’ve done enough talking. Besides, the only person I want to defend myself to won’t believe me anyway.”

All eyes immediately turned to Nick, including Stuart Jameson’s, “Mr. Carter, would you like to make a statement on your wife’s behalf? After all, you were a victim in all of this as well; this should be your moment to give us your recommendation.”

“Don’t say anything,” James whispered, afraid of what was going to come out of Nick’s mouth as he watched the wheels turn in his friend’s head. 

Nick stood, standing straight and tall, making him seem more secure as he stood in front of almost the entire town. At first he was going to take James’ advice, not say anything, and leave the decision up to everyone else. Then his plan had been to tell them to cart her away so he didn’t have to feel so guilty any longer, but he wasn’t sure that was the right thing either. He wasn’t sure what was right at all. He was at a crossroads between whether he should condemn Charlotte for her lies or forgive her, or maybe something in between. 

“Well?” Jameson prodded, anxious to hear what Nick had to say since he was sure the young man would side with the rest of them since he’d been made a fool of as well.

Nick breathed deeply and addressed everyone, “I’m very sorry that you’re all so upset right now because of my wife’s actions. I understand that she crossed the line, and maybe trusted the wrong types of people, but I somehow see that in her naivety she thought that this wouldn’t affect anyone but herself and as we can all see today that assumption was wrong. Many of you are hurt, and offended, and I know exactly how you feel because I’m right there with you. I want so badly to stand in front of you today and tell you that my wife deserves all the harsh words and treatment that she’s been given so far but I can’t. I’m sure every one of you at one point in your life has had a dream to one day accomplish something that you could be proud of. For me it is…rather, was, to become an archaeologist. For some people it’s to paint, or write a symphony, be a doctor, or raise a family, but like it or not, we all have dreams and sometimes they can lead us astray. We can be blinded by our desires to the point that we would lie and deceive for them, but in the end we’re only human beings and all we have is each other. All I can offer you today is one simple thing; just one thing can make this all go away and prevent any more heartache. No more lies, no more embarrassment, gone will be the shame on the town, and gone will we be.”

James groaned and ran a hand over his face, knowing that Nick should have never opened his mouth because in his attempts to save Charlotte from her broken dreams he’d just broken his own. 

Nick turned to the front to face the magistrate, and Charlotte before beginning again, “My recommendation to you Sir is that you let us leave. Let me take my wife and our things and never come back here again. You said you wanted to make an example and I think you’ve made a fine one. People now know that embarrassing this town can result in a prison sentence and endless amounts of ridicule from everyone else. People aren’t going to try it again because now they know it won’t work. Just please, let us go and a few months from now you won’t even remember our names.”

Charlotte sobbed at his words, touched in ways she could not even begin to describe. He had thrown everything away for her, he’d saved her, and after everything that she’d done to him since the moment they’d connected. She was never going to be able to repay her debt to him. 

Stuart Jameson on the other hand was less than pleased with Nick’s speech. He wanted the husband to side with him so he could send Charlotte off to a workhouse and show the people how dangerous it was to try and toy with Stuart Jameson! He was seething, and glared at the lanky blonde before addressing the courtroom.

“I’ll leave it up to you,” he declared, “It’s you people here who were betrayed, and now it’s in your hands to decide her fate. Those who approve of Mr. Carter’s recommendation say aye!” 

Expecting no one to comply he motioned to his assistant but slowly people in the room started shouting out aye and raising their hands as if Nick Carter had just put a spell over all of them with his words. His mouth dropped and he did a quick glance around the space, seeing that almost every single person had agreed to Nick’s conditions. He absolutely couldn’t believe it! A moment ago these people had been asking for her head and now they were going to let her leave? They weren’t supposed to change their minds!

“I cannot believe this,” Jameson voiced, shaking his head, “How can you look past this girl’s offences? You all know I could easily overturn your decision but I am a fair and honest man, good to all of you so I’ll uphold it. Mr. Carter you and your wife have until tomorrow morning to pack your things, tie up loose ends and be on a train out of here.”

Nick let out the deep breath he’d been holding, astonished that the magistrate had gone with the public’s decision. He knew the only reason he didn’t was because he couldn’t afford to been seen as the type of man who would go against what they wanted. That would make everyone in town feel vulnerable, and not trust him. The moment people were released from the courtroom he bolted out of there as fast as he could, heading towards their flat so they could pack and get the hell out of there. 

“I can’t believe you just did that!” James yelled, catching up to him as he walked briskly down the sidewalk, “What about school?”

Nick rolled his eyes and sighed, “They were going to expel me anyway! Professor Flaherty told me in confidence that he attended a meeting where they’d decided that I was a stain on the name of the school and that as soon as the whole thing had settled down with Charlotte they were going to ask me to leave.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” James questioned, surprised that his friend would keep that away from him.

Nick stopped on the side of the road and looked at James apologetically, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know if I was going to just go or wait until they made me. I kind of made my decision on the spot when I was in there. I figured I might as well go out in style.”

James grinned and brushed his dark hair back, “I’m going to miss you. My life definitely has been more interesting.”

“You’re telling me,” Nick chuckled and they began their walk again.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Charlotte?” James wondered, eyeing the newly released girl walking far behind them down the street, “She looks kind of sad back there.”

“She knows where we live,” Nick replied stiffly and kept walking, not even looking back to see if Charlotte was following. 

James gave Nick a questioning glance, as they reached the flat, “I’m getting the feeling that your decision didn’t include reconciliation?”

“You see that woman over there?” Nick asked, pointing to Charlotte, as she walked with her head down, slowly meandering up the street, “I don’t know her, so there’s nothing for us to reconcile. I did her a favour that was all.”

“I understand,” James nodded, “I guess this is goodbye then?”

“I’ll write,” Nick assured him, and they shook hands before James headed towards his own home and Nick went up to grab their stuff. He had already packed everything because no matter what happened he had planned on leaving. He told James he wasn’t sure what his decision was going to be but in reality he knew he couldn’t stay. He didn’t want any more embarrassment and staying there was only going to be harder than leaving would be. They didn’t have much, only clothes and a few trinkets, but Nick was sure to pack everything Charlotte had ever given him into her cases because he wasn’t interested in any of it anymore. 

He had settled with Mrs. Figs, and said goodbye to anyone who mattered to him, so it was time to leave. Nick had made it halfway down the stairs with the cases before Charlotte caught up to him. He didn’t say much to her, just handed her the two suitcases with her things and motioned to the door. 

“We’re leaving already?” she asked, surprised that Nick had managed to get everything packed so quickly.

“Why wait until morning?” he reiterated, making a beeline for the door. He wanted to get to the train station as soon as possible so they wouldn’t miss the afternoon train. They’d have to make an extra connection for leaving in the middle of the day but Nick had been anticipating it. If they waited and missed the midday train then he would have to go back later on and he wasn’t about to wait, not after everything he’d been through. 

Charlotte was quiet through their walk, ignoring the stares of people as they walked quickly down the street with suitcases in hand. She was afraid to talk to Nick since he still seemed very upset with her (with good reason). It was like he couldn’t stand to be there anymore the way he walked with such determination, and she didn’t blame him. She didn’t know what he’d experienced while she was gone but she wanted to leave more than anything in the world. It was an understatement to say that she’d learned her lesson. Now though, she had paid the price of her selfishness and was ready to show Nick that she really loved him. 

She waited patiently at the train station as Nick got their tickets and she looked forward to seeing her family and just hiding away for a while. 

“We are going home, right?” she asked as Nick walked out of the station, tucking the tickets into his jacket pocket. He didn’t say anything, just nodded and Charlotte got the feeling that he was hiding something. She of course had no place to accuse him of such but he was definitely saying a lot less than he knew. 

The train was on time, and they boarded quickly, stowing their things away in the baggage compartment. Charlotte found their seats while Nick had their tickets checked and it seemed like mere seconds had passed before they were on their way. It felt like it had only been a few hours since she was pleaded for her freedom and now there they were sitting on a train headed home and Charlotte was petrified to even look at her husband let alone speak to him. 

“Do you believe what you said?” she finally spoke up, looking out the window of the train, “That in the end I’m only a human being blinded by my desires?”

Nick was surprised to hear her speak and looking over, watching her for a brief moment as she gazed out the glass, “Of course I believe it, I said it. That certainly can’t be your excuse though. Just because I believe you were possessed by your own greed, doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you for it. I only see how and why it all happened. I told those people to let us leave, not to grant you absolution for your actions.”

Charlotte’s chin quivered and she fought to remain her composure, “Things were getting better though weren’t they? Before all of this happened I felt like we were really fixing things.”

“I really tried Charlotte,” Nick admitted with a sigh, “I don’t know how but I dug down deep to forgive you for everything that happened around New Year’s and I also thought things were getting better. I was feeling better about you, about us…about me. When this thing with the school happened though, I lost it. I honestly don’t know you. The person you’ve been with me since the summer is not the real you. It was the person you were pretending to be so you didn’t get caught being someone else. It’s confusing to even think about. I’m starting to forget who I am though. I feel like I’m just an appendage to you. People see you and everything you’ve done then I’m just there on the side being helpless. That’s not the type of person I want to be. Right now I can’t be that person with you.”

“What are you saying?” she asked, wiping away a stray tear while fearing for the very worst.

Nick took a good long look at her; from her pretty green eyes to her long brown hair she was the picture of beauty. What man would possibly want to turn down a lifetime spent with her? He wished he could use leaving as a fresh start for their marriage but he felt like he was losing his mind, and it was time to reassure himself of who he was. He wasn’t the heartless, angry person she’d made him become.

“I’m not getting off with you,” Nick finally admitted, “When the train stops for the connection you’ll be going on home without me.”

“What?” Charlotte gasped, “But…where will you go?”

“I can’t tell you that,” he told her with a tinge of sadness in his tone. He did have a heart and he didn’t want to upset her, “I need to do this for me. I’ve lost everything I thought I ever had. You following your dream cost me mine. I need time to recuperate because right now I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you, and I do want to.”

“What about me?” Charlotte whispered through her tears.

“I’m sorry, but you never thought about me for a second when you started all of this. You can go home, and I’m sure you’ll find something to occupy your time.”

Charlotte so badly wanted to tell him it wasn’t fair, stomp her feet and throw a fit but she knew that he was absolutely right. In the grand scheme of things she hadn’t thought about what was going to happen to him, and now he was giving her the same treatment. She should just be thankful that he saved her so she was able to be sitting on that train on her way home. 

“Can I please write to you?” she asked politely.

Nick chuckled, “That’s what got us into this mess in the first place. I think it would be best if we didn’t write.”

“How will I know where you are, and what you’re doing and whether or not you’re okay?” Charlotte demanded to know, not liking the mystery that Nick was leaving. 

“You won’t. Maybe I’ll write my mother and she can tell you, but maybe I won’t,” he shrugged.

Charlotte nodded reluctantly, “When are you coming back?”

“I might never come back,” Nick admitted to her, not knowing at all what the future had in store for him. 

“I’ll have to wait for you forever then,” Charlotte swore, putting her hand over her heart so he knew she was serious. 

“Hopefully it won’t have to be that long,” Nick told her honestly then leaned over to gently kiss her forehead, not wanting to say goodbye since he wasn’t sure at that point whether he would ever care to see her again, or whether he would have gotten over the whole mess in a short time. Either way he was looking forward to the new stage in his life, and prayed that Charlotte made the best of her time while he was gone.

Charlotte slowly rubbed her hands together, trying to keep her composure. The past six months had been the most difficult of her entire life. She had learned things about herself, and now about her family that she didn’t particularly like. 

“Charlotte what seems to be the matter?” her mother asked, wondering why the girl looked as if steam was about to begin to pour from her ears. 

The younger woman took a deep breath, grinding her teeth together to keep herself from crying, “This is the matter!” she finally snapped, throwing an envelope onto the table in anger. 

Thomas signed and ran a hand over his over his beard, hoping that Charlotte would have never found out about their secret correspondence, “I’m sorry dear, but he asked that we not say anything.”

“Where’s the letter?” Charlotte demanded to know, showing them that the envelope was in fact empty. 

“We burned it,” her father said and she knew that he was telling the truth. 

Charlotte was silent for a moment then slammed her hand down on the table with a loud crack, “How could you do this? I’ve suffered every single day for the past six months because of all of this and you were writing him!”

“He wrote to us,” Ann corrected, not wanting Charlotte to get the wrong idea.

“What would he write to you for?” 

“For money,” Thomas answered, “He wrote to us because he needed some money.”

“And did you send it?”

Ann looked at her daughter with a tinge of regret and rested her hand on Charlotte’s forearm, “Of course we did Charlotte. He’s family, and we know his parents are struggling so we wanted to help him out.”

“You sent him money,” Charlotte spat, running her hands through her hair, pulling the ends slightly in frustration, “I’ve been dying here waiting for him to come back and you’re giving him every reason to stay away by funding his little escapade!”

“He has more reasons to stay away than just some money we sent him to get on his feet,” Thomas grumbled and shook his head, “You make it seem as if you’ve been so put off by all of this. Did you think that he was just going to let it all go and let things go back to how you wanted them to be? You know, you didn’t just lie to Nick you lied to all of us. The rest of us have somewhat managed to brush our anger towards you to the side and realize that it’s between the two of you. But I think it’s time that you realize that it’s between the two of you. You may have gotten over it and are ready to move on but he obviously is not. Nick deserves time to himself, time to figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life because everything he’d ever wanted is gone!”

Charlotte scoffed, “You’re on his side? You’re making it seem as if he’s your child instead of me!”

“He is our nephew as well as our son-in-law,” her father said sternly, making it painfully clear that there was no disputing that, “He has never done anything wrong in my eyes. He was a good provider, a good husband, and a good man who was taken advantage of for your entertainment.”

“Well if he wasn’t so damn boring, maybe I wouldn’t have had to entertain myself in other ways!” Charlotte said spitefully, hating that everyone had been sitting around for the past six months whining about poor Nick, how he was so put off and so unfortunate to have found a girl like her. Poor Nick had to run away, poor Nick couldn’t stand to be around her anymore, poor Nick was denied his husbandly rights, poor Nick lost his very livelihood, poor Nick, poor Nick poor Nick. It disgusted her! There was never a poor Charlotte had to go to jail, and poor Charlotte was unjustly put on trial, no, instead it was poor Charlotte managed to screw up everything. She wanted someone, just someone to turn to her and tell her that she was forgiven, that they understood why she did what she did, and that Nick was lucky to have her, but no one did. No one really spoke to her that much apart from her brothers and her parents. 

“You don’t mean that,” Ann said softly, silently one of those people that Charlotte was wishing for. She did feel sorry for Charlotte. She felt sorry that the girl had gotten so mixed up that she didn’t know up from down and she understood the way things happened. She knew that once Charlotte was in she couldn’t get herself out until it was too late and she badly wanted to tell her she felt for her as well, but she needed to stand strong by her husband, which would be a lesson for her daughter if she knew how she really felt.

Charlotte pouted and stared down at the envelope before turning to speak to her mother in a hushed voice, “You’re right. I don’t mean that. I’m so completely lost without him. Mother, it may have seemed as if I pushed Nick aside but I really didn’t completely, I still needed him. I put up a front of independence but I secretly liked when he told me what to do. I wanted him to be the decision maker because I knew that he was so smart he would always make the right ones. People don’t seem to understand but Nick really is shy, that’s why sometimes I would overpower him but to tell you the truth he never really had that much to say, but when it came to making informed, calculated decisions there is no person I would turn to before him,” she rambled.

“I know this must be hard,” Ann consoled but Charlotte brushed her off.

“No, you don’t know how hard this is. You all are in support of Nick going off and finding himself but you don’t seem to realize that this is one decision that he made with clouded judgment! Nick leaving was not the right decision! By going away he isn’t going to be able to save what we have, he’s just going to sit and stew about how badly he was hurt day after day and build up even more resentment against me so that this will never be resolved! What he needed to do was stay so we could work it out together. I could give him space and be with him at the same time. No one seems to realize that no good is going to come out of any of this,” Charlotte declared, and she knew she had made a valid point when her mother had no reply. 

A cone of silence descended over the table and Charlotte flipped the envelope over her fingers, reading Nick’s impeccable cursive handwriting on the front with her parents address and on the back where he’d used his family’s address as the return. She looked at the Carter’s address long and hard before looking up back to her father, “He must have told you where to send the money. There was certainly no point in him sending a letter if he’s only at his parent’s.”

Thomas nodded his head, “Of course he did. He included the address in the letter, but like I told you that’s gone now.”

“Are you telling the truth?” she asked sceptically.

“Yes,” her father said with every ounce of honesty, “I don’t remember the details of the address; I merely copied it onto the new envelope then when I got rid of the letter so with it went the address.”

Charlotte sighed, defeated. Again she ran her hands through her hair, not knowing what more she could do. She supposed that she could go to her in-law’s and demand they tell her whether they knew where Nick was but it would be fruitless and only make them more upset with her. She excused herself from the table and headed outside, closing her eyes against the cool fall breeze. She had never expected Nick to be gone for so long, she had figured that after a few weeks he’d have come to his senses and headed back so they could sort things out, but then in the back of her mind she thought he might be gone forever. So, the reality of it was that he was somewhere in the middle of her expectations. 

Charlotte heard the door shut behind her and she resisted the urge to groan, she could only imagine who had come out to continue to berate her. Turning slightly she watched Mark sit on the edge of a planter and light up a cigarette before catching her eye. 

“What do you want? Come to make fun of me?” she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You know,” Mark began, taking a drag off his self-rolled cigarette, “I’ve never really liked Nick. Even from when we were kids he was always somewhat of a outsider, and I always assumed that he would get his fancy schooling and stay inside and read books for the rest of his life. He was a hermit in the making. It was impossible to get him to stop reading long enough to play a game, or go ruin something. He was never interested in having fun. I don’t even think I’d ever heard him laugh…until he started showing interest in you. I was surprised by him when you came home for Christmas, he was everything I thought he could never be and I think you brought that out in him.”

Charlotte looked up, surprised. She had expected her brother to rag on about how dull he thought Nick was not pay either of them any compliments.

“You seem like you might be meant for each other,” Mark continued, moving some dirt around on the ground with the tip of his shoe, “Which is why I think it’s appropriate to tell you that you’re looking in all the wrong places.”

“What?” Charlotte gasped, her eyes going wide, “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Mark cleared his throat, “Nick isn’t here anymore.”

She rolled her eyes, “Yes, I noticed that.”

Her brother sighed and rolled his right back, “No genius, he’s not in Britain anymore. He went home. If you want to find him, then you should start by getting a steamship ticket to America.”

“He’s in America?” Charlotte asked rhetorically, never having imagined that Nick would go to such lengths to get away, “How do you know?”

“I saw father writing the letter replying to Nick,” Mark explained, “I didn’t really see too much but I know he’s in America…in Maine. He must have told you the town where he lived before? Was it in Maine?”

“I can’t remember,” Charlotte whined, biting her thumb nail as she wracked her brain for how she might find out the information she needed, “Oh my god,” she gasped as a light went off in her head and ran over to hug her brother, “You’re a life saver!”

“You can thank me properly later,” Mark chuckled as Charlotte ran off to her bedroom.

Charlotte tore through the house and up to her bedroom, running immediately over to the trunk at the end of her bed. She tossed the blankets off of it and threw it open, grabbing a bunch of paper tied with a red bow from the depths. Beneath the ribbon was every single piece of correspondence that she and Nick had ever shared during his first two semesters of school before they’d gotten married. There was a letter where he’d told her a small bit about where he and her aunt and uncle used to live just after they’d adopted him. She knew the answer lie in that letter. 

She looked through every letter individually, reading carefully for the information she needed. It was the third letter she picked up that revealed what she had to do.

I sometimes miss Winter Harbor, Nick had written in a now all too familiar script, I miss the crisp air and salty smell of the sea; I think someday I’ll go back there. 

That settled it, she knew where he was, and he just had to be there! Now all she needed to do was figure out how to get to Winter Harbor, Maine when she didn’t even know where it was.

If there was any one thing that Charlotte was glad she’d done for the sake of her schemes it was save up her money. All of her money had been saved for her Cambridge tuition, and now it was just sitting there waiting to be spent, so when it was time to buy herself a ticket to America she was able to afford second class passage. It was the best twenty pounds she’d ever spent. The ride was long and she got sick a few times because of the boat rocking back and forth. She wasn’t sure how Nick had managed to do this so many times; back and forth from America to England in the most uncomfortable way. She thought that maybe her first boat ride wasn’t meant to be quite so long. On the plus side though, at least she wasn’t staying in steerage.

Charlotte disembarked when the ship docked briefly in Bar Harbor, Maine before it was meant to move on to New York. There she was, finally in America, almost to Nick, but the problem was still that she had no idea how to get to Nick’s from where she was. There was a long line of carriages all waiting to pick people up and she walked along them, not really knowing what she was looking for.

“Need a ride?” a voice called out and Charlotte turned in surprise at a man standing next to a carriage, adjusting his horse’s feedbag. He was a stocky man, very round, but very friendly looking. He had a warm smile and Charlotte couldn’t help but smile back.

“Are you taking fares?” she wondered, reaching out to pet the horse quickly.

“Absolutely, for a small price I’ll bring you in to Bar Harbor. It’s a bit of a walk from here, especially carrying your case there,” he explained.

“Actually, you might be able to help me. I need to get to Winter Harbor, do you know where that is? Is it close?”

“Winter Harbor?” the man chuckled, “There’s really not that much to see there, I hope that’s not where you’re vacationing?”

“So you know where it is?” Charlotte asked excitedly, a smile brightening up her face.

The driver nodded his head, “Of course, I live there. It’s not that close, about an hour’s ride. I can take you.”

“Thank you so much,” Charlotte smiled and the man helped her with her case then they set on their way to Winter Harbor much to the girl’s delight. She was so excited that not only did she find the right place to sail to (she bought a ticket for Maine, not for where she specifically needed to go) but she had met someone nice enough to take her to where Nick lived. The ride felt short and soon Charlotte was paying the man (a big profit for him because she had no American money and had no idea what the exchange was like on the shilling) and wandering the town in search of a clue. The driver was indeed right; the town was small but not as small as some of the towns she’d been to in Britain. Even Cambridge was smaller!

After walking for a while Charlotte stopped into a tea shop for a break and a snack, and to collect her thoughts before she went on the hunt. She had thought to ask around and see if maybe anyone knew Nick, but she was hesitant since she didn’t know what people were like. Obviously they were nice since Nick spoke so highly of them, but her parents had drilled it into her head for so long that Americans weren’t fond of the British, and that thinking had never left her even being married to one. She entered the quaint little tea shop, smiling at the nuances around the store that made it feel comfortable and like being at home. She looked over a small display of sweets and really realized just how hungry she was. 

“You should try the butter tarts, they’re amazing!”

Charlotte looked beside her and smiled at an elderly nun who had moved up beside her to also enjoy the view of the cakes and tarts, “I’ll keep that in mind,” she told her. As she went to walk away there was something about that nun that drew her attention, but she wasn’t entirely sure what it was, “Excuse me Sister, I don’t mean to offend but…you smell very familiar, is that…”

“Moth balls,” the nun answered with a chuckle, “No offence taken, it’s the truth. For some reason everything that comes out of our cedar chests at the orphanage smells more of moth balls than of cedar. You aren’t the first to tell me I smell like an attic.”

Charlotte couldn’t help but smile at the old woman’s wit, “That must be very common in this town.”

“Whatever do you mean?” 

“Well you see, my husband,” Charlotte paused, getting a strange feeling of déjà vu as she spoke, “My husband is from here, and always speaks of how his mother had the same smell before she died.”

The nun led Charlotte over to a table, inviting her to take a seat, “Would you mind if I asked who your husband is?”

“I don’t know if you’d know him,” Charlotte said modestly, “His name is Nick Carter.”

“Nickolas told me you hadn’t accompanied him, you must be Charlotte?” the Sister spoke and Charlotte’s eyes went wide when she realized that she was sitting with someone who not only knew Nick, but would know where to find him.

“Yes, I am! So you know him?! Who might you be?” the young girl questioned rapid fire. 

“I’m Sister Mary Agnes, but you can just call me Agnes,” she chuckled, “I’ve known Nick since he was a baby, except I knew him as Nickolas Patterson, his name before he was adopted by the Carters.”

“To be honest,” Charlotte sighed, “I didn’t accompany him here. We had a spat and he came here and I followed him. I’ve been trying to find him and didn’t even know where to start looking,” she explained then thought back to something Agnes had just said, “You said you’ve known him since he was a baby but he told me he only spent a few years in the orphanage which would mean he was six or seven.”

“What exactly did Nick tell you about his time at the orphanage?”

“Not very much,” Charlotte admitted, “Just a bit about his mother... the moth balls, he said that she was very sick and he thought she took too much medicine. Because of what happened to her he doesn’t trust doctors.”

Agnes sighed with a small smile on her face, not surprised that Nick wouldn’t be too open with the details about his childhood, “One morning the Reverend Mother and I were approached by a man to come take a child he’d found abandoned. I guess the child’s mother was in a bad place, and took her own life but not before trying to take the life of her baby, but somehow the baby survived. It was truly a miracle. At the time the orphanage was very small, and we didn’t have a lot of space, especially not for such a small baby so the Reverend Mother took it upon herself to care for the boy until someone wanted to adopt him, and he didn’t know any different. No one came to take him unfortunately and she grew so fond of him that even when he was old enough to go stay with the other boys she kept him as if he was her very own. He never realized that it wasn’t possible for her to have been his real mother until well after she passed. The poor boy was so lost without her, and resented the orphanage’s doctor who had been caring for her. She may not have been the greatest doctor, or even licensed, but she was all we could afford to keep on staff. He was lucky that it was only a few years before the Carter’s decided to take him. Most boys his age are never adopted.”

“The doctor was a woman?” Charlotte whispered, more to herself than anyone else as she realized why Nick felt the way he did on so many topics. He wanted women to have independence, and be strong just like the Reverend Mother had been but didn’t want the power to go to their head, like the female doctor who in his opinion, killed his mother, “Where is Nick now? Do you know where I can find him?”

“He’s probably at the school now,” Agnes said, taking a moment to think, “But he comes to church every morning so I can guarantee that at seven he’ll go visit the Reverend Mother’s grave.”

“Thank you so much,” Charlotte praised the woman, resisting the urge to reach across the table and hug her. They talked a little more about what Nick was like as a child, and then Agnes had to go back to the church. She had given Charlotte the name of a good place to stay for the night before she went to see Nick in the morning. 

To say she was nervous when the time finally came to get up and head to the church would be an understatement. She knew that anything could happen. Nick could put her back on a ship and send her back home or he could forgive her and they could both go back. It was all up in the air. 

The sun was barely peaking through the clouds as she made her way to the church and headed to the back where Agnes had instructed her. All of the breath left her as she turned the corner and saw Nick kneeling down in front of a headstone, brushing some leaves away that had blown on during the night. 

“You miss her?” Charlotte spoke as she approached him and she watched as his back stiffened at her voice.

“She was a great woman,” Nick replied before standing and brushing the dirt from the knees of his pants, “What are you doing here?”

“That’s not much of a greeting,” she said sarcastically, using his line against him. Nick rolled his eyes and cross his arms over his chest still waiting for an answer, “I came here so we could work things out!” 

“Who told you where I was?”

“No one did,” she said, making sure to cover everyone’s behinds so he couldn’t get mad, “I figured it out on my own.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Nick said, obviously not too happy to see her.

“Please Nick; we need to work this out. I miss you! Don’t you miss me?” 

Nick sighed and took off his hat so he could run a hand through his hair. He never thought that Charlotte would end up there. He knew it couldn’t have taken too long to find out where he was once she got into town since he knew pretty much everyone, “I’ve been doing well these past couple of months but I still haven’t figured out how to forgive you.”

“Then don’t,” Charlotte sighed, “All I want is to know where we stand! I understand you were embarrassed, but haven’t I been embarrassed enough in return? I’ve been punished for what I did, and I deserve an end to all of this too,” she said, waiting for his tirade about how wrong she was.

“You’re right,” he said and Charlotte looked up in shock. 

“What?”

“I said you’re right. You have been punished, and you’re going to have this follow you for the rest of your life so you are absolutely right you deserve closure. I’ve been really bull headed.”

Charlotte was happy to hear him say that, but didn’t have a good feeling about it, “Does that mean I’ll be heading back home by myself?”

“No,” Nick let out a frustrated breath and walked up to Charlotte, “One thing I have learned while I’ve been here is that I really do love you. I kept saying I didn’t know you but I do. When we were younger you obviously weren’t playing me and I’ve liked you for a long time no matter what I may have said to the contrary. I believe you when you say you were still you, and although there were a lot of lies clouding everything I could see the real you underneath. I can’t go back with you right now though. I’ve been accepted to a teaching college, I decided to become a teacher. I need to do something for me because everything has been for you for a long time.”

“So you’re saying you love me, and what? Does that mean you want to work things out?” she asked, secretly jumping for joy on the inside.

He took a long time to think about what she was asking and finally, he nodded, “For better or for worse, right?”

Charlotte squealed then threw her arms around his neck with excitement and he finally broke a smile and wrapped his arms around her back, hugging her tightly.

“I did miss you,” Nick finally admitted in a soft whisper and Charlotte couldn’t stop smiling.

Charlotte stared curiously out the window as the snow continued to pile up on their front lawn. Their front lawn, she couldn’t get enough of saying that she had a front lawn. Sure her parents had one that was technically hers, but it wasn’t theirs. This one was though. Their front lawn, their house, their furniture, it was all theirs. Nick was getting a little tired of her pointing those facts out time and time again. 

When they had reconciled she was surprised to find out that the money her parents had sent him had gone towards getting a house. He had no interest in renting and going through the joys of boarding again so he’d done what he had wanted to do from the day he left home and got himself a house. It was a small house, two bedrooms with a small garden out in front of the main window (when it wasn’t covered by a foot of snow). The house suited her so well Charlotte swore every day that Nick must have had her in mind when he was looking. The greatest thing about the house was that they had their very own indoor toilet, the latest of luxuries. She felt like some kind of princess every time she used it even though every person on their street had one too. 

She would have never imagined being able to afford something as lavish as their own house on their budget (their house) but given that the price of living in Winter Harbor was quite lower than in Cambridge they did it with ease. Charlotte gave the rest of her saved money to Nick to be put away and saved once again, his Cambridge money was being used on new tuition fees and he was happily working as a teacher’s assistant at a grammar school in their parish. It sort of felt like everything was working out for what seemed like the hundredth time, and no matter how hard she tried Charlotte kept waiting for the bottom to fall out. 

“Déjà vu,” Nick chuckled as he walked into the room and spotted Charlotte sitting on the window bench looking at the snow. 

“Why do you say that?” 

He sat down across from her, taking a moment to look out the window at the snow, “Coming in and seeing you here reminded me that Christmas when you told me you wouldn’t miss me if I were dead.”

“I only said that because I was jealous, I did like you,” Charlotte assured him again, having felt guilty for that statement since the second it came out of her mouth.

Nick smiled, “Yeah I figured that out when you said it, otherwise I probably would have been upset.”

She nodded, “You’re smart like that. I probably would have thought I was serious. This is a lot different than then though, so much more snow than we get at home.”

“Is home not where the heart is?” he wondered.

Charlotte sighed and played with the ends of her long hair, “This isn’t home for me it’s foreign. I feel kind of like I’m on vacation. All this snow, being the only person I’ve come across thus far with no accent…”

“With an accent,”

“With no accent,” she stressed then resumed her original statement, “I just feel like an outsider here. I haven’t really made any friends apart from you, and I knew you before plus... you have your own friends. Now I even have to get ready for a holiday that I’ve never even heard of.” 

“It’s called Thanksgiving,” Nick huffed, correcting her, “and it’s not like I’m asking a lot from you. It’s dinner for a few people.”

He was annoyed, she could tell. He spent a lot of time being annoyed but slowly he was getting used to being with her again and getting less bitter about the way she viewed things. Their reconciliation over the past month had not been easy; Charlotte was still trying to regain Nick’s trust. Sometimes he was more stubborn than others, depending on how he was feeling when he woke up that morning. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Charlotte muttered with a sigh, “I can’t help that I don’t fit in here.”

“You haven’t even tried!” Nick shook his head and crossed his arms across his chest, “You know this is a great chance for you too. No one here knows anything about you! For all they know we have the best relationship out of anyone. They don’t know about Cambridge, or Sue, or anything else.”

“I’m not supposed to be doing things for myself, remember?” 

Nick sighed and took her hand, rubbing his thumb over her palm. Charlotte was surprised by the sudden touch, not having gotten a lot from him while they tried to work things out, “To think that I want you to do everything for me and nothing for you makes me no better than your former self. I don’t want that. You need to do some things for you, it’s inevitable. Every person deserves to be happy and feel welcome where they live. If you feel like you’re not allowed to be happy then we’ll never work this out. I want us both to be happy; we both need it and deserve it. So, if you do things for me then I’ll do things for you and we’ll both do things for ourselves.”

“Do I still have to make Thanksgiving dinner?” she asked, trying to hide a smile.

“Yes,” Nick laughed, “It’ll be the beginning of a tradition, for both of us. If you do the cooking I promise you won’t have to entertain anyone.”

Charlotte nodded and put her free hand on top of his, “Sometimes I worry I don’t deserve you.”

“Why?” he wondered curiously.

“You always know what to say to make things better, you are so understanding, you’re just so perfect and I’m so flawed.”

“I’m not perfect,” Nick insisted, “I’m really not. My flaws are your perfections and vice versa. That’s why we belong together. I’ve proven in the past few months that I’m not the most understanding person. I can be stubborn, and unreasonable, an idiot from time to time just like everyone else. Besides, I steal most of my good lines from books.”

Charlotte gasped, “You steal them?”

Nick laughed, “No, but I don’t always know what to say, I just say what I feel.”

Charlotte slapped his arm lightly, “You’re always tricking me.”

“You’re one to talk,” he chuckled and Charlotte smiled back, glad to hear him finally joking about everything that happened. If he was able to turn his heartache into laughs then she knew they’d get through it all.

“Are we going to go home for Christmas?” Charlotte wondered as she drew her attention back outside to the ever falling snow.

Nick thought for a moment and with a deep sigh he shook his head, “I think we should stay here.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” he retorted, “If anyone wants to see us they can come here otherwise I’d like to for once avoid the awkwardness that is our usual holidays. Too many cousins and aunts and uncles and people who expect so much out of us, I can only imagine the kinds of questions they’d be asking if we did go.”

“Then obviously tradition isn’t very important to you after all,” Charlotte huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. She wanted to go home. She loved the house, all of ‘their’ things and everything else but she couldn’t fathom not spending Christmas with her entire family like she had done every year since she was born. She figured that Nick wanted to avoid the whole affair because he was embarrassed to face the barrage of questions that would surely come about the status of their relationship. 

Nick rolled his eyes behind her back, “If it’s that important to you then we’ll go.”

“Why are you even with me?” Charlotte retorted and his eyes widened at her words. 

“Where did that come from? Why are you asking all these questions? Are you trying to talk me out of being with you?”

“Of course not!” she shook her head, “I just want to know why I’m sitting here right now. Why did you even get back together with me? Are you only with me because you don’t believe in divorce? Everything I do you find annoying, everything I want to do is a nuisance, and generally I get the impression that I drive you insane.”

“How many times do I have to explain myself to you?” he demanded to know, “You do drive me insane! You drive me absolutely mad, but for some strange reason I can’t help myself from loving you! The assumptions you make about me should very well insult me but I know you’re just insecure. I’m not with you because I don’t believe in divorce. To be honest if you hadn’t come here on your own I don’t know how long it would have been until I came back, but I didn’t turn you away, I wouldn’t have turned you away! I’ve made my mistakes and you’ve made yours but I thought we were starting from scratch? I’ve really made an effort to let things go and I think you need to let them go also! If I’m able to forgive you for everything you’ve done then you need to believe that I want to be with you! You have no reason not to believe me.”

“You want to change everything,” Charlotte sighed, “and I just want things to be how they were before.”

“They can’t,” Nick said consolingly, “I’m not the one who made the decision that they can’t, that’s just the way it has to be. Life changes, people move on, and we need to move on. We need to make new lives for ourselves that are separate from the ones we had before. I can’t give you all the answers; I can only tell you what I know. One thing I know for certain is that you and I are destined to be together. Everything is pointing towards us being together. Do you believe in fate?”

Charlotte nodded, “Of course I do.”

“Well so do I, and after everything that happened it was fate that I moved here and found something I really loved, and fate that your brother told you I was here, fate that you met up with Sister Mary Agnes that day and found me. It was all meant to be. As much as I try to make it seem otherwise, I really wasn’t that happy here before you came. I would be happy at school and at work but when I got back here at night I was miserable. I didn’t want to buy furniture because I wanted your input, I didn’t want you to not like it. I need you to be there to make decisions like that. I need you.”

“You need me?” she smiled softly, and he once again took her hands with his.

“I do,” Nick nodded, “Like I said before in all the ways that I’m flawed you are perfect. I’m never going to find anyone else who will be able to put up with me the way you do, and you need me too I think. You need me to point you in the right direction.”

Charlotte moved forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Nick’s shoulders, “Thank you. You always know exactly what to say to put my mind at rest.”

“I love you,” he whispered softly in her ear, kissing the lobe gently.

“I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love you,” Charlotte replied and to her surprise Nick chuckled.

“I just had to tell you all that and you can’t even tell me how much you love me?” he joked, pulling back to look into her eyes.

“I can do better.”

“Oh?” he wondered, raising an eyebrow.

“I can show you,” Charlotte smiled devilishly and pulled him up by his shirt collar until he was standing. 

“I think I’d like that,” Nick grinned and ran a hand through his wife’s hair before kissing her passionately. She led him through the house, still pulling on his shirt until they got to their bedroom. 

Charlotte slowly undid Nick’s shirt, softly touching the flesh beneath as it was revealed, “I think I know something you’re going to love even more,” she chuckled and put his hands on her back where her dress was done up, “No corset.”

“Oh, do I ever love you,” Nick smiled and kissed her while his hands went to work on easily removing her dress. 

Soon they were lying against each other skin to skin on their small bed, Nick’s hands exploring every inch of Charlotte’s petite frame.

“Wait,” she whispered and he cocked his head to the side, wondering why she was stopping.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she smiled, pushing his blonde hair back from his eyes, “I just want to look at you for a second.”

“Be my guest,” Nick whispered, kissing her quickly.

“I have a feeling,” Charlotte said cryptically and Nick had to hold back his chuckles.

“You have a feeling? What kind of feeling?” he wondered.

“That this moment right now is the beginning of the rest of our lives.”

“What's special about this particular moment over others?”

She thought for a moment then shrugged while her hands rubbed his sides, “I don’t know. It’s just a feeling, but it’s a good one.”

“I think I might know why you have a good feeling,” he said slyly with a smile, not able to help himself. 

Charlotte rolled her eyes and slapped him on the shoulder playfully, “Not that kind of feeling. Just trust me, this moment will mean something someday.”

“I trust you,” he swore before leaning down to capture her lips with his once again.

“Good morning!” Charlotte bubbled cheerily, putting her basket down on the ground. 

“Morning Charlotte!” the older woman behind the counter greeted in return, “What can I get you today?”

“The usual,” Charlotte instructed, and the old vendor, Ruth, grinned knowingly.

“Bringing that husband of yours lunch again?” Ruth questioned as she moved about her small stand in the market, collecting rolls, cheeses and meats to make a good lunch. 

Charlotte nodded, “He’s been working really hard lately. After Christmas he’s going to be teaching his own class instead of just helping out and he’s really nervous. He’s been dividing his time between his own school work, assisting at the primary school and coming up with a lesson plan for his class.”

“I can’t imagine primary school students would require much of a lesson,” Ruth chuckled as she packed everything into the basket Charlotte had handed her. 

“Well, no,” Charlotte admitted sheepishly, her cheeks blushing slightly, “His students are going to be around 5 years old, so it will mostly be reading and comprehension.”

“5 years old?” Ruth asked in surprise, “People sure are sending kids to school young these days!”

Charlotte laughed and put some money into Ruth’s gloved hand, “Some parents are putting their children in school at 3 or 4. Times are changing Ruth, you’d better keep up!” 

“I’ll do my best,” Ruth grinned, “Now go deliver lunch before he wastes away, and if I don’t see you two, Merry Christmas!”

“Happy Christmas,” Charlotte returned with a smile then set off walking back through the market. It felt a little bit more like an England Christmas than a Maine one. The weather was cold, but very mild; the sun even felt a little hot hitting her face. The winter’s previous snow storms had all but melted, leaving just a small layer of snow and slush littering the ground. People in town kept saying they hoped it would snow and they could have a snowy Christmas but Charlotte had a theory that the weather was helping her through the fact that she wouldn’t be at home with her parents for the holiday. It was obviously impossible for the weather (or whomever was controlling it up there) to know that she was homesick, but she was sticking with her suspicions. 

A stand set off in the corner caught Charlotte’s attention and she made her way over, smiling at the man running the stand. It was very strange to see a stand like this one during the winter because it was full of fruits. 

“Would you like to try an apple?” the man asked, holding up a piece of a small apple that he’d cut off. 

“Sure,” Charlotte nodded and bit into the tart apple, “It’s good.”

“Maine apples,” he told her, putting a few of them in a bag for the young woman, “Here, my treat, you’ll fall so in love with them you won’t be able to stop eating them!” 

“Thank you!” Charlotte grinned and took the bag from the man. She chatted with him a little while longer then put the apples in her basket and returned to her mission of getting Nick his lunch. 

The primary school wasn’t far from the market, but she found herself walking faster as it got a little colder outside. Charlotte pulled her coat closer around her body, the wet bottom of her dress hitting her boots with a smack as she briskly walked down the street. 

Children filled the school yard, enjoying their lunch hour by throwing snowballs at each other, full of grass and rocks. One whizzed by her as she approached the main stairs and she jumped in surprise.

“Sorry Mrs. Carter!” a young boy yelled out, giving her an apologetic smile before running back off to get back in the fight. 

Charlotte chuckled and walked into the school, headed towards the classroom that Nick used as his office while the kids were on break. When she opened the door she saw him diligently grading papers and she stopped for a moment to watch him. She was really proud of everything he’d done since she’d gotten there. He managed to juggle his own classes, doing his work experience at the school, their home life and finances and never asked for a stitch of help. 

“Is it lunch already?” Nick asked, surprised to see Charlotte standing in the doorway.

“Just about,” she nodded and smiled, moving into the room. She took a seat on the edge of the desk, putting the basket down in front of him, “Is everyone ready for their holiday break?”

“Of course, they’re counting down the hours,” Nick chuckled, silently thinking that he was looking forward to the break himself. He started taking things out of the basket, holding up a cloth bag questionably, “What’s this?”

“Apples,” Charlotte said, taking the bag, “A man in the market gave them to me.”

“He gave them to you?” Nick asked sceptically, “You shouldn’t take things from people you don’t know.”

“He seemed nice enough,” Charlotte shrugged and started taking the rolls and cheese out of the basket. 

“Lots of people seem nice but they’re not,” Nick warned her, “He probably thought you were attractive and didn’t know you were married because of your gloves and thought he could charm you with free apples.”

“Are you jealous of the apple man?” Charlotte teased with a laugh. She shook her head at her husband’s ridiculous thoughts and put a cloth napkin down on the desk in front of him to use as a plate. 

“Of course not,” Nick muttered, biting into a piece of cheese. 

Charlotte snickered, “You’re jealous,” she sang, watching his cheeks turn progressively redder. 

“I have no reason to be jealous of some guy selling apples!” he huffed. 

“Exactly,” Charlotte agreed, sticking her tongue out at him quickly. 

“I wanted to talk to you about something actually,” Nick said, changing the subject. He continued to eat his lunch, glancing up towards Charlotte who was looking at him curiously, “I was going to wait until Christmas for this but apparently you need to sign something so I’m going to give it to you now.”

“What are you going on about?” she asked with a laugh. 

Nick quickly got up and grabbed an extra chair, setting it next to his. Charlotte sat down in the chair and he pulled a small booklet out of his coat pocket, handing it to her. 

Charlotte looked at him curiously then looked down towards the booklet, Winter Harbor Savings and Loan scrawled in fancy handwriting across the front, “What’s this, our bank account?”

“Your bank account,” Nick corrected, “You gave me that money you had saved up for your tuition and you shouldn’t have, it wasn’t mine to take. You were saving long before we had ever been together. It was your money, so I put it in a savings account so you can do whatever you want with it. You can save it for something special and it’ll accumulate interest and you’ll have more money in the end. You can add money to it when you want, and I don’t have to know about what you do with it. I don’t even want to know, I won’t ask.”

Charlotte’s eyes were wide and she opened the little book to see that every penny she’d given Nick when she came to America was in the account, as well as some extra start up money, “I’ve never had my own bank account before,” she smiled touching the book as if it were made of delicate paper, “I think I’ll save it. I’ll start a college fund perhaps?”

“You want to go back to school?” he asked curiously. 

“No, a college fund for our children,” Charlotte corrected and Nick smiled slightly, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“If we have any,” he said sadly, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

“Actually,” Charlotte whispered, “I was going to wait until Christmas too…but since we’re gifting early, I should probably let you know that I think I’m pregnant.”

Nick’s head snapped up and he quickly searched Charlotte’s eyes for any indication that she might be joking, “Really?” he questioned, his voice surprisingly shaky. 

“I won’t know for absolute certain for another couple of weeks, but I had suspected, and that’s why I had to get up early the other day. I wasn’t really going to get milk; I was seeing a midwife to ask her opinion.”

“Wow,” he grinned, “I’m going to go crazy for the next couple of weeks then.”

“That’s why I was saving it for Christmas, I didn’t want to find out it was a false alarm and have you be disappointed,” Charlotte sighed.

“Don’t worry,” Nick assured her, “If that’s the case then we’ll move on but... I have a really good feeling.”

“I do too,” Charlotte smiled and leaned over to give Nick a tight hug. She was running her hand idly through the back of his hair when someone suddenly cleared their throat loudly.

“Oh! Mr. Tucker!” Nick said to the short, older man who had walked into the room, straightening his hair and jacket quickly. He stood and gestured towards Charlotte, “You haven’t met my wife yet, Charlotte.”

The old man tipped his head quickly in Charlotte’s direction and muttered a hello before turning back to Nick, “You are aware of how improper it would look if the children came in and saw you cavorting with a woman in your class room?”

Nick’s face reddened and he looked between his wife and the crotchety old school teacher, “Well I’m sorry sir but I’m fairly sure the children are well aware of the fact that sometimes adults will hug. They do it too, I’ve seen them.”

“I don’t take kindly to jokes at my expense Mr. Carter,” the old man guffawed, “Next thing you’ll be telling me that the children will be perfect fine should they come in here and find your wife splayed across the teacher’s desk in nothing but her skin while you ravish her because maybe some of the children would be aware it is something adults do too!” 

Nick was completely wide-eyed as Mr. Tucker stormed from the room and he had barely turned to Charlotte before the two of them burst into uncontrollable laughter.

~*~

Nick stuck his finger under his nose, pretending it was a moustache and looked over at Charlotte, “I would like nothing more than to come in here and find your wife splayed across the desk in nothing but her skin while you ravish her!” 

Charlotte couldn’t keep herself from laughing, having to bend over and hold her stomach to keep from hurting herself. Since the moment Nick arrived home from work they’d been laughing themselves silly while making fun of Mr. Tucker’s ridiculous complaints from earlier. They had managed to keep themselves under control at dinner but now that Charlotte was heating up water for the bath they were back at it again. 

“He should know that you would never in a million years do that,” Charlotte grinned, and pulled a bucket of water off the range. She brought it over to the tin wash tub Nick was sitting in and dumped the hot water in.

“Ouch, that’s hot!” Nick called out, not able to stop laughing as the water hit his legs, “and what do you mean I would never do that? Why wouldn’t I do that?”

Charlotte laughed again and lifted one eyebrow, looking at him as if he had horns growing from his head, “Are you kidding me? We’re talking about you here! You would never be caught in a classroom naked and screwing me on a desk!”

“Don’t say screwing,” Nick grimaced.

“See?! You can’t even handle hearing impolite words! Face it Nick, you’re a bore!”

“I am not boring!” he challenged, sitting up straight in the tub, “I…I…I’m very entertaining!”

Charlotte scoffed and dumped a small bucket of water on Nick’s head, hoping to douse his visions of grandeur, “Have you not noticed that all of your friends are more boring than you and that’s why you seem really interesting? When in your whole life have you ever done anything spontaneous or fun?”

“I asked you to marry me didn’t I?” he asked, looking proud as punch.

“No, I believe you said ‘do you think we should get married?’ because you had thought long and hard about whether our parents were preparing us for marriage and then you asked me if you could kiss me. Wow! What a wild adventurer you are! I can see you now exploring the jungle; your biggest defence mechanism would be putting angry natives and ferocious beasts to sleep with your stories!”

“You’re so mean!” Nick said, trying to sound upset even though he was smiling. 

Charlotte shrugged and moved to switch her empty bucket with the full one on the stove when suddenly she was grabbed from behind and pulled down into the tin wash tub. She gasped and looked over at Nick who was grinning goofily, “I’m all wet!”

“Aren’t you proud of me?” he asked smugly, holding her in the tub with him.

“Proud? Why exactly would I be proud?” she asked, trying to look mad though she was fighting back a smile.

“Yeah, because I impulsively pulled you in here; I was spontaneous and it was fun,” Nick chuckled, moving one hand so he could push his wet hair from his face. 

“Fun for you maybe,” Charlotte chuckled, letting him pull her against him.

“It was,” Nick confirmed and smiling pressed his lips against hers.

She ran her hands through his wet hair then pulled away slowly, arms still wrapped around him tightly.

“So have I proven myself? Am I spontaneous?” he grinned cheekily.

Charlotte rolled her eyes and chuckled, “Doing something spontaneous in front of me is one thing, but doing it in public is something else. You’re so concerned about what other people think of you, and the image you present to the public. You would never have done what you just did surrounded by people, but I love you more for trying,” she smiled and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

“What do I have to do to make you think I can be daring?” Nick wondered aloud, “Run down the street, through the snow, in my underwear?”

“Now there’s an idea!” Charlotte’s eyes lit up like a child on Christmas and she pulled herself from Nick’s arms so she could get out of the tub, “I’ll do it if you do it!”

Nick looked at his wife wide eyed, “I was most certainly not serious!” he exclaimed, watching as she grabbed a towel so he could get out of the now cold basin. 

“Why not, what’s stopping you?” Charlotte asked seriously, wrapping the towel around his waist as he stepped out of the tub. 

“Well, lots of things are,” Nick stuttered, “I have a job, and I’m from here, I've already been kicked out of one school and what if we get sick?”

“None of those things matter on the grand scheme of things. No one will see us and even if they did it wouldn’t reflect on your professionally. Mr. Tucker would probably like the story,” she laughed, “And you have two weeks of vacation starting today so I’d say you don’t have to worry about getting sick.”

Charlotte knew she would never be able to convince him to do it since it was so off the wall. She wasn’t really sure she wanted to do it herself but she figured she would offer anyway, since obviously it would never happen. She went about cleaning things up from the bath, deciding to take hers another time despite the effort involved. 

“Okay,” Nick suddenly spoke and Charlotte looked at him curiously, “Let’s do it!”

“What? You’re serious?” Charlotte asked, almost fainting when Nick nodded his head confidently.

“You’re absolutely right. Nothing bad is going to happen if I embarrass myself a little. If anything it will give us something to laugh about later on.”

Charlotte was speechless; she couldn’t believe he was seriously going to do it. She couldn’t help but smile, actually proud that he was going to do it, “Don’t think I’m making you.”

“I don’t,” he assured her, slipping on his calf length underwear, “Shoes?”

“I think it would be best,” Charlotte nodded then started peeling off her wet layers until she got down to her camisole top and drawers, “I’m in complete awe that you’re going to do this.”

“Well when I freeze to death you know who to blame,” he laughed then grabbed her hand, pulling her through the kitchen to the side door, “How far are we going?”

“Go all the way to the big oak tree and back,” Charlotte instructed, not wanting to have to spend too much time outside because Nick did have a point about it being cold, “Should we race?”

“Think you can beat me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, “I’ll give you a head start.”

“You’d better,” Charlotte pinched his side quickly then opened the door, shivering at the cold air. She took a second to adjust then went for it, running all out down the walkway and into the dark, empty street. 

Nick hesitated for a moment, but knew that he had to prove he could be just as wild and crazy as the next person. Not for Charlotte’s sake but for his own. He bolted out the door after her, the cold hitting him like a slap to the face. He easily gained on her but held back, letting her get to the oak tree just seconds before him. 

“It’s freezing cold out here!” Nick yelled out once they reached their finish line, “...but I’m glad we did this.”

Charlotte was laughing too hard to speak so she nodded her head in response, “I won!”

“You did,” Nick nodded and smiled at her. He moved towards her and picked her up so she was as tall as him. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he kissed her passionately, not caring if every person on the street had heard the noise and come out to be nosey, “I love you,” he whispered against her lips.

“I love you too,” Charlotte rubbed her nose against his then pulled back, letting him put her down. She touched his arm quickly then started back towards the house.

“Where are you going?” Nick asked, watching her go.

Charlotte turned and smiled, barely able to see the detail of his face in the dark, “Home,” she replied.

“Home?” he wondered aloud and she pointed towards their house, “I thought that wasn’t home.”

“Sure it is,” Charlotte nodded and walked once again, “Home is wherever you are.”

Nick smiled and looked towards the heavens, watching the stars shining brightly. The clarity he had at that moment, standing in the middle of the street in the dead of winter in nothing but his underwear and a pair of boots was unreal. He might have been a man burdened with a wife who was a bit of a handful, brash, impulsive, and independent but he would never change her. He loved her just the way she was, flaws and all, and knew the same to be true for her. He only hoped that the child they were going to receive would take after her, and be everything they could ever dream of, and stop at nothing to get it. 

The End