Today, is the happiest day of her life
I should be happy for her today
So tell me why are these tears in my eyes?
I know i should be happy for her
But i've lost everything
I've lost everything i've ever wanted today...

"And today in entertainment news, pop superstar Alaina Davis tied the knot with boyfriend, Micah Wallace in a private surprise ceremony earlier today. Davis just released her second studio album last month & plans to head out on tour next month. Congratulations to the both of you." I stopped listening at some point. I couldn't believe she was married. Just a year ago she & I were together. We were happy. I can't believe I was so stupid.

"Hey Carter, you see the news? Your girl is hitched! I didn't even know she was dating someone else." Could I punch him now?

"J, really. Not in the mood." I just wanted to crawl in bed, pull the covers over my head & never come out. For almost 5 years Alaina had been my entire world. One stupid mistake & it all began to unravel.

Laney & I met through mutual friends in the business in June of 2005 after a show. From the moment that I laid eyes on the girl I knew she just had to be mine. It was a whirlwind romance really. We started dating almost immediately. I was on tour with the guys & she was promoting her first single, but we saw each other as much as we possibly could. We made it a point to talk everyday, whether it be on the phone, through text, email or instant messages, no matter how tired we were. She was everything that my life had been missing up until that point.

I guess I had gotten lost in thought because J was no longer in my room. I guess he finally got the hint. I sprawled out along the couch & let out a huge sigh. My mind drifted back to that fateful night that changed out lives forever.

***

END OF MAY 2010

"Isn't Laney supposed to be getting back into town tonight, Nick?" AJ asked me as he waited on me to finish getting dressed. I had decided that we needed a night out. Honestly now I can't remember why.

"She called a while ago, said her flight was delayed in Dallas, she probably won't get in until tomorrow morning." I grabbed my jacket & we were out the door.

"Are you sure you don't wanna just stay in tonight? I mean, what would Laney think about you going out tonight?"

I gave him a look as we walked out to his car. "Seriously? I don't have to ask her damn permission to go out, J." I got in the passenger side and shut the door. He got in and we were on our way.

The night went on and I'll admit I did drink a little bit more than I should have. I don't even remember how I got home, I lost track of AJ about an hour after we arrived. I also don't remember the girls name that I woke up next to that next morning. What I do remember is the sound of Laney's crying when she walked in the bedroom that morning after taking a taxi from the airport since I forgot to pick her up.

I quickly jumped up out of bed, grabbing my boxers that were laying on the floor next to the bed & pushed the blond out of the bed. "You need to leave. Now."

"What? Why? I thought we were going to spend the day together, Nicky?" Nicky? Really... I didn't even know the bitches name.

"Number one, I don't know who the fuck you are. Number two, last night should NOT of happened. Now get the fuck out of my house." I left the room, to find Laney in the kitchen standing in front of the sink looking out the window. Her tears still flowing. "Laney... I'm sorry.."

She turned to look at me. Mascara cascading down her face. "You're sorry? Sorry for what, Nick? That you forgot to pick me up? That the reason for that is because you were in bed with some whore? That you got caught?"

I was dumbfounded. I knew nothing that I could say was going to make this okay. "You know I love you. It was a mistake I swear. This is the first time it's ever happened, I don't even know why it happened..."

"Shut it, Carter. It's the first and last time it's ever going to happen. I'm done. I can't believe after all these years together you just throw it away like that." I heard the front door shut, the bitch was gone. Now I just had to fix this. "Don't you know how much I loved you?"

"Loved?" I asked her. My heart was slowly breaking. I couldn't let her just leave me like that.

"How can I love someone that doesn't even think twice about sleeping with someone else? I can't trust you anymore, Nick." Tears had started to escape from my eyes.

"No." I walked up and pulled her close to me. She just stood there, her face buried in my chest; her arms hanging at her side. "I love you too much to let you go."

She pushed me away. "You should of thought about that last night."

"This can't be the end of us, Laney." I said quietly.

"Then how come it is? I can't look at you the same way anymore...Was she worth it? Was she worth losing me?"

"Laney, please." I practically begged. Okay, so I was on my knees by this point holding her hands, begging.

She shook her head. "I'm leaving. I'll send someone for my stuff." With that, she grabbed her purse, turned and walked toward the door. She turned & looked at me one more time before opening it and walking out. As soon as I heard it shut, I leaned up against the refrigerator & the sobs came. I had lost the best thing that had ever happened to me.

***

I pulled out my cell phone & opened up a new message.

Congrats on the wedding, Laney. I'm sure you looked beautiful.

Okay, so maybe it was totally dicky of me to send her a text on her wedding day, but at this point I really couldn't give a shit. What did I have to lose? I had already lost it all earlier that day when she said "I do" to this Micah guy - whoever the fuck he was. No one even knew she was dating & now all the sudden she was fucking married? I really hoped that deep down it was all just a big publicity stunt since she had just released her album & was planning to embark on a tour. I felt my phone vibrate. I opened it. It was her.

Nick? OMG I didn't want you to find out like that.

She didn't want me to find out like that? I mean, fuck the girl is more famous than I am at this point, did she really think I wouldn't hear about it through the damn grapevine? I pressed reply.

Well, I did. I wish you nothing but happiness.

It was semi-true. I wanted her to be happy, but I wanted that to be with me, not some random guy that I didn't even fucking know. Hell, she probably didn't even know him. Another text.

Thank you.

That was it? Thank you? Unbelievable. I went to reply when another text came through.

Carter, I can't talk now. But soon. I'll never be as happy as I was with you.

I had to of read that wrong. No... I read it correctly. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? I wanted to respond, but I figured that it was probably best to wait until I heard from her again. Unfortunately that meant that my mind was going to be reeling with ideas of what she could have possibly meant by that. Patience definitely wasn't my strong point.

A month passed & I still had yet to hear anything from Laney. So many times I had picked up my cell to text her, but each time I had decided against it. The last thing I wanted was to cause problems for her; even if I sometimes wished I could just waltz up to her & take her in my arms, right in front of the smug bastard that managed to drag her down the aisle. I did some digging on this Micah guy. Apparently he is just an old acquaintance of hers from before she made it big. Insert eye roll here. If that doesn't say gold digger, than I don't know what does. Who says that gold diggers are always of the female persuasion? He didn't love her, he just loved her money. I hope to God she was at least smart enough to sign a pre-nup because when I win back her heart and she leaves him, I would hate to see him get half of everything she's accomplished.

-Knock, Knock-

I got up & made my way over to my hotel room door. I honestly had lost track of what city we were in that night. My mind hasn't completely been there this past month. I opened the door to find AJ standing there. "What's up, J? This isn't the best time."

"I just thought i'd warn you."

"Warn me about what?"

"Laney is here. Turns out our tour schedules crossed. She's staying in this hotel," he told me. I couldn't believe it. If I believed in fate I would have sworn it had stepped in.

"What?! What room? I have to see her..." He cut me off.

"Her husband is with her."

And my heart sank. Her husband. I know I didn't know the guy, but I hated him. "Oh."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know. Didn't want you to just accidentally run into her or anything." With that he left me to my thoughts. I shut the door & collapsed onto my bed. She was there. I knew I had to see her. I grabbed my phone and opened a new message.

I hear you're staying at my hotel. Can we meet?

So it was kind of forward, I didn't really care at that point. I wanted to see her and I was used to getting what I wanted.

Not now. Soon.

There she goes again with that "soon" bullshit. I hit reply.

That's what you said the last time. Now is as good a time as any. Come to my room in 20 minutes. Room 304.

Ok, I extended the invite. Now I could just pray she'd accept. Fifteen minutes passed and no reply. I was beginning to take that as my answer when there was a knock at my door. I jumped up & pulled the door open. There she was, as beautiful as the last time I'd seen her, but something was different.

"Laney." She didn't say a word, just threw her arms around me and began to cry. I didn't really know what to say at that moment; I was really terrible at saying the right thing. I just held her close to me. "Laney, are you okay? Talk to me."

She pulled back from me. I shut the door as she went to sit on the couch. She wiped her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I sat down on the coffee table so I was facing her. "You can tell me."

She took a deep breath. "Well, I guess I'll start from the beginning. After you and I broke up I was absolutely heartbroken. Another relationship was the last thing on my mind. Part of me just wanted to call you & come back home, but I knew I couldn't do that. I thought about you everyday, but when I didn't hear anything from you I made myself move on. I ran into Micah when I went back home to visit my parents & we started talking. Now here it is not even a year later & we're married. I really don't even know why. I love Micah, I do, but I'm not in love with him. My heart has and always will belong to you.  I just feel like we didn't get the closure we should have."

Was I hearing her correctly? Was I dreaming? It couldn't be this easy. "Laney, I never stopped loving you. I wanted to pick up the phone and call you every day, but I couldn't. I hurt you. I still hate myself for that day." Her phone vibrated interrupting me. She looked at it.

"It's him. I should go," she started to get up. I stood up as well.

"Laney, please... We could still make this work. We were so amazing together. I still love you so much..." I said. I had to try.

She smiled. "We were amazing, but it's in the past now. I'm married." She gave me a hug. "I have to go." She started towards the door. She turned and gave me a smile. With that she was gone again.

She still loved me. That was at least a good sign. Maybe, just maybe I could win her back. It wasn't so much the task of winning her back, I still owned her heart, I just had to get her to leave him. That was going to be the hard part.

Come to our show tonight, I'll leave a pass at the front desk for you.

I'll try.

Well, it was better than a no. Tonight - tonight would be the night I won her back, or at least that's what I was hoping for. My phone vibrated again.

It was so amazing to see you, if even for a minute.

Likewise. Tonight. :)

I closed my phone & laid back on my bed. I must have dozed off because next thing I knew I had Howie banging on my door telling me to get my ass ready. It was almost show time - in more ways that one.

I couldn't help the fact that I was absolutely distracted in front of the crowd that night. I kept scouring the crowd for her. Had she picked up the pass I left for her? I know I hadn't seen her backstage before the show & I couldn't see her anywhere in the first few rows of the crowd. Maybe she'd decided not to come. I couldn't say that I blamed her. Sure, she still loved me, she had made that crystal clear, but she hadn't forgiven me for what I'd done. And she was right, she was a married woman now, as much as it hurt me to admit that. She said she did love him, but she wasn't happy. How could anyone want to live like that?

We all piled into the vans and headed back to the hotel from the venue. I was exhausted - physically & emotionally. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought it was going to be to win her back. I pulled my phone out of my pocket seeing that I had a new message.

Carter, I'm really sorry I didn't show. I can't do that to him. I'm sorry. Hope the rest of your tour goes great & maybe I'll see you around.

Fuck. Now what the hell was I supposed to do. How do I respond to that? Or do I respond to it at all? I sighed & slipped my phone back in my pocket. I guess I had sighed a little louder than I thought. "Everything ok, Nick?" AJ asked me. I just shook my head.

"Far from it."

"What's eating ya?" I rolled my eyes. Yeah, like AJ is the one to go to for advice. Excuse me while I laugh.

"She's fucking married."

"Uh, yeah, I think we established that fact when it was plastered all over every damn entertainment news station a few weeks ago." I wanted to seriously punch him. I did not need his sarcastic ass comments right now.

"It shouldn't of been him. If she's fucking married to anyone it should be me."

He started laughing. "Oh alright, Mr. I'm-Never-Getting-Married." Okay, so I had been openly honest with the fact that I never thought I would get married, but now thinking about it I could totally see myself & Laney married with a couple kids. Too little too late, I suppose.

"Maybe I changed my mind."

"Little late for that, don't you think?"

"It's never too late. She could get a divorce. She told me herself she still loves me."

"I'm sure she still does. You were together for five years, Nick. One mistake isn't going to completely make those feelings go away, but just because she still loves you doesn't mean she's going to just break some other guys heart & come running back to you."

"Well, why the fuck not?" I pouted - pathetic I know, but I couldn't help it.

AJ sighed. "Laney is not that type of person & you know that. "

I really couldn't argue with that. She had a heart bigger than the state of Texas. Maybe I was just going to have to suck it up and be happy for her. Maybe we could still be friends? Or is that too much to ask? I sighed again & turned my attention to the window, watching as we pulled up to the hotel. Of course it was too much to ask. She had moved on. AJ was right, I couldn't just expect her to drop everything & come back to me. That only happened in the movies, right?

I got out of the van, grabbed my duffel bag & made my way into the hotel. I felt horrible for totally blowing off the dozen or so fans waiting outside for a picture or autograph, but I was not in the mood to fake a smile & pose for pictures. I just wanted to hit the hotel bar & drown my sorrows. Maybe I could just drink away the hurt I was feeling right now. Just maybe. I went up to my room, grabbed a quick shower, got dressed & opened the door to head back downstairs to the bar. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Laney standing there holding what looked like an envelope in her hands. "Laney, uh, what are you doing here? Come in..."

She shook her head. "I, um, I can't. I just came by to tell you that we're leaving tonight," she said quietly. "I also wanted to give you this." She handed me the envelope. "It's a song. I wrote it a couple of weeks after I left our...I mean, your house. I never sent it. I just kinda always kept it with me incase the time came to give it to you. I think that time is now. It was good to see you again, Carter. I really mean that. Maybe we'll get lucky & our paths will cross again." She stepped over the threshold just long enough to give me a quick hug & then pulled away. "Goodbye." With that she took off down the hallway.

It sounded so final. I'm not going to lie, I was scared shitless to open that envelope. Now going to the bar didn't sound like such a great idea. I shut the door to my hotel room & walked over to the couch & took a seat. I looked at the envelope. In her perfect handwriting she had written "Carter" on the front. I don't know why she always called me by my last name, but it had been something she started doing from day one & I liked it. I took a deep breath & carefully tore it open.

Carter,
It's been 4 weeks since my heart was shattered into a million pieces. Four weeks since my entire world came crashing down. Four weeks since I thought I could never be happy again. I am supposed to be writing material for the next album & I won't lie you've given me an immense amount of inspiration. This song that I'm including is just something I thought you should read. I hope this can bring us the closure we need. I've moved on, I hope that one day you can too. I just want you to know that I'm okay & I forgive you. A part of me will always love you.
~Laney

Little Miss down on love
Little Miss I give up
Little Miss I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore
Little Miss checkered dress
Little Miss one big mess
Little Miss I'll take less when I always give so much more
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Little Miss do your best
Little Miss never rest
Little Miss be my guest, I'll make more anytime that it runs out
Little Miss you'll go far
Little Miss hide your scars
Little Miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Hold On
Hold On, you are loved
Are loved.......
Little Miss brand new start
Little Miss do your part
Little Miss big ‘ole heart beats wide open and she's ready now for love
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay, it'll be alright again)
I'm okay (It'll be alright again)

I carefully folded the paper back up & put it back in the envelope. I wiped away the tears that I hadn't even realized had started to fall down my cheeks. She didn't need me anymore. Maybe it was time I put the past behind me & realized that she had moved on. She had forgiven me & more importantly she was okay. Only problem now was that I wasn't. I was far from okay.

-September 2010-

I wasn't quite sure what the purpose was for us to be at the VMA's this year. We had just wrapped a tour & quite honestly I just wanted some time off. I hadn't heard from Laney in two months, but really I was a fool for thinking that I would. She had made it perfectly clear, she was a married woman & planned to stay that way. I had found comfort of an old friend, Carly. She was more or less my girlfriend now, not that I really wanted to date anyone. I'm a man though, I do have needs & I couldn't just be alone forever. So here I was walking the red carpet at an awards show where not only were we not performing or presenting an award, we weren't even fucking nominated. So again, why are we here? I really didn't want to bring Carly along with me, but all the other guys had their wives & fiance's; it would've looked odd had I shown up alone. Not too mention the fact that I knew for a fact that Laney was performing that night. I knew she was there somewhere I didn't want her to think I was still longing for her - even though I really was.

We found our seats & made ourselves comfortable; after all, we had no reason to get up at all throughout the night. "Hey Nick, you seen Laney yet tonight?" AJ asked. I gave him a look.

"Nope, and I really hope I don't." I lied. My head was screaming. I wanted to see her so fucking bad, but I knew her husband was probably in tow for the evening. The lights went down so I knew the show was about to begin.

I always found award shows to be so damn boring. I probably drifted off a few times because I swear Howie elbowed me at least 10 times. I was probably snoring. I really couldn't care less. That was until she was introduced. "And now performing her latest hit single "Little Miss", it's Alaina Davis." The curtain rose & there she stood in all her beautiful glory. Her long blond curls hanging loosely down her back. She looked absolutely gorgeous. I averted my eyes over to Carly for a second, how could I have ever thought she was a good replacement for what I used to have. She opened her mouth and began to sing the lyrics that only a couple months ago she had given to me. I didn't even know that the song had definitely been recorded for the album, let alone that she had decided to release it as the next single. As she sang the audience was just hearing the words, I, however knew that those words were much more than that. She was letting me know that she was still okay.

The rest of the awards show was all a blur, I just kept thinking of her. We went back to the hotel we were staying at & Carly finally passed out. I grabbed my phone. I didn't care anymore, I sent her a text.

The song was great. I'm glad you're okay.

I really wasn't expecting a response, so when my phone vibrated I jumped.

Thanks. I really am. :)

It was to the point. Maybe she really was happy with him. I was going to reply to her when she sent me another text.

I need to talk to you....in person. Meet me at the hotel restaurant in 20?

I didn't even know she was staying at the same hotel as I was. She wanted to see me? Why? And where was her husband? I laughed quietly to myself, probably the same place my date was - passed out in bed.

Of course. See you in a few.

I quickly changed into some different clothes & quietly made my way out of the room. I took the elevator down to the main floor & walked into the restaurant. I spotted her almost instantly sitting at a table in the back corner. I walked up to the table. "Hey you."

"Carter. Hi." She stood up & gave me a hug. I didn't want to let her go, but I did & we both took a seat.

"Where's your husband?" I asked her. So I was curious, that's not a crime.

"He didn't come with me this trip. He's back home in LA." She said nonchalantly.

I nodded. "So you wanted to talk to me?"

She smiled. "Yeah. I felt really bad about how you found out about the wedding...."

"It's in the past."

She nodded. "Well, I wanted to tell you something else before it hit the press. I can't exactly hide it much longer." I listened intently. "I'm having a baby, Carter."

Could this get any worse? This was only going to complicate things further. "A baby?"

She laughed. "Yeah. I'm pregnant, Carter. Micah & I are having a baby."

I know I should be happy for her. She had talked so many times about starting a family, I had only brushed her off, telling her I wasn't ready. For the first time I actually believed she was as happy as she said she was. There was a glint in her eye that hadn't been there when I saw her in July. "Uh...Congratulations..."

She must've noticed the sadness in my voice, she took my hand. "I guess I shouldn't have expected you to be overjoyed for me." She said sadly. "I finally have everything I've ever wanted, Carter. A husband who loves me unconditionally & now I'm going to be a mommy. You know how badly I've wanted those things."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know. Believe me, I know." We had fought so many times in our four year relationship, mainly the last year or so, because she wanted to get married & start a family & I just didn't. Looking back now I wish I had. Has anyone invented a time machine yet? "What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing really, I just wanted you to find out from me this time."

"Are you happy, Laney?"

"For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I am."

I looked away. "Then that's all that matters."

"Carter, please..." I let go of her hand. She reached across the table and put her hand on the side of my face turning my head so I was looking her in the eye.

"So in July when you told me that you still loved me...."

She looked down for a second. "I meant it, Carter. A piece of my heart is always going to be yours, but our ship has sailed. It's okay for you to move on too."

I sighed & stood up, as did she. "I don't want to move on, Laney. You were everything right in my world, now I'm just going through the motions. Part of me really hoped that you'd wake up one day & realize you still wanted to be with me. I was living day to day with that little piece of hope, but now you're pregnant. It kind of shatters that." I paused. "I know you'll be a great mom. I always thought that about you. Congratulations, Laney." I leaned down & kissed her cheek. I turned and walked out of the restaurant, careful not to look back. I had to move on.

Laney's POV November 2010

"Thank you, Nashville, you've been an amazing audience tonight!" I exclaimed as I intro'd into the last song on the set list. My baby bump had decided to pop so I was glad the tour would be ending in Indianapolis is a couple of days. Then I'd have off until well after the baby was born, well off from touring that is. I'm sure I'd still be writing & recording, but that could be done from the comfort of my own home.

I walked into my dressing room after the show. I was drenched in sweat & all I wanted to do was grab a quick shower, get on my bus & pass out for the night. This pregnancy was seriously taking a toll on me & not only that, but it was beginning to take a toll on my marriage. Micah & I had began fighting a lot. Over stupid little things that really didn't matter. That's really the reason why for the past month he hasn't been out to visit me on the road. Hell, I had barely heard from him at all. I think he really was beginning to regret our hasty decision to get married. Honestly, I think if I weren't pregnant we would've been over before we even began. One night of carelessness resulted in our "shot gun wedding". I wasn't in love with him, but I wouldn't dream of telling anyone that though. Well, maybe one person....Carter.

Carter was my everything. That is until he threw it all away for a quick fuck. I've ran into him a couple times in the past few months. He looks amazing as ever. God how I've missed him. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that if I hadn't been "knocked up". I would've said screw my marriage. He hurt me, sure, but I still loved him with my whole heart. I saw him a couple months ago & told him about the baby. I'm pretty sure his world came crashing down. I just didn't want him hearing about the little bambino on some cable news show. I felt I owed him more than that. I still owed him the whole truth. I just had no idea when or if I would ever get the nerve to tell him.

I couldn't wait to be at home, preparing to meet the little one. Now matter what the future held I was going to be a mother. I grabbed my things from the dressing room & made my journey out to my bus. I walked out the large metal door & heard someone calling my name. "Laney!" I seriously thought my mind was playing tricks on me.

"Alex?" he jogges over to me. My security started to step in, but I put my hand up signaling them to stop. "It's okay, he's a friend." I turned back to him & game him a hug. "Alex, what in the world are you doing in Nashville?"

"Well, gee, it's great to see you too." He laughed.

I smiled. "It's always good to see you, just a huge surprise."

"Well, Nick still has his place here & we figured since you were here in town we'd catch a show. You were great, by the way."

"Aw, well thank you. Nick's here?"

"He was."

"Oh."

He reached into his back pocket & pulled out a square envelope. He handed it to me. I recognized Carter's chicken scratch handwriting immediately. "He wanted me to give you this."

"Uh, okay...what is it?"

Alex shrugged. "I'm guessing he's returning the favor and wrote you a song." I nodded. Of course he had written a song for me. After all he was probably still missing me & what we could have had. I know I was. Deep down I wished that I would've let him explain himself. Maybe if I hadn't of been so quick to walk away this baby i'm carrying would've been his & then my last name would've been "Carter". Who was I kidding? Marriage was never an option in his mind. To him marriage meant the end of a happy relationship - however, so did cheating. I hated myself for still loving him.

"Well, thanks for delivering it to me & thank you for coming out to the show. It really was great running into you, but I've gotta get on the road."

He pulled me in for another hug. "Be good, babygirl. I'll see you soon & make sure you keep an eye out for an invite to the wedding. I really want you to be there."

I pulled away. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." He gave me one last smile & turned to walk away. I climbed onto my bus and made myself comfortable.

I pulled the CD out of the envelope. I put the CD into my laptop, only to be surprised when a video started playing. It was Carter sitting in his home studio. "Laney, I think a part of me will always love you, but I'll do what you asked me to. This is for you." The music began to play & he started to sing.

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I have been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

Tears sprang to my eyes. In my head I knew I should've been happy he was taking my advice & putting the past behind him, but my heart clearly thought otherwise. Tonight I was just going to blame it on my hormones.

Laney's POV - January 2011

Despite everything in my power my management team decided it would be best if I stayed out in LA for the remainder of my pregnancy. Here I was nearly 9 months along & they had decided to set up a stint of radio interviews & talk show appearances to hype up the second leg of my tour that had been announced. Sure it wouldn't be starting up until May, but did they care? No. Micah & I had been growing even more distant the past couple of months since the first leg of my tour ended. He wanted me to come home to Raleigh & we had gotten into a huge argument when I told him that my career was requiring me to be in LA. I was sitting in a studio at a radio station in downtown, fielding the same questions from the radio personalities. I mean, seriously why should I have to answer the same damn questions over & over & over again? I never understood that.

"So Laney, we've talked tour, now lets talk about this baby...Are you looking forward to his arrival next month?" I had found out that the little bambino was a boy. I had cried. Not because I was having a baby boy, but because I really wanted that little blond haired, blue eyed baby boy that was a spitting image of his father.... However, that little fantasy would be only that. Micah was brown haired, green eyed.

"I am so excited to meet him, you have no idea." I tried to act as happy as possible. I wanted this baby, don't get me wrong. The baby made me happy, his father did not.

"Do you & your husband have names picked out?"

I smiled. "We do, but you all will find out once he arrives." Okay, so I lied. I had a name picked out, but Micah certainly had no say in it. And before you think I'm some bitch who has to control every little aspect of the pregnancy, I wanted him to be involved...He chooses not to be. Tell me again why I'm married to him?

"Gotta love surprises. Well, we wish you all the best & look forward to hearing more details about the upcoming tour & new album later this year."

And with that, I was back in the limo heading to the hotel. I felt my phone vibrating in my purse. I had a text message. It was Alex

Heard you're a resident of LA for a while, let's hang out. Going out for my birthday 2night, interested??

I smiled. I was almost 9 months preggo & he wanted me to go out clubbing.

I don't wanna crash your party. Have fun.

Don't be crazy - I insist. You're clearly the hottest preggo chick I know.

I seriously laughed out loud at that. How could I say no?

Ok. I'll meet you at your house, that cool?

Yup. Absolutely. See you 2night.

I closed my phone & put it back in my purse. Pregnant or not, I needed a fun night out. Recently it had been nothing but work... I needed a break.

***

Nick's POV

"Yo, J, what time we meeting?" We were going out that night to celebrate my man's birthday. I intended to have a great time. The past few months had been shitty as hell. I was dating Carly now, we had become pretty serious, but my life was still missing something. Who the fuck was I kidding? I missed Laney. I didn't love Carly, I was just using her to fill the space next to me in bed. Does that make me an asshole? Yeah, you're right, it probably does. I was flying solo tonight. Carly was in Orlando visiting friends & for tonight I was single. I was sure as hell going to enjoy myself.

"Meet at the club at 9." He told me.

"Alright. I will see you there, man. Later." I hung up & looked at the clock. I had about an hour before I had to leave, so I headed down to my studio to work on some songs I'd been writing. Of course they all seemed to have the same theme - Laney.

I left my place at about 8:30 and arrived at the club slightly before 9. I decided to go on inside & get the party started. What I saw when I walked in though was completely unexpected. What the hell was she doing there?

***
Laney's POV

I felt absolutely ridiculous sitting in that club. I had never felt so unattractive in my life. All of these girls in there scantily clad outfits & there I was in a pair of jeans & a black maternity top. I grabbed my purse with every intention of just going ahead & leaving when I saw him walk in - alone. I knew he had been dating that Carly chick, so where was she tonight? I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him staring directly at me. I really just wanted to find a place to hide. I did not need this tonight. He started to make his way towards me & I quickly darted off to the one place I knew he couldn't follow - the ladies room.

I leaned against the wall in the bathroom & squeezed my eyes shut, trying to contain the tears that were welling up. Why did this have to happen tonight? I did not need this on top of everything else that was happening in my life. That's when I heard him yelling from the other side of the door. "Laney? Can we talk, please?"

I sighed. There was no controlling the tears now. They cascaded down my cheeks. I looked at myself in the mirror. "Not now, Carter." I yelled back.. How did my life come to this?

"Nick, what the hell are you doing?" I heard Alex's fiance from the other side of the door. Great, this was just what I needed at the moment. Leave it to Nick to cause a damn scene. Still I listened as best I could. It was difficult though because of the loud music blaring in the club.

"Ro, I need to talk to Laney. She's in the bathroom & won't come out to talk to me." I heard him say. He was practically whining. It was kind of pathetic.

"Okay, well banging on the door screaming at her is definitely not going to help. Let me go to talk to her, you talk to Alex." I guess he took her advice because the next thing I knew the bathroom door was opening & she was walking in. "Hey Lane, you okay?"

Alex & Rochelle hadn't been dating when I was still around, but I had known her for a couple of years. She had done my makeup for several appearances. I kind of felt like I was responsible for her & Alex's relationship. I looked into the mirror & saw her standing behind me. I wiped my eyes & turned around. I shook my head. "I'm honestly not. I guess I should've known that he was going to be here." I sighed. "I just miss him so much & seeing him, knowing that we will never be together again hurts like nothing I've ever felt in my life."

"Who's to say you'll never be together again?"

"Ro, I'm married & incase you haven't noticed I'm about to pop." I said gesturing toward my extremely swollen belly.

She smiled, putting a hand on my stomach. "People get divorced everyday, Lane. I'm not saying that I believe in divorce, but if you're honestly not happy you shouldn't have to live that way for the rest of your life. Is Micah even the least bit concerned that you could go into labor at any time now & he's not here?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes, honestly."

I looked down at the wedding band on my hand. The tears were creeping up again. "No. He's not. I asked him when he planned on flying out here to be with me & he just said he didn't know. I honestly don't feel like he even wants this baby....I didn't ask for this, but I made my bed, so I'm ready to accept the responsibility of my actions."

She gave me a hug. "Honey, I would hate to be in your position. I'm not telling you what to do, but there is a man out there who, despite being a complete idiot sometimes, would love you no matter what. You two need each other."

She was right. I loved this baby & I intended to give him the best life I possibly could. "Aren't you forgetting something? Nick's not so single himself."

She started laughing. "Carly?" I nodded. "Lane, the second you told him you wanted to work things out he'd kick her to the curb. You probably wouldn't be able to get the whole sentence out before he did it."

I smiled. "You're probably right. I guess I have some big decisions to make." I looked down at my belly. "And not a whole lot of time to do it in."

She nodded. "I'm here if you just need someone to talk to.

"I appreciate that." I gave her another hug. "I guess I need to talk to Carter."

"Well, I'll be around if you need me."

"Thank you, but I'll be okay. You go enjoy yourself."

After my chat with Rochelle in the ladies room I began to search the club for Carter. It didn't take me long to find him. He was sitting at a back corner booth alone, texting on his phone. He looked absolutely bored to death. No doubt it was my fault his night was ruined. I slid into the seat across from him. "Hey you." He looked up & his eyes widened. He slipped his phone into his pocket.

"Am I dreaming?"

I laughed. "No, I'm here. I'm sorry about earlier. I have a lot going on in my head right now."

He nodded. "I can understand that."

He took my hands in his. Just that small gesture sent chills through my body. "I have some pretty big decisions to make soon."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I'm not happy. I don't know who I was trying to convince, you or me."

"I knew you were lying, but then you wrote that song, and..."

"I don't know what the future holds, Carter." I interrupted him. "But I'm going back to Raleigh to figure it out."

"Whatever you think is best, Laney."

"Why are you so understanding?"

"Laney, I love you. You owe it to yourself & to that baby to think everything through. I'm always going to be here for you, even if you decide that what's best is to stay in Raleigh."

I smiled. "Thank you, Carter."

"Anytime, Laney. Anytime."

"I think I'm going to head out to the hotel. I'm just not in the mood to party."

"Let me give you a ride, I want to make sure you get there safely."

How on earth could I say no to that? "Okay. Let just go tell Alex that we're leaving."

We went & found Alex & Rochelle dancing & told them goodbye. The we were on our way. I should have expected the paparazzi to be lining the streets, but as soon as we walked out the doors the camera flashes started. This was definitely not what I needed right now. I'm sure tomorrow the rumors would fly.

***NICK***

"Is Alaina Davis rekindling her old romance with Backstreet Boy Nick Carter?" The reporter said. Photos of myself & Laney flashed on the screen. "A very pregnant Miss Davis was seen leaving a trendy Los Angeles nightclub late last night with Carter. Sources close to both parties have refused to comment at this time." I shut the TV off & threw the remote at the wall. Of course the paparazzi would get the wrong idea. I mean, after all this is LA. The land where it's impossible to remain on good terms with your ex. After I took Laney back to her hotel I went straight home; I didn't even go up to her room. I honestly couldn't give two shits that they were harassing me, but Laney didn't need this right now. She already had enough drama on her plate. I heard my cell phone vibrating on the coffee table in front of me. I picked it up to see that it was Carly calling.

"Great. I guess she's seen the damn pictures." I immediately hit ignore & sent her straight to voicemail. A few moments later I heard the beep signaling that she had indeed left a message. I dialed in to listen to it.

"Nick! I can't fucking believe you! I go out of town for one damn weekend & you go crawling back to her. Well, I hope you're happy because we are over." I ended the call & stared at my phone.

"Well this day is just fanfuckingtastic." I sighed & leaned back on the couch. If this was affecting me this bad, I hated to think about how it was affecting her. I decided to call her to make sure she was alright.

It went straight to her voicemail. "Hi! You've reached Laney. I'm sure I'm busy right now, so leave a message & I'll call ya back! Bye!"

"Lane, it's Carter. I guess you're still sleeping. I just wanted to call & give you a heads up that pictures from last night are everywhere. I hope you're okay. Call me when you can." I hung up & tossed the phone back onto the table. Could things possibly get any worse?

***LANEY***

I had woke up early that morning & caught a plane back to my home in Raleigh. I hadn't told Nick that I was leaving, I just left. Sure, I shouldn't have been flying in my condition, but I had to get things figured out and soon. I took a cab from the airport to my home. I took a deep breath before I opened the front door to go in. After all, I hadn't really talked to Micah that much in the past couple months so I didn't know how this was going to go.

Immediately when I walked in I noticed how quiet it was. I sat my bags down & made my way towards the home office. The door was left open just a crack & I could hear him on his phone. I gently tapped on the door before walking in.

"Never mind, Rick. She's here now. Yeah, yeah, I'll call ya back." He slammed the phone down. "Nice to see my whore of a wife still remembers where home is." He stood up & looked at me. I had never seen him so angry. I took a step back.

"Uh, excuse me?"

"Don't think I don't know what you were up to out in LA. You're an A-List celebrity, Alaina. Did you really think it wouldn't get back to me? I mean, it's all over the damn TV & internet this morning."

"Micah, what are you talking about? I was in LA for work, that's it."

"Don't fucking lie to me!" He raised his voice & slammed his fist into the wall, barely missing my head. I could contain the tears anymore. I was terrified.

"I'm not lying to you, Micah. I promise." I sobbed.

"You're promises aren't worth shit to me anymore. I saw the pictures of you & your ex, Alaina." He grabbed my left hand & yanked it up. "You see this damn ring? It means you belong to me. Do you understand that?" He started shaking me. "Do you?!" He screamed in my face.

I tried to speak but I couldn't. All I could manage was to nod my head. "Good. Now that we've got that settled you have a statement to type up."

I sniffled. "A statement? About what?"

"About how you won't be returning to the road after it's born. You've decided that you'll be taking an undetermined amount of time off & spending it here in Raleigh with me & your baby." I couldn't believe he was doing this to me. "Oh, & don't forget to add how insanely happy you are right now."

"Micah, you can't do this. What about the fans? I can't do this to them." I honestly had never seen him act this way before.

"Laney, sweetheart, I'm your husband. I can do whatever I damn well please." He kissed me hard on the mouth. "Now you better get started on that statement. Rick will be calling for it later. Oh, & Laney?"

"What?"

"Welcome home, darling." With that he left the room & I heard the garage door open. I looked out the window & saw him pulling out of the driveway. I didn't know where he was going, or how long he was going to be. All I knew was that it was now or never. I had to get the hell out of dodge & quick. I grabbed my bags that were still sitting by the front door & tossed them in the car.

I didn't stop driving until I reached my mom & dad's house that was about an hour away. I had knocked on the door & as soon as my Momma opened it she knew something wasn't right. Daddy had helped me carry my bags in and immediately called the police station to talk to my brother about what was going on. As soon as I was settled & knew that Micah couldn't get to me I dug my phone out of my purse & turned it on.

I had like a million missed calls & messages from Carter. Surprisingly none of them were from Micah. Something told me that he hadn't returned home yet & when he did he would be beyond furious. I decided that now would be a good time to have my number changed. I quickly sent Carter a text.

Carter - I promise that I'm ok. I have to get my # changed, but I'll give you the new one. Until then, this phone will be off. Call me @ my parents, I have a lot to tell you. ILY.

I quickly turned my phone off so that there would be no way he could track GPS signals & waited for Nick to call the house. I needed him now, more than ever.

"Lane, honey, you've got a phone call, would you like me to take a message?" I heard my Mom from the other side of my bedroom door. I got up as quickly as I could & walked over, opening it up.

"Is it Nick?"

My mom gave me a strange look. "Sweetie, why would he be calling you? You're not back with him are you? Is that what's really going on between you & Micah?"

"Momma, please, just give me the phone. I promise I'll explain everything to you. I just really need to talk to him right now."

She sighed. She hadn't been such a big fan of Carter since the incident that left my heart shattered. Not that I could blame her. I was her baby girl. I could only imagine how I would feel if that ever happened to my child. "Okay, honey. I'll be downstairs when you're finished." She handed me the phone & turned to walk back down the stairs.

I put the phone to my ear. "Carter?"

"Of course. Now tell me what the hell is going on? I've been trying to reach you all morning since I saw all the pictures plastered everywhere. Are you okay? What happened with Micah?" He was talking a mile a minute. I could tell he was genuinely worried about me.

"I caught a flight out this morning. I wanted to get things resolved with him. When I got home though he was on the phone with my publicist. He saw the photos of us leaving that club...." I kind of trailed off. I knew that if I told Nick everything he would completely fly off the handle & an angry Nick was not something I wanted to deal with.

"And? Lane, I know there's more to this..."

I sighed. "He called me a few names & grabbed my arms & started shaking me... I have a few light bruises from that, but I'm okay."

And here it came. "HE WHAT? THAT SON OF A BITCH!"

I took a deep breath. "Carter, calm down..."

"Calm down? You want me to fucking calm down? You're pregnant with his child & he's treating you like a fucking rag doll? That is NOT okay, Laney."

"I'm safe now. He left the house & I took off to my parents. My father has already talked to Drew about a restraining order. He's not going to get to me." He was silent for a couple minutes. I could tell he was deep in thought. "Nick? Are you there?"

"I'm coming out there. I need to be with you, I need to protect you. I'd feel so much better if I was actually there."

I smiled. My knight in shining armor. "Carter, don't be ridiculous. I'm fine. Trust me, my family is not going to let him anywhere near him. I've already contacted my lawyer. I'm going to file for divorce as soon as the baby is born."

"Okay. You call me the second anything happens though & I'm on the next flight, deal?"

"Of course. I miss you, Carter."

"I miss you too, Lane. So much."

"I'll be in touch soon."

"Okay, sweets... I love you."

I smiled to myself. "I love you too." With that I clicked the phone off. I got up off the bed & went to go downstairs. When I opened the door I came face to face with my mother. "Momma! You scared me." She had this look on her face that I couldn't quite interpret. "What's wrong, Momma?" She pushed past me into my room & shut the door, locking it.

"Laney, he's found you." That was all she needed to say. I started shaking.

"What? What do you mean? He's here?" I was in full on panic mode.

She nodded. "He's downstairs. We tried to tell him you weren't here, but he saw your car out front. Laney, we have to call your brother." I nodded & handed her the phone.

"You call him... I need to call Nick." I grabbed my cell phone & turned it on. It started going crazy with messages from the asshole. I ignored all of that and dial Nick's number. He picked up first ring. "Carter...he already found me. He's here, at my parents house... I'm scared."

"I'm on my way. Everything is going to be okay. I love you, Laney."

"ALAINA, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! YOU BETTER OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW BEFORE I BREAK IT DOWN!" He started screaming & pounding on the bedroom door.

"I love you too, Nick. Please hurry." I knew there was no way he would be there until later in the day, he was on the other side of the country, but I could dream. I ended the call. "Momma, what are we going to do?" I whispered.

"LANEY! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

She put her arms around me. "Your brother has units on the way."

"I'm such a mess up, Momma... Look what I've gotten us into."

"ALAINA!"

She looked at my face, wiping a few stray tears away. "Alaina Marie, there will be no talk of that. This is not your fault."

Just then there was a loud bang & the door came bursting open. He pushed my mom into the wall and grabbed me by my hair. "You think you can just up & leave me like that, Alaina? Huh?" He yanked on my hair. "You've got another thing coming, sweetheart." He let go of my hair & grabbed my arm practically dragging me out of the room & down the stairs. We were about 7 stairs from the bottom when I lost my footing & went down. Everything went black.

Next thing I remembered was waking up in a hospital room. My mind was fuzzy, I felt...different. That's when I realized it - I was no longer pregnant. My hands went to my belly, it was still swollen, but clearly, my baby was no longer there. I felt myself begin to panic. Tears invading my eyes. I looked around. I saw my Momma sitting in a chair next to my bed. "Momma? Momma? What happened? Where is my baby?"

She sat up quickly & took my hand. "Calm down, sweetheart. They had to perform an emergency c-section. You fell down the stairs & were knocked unconscious . Your precious baby boy is fine, he's in the NICU, but only because he was early. He just needs a little extra care right now."

I tried to sit up. "Momma, I need to see him. I need to make sure he's okay."

She pushed me back down. "Not now, Laney, you need your rest. The nurse will bring him by in a little while."

I sighed. "What happened to Micah? Where is he?"

She looked down. "He got away, Lane. There are teams searching for him right now."

I closed my eyes & sighed. I just wanted this nightmare to be over. "And Nick? Is he here yet?"

She nodded. "He's in the waiting room with your father. He just got here not long ago."

I smiled slightly. "I need to see him." She nodded & got up to leave the room.

I was crying slightly when I heard the door squeak. I looked over & smiled when I saw Nick peeking in. "You rang?"

I laughed. "Come, sit."

He walked over & stood next to the bed. He reached down & wiped my tears. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you."

I shook my head. "This is not at all your fault. There wouldn't have been any way you would've made it in time. I still don't know how he found me."

"Well," he took a seat, taking my hand in his. "It's all over now. They're going to catch him, Lane. And until they do, I'm not leaving your side."

I shook my head. "Carter, I can't expect you to do that. You have your career to deal with. I'll be fine."

He gave me a look. "Yeah, that's what you said earlier today."

"Good point." I put my hand back on my belly.

"He's beautiful, you know? Looks just like his Momma."

I smiled & looked over at him. "You saw him?"

He nodded. "I did. It's weird to just call him 'little guy' though."

I chuckled. "Grayson. His name is Grayson."

"I like it."

"I can't wait to see him." I sighed. "I'm just scared that Micah is going to take him from me. I don't think I could handle that."

"Laney, any judge in his right mind would see that he's clearly not fit to raise a child. Besides, once he's found he's not going to be around. They'll lock him up."

I looked down, tears escaping my eyes. "This is not how I ever pictured this day happening. I want Gray to have a father figure in his life. I've already screwed things up in his life & he's only a few hours old."

There was a knock on the door. A nurse came in pushing an incubator. I struggled a bit to sit up. Nick gently helped me up. "Somebodies awake & would love to see his Mommy." The nurse said. I smiled. She picked up the little blue bundle & made her way over to me. She handed Grayson to me. "I'll leave the happy family alone for a bit. I'll be back." She smiled & left the room. I truly wish we were a happy family.

I looked down at the tiny baby in my arms. "Hi Grayson, I'm your Mommy. I wasn't expecting you just yet there, sweetheart." Grayson stretched & let out a yawn. "He's perfect."

"Like I said, just like his Momma." Nick leaned down & kissed my forehead. "And don't you worry about him having a father-figure. I'm going to be there for him & you every step of the way, Lane."

I couldn't find the words to express how I was feeling. I just took a deep breath & nodded. Even though I was going through all of this awful stuff right now, I was still the luckiest girl in the world. Grayson drifted back to sleep & I myself began to drift off. "Carter, what am I going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, sure, I have enough money to support myself & Grayson, but I don't know if I can go through this alone."

"What did I tell you, Laney? I said I'm going to be there for you both."

"But my home is here, & you're all the way in LA."

He laughed. "Well, then I guess I'll just have to move, won't I?"

I looked at him wide eyed. "Carter, don't be crazy. I really can't expect that of you. Grayson isn't your responsibility."

"I'm making him my responsibility. I want to be his father."

I started to cry. "I don't deserve you."

He smiled and climbed into the bed next to me, putting his arm around me. He leaned into me & put his head next to mine. We both looked down at the sleeping baby I was holding. "At least he got his Momma's good looks. We're going to get through this, Sweets. I promise you that." He touched Grayson on the tip of the nose. "Isn't that right, little man?" He stretched out & let out another huge yawn. "I'll take that as a yes." Nick kissed the side of my head. "I love you, Laney."

I sniffled back some tears. "I love you too, Carter."

The first week flew by in a flash. I was settled in at home & after a few days Grayson got to join me. Nick had been nothing but wonderful to me & Gray. I felt closer to him that ever before. He'd been staying with me every night. They still hadn't located Micah, but I knew it was only a matter of time before he surfaced again.. I was a little nervous because of that. Not only was Nick there, I had my bodyguard fly in & he was staying in one of the guest rooms at my parents house. Not too mention the police officers that were taking shifts out in front of the house. For now I was safe, but eventually I would have to venture back into the world.

A shrill cry pulled me from my thoughts. I sat up as quickly as I could. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Relax Laney, I'll get him." I sighed & laid back down. I watched as Nick got out of bed & padded across the room to the bassinet & leaned over picking Grayson up. "Hey now, little man, what's all the screaming about? Huh?" He walked back over & sat in the bed next to me. "Are you hungry, Gray? Is that it?" He handed him over to me. "You stay here with Mommy & I'll go get you a bottle."

I smiled & took him. "Thanks, Carter." He kissed my cheek & got up to go downstairs. I looked down at my precious baby boy. He was staring at me intently. "I'm trying so hard to be strong & not get used to this, Gray. I can't lie to him forever. He has to know the truth & I know as soon as I tell him he's going to re-think his decision to be with us." I kissed Grayson's forehead. "I just don't know how to tell him."

"Tell who what?" I hadn't heard him come back in. He handed me the bottle before climbing in the bed next to me.

"Huh?"

"Don't be keeping secrets, Lane."

I smiled. "I'm not. It's just I haven't talked to my publicist since all of this happened. I just don't know what I'm going to tell Rick."

"Well, for starters you're going to hire a new publicist. You know Rick & Micah have ties together."

I gasped. "Oh my God, Carter. I didn't even think of that."

He chuckled. "Well, hun, you have been a little preoccupied."

I nodded. "Isn't that the truth?"

"Let me handle everything. I'll contact your lawyer about Rick & I'll give my publicist a call. I'll set up a time for her to come out here. I'm sure Renee wouldn't mind taking you on."

"You really are too good to me, Carter."

"You just concentrate on taking care of this little guy & I'll concentrate on taking care of you."

Nick took Grayson from me & put him back in his bassinet. I look at the clock, realizing it was only 4 am. I saw Carter looking at me through the shadows. "Get some sleep, Laney. He'll be awake again in a couple hours."

I cuddled up in the blankets. "Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to go send a quick email to Renee to call me as soon as she wakes up."

"Okay." He went to leave the room. "Carter?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you again."

"No need for thanks."

***
NICK

I left Laney's room, grabbing my laptop bag on the way out. I set it up on the kitchen table downstairs. I quickly logged into my email. There really wasn't anything too important as I scrolled through. Finally one caught my eye. It was from Carly & it was marked urgent. I clicked on it.

Nicky,
I'm so sorry. I should've given you the benefit of the doubt. I was foolish to let you go & I hope that maybe we can talk sometime soon. I tried calling, but your phone has been off. I love you so much.

XOXO,
Carly

"Fantastic." I said out loud. "Just what I fucking need right now."

"Language, young man." I jumped at the sound of Laney's father's voice.

I closed my laptop & looked at him. "I'm sorry, Mr. Davis."

He made himself a cup of coffee & sat across from me. "What's on your mind, son?"

I shook my head. "Oh, a lot of things. I'm worried about Laney. I'm hoping they find Micah soon. She can't stay here forever."

He nodded. "I know. I hope they find him soon too. I always knew that boy was bad news. Even when they were just young kids growing up." He took a sip of his coffee. "When she came back here after what happened she was so broken. I think he took advantage of that. There's a part of me that thinks he got her pregnant purposely so she wouldn't have a choice but to marry him."

I knew I had hurt her, but her father was making me realize that this was my fault. Had I not made a stupid choice that night none of this would be happening. I felt like an absolute piece of shit. "Nick, I know that you still care about my daughter, but she's so fragile right now. A relationship is the last thing that she needs to worry about."

"Mr. Davis, that's the last thing on my mind right now. I just want to be there for her & Grayson. I made a mistake in the past & I pay for that every day. I assure you that I do not ever want to hurt Laney again."

"Good, I'd hate to have to come after you."

I nervously chuckled. "I promise you, sir." I heard Grayson start fussing from upstairs. "I better go check on him." I got up & started towards the stairs.

"You're a good man, Nick. True, you've made mistakes, but Laney really is lucky to have you in her life." He told me.

"Thank you, sir. That means a lot." And with that I made my way back upstairs.

Another month passed. Another month without them finding him. I was beginning to feel like they weren't even trying. I was beginning to get very nervous because I was due to go back out on tour in just six short weeks. Then he would know my every move.

Nick had been so great these past weeks since the incident & he is so amazing with Grayson. I was sad that he had to go back out to California in just a couple of day. He had set up with his publicist for me. She had flown out her a few weeks ago to help me prepare a statement to release to the press. News of the birth of Grayson & my estranged husband was all over the news & internet. Rick had legally been let go, which hadn't been a pretty confrontation. I'm just glad I wasn't the one delivering that news to him. Divorce papers had also been filed & as for custody of Grayson - well not judge in his right mind would let that lunatic near any child. Besides the birth certificate said nothing about Micah Wallace being the father. On paper that child was Nick's. He had made the decision to sign the birth certificate. He & I were the only ones the knew that though, other than the nurses at the hospital of course. It was our little secret.

Secrets, I sure had a lot of those right now. I was torn from my thoughts when my mother knocked on my bedroom door & peeked in. "May I come in?"

I nodded. She walked in & took a seat in my desk chair. She had a strange look on her face. I couldn't exactly read it. "Momma, what is it?"

"It's about Micah." That had my attention. I sat up quickly.

"Did they find him?" I asked, hopeful. Just maybe this nightmare would be over & I could go back to living my life. She nodded.

"He was served the divorce papers, Lane."

"Well, that's good news, right?"

She didn't seem to enthusiastic. "He's refusing to sign them. He wants to see the baby, Laney."

"No. Absolutely not. That is NOT happening. I am not taking that baby anywhere near him."

"Alaina, I know what he's done is beyond awful, but he has rights."

"He has absolutely no rights. He is NOT that baby's father." I said, raising my voice slightly. I gasped when I realized what I had just said.

She stared at me. "What do you mean, Laney? Of course he is."

I sighed. "Momma, please, just forget I said anything...I'll think about it."

"Absolutely not. You will tell me what is going on & you will tell me now, young lady."

I hated the fact that my Mom could read me like a book. I guess I couldn't keep it a secret from her any longer. "Momma.....if I tell you, you have to promise me that you will not say a word to anyone....especially Nick. I can't bare to lose him right now & I know that's exactly what's going to happen when he finds out what I've done."

"Alaina, you know I can't promise that....Just tell me. What is going on?"

I took a deep breath. "Nick's not here right now is he?" She shook her head. "Ok...Remember how I was out here visiting right before Nick & I broke up?" She nodded her head. That had been where I was coming home from the morning my world shattered. "Well, while I was here I kind of did a terrible thing. I didn't know it at the time, but when Nick & I broke up I was already pregnant."

Her eyes grew wide. "So Nick is Grayson's father?"

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm not sure....."

"Alaina Marie, what do you mean 'you're not sure'? What did you do?"

"I cheated on him, Momma... I'm no better than he is..."

She hugged me tight. "Oh honey, I can't believe you would do that...."

"It was a mistake. A stupid mistake & look at what it's caused me. It's going to cost me every bit of happiness I have left."

She sat back. "You have to tell him. Nick has been so good to you these last weeks & to Grayson. He deserves to know the truth. You have to find out if he's the father or if it's Micah..."

I closed my eyes, trying to conceal the tears. It was no use. "Momma, I don't wanna lose him. I love him too much to let him go."

"To let who go?" Nick said from the doorway holding Grayson. "What's going on? Are you okay, Lane?"

I hadn't heard him come in. "Uhm...yeah....I'm okay. It's just they caught Micah. He's demanding to see Grayson before he'll even consider signing the divorce papers."

"What? That's bullshit."

"Nick! Watch you language...." My mother said.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Davis." She stood up & took Grayson from Nick's arms.

"It's okay, just don't let it happen again." She turned to me. "I'll leave you two alone to talk." With that she was out of the room & it was just the two of us. It was the moment of truth. I could do this. I had to do this, no matter the outcome. I owed it to him...Hell, I owed it to Grayson. Especially if Nick did turn out to be the father.

Nick entered the room & shut the door behind him. He came & sat down next to me on the bed. Already I felt the tears threatening my eyes. I closed them for a moment & sighed. "Lane, what's going on? You're starting to worry me." I opened my eyes back up & saw him looking into them. He took my hands in his.

"Nick, I need to tell you something."

He nodded. "Okay, go for it. I'm all ears."

I took a deep breath. Here we go. "I've been lying to you."

He let go of my hands. I knew this was going to be the end of me & him. I just knew it. "What do you mean? Lying about what?"

I couldn't hold in the tears any longer. One fell from my eye. I didn't bother to wipe it away. "It's possible that Gray really is your son."

He chuckled. "Laney, there is no way Grayson is really mine. You and I had already broken up when you got pregnant with him. Legally, he is my son, but biologically, no. Although I wish he were. I'd give anything for him to be my flesh & blood, Laney."

"When we broke up I was in the early stages of my pregnancy, I had no idea I was pregnant."

His eyes widened. "So....he really is mine? Why on earth would you ever try & pass him off as Micah's then? You should of just come & told me, Alaina."

This was it. "Because there's also the possibility that he's Micah's son."

He stood up & began pacing. He stopped & looked at me. Hurt was the only expression I could see on his face. Hurt & Confusion. "But that would mean..."

"I cheated on you with him." I said quietly. I closed my eyes. I couldn't bare to see the look on his face anymore.

"What?" he asked. I could feel his face only inches from mine. "Say that again?"

I opened my eyes, looking at him; tears streaming down my face. "When I was here visiting I cheated on you with him. I realize what a huge mistake it was, Nick."

"So...you come home & find me with someone else, you thought you could come back here, hook up with Micah & I would never find out what a lying little hypocrite you really are?" He was angry; not that I could really blame him. I had been lying to him for months. By this time I was sobbing.

"Nick, please. Please don't hate me. I need you too much right now, I love you. I shouldn't have done what I did, but it's already happened. Grayson needs you too. He needs his Daddy. Please..." Begging was never my strong point, but I thought I would give it a shot. I couldn't let him leave now. Not after everything that happened.

He stood there pacing again. He stopped & looked deep in thought. "I need to know if he's mine, Alaina."

I nodded. "Of course. We can get a test."

"If he's not mine, I'm still going to be there for him, but we're done."

"And if he is yours?"

"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

I nodded. At least there was still a slight glimmer of hope for us. Now I just prayed that those tests came back in my favor. "I'll make a doctor's appointment today."

A slight knock on the door interrupted out conversation; I was glad. Nick opened my bedroom door. "Hey Mrs. D."

"Sorry to intrude, but this little guy is due for a changing & all his things are in here." I stood up & took Gray from my mother's arms.

"Thanks, Momma. I'll take care of it." She just nodded & turned to go back downstairs. I laid Grayson down on the bed & began changing his diaper. I could feel Nick standing behind me.

"I pray to God that he's mine, Laney."

I didn't look at him, just continued with what I was doing. "Me too, Carter. I've prayed every night since I found out he existed." I got Grayson dressed & turned around. "Can you watch him for a minute while I go call the doctor? I want to get in as soon as possible."

He held out his arms. "Sure." I walked towards the door. "Lane?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for telling me the truth."

I nodded. "I had no choice. It was eating me up inside. I'm sorry for what I did."

"We've both made mistakes, let's just hope this one has a happy ending, for Grayson's sake."

I smiled & continued down the stairs.

LANEY

"Alaina, are you sure about all this?" My father asked me after I got off the phone with the doctor. My mother had no doubt filled him in on my latest drama.

"Daddy, Nick wants to know. He deserves to know whether or not Gray is his son."

He nodded his head & sighed. "And have you decided what you're going to do about the tour? Your publicist has been calling all morning," he asked.

It was my turn for the heavy sigh. "I honestly don't know. I haven't really given it much thought since all of this happened. In my heart I know that canceling the tour is the best option; at least for right now. I just hate to let all my fans down."

"Then you'll postpone it a few months. We'll worry about that later," I heard Nick say from the doorway behind me. I turned to look at him. He looked amazing standing there holding Grayson. Fatherhood would definitely suit him. I just hoped that the tests came back positive that he was Gray's biological father. It would certainly be the silver lining in this whole mess that my life had become recently. I smiled at him as I took Grayson from his arms. "What did the doctor say?"

"She can see us today in about an hour. It'll take about a week to get the results back."

"A week?! But I'll be back in LA. Can't they speed it up a bit? This is kind of an important issue."

I shook my head. "No, I asked her what the soonest would be she said a week." He sighed & sat down at the table across from my father.

"For what it's worth Nick, I see a lot of you in him," My mother told him.

"Really? You think so?"

"I do," she said. "He definitely has your nose and your eyes."

My father nodded his head in agreement with my mother. "I'd almost bet money that he was yours; that is if I were a betting man."

"Well, thank you, Mr. & Mrs. Davis. I really appreciate that." He looked at me. "I guess we better get going."

I nodded. "Yeah. I guess so. I'll go get him bundled up."

-NICK-

"Mr. & Mrs. Davis, I just want you to know that no matter what happens I'm going to be a father figure to that baby boy. I wouldn't dream of abandoning him."

"We know that, Nick. You're a good man. What about Alaina?" Mrs. Davis asked.

"To be honest, I don't know yet."

"She really does love you, Nick. It's always been you with her. I knew something was going on when she just up & announced that she was marrying Micah."

"I love Laney. She owns my heart, but she lied to me."

"You really can't judge her though, Nick. You were unfaithful to her as well."

I nodded. They were right; calling her a hypocrite was basically making me the biggest one on the planet.

"Look, we're not asking you to marry her, son. We're just asking that maybe you try & make things work. Take things slow. You owe it to that child." Mr. Davis had a point.

"I guess we'll just see what happens with the tests. Either way I have a lot to take into consideration."

"We're ready, Carter." Laney said. She really was beautiful; standing there bundled up, holding a giant blue blanket that quite possibly held my entire future. Could I see myself living the family life with Laney? Of course, but how would I feel after the results came in? What if I wasn't the father? I just prayed that I didn't have a change of heart if they didn't come back the way I wanted them to. Only time would tell.

LANEY

"Ok, Alaina & Nick, we should have the results in 5-7 days. I will give you a call the moment they're in." Dr. Wischer explained.

"And you're sure that's the soonest we can find out?" I knew Nick was upset that he'd be across the country when we'd have our answer.

"I'm going to rush them as much as I can. Nick, I assure you that you're case is a top priority." She told him. I'm sure it didn't satisfy him in the least, but he was going to have to deal with it. I was just as anxious for the results. If it came back that Nick was the father, then my divorce from Micah would be a hell of a lot easier. I just want to move on with my life.

"Thank you, Dr. Wischer. We'll be waiting for your call." With that, I began to collect our things & I bundled Grayson into his car seat.

***

"You're quiet." I said to Nick as we drove back to my parents house.

"I've got a lot on my mind, Lane."

"And you think I don't?"

"I still can't believe this is all happening."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

He quickly glanced at me before turning his eyes back to the road. "Well, I guess it's a good thing I found out. The sooner we find out, the sooner Micah is out of our lives for good. I just wish I was going to be there when she calls."

"Carter, I'll call you the second I'm off the phone with her. I promise."

He nodded. "I have to admit I'm a little afraid of how I'm going to feel if he's not mine."

I sighed. "Yeah, I'm a little afraid of that too, but we'll cross that bridge when and if we get there."

"I don't wanna leave the two of you in a couple days. Maybe I'll just cancel."

"Nick, it's your job, & if anyone is going to understand it, it's me. I am in the same line of work, ya know."

He chuckled. "True. To me you're just a Mommy now. How are you going to handle all this press?"

"I'll deal with it. Renee set up some radio interviews for next week, so my fans will know I'm at least still alive."

"That's probably a good idea." I heard Grayson begin whimpering in the back seat. "Good thing we're almost back to your parents. Someone must be hungry."

I smiled. "Yeah, he is due a feed." We pulled into the drive & Nick quickly got out of the car, opening the back door & unbuckling Grayson from his seat.

"I've got him, you go get his bottle ready. We'll be there in a minute." I smiled, and made my way inside.

***

NICK-

Today was the day I had been dreading all week. Here we were sat, at the airport, waiting on my flight back to LA. I'd be gone for at least a week, if not longer. I didn't want to leave Laney & Grayson behind, but I knew it was something I'd have to do. The past couple of days since we had our visit with the doctor had me really thinking. I had been thinking about every little aspect of my life. Laney was & still is the best thing that had ever happened to me, but even though I know I did the same thing to her, I couldn't help but feel hurt & betrayed by her. I don't even really think I was that upset that she had cheated on me; I'd just be the biggest hypocrite in the world if that were the case. I think the reason I was upset was because she had never told me about Grayson. Even all of those times I had seen her out on the road, she had been passing that baby off as his; and for what reason? Did she honestly think that I would turn & run the other way if I knew that there was even the remote possibility I was a father? Sure, I probably would've freaked out a bit, but it's not like we'd really been doing our part to prevent the possibility. Now there was nothing I wanted more than to be the biological father to that boy. We'd bonded & I had this sinking feeling in my gut that if I didn't get what I wanted I was going to be so disappointed that I wouldn't be able to look at him & not be reminded of what I will probably never have. Maybe it was best that I wasn't going to be there when Laney got the results. If I wasn't the father, it would give me some time to compose myself & let it sink in before I had to see her & Grayson again. Or maybe if I wasn't the father I could just turn & look the other way; not even bother going back to her. Who am I kidding? I love her; and Daddy or not, I loved him too.

"I'm really going to miss you being around, Carter." She spoke from her seat next to me in the terminal. "I think Grayson is too."

I took him from her arms. "I'm going to miss you & your Mommy so bad, little man." I kissed him on the top of his head, hearing my boarding call. We both stood up, I pulled Laney close to me. "You'll call me the second you hear from her? I don't care what time it is."

She nodded into my chest. "I promise, Carter. And you'll call as soon as you land in LA, so I know you made it?"

It as my turn to nod. "Yes, of course." I placed another kiss on Grayson's little head. "See ya later, buddy." I handed him back to Laney & leaned down to kiss her cheek. "We'll talk soon."

She nodded & smiled. "I love you, Nick."

With that I smiled, turned & headed towards my gate. Sure, I should've said it back, but I can't get in that deep just yet. Not only for me, but I can't give her false hope that everything is going to be okay.

***

4 DAYS LATER - LANEY

"Alaina, Phone!" I heard my father yell up the stairs. I quickly jumped up of my bed. It was early, so early in fact that I was still half asleep. I made my way down the stairs, grabbing the baby monitor as I walked out the door.

I took the phone from my father's hand. "Thanks Daddy." He smiled. I had a feeling this was the phone call I had been anxiously awaiting. I put the phone up to my ear. "Hello?"

"Alaina Davis?"

"Yes, this is her."

"This is Dr. Wischer's office. We have your results."

I took a deep breath. "And?"

"There is a 99.99% chance that Mr. Carter is the father."

I couldn't contain myself. Tears were instantly cascading down my cheeks. Tears of joy, of course. "Oh my goodness, thank you so much."

"I'm glad we could be of assistance to you. You can pick up your copy of the results at the office anytime."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" We ended the phone call & I turned to face my father & my mother who had no doubt ran into the kitchen the moment she heard the phone ring. "Nick IS Grayson's father!" I exclaimed.

"Oh baby! That's such wonderful news!" My mother hugged me first, then my father.

"Now we just need to get this divorce finalized so you can be a proper family," he said. I looked at him.

"Daddy, I'm not forcing him into anything. I just want him to be there for Gray & he will be," I told him. "Speaking of, I better go call him. He's going to be so happy."

"Go on," my mother said. "I'll listen for the baby."

"Thank you, Momma." I took the phone & headed into my father's office. I quickly dialed Nick's cell phone number. If it were only 8 in the morning this was surely going to be an early wake up call for him, but he said anytime.

It was 3 rings before I heard him answer the phone. "Lane?"

"Hi." I was trying to contain myself long enough to tell him. "The doctor's office just called."

"And what did they have to say?"

I was crying. "Congratulations, You're a Daddy!"

"Are you kidding me?!" I could tell he was awake now.

I shook my head as if he could see me. "No. Of course not. You're Gray's father."

"Oh my god, this is...wow...this is the most amazing feeling I've ever felt in my life. I'm going to catch the next flight out."

"But Nick, you're job?"

"It can wait. My son is much more important right now."

"I love the sound of that." I said.

"Me too."

"I have my first radio interview tomorrow, maybe you can be here for it. I'm not sure how you want to handle all of this."

"I'll be there. I'm going to get my shit together & I'll be home to you soon."

I smiled. "Okay."

"And Lane..."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Nick."

***

NICK

"Nick, you can't just up and leave, we're in the middle of recording. What the hell is so important that you have to rush off?" Howie asked me. I wanted to seriously punch him.

I rolled my eyes. "You guys will find out soon enough, I just really HAVE to go."

"For how long?" Brian questioned.

"I'm not sure. A couple weeks maybe."

"A couple of weeks?!" Howie was beginning to grate on my nerves.

"Listen, it has to do with Laney & Grayson. I have to go be with them right now."

"Nick, that child isn't even yours." AJ had to chime in.

"Well, I suppose now is as good of a time as any to tell you guys, but if you tell anyone, I will hurt you."

"Tell us what?" Brian asked.

"Laney & I had a test done. I am actually Grayson's father. We just got the results today." They all just stared at me in shock. "So you see, I need to be with Laney & my SON."

"Wow. I can't believe this," Howie said.

"Just go, Nick. We'll get our tracks done & add you in later. Just please, keep us posted." Brian told me.

"Thanks. I'll be in touch." With that, I left to head to the airport to catch my flight back to my son. That still just sounds way too weird, but I've never been so happy in my life.

Chapter 16

"Thanks for tuning to the show today everyone. Today we're going to be talking with pop superstar, Alaina Davis, about the upcoming tour & how motherhood has changed her life. She also has a life changing announcement to share with all of us, so you'll definitely want to stay tuned because we'll have all of that after the break," the DJ announced. It was the moment of truth. Today I would announce my divorce from Micah, I would explain to my fans why I'd been in hiding the last couple of months & I was about to break millions of girls hearts by announcing the fact that Nick was the father of my beautiful baby boy & that he & I were planning to spend our lives together. I could only hope that people would be supportive. After all, they'd been supportive of our relationship the first time around. Hopefully this wouldn't be any different. "And we're back. Joining us now on the phone from her home in Virginia is Miss Alaina Davis! Alaina, it's a pleasure to have you on the show today. How has life been treating you?"

I chuckled. Wow I could really elaborate on that couldn't I? "Well, it's been pretty hectic & crazy since the first leg of the tour ended. I've filed for divorce from Micah, had a beautiful baby boy & am embarking on a new journey of my life with the man of my dreams."

"Rumors have been speculating about what exactly happened between you & Micah, and we're going to respect your privacy & not ask exactly what went down, but you are confirming the divorce is a fact?"

I nodded as if he could see me. "Yes, the papers were filed & it should be finalized within the next couple of months."

"How is this going to work in terms of custody with your child?"

"Well, that won't be an issue. That is one of the other announcements that I wanted to make publicly before it was all over the internet. Micah is not the father of my son."

"Oh really? Interesting. Do you wish to share with us the true identity of your son's father?"

"I feel as though the public has a right to know that my son's father is Nick Carter & we have reconnected. We're stronger than ever & I hope that the fans, both mine & his, will be supportive of us in this new adventure."

"Well, congratulations to the both of you."

"Thank you very much. We're both very happy & are excited to start this new life together."

"That's great. Now, to get back to your career, you will be heading out on a second leg of your North American tour in just a couple of weeks, is that correct?"

"Yes, it sure is." I said. "The tour is going to pick back up in Atlanta & will hit another 35 cities before ending in Los Angeles. I'm really excited to get back out there."

"Well, we're certainly excited to see you again & we hope to talk with you again real soon, Alaina."

"Thank you, anytime."

"For a complete list of Alaina Davis tour dates, be sure to visit her website. We'll be right back after the break." The station went to commercial & I ended my conversation with the DJ.

Once I was off the phone I turned to Nick who had been sitting next to me the entire call. "You did great, Lane."

"I just really hope I did the right thing. I just really felt in my heart that the public needed to know."

Nick just smiled & pulled me close to him. "Everything is going to be great from here on out."

"I guess I need to start looking into hiring a nanny to take out on tour with me now, there's not much time left until the tour starts."

"Actually, I've been thinking about that...."

I looked at him, no doubt my face was riddled with confusion. "Oh yeah?"

He nodded. "Yup. I'm going to go on tour with you."

I laughed. "Carter, are you forgetting that you're in the middle of recording an album in LA?"

"Nope, I haven't forgotten, but I think I'm going to take a break from the group to focus on Grayson. We haven't decided on a release date yet, I just think I'll take a few months off & go on your tour with you, then when you're done touring I'll go back into the studio."

"Nick, that sounds amazing, but you have the other 3 guys to think about."

"They'll just have to understand." I had to admire Nick. He had spent the last several months trying to accept the fact that I was married to another man & expecting a baby. Now the tables had turned completely. Here I was on the verge of a divorce from a man I never should of married in the first place & now Nick was suddenly a father. I couldn't help, but wonder how different things would be if I wouldn't of just left that day when I walked in on him & the skanky blonde bimbo, he later started dating. A part of me was worried that when he went back to LA she'd be waiting for him. I knew that he loved Grayson, and for that matter, I knew that he loved me, but I wondered how long it would take until the pressure got to him & he ran.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

He just smiled. "I love you too."

***

"Breaking News - MTV Studios has learned that Nick Carter has decided to take some time away from the Backstreet Boys. This news coming only hours after pop star, Alaina Davis, appeared on a morning radio show stating that the couple had reconciled after their 2010 break up & that he is the father of her now six week old son. MTV will keep you up to date with the latest news on this and other breaking news stories." I flipped off the television & looked at my Momma who had been sitting there watching the announcement with me. Nick had gone to the store to pick up some things for Grayson.

"Well..." I asked her.

"I have to be honest, sweetheart. I'm really surprised that he's done this for you. I thought for sure he would do the wrong thing & put his career first."

I nodded. "If I'm being honest, I was afraid of that myself, but he's been so great. It's been a crazy couple of months, but I think I see the light at the end of this tunnel. I'm so happy, Momma. He makes me so happy."

"And he's going to join you on tour to take care of Grayson, right? You know your father & I wouldn't mind keeping him."

I shook my head. "I couldn't leave him here for that long, I'd miss so much. He's already changed so much since we brought him home from the hospital."

"I just don't want it to become to overwhelming for him, honey. Afterall, he's just a baby."

"I know, Momma. The moment I feel like it's becoming too much is the moment I come home."

"Good." She leaned over & gave me a hug. "I love you, Alaina."

"I love you too, Momma." Grayson picked that moment to start screaming from upstairs. "Mommy duties call. I'm going to go check on him & then probably lay down, could you please let Nick know when he gets home?" She nodded & I got up & headed upstairs to check on him.

Chapter 17

(Nick's Point of View)

Shortly after Laney's interview with the morning radio show was over, I told her I was going to run to the store to pick up a few things & I also had to make some phone calls. I had decided to go through with the break from the Backstreet Boys. At first, when I'd called & discussed it with them they were angry, but I explained everything that was going on & eventually I won the argument. There was no way I was letting someone I didn't know take care of my child on Alaina's tour. There was also no way I was going to miss months of his life while he was gone. If you'd asked me a year ago what it would be like to be a father I probably would've laughed and told you it was never going to happen. Yet here I was. Daddy to one of the most precious baby boys in the entire world. Okay, so maybe I was a little biased. This crazy event had also brought me back to the love of my life, Laney. I'd wanted nothing more than to have her back & I had never been happier. Hence the reason I'm at this store right now, looking at rings. I know her divorce won't be finalized for a couple of months & I know that I have some unfinished business to take care of with Carly in Los Angeles, but I want nothing more than to ask Laney to be my wife & I plan to do that tonight. I just hope she'll say yes.

***

I walked through the front door of Laney's parents home carrying my bags from the store. I was quickly greeted by her mother who took the bags of diapers & baby supplies from my arms. "Did you get it?" She asked excitedly.

I smiled and nodded. "Where is she?"

"Lying down with the baby. Can I see it?"

I reached in my pocket pulling out a tiny ring box & handing it to her mother. She opened it up and her eyes widened. "Oh Nick, this is absolutely gorgeous. She is going to love it."

I took the box back and put it back into my pocket. I didn't want to chance Laney finding it before I was ready. "You think so? I have to admit I'm a little nervous that she's going to say no."

"Nick, she loves you very much. Just earlier we actually were talking about how we're amazed at how great you've been through all of the stuff with Micah & now the baby. You've become a wonderful young man and I know I can't wait to officially welcome you to the family."

I couldn't help but smile. "Is Mr. Davis home? I really feel like I need to have a talk with him before I ask for Laney's hand, ya know? I need his blessing. I've not always been his favorite person."

"He's in his office. I think that's a wise decision, Nick." She smiled as I took off towards his office. I knocked gently on the door.

"Who is it?" Mr. Davis said.

"It's Nick."

"Come on in, son. It's open."

I took a deep breath & opened the door. "Mr. Davis, I need to ask you a question." I spoke as I took a seat in the chair across from his desk.

"Shoot, son."

"I would like to ask for Laney's hand in marriage, but I would really love your blessing first." The words slipped out of my mouth as if it were meant to happen. It was so much easier than I had imagined it would be.

He took his reading glasses off and sat them on his desk, leaning forward a bit, resting is elbows on the top of the desk. "Nick, I think you're a very noble man for wanting to step up & do the right thing by my daughter & grandson. I think you're going to make a great addition to this family, but if you hurt them it's going to be me you're dealing with. You understand?"

I nodded my head. "Yes, sir. I would never dream of doing anything to screw this up. I love Laney & Grayson with all of my heart. They are my world now & nothing is ever going to change that."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that." He stood from his desk & extended his hand to me. I stood up and took it. "Welcome to the family, son." We shook hands.

"Thank you, sir." He sat back down, as did I.

"Now, when are you planning on asking Alaina?"

"Tonight. I'm planning to take her out and ask her tonight. Which reminds me, do you think you & Mrs. Davis can keep Grayson for a few hours tonight?"

He nodded. "Of course. We'd be happy to."

"Thank you. I guess I better go get things ready."

"Make it perfect, Nick. This one is going to last her the rest of her life." I knew he meant the proposal. I intended to make it a night she'd never forget. I intended to make it one of the best nights of her entire life.

***

I had everything I needed for my special evening with Laney packed in the car before she even woke up from her nap. Grayson actually woke up an hour before she had, so I'd gone up & gotten him from his crib. We were now sitting out on the balcony, watching as a early spring shower began to fall from the sky. "Alright, Little Man, there's something I need to talk to you about." I said, holding him up in front of me. His big blue eyes staring intently, as if he understood exactly what I was saying. "Daddy is going to ask Mommy a very important question tonight and I need to get your okay before I ask." I know it sounds crazy, but it looked like he slightly nodded. I smiled before continuing. "I'm going to ask Mommy to be with me for the rest of my life tonight, it's something I should have done a long time ago, but Daddy hasn't always been so smart." Grayson giggled. I swear this kid knew what I saying, word for word. I could help but chuckle a bit myself. "So is it okay with you if I ask Mommy to marry me?" A smile grew on his face. At that moment I knew I was doing the right thing. This was where I belonged; right here with my beautiful baby boy that Laney had given me & with her. She truly was my soulmate & I knew that. Even though I always swore I didn't believe in that sort of thing.

"Hey. What are you guys doing out here?" I heard Laney say from the french doors behind me. She walked over and gave me a kiss.

"Gray & I were just having a little man to man conversation. Weren't we, buddy?" I tickled his belly & he giggled.

"Oh, is that so?" She smiled taking a seat in the chair next to me, propping her feet up on the railing of the balcony. "You could've woke me when he got up." She leaned over putting her head on my shoulder.

"You needed your rest, I've made some plans for us tonight."

"Oh yeah? And just what might those plans be?"

"You'll just have to wait and see, love. Your parents are going to watch Gray."

"Oooh, date night?" She asked.

I nodded. "Yup, date night."

"I guess I better go start getting ready then." With that she gave me another quick kiss & headed back inside.

"You think Mommy is going to say yes, Little Man?" I asked Grayson. He smiled. That was enough of a confirmation for me. Tonight was going to be great.

***

Chapter 18

"Okay, Momma, I'll have my cell phone on if you need to get in touch with me for any reason, okay?" I told my mother. I was excited about 'date night' with Nick, but I still got nervous leaving Grayson for extended periods of time.

She smiled & guided me to the front door. "Alaina, I can handle my grandson just fine. Now go, enjoy yourself. You & Nick need this time together."

I nodded. "Thank you, Momma. I love you."

She leaned in and gave me a hug. "I love you too, now go. Grayson will be fine."

I smiled & turned to walk out the front door. Nick was still upstairs with Grayson, but had told me to go ahead & wait in the car. I had to admit I was slightly nervous. I hadn't been on a date in a really long time and even though this was far from being my first date with Nick, it kind of felt like one.

I headed down to the car & took a seat in the passenger side. I took my spare set of keys out of my purse & put them in the ignition so that I could listent to the radio. Suddenly, I wished that I hadn't.

"This is your hourly VH1 Music News update. Reports are now surfacing that not only did Backstreet Boys heartthrob Nick Carter father the child of pop singer, Alaina Davis, but a Los Angeles waitress, whose name has not been released, is now claiming that she is expecting his child in just a few months. We've not been able to reach Mr. Carter for comment, but we will be sure to keep you up to date on this media nightmare."

I quickly turned the radio off & tried to contain my tears. I knew that the 'Los Angeles waitress' was Carly, & I also knew that there was a very real possibility that her claims were true. I managed to compose myself when I saw Nick walking out the front door, waving goodbye to Grayson, who was in my mother's arms. What would I do if it were true?

"Everything okay?" Nick asked me as he got into the driver seat. I just nodded & looked out the window.

"I'm just nervous leaving Grayson."

He smiled. "Lane, he's with your folks, he'll be fine. It's not like we're going to be gone forever. It's just a few hours."

I nodded. "You're right. Now where are you taking me on this adventure tonight?"

"You'll see, it's a surprise."

***

(Nick's Point of View)

We drove for what seemed like forever until we reached the park. Not just any park, it was the park in which I first realized just how much I loved Laney. It was only about an hour away from her parents home & Laney had brought me here the first time we came to her home so I could meet her parents. She had told me this was one of her favorite places in the world to visit. She told me that she would often come out there to write because it gave her such inspiration. It was at this park that I first told her I loved her; I felt it was only appropriate. "The park?" She asked.

I smiled. "I couldn't think of a better place for tonight."

She gave me a look. "What's so special about tonight? It's not an anniversary or anything."

"You'll see, Laney." I parked the car. "Come on." We got out of the car & I went around to the trunk. I had packed a picnic, so to speak. The ground was just slightly damp from the rain showers earlier, but I wasn't going to let that put a damper on what was about to happen. We hiked for about 15 or 20 minutes before we reached the exact spot where I'd told her I loved her. I knew she remembered because as soon as we stopped she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"I made us a late night picnic. Here, help me with this blanket." She didn't question me, just came over to help me with the blanket I'd pack. We spread it out across the ground & I sat the basket down on top of it. "Come here." I motioned for her & she approached me. I wrapped my arms around her. "Are you sure you're okay?" She nodded against my chest. I pulled back & looked into her eyes. "Have a seat...."

She sat on the blanket & I sat down next to her. "Thank you for doing this tonight, Nick. It was really sweet of you."

This was it, the moment of truth. I had been going over my speech all day long in my head. I just wanted to make sure I told her how I felt & how much I loved her & our son. How much I wanted to be right here for the rest of my life. "I'd do anything for you, Laney, you know that." She smiled & nodded. The moonlight casting a glow across her face. "Laney, for the past year I've been beating myself up over everything that's happened between us. I spent countless nights trying to figure out a way to get you back in my life, but never in my life did I think it would actually happen. Not only did I get you back, but I gained so much more because you gave me the wonderful, amazing gift of my baby boy." I paused & took a shaky breath. "I've never really been the guy that falls in love, but I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I just want you to know that this is where I want to be for the rest of my days, Laney. I love you & our son so much & I can't imagine myself with anyone else, but the two of you." I sat up on my knees in front of her, reaching in my pocket & pulling out the ring I'd purchased hours earlier. "Alaina Marie Davis, I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

I could see her eyes grow wider as she looked from my eyes to the ring I was clutching between my thumb & index finger. She opened her mouth a few times, but it was as if she could find the words to say. I saw her blink & tears escaped her eyes. "Nick, I want so badly to say yes to you right now. You have no idea how much I want to say yes, but..." I sat back on my bottom, clutching the ring tightly in my hand. She was turning me down. I had screwed up again, big surprise. "Nick, I have to ask you something before I give you an answer." I sighed & nodded. "Is Carly pregnant with your child?"

"What?!" I exclaimed. "What the hell makes you think that?"

"It's all over the radio, Nick. She's claiming to be with child....your child." I explained.

I sighed. I guess it was certainly possible, but I'd heard nothing about it. "Laney, I want to say that she's not, but I honestly don't know. I haven't talked to her in months. Regardless of whether she is or not, it doesn't change the way I feel about you. You are where I want to be."

I could see her nodding. "I want to believe that, Nick. I really do."

"Laney, I'm asking you to be my wife. I think that proves to you how serious I am about you & Grayson."

"And what if Carly is having your child?"

"It's not going to ever change the way I feel about you & Gray. I promise you that. Just please, say yes."

"I'm sorry, Nick. I can't. Not until I know for sure."

"Fine," I said, a little more angry that I had meant to. "I'll fly out to LA in the morning & find out what the hell is going on. Even now that lying little bitch is screwing up my life."

"Nick, I'm sorry. Can we please go home now?"

"Yeah, whatever." I said. We stood up & I grabbed our stuff & started walking back towards the car. I had never been so humiliated & angry in my life. Surely Carly wasn't pregnant with my child, she would've let me know by now. Hell, now that I think about it she told me she wasn't even able to have children. I was going to get to the bottom of this, and soon. My future depended on it.

***

We didn't speak the entire ride home. We pulled into the driveway & silently made our way inside. Her mother was waiting up in the living room, no doubt ready to congratulate us, but I suppose she noticed the looks on our faces. Laney didn't even say anything to her mother, just went straight upstairs. "What happened?" Her mother asked.

"She said no."

Her mother looked shocked. "She what?"

"She said she couldn't marry me."

"Why on earth not?"

"Apparently, my ex is spreading some pretty vicious rumors to radio stations."

"And Laney heard?"

I nodded. "My ex is saying she's pregnant with my child."

"Oh my word. Is it true?"

I shook my head. "I really don't think so."

"Well, I have faith in you & I know that you'll get this sorted out."

"Thanks, Mrs. Davis. I'm going to go pack & catch the first flight out to LA to try and fix this."

"Everything will be fine, Nick. Just give her some time. She's been through a lot."

I nodded & headed upstairs to pack my bags.

***

Chapter 19

I had caught the earliest flight out that I could. I had just landed in LAX & I had every intention of hunting the bitch down & giving her a piece of my mind. I was not surprised when I stepped off the plan & was greeted by the flashes of the paparazzi's cameras. Word must have gotten out that I'd decided to fly back home to see my so-called "Baby Mama". She was a gold digging whore. That's all there was to it. She had told me that she wasn't able to have children, so I really didn't think she was actually telling the truth about being pregnant with my child, or any child for that matter. "Nick! Nick! Are you hear to see your baby's mother? What about Alaina & Grayson? Have you forgotten about them already?" They were yelling questions left and right, but over the years I'd learned to ignore them. I just pushed through & made my way through the airport. I'd packed everything I'd need in my carryon so I wouldn't have to worry about baggage claim. I was relieved when I saw AJ standing off to the side. I'd called him to see if he could possibly pick me up from the airport & give me a ride to where I needed to be. I had told him what had happened & he was just as pissed as I was. He'd been there through the whole Carly fiasco to begin with.

"Hey J. I'm sorry to drag you out this early."

"It's cool, man. It's something that needs to be taken care of. For the record, I just saw Carly last week in town & she sure as hell didn't look knocked up." We made our way out to his car. "And Rochelle said that she saw her out the other night with some people at a club downtown, and she sure as hell wasn't acting it either."

"That's because she's a lying piece of shit trying to ruin my life."

We got in his car & he drove me to Carly's apartment. "You want me to come up with you?" He asked me.

I shook my head. "No, I can handle it. Just wait here & I'll be back down soon." I walked inside & took the elevator up to her floor. In mere minutes I was standing outside her door. I could hear the TV on, so I knew she was home. I knocked on the door. "Carly, open up."

It took her a few minutes to come to the door. "Nick? What are you doing here?"

I pushed my way in. "I think you know."

"Uhm, actually no, I don't." She shut the door. "Please enlighten me."

"Why the fuck are you telling people you're having my baby, Carly?" I looked at her stomach. "You're clearly not pregnant. We haven't slept together in months, Carly."

She rolled her eyes. "I needed the money, so I told a few papers I was knocked up."

"Are you fucking kidding me? So to make a few bucks you're willing to not only screw up my life & Laney's life, but Grayson's as well?? An innocent little child? You are a piece of work, you know that? I'm sorry I ever fucking got involved with you in the first place."

"Look Nick, I'm sorry. It was a horrible thing to do, but what's done is done."

I shook my head. "No, Carly. YOU are going to fix this so that I can go back to Laney & tell her it was all a big misunderstanding. Do you understand me? WE are going to go on the record & let the world know what a lying whore you really are. Then after that you & I will no further contact, do you hear me?" She didn't say anything, just stood there staring. Sure, I had lost my temper a little bit, but I think it was warranted. This woman, no this immature little girl in front of me had sabotaged my life & for what? Not to get me back, no that would've been semi-understandable, but because she needed a few bucks. "I'll give you money if that's what you need, but you will fix this."

"Nick, I don't want your damn money. When I emailed you a few weeks ago you never responded, it made me angry. I didn't know what was really going on. Hell, I didn't even really know where you were or who you were with," she paused. "Then I turn on the radio yesterday to hear her....telling the world that you guys were back together & that you were her baby's father." She paused again, this time to wipe a few strays tears off her cheek. "Nick, it hurt me because I knew at that moment there was no 'getting you back'. I know how your childhood was, I know that you would never want that for your son. I knew at that moment that there was never going to be another chance for me. I had accepted that fact & had actually typed up an email to send you to say congratulations & goodbye.z88; That was when I started to receive the phone calls & emails from various radio stations & magazines. They were offering me wads of cash just for any little bit of information I'd throw at them. I'll admit, I got greedy & took them up on their offers, but I regretted it the moment it happened. All because deep down I realized the hurt I was going to cause you & your family. All because a part of me is still hopelessly in love with you."

It was a beautiful speech. I didn't know whether or not she was telling me the truth, but I felt in my heart that she was. The look of pain & regret on her face couldn't be hidden. I realized that a part of this was all my fault. I had left her to go to Laney. Anytime Laney needed me I was on the next flight out to wherever she was, whether her husband was there or not. It's always been me & Laney & I think somewhere deep inside her heart, Carly knew that. I had to admit that I felt a bit of saddness for her because not only had my entire world been turned upside down, but Carly's as well. "Carly, I never meant for any of this to hurt you. I've been so confused the past few months & well I think this is what's best. No, I know this is what's best. Laney & Grayson are where I belong. Let's just fix all of this so that we can both get on with our lives. You're young & beautiful, some man will be lucky to have you, I'm just not that man."

She nodded. "I still have the phone numbers of the magazines & stations that I spoke with. I guess I will call them back & set them straight." She walked over to her laptop, sat down & turned it on.

I went and sat next to her. "I think that would be a wise decision, Carly." For the next couple of hours, I sat there while she made all of her phone calls. Telling everyone that truth. I had called down to AJ and let him know what was going on & that I would call him when I needed him to come pick me back up. Finally, the last phone call was made & I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe, just maybe I was going to get my happy ending after all. "Thank you, Carly." I said to her as I stood by the door getting ready to leave.

She smiled & nodded. "I really am sorry. I hope that I didn't screw things up too bad with Laney."

I didn't want to tell her just how badly things had gone wrong when Laney heard Carly's bullshit being broadcasted over the airwaves, so I just simply nodded. "Have a nice life, Carly." And with that I turned and made my way out of her apartment. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted, like I could finally move on & be that family man that I so badly wanted to be now.

AJ picked me up & took me back to the airport. "You sure you don't wanna stick around for a few, Carter?"

I shook my head. "I need to take care of things with Laney now that this whole mess has been cleaned up, but I promise we'll be back out soon for a visit."

"I'm looking forward to it, bro. If you need anything at all, please call us," he said, giving me the typical 'guy hug' at the terminal gate.

"Thanks, Man. See ya." I told him as I turned and headed down the ramp to board my plance back to Virginia; my plane back to my new life.

***

Chapter 20

(Told by Nick)

Things with Carly had gone better than I'd expected really. I'd actually felt slightly sorry for her; after all I had left her. She had to understand though that my family was now the most important thing in my life & nothing was ever going to change that. After I'd taken care of things in LA I had AJ drive me back to the airport so I could get a flight out, back to my new life. I'd realized that my whole plan to be romantic & ask Laney to be my wife was out of the question now. I'd asked her once & she told me that she couldn't marry me. Now I could only hope that when I got back to the house that she'd change her mind. I wanted to be a proper family with her & Grayson.

***

I pulled up the driveway & put the car in park. I smiled when I saw Laney sitting on the front porch holding Grayson. I got out of the car & made my way up the sidewalk. "Look Gray, Daddy's home." She cooed to him. It was a vision I never thought I'd see, but now that I had it was one that I never wanted taken away from me.

I sat my carry on bag down & made my way over to them. She stood up & I took Grayson from her arms. I took that opportunity to lean down & kiss her. "Hey Sweets. Miss me?"

She smiled. "Maybe a little bit. How did things go?"

We took a seat in a couple of the chairs on the porch. "Everything is taken care of. Statements were given to any & all radio stations & magazines that she'd talked to. It should all be corrected by tomorrow. She's not pregnant, Laney."

I saw her relax a little bit. "Oh thank God. I don't know what I would've done if she had been. I just can't lose you again to her, especially after all of this."

I nodded. "I know, & you don't have to worry about that. We're going to be fine. We're a family now & that's the way it's going to stay. Isn't that right, buddy?" I asked Grayson who just stared intently at me with his big blue eyes.

"I've been thinking about what you asked me last night."

I looked up at her. I hadn't thought she'd be the one to bring it up. "Oh yeah?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I was kind of hoping that offer still stood."

I smiled & stood up reaching into my pocket. The ring still nestled inside it's little black box. I pulled it out & sat back down. "Of course it does. There's nothing in this world that would make me happier than having you as my wife."

"Then my answer is yes." She said. I could see tears threatening to escape her eyes. She held out her left hand & I slipped the ring on to it. At that moment, sitting there with Laney & Grayson, I had never been happier in my entire life.

I leaned over & kissed her. "You have just made me the luckiest guy in the entire world."

She smiled & took Grayson from me. "I'm going to go see if Momma can keep an eye on this little guy while we spend some time together."

"Don't lie, you just wanna show off the rock," I laughed. She got up & started towards the door.

"Well....that too." She said. "I'll be right back."

And with that, I watched as she disappeared in to the house. I realized that finally I was going to have my 'happy ever after' as cliche as that sounds. I'd lived the party life, done all of the things that musicians do. I'd spent my life on the pages of magazines & finally at 32 years old I had what I really wanted all along, but never knew it: a family of my own. This was where I was meant to be. I really was the luckiest man in the world.

****

Epilogue

-May 26th, 2012-

The sun was shining brightly that morning. I had awoke with a smile on my face. It was my wedding day. Nick & I were finally going to be a family with Grayson. Now here I was sitting in the my bedroom at my parents home dressed in my wedding gown. My mother was helping to curl my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror to see her smiling at me. "I'm so happy for you, honey. Nick is a great man. He's given up a lot for you & Gray."

I smiled back. "I know, Momma. How did I ever get so lucky?"

There was a knock on the door. "Who is it?" My Momma asked.

"Lucy." Lucy was my cousin & had been my best friend since we were kids. She was serving as my maid of honor today.

"Come on in." I said. The door opened quickly & Lucy walked in. She looked beautiful in the dress I'd picked out for her. It was a deep blue color & stopped right about the knee.

"Oh, Laney, you look beautiful!" She gushed. I stood up and she gave me a hug.

"Thank you, Lucy...I'm so happy you're here to spend this day with me."

"I wouldn't of dreamt of missing it."

"Okay, Laney, we need to get to the park, it's almost time." My mother said. We began gathering our things and were on our way. Nick & I had decided to get married in the same spot he'd first told me he loved me, the spot where he had originally proposed. It was just going to be small intimate ceremony. Only a handful of people had been invited. Nick had even gone through the trouble of reserving a church & reception hall on a completely different day in LA so that the press would be thrown off of when the actual wedding was happening. Today was about me & him; nothing else.

***

I was nervous. Nervous that she was going to change her mind. We'd been through so much & now here I was at the park where it had all really started for us watching as Grayson stumbled around on the playground. Watching carefully that he didn't mess up his tux. I couldn't help but smile at the boy who was the spitting image of me. I knew that years down the road I was going to have my hands full. I felt someone come up behind me & put a hand on my shoulder. I turned & smiled when I saw Kevin standing there. He had made the cross country trek to be there for me on my big day. "You ready to do this, Nick?"

I nodded, still keeping my eyes on Grayson. "I've honestly never been so ready for something in my entire life. Thank you again for being here for me man. I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather have standing up there with me than you."

"Don't mention it, Nick. You know I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"I guess it's about that time, isn't it?"

He chuckled. "Yup. Last chance to run."

I smiled & shook my head. "No. This is where I want to be. My life is perfect now." I walked over to pick up Grayson.

We made our way to the site of the ceremony & before I knew it the time had come to make Laney my wife. I was so glad that we had decided to go against the celebrity tradition of a huge event. We both wanted this day to just be about Laney, Grayson & myself. Our guest list was small. Her parents & brother were there. My siblings were all there, as well as the guys & their significant others. And that was the extent of the guest list. It was a perfect day & I was marrying the perfect woman.

I smiled as I watched Laney walk down the make shift aisle. She was absolutely gorgeous. She slowly made her way to me & I took her hands in mine.

The minister said his thing & we exchanged our vows. And just like that, the wedding was over. "I know pronounce you, husband & wife. Nick, you may kiss your bride."

I smiled. "With pleasure." I leaned in and kissed her like I never had before. I could hear our audience cheering & clapping. She was now my wife. I was now her husband. Life would never again be the same & I was happy about that. Laney's mother walked up & handed Grayson to us & we both placed a kiss on his cheeks. We were a proper family now. This was the way it was supposed to be all along.

***