I was at the library doing some research for my final post grad project when one of my colleagues quietly approached me to let me know that Mr. Olsher wanted to see me. I packed my books and my laptop and rushed to Mr. Olsher's office in one of the buildings across the campus.

Soon after his secretary announced I had arrived, she followed me to his office and closed the door behind me. Mr. Olsher greeted me like he always did: He wouldn't get up from his chair, he would just wave at me, say some nice word in my language, laugh at his attempt and show me the chair across his table.

Dean Olsher was member of NYU's Faculty and has been a radio broadcaster for thirty years. For much of the last twenty he has worked in public radio, serving as arts and culture correspondent for NPR News, and, most recently, as the creator and host of The Next Big Thing. He recorded the audio version of Steven Pinker's new book The Stuff of Thought: Language as a Window Into Human Nature (published in September of 2007) and is at work on his own book about crossword puzzles (Scribner)

He was a 65-year-old man with thick gray hair and the most gorgeous blue eyes I have ever seen. Even though he didn't look nothing like my dad, he was the only father figure I had since I moved to the US almost two years ago.

As he begins to make conversation, I find myself lost in memories of my first week at NYU when I was overwhelmed by the curiosity of all my colleagues asking me questions about my country, my past and me basically being the center of attention at the time.

But honestly, I liked being the center of attention.

Mr. Olshen and his lovely wife Alice lived in a nice house in the suburbs, their daughter Anne was a lawyer living with her husband and 2 children in California. They would often invite me to have dinner at their house to celebrate special dates and spend time with them.

I can still remember my first Thanksgiving dinner when I first tried the wonders of stuffed turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy sauce.

Oh my God... Alice's homemade gravy sauce. I felt my mouth watering after my senses reminded me of how good that tasted with the mashed potatoes...

I didn't want it to end, I didn't want to say goodbye to Mr. Olsher. And Alice's gravy sauce and...

“Kiddo, are you listening to me at all?” Mr. Olsher laughed as I lightly shook my head bringing myself to reality. I apologized and smiled at him, he shook his head and went on “As I was saying, I contacted some friends in the entertainment industry and I think I found something that might be a breakthrough moment for you. I think it fits your profile and keeps you in your field of work and career.” He handled me a press release from a record label.

I took the paper and as I started reading through, I just couldn't believe it. Turning the pages, I stood up from the chair and paced slowly around the office. Mr. Olsher did the same. He was holding his hands behind his back anxiously waiting for some reaction from me.

I finally turned around and our eyes met but I couldn't make a decent sentence in English, I stood there with my mouth shaped like a perfect “O” and my eyes wide open. He laughed and said “This is my last project before I retire. You better make me proud!”
“Mr. Olsher...” I finally said “...this is fucking sweet!” I closed my arms around his neck and gave him the tightest hug I have ever given someone. As he hugged me back, I hear him saying through his laughs “ Oh my dear, of all the amazing words in my language, you just had to stick with this one, didn't you?”

Mr. Olsher knew me too well. He knew I was a wild child with an adventurous soul but with a good head on my shoulders. He just knew how much I loved my career and how hard I was working to make it happen.

We finally broke the hug and he said “I guess this calls for a nice glass of wine and...” “Gravy sauce” I finished the sentence and we both laughed “Be there at seven, Alice and I will be waiting for you” I gathered my stuff and walked to the door. He was already back in his chair when I turned around and said “Thank you...” my voice cracking with emotion.

As soon as I closed the door on my way out, I felt the very common rush of excitement taking over my body, I knew that feeling too well and whenever I felt that way, I knew something incredibly amazing was about to happen to me.

I left the building to go back to my dorm but this time I crossed the campus running like an insane person and I just couldn't wait to call my mom.

“who the hell is she?” one random student asked as I passed by running a thousand miles per second.


My name is Aline Sousa, I'm a 27-year-old girl originally from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil where, at 22, I graduated from college as a journalist. I was an employee at a local newspaper and I had a weekly music column where I could tell people the wonders of music, news artists, new sounds and my favorite musicians. My final graduation project was about music therapy and it got published in a couple of articles on specialized media.

A couple of months before my 23rd birthday my dad died after a long battle against cancer. Dad was the most amazing person I have ever met, he loved to travel, to learn new things and he wouldn't pass on the opportunity to experience the unknown.

He would do the craziest shit you just couldn't picture an old man doing. He was the man who, as soon as he found out he had cancer, decided to go to Disneyland and ride all the crazy ass roller coasters of Bush Gardens before he had to begin his treatment.

I loved him for it.

Before he died, he took my hand and said something that I would never forget “Be who you wanna be, live like there's no tomorrow, love as you have never loved and take every chance life gives you. Oh, and while you're at it, knock one back for me”

And so I did. On the day of my 23rd birthday, I said goodbye to my mom and sister and went on my personal journey around the world with my dad's words echoing in my head. I spent a whole year traveling around the globe meeting new people, eating the weirdest food and living off a few jobs here and there.

Experiencing the unknown, just like my dad did.

After seeing the world in a new perspective, I decided it was time for me to focus on my profession not letting go of my thirst for the new.

That's how I ended up in NYU's Post Graduation program as the crazy-funny-story-telling foreign student.

After another long day of endless business meetings, I finally arrive home to the sweet smell of homemade food and the lovely sound of my seven year old son running around the house. My life was pretty much going smoothly the way I planned it.

I was a father, a husband, a well known artist and I managed to keep on doing what I loved by playing small roles in independent movies and plays. My wife was also an actor but since our son was born she took the main role as a mother and a housewife.

After being a Backstreet Boy for thirteen years, money was definitely not an issue in my life. I had a good house, cars, I would have romantic getaways with my wife whenever I wanted to, like the time we flew to Paris to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary.

Every other time I would walk around the house not really knowing what to do next and I'd always end up thinking back on the years as a BSB and I would catch myself missing the craziness that came along with it. I'd just shake those thoughts off and go back to my peaceful life with my family.

It was a hot day in California, I was by the pool reading a book when the phone rang. My wife came from the living room to the backyard, she had the phone and was laughing through the conversation “It's your cousin Brian” she gave me the phone, smiled and went back into the house where Mason was having a play date.

I put my book away and stared at the phone hesitating for a second, I took a deep breath “Hey Brian...what's the especial occasion?” I let out a small laugh through my breath when Brian answered with one of his smart ass comments “So, what's up with you now? How are the guys doing?” I prepared myself to listen to exclusive information on the Backstreet Boys.

“We're all good, we're only three concerts away from finishing the US and the last leg of our world tour. How about yourself?” I was going to start off describing my not so exciting day when Brian cut me off “Wait wait, lemme take a guess! It's a hot day in California and you're by the pool reading a book. Huh?huh?”

I looked around and realized that Brian was indeed right – shit – I thought to myself as he continued “Look Kevin, me and the guys are taking a couple of months' break and then we're heading to the studio to record our new album” Brian finished and waited for a reply that never came. “Kevin, it's our 20th anniversary album. It's going to be our last studio album and we want you in it” he said bluntly and I let out a heavy breath I didn't know I was holding.

A few moments later Kristin came out again and looked right into my eyes as if she could read through them “You are going back, aren't you?” She said and kissed my lips softly as if approving my decision.

That was nine months ago. Today I was home after our media and promotion meeting holding a spreadsheet with numbers and information on the upcoming promotional tour we would be doing in two weeks from now.

My name is Kevin Richardson and I'm a Backstreet Boy. Again.

The last couple of weeks were the craziest days of my life. My final project was done and I graduated with honors. The graduation party was absolutely awesome and my colleagues surprised me with the coolest farewell celebration ever. It got me bawling for two days after the party.

I was supposed to be heading back to Brazil after my graduation, but Mr. Olsher hooked me up with the coolest job ever, therefore I had to go back to the American Embassy with shit load of paperwork so I could change my visa status from exchange student to temporary worker.

After my visa was granted, I needed to head back to the Rolling Stone Magazine building to run some errands regarding my reporter ID and some last minute meetings.

I was officially an entertainment reporter for the magazine and I was going to spend the next month following the Backstreet Boys on their small farewell promotional tour, writing weekly articles for the magazine.

At first they hesitated a little I mean...I was a foreign and English was not my first language but after seeing some of my work during the interview, they finally gave in.

I've never realized how big my dorm actually was until all my stuff was packed in boxes outside in the hallway. When I found out I was going to be living in a tour bus with other reporters, I freaked out because I just had too much crap, I'd been living in that dorm for two years!

Some jocks helped me to load my little U-Haul truck and after more teary good-byes I headed to Mr. Olsher's house. Alice was kind enough to offer me to leave my stuff in her basement until my return to New York.

After a lunch filled with gravy sauce, Mr. Olsher and Alice drove me to the Hyatt Hotel where Universal Music was having a press conference and the buses were leaving from there as well. As I got out of the car, I felt a lump in my throat “Oh dear, it's just a month and you have to come back to get your belongings, we'll see you soon...” Alice gave me a warm hug when she saw the misty in my eyes. “I'll make sure there's enough gravy sauce and cheesecake for you when you come back, ok?” It was now Mr. Olsher's turn to hug me.

We said our good-byes and I headed to the front desk. A nice gentleman led me to a room next to the Convention Center where the reporters were being given their all access pass. A young man took my luggage and gave me a piece of paper with instructions to the parking lot where the buses were parked.

I entered the empty Convention Center and looked at the small plastic square hanging from my neck, it had a picture of me and “Press – Rolling Stone Magazine” written below it. I let out a very much girly squeal and then I felt somebody poking my arms “You must be Aline from RS. I'm Nancy Dwell from Entertainment Weekly”

Nancy was wearing a nice and preppy suit, she had her non natural blond hair so straightened down that not even a F-8 tornado could move it. I shook her hand and she continued “I guess we'll be sharing the bus, yay for bunk beds” She said and rolled her eyes as I pretended to find it funny “anyway, I'll go take a seat. See you later!”

Take a seat? There's no way in hell I was gonna take a seat. I moved the duffel bag from my back and took out my professional camera to snap some shots during the interview, then I noticed how Nancy had her own photographer.

I looked down at myself and hoped nobody else was as well dressed as Nancy. I was wearing jeans pants, all stars tennis shoes, a black Von Dutch T-shirt and my hair was up in a messy ponytail. As people started to enter the room, I met the other two reporters that were going to be sharing the bus with me, they seemed pretty cool and one of the guys, John, was actually dressed just like me.

Dude, I was relieved. Von Dutch T-Shirts For The WIN!

I heard loud giggles and squeals as a bunch of random girls were taking their seats “Fan Club members” said John. I just smiled and took a couple of pictures. Some time later the room was crowded and the boys would be arriving in a few minutes.

I felt my heart skipping beats as they entered the room and took their seats.

Yes, I was a Backstreet Boys fan. When I took a year off and traveled the world, I was lucky enough to attend a few (OK, a LOT) of their concerts in Asia and Europe. Unfortunately I wasn't able to catch them in New York on the last tour, I had a very important test that week.

Kevin was the first to grab the microphone and make the “Thank you all for being here, we really appreciate it” speech – Such a typical Kevin thing to do... - I laughed at my own thought. He was back and looking better than never. They all were aging pretty damn well I must say.

I had a huge grin on my face but I didn't have time to waste, I had work to do. I held up my camera and started to take pictures, I was all the way in the back of the Convention Center silently walking behind the chairs to get a better view and waiting for my time to ask my question.

Brian was talking about having the family on tour as his son, his year-old daughter and wife were joining him “That's good because I'll have my own bus and I won't need to share with stinker here anymore” He said pointing to Nick and making everybody laugh. I stopped and looked at them. Kevin seemed a little bit tense, he was looking around and surprisingly he wasn't doing all the talk as he usually would.

I pressed the record button on my voice recorder just in time to catch Nick defending himself from Brian's accusation and announcing that he and his wife Lauren were expecting.

I was freaking out. Of course I had done many interviews since my much talked comeback to the group, but the thought of being on the road again, living with the guys again and going through all of that again was terrifying me.

When I saw the room crowded with reporters and squealing fans, it hit me. Did I mention the squealing fans? I never thought I'd be hearing squeals from thirty-year-old women. Flash from cameras were almost blinding me. I was looking around lost in my own thoughts, and there was this photographer walking around the room taking pictures, why couldn't she just take a seat like everybody else? I mean...

“Right, Kevin?” I felt Nick's arm on my shoulder snapping me back “Oh yeah, definitely great. It's good to be back” I answered with a smile after only half listening to what Nick said about my comeback. I was glad Howie decided to continue on elaborating about me. I don't know why, but I wasn't doing all the talk as I usually would.

Don't get me wrong, I was absolutely thrilled to be back. I was doing what I loved and I still remember the first day at the studio when our voices fit perfectly like I had never left. The song we'd first sung together was an a Capella version of Shape of My heart, as we tested our voices and replacing keys and working on all the changes that happened since I left.

I can say things definitely changed. The guys were acting way more youthful than they would when I was around, their sound changed, their attitude changed and they were taking things more lightly as I'd often hear comments like “Relax a little, Kevin” “Dude, breath the fuck in, we won't miss the deadline” the cussed filled comments would always come from AJ.

They would hang out after recording and I'd just go back home, even Brian's wife would go clubbing with them every other time and I just wanted to go home. Home was a calm, happy place for me.

I had indeed become a cranky old man, but what could I do? I spent eight fucking years away from all of this! Did I miss it? Hell yeah! but I can freak out a little, can I?

“My question is for Kevin” That caught my attention and I realized it was the pic-happy-snappy girl. “You seem to be a little nervous, so tell me...Is it just me or this is really freaking you out?” The room filled with laughter and snappy girl arched her eyebrows and waited for an answer.

I wish she could have read my thoughts, but she only read my obviously freaked out expression “Yes, I am. I think I kind of forgot how it feels, I don't know it's just...” I paused “Overwhelming, that's all” I smiled hoping she was satisfied with what she got.

I think she was. She tilted her head back and a laugh came out of her bright honest smile “Thank you and welcome back” I smiled and nodded at her.

I shifted in the chair, tried to change my expression and pay attention to what was being said, I didn't want anyone to feel like I was bored or unhappy, because I was definitely not.

After the press conference was done, we took some pictures and went to a small cocktail that was being held for the press people that would be joining us for the next month. MTV and E! had their cameras rolling at all times, some fellow musicians were also there, I was mingling around when Howie called me out and waved at me.


He was standing next to snappy girl and she was chatting with his wife Leigh. “Kevin, this is Aline, she's with RS mag and she's going to travel with us” I switched the glass of wine in my hands and offered the other one for her to shake.

She had a strong hand-shake. She briefly introduced herself and I was surprised when she said she was from Brazil. Snappy girl was actually pretty nice, she wasn't one of those stuck up reporters that would act stupid when next to famous people.

Reporters like Nancy Dwell. She was an old acquaintance of ours and she was always trying to hit on one of us. I thought that would have changed, but I was wrong. Thank God my wife took me away from her.

Kristin was talking to one of the Universal executives. I wasn't really paying attention. I was looking for Nick, he was going to be a father and I haven't had the chance to congratulate him. When my eyes caught the back of his head, he and Lauren were talking to snappy girl. I watched as they laughed and Lauren hugged her. I'm sure they were talking about the baby.

Nick waved at AJ and his wife Rochelle and they joined the three of them. Then a couple of more people joined, then snappy girl was the center of all attentions as everybody seemed so interested in whatever the hell she was talking about.

I turned my back on them hoping they wouldn't notice me there. I was going to leave my wife and kid in a couple of hours and I wasn't in the mood to hear stories. Or maybe jokes? I don't know but they were all laughing when I made my move.

I was having an amazing time! I couldn't believe that AJ McLean and Nick Carter were paying attention to me and actually laughing at my stories. I was feeling good and welcomed in the group. Howie and his wife were very sweet to me and they kindly introduced me to Kevin Richardson.

He was very nice and polite, but he didn't really bother sticking around to chat, specially after Nancy was all over him with a camera right on his face. He was not amused.

Howie rolled his eyes and told me a little bit about Nancy “Gee, thanks. I'm sharing the bus with her, Howie” I said laughing and Howie did the same. Shortly after, he excused himself and went somewhere else.

The event was finally over. I had a round of welcomes and good-nights from people around me and then I joined John and the other 3 people on the way to our bus. I let everybody in before me so I could take a peek at the guys and crew getting into their buses.

Brian had a pretty busy bus, besides his family members, he had a nanny and a member of Wylee Bags to help Leighanne with her business. Yes, after all these years she was still selling purses outside her husband public events.

Howie and his family had also their own bus while Nick was sharing his with Lauren, AJ and his wife.

I was smoking next to my bus just watching the craziness around me. “You know that this will end up killing ya, don't ya?” Kevin was taking a turn to get into his bus as it was parked next to mine. “Thanks for the heads up” we both laughed. I stomp on my cigarette butt and finally headed inside.

AJ told me earlier that Kevin was traveling alone and would share his bus with their manager. His kid wasn't home-schooled like Baylee so he had to attend actual classes. I'm sure that was being hard on him, suddenly finding himself away from his family, I felt sorry for him.

I took a quick shower in the smallest bathroom ever, changed into my PJ's and finally rested my tired body in the little, but somehow, comfy bunk bed. The bus finally took off on its way to Sunbury, in Pennsylvania.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After six and a half hours on the road, the buses finally parked at the venue where the band was going to perform later in the evening. The sun was coming out and the sky had a beautiful orange color. Kevin was up already, he went to the small kitchen to fix himself some coffee and he had planned to go back to bed when he heard footsteps outside his bus.

He quietly opened the small bus window and put his head outside just to see snappy girl holding a fuming cup of coffee walking to the side of bus in the now full out sunshine ahead of them. She was dressed in what seemed to be a PJ lousy pants, a NYU sweater and her long messy brown hair was down almost reaching her waist.

Kevin watched as Aline put her now empty mug on the floor, fixed her sweater and opened her arms letting the warmth of the morning sun embrace her whole body. He shook his head while closing the small window and went back to bed.

It has become a ritual to her since she visited India for the first time. It wouldn't matter how late she went to bed, she would get up early to see the first rays of sunshine of the day, open her arms and let it shine down on her, then she would be ready to begin her day.

Aline went back inside the bus and looked around, and heard John snoring. She laughed and turned on her laptop to start writing. She knew she would be fully awake in a couple of minutes. She didn't like spending most of her days sleeping.

Sometime later in the morning, Aline was now showered and dressed but still working on her computer “Wow, you're already up. And Working. And smiling. What's wrong with you college people?” Nancy was now up. “Well, good morning to you too” Aline laughed and looked a the clock in her computer screen, it was 9:30 AM “and by the way...” Aline continued “I'm not college people, I'm a Post Grad with honors. I know, thank you” Aline playfully winked at Nancy as she rolled her eyes and served herself with coffee.

Aline closed her laptop and looked outside the bus, there were already people working around the venue and as some catering staff took food inside the venue, she realized how hungry she was so she decided to go have breakfast and John followed her on the way “Aren't you bringing your camera and notepad? The sooner your start working, the sooner you'll have free time” Aline laughed and stuck her hands in the back-pockets of her jeans “I am working, just not the same way you are”

John laughed. he found her to be extremely charming and a pleasant company for this trip. They were walking in silence crossing the parking lot towards the venue when Baylee and James passed by them running with a very breathless Brian and Leigh going after them.

“Good morning, Oh and get used to this” Brian said laughing and running non stop. Leigh stopped to catch her breath and greeted Aline and John. “Oh good, shall we have breakfast now?” Leigh said and smiled when she saw Brian holding Baylee in one had and James under his left arm. John took a picture of that moment and looked at Aline, she just shook her head and smiled at him.

Aline and John had their plates in hand and headed to a small table away from where the band and crew were seated. “Hey, Aline!” she turned around at the sound of her name just to see Nick waving at her “Come sit with us!” She hesitated a little, she didn't want to be the kind of reporter who bother people early in the morning, but then again Nick invited her.

You just can't say no to a Nick invitation, can you?

Aline gave John an apologetic look and headed to Nick's table. AJ, Lauren and Rochelle were sitting with him and they all greeted her “So, how's the bunk bed treating ya?” Rochelle asked “Honey, this girl spent fifteen days sleeping in tents in the Maori community in New Zealand, I'm sure this bus is a piece of cake” Aline laughed at AJ's response and nodded her head in agreement while chewing on a bagel.

“Tents in New Zealand, huh?” She swallowed hard as Kevin approached and took a seat next to her.
“Yeah it was a very...” she paused and looked at Kevin while trying to read the very cynical look on his face “...interesting experience” she finally said facing her almost empty plate. He went on “So tell me, were the Maoris ok with early morning interviews or you just didn't bother asking?” Lauren almost choked on her orange juice and all eyes were suddenly on Kevin.

Aline looked around and then back to Kevin. He was chewing on a apple, facing her and waiting for an answer. Aline took a sip of her orange juice, pressed her hands against her jeans pants and took a light breath “Well...” she paused and looked at everybody else “At first they were indeed worried about non Maori people around their community, but when they realized those visitors offered no harm to them, they were actually pretty nice and welcoming, making the experience an incredibly nice one...”

Kevin was about to make another snarky comment when he realized Aline wasn't finished “If you happen to go to NZ on tour , you should spend a day or two with the Maoris, you'd be surprised with the things you might learn from them” She finished saying. Nick and AJ had small grins on their faces while the girls were trying not to laugh. Aline excused herself and left the table “Thanks for the chat, I'll catch up with you guys later”.

“Wow Kevin, that was uncalled for...” Nick said shaking his head “ Did she really thought she would just seat here and start asking questions? I mean, don't we have set up times for interviews?” Kevin said as if he was totally right. “Dude, Nick invited her to have a seat. Why do you have to be so fucking rude?” AJ said. Kevin gave him the cold shoulder and kept on eating, the table was now quiet.

Aline went back to where John was seated, he asked her what was wrong but she didn't bother answering. She wasn't going to allow a cranky old man to ruin her mood – maybe he's not a morning person – She thought to herself. She'd rather believe that than he was just a straight up asshole.

After breakfast, the reporters were allowed to begin their interview time. Some of them were following the group with cameras and capturing the stage set up, sound tests and kids running around. Aline just snapped some pictures and walked around trying to capture the buzz around her.

Since she was just writing for the magazine, she didn't feel the urge to take shit load of pictures or make useless videos and bother them. It was easier for her to just be around people and write her own feelings and point of view.

The group was gathered backstage in a huge room with food, beverages, large comfortable couches
a vending machine and a PS3 connected to a huge LCD screen for much of Nick's enjoyment. Aline was seated on the floor playing with James, Baylee and Brian's little girl while Leighanne and Leigh watched them.

The reason why they felt so comfortable with her was the fact she didn't make them feel like they were being interviewed, she would just throw random questions at them as if she was having a regular conversation while they would be doing their thing around the place. They were also very much curious about her own stories as they kept asking her questions.

Aline was looking around, but still paying attention to the game she was playing with the kids. She saw John chatting with a roadie, Nancy checking her nails and not giving a fuck (her camera man was long gone to the bathroom, probably trying to get away from her) and Kevin was seated on the couch in front of her, he was on the phone and his eyes were closed.

She watched as his expression lighted at the sound of his son's voice on the phone “Hey buddy, dad misses you so, so much already” she heard him saying “I love you too big boy, I can't wait to see you and mom again” He still had his eyes closed, but the smile on his lips were the most sincere and sweet that Aline haven't seen since she met him.

Aline smiled to herself thinking that maybe, just maybe there was a chance Kevin wouldn't make her life miserable, after all, he was just missing his family, that's all. She suddenly missed her dad. She thought of mom and sister and a lump formed in her throat. She excused herself and went outside to call home.

We were scheduled to play a few small venues in the East Coast, then we'd go to the West Coast and then back to New York to release the album, after that we would start our world tour in Europe.

The venue in Sunbury was small and so was the stage set up. It was more of a pocket concert for a little more than a thousand people among fans and local press.

We were all very excited, Brian was jumping on Nick's back, Howie and AJ were trying to assure me it would be fine, I was really excited and a little bit nervous, it had been years since I took the stage as a BSB.

But I was feeling good. I was exactly where I was supposed to be, I belonged here. Brian finally called everybody to join in the circle for our prayer. I smiled, feeling like I was 25 years old again. I missed that feeling.

As we were giving each other's hand to hold, I see Leighanne moving her head towards snappy girl, calling her to join us. I couldn't believe it, was she kidding me?? Snappy girl went pale, I silently wished she'd say no, but Brian grabbed her hand and shoved her between him and Leighanne, the three of them laughing.

I don't want to be a pain the ass, but the guys know how cautious I've always been when it comes to the press, I mean after all the shit they would write about us, it just didn't seem right to let this girl come into our private moments like that, Lord knows what went through her mind...

I closed my eyes and focused on Brian's words, he has always given the best prayers ever. Not only because he was a Christian, but because he actually meant every word. After he was done, I had my eyes filled with tears and Brian hugged me tightly “This is it cuz, thank you for being here with us” we broke apart and I went to hug the other guys. When I was done doing that I turned around and Snappy girl was right behind me, feeling a little out of place.

I was about to leave when our eyes met. I couldn't help but notice how her light brown eyes were gorgeous and misty. I felt myself softening a little when she offered me her hand to shake “Have a great show and thank you for having me here, I really appreciate it” she opened her big, bright smile, the same smile she had after listening to my answer on the press conference.

I didn't say a word, I was caught up in my thoughts when she let go of my hand and left.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We finally took the stage and I felt my heart pumping blood to every part of my body. I felt alive, I don't remember feeling like that in a long freaking time. We were doing pretty good for a first and new concert. As it always happens on first concerts we messed up a few of the new lyrics, forgot a few of the older stuff and, even though we didn't have much dancing, we managed to mess up the very few we had.

The guys weren't very worried about that, I wasn't either but you know...I don't like messing up my own thing. I knew I was going to talk to them about it.

During the concert I'd look around just to see snappy girl singing and dancing to all of our songs, I then realized she was also a fan. Isn't that perfect? Not.

When the concert was over, I felt my body tired but my mind was racing. We took a quick shower backstage and went to a small gathering behind the venue set up by our manager and crew members. Of course the guy from MTV was there, Nancy was there with the camera man and snappy girl was having too much fun.

Sometimes I wonder if she's really working or just taking a very good vacations paid by the Rolling Stone mag. I'd hardly seen her with a camera, a recorder or anything like that. I worried about what she had planned to write about her time here.

I knew that if I mentioned this to the guys, they would go postal on me, but I was sure I'd be the one going 'I told you so' on them.

We wouldn't leave Sunbury until later on, so the guys decided to go to a bar nearby. As usual I politely declined the offer and went to my bus where Greg, our manager, was getting ready to leave. I sat in the small table on the bus and Greg threw a bunch of magazines in front of me “Here, have some fun” he laughed and left.

I looked at all those mags, some of them had our faces on the cover, then I saw the new edition of RS magazine. I looked through it trying to find anything on snappy girl when a headline caught my attention: On The Road With...The Backstreet Boys.

There it was, a whole page dedicated to her column. Of course she wrote the piece before she left NY as it was a profile introducing herself to her future readers. As I read the piece, I realized this girl knew what she was talking about and I was amused when she briefly described her around the world trip by herself and her honest love for the Backstreet Boys.

“...You don't know what being a Backstreet Boys fan means until you become one. As they say their good-byes to millions of followers, I suggest you taking this opportunity to know their history and accept them in your future. You won't regret it.”

That's how she ended her piece after 're-introducing' us to her readers. I let a heavy sigh through my breath.

Maybe Aline wasn't evil after all. Maybe.

I finally went to bed and a few hours after that, I heard the bus' engines roaring for life and heading to our next stop, Philadelphia.

After I called my mom, I returned to the room where the guys were getting ready to begin their circle of prayer. I was leaning against a wall when Leighanne nodded my way, inviting me to join them.

I'm pretty sure I went pale as I felt the blood draining out of my face. I shook my head no, trying not to look panicked “Are you kidding me? Go!” I heard Nancy whispering next to me. I didn't have time to answer as I felt Brian's hand on mine, and he basically shoved me between him and Lighanne. We laughed and Brian started to pray.

When Brian was done, he gave me a hug. I wished him good luck and just watched as everybody else started their rounds of hugs. I was feeling a little out of place, so I decided to leave and when I turned around to do so, my eyes met Kevin's.

He was just standing there looking at me. I tried to hide the fact that I was really emotional and holding back some tears that were ready to scape my eyes. I extended my hand for him to shake, said something I don't remember now and finally left.

I think I freaked out when I looked at him. I don't know why, maybe I was afraid he would snap at me or something but he didn't.

I finally took my place right in front of the stage in the audience, I was really excited to be seeing them live in such an exclusive way, it was like a dream come true. No need to say how amazing the concert was.

We had a little party going on backstage after the concert and I was having a blast. AJ and Nick were picking on me when they realized I was a fan, I couldn't stop laughing, they were incredibly nice and sweet.

Howie came up with the idea of going to a fancy bar near the venue, everybody was up, except for Kevin. I watched as he excused himself and left. I looked at my watch and when I was about to leave, Leigh – Howie's wife – came up to me “Hey Ally, wanna join us?” I looked at her surprised and she went on whispering “Just don't tell Nancy and the other people ok? We'll meet you outside Brian's bus at 11” She winked and smiled, and I finally understood why the hell she was whispering.

Nancy was indeed persona non grata – I laughed and went back to the bus to get dressed.


I had a great time with them, we danced and had a few drinks. I was shocked to see Brian's wife dancing with him, they are such a hot couple and even though Leighanne was way over forty, bitch still got it. Nick and Lauren left early, she was feeling really sick, I'm sure a smoky bars are a bad idea for a pregnant lady.

We hung out for a couple of hours and then hurried back to the venue, the buses were leaving in 20 minutes. As soon as I stepped in the bus, the driver smiled at me and we finally took off.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When I woke up, I realized the bus was parked, so I got up from the bed and went to the small living area to look out the window. The sun was not out completely, so I smiled and started my daily ritual. A few minutes later, I had my fuming cup of coffee in hand and my body being blessed by the sun's warmth. I stood there with my mind racing with so many thoughts, I smiled when the memory of them calling me Ally came up. It was Leigh's idea, maybe Aline was hard for them to pronounce? I don't know and I don't care, I think it's cute. I like it.

My thoughts were interrupted when the driver arrived and warned me that we still had a two-hour drive ahead of us. I headed back to the bus and started to work on my laptop. For some reason I still had Kevin on my mind and I caught myself Google-ing him. I didn't know what exactly I was looking for, but there must be a reason why he was such a serious dude.

I knew he was not very fond of the press. I knew he was excited to be back. I knew he was missing his family, and that he had never left his son for such a long period of time. But I also knew what a great man he was and I could confirm that when he looked deep into my eyes last night.

“Come back to life, Kevin” I thought to myself as I closed my laptop and went to get dressed for another day of work.